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Romanticism

Date Abroad or Marry the Girl Next Door?

Much of what I have written over the last several years has been skewed towards dating and seeking marriage abroad. This was based on my positive experience with being married to a foreigner wife. My marriage has stood the test of time.

In addition to my personal account, there is good statistical evidence that marriage to a foreigner has a higher probability of success than to a local girl, yet this all depends.

To claim women aboard are better wives or better looking is a simplification. Let me explain.

Who gets Girls? -The Corporate Warrior or the Pirate?

When I lived in Boston and had a corporate job, I guess I was OK in terms of dating material. I dressed well, liked bookstores and sushi and did Yoga and had a Master’s degree. I was funny. I love to travel, art, hiking, reading, came from a good family, and did I mention I dressed well. I had all the checkmarks. However, in a word I was boring.

Think about it, do you want that girl in the office, who is ‘nice’ and has paper cut out hearts in your cube and eats 3 pm birthday cakes from the latest conference room gathering? Or do you want to meet the cordialtest girl in the club, and take her home, and marry her?

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason, he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Yet, I was not a millionaire or a pro ballplayer. The latter was not realistic. However, I could climb the corporate ladder, invest in speculative tech stocks and perhaps start to accumulate real estate. This would take some time and a lot of work. However, with that resume, I would expect that I would attract women of what I perceived as more beautiful and marriage worthy. In my humble opinion, that is a lot of work. Living a dreary vain existence just to find something that I had read in my childhood fairy-tales was free from the impediments of this world, that is true love was based on beauty and virtue.

Your runway model Cinderella does not want a rich guy, she wants someone real, authentic who has philosophized on life is about. Someone living their life like there is no tomorrow.

Behind all seen things lies something vaster; everything is but a path, a portal or a window opening on something other than itself.

Wind, Sand and Stars – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

When I was traveling abroad, I instantly started to attract the eye of women which only stars like Brad Pitt or the lastest heartthrob, or some newly minted tech Billionaires hoped to attract.

For years I assumed it was simply the women abroad were just more open to marriage or appreciated what I had. To some extent that might be true. However, upon reflection, in retrospect, it could have been just by virtue of me being cooler, did I attract women. The question is how did I become cool?

Cool guys get cool girls

Cool. Yes, you know like the Fonzie from Happy Days. I went from being a corporate loser with a title: ‘Director, Manager, Project Lead, etc. to some guy living quasi off the grid, who did not worry about money and living on potatoes. I was more about living. I was concerned with exploring life, and on a day-to-day level, not my resume or my house or condo or whatever mattered. I was free.

What girl in their right mind would not love a guy who was intelligent and did not stress about money?

Women and Money again

‘What value is it is a man gains the world and loses his soul in the process? – Mark 8:36

If you think women love money and care about money, you are 100% wrong. Women want a guy who they feel safe with. That is defined as when they have a baby, they will not be carrying that baby through the woods somewhere or living in a car.

That is a big difference than money.

See intelligence is almost defined by the ability to adapt to new circumstances. Think about what this means. It means that movie stars that have money and lose it are not as good as the person who has a resume of defeats but can still rise up and adapt to the situation at hand. It means that someone living the corporate job with the house is OK, just OK. But if you take life by the stones and live abroad, be a DJ, live like there is no tomorrow, women will flock to you. They will feel alive around you.

You do not have to be a dirtbag or a lowlife mind you, you could be a maverick but, one of virtue and dress stylish by thrifting if you have no cash.

When I returned from living aboard and traveling the world, the USA seemed different. Yes, the women were still standoffish but I flew above all that. If I was single it would make less of a difference if I dated a girl abroad or from the USA.

I now had Chutzpah. I was no longer a cube worker but a pirate. Even when I went back into cube life to earn some money it did not matter.

So my point is if you are not dating a Cinderella who looks like a runway model, maybe it is because you have not taken enough life risks. I mean real-life risks like giving your corporate boss the finger.

To get the girl, better than browsing Russian or Asian dating sites, better might be to like the Bible says ‘give your possession to the poor’, a local thrift shop. Cash-out your home and investments. Live with a friend in the meantime. Then one day, when you are ready, when you have a big meeting at work or just a random day, that you are really needed, just not show up.

Rather you are on a plane to some foreign exotic land in a quest. Not a quest for a girl mind you but to save your soul from the mundane, quiet life of desperation most people are living.

Maybe take one bag and a 3.5 lbs Chromebook.

Nothing can match the treasure of common memories, of trials endured together, of quarrels and reconciliations and generous emotions. It is idle, having planted an acorn in the morning, to expect that afternoon to sit in the shade of the oak.

Wind, Sand and Stars – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Live that romantic life.

That is taking life by the stones. You might wind up flat on your face, sick or broken in some hole. But that is what life is about. It is a learning experience. And if you want a princess, you need to be prepared to give up your fears and preconceived notions about this world. The word ‘should’ sound much like the word ‘Sh_t’. Have you noticed that? There are no ‘shoulds’ in life. Learn to think outside the box.

Get the ‘shoulds’ out of your life. I am not just telling you this, I did it. Live a fantasy, and just find your fairly-tale princess. Then you can settle down and live the life of a er with a small house with a white picket fence and an SUV and you will be happy because you actually have lived your life.

If you want to know is it better to date the girl next door or marry a foreign wife, the answer really if, it does not matter as long as you are living your life by your rules.

I want you to have a happy life. If you need an extra word of encouragement, write to me from my contact page.

By Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

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