Christian dating advice – relationship tips for the faithful

I recommend Christian dating for those who are serious about finding a girlfriend and wife. Christian dating is better than any other type of dating you will find on the web for those who are US and UK-based. This is backed up by data.

I can include in the my recommendation Catholic and Orthodox dating. The percentage of lasting relationships from religious based dating are statistically higher than a whatever, cast your net out there and hope for the best dating site. If I was not married and did not want to entertain foreign girls, I think dating Christians is the way to increase your probability marital happiness. In fact, it is no probability at all if you find someone who understands the sanctity of marriage.

  • This is very important guys (and girls), use your powers of observation like Sherlock Holmes to see what others do not, see if they are sincere. If you have doubts there is usually a reason and your intuition is right. I can not stress how important morals are in mate selection. Every guy that gets shafted by a gold digger, have the Sheriff deliverer papers at the door and been cheated on or simply in a living purgatory of a nagging wife, knows what I am talking about. I can not emphasis this enough, your marriage is the most important decisions of your life, make sure you know who you are marrying. Do not feel no one else will marry you, or whatever. Go for your prince or princess, take no prisoner go for everything, looks, morality your dream.
  • The choice is yours, a living hell with a lady who will break you or a happy life, ever after. Take my advice, go for a cordial lady who is religious.
  • Faith is a message of liberation. If you think about the history of love, Christianity changed pagan decadent Rome where women were treated as objects to the idealistic chivalry of the high Middle Ages. Anyone who confuses women’s lib with the genuine liberation of women needs to empty the bins of their recycled political correctness and look at the true history of romantic love.
Your love life not working consider going meditation on icons or stained glass, use the power of prayer and be patient.

The purpose of this post is to outline aspects of Christian dating that are relevant to the American courtship experience. Who am I? Well look at my blog, I am not some pious self-righteous, I am a former male pig. I am not proud of this in any way. I am saying I have seen both sides and I know which side is greener pastures.  I can only think of 1 Corinthians 13:11.  This includes:

  • Feelings of being conflicted about dating and the Bible
  • Why spiritual dating is not important, it is the only way.
  • Are non-Christian better looking?
  • Does God exist? Struggles with faith.
  • Who is a Christian? Are Catholics Christian? What about other believers?
  • Christians in name only
  • What about non-believers who want to date people of faith?
  • What is a Christian to do when looking for love and marriage?
  • Unusual and unexpected pitfalls of Christian romance
  • Prayer, destiny and love.
  • Concluding remarks.

I will follow the sequence of the above points in the following article.

Philander or gratification – hormones and dating

Do you remember when you were in High school and you were reading the Bible every night and moved by the words and stories, yet hormones were out of control and even being in proximity to a guy or girl stirred you? Look it is in our program to get turned on at a drop of a pin. Humans are hyper-friendshipual. There I said it, but it is true. It is the way we were created or the human race would not continue. If hormones did not override your superego we would

The deep mental anguish you felt from being conflicted? Not to mention feelings of low self-esteem and comparing and judging the world? There was a contradictory diccordialomy between your sensuality and religious teachings? Welcome to the club called humanity. My recommendation is this, stay true to your ideals and wait for your one and only. Use self pleasure, fantasy, meditation, sports, computer games or whatever you need to control this so you make rational choices in love and marriage, not based on desperate chemical messengers.

Self pleasure is perhaps the optimal because it will solve the problem. If you feel guilty about this do not. Consider how wrong it is to use ladys or mess with their emotions and the real harm it can cause. While gratification in another way is neutral. It does not hurt anyone. Everyone does it. If you can transmute this energy into prayer or meditation even better. Some people use the exercises of yoga also. But the main thing is realizes that in the 21st century it is not practical to get married at the time your hormones start to kick in like they did hundreds of years ago. So there is a new set of problems, that is an incongruence between adolescence (physical development to an adult functioning body) and marriage which was later.

Spiritually based dating vs. every other type of courtship

You might not use a Christian dating website, but if you have any shred of faith in you, even the size of a mustard seed, I recommend you screen ladys based on morality.

There are beautiful women in the world whose lips are as sweet as honey. I know, some almost hooked me and I thank God I did not lose my sense of judgment. Years later I had looked these girls up as a sociological experiment, and their lives were train wrecks. Yes these cordial girls that were barely paying for their worldly ways, for lack of a better term karmically. My point is run from women who are not idealistic to the Nth degree.

In contrast the ones that are Christians have pretty happy lives a family and look beautiful. What can I say it is true. If you do not believe me, follow the time line of any Hollywood star who was libertine in contrast with Patricia Heaton, Kristin Chenoweth, Martha Williamson or better yet, any female Christian singer like Natalie Grant, Amy Grant or Rebecca St. James. Look at their personal lives and compare them to the lives of train wrecks like Lindsay Lohan. Be aware that many women are like Lindsay waiting to mess up and destroy your life. You have to learn to smoke them out by maybe not giving them an Inquisition but at least an examination of consciousness during some starry-eyed night in the park.

So what to do is have a tete-a- tete?

Inevitable you want to engage them into philosophical conversations. I can not image that you do not epistemology, rather, mores scruples and their relation to family and marriage. I am not big on conditional ethics and relativism when it comes to holy matrimony. Find a girl who has your ideals. It is that simple. I would put this has perhaps the most important determinate criteria for mate selection. Find a super cordial girl who has integrity and standards, a sense of character, that is God centered, because God is the Source for which we all return.

Test ladys, try to smoke them out and make sure that they are not just talking and trying to put themselves out as good little girls and then treat you like a meal ticket. I have had agnostic ladys remind me of virtue when they had live like any girl from NYC on a Saturday night. They use morality as a means of control. You do not want to get tricked by one of those women. You need to really be tricky and try to see through women.

  • I recommend to read up on ways to see though women get them to confess the truth about their worldview. Basically your life depends on it. If there is one take away, it is this. See the true nature of the women you are dating. As you look at them try to visualize their beauty as a function of their goodness and devious crafty ways actually distorting their attractiveness.

You are on a date make sure at some point you talk to your date about this, maybe not the first or second encounter, but eventually. I personally allude to it in the first five minutes of conversation and see their reaction as I was a player and had no time to waste on gals that did not fit my vision.

Are the pool of girls out there with morality less attractive?

Actually in my experience ethical girls are universally more attractive. Beauty and virtue like the Ancient Greeks believed are one in this case. I would say the correlation has a high level of confidence. It makes sense that women that are aware about spiritual things.

Think about it, if someone develops their spiritual ideal, the highest level on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs chances are they have addressed other things like health and moderation. Consistency of behavior dictates that good people are more attractive. They take care of themselves.

Also I do not know why, just an observation, Christian girls in middle age seem to age slower. I see less wrinkles on their face. Maybe they are more at peace with themselves.

Further, the basic equipment on any female body is the same. There is no way you can convince me that bad girls have better bodies. Maybe an argument could be made that bad girls have more testosterone, but looks, no. Usually it is a matter of style of dress or the way they carry themselves.

Hence, I conclude that believers are just as attractive if not more than their more worldly counterparts.

What about a Christian coquette

I meet lots of flirtatious believers, but they do it in the right measure. It mildly irritates me when ladys try to use their charm to try to get men to do what they want. In my experience this is not the case with girls that take their faith seriously, rather they just flirt invoke intrigue, but do not abuse the power give.

Then enter the dynamics of A likes B but B does not like A because B likes C. Further, you had an additional problem that not everyone out there were Christians. The coolest and cordialtest were often from this new world ethic. Gradually you started to compromise your ideals and water down your beliefs to fit a bit and start dating.

My message is no need to. I am a big advocate of not being extreme, for Jesus was the middle way. Yet he was radical in his authentic in act, word and deed.

I write a lot of crazy things on this website, however, my underlying premise is a house build on sand is washed away, while a house built with a strong foundation endures.

I am married and happy. I can tell you marriage is infinity times better than being single.

Many people have a misconception that people who are churchy are good. This is crazy. Church is a hospital for sinners not a gathering place for saints. It is a ridiculous paper tiger to criticism of Bible believers based on their conduct. I mean their blood runs red like yours does with all the problems and temptations you have. Rather believers get inspiration and hope from the message. Is there any reason not to connect with other like-minded people?

I should be a more positive instrument in the world more aligned with my ideals. This should be the way you are thinking. Jettison the Hanky-panky and get real about the meaning of life question.

What about God?

For people who believe in God faith is a gift but also a challenge. For those who do not believe I would recommend a book like Does God Exist by Hans Kung. Look I believe in evolution and science and I am a skeptical inquirer but the scientific explanation for the physical universe does not answer the meaning of life question. That is something that keeps resonating in all of us. Why we are something and not nothing, why there is anything at all? Usually people who think the faithful are naïve are prideful, they think they are just a little bit more clever. That is why I invite you to think about the other side and read serious modern theology like above.

What about Christians who are Catholic and Orthodox and other denomination?

I am Catholics, some of my family was Eastern Orthodox and I went to Protestant schools from High School to graduate school. Are we not all one in Christ? I think it does not matter. You want to date a Russian Orthodox girl and you are a Baptist do it. Jesus opens the gate, not closes it.

Christian girls in name only

The key idea here is do you take your religious authentically and find someone who is not in name only, but walking the walk.

Evidence for this might be do they do to Church, read the Bible talk about morality and moral issues. I do, as so much of life is this. Do they manifest their system in a concrete way. Name only people are often worst them ethical humanist. So watch out.

What about dating people of who are non-believers or other faiths

Other faiths are easy. I would marry a Muslim if I was in love, yet I am thankful my wife and I are of the same system, it makes it easier. The same goes for Buddhist and other faiths. Non-believers I guess you could take the attitude that we all have the light of God in us, even if some do not see it in themselves but, for me it would be hard to do.

I would date a girl who is a yoga girl. Just make sure they would stay with you and not one of these experimental new age women that deem all ideas equally credulous and relativist to the point she would leave you.

Amish Romances are one of the most popular selling genre of fiction for a reason. People, ladies want to deep down be domestic. So do not feel you have to compromise for some liberal that does not cook and nurture. You want a kinship of ideas.

Now I have convinced you where to look for your lady friend?

Look within the community, then expand your search thematically and geographically.

  • Church or Mass is obvious.
  • Go to clubs, beach anywhere and then screen prospects if you are attracted to them.
  • No different from any other approach except you apply a screen or filter for the immoral.
  • I might try major reputable Christian dating websites like
  • Travel to countries like Poland and Romania where people take their believes seriously (more).
  • Woo them like any girlfriend, be as passionate as you like, just do not lie or cheat.

