All single people are lonely
I do not know why people are afraid to admit this but being single is painfully lonely. You often feel you will never meet anyone. All single people are lonely, including me before I was married. The purpose of this post is to not only tell you why this is true but give you a real solution, that I think few people give you.
Do not kid yourself and say I enjoy being single. Sure I know guys that are in their 40s and still going to the pub and tell me they like their freedom. Even guys that are players. However, like in the movie Family man mpst of the confess they wish they were in my shoes, that is married to a cordial young beautiful wife and have a child. A wife who is there for them and really makes them happy. My single friends tell me I am really lucky. I know, I was once single and lonely myself.
Perhaps, you have had a series of misfires in terms of relationships and you feeleven if you find your mate it will be just some variation of someone you dated in the past. This is the farthest things from the truth. When you meet the person you are suppose to be with it is a radical departure from anything you have ever experienced in the past.
Why give up being single?
- Lust and other pleasures of the flesh – What are you so puritanical to admit this? When you are married you can have this as much as’ boom boom’ you like. Even if you are an amoral player, you can not have this without a lot of work or guilt. When you are married no problem, no guilt, just marry someone who you think is super cordial and does not hassle you.
- God wants you to be married – Sure when you are done with you life God will ask what did you do with the gifts that were lent to you? Do you want to say, I selfishly stayed single.
- It is rewarding to have a wife – Being married is th highest level. No comparison to being single. This is why like 96% of the people eventually marry and even people who divorce get remarried. I do not care if you are a famous actress or something, no one wants to be alone. Most people do not start making real money until they are married by the way, so do not believe this focus on your career mantra.
- Single people are neurotic – Yes this is basically true. I was, and I think I was pretty normal and together, but when you have a family you are not obessing about your problems. Mating is one of the most instinctive things living beings do, and if you are not doing it you, you start obsessing about it or something else.
Do not believe this new wave thinking abut happy and single. It is not true. Being single is lonely.
Dating in America
One of my friends in Boston Jerzy is single. He has dated countless women, but never found the one. I think it is because he has only dated American women. He is a tall good looking guy with a great job, a house and travels. He just dated American women that treated him bad. Here are some examples of nutcases he dated.
Funny examples of American girls he date online and offline
- Marry a millionare dating -He dated some girl that would not give him a second date until he revealed his net worth to her.
- Dating a boss – He dated another girl from match.com who was a dragon. She was an American business women named Michelle in her 30s who was a VP of a large company in the marketing department. Even though he made six figures it was not enough for this VP girl. She did not say it right out but this was what it was. Years latter he looked her up and she is her mid 40s and she never got married and had children. In fact like 8 years latter he noted she was still on match.com. This girl was a serial Ms. Match.com dater as well as a dragon, looking for someone to control as she like to be the boss.
- Online mismatch – With online dating he meet a girl that was a doctor, she made some comment that she would only marry another doctor as no one else can understand the importance of her job.
- The flakey date -He tried match.com again and while he was waiting at Starbucks to meet her, he saw a women in the back of a cab look at him and then wave the cab driver to drive on.
- The spoiled American girl – He was dating a girl who was a professor at Harvard. He thought this girl must be reasonable as to achieve this position in life she must have worked hard. The one was so pampered, she would take a cab to go a few blocks down to the corner store, in fact everywhere. The subway or walking was not an option.
- Therapy for couples – Another girl on the third date suggested they go to couples therapy.
- Speed dating – He actually considered 8 minute dating, which is another story.
Basically he has scores of stories of his dating misadventures. Most of the women if they did not like him would not ever give him a s The bottom line is he is lonely. He comes home every night to an empty house. He orders some Chinese food, watches the discovery channel, reads. On the weekend he goes hiking and has some day trips and on the weekend his boss does not call him in. Most days his life is OK but many nights he is painfully lonely and does not feel his sense in life.
Being single is fine in your twenties
In your 20s it is cool to be a slave to the company and have pet cats and go out with your girlfriends. It is not cool in your 30s. If you are in your 30s you start to see the morality of your life and feel you are missing the boat, your limited window of opportunity.
In your 40s you start to see what a joke careerism is,especially in corporate America. It is cool to be single in your 20s but it gets old fast and most of my friends become painfully lonely who are single. It hurts more than anything and the pain is real. It is like a real physical pain. Especially at night you feel the pain of being single. This is nature pushing you to take action.
The solution to being painfully lonely and single
Understand the world is not America. Understand you do not have to limit yourself. I have meet countless men and women that find their other half when they realizes that all of creation, not just the USA, is where you will find your spouse. Look abroad. Marry a foreign lady friend or groom.
Play to win in life and do not settle. Expanding your search abroad will exponentially increase your chance of finding your wife or husband. The day you meet your mate is the day you will stop being single and lonely.