Prayer vs. Law of Attraction for Love

Prayer compared to Law of attraction love

 Prayer compared to Law of Attraction for love and marriage

In this post, I am looking at two ideas, prayer and the law of attraction and asking the question, are they essentially the same for finding the love of your life.

As a corollary to this question there is another question: are traditional religions coupled with prayer different than the modern version of spirituality and the laws of attraction in the context of marriage? I am not here to be nice to you or be politically correct or proselytize. I am not my brother’s keeper. I am already married and happy. Let us look at this objectively as the above questions are relevant to your dating life.

Yield to the logic of the situation

Mr. Spock

Consider this powerful idea

Deeply embedded in every religion is the idea of creation. I am not talking about the creation of the cosmos, that is debatable, rather, procreation. Procreation is not debatable. That is creation, through a Divine union entailing intimate physical relations.

This underlying premise in religion, lives in people’s subconsciousness and dwarfs any conflicting messages they may have from their generation’s social mores.

It is a powerful message when your religion tells you ‘you should be fruitful and multiply’. This ancient message can contradict modern messages of  ‘you do not need to get married or you can do it alone and enjoy your life’.

Even if you are a mess in your head, your faith tells you, having physical relations in the context of marriage is not only guilt-free but good, even required.  You are told it is your oblation to have relations frequently and freely, in the content of marriage. How is that for being direct and to the point?

There is no, if, or buts. That is a central part of being married if you are religious. Further, it is recommended you do not use artificial barriers. If this is part of your religion, a core part, then you better believe it, religious people are motivated to get married.

People who are specifically religious, rather than spiritual want to get married and have a family.

The marriage solution – I know 0.00% cordial looking religious people who are not married or on their way to married.

This combo and looks plus religion is what I call the marriage solution. Before you escape, read on, I will look at this objectively. Consider the power of transcendent ideals coupled with homo sapiens’s need for physical contact. Then add something called prayer.

Yes, you can marry this beauty, but will her ‘spiritual’ belief system result in a lifelong committed marriage? Or despite her being a ‘good person’, ultimately are you one step along her fluid personal journey?

Why not just be spiritual?

Lets first look at the idea of religion compared to the popular culture idea of laws of attractions. Laws of attraction is the straw man which represents pop culture general spirituality. That is a positive idea or set of ideas that seem to emulate religion without all the bureaucracy and nonsense. Even I like this free thinking idea. I even recommend techniques to find love here that are similar, such as visualisation to find love or image your ideal princess or prince.

The issues there is no strong commitment to an ideal on par with ‘crossing the desert’ or ‘carrying the cross’, ‘giving up your life for a higher calling’, ‘a life of self-denial’.  On the contrary, spirituality today is often messed with the idea of what is best for you at the time. Therefore, people who are ‘spiritual’ tend not to be as committed to marriage to the same degree as prayerful people in the pews.

Further, even if people consider these two things synonymous,  the power of laws of attraction for some reason is not as strong as traditional prayer.

What is the Law of attraction?

Law of Attraction is a resurrection of the ideas of Joseph Murphy’s Power of the Subconscious Mind, which is a reinstatement of ideas that go back further. The idea is your subconscious mind communicates to the universe to help you find love. I do not have an issue with this, even if it is wrapped in a New Age cloak because many people today are not traditionally religious. I understand and respect that and recommend Joseph Murphy’s book. I have never read The Secret as frankly, it seems like too much nonsense, someone’s own way to make money.

Law of Attraction results

Objectively it would be challenging to compile statistics to determine if the of attraction works. However, I would say there are a lot of Youtubers promoting it and making claims so we might cautiously say there is anecdotal evidence.

However, I would also like to point out it seems the Youtubers promoting the LOA are themselves single and are not actually married, just dating or with a significant other.

That does not mean it is not effective, it just says, despite the popularity of the concept I do not see overwhelming scientific validation that it is better than being a farmer or a sports fan for example.

I can not say definitively there is a cause-effect relationship with the law of attraction and finding love. For example, if you look at farmers or sports fans statically are they worse off then people who use of attraction to find a spouse? You would have to filter out too many variables and do a cross-sociological study to determine if there is any evidence to support the use of the law of attraction alone as a determinant factor. Anecdotal evidence is intriguing but I can not say either way beyond personal experience.

Who has more of a relationship commitment probability?

Is prayer effective in finding love?

Prayer coupled with traitional religion works. Here is some evidence that religion is associated with marriage and a lower divorce rate.

Even these statistics have issues. Also, the degree of commitment is not reflected in this study.  For example, people could be lukewarm and ‘in name only’ association to an affiliation and this might skew the statistics of people in contrast to people who are, example, Amish.

However, based on we can conclude that the devoted and service goers are generally married and less likely to break up. The people I know that are to their faith are happy in marriage. The ones that are lukewarm are lukewarm in marriage.

What about just being spiritual and praying? The stats do not pan out the same. It is something about having a commitment to a core set of (with all their imperfections) that go beyond the conventional wisdom of being spiritual.

In religion it is about giving up yourself. Some people are willing to die for their religion. However, spirituality is often whatever suits your needs. Therefore, when it comes to marriage partners who will be more committed, and , with you not if things get rough but when things get rough?

Sad story of a spiritual woman

For example, I know a woman personally, who went on a Tony Robbins empowerment seminar in Mexico with her husband.  She met another man there who started a Tequila business and ran off with him. His net worth was ten times more than the current husband. She chalked it up to ‘different partners at different times in our journey’. Let us be real, the man sells a drug, called alcohol. He ran off with another man’s wife. Now she is back in town giving seminars on empowerment and spiritual LOA type talk.