Unusual and unexpected pitfalls of Christian romance

The only pitiful is you find someone you love romantically and attracted to and they are not your intellectually compatible. Not a big problem, but make sure that they function at a reasonably high cognitive level if you do. I basically think the girl just has to be cordial and faithful as we all add up to 100%. Do not look for redemption directly in the dating process or your mate, rather first find it in answering the meaning of life question, then God will lead you to the person who transforms your life. I feel that in a fairy-tale sense my wife rescued me as I rescued her. We saved each other. However, first we had to be true to our faith in God.

Prayer and density

Read any of my posts on visualization here and prayer. I do not need to repeat what I wrote for techniques. But I think the general idea is use prayer and you imagination to start the wheels in motion to have your fairy-tale. My article on visualization is here, imagination, love and the Divine. For a take on more traditional go here, Christian prayer and romantic dating.  Below are a series of articles I wrote on the same subject and I invite you to explore them.

Concluding remarks

If you want to live a fairy-tale with passion, love and loyalty, find a super attractive girl whose convictions match or exceed her physical appearance and marry her. My favorite book on love is by Thomas Kempis if anyone is interest, he lived a few years back. What is yours or your view, I am really curious what the pulse is on my above writing.


Lazy dating equals no prince or princess

Harvard geneticists, George M. Church  wants to clone a Neanderthal and have a woman surrogate carry the baby. This would bring cavemen back to the earth. Maybe this is not a bad thing. Think about how lazy we have become in our dating process. Men and women in the 21st century hide in their apartment caves except for excursions to work,their local Wholefoods and yoga/Pilates class and an occasional guy or girls night out and a random hook up from a dating site. My question to you is where is your courage man (girl)? What is happening here, are we all becoming like Morlocks from H.G. Wells ‘Time Machine’?

Another valentine alone – here is why

Most guys (and girls) looking for a mate are lazy as a sloth. After putting in their grinding ten hours a day at the office, being a super hero and dancing around their boss’ every whim; when it comes to finding a mate, someone you will spend the rest of your life with, they take the path of least resistance.

The average single comes home, puts on their comfortable baggy sweatpants and slippers, starts dinner and surfs the web, checking Facebook, LinkedIn (yes people flirt with LinkedIn) and their dating site of choice, lets say for example.

I do not care if you have no money – you can travel the world – a a true woman is won by authenticity.

Geographically desirable dating is for losers

They turn on their laptop, tablet or mobile phone and search dating sites for girls they would not have to drive to far to meet. Geographically desirable dating is one of the lamest ways to find your other half. Get a life. You are searching and dreaming of the person you are going to spend eternity with. Why limit yourself to the girl or guy next door? Why not find your true one and only with courage? If you are such a super star in your career, working nights and weekends, why not go the extra mile to find your destiny?

For example, the girls that are my neighbors are, two obese college students addicted to their cell phones and two middle age divorced ladies who smoke. If I extend this net out beyond my condo complex it does not get much better.

Look beyond the ordinary and start to dream – then take concrete steps to find what you are looking for.

What about speed dating?

Singles are desperate and impatient, they do speed-dating and hope to find a lifelong partner in minutes. Speed-dating is another form of people who are lazy and opting for geographically desirable partners over the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend.

My solution for finding enchantment

If you are lonely search the world for your love. Pull out all stops and surrender your ego and admit you want to find love and take action proportional to your desire. If you have weak desire and a limp lets say, ‘libido’, the plain Jane next door will do. If you want to find your Helen of Troy, then launch a thousand ships and take up arms against your sea of troubles and find her.

Weak hormone strategy of mating vs. strong hormone play

If you have a strong limbic urges, search the world. If you have a weak hormone level, than maybe the girl or guy in a ten-mile radius will do. The Bible says ‘seek and you will find’. Try to understand your search for love, not as something that you keep on the down low, but as a badge of courage. Do not be afraid to admit you are single, rather take action without limits or boundaries, especially geographical.

The drive to find a wife or husband needs to be courageous

Hormones are the impetus for action. Do you have impetus or are you impo…? If you are healthy than these chemical messengers should motivate you to find the optimal spouse for reproduction. If you are a slothful dater, then examine if your degenerated diet plays a role. Or perhaps you have psychosocial attachment to your mother, or culturally determined mores shackle your DNA’s drive for mating. Healthy Homo sapiens have something akin to Pon farr (Alpha memory Vulcan dating reference), that will stop at nothing to find and capture their companion.

Go for what you want, instinctively, even if you have to travel the world to find the one.

Girls tool cool to date swindling themselves out of their own lives

Why are people are ashamed of admitting they are lonely? I have no idea. Somehow in American culture girls like to say ridiculous things like ‘I do not need a guy’ or ‘let’s meet but it is not a date’. In fact the word “date” is almost taboo. It has to be something else, something that will say, ‘I am so cool and independent that I do not need a guy’, while their ovaries are aching so bad each month they are neurotic about food and shopping or find some random guy in a club to have a relationship with. That is they have a psychological conflict between their real human side and culturally determined signals.

One million years of evolution vs. modern cultural messages

Girls are designed to find a guy, mate with him frequently and have babies. Why all the pretending? Everything they do from spending an inordinate amount of time on their looks and style is because they want to reproduce. There is nothing wrong with that. Yet, materialistic culture messes with their heads. Nature wants us to reproduce and so do all major religions. What is so wrong with it?

Visualize your dream, then actualize by holding nothing back and be the archetypal hero or heroine that saves the day and wins true love.

Me, I decided not to put up with all the nonsense in my own culture, where up is down and down is up, and traveled the world. Sure there are nice girls in the USA, but consider my point. You work so hard at your job, you should work a zillion times harder at finding true love. Because true love is the only thing that will bring you happiness.

What specifically to do to find your other half

Since you cannot not just order a wife, you need to think of plan B. If you have ever considered meeting a girl outside a dating site via a search for girls 18-35 within a 25 mile radius of your zip code, let me tell you what to do. Get a plane ticket and fry away and meet your mate, a foreign lady friend or groom.

Do not be scammed or pay out the wazoo for a foreign lady friend tour. Do you want to meet a lady whose beauty and virtue is intertwined? Listen up, I know what I am talking about,I lived in Eastern Europe for about a decade. I meet my wife in Eastern Europe. I did not meet her on a foreign lady friend tour. I was just a world traveler and it happened. I traveled on a shoe string and it takes no money. It just takes courage.

Let me know if you have any questions on how to travel the world and find your prince or princess.


Praying for love – God get me a date

It baffles me. Why when we have this great infinite power to help us in our lives, people do not ask for help? If you are single I recommend you pray for love. The purpose of this post is to give you practical tips on how to make destiny unfold and usher you to the courtship and marriage.

If you do not ask for help, you are swindling yourself out of you own life. If you lack faith, get over yourself and try. This is your life, your one and only and do not let true love pass you by.

Frankly, I find it distasteful when people talk publicly about religion, I jokingly say ‘keep it in church’. Yet on the other hand, prayer will lead you to the love of your life. It lead me.  I feel It would be an injustice if I did not convey this message.

When you sense your aloneness on this earth at the same time this is an opportunity to connect to the Divine.

Prayer or meditation for enchanting attraction

Look I am with you if you are into contemplative prayer, meditation or anything mystical (which means ‘to close lips’). I have practiced this in my life on and off.  Yet, life is so fast paced. I find mediation too mentally strenuous to keep going for any length of time. I will do it for a day or two, but then life accelerates again. This is why I prefer simple prayer. Do it with a sincere heart and simplicity like Jesus taught.

A few maybe nots with talking to God for a mate

  1. Loading your Cell phone – Do not pray while waiting for your computer to boot Windows, or your waiting for your mobile device to start.
  2. In bed – Consider not praying while under the covers before you really wake up. I guess this is OK, you are still in a twilight state, I do it, but it is like doing isometrics under the blanket, is it optimal?
  3. Driving in your car – Similar to the above point. A lot of people say the Rosary for example on their commute and I think this is good, but for asking for something like love you want to prepare yourself for something great. Make a ritual that can open up your heart.

See prayer is not just about asking, but also preparing your mind to open and transform. If you pray in less optimal situations, our Divine master hears you, but when he sends what you need your way you might not be ready to deal with it. Just be prepared, wild things will happen in your life when you pray.

It does not matter the language of expression of your religious experience when asking.

How to pray for love

Much of my advice is more Jungian than connected with having the Absolute hear our pleas for love and connection to our soul mate. However, because we are human, hence, multidimensional ideas like position and direction and general atmosphere are important.

  1. Positional prayer – Best is to wash your face and brush your teeth or whatever, when you get up or before you go to bed. Make your environment appropriate. You can burn incense but I think that is not needed. Then find a position or posture that works. For example, St. Ignatius preferred to pray on his back. He also felt praying in the direction of Jerusalem was more effective. Muslims might pray towards Mecca. If you say the ‘Our Father’ many like to extend their hand out and palms open to heaven as if to receive God’s healing energy from above. It seems charismatic but who does not feel this energy.
  2. Wish good things on those who have hurt you –  This is clearing your heart. Ask God to forgive or even bless your enemies and wish well on them. Even if you can not have the intention of this. Negativity attaches itself to you. It is like an entity. Ask God to free you from these forgiveness and you can ask this out loud so if these things are real and not just imaginary, they will hear. If a negative thought comes to your brain, mentally say ‘cancel, cancel’.
  3. The root of your blockage from true love – Ask God forgiveness for your sins – This is simple. When I was a bad boy I realized I was blocking out my own happiness. The more I did bad things the further it lead me from my true love. What is your vice? Pride is bad for me. It is the worst as it distances us from God, when we start to self individualize pride often takes over, when we have insecurities. I also had lust, which is actually the least offensive as it is only misdirected or inordinate love. If you are on the web for example looking hours a day of risqué movies, or visiting houses with ‘working girls’ or are a meet artist, this will dissipate your ability to attract real love. On the other hand, if you are too good and do not have a little perverse thoughts you might be perceived by others as too boring. So you do not want to dry the well, just make sure you are using these drives in the right way.
  4. Create atmosphere – If you can, make your own sanctuary in your apartment, life will seem clearer. Some believe scents dissipate negative energies, like Frankincense oil that is blessed and anointed or incense for example.
  5. Deploy holy objects – Icons or Crosses from special places on your body or in your room. If you are Hindu or from India you will have your own set up symbols and objects that not only trigger whistles and bells in your subconscious that are different from Western European but also ones that will also have real tangible effects.
  6. Keep your goodness in secret –  You do not need to get a bumper sticker that says “God powered vehicle” or a t-shirt that says “Yoga” on it. Minimize outward signs of your spirituality. Do not broadcast the fact you do this to your friends you pray like it is the latest fad on Dr. oz you are trying.. Pray in private and close the door. What God sees, when others do not, you will be rewarded.
  7. Beauty, charm and grace – Maybe this is extreme but have style like you are going to an Ibiza disco, but have the patience and calm and humility like you are monk or in the convent. Let people find your through your outward beauty, then you screen them based on their ideals. When I was first courting my wife, I thought she was just some super cordial lady with good style and long legs. Then one day I see her in church. It was a revelation. God would allow me to have someone I was physically attracted to and spiritual. I did not need to compromise in love. I got to know her first because of her beauty, but then wow, she was the girl of my dreams.

