How I would meet a girl

How I wold meet a woman to date

How to meet a woman and court her is easy if you know the secret. I know what I am talking about because I am happily married to the girl of my dreams. I do not know too many people nowadays that can say that.

Since the days of Fiddler on the Roof and matchmakers are a footnote in history, then what is a man to do, or a woman for that matter?

A fairy-tale Cinderella like this you would not met online – You want a match like this beauty, you need to have courage and listen to me.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
Make me a match,
Find me a find,
catch me a catch
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Look through your book,
And make me a perfect match

Fiddler on the Roof

The secret to your mate

The secret for finding not just someone to marry, but the right damsel is found in two basic ideas, evolution and corpulente. This post will the first idea in practical terms so you can get married.

First things first, I would do is not put too much credence in online advice. Much advice is written by unimaginative single people, trying to make money online or just single people, “the blind leading the blind”.  Sorry but that is the truth. In contrast, I am married and do this for supplemental income, however, my primary income, I teach economics and even getting a PhD.  I reluctantly write this blog for a pittance, but I do hope it helps some people. I can speak with some authority not because of my degrees, but because I am married to a beautiful wife.

If you follow my advice to the tee, you will not just get married, anyone can get married, but get married to the girl of your dreams. However, there is one caveat.  My advice will take thinking out of the box and will question your personal beliefs which you might not like. If you can roll with that, then we are good to go.

Show me a girl without a phone in her hand and that is 10 bonus points on the love scale.

If I were single today

How would I meet girl today? If I was single today, that means now, in the time of excess personal technology people and generations in the West who are generally spiritual but not religious, in a world of non-committal Millennials, Gen Z, Xers and Boomers trying again,  how would I meet a woman and make her my lady friend?

Since I am married, I will never meet a girl in my life again. We will never break up and if I was alone I would play chess and hang out with my friends but would not be interested in anyone else. That being said this guide is for you.

There are two issues I see, one is technology and the second is people are generally spiritual and are not connected to the ultimate power in the universe. These two issues are interrelated. The first is much easier to address, that is technology and the focus of this post.

Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. 

Darth Vader Star Wars A New Hope

Technology makes people shallow or at least the addiction to it does. Faith in technology takes away your real power.  Do we all agree? 

I am a college Professor. In my observation, the students that use their phones the most, are the ones that have the least depth in their thought when they articulate ideas on paper. They circle and loop in their brain with basic ideas rather than probe deeper. Why? Not everything can be crystallized into “5 easy steps”. Information is the lowest form of knowledge, which the Internet is partial towards.

Many articles are written by blog writers/ Internet journalists that do not lead you to challenge yourself and your thinking at a more subtle level. It is this subtle level which is decisive. Do not believe me, consider the game of chess.

Chess as an illustration for deeper and subtle thinking

Chess is a simple game in a closed system. There is no luck nor exogenous variables unless you argue distractions need to be factored in. Chess is a subtle game. That means it looks simple, but it is not. Everything is about the art of discerning what seems to be a simple move into lines that have implications that stretch into infinity. My point is you can not read a post about ‘how to win chess in five simple steps’ and expect to win. And you certainly can not win with a cell phone in your hand. 

Similarly, if you are living under the cognitive illusion that love and human interaction and the world we live in is less complex than a silly game of chess, you are in for a rude awakening. My point is you need to rely on your own brain more for mating rather than information or the distraction of technology. Every subtle move you make is the difference between being married to a fairy-tale or losing.

Human evolution and mating is finely honed

You need to realize how complex and subtle mating for life is. The female brain and the million years of evolution behind it designed for mate selection will checkmate you (send you on your way) before you even mate her.  The solution is you need to,  perfect the subtle art wooing her heart courting a girl.

Ditch your phone and be the ascetic. Live in the woods and dive into the snow in your bathing suit. Let your pain of loneliness be your deepening.

This is where technology comes into play. Technology creates cognitive dissonance between your basic drives to find a mate and reality. It distorts your vision and mate selection becomes less than optimal.  I met my wife in the time of technology, but I met her face to face.

How I met my wife

I walked right up to her and started talking out of the blue. I looked her in the eyes and spoke to her, a complete stranger. When I was filled with fear of rejection or embarrassment, I held my ground. You need to have confidence and courage.

As crazy as it sounds, in the times of swiping dating apps, texting and women calling everyone a freak who approaches them, talking face to face, is what women are programmed to respond. Women’s DNA is not programmed for some digital chat or convoluted introduction.

Real life princesses respond to a prince who will conquer her fears with bravery and be willing to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune for them. They will sent the guards to dump boiling oil over the castle walls, as you try to scale the walls. But you need to press on and rescue her from her tower.

In that millisecond, the girl may think you are a weirdo and even tell her friends that, whoever, if you hold your ground and are charming and cool, she will ask herself, ‘who is this guy?’ That is a man. That is real guts. You do not have to be six feet tall and have muscles, you have to be what a million years of evolution has programmed into you.

If you want a fairy-tale princess you need the courage to do this. You need to be able to woe her in real life from start to finish. If not go back to surfing ‘corn’ and doing whatever you do while you do that.

How to break the technology addiction with that relates to dating

Take a deep breath, you do not have to give up your phone or the computer. Just do not put too much credence in dating apps and try to unplug a little. Structure your online time and do not dissipate your libidinal energies there. Technology is a metaphorical hormone disrupter. You can use it all day long as long as it does not become the way you meet girls, at least exclusively. Yes you will get more numbers with technology, but that is not what you want. You want your one and only.