Guys can you now see my point? Open your eyes. Women who are spiritual, but not , are for marriage as and they have a high flight .

Give me a character out of Fiddler on the Roof any day over that lady. I know what love and marriage are about and it indeed is not that lady’s set of beliefs.

“Give me that old-time religion
It’s good enough for me” – Gospel Song 1873 – Traditional religious commitment is correlated to relationship commitment

What about prayer to find love?

Based on my personal experience in life nothing compares to a simple prayer. Forget all the mumbo jumbo, just ask God for a wife or husband. This might be something you want to explore if you are looking for love. Eventually, you may find yourself jettisoning the rules and karmic based thoughts of the Laws of Attraction and your ‘paralysis through analysis’ and replace it with a simpler idea. Specifically asking the all-loving God to help you find your soul mate.

The simple reveals itself after the complex has been exhausted

Again I have no major issue with the laws of attraction. But for me, prayer is like a key that opens the door in the morning and closes it in the evening.  Ironically there are no rituals needed, no purification of your thoughts or long minutes spent in meditation. It can be as simple as asking for help. When you have a busy schedule and are metaphorically ADD like me. A 1-minute ask is easier than doing the whole Zen thing.

If you are hiking in the forest even better in my experience as you can feel some transcendence.

What if you do not believe in God? OK, I understand that. You can still pray, something might happen.

A match of a spiritual person with a religious person

Should you marry someone with different beliefs? Here is a rational answer: Non-religious and religious marriage.

My answer is less rational more to the point. OK, you might say, Mark, ‘I am not religious but I should get a good religious girl right?’ Wrong, you do not have the right to do that to someone. You need to choose someone as idealistic as you are. If you are not that idealistic maybe you should consider a hobby like collecting than marriage. The whole idea of marriage is based on ideal that not make sense to the modern culture we live in.


Because of our traditions, we’ve kept our balance for many, many years. Here in Anatevka, we have traditions for everything… How to sleep, how to eat… how to work… how to wear clothes. For instance, we always keep our heads covered, and always wear a little prayer shawl that shows our constant devotion to God. You may ask, “How did this tradition get started?” I’ll tell you! …I don’t know. But it’s a tradition… and because of our traditions… Every one of us knows who he is and what God expects him to do.

Tevye – Fiddler on the Roof

I meet a couple of girls in Amsterdam staying in my room. They were with long-term boyfriends but not married.  They said they might never get married. I asked them if they were religious, the answer was not at all, but they had beliefs and ideal, just not about God the ultimate reality. They even meditated and did affirmations. In the they said they did not see marriage in their future.

In contrast to spirituality, I know countless and I mean countless people of faith from all religions who are happily married. Think of all the pious humble, Muslims, Jews, Christians from the prophetic religions of Isreal or Hindus and Buddhists from the mystical religions of India that are married and have a family. How many traditional people are married? Billions.

I am just asking you to put the thoughts which are in the Western Collective unconsciousness in perspective of the world and history.

  • With all the issues with religion, that does not negate the power of prayer.

In my personal life, I asked God to help me find true love. When I met my wife, I put this in God’s hands, even if I was still asking. I am married.

Why not tap into the ultimate source of love and compassion in the Universe. Why leave it to your own responsibility and burden? Why carry that weight, you are already doing everything you can now to find true love. Why not start down a path that Billions of people have taken before that leads them to marriage?

Why prayer does work and Law of Attraction might not?

There are a lot of components to this analysis. For example, LOA works on one level, that is it taps into the great ocean of the collective consciousness which we are all connected and sends and message through this bio-psychological ether to communicate with your other half and brings destiny and reality together like gravity.

My thesis is prayer does that also. However, there is an additional benefit. Prayer usually involves a community. Your church, synagogue or temple or mosque. Even if you are not active, you are still somehow communing with people that beyond individual efforts.

In other words, even if you are not religious and do not attend service,  I believe somehow, praying within a construct of belief, somehow gives a little more power to that ask.

What if you are agnostic or atheist?

This means you might be an agnostic former Catholic, Methodist or Jew, but still, in the deep parts of your you have a question, not your faith but your doubts.

You questioned and lost your faith years ago.  ‘You put away childish things’, right? The notion that there is this projection that is a father figure in a flowing white suit on a chair watching mostly our actions with regards to our intimate choces.

But what did not go away were your doubts. This fundamental existential

You rationally cannot swallow the fairy-tale. Yet, you have doubts. Not doubts about faith. Rather subconscious doubts about agnosticism and atheism. Like before he left the Maxtix, the question was burning in him.

It is beyond the scope of this article, but just be open to the idea that your subconscious doubts are haunts you.

That maybe there is a complex stratification of reality. Maybe there is an ultimate reality beyond these Platonic caves we hide out in.

What if you have tried prayer and it is not working?

It will work, patience, .  Sometimes at this time, the answer is no. I thank God for all the people God spared me from. See my discussion : When God is not answering your prayers for a soulmate.

Pay attention to your own looks. Make yourself as beautiful as you can while you wait for your soulmate. I think people underestimate looks. Looks are critical. I made a video here on how to be good looking.

Keep up your prayer. Prayer is like a chain, each day it strengthens your power. Why not tap into the ultimate power for help?

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

One thought on “Prayer vs. Law of Attraction for Love”

  1. The simple always reveals itself after the complex as been exhausted. Try a simple non-formal prayer and after that trust in God.

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