You need to wait until the answer reveals itself. This takes patience. The answer will reveal itself to you. However, be watchful against interrupting everything as a sign from above or every person as the great answer to your loneliness. If you do this you will fall prey to players. What you need to do is pray. You do not have to over pray, just ask and live your life and forget about this whole destiny thing for a while (yeah right how can you do this). Just trust in the design of the Divine plan.

  • Above all if you can, go for someone with ideals. I believe having this spiritual element, this component of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs being worked on is perhaps the most important part of being human. I can not imagine my parents who have been married over 65 years together if they did not have a spiritual foundation.
One day, when you least expect it – Love will shine forth like sunshine after rain. This is my promise to you.

Other more tangible ideas about dating an Angel or Godsend

  1. Catholic or Christian dating or Hindu dating or Muslim dating websites – They have the highest percentages of successful marriages. Maybe it is that like-minded people flock together, or something else. Learn from Indian marriages. People can scuff at the traditional Hindu selection process, but with a 99% success rate, I wonder if their consideration of spiritual elements have anything to do with it?
  2. Go to Church, Temple, Mosque, Yoga class – There are a lot of cordial looking normal people in Church. It is not a place to meet girls but rather if you go, when you meet them in the supermarket, you have something to connect about.
  3. Do not give up as God never gives up on you – Just let potential suitors who are not worthy of your hand in marriage drift away. Say that is OK and let them go. Know you will have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince or princess. But once you do you will not even remember those scoundrels.

Praying for specific people only works once there is a connection already, a spiritual connection. If you are alone keep it general. Do not get involved with people who are not idealistic. It will set you back. Screen for ideals early on. Ask probative questions about ideals, vision and values. Do not go out with people who believe in divorce or are nihilistic or cynical about the Absolute.

Awareness for finding love – What people do not know

You need transcendence not another roll in the hay. See there is a physical reality and the ultimate reality. They are interrelated. What you do on the physical plane influences your spirit. What you do on a soul level influences this reality. Like a kid who puts his hand over a flame, he is not aware that the flame can burn him initially. Yet that is the reality. Similarly people deny the influence or are not aware of the influence on the spiritual realm in their live. They get burned in relationships. It is not to say because you have had bad relationships you are doing something bad. I do not believe that. I am just saying learn to work with the laws of the Universe for a more optimal dating experience.

Some people practice the ancient disciple of awareness. you can do this but I again believe it is fine to keep it simple, and pray.

A note on Yoga

When I did Yoga I felt this was one time in my life when my life transformed and opened my heart. After doing Yoga (which means union with the Divine) at a studio, I found myself traveling the world and fearless. I saw very few single girls for long People who practice yoga seem to pair off or find a companion elsewhere. This is just an observation. I wonder to this day what role it played in my life as after years of practice my life did change. It is like an accelerated practice of development.

Does God intervene in the dating process?

God sets up the rules of the universe and does not violate them. He is not a super magician, and that is why I am not a super-naturalist or obsessed with everything being a sign or using new age metaphysical ideas to guide my life, I do not believe it.  Nor is God a Divine clockmaker and set it in motion and steps back.

Rather, the rules of the game allows for Divine intervention, even in dating. It is more like in the game there are variables that are beyond our understanding. Dice if you will.

God not only throws dice with the universe, he sometimes throws them where we are not looking

My point is God plays an active role in your relationship and marital selection process if you allow this to happen through awareness and prayer. It is not like I want this person, and abracadabra hocus pocus that person falls for you and you find yourself a lady friend or groom. Yet, there is a complex stratification of reality. There are elements of free will and concepts beyond the scope of this article, but you can research them yourself or ask my perspective.

What is it like to be alone?


I have a problematic believe in an underworld in the afterlife. I do think that being separated from love is pain. When we do things that bring us further from the Source of love we feel pain.  Eros is analogous to Agape in the sense the lack or feeling this, motivates us to action. Therefore, if you feel alone in your heart it is the Uni-verse calling your to action to connect. take action, and start with some of the ideas I recommend. Prayer and visualization being on the top of that list.

What is holding your back from amour? I keep asking this question to you because it is something. Examine in your life what is holding you back? Your job? Quit you job. I left my career for ten years to chase and marry my wife. I do not regret it for a second. Money comes and goes. Look at all the people who dedicated their lives to their career and got caught with their pants down in the Crisis of ’08 and now are underwater. I did not participate in the boom or the bust because I was too busy being in love. At the end of the decade monetarily I was no worse off for sure. So get over yourself and purse what is important in your life.

People show adulation and incorpulentuation, but what about the real thing

I understand your problem because I lived through it. I know exactly what you mean and feel. Being alone is more painful than any physical pain. And what is worst is is constant. It is not that you can not attract Someone it is that you want someone who will make the moon appear in the sky and the start shine at night.

A lot of single will be attracted to you, but they are really not your prince or princess.  Remember that 2001 film Serendipity – with Kate Beckinsale.

It is finding the right one. Some super cordial girl or guy who turns your world upside down, but has the depth and character you could admire for a lifetime is the real trick. I highly recommend a spiritual practice. It could be prayer, or yoga of visualization, but anything taken seriously will start opening up the universe to change your life.

How long will it take to tunnel out?  – The Count

Seven years – Jesuit Priest

It is too long – The Count

Do you have anything better do to? – Jesuit Priest

– The Count of Monte Cristo

If it takes time to find he love of your life, the person you will grow old with, then it takes time.I know you feel anxiety as when you are lonely problems are amplified, but trust me, once you find your darling sweetheart, time will not matter.

One last metaphor about finding love

Imagine you are entrapped in a castle of ice. You need to start to chip away at the walls and find your way out. On the other side is your prince or princesses waiting in a beautiful green meadow to ride away with you. However, the way out is for you to do the work, that is prayer. Use spiritual weapons to break though these walls. The will come down once you follow my advice. Once you have the vision, pray your way out.


Cure loneliness – 3 reason why good people are alone

I was lonely much of my life and I asked God why. I never got a clear answer until I was married.

Besides the real answer: “I had not meet my wife yet”, there was a more tangible explanation to, why it took so darn long?

Listen up, you may think I have an attitude in my writing but I am doing this to help you find love, not for political correctness. Who am I?  I am your best friend in the world. I was lonely and now I am not. In this post I give you my personal story, but also a formula to transform you from your hermitage to love. Trust me. The reason you are companionless is you have bad style or you have extreme ideas. You do not even know you have extreme ideas and again, and again yes your style is wrong.

You want to walk alone in life, go ahead, but I can tell you being married is more fun.
  • My message is: do not believe nonsense in women’s magazine and books written by PhD clinical psychologists that tell you to get a pet or volunteer at a charity. Yes those are good things, but this will not get you a cordial mate. The reason you are alone is, you have bad style or you are mentally rigid or no feeling of regret. Got it?
These girls think they are dressed well but when you analysis it they do nothing but repel love and attraction.

3 reasons why are good people alone?

  1. Confusing being bad with bad style. – If you are reading this, 100% your style is just wrong. I mean look down at your clothes right now. Can you honestly tell me you look wow, like someone wants to rip your clothes off you in a disco? This is the most important point. I could write a book on style and looks. Perceived physical beauty is so important in mating, honed by one-million years of evolution. Feel abandoned, the good new is you only need to look as far as your closet for the reason.
  2. Not mentally flexible. Men are rigid in their ideas in terms of how girls should behave, and girls are rigid about their instance on materialistic libertine ethics. For example, guys expect girls to be some cross between a Barbie doll and a Saint. Girls expect guys to accept their floosy like past behavior and no regret; yet, want you to be their settle down with homemaker guy.
  3. No other reasons.

The purpose of this post is to explain and illustrate what I mean and give you practical steps to change, based on my personal experience with dating.

Being bad is not the way to go – the ideal way to be to get married

If you are a guy – The way for a guy to get girls is to go is retain your chivalrous ideals of jostling windmills, but dress like you are some gigolo DJ from Ibiza. You want to be a good boy, but when girls look at you the first thing they think is ‘red bed’ and velvet sheets. So lets go and read on, and I will tell you my Divine comedy of errors though the dating process and how I got the girl.

If you are a girl –  Well, if you are a girl you want to be skinny, wear tight jeans, a t-shirt and bridal hair jewelry in your long flowing locks. It is that simple. You do not need a Swarovski crystal hair chain, but trust me, 99% of the girls walking down the street have no chic. Next live a moral life of penance, submission, loyalty and patience or like some alternative earth yoga girl who is peace giving to her man. No guy could resist you.

Girls have to shed the pounds and have some style and they will be married happily ever after.

The normal dating experience vs my painfully solitude

I saw other people enjoying their lives, doing normal things like going to the mall wearing matching t-shirts and holding hands, OK maybe that is not normal, but you know what I mean. They were dating. They were in the game. In contrast, I was not, or at least not in the traditional sense.

I thought I was playing, but in relativity, I was just paying for girls dinners.

You have a social security number. You pay your taxes. And you, help your landlady carry out her garbage. – Matrix

My life was like a well tuned instrument of good habits. I went to church, worked hard and developed my mind and body, going to yoga, working out, traveling and even juicing greens. Yet I was alone. I had friends and family who loved me, a good life. However, at the end of the day, I was single and there was nothing that was going to change that. I did not consider myself a loser, I was making over $100,000 dollars a year, living in Boston’s Beacon Hill, the land of the Brahmins and in phenomenal shape, I was just alone.

Having a relationship with the soft glow of my computer

My computer was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend. I spent hours a day with the glow of my computer. I worked on my computer, played chess on my baby doll, watched movies, even did or at least browse online dating site profiles and maybe even a few risque websites. Basically single people have relationships with my computer. When I turned off my laptop it was like saying good night to a girlfriend. I would roll over and sleep.

I guess times have changed and people now have a relationship with their mobile device now, checking their tablets and cell phones incessantly. But it is the same idea. It is a distraction from the pain of being alone. That is sad.