Learn to chat up women by perfecting the art of charm, lose weight (I am 6′ and 169 lbs), dress like a model with cheap clothes and read books, real books not digital books. Then travel the world. Abandon your house or whatever illusion of stability you have, pause or quit your career.  It worked for me. The most important point actually was having the courage to approach women in real life, the other points are helpful.

My point is you need to be radical. This includes countering the ADD technology use with more traditional ways to nourish your brain. Anything, go hiking every day for a couple of hours in the wood, go to church daily or read classics with a paper, not on your phone. I go to the beach almost every day. You need to unplug, and this advice is so simple, but it is important. The painful loneliness you feel when you are unplugged will make you over time a little deeper and see the subtleties of life.

From there your brain can start to kick back into instinct mode. mode is the male version of 1 million years of evolution. That is better than any dating app, or advice from the web, you personally know better based on the hardwiring of your biology.

Why ‘zex tips’ are boring

Analogously, don’t you think articles and advice on euphemistically ‘roll in the hay’ tips are boring and not needed? Of course, they are boring, why? Because you always know that stuff and can do better than anything is written just based on instinct. You do not need a manual to show you how to ‘roll in the hay’, it is hard-wired into your organism. You are better off just to follow your instincts then think about some tip you read or saw somewhere on the web.

People who have Youtube channels on how to meet girls are boring too in my opinion, because deep down you already know to connect with women, it is in your biological program or there would be no human race.

Why do you think there are so many people in the world because people follow advice on YouTube and use dating apps?  Negative, it is because humans have the power to find their mate if you just tap into it.

Instinct disruptors

We were at the zoo this weekend. I observed all kinds of animals.  My question to you is, do you think any of the 8.7 million species and the trillions of living creatures and the 7.5 billion people go here on this planet because of online dating and Instagram? What about all over history and evolution, it seems like nature does fine without technology.  Perhaps this generation has been sold down the river by people with this faith in technology.

Yield to the logic of my argument, one of the two main you are single you are not listing to your biology, rather you are plugged into instinct disruptors like cells phones.

OK here are some tips

You stuck with me this long on my homily, I can give you some simple tips.

  • Write letters – You need to write letters to a girl who you like. If you want to impress her, try to write some letters on stationary. It takes effort and thought and but if you are playing to win rather than playing and you really love her, I would do this. It is better than any gift, spending money on her or a text message no matter how clever and cute. Girls do not marry cute they marry someone who conquers them. Read letters of the past or take inspiration from Les Liaisons .
  • Be Skinny and stylish – Buy mustard color pants, get a good haircut, be 5 lbs underweight. I know this takes effort but I am telling you what gets girls. Do you not also like women that are like this?
  • Only meet girls face to face – Practice meeting women face to face and skip online apps. Get a Master’s degree or take courses somewhere, do what you need to, go to Church, go clubbing in Europe. My goodness, I bought a ticket to Iceland for $230, I flew back from Amsterdam for $250, I stayed in a hostel with girls in my room in the beds next to me.  Forget, online dating these are real women. Book a flight somewhere, stay in a hostel and go site seeing. You will spend more money spinning your wheels around town buying prepared meals or useless stuff that will sit in your closet.  Better is to learn to bake your own bread and have a garden and the $800 dollars a month saves is travel money every month. When you travel, I take a Chromebook not a phone. This way I am not plugged in, only check emails. Rely on your instincts to get around and ask females directions instead of being glued to your GPS.
Travel to meet women.

Guys do you hear me? Girls sleeping in the bed next to me in Europe, one studying to be a Doctor anther was biking across Europe, neither one was online looking for dates. The best ones are offline. They dis technology because they are superior choices for mate selection. The ones online are not as good in my opinion.

If you can not try one idea above

If you can not do the above three things to start I would check your urinary levels of testosterone (T) and epitestosterone (E), this can be done at a walk-in lab in any city, USA. Maybe you are still drinking from plastic bottles, a soy user or are unaware of other hormone disruptors.

Therefore, in conclusion, do not get all negative and blame society or American girls, that things are different today or whatever your deal is. That is the dark side that will lead you to wake up at 45 years old and still being single.

Better is, to be honest with yourself and know what you are. I said what you are not who you are. You are not a cyborg, that is a cybernetic organism, half man, half machine. What you are relates to being a product of a million years of human evolution finely tuned to find the woman of your dreams. If you can not understand this you are swindling yourself out of your own life.

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

2 thoughts on “How I would meet a girl”

  1. I understand that I have the power inside myself naturally to fulfill my dreams, but it is stuck inside me because I am over thinking and influenced by the Internet. Therefore, I have experienced a series of disappointments.

  2. People who experience much of their lives online, for example, as if you spend more than eight hours a day online, believe the whole world does this. Maybe a large percentage of people do. However, that does not mean you should find your other half via the same way you work, that is online. Analogously, just because you are doing Excel spreadsheets in an office all day, you need to find someone else who does Excel spreadsheets in an office. What worked for me was meeting my wife in real life, face-to-face. There is a large percentage of the population of this world who might use the Internet but does not consume for eight hours a day. My suggestion is often these are the women you want to meet.

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