Office Geeks and Spreadsheet Power-User Nerds need Love too
You have to get married. You have no choice. Either that, or you will for hear the rest of your life the question “Why did you not get married?”. To simply avoid this question is not the reason to get married but it tells you something about why we are really here.
I know there are a series of rationalizations you can put forth, how you do not believe in marriage or you just want to ‘co-parent’ or you were married and it did not work, or you can tell stories about the one that got away. However, the bottom line is that talk is for rationalizers, players or cowards.
Everyone can get married. If you do not feel you are attractive enough or women have changed, you are wrong. You are attractive and women want to get married.
You have to get married and this post tells you how to use an Excel or LibreCalc spreadsheet to put your dating into high gear and increase your probability.
I know this is a very left brain male approach. It is not the only way. It is just an idea, that is all. But from this you can get some perspective. Even just creating the spreadsheet might give you some insight to what you really want in life and what you do not want.
Dating with a Spreadsheet
I know this is Anti-Romantic. However, whenever I have a problem in life, I take it to Microsoft Excel. I actually use Libreoffice Calc for my spreadsheet because it is free and all you need. Things I have done with a spreadsheet include:
- I designed my whole urban farm/garden
- My Ph.D. thesis
- My income and expenses
- Calander of important events
- Ideas for entrepreneurial activities
- Websites mapped out
- Complex investment accounting consulting
Spreadsheets are nothing more than a tool to help you organize. Word does little for the organization of ideas, you need to clarify in a linear way. How is Excell or LibreOffice Calc different from a “little black book” from the old days?
I know girls use little pink scapebook books of dreams and doodles but guy’s brains think different. That is why Excel (Google Sheets, Libre Office Calc) works for me. Maybe I will add some color to the rows and columns. Or use a diferent font. But for a guy, you need to organize your ideas or life will take you somewhere else.
- The reason I like a spreadsheet is it forces you to be brief and concise in your ideas.
- Any Dating site or Dating app is just an SQL database anyway, better you be the one who designs your vision.
If I was at the point where I was not married and in my 40s (or 20s or 30s and nothing is working), I would try everything. I would pull out all stops. I would sign up for every online dating website I could. Even though this contradicts my general advice of meeting women (or guys) in person.
My advice or columns or dating sites might not be yours. However, these exercises clarifies priorities. Girls might dislike this ideas, but, you see how women often think. They will be Doctors and go out with some biker guy. They often do not think things through when it comes to romance.
What dating sites would I try
I would even do Tinder. Better might be International dating sites. But best is I would sign up for Christian dating, Catholic dating, and organize my plan before just clicking. I know this seems to contradict much of my luddite advice, but you do not want to get the question of ‘why you never choose to marry’ for the rest of your life.
Being buried with your pet
You do not want to die alone or be buried with your pet as now is the trend among some of the ultra lonely who project everything on their pets. I see a number of people bring pets into grocery stores and in baby carriages. Some people have pets in the bedroom (could be OK but better is a woman).
For me, someone who is married with a family is a sign that they are willing to take risks and do things others will not. So do not let anyone intimidate you into thinking putting your dating life on a spreadsheet is strange, it is not. It might not be romantic but if it gets you to find true love you can delete the whole thing and never look back.
What I would put on column headers
I would format it like this:
- First Name – You do not need much other biographical information. Looking online often does not yield relevant information like you might think. My wife to this day does not have a Facebook account. If I did not have websites I would delete mine. Sometimes you can find information, but better is to simply ask.
- Cell phone number – once you have this you do not need a score of other contact information.
- Physical attractiveness – Go for what you personally like. For me this has to be fantasy level. The good news is everyone can be attractive.
- Religion – I think the same religion does matter, at least for me, but in theory, I could marry a woman from another religious entirely as long as she authentically into it.
- Religious commitment – That is, does she go to service weekly and/or really walk the walk or in name only. This might be the most important entry on your spreadsheet. If you have a household not governed by the widsom of God, and your kids raised with the morals of the public schools, you will have an empty life. Maybe not at first, but you know how life is.
- Virtue – How humble, compassionate and good listener they are. So many people, even “religious people”, swear, are headstrong, opinionated or generally not sweet. Someone who is empathetic towards the struggles in your life and can balance this out with wisdom an be a good listener than your days will be pleseant. Someone who says they are sorry a lot and is humble.
- Money – Do they care about money? In my book, money is almost the opposite of love. Once you are married you might need to pay some of your bills. But my goodness, when you are young you should be full of piss and vinegar and be able to take Rt. 66 from Chicago to LA in a convertible that has the check engine light (putting a tape over it is effective) on or on your bike, or hike the Appalachian trail. Anyone who cares about money, I would heavely discount, or else you will be a slave to her your whole life, even if you do not stay married.
- Education – It is a sign that someone can make a commitmit and follow through.
- Earthiness – Do they know anything about agriculture or nature or are they hyperconsumptive buying things in packages.
- Romantic – Someone who believes in love and its mystical quality.
That is it. Perhaps it could be faith, beauty and virtue. Keep it simple.
Get the raw numbers
Try as many approaches as you can. If you had 100 girls on a spreadsheet, there is one that will be a 10,10,10 for faith, beauty and virtue.
Sign up for dating sites, free ones, paid ones, it does not matter. Approach girls on the street. I would, as the pain in my life broke much of my inhibitions. Do you really care what other people think of you, I do not.
Ultimately once your clarify what you are looking for and have practiced this in your spreadsheet, you can delete it and find the love of your life.