Pain of life is too hard without love

I longed to be released from it. I wanted to lose it all, my wealth, my estate, my sanity. Most of all, I longed for death. I know that now. I invited it. A release from the pain of living. My invitation was open to anyone. To the at my side. To the pimp that followed. But it was a vampire that accepted it. – Louis

Haven’t we all felt this way? Our soul was very much alive and craved experience, and feeling but we are prisoners in our mortal coils and the Universe is not giving us the one thing that can fulfill us, true love.

As you know, being lonely was more painful than any physical pain I could have imagined. However, now in retrospect I barely remember its intensity. It was like out of some distant dream.

Breakthrough of what I was doing wrong

Do not be too good that you are good for nothing – My Dad

How honest do you want me to be here?

I was a nice guy to shoot the breeze with but I was a loser. I did not risk enough. I was a perfect gentlemen. Girls universally said I was nice and even good looking, but they would be laying on their backs for some dirt bag lowlife loser and latter wonder why their lives were so messed up.

Here is the answer

They had forgotten the first lesson, that we are to be powerful, beautiful, and without regret. – Armand – Interview with a Vampire

You need to be good like a monk, but project a style that girls are a little bit afraid of you because you look like some DJ player inamorato.

What action I took

I realized there was a difference between being good and good looking and friendshiping it up. Even the word ‘good’ has a Platonic feel and little to do with attracting romantic love, which is connected to reproduction. And deeply imbedded in us we want to reproduction or at least practice with a chix.

  • You get a lot of khaki pants wearing guys sporting cookie cutter hair cuts wondering why they do not have love.

My message is get freaky hair the kind that sticks up, straight up. When you are walking down the street women are looking at you like, ‘freak’, but then they are thinking about you.

Do the whole Zen thing and change your life view. Your hair you can slick it down or better yet quite your job. I mean don’t you like some girl who looks a little like a freak in contrast to a cookie cutter female who proclaims: ‘I have to lose 10 lbs’ girl with overly permed hair and stripmall factory outlet clothes.

What I learned about looks from the TV show Survivor

Don’t the people look much better on Survivor living rustic, unshaven and skinny in the wild, then on the last episode they are dressed in normal clothes with tons of make up including Jeff Probst?

Attitude determines altitude with dating

You have to change your look and attitude. I am not telling you to be some low life amoral scum. These guys get women, but do you want the women they get? If you are going to play the game, play to win. Take the high ground and play it better than any tattooed up hipster player.

Attractive is better than being good looking and the ideas are interdependent but not necessarily inter related.

My story on changing my look – Wear a costume from the past if you have to but do not be cookie cutter

So one dark winter Friday after work, sometime around the solstice when all hope is lost a light went off in my brain. I got in my car and drove from Boston to Montreal, Canada. My lifelong friend George, came up for the ride. He stayed inside reading a western novel and I went shopping like a teenage girl who just sneaked money out of her daddy’s petty cash box. I bought trendy freaky clothes, and for little money.

You do not have to dress like a goth, just radically different from the average guy, a cavalier. I wear a vest for example, you can go the elegant road, but wear clothes that are not the cookie cutter cargo shorts, t-shirt and khakis. Be elegant or skin-tight paths. Wear a costume from 19th century London with the black top hat and all, it does not matter. Just stand out. Yes be a freak in the way that is connected to your lothario archetype.

I got a cool haircut at a French stylish salon, on StLaurent boulevard in the French quarter. Basically I made myself attractive and stand out. I believe everyone can be an eight if they want to, everyone. So can you.

Smile, style and skinny the three S words that attract love – my wife.

The next step is I pulled out all stops with girls and dropped American girls like a bad habit gets old and the girls next door get recycled too many times. I was a totally out there. I did not even waste my time on American girls as they were too easy, boring or flake out queens. They would always leave you feeling empty not matter how many you (fill in the blank).

So you think your a Super lover but what about the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day?

See even if you are some kind of super hero lover you can spend what maybe 7 to 14 hours a week doing the bad thing. The rest of the time you are going to have to put up with their typical materialistic head-games and power struggles. So I thought out of the box and traveled the world not seeking action but romance. It is a different idea.

I skipped North America and all the neurotic girls in therapy and counseling and went to more normal places like in South America or Europe. After having a woman in every port and when the taste of a life of excess became tasteless. I realized I was bad.

I’ve come to answer your prayers. Life has no meaning anymore, does it? The wine has no taste, food sickens you and there seems no reason for any of it. – Lestat the Vampire

Learn from Mr. Spock about making the wrong choices

To use a metaphor to illustrate. Do you remember Spock in the Episode #60 called Operation – Annihilate, of the Original Star trek? He had the right idea that light would destroy the alien creatures and he went blind trying. But latter they realized he did not have to through the full spectrum of light at them. Analogously, you do not have to be totally bad and lose part of your soul and ideals to achieve your objective. Instead you can just be bad in style and attitude. That is more effective them being bad.

If you are of either gender, or trying to attract either gender for a serious relationship, you want to look on the edge, but be ultimately good. You can not let your new-found prowlness to be used for having physical relations or it will dissipate your juice.

My problem with having good style but bad actions

The problem with being bad was I could not turn it off. It was like a door I opened without being able to close it. It just kept blowing open.

I now had the power by going to the dark side yet, I had no reason to look for salvation. I felt I could have any woman and the ones I could not were not even a speck on my radar.

When I had this much power amassed, I was further than ever from meeting my wife as the universe was karmically preventing this from happening.

What happened next. I tried to change my way with a sincere heart but kept my cool style, attitude and appetite for European girls.

My point if you can look bad but be good. I wish I learned this earlier as I regret everything I ever did to hurt any girlfriend. I wish I had a time machine and could just keep the style without the bad action, and this is what I recommend you do because many of my friends ended up knocking up the wrong girl.

I may have rescued her in the most romantic idealistic vision, but she did something greater, she saved me from myself – Mark Biernat (admin).

It was like out of the Divine comedy. I had to go thought a purgatory.

The most important point – good men push girls away because they are mentally rigid

Girls can perceive it when guys are judgmental or rule driven and rigid. It is a big turn off this rigidity. Yes girls want to be submissive to their man, but they do not want to be controlled by some external moral judgment or guilt.

This means you are pushing girls away because you think too highly of yourself. Like the Bible says, ‘let the person who has not sin cast the first stone.’

This is not idealism is is pride.

Go for a super cordial chix that has ideals, not a saint who has lived in a convent. I mean you can try but your self-righteousness will lead you to lonesomeness, and your seed will be forever wiped from this earth because you did not give yourself the chance to be fruitful and multiply. Go and save some Cinderella and stop pleasuring yourself in front of your computer.

  • How do you not know that some girl working the hotel lobbies of Dubai or Moscow is not on some parallel plane a princess waiting for her prince. Watch the TV show Once upon a Time. Similarly, there are many good apples that once married go down the Revolutionary Road.
  • My message is look at what is a girl’s heart not her current right now situation.
This is me the Admin. Now that I am married and 50ish my style is not longer Ibiza DJ but more relaxed and elegant.

Being alone is not what God wants of you. Your singlehood is more immoral than anything you could do with some ‘working girl’. That is the true. God gives you a life and wants you to connect with others, fall in love and have a family. Better to marry a ‘working girl’ who has ideals than be alone with your drinking buddies or a serial relationship player or some weird philosopher hermit eating garlic and other herbal cures to try to extend your life.

Girls it is better you emulate a 1960s housewife in a polka dot dress in a crown braid, who meets her husband at the door with a kiss than be a professional woman alone or on her path to single motherhood.

That is the way I see it. Being married and staying married is a state of bliss.


Visualization to attract a girl and make her love you

Get women with your imagination

Laying in bed and dreaming up a beautiful woman who becomes real

One of the most powerful ways to get girls is simply laying in bed and using your imagination. Wow wouldn’t that be great, to be able to simply conjure up a girlfriend. And not only a date mind you, the one who is from your dreams and the unspoken prayers of your heart?

Use visualization in a general sense, not specific to find the girl of your dreams. use my techniques outline below as tips and I can almost promise you will get results.

Does it sound like some hocus pocus? Think again. The purpose of this post is to honestly examine non-conventional techniques for attracting girls. This is based on my personal experience. It is my sincere hope, these ideas will benefit you. Before you put on your skeptical inquire hat, just consider this. I found the love of my life and she was more than I ever could have imagined.

My wife on an ordinary day, nothing fancy, just out shopping for groceries. I dreamed her and found her. I recommend you try finding your soul-mate this way if dating is not working.

You deserve to create the reality you want in your life. If you do not feel you are worthy or deserve this or feel you are beyond hope, or that stuff does not work, I invite you to read on.

Imagination is where the Divine resides – Fr. Gene

I did it. I had this fantasy about that beautiful dark hair, thin Gothic princesses from Eastern Europe in a beautiful medieval town. I created this fantasy. And now I live it.

In your pursuit of your sweetheart, I ask you to consider my ideas.

Develop a story a fairy-tale a fantasy for this girl to appear in.

The genesis of my fantasy girl and yours

I do not know exactly how my beautiful wife fantasy started. Perhaps I played too many RPG games or read too much Tolkien or escaped from the hard realities of my life throw historical fantasies of my boyhood youth. In the end, I would say that my spirituality and idealism that really shaped my image of her. This middle ages romantic princess was my fantasy girl. I just needed to find her.

You have to ask yourself, what does your fantasy wife look like? How do you see her in your imagination? Now your fantasy girl will look different based on the mythology that feed your subconscious in your youth.

The delusion of “I want a girl” vs. using “visualization to get a girlfriend”

Hey, we all want to marry a cordial girl. But see many people today are deluded that just because they want something, they will get it. Just by saying “I want a lady friend” or I want this specific girl, the universe will send it to you. It does not work that way. It is a modern New Age mythology circulating because some charlatan wrote a book on this idea.

In my experience this is analogous to saying I want a house vs. imagining a house and creating the plans, then building it. The former is just a wish. The latter uses the power of your imagination to motivate you to take concrete steps of action. However, it does one more thing, mental imagery also talks to the universe to help you in your plans.

Look, I am an armchair master of esoteric techniques. Most do not work, but some do. If you want something that will get your courting, try visualization.Look guys, you want a cordial skinny wife that does not hassle you, you have to start asking the Universe.

A note on: Technology ADD vs. the power of the imagination

Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. – Darth Vader

Before you dismiss this post as just another crackpot metaphysical laws of attraction new age idea, and go back to checking (and paying for) your cell phone for text messages from girls that never turn out to be all that, listen to my advice. Take a step back from updating your Facebook, online dating and incessant mobile phone SMS-ing and consider finding a girl the old fashion way, though the power of your imagination.

