I am romantic. I am religious. I do not care about career. I do not have an inordinate affection for money or prestige. I believe in self-sufficiency. I am an idealist. Family comes before working at a career. I would rather be at home with my child teaching them chess than being in the metaphorical beehive. So what does this have to do with why my wife is from Europe? Why do men go abroad for marriage? Everything. Read on.
Men go abroad to find true love. This is no different than dating from another state. Because I believe we are all citizens of the world. I know several American women who also meet their spouse aboard. I am not saying taking tours. I am saying love has no boundaries.
Guys, what is the:
Percentage of households have foreign spousesYou will be surprised. Here is the statistics right from the US government above.
Do not let people feel funny about looking for a foreign wife.
Below is my reasons for marrying abroad in a video. – Subscribe to the channel.
Feminist might say you to leverage the income disparity between the two countries, and hence increase their power in the mating game. False. The idea is rich American men find poor, girl from a developing country and this is their play.
Nothing could be further from the truth. If men wanted to find a poor Cinderella, they could find it in America. I live in Florida and the poverty here exceeds the poverty in Eastern Europe in many ways.
You want poor, look at the endless trailer parks here in the US. Many of my college students I teach live in double wide trailers with their parents on food stamps.
The difference is not the level of earnings a person has that matters. Not for the woman or the man. It is what is in their head. For example, even the poor in Eastern Europe are highly educated or at least can converse about basic ideas with regards to history or literature.
In contrast, the girl next door, often has intellectual curiously that is defunct. The US and the UK like Ancient Rome. We are practical people. Continental Europe is like Ancient Greece, with an emphasis on intellectual culture. I teach college in the US and go to school for a in Europe. There is a world of difference in of students with regards to education.
If people ask, put it right out there, that you are looking for a foreign lady friend. Have some courage.
Loyalty factor in Marriage
In my family’s village in Poland and Ukraine, people stay together no matter what. People can drink, cheat and not even like each other, but they stay together. In contrast in crazy American and Western European people split for trivial reasons. The US has a 53% divorce rate, Belgium 73% in contrast in India 1%, Poland 19%. I know we are a great country etc but man. We in the West are socially anti-marriage. If you are not into marriage you are not into children, because kids need both parents.
In the US sometimes I think it is better to find a woman you really dislike and give your house and half your money and save yourself the stress.
What it comes down to is I believe in love and love that last forever, not until one person’s ego flexes or the other persons ego becomes bruised.
My list of top countries to find a wifeThe Culture of marriage around the world
The bottom-line cultures are different relating to relationships around the world. There are variance in marriage longevity as well as happiness. These are measured, qualitative and anecdotally but also statistically and empirically.
Men go aboard to find their wives because they do not relate to the culture around them. I relate to a culture of family and marriage and religion. I have a dreamy romantic outlook on life.
I would not fit well with a cell phone addicted girl who is raised on package food in the suburbs and taking online courses for her MBA to further her career. Give me a slim, European liberal arts major who know how to grow her own food and sews any day of the week, and on the weekends goes to church with me and really tries to humble herself as I hope I do.
Why I married my wife
I married my wife because I love her, she is my soulmate, she relates to my cultural origins, we go to church together, do not compete with each other and really are not into careers. We are into family.
Yes perhaps I could have found someone kind of similar in the US but I believe in a one and only.
In the end, there can be only one
The Highlander
People who criticizes foreign marriages need to be open to the possibilities
You can not limit yourself to the girl next door. In the old days you could. The culture was more uniform. My parents were both Catholic and Slavic, ate the same food, cerebrated the same holidays, saw life in the same way and were from the same Philadelphia neighborhood. They were together over 70 years.
In fact, if my dad married someone from Poland or Ukraine it would not have been the same because of the cultural chasm that existed at the time as a result of the political economic events in the world.
Find another child of God no matter where they come from.
Mark Biernat
Similarly, it is often the case with Indian American women going to India to marry a guy. Yes they are from the same culture but they see the world in a different way.
My point is in this time and place if I were a Millennial or Gen Z, since we have so much technology at our finger tips, and ease of travel, there is no reason not to go abroad if that is where your heart leads you. Women abroad speak English and they are sophisticated but still have values that are old world.
It is all about values.
Mark Biernat
Culture is one aspect that influences values. Find a culture you personally identify with and start there.
It has noting to do worth ethic make up. If you do a test like 23andme you will see that we are all a Heinz 57 of ancient peoples. Even me I have an unusual high number of Neanderthal genes.
What matters is knowing who you are. Women around me never really understood my romantic notions of love as portrayed in books from Jane Austen to Russian romantic writers and poets. I grew up in woodsy snowy New England with dreamy visions of love and marriage. It just was not me to compromise my values and dreams in the only relationship that really matters.
Know thy self
Inscription on the Temple of Delphi
What matters is the you free your mind and stretch beyond your own psychological boundaries and limitations when it comes to ‘shoulds’ and ‘have tos’ of where to find a wife or husband.
Where do start to find a wife abroad?
The choices you make now will echo through eternity
- My top recommendation is travel – I do not want to hear that you have a house or career or you some lame excuse. Travel. I did it and so can you. I quite my career for a decade and missed the financial crisis in ’08 and ended up better than many of my friends who were too scared to leave their careers in the beehive. I now have a family and live in a nice house and have a job etc, everything is fine. My two friends, George and Scott who did not travel and hunkered down in their careers are not marry, bored with their careers in the cube, and cynical.
- Start chatting with girls online – Alternatively you can try online dating sites and marriage sites as those have women who are serious about marriage. However, better is to start online with traditional dating sites. I have written a lot about dating online and you can read some of my articles.
- Go to school abroad – I do and so can you. I am no different than any of you. It just takes a little effort. The biggest Internet in the world is a college campus. When you are studying abroad at any age you will find more women that are single then you could ever meet online. Why? Because they are screened with your eyes rather than some hot-shopped Instagram image. You can talk to them and hear their voice rather than get an emoji. You can smell then and touch them rather than downloading their hots on your phone.
- We are mammals and have not transferred our conciseness to AI, at least not yet.
If you have questions, write me. I want you to be happily married.
Good read. The most important part for most people is breaking the tribal mindset of, well, staying within the tribe. Western societies demonize anyone who leaves, which is something you have to break past if you want to be successful marrying a foreigner.
If people cast judgement on me I look at their lives and their marriages and who they are married to, and I know I made the right choice. It is as simple as that. I highly recommend considering a marriage from abroad if you do not like the matrix of our culture.