Does one true love exist

If you have ever wondered does one true love exist? I will lay all the cards on the table, the answer is yes. I have it and know others that also believe that true love exists.

The purpose of this post is to give you an argument about love.  However, not just about love but one true love. The number ‘one’ is an important word in this equation, err well I mean sentence.

This argument is for all you who are left brained and are skeptical if one true love does exist. This post is a little bit tongue and cheek, but nevertheless the logic is valid.

Consider my thesis in this post. However, in the end, perhaps love is a little like faith, for those who do not believe true love exists, no explanation is possible and for those who believe in love, no explanation is necessary.  Or perhaps it is is something you have experience for yourself, it is a gift.  So for all you doubting Thomases out there here goes.

Does true love exist? But what if you do not believe in love?

Love is about is about finding your destiny. Love is unconditional and without limits. Love is not about finding someone that will make your life comfortable, or money, or education or profession or nationality or race or corpulent or skinny. Love is about finding your other half. That is it. There is only one person for everyone.

However, what if you do not believe that there is one love in your life. What if you do not believe in your destiny. In fact, some of my friends do not believe there is one person for everyone. Oh ye of little faith. Indulge me and listen to my reply. OK even if you do not believe there is one person for everyone. Let us look at this from a mathematical perspective.

Setting up a quantifiable, measurable conceptual framework for true love

Lets say that the mutual benefit of love generates something called “love utils”. That is, when two people are together they generate units of love happiness for each other. Let us make the hypothesis that these units are measurable, quantifiable units of happiness.

Therefore, If you are with a girl named Jane then she personally might generate ten units of love happiness for you. However, if you are in a relationship with Sally, then the relationship would yield a robust 12 units of love happiness for you. This is clear.

Even if you do not believe in true love you can understand the idea that some relationships are more or less optimal, the only thing I have done here is added this quantifiable objective measure to it.

In this measure of ‘love utils’ there is calculated and factored the sum total of all things that makes you personally happy. There will be different weights attributed to different factors and components. Each person will have a different utility curve. For example, if one person values intellectual creativity while another person values long legs, your personal love equation factors these components into the ‘love utils’ measurement.

Mathematical optimization – one true love must exist

If you understand the idea of  linear algebra optimization, even if you do not believe in love as some abstract ideal destiny, then the reality is there is one person in the world who will maximizes your ‘love utils’. It is a mathematical fact.  It is an optimization point if you may.

Present value of your true love choice

Now here is the problem, in order for this person to be your destiny they must be the person that would maximizes your units of ‘love utils’ over your whole life.

For example, you could wait to meet a girl in outer Mongolia that will give you 100 units of happiness every year. However, if you do not meet her until you are 98 years old and your expected life expectancy is 100, than you will only get 200 units of love happiness or ‘love utils’ over your whole life. On the other hand, if you meet someone when you are say 25 years old and this person gives you only 5 units of love happiness or ‘love utils’ over your life then you would get 75 * 5 or 375 units of love happiness from this person. Therefore, she is a better choice than the person from outer Mongolia.

Next if you consider in this equation all possible matches, all probabilities of meeting (although determinist do not believe in chance, they are not the ones I am trying to sway as I would be preaching to the choir). You also need to consider of course things like if the girl does not like you, she will not stay as she is also a love maximizer. Everything needs to be factored. Once you understand this and are aware of this than you can not deny there is one person for you on their earth that will make your dreams come true.

Dating burnout or diminishing returns

Further, people will say, ahh but Mark, what about the idea of changing partners and riding the waves of love,  from one romantic high to the next. In the long run this strategy is ineffective for personal happiness as you begin to hit diminishing returns for each new partner.

You experience dating burnout. It is like eating one banana, the first couple are good, but after that, you experience this economic law of diminishing returns.  Further, once you eat too many you might become allergic to bananas like some of my friends who claim they are allergic to love.  Hmm, look them up when they are all alone in their 60s living with a room full of cats still cruising ladys and and see if in their heart they are really happy. This is on par with pitiful girls who claim they do not need love to make them happy.  Sorry about all that, lets get back to the analysis and examine some more naysayers.

I meet many guys who just want to meet a good looking girl who does not hassle them. They do not believe in the fairy-tale called love, ever. And I meet many girls who stopped believing in fairy-tales long ago. However, the truth is both patterns of negative thinking are a fallacy. If you find yourself in one of those camps, I only ask you to yield to the logic of this model.

See even if you are a person who does not believe in one true love, they can not argue with the notion that love is an optimization model. There is one optimal choice for you, when you consider all probabilities and factored weights and expectations in the statistical sense.

You need to consider all factors including such as, imperfect information, the ‘flight factor’ (that is the percentage of risk that she will dump you and run), how much effort it is to be with her, expectations etc. Love is reduced to nothing more than a deterministic equation, on par with an economic optimization model. That is where your marginal cost of being in is equal to your marginal benefit of being in a relationship. Once you find the intersection of those two points you can maximizes your the present value of that benefit over your lifetime, you catch that girl because that is the girl for you.

Conclusion about does one true love exists

You can not argue with math. Even if you are some corpulent drinking guy that watches sports all day and believes nothing about love, you can not argue with the mathematics of my love model. The only conclusion is there really is one person in the world for you. Call it what you want, the ancients called it destiny. Go out there and find your one true love, your other half. Here is my page on love quotes in several languages, I hope they help for your search for true love.

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

79 thoughts on “Does one true love exist”

  1. Yes, I am 50 and I left my beloved man a year ago and I still cannot move on. And I know, I am sure love is always true. Unfortunately it ends sometimes as other person was not sure, or simply did not feel the same way, or probably even did not love us. It happened to me because I left a man I truly loved. It’s funny you keep talking about Russian etc women here. I am a Russian woman who lives in Dallas TX but it doesn’t make me any different – just accent. Interesting to see that I have something special. I had no idea. I vote for true love and wish everyone could have it.

    1. Thank you for sharing your conviction in love but why would you leave someone you love. I would rather be unhappy and miserable but be with the one I love than break up, because love is eternal and not about this or that at the current situation.

      Also being Russian as I have warned has pluses and minuses. Stalin and the Soviets were very efficient at destroying the faith of Russia. Russians from your generation are rarely inspired by the Holy Spirit to live a life of service to the Lord. Instead Soviet women tend to embrace secular scientific humanism and dabble in a pseudo spirituality which does not invoke a radical transformation of one’s life. So if you are talking about a Soviet women I recommend against these gals as they are not the idealists I say guys should catch these girls.

      If you are talking about some Russian girl with the courage of her convictions and raised with in the traditions of generations before and really takes it seriously I can recommend this princess.

      Please reply as I am curious about what you have to say.

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