Behind the veil of this illusionary world is a real girl waiting for you. Try to discover her. It is like she is behind a wall and with the power of your imagination you find what is hidden behind the wall.

The power of technology and tools for dating, is nothing compared to your imagination and connection with the Divine. With faith you can say to the mountains. You do not even need a lot of faith, perhaps just as small as a mustard seed.

  • If you have not moved a mountain in your life with prayer, you are swindling yourself out of your own happiness on this earth.

What really works to get a girl -Try visualization and prayer

  • Nothing is more powerful on this planet than prayer and visualization.

You do not have to change your religion or do anything that violates your ideals. I do not care if you are Muslim or Born Again Christian or Hindu, or some know it all hipster wallowing in an existential malaise, it is all good. Religion is the language we express our connection to the Divine. We all have a spark of the Divine, even if we do not see it in ourselves.

I have found in my life the answers do not come analysis things incessantly, but by doing. So first commit yourself to visualization and prayer and watch your world change romantically.

Forget complex religious ideas and rules or pseudo mystical notions or even ideas like law of attraction. Do not worry too much about Karma as charity covers a multitude of sins and true awareness and a change of heart will cancel out your failings in an instant. Focus on the positive. Do not worry about your past, start living your dream today.

He understood that modeling the incoherent and vertiginous matter of which dreams are composed was the most difficult task that a man could undertake – Circular Ruins – Jorge Luis Borges (Nobel Prize winner).

The Universe will give you only as much as you are willing to give yourself.

Visualization is work, in fact thinking in general is hard work that is why so few people do it. My message to you is this, take the time to visualize and pray. Meditation is too hard for me. I am steeped in western tradition. If you can mediate, more power to you, but I recommend a simple formula of visualization and prayer.

17 visualize love tips

  1. Fairy-tale technique – As you drift to sleep visualize your dream girl. Not a girl you know, but your general outline or shape or characteristic of a girl you might love. See her in a fantasy, a castle or field or beach, or a naturalistic landscape or cityscape. Have escapes and fantasies with her where you are saving her, doing her good or acting our some positive storyline fay-tale. If your fantasy is just of a libidinous nature it will not work. You have to be engaging this girl in a high-minded storyline.
  2. Pink balloon technique – As you drift to sleep, imagine a pink balloon (represents love) and put your intentions in this balloon. Let it go and allow it to drift around the universe to collect energy and fall asleep. This is all you need do to.
  3. Verbal visualization – simply choose a word like “love” or “wife” and repeat it as your drift to sleep and with time the universe will manifest this for you.
  4. Music for inducing visualization – I recommend Loreena Mckennitt or Enya. I know these are cliché but these ladies spend a lot of time thinking about their music and its connection with the other worldly. Ironically both are single or not married; for reasons that are basically connected to they are doing a divine mission on earth.
  5. Third Eye – See the girl of your dreams, in the spot in the center of your lower forehead.
  6. Imagine streaming – This is not as much for finding your love but observing the future and clues. Ask your imagine stream, read up on this technique on Win Wenger’s website about imagine streaming and using the mind to see the future a bit.
  7. Doorway technique – You imagine your self on one side of a door. You see the door in detail and experience yourself there. You open the door and meet your other half.
  8. Stairway induction – Using going down stairs in your imagination to help you relax.
  9. Beautiful garden – I like a forest some people use a garden it could also be on an island or beach.
  10. Purifying your body – Barrie Konicov used an orange-colored liquid to imagine your body as a container filling and emptying.
  11. Imaging yourself in an ancient civilization with your girl – For example imagine you are laying on a stone table with a sheet and a girl comes out in a toga and circles around you while incense is burning with candles illuminating. Allow her to heal you.
  12. Pranic love – Pranic healing was developed by Master Choa Kok Sui, basically using chakras to heal. Imagine the heart chakras of you and a girl meeting and connecting. Most people use pink energy some people use green. It is better to use colors that are on the lighter side or white energy if you are unsure. You could also use various chakras but start with the heart for obvious reasons.
  13. Using MP3s for love and seduction – I would recommend Kelly Howell MP3s, I have thought of making my own but for now hers are good as they use practical application or brainwaves and binaural beats combined with a sweet female voice. You can also get a lot of good ones for free off of YouTube.
  14. Create an atmosphere or temple in a room  –  Sure use candles and incense (not cheap but natural) music anything you like to help you visualize, it is all good.
  15. Your own creative visualization – Use your creativity to develop your own ways to visualize and call the love of your life. Imagine you connecting with her on a high level. Use the language and imagines that speak to you.

If you have more please add them.

Let God be a partner in choosing your mate. Instead of seeing some pretty girl and say I want this girl, as God generally. If you are not getting results examine your life and what is holding you back. I am certain that everyone can have a life partner.

For me the first three are the best, that is verbal visualization, the pink balloon and the fairy-tale princess methods are the best. You do not have to get into the quantum of mental projection. Just use simple ideas for seeing  in your mind’s eye.

With this visualization if you couple it with prayer, it does not have to be the same time, it could be another time during the day the effects are more powerful.

Books I recommend regarding transformation with your mind

Basically any of these books will tell you want I have already written, however, it is good to have a few books by your nightstand to firm up the ideas.

I like older books as they are not written with so much hype, even Ignatian exercises – the Spiritual exercises by Ignatius of Loyola from the 16th century Spain written by a musketeers and playboy whose life took an odd turn.

What I recommend is meet two books: Power of the Subconscious Mind and Creative Visualization. Although the books are a little dated the ideas are much more effective. I think the issue with remote seduction is it is too specific. It is like in Borges story Circular Ruins about a man who created a boy with his imagination, in specific detail. The subconscious mind works mostly in a metaphorical language and general not specific.

Some people like Eastern mysticism like  Vajrayana Buddhism, I am more steeped in western Gnostic tradition. That is hidden knowledge that needs to be revealed almost platonic but through mystical experience rather than rational thought.

The bottom-line is, you do not want to imagine yourself bedding some lady you like, that is nothing more than a fantasy.

Better is to deploy some general beacons to the universe.

The main idea here is as you drift to sleep, you want to either imagine in a balloon (pink seems to be effective) your heart’s desire. And let this go. There is nothing more to do. It floats around the universe collecting energy from to bring it into reality.

Is visualization new age? No. Read Norman Vincent Peale book on Positive Imagining.

When your ship sails in there is little you can do to stop it. Prepare your inner world for the transformation that will happen outside you.

Use your imagination to get a girlfriend – But first look at guys

Your goal is to capture a cordial girl and lock her down via engagement/putting a ring on her figure. Then get married, intimate have a family before she knows what hit her. But to get there you want to increase the odds by doing some simple things about your look. Everyone can be an 8 if they try.

Emulating a look – What you need to do first before we dive into the world of the metaphysical dating is something a bit more concrete and practical. Go on YouTube and watch some videos of cool guys that know about style. I am not talking about some Italiano manboy model that has no bearing to the real world. Instead consider DJs and others that know style generally, you actually might see on the street. Find stylish guys that fit your sense of fashion and try to approximate it. You can watch some pretty boy models but only use them as a conceptual framework, then bring it down to reality.

I think hair spiked up a little, a bit of well-groomed facial hair and tight-fitting shirts and accessories. However, if you are rough macho looking consider a more preppy look. Newsflash – clothes are important to girls, more important than money or job title. A clean, trendy guy will never had trouble with ladys.

What is the purpose of watching guys? – Watching and studying your own gender is basically a ladys method. It is so cliché that girls look at girls more than guys it is not worth mentioning. So learn a lesson from the ladys. But they do not know how to take it to the next level. That is fully engage the power of their imagination to bring it home.

Pray your way out of any situation to a better reality. It works for me.

You want to develop a 3D archetypical holographic image of yourself in your third eye in the center of your forehead). When you focus on this you body will start to respond (with the computer and mobile phone off).

Does remote seduction work?

God thank you for all my unanswered wishes for specific girls

Attracting a girl with remote seduction is a fantasy, real love is done with serious positive visualization.

I will lay all the cards on the table, remote seduction does not work. See remote seduction is more connected with a specific girl. Attracting a specific girl in my experience does not work. You have to charm her and get her to fall in love with you and then ask God to guide you if you should marry her. However, remote seduction using things like ‘the fireball’ technique etc, to make a girl fall in love with you is magical thinking or a cognitive illusion. It is too specific. The Universe for me has not granted be specific things, but rather guided me generally.

My early experiences with remote psychic seduction mediation nonsense

During early adolescence I had a crush on my best friends sister. Along with my other childhood friend Scott, we theorizes that we could increase the odds of having her like us, if we practiced visualization techniques, what is today called remote seduction.

If you are not romantic, start trying.

As I got more desperate with women I tried mind techniques multiple times, trying to perfect them and vary them. Nothing worked. In fact, It could have had the a slightly reverse effect. I would smile at the girl I had been targeting with remote seduction and they would giggle and walk away. Not the good giggle, like this guy is so cordial, but more this guy is such a geek giggle.

Remote seduction is about targeting the object of your affection with mental imagines in your mind’s eye. Would that not be great is this really worked? Imagine the possible. For me it never did. The universe does not work like that, for a reason.

I do not think it is magical thinking or supernatural, rather more a pseudo science half truth. But for me it seems to work.

  • What does work to get your fair maiden? Prayer and visualization.

An answer to the skeptics about using visualization to help your dating

Technology aside how does reality look for you?

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. – Shakespeare

I am a cohesive skeptic and love reading the skeptical inquirer and the ideas of the free thought society. I am not a super-naturalism and believe in nothing of that sort, and even believe quantum physics and Brownian motion is more about observability. Yet in my own experiences and most likely yours, ideas like Karma, Prayer and the power of the subconscious, seems to work in ways we do not understand.


God does not play dice with the universe – Einstein

God sets up the rules of the game and does not violate his constructs.


God not only plays dice with the universe, he sometimes throws them in places we are not looking.

What has been your experience in life?

For get the smoke filled single’s bars like above, and consider the real power of using dipping into the collective unconsciousness and touching your future lady friend.

I think for any aware human being the answer is obvious.

Still need some more inspiration.

What scientific proof do I have?

God is the objective operating in the subjective – Hans Kung

If you have come looking for some concrete method of imagineering that would dazzle the long-term crank and skeptic the Amazing Randi, you will not find it.


God sets up the rules of the game but does not violate them.

Just because you are not aware of all the rules of the Universe does not mean it is not valid. Further just because there are rules in the game, it does not mean there are not dice also. We are strains of energy between heaven and earth. Somewhere deep in your heart you know this. Even this most harden cynic can not answer the question about why we are something and not nothing, why is there anything at all. Maybe there is more to the universe than meets the eye. I invite anyone to counter this.

Eventually some random girl will just appear out of nowhere and she will be your destiny, not planned. There is no way you can predict or foresee these things. It will just happen.

Getting back to dating

What does this have to do wooing and coquetting with ladys? Everything.

The dating part is up to you, but to stack the odds on your side: relax and do some guided or unguided visualization and ask God to help you find the love of your life.


How to write a dating site profile – That gets few replies

The purpose of this post is to tell you how to write a personal ad, that will not get a lot of responses, but will get you the response you are looking for. Is not one Snow White princess enough for you?

Writing a profile has nothing to do with being honest about career or interests or hobbies or income. This is in a word ‘booor- ring’.

My eyes glaze over when I read a profile that has income requirements between $50,000 to $100,000, demographically 0-4 years apart, 0-25 miles distance from your zip code, and interests listed as: “I like drinking wine on the beach and sushi”. I think what a superficial yuppie.

This commoners approach finding love online. You will attract nothing greater than an American girl who has high expectations in terms of money, will bad mouth you to her friends and leave you after a few arguments and try to rule over you. You will have to tolerate her weekly girl’s night out where she is flirting with some waiter and walks a half a step in front of you in public. Am I wrong?

Online you can meet a lot of girls and be a serial monogamous, but you do not want that. What you want is your one and only.

Sure maybe they spruce it up their amalgamation with adjectives like ‘compassionate and exciting’. But what the deuce? That does not win my heart, as every dating site profile out there is loaded with superlatives and a quint little list of hobbies.

Be warned, many dating sites upload millions of fake profiles via some php script have these exact type of adjective rich words. Most people can not tell the real ones from the computer generated dating site profiles. You do not want your profile or the ones your dates to be barely distinguishable from a computer generated algorithm from a dating site script generating profiles.

You want one cute girl not many, you do not want to be a player. This is aphotoof my sister-in-law.

What are you to do?

Here is what you need to do:

  • You need to paint a picture with your words. Not just any picture mind you, but a romantic picture, a picture that touches the dreams and the unspoken prayers of a girl’s heart.

Instead of something like:

Confident professional enjoys, sports, meeting friends seeking attractive girl over 5’6” with some college, enjoys occasional drinks, Dr. House.

Shouldn’t it be a little more like this:

Errand knight seeks towered damsel. Enjoys storming, castles, rescuing princesses, enchanted forest walks.

Too many females to pick from. My advice is go for one princess not a broad struck of the brush and just hope it works. Write your ad specific not general.


Keep it simple, that is all you might need. You could come up with an infinite number of variations depending who you are.

Resources to help you write a dating site profile to get you a girlfriend

What if you have no talent with writing? Check out these resources at your library or online:

  • A Romance writers phrase book – Jean Slater Kent
  • Heroes &Heroines – Tami Cowden
  • Image Streaming by Win Wenger you can see his website – for stimulating creativity.
  • On Writing well – William Zinsser
  • Rory’s Story Cubes – If you are really stuck.

Between your own imagination and weaving some phrases in you can come up with something that will make a girl desperate for you, at least initially until she meets you. Then it is up to you.

The new alpha male is a creative male not a brute.

How to make a girl desperate for you

A pictures in words instead of pixels conveys a story about your life journey which corresponds to your analogous archetypical equivalent. With an economy of words and a profile written in this style it will inspire a female to reply that is for you. Written in loftiness and sincerity, that if you shoot for the moon and fail, you will end up in this stars. Sound abstract? It works.

It will sing a language to your archetypical counter part she will hear and respond to like sailors not able to resist the voice of Ancient Greek sirens. Instead this time you will have the edge and femme corpulentale so to speak, will be you. They will not be able to resist and be desperate for you.

Think about it, as much as men are turned on by seeing a female shape, analogously, when women reads lofty worded romance novels and talk about relationships, her pupils dilate with arousal.

The problem is you can not chat up a girl when she is browsing profiles. Therefore, you need to paint a picture with words in your profile.

My wife is the only one I want.

Dating advice to be leery of

Women’s dating advice tends to be lame

Completely ignore the cliché advice from girls on how to meet girls, that is ‘just be honest’ such nonsense is woman-speak. Women give guys (and each other) notoriously lame relationships advice. It is up to the man to be the ‘captain of the ship’ and turn their females theories upside down by sweeping them off their feet so when you have arrive they quiver and feel confused and in love. Take no prisoners. Write a dating site profile to win her heart, not some generic profile that could almost be machine generated.

The real female brain

While men are turned on by direct visual stimulation such as a shapely female, women are won by words and visual imagination. It is just the way mating works. Women want to know the men have enough brains to think creatively. There has been a paradigm shift the new alpha males have brains not brawn. Well crafted words on a dating profile is like a girl who has an a super model face and a catwalk body for a lady. You write a poor profile description, it is like a girl posting aphotowhich portrays BBW and materialistic.

Commonality of interests are over rated

If the lady is cordial and does not hassle you do you really care about the minor things like what show you are going to watch on Wednesday night. You will learn to like each others interests if you look at life in the same way. You will teach each other about different hobbies you each pursue. Do not weigh common interests as an important factor in mate section. Common moral values are important (the root of self individualization), cordialness is important (Deep seated evolutionary biology), but sharing your interest in surfing and hers in cooking much to do about nothing.

From visual to the power of myth in dating – How to bring your profile to the next level

Visual brain

Through one million years of evolution, our brains have become largely visual, arguably the most important sense.

Even if you were to go be submerged in a sensory deprivation tank you would start to seen images. For me that is visual. Your brains can not shut down visual processes.

Language is an abstraction

When man first became aware he was alone in the universe and let out the first primordial scream from this existential loneliness, grunts and pointing became inadequate for expression. Sounds started to represent abstract ideas, feelings. When you say you like watching ‘The Big Bang Theory’ (I like this show too), it is still like pointing and grunting. There is little abstractions which speaks to a deeper level. Learn to write using metaphors and analogies. They are like paint brushes of the mind.

You want to reach deep into their collective unconsciousness of the culture you live and reach for an archetypical. An image rich in metaphors that reach down into someone’s brain so they enter a different realm in their imagination.

Painting allegorical imagines with words are the key to origin a dating site profile because people are looking for transcendence.

Do not say you ‘enjoy reading’, instead say ‘you are sea-captain who has seen the vanity of the world and returning to Northanger Abbey to look for his Anne Elliot’

What is real

The power of myth, the unspoken longings of your heart, the prayers you do not dare to tell others, that is you are lonely and desperate for love. The strong pull of the unconscious that overrides career or self-absorbed ego feeding activated. That is the desire for real love. If you do not admit this,, you have serious physiological problems. Even the most criminals doing hard time for bank jobs, want this.

On a retreat I have seen stone faced harden Eastern European coal minors break down in tears when it comes to love.

So stop playing games with yourself and admit that you need love. We all want this. And to get love paint a picture with words.

Women are verbal men are visual marry these two worlds.

What is archetypal dating?

Forget all this Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessments and ideas recycled in physiology today, simply ask yourself what fantasy dreamy visionary archetype you connect to. What are your dreams?

To find a soul-mate, you need to connect at a soul level. You are not going to do with listing adjectives or cutesy sassy descriptive verbiage. You need to be radical in your authenticity and metaphorical in your profile.

What will be the effect of a metaphorical dating site profile

The net effect if you will have few to no replies. But this is actually a good thing. We are all different and by creating an unusual profile will limit the replies to only qualified suitors.

No matter how desperate you are, you do not want to have just someone. You want to have the one. Or else you will be swindling your other half out of the happiness of being with you for eternity. And you would not want to do that now would you?


Why people choose the wrong wife or husband

Marriage is a trap only if you ignore the two rules for marriage

If you get married or fall in love with the wrong person heaven help you. It is a purgatory that requires a high emotional price to escape from. Some argue there is no exit, only in their spirit of Camus or Sartre, existential defiance. In fact Sartre wrote a book called No Exit and Camus the Myth of Sisyphus (both recommend quick reads).

However, you you can find an example in American TV fantasy culture regarding marrying or dating the wrong person. Just watch the TV show Once upon a time and the relationship between Prince Charming and Mary-Margret. Misdirected love spins a sticky web.

  • The purpose of this post if to give you two rules of thumb for choosing the right life partner as your husband or wife.
Find a beautiful and idealistic wife. Then you can live your fairy-tale. My wife on the magically beautiful island where we live.

Why the right mate is so important

Who you marry and mate with is the most important choice in your life. Actually it is the only choice that really matters in life. What you do in terms of marriage will echo through eternity. The seeds that sprout from mating will influence the world, hopefully to the end of the world.

That is your wife will determine your children and hopefully your children’s children and generations far into the future, long after we are all gone. So choose your wife right.

Did I scare you? I did not mean to. I am just saying that romantic love brings people together that never should be brought together. The following metaphor will clarify things a bit.

Good looking girls are a dime a dozen, but to find a woman with a Jane Austen sense and sensibility that is the real trick.

Useful relationship metaphor

Each person is a cloth or pattern, make sure you match with the cloth you are dating or weaving with so to speak or the tearing apart will be hard.

Imagine weaving one cloth which is black and white pin strips to another cloth that is a colorful plaid. They just do not match. And each moment you spend with a girl it is like you are a new stitch when you are weaving two clothes or patterns together. If you spend a lot of time with the wrong person, when you need to rip apart and start again it is costly.

So choose the right mate.

The only two things that are important in mate selection

Looks first

My answer is easy. Each person will find a different solution to their life. However, the first rule of thumb is I recommend is find a super cordial lady. Someone physically you can not resist.

They have to be attractive for you, not anyone else, that is the magic of love.

Base the physical aspect on something you are obsessed with. Something on a primal primordial level you can not control. Me, I like long legs on a girl a girl and a classic Roman nose, not the little English turned up nose. I have a wife with long legs, this makes me happy. Does this sound superficial? It is one million years of evolution. My genetic code is attracted to her genetic code. DNA dating the natural way.

Other guys like girls that large cupcakes, the bigger the better and females under a certain size they feel sorry for (I personally never understood this). Some guys like round girls others watchtower. Basically you have to find what does it for you.

For example, I am blond, but my wife although she is Polish is so dark she looks Arab or Indian in the summer. Since I live on the beach where we have an endless summer, I basically married an Indian girl. Genes like to mix up for evolutionary reasons we do not understand, and out subconscious and libidinal mind gives suggestions to frontal lobe.

Find what does it for you, because you do not want to cheat or look at other girls once you are married. So find the one that blows you away and gets you thinking the most dirty things.

Second –  Morals the girls

It amazes me that people choose mates based on anything but looks and morals. Looks and morals are the only things that matter.

Find someone that believes with all their heart in fairy-tales and goodness.

If you want to understand someone ask yourself what is their nature – Marcus Aurelius

How is this not clear?

I am the director for a Luxury hotel and I have seen an inordinate amount of heart breaks and loneliness in my hotel. Every person I chatted with in this situation had a a partner who had some moral defect. I asked them, ‘why did you date or marry them’? Did you not consider morals and high ideals during the courtship process?

My day job is, I run a large resort hotel and meet scores of people everyday. Often the guest in my hotel have heartaches and are lonely.  I ask them why they did not consider the morals of their partner before getting involved with them. They cite reasons like ‘he was a rich guy or she seemed nice’. These are poor answers. Do not be like one of the guests coming through my hotel broken-hearted, staying in luxury but alone. Consider morals as half of the love equation.

If I were to choose one virtue it would be humility.

Only marry someone with humility. Ideally a humble girl, lawfully ideal based and non materialism.

Humility – Find a girl who does not care about money or power or titles or positions or anything. In fact find a girl who might even not feel good about herself. She only cares about doing good in the world.

Find a girl who is lawfully idealistic. This girl will always be on your side and by your side.

Some girls are fickle and will leave their husbands over pride or even trivial things after an argument. Yet, other girls will stick by their man even if in prison.

What I mean by that is find a girl who does not believe in divorce. I do not nor does my wife, it is that simple we are stuck with each other. Someone who believes in good and bad. Not someone who is generally spiritual and bends the rules where it is convenient.

I know a lot of girls who are ‘spiritual’ and have new age candles by their bed but also a package of ‘protection’ by their nightstand in case they meet that random guy online or the club.

I know girls that love their cats but will have little problem terminating an unborn if it is inconvenient.

Or girls that say I am spiritual, but if a marriage is stressful, they have a war party with their friends where they are all affirming each others and nodding their heads like on an afternoon talk show and they determine it is better to just leave. What a lame form of spirituality.

Instead why not find a girl who will be with you for better or worse? Girls will often say ‘he is sick, he has real psychological problems. But are not the vows also ‘in sickness and in health’?

Find someone who understands right and wrong in a concrete sense.

Find a girl who does not care about money. I am an unrepentant capitalist, yet I understand that money is the root of all evil if factored in any way in a relationship. At the first sign of a girl that wants love and money or love and career run and hide.

Finding someone with shared interests is over rated in Western dating. There are a million cool and hip girls that like to do things like ride bikes and eat sushi. Find someone whose ideals are so in the clouds they belong in a different time (century) and place.

What about interests and hobbies and school?

Never confuse school with your education – Mark Twain.

One of the biggest turn offs are people who are self impressed. They feel in someway their career or academic performance means something. It does not. It only is something that might trip their ego up and pride might creep in.

Better is find someone who is sophisticated to your level, but does not care about formal societal measures and laurels.

It does not really matter their education and interests. Once you spend time together you develop mutual interests. You teach each other and grow together. Ironically dating and many other dating sites are based on hobbies and mutual interests and ‘tell me about yourself’. This does not matter. All that matters in marriage partner selection is looks and morals.

What about all the divorces and broken marriages?

Listen to my advice – today is the start of a new way to see the world. Maybe you yourself have gone through the breakup of a marriage, but that was before you heard my advice. Your spouse is your destiny, but you have a choice.

The girl to marry

Here it is: Only consider a super cordial lady who is humble, not materialistic, younger than you, will not have a hyphenated name or keep their old name, does not care about career (preferable poor), will cook and clean without question, wants to have children, does not go out with friend or not that often, believes in the Bible. Basically you want to marry a girl who is like a leggy Russian model from Moscow, yet has the ideals of an Amish girl from Pennsylvania Dutch country.

Got it?

Sound oppressive for the female? On the contrary, most women want to jettison the artificial constructs weaved in their brain by modern materialistic society. They want to have a family and give their children the magical childhood experience they had growing up, with Mom at home and Dad loving Mom.

Vision of a happy family

  • The white picket fence and the family trips to the Zoo, silly Ketchup fights in the in kitchen and picnics in the back yard where the paper plates and napkins blow away.
  • Girl with a vintage 1940s hairstyle, a black and white polka dot dress and a light pastel tennis sweater.

I would not trade this for anything in the world, trust me.

What if there was a messed up childhood. The greatest way you can honor your parents is not replicate their mistakes.

My message is just because society is telling you up is down and down is up, you do not have to live it. Live a fairy-tale romance, I do and anything else in this world pales in comparison.

  • Follow the two rules for finding the right lady friend or fiancé.

Marry an ordinary girl

Normal, ordinary women are so cordial. Is there anyone that will dispute this? You want a normal girl for a wife.

Do not be mislead by feminism that as destroyed the dating scene in the USA Nor the false light of economic security, that during the great recession has proven to be the biggest house of sand.

If you want to know where to find a girl to be your wife and lady friend,  it is easy, open your mind and read my website or ask me. I have hundreds of ideas and specific facts on where to go, such as free dating websites or countries to travel to, on a shoe string to find your other half. I found my extraordinary ordinary girl and so can you.

My normal girl makes my home peaceful and sweet like out of a Thomas Kinkade fantasy life.

List of women you do not want to marry

  1. High powered career women – you will find yourself getting your hand slapped when you reach into the cookie jar. If girls strive for power at work they will try to dominate at home and your testosterone levels will decrease. I believe people are who they are and do not change magically when they walk in the door from work. If they are tigers and sharks at work there is a consistency of values and this will extend to their personal lives, unless they live by some idealist code of ethics to temper this.
  2. American women who think they are career women  – but are really pushing paper in marketing, or HR. If you marry them the benefit of their modest salaries will be fully absorbed by excessive consumption and your children will be in some daycare somewhere and not experiencing the most important and precious years of life with their mommy. I loved that my mother was there for me.  There will be ego issue involved also and battles at home that are about defusing work stress. I am not against women and careers at all. I am saying for a guy to choose a lady friend know where her priories are.And the same advice goes for women seeking a husband.
  3. Actresses –  Or anyone in any high-profile position. Power corrupts. I have no idea why guys and girls are gaga over high-profile people from athletics to movie stars or flashy business people, to anyone in the news or limelight.  If you fall for a noteworthy person there will be a high flight factor and inordinate  chances of a divorce, and nobody wants that.
  4. Female lawyers –  Real Estate layers are fine, but any women who does ‘family law’ the new euphemism for divorce lawyer should be avoided. These women promote the break up of marriage and make their living off of it. This is not what the Bible or Church teaches as moral.
  5. Female Doctors and PhDs – Sometimes marrying a female doctor is good because they are compassionate, however, others are all about being a Doctor and have told me they can only marry a doctor, which is ironic because Male doctors go for beauties more than brains in my observation. Intellectual pursuits are good when tempered with humility and knowing that we all add up to 100%. No one is smarter or better than another. If you choose to jump through hoops as defined by society as honorable, do it for your own intellectual satisfaction or else your ego will inflate and pride comes before the fall.

Enter the ordinary girl

My ordinary wife who is humble loyal and beautiful. Remember: happy wife, happy life. You do not need materialistic drama or materialistic nihilists to bring you down, no matter what their status in society is. Marry a normal girl with a good heart.

My wife’s father  has always describe his daughter as ‘just an ordinary girl’. He tells everyone ‘oh she is just an ordinary girl’.   That is, nothing special. He loves his daughter with all his heart, however, the comment was more like nothing as defined by society like a corporate lawyer. Guys listen up, you want to marry an ordinary girl.

My the ordinary girl is extraordinary. She Speaks English and Polish and also learned German and French (paid for lessons on her own with her salary of 300 a month living on Ramen noodles but it was more important to learn). Oh she has a Master’s degree and some medical school. She has travelled through Europe, Africa and Asia with me. She lives with me on a tropical island and has her own website she runs and raises our daughter.

I think she is beautiful and no ordinary girl. She is a great cook, intellectually curious and just fun to be around. She did not distinguished herself in careers nor does she wear fancy clothes to cloak her problems in hyper materialism to fill an existential void.

She is a humble, simple girl who wants to live a normal life with her husband and daughter. She grew up in a poor village in Eastern Europe.

This is the type of girl you want to marry. A diamonds in the rough. Do not worry about what other people think of your girl. She is your girl. If she has ideals and morals and is beautiful for you that is all that matters.

The same can be said for a woman looking for a guy. Marry a guy with ideals who is plain and flies beneath the radar in life. Your blessings in life will  not be money or power or earthly measures of success but a life of love.

If you want further advice or guidance on finding the love of your life just ask.


Poor girls vs rich lady friends

Marry a poor girl. I did and have no regrets. You marry a girl with no money your life will be easy and real (preferably from Eastern Europe, and not America).  Here is my story and rational. The first, half of my childhood my family had no money. I played in the woods and streams and read books about history and philosophy.

The second half, well, I went to Avon Old Farms, a preppy all boys English boarding school in New England and was raised on a steady diet of Holden Caulfield, The Great Gatsby, the golf club lunches and trips for new clothes at Brooks Brothers. I was told I would be a banker. I was, until my first existential crisis of young adulthood.

Can you guess which part of my childhood I remember more dearly?

When you are frugal and back to basics, life has a richer quality. Find a mate who understand this.
  • Marriage is like childhood. You remember the sweet innocent moments and do not care for the ostentatious.

If you are single you know it is depressing. You are in a desert between these two wonderland. To get from one magical time in your life to the next, you have to go though the rite of passage called marriage. However, choose your mate well and that takes courage and wisdom.

Why do I know what I am taking about regarding love and money?

  •  I have a Masters in Economics from Trinity, very happily married, studied and researched the relationship between money and love.
This is me living a rustic life and my wife is happy.

The economics of finding the love of your life –  hint – money and love are slightly inversely correlated

My advice is think back on your own childhood and what your sweetest memories were.  Were they connected to the interactions with others, like from the TV show the ‘Wonder Years’, or materialistic ambitions?  My dating tip is try to replicate the core values of your childhood with your partner in marriage. Jettison any societal programming connected with things that are not real.

My sister in law and niece in the Polish countryside. They are nice good humans who you can always count on.

What is REAL? asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle? – The Velveteen Rabbit

  • Poverty and economic hardship has a transformative effect on people. They have a greater ability to discern between what is real and unreal when it comes to life.
  • In contrast, careersism and feminism are connected often not to the genuine liberation of women, but pride and material ambitions.
  • When choosing a girl for marriage, try to see behind the cloak, if she is a lamb or a runs with the wolves (if you want peace and harmony choose the former).

My wife

My darling wife, sticks with me for better or for worst.

She grew up on a farm in Poland. She did not care about material things as she was spiritually oriented.

I often seem to criticizes American women and suggest they are not the optimal choice for a lady friend. I am not saying this. It has nothing to do with America, but rather cultural trends which have seemed to poisoned the well. From the pool of American women to choose from, it has become harder to find one that has over ridden her cultural programming.

My poor wife – Our wedding cost under 3,000 dollars total and we will be loyal our whole lives.

Al ot of my American girl friends have dropped a cool $30,000 dollars on a wedding, only to ‘leave the jerk’ a few years later.  I have pondered what is going on in American culture, but knew that my destiny lay in a different path.

My message is do not let your judgement be mislead by flashy physical beauty.

There are many girls who are tempting but this does not mean they will be good for you in the long-run.

All that glitters is not gold and all that is gold does not glitter – J.R.R. Tolkien

The reason people are poor or rich often has more to do with the circumstances of their birth. And I am a unrepentant capitalist. But if you read Adam Smith he would tend to agree.

In American culture there are two things which seem important:

  • Producing self confidant girls – Self confidence seems to be the summum bonum of the American high school experience. That is, instil self-confidence into youth and they will make the right choices. I disagree. Self confidence has its place, but more important is humility, purity of thought, wisdom, intellectual curiosity, loyalty. Self confidence not tempered with wisdom can feed into ego and breed a generation of self-absorbed, know it alls who, will not humble themselves.
  • Measures of success during the dating process – Titles, fraternities, accomplishments, degrees, house or car even height and clothes you wear. Lets be honest a lot of Americans are into this. Not all, but American girls care about money and economic standard when choosing a mate. In my experience, Eastern European girls do not. They want a spiritual, humble guy who will be there for them.

The spiritual poverty of the West exceeds the material lack of the East. – Mother Theresa

 10 Pros of marrying a poor girl

  1. She will expect less and appreciate you more.
  2. You can give her your money and she will make sure your household lives under frugal conditions and you do not go into debt. When I shop, I spend, my wife makes our dollars last.
  3. The best things in life are free – use your imagination.
  4. Poor girls are often thin, as they do not have money to spend on food. My wife has always been below a size 8 and mostly a size 4. She did not have a lot of money to buy package convenient foods.
  5. Life has a different quality when you live in more rustic conditions.  For example, when I had satellite TV and 200 stations, I watched few programs and rather, just channel, surfed. Now that I have a rabbit-ear antenna and broadcast TV and can not believe all the good shows that are on. Well this is not exactly the definition of rustic, but you get the point.
  6. Time goes by at a different pace when you have less money. When I was in Poland and in the hospital I shared my room with a man who lived during WWII. He said that a few years then seemed like ten years today. Life passes by so fast as everyone is busy and rushing and waiting for the next gadget.
  7. You feel like a prince who meets Cinderella.
  8. Less is more, with less money, you use your creativity to do with less.
  9. When you make money she will see you as a hero, you can donate the money to the needy and you will even be more her champion.
  10. Poor girls are cordial natural, think Ukrainian girls, hipster Portlandia women, rich girls tend to cake on make up and obsess about stylistic things that do not matter like what style handbag at Coaches.
There are a lot of small town or local girls in Europe and even in the USA that are very content on a simple life of marriage. My friend travelled the world, came back home and married a local girl and have lots of kids running around the yard. Of course he gets a lot of money from an earned income tax credit but who cares.

When you make a woman your equal, you make her your superior – Aristotle.

I think this sounds a little chauvinist (which I am not) if you as me, but I think it was  a warning to men and women that we each have our own roles to play in this stage of life.

Do not hunt for your wife were moneyed gals congregate like malls in the USA, rather meet them abroad.

Pros of marrying a career or rich girl

  1. You will have to learn to take a back seat in the decision-making process and your testosterone will decrease.
  2. You will lose your soul in the hyper consumptive patterns of life.

God loves common people, that is why here are so many – Abe Lincoln

Resources to help you with the sorting our the economics of poverty and dating

  • – a website about a girl who has little money and yet lives well and applies her creativity towards positive thing, not base.
  • and two dating sites in Eastern Europe I recommend for finding a lady friend from the village.
  • Poor girls and poor guys – My advice about if you have money but want a unprosperous girl who will treat your well and give you plenty of bambinos and home cooked meals.
  • Working girls – Hard work and frugality are virtues that you might want to consider in a mate, not title or money.

If you marry for money it is the hardest method of working for it.

If you have any questions comment and I can help you find the girl of your dreams.


Marry an idealist

Marry an idealist. Put a ring on the finger of a girl who believes in fairy-tales.

Girls are by their nature naive when it comes to men. They are easily corruptible (hence the invention of chastity belts). That is why in history societies had such strict rules on female behavior connected to dating. Because they could not be trusted to make wise choices regarding mate selection. Do not believe me?  Then explain to me why  most kids in the USA are being raised by one parent and divorce is over 50%, 80% initiated by women? And no it is not better for the kids that the parents break up.

My wife would stay with me no matter what rustic conditions we live in. She is the quintessential idealist. and why can not find love in the USA – The issue is every social moral guidelines has now been unplugged and broken. Girls are so free and liberated friendshipually that they have swindled themselves out of their own happiness when in comes to love. Hence, it is hard to find true love in the USA, period.

Therefore, the only thing can replace old world values that protected women from scoundrels is an internally developed romantic ideal and a loyalty to their vision.  Only this will preserve her soul’s experiences for her husband, and not giving her body to every guy who has perfected his game; until there is nothing left of her except a profile that lists all the hip and cool things she has done in her life (mostly with other men mind you).

If your princess  does not live a romantic vision she has no right to the title princess and why marry her? She will divorce you, not be loyal, at least not in her mind, has been there done that with everyone else.  What is the point of sacrificing your life for some female who will become a ball and chain. In a word, you want to marry sleeping beauty.

Girls in Eastern Europe dream of their prince to find and awaken them.

Who is sleeping beauty

Sleeping beauty is a romantic metaphor for latent female sensuality.  A girl lying passively beneath a sheet, waiting to be uncovered, even if it takes an eternity to find her. Sleeping beauty is a woman whose allure is a curse (and every woman has this power of attraction to begin with).

I may be punished. And when I am punished, I shall dread it, and suffer it and understand it and accept it. Beauty, when you accept you will flower in the pain, you will flower in your suffering.
The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty – A.N. Roquelaure

A beauty has had the felt the depth of pain and humiliation in life, and this is part of her fascination. These experiences are inseparable from her allue. It would be like trying to extract the color red from the wax of a candle. It can only be admired and consumed.

Is loyalty the ultimate good?

There is a school of philosophy that argues that loyalty is the summum bonum. The rational is if you are not loyal to your beliefs than you do not really hold those ideals. The same can be said for marriage.

You want to marry a girl who is ‘lives in the forms’ – Plato. A lady who is high-minded and lives in the world of ideas, whether it be though a world of literature, religion or her imagination. The optimal situation would be to find a girl who is a little spacey or eccentric because he is not fully of this world,or marry a girl from Poland.

  • You want to find a girl who like in Camus’ the ‘Myth of Sisyphus’ will defy the absurdity of her corpulente and stay with you not matter what circumstance. That is an idealist.

Is a romantic idealist synonymous with a pure woman

A lot of guys, from Middle Eastern cultures have written me and want to find an Indian or Pakistani virgin lady friend. It is so ingrained in their collective unconsciousness that pure is synonymous with the ideal. Man, I am telling you, you are in trouble. There are many girls who are pure physically that will drive you to an early grave and be disloyal in their minds.  In contrast, there are many dames who spent their single years in an impure state, but will bring you marital happiness.

  • What you need to do is discern the spirit of the girl. Does she regret her promiscuity and even see it as a betrayal of you, is the question.
  • The same rule applies for infidelity in marriage. I would not divorce someone for infidelity if they understand it was wrong and genuinely do penance to purity their soul.

Why Platonic love is Romantic – Remember like Plato said this world is an illusionary shadowy world and the reality lays at a deeper level. Like Christ said, the body can not be corrupted from the outside but only from within.  So that is my answer to guys who want an Indian virgin for marriage is this:

  • It is the spirit of the law not the law that matters. And I come back to the question, is she an idealist?
  • Marry a girl for her looks. This is in contrast to everything I have written above. I am just saying marry a cordial girl who has ideals and this way you will extend your incorpulentuation your whole life.

Myers Briggs and modern psychology

What color is your parachute and INTJ vs. this or that. Modern psychology will tell you we are all different, and everything is relative for all kinds of folks. I agree but, this is no way to base a decision of marriage. For marriage you want only one type of girl and delete the others from your mobile phone like a bad habit.

  • Marry an idealistic girl – I am writing for guys that want to find a good wife that will please you physically by being an attractive girl and appeal to the highest part of the triangle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.  I am tell guys forgot all recycled dating advice on the web from people who do not live a successful marriage and listen to me, marry an idealist.

Women tend to be practical as they worry about marrying a starving artist that can not provide for a nice nest for their ladys when they hatch. In fact, a lot of women pride themselves on being practical and say “I think more like a man than a woman’ or ‘I have more guy friends than girl friends’. In my opinion, this ironically is the quintessential signature of feminine thinking.

I know many a women who married practically and post crisis are in debt to the hilt. In contrast, I know women who married guys who worked in a proverbial coffee shop, did something entrepreneurial and creative and have a lifetime of security. Base marriage on ideals, end of sentence.

Eastern Europe is the philosophical opposite of the USA – In Poland for example, it is noble to be high-minded and the girls are as lonely as they are beautiful.

Why we are all the same in the same boat when it comes to matrimony  

Jettison the psychological sophism that we are all different. Yes we are, but at our core, you make choices in life. You make a choice to be loyal to your ideals or to pursue base forms of security and symbols of success. We are all lonely and in pain here on this planet and the only way to escape this existential anxiety is through transcendence. Transcend the ordinary and find a girl who talks about fairy-tales. Make the right choices in dating, marry someone who believes in the absurd notion that there is only one great love in life. The choices you make in love will echo through eternity and your children’s children will hopefully be on this world for many generations and this will change the universe. So make the right choice.

There is a place where girls pride themselves on being domestic and all they want is to be a good virtuous wife. There is a place girls are literally laying arround waiting for their husbands. Hint it is not America.

Where to find snow-white

I recommend finding a wife here:

  • Poland
  • Russia
  • Ukraine

Cold dreamy dreary  grey countries where girls still talk waiting for their fairy-tale prince.