The genesis of my view on women
When I was in high school I thought women were ethereal beings like angelic vessels. They were examples of virtue, goodness and gentleness on this earth. Females radiated with a light and beauty that was almost unobtainable to us mere mortal men.
I had a rude awakening.
However, my initial premise was correct. This is what guys want, a fairy-tale, a vision, an incarnation of a fantasy.
Of course my idealism was probably connected to the fact I grew up in an old world Catholic family and went to an all boys school, where I was steeped in romantic literature. When I went to college at Wake Forest it was still run by the Baptists, where it confirmed my world view. When I went to Trinity for graduate studies, I was so involved in my work and school, I really had not had adequate exposure to women to understand the world around me had changed.
Once my career (does anyone really have this anymore) was underway, I learn that my visions of the goodness of women did not really exist, or so I thought.
Somehow through the grace of God I met my wife in Poland and we are living happily ever after.
What is the point? My point is my original vision was correct. It was a vision that has been transmitted through the generations and centuries in our collective unconsciousness. It is the primordial archetype for single females. The takeaway for women is to follow my line of thinking about how to get there.
Advice to girls
One critical piece of advice I am going to give to womenkind is this: “understand your worth”. I know it seems simple and cliché but it is not. It is real. Women do not see their real value.
When women compromise this leads to fundamental unhappiness. They go through life a little bit miserable like someone who can not shake a low-grade fever. Why? Because they never see their worth and power in the true spirit of the idea.
Seeing your value is not synonymous with empowerment in a materialistic sense, because people confuse women’s liberation with the genuine liberation of women.
Seeing your worth as a woman simply means as a female you have the power. It means you have the power of choice. You can choose to get your knight in shining armor. You do not have to grasp whatever is out there. You have magic that guys do not have. You have this certain je ne sais quoi.
You need to understand this je ne sais quoi power. You do not want to be a compromiser. Do not date ‘cool guys’ and feel like someone cares about you and loves you even if he is a bit of a man-boy. My recommendation is to marry a prince.
As a rule, women do not see their worth. It is crucial that you start seeing your worth as a female. This amazing value comes from the Divine as a gift. It is a free gift. It is not earned but you have it already. You can reject this idea but people who misuse their gift pay a heavy karmic price and often live tragic lives.
Let’s be honest here, up until middle school and sometimes beyond, even in college, girls rule. They generally study harder, are more responsible and have been taught self-confidence (maybe too much by our society), and tend to make good choices. Then hormones kick in and like a big storm washes away anything but the most solid foundations.
Too good for any man – Enter Hormones
These hormones override much of their rational thinking and female self-esteem plummets. I do not know if it is part of the evolutionary program or not. Because women are superior in so many ways from a behavioral standpoint at that juncture, that without these hormonal changes women would probability perceive themselves as ‘too good for any men’.
Some women are drunk with ego feel this way until they are 30 years old and then it is too late.
Why is this? Nature sets women up to take care of the family, and be responsible earlier. That is why they are given so much. Then it is time to start thinking about mate selection for later life.
These hormones which are unbridled often drive women to go for guys that they should not be involved with. They comprise their values because they do not see their worth.
- Romantic love brings people together than never should be brought together.
There is one solution, that will correct your course. You want to jettison modern values and be that fairy-tale princess who we as humans all have in our collective unconsciousness.
Once you realize your power starts to shape and harness it. Refine it or you will be an amorphous blob of unactualized potential.
How to be a princess
- If you do not know how to start, do this: develop a prayer routine. With prayer you will move mountains.
It could be coupled with regular church attendance. If you have a problem with that, I can not help you as God is the source of all love and if you do not want to even build your connection to the primal source then I do not know what ideas will attach to you and guide your life.
Better than the “laws of attraction” is to read the Bible in the evening before bed. I am sorry if you think it sounds fanatical but it is not, it is you taping into the infinite source of love.
Women, see your worth as a Divine gift from God to humanity. Do not cheapen yourself because of appetitive drives or feelings of low self-worth. Do not go for the first guy that pays attention to you. If you have done this, breaking the pattern and finding redemption is your commitment to your core values.
Stop the online dating addiction
One idea is to stay off meeting guys online. If you meet a guy online, they will not respect you. This study hints at why people prefer online relationships over face-to-face risk-taking. Since so many people modify their images these days the time efficiency argument is not as strong. When you meet them they are often not cordial.
Self esteem and online relationships
The above study suggests a correlation between online interpersonal relationships and self-esteem. I think the results are interesting.
Place your phone in the driveway under your car
Better yet. Take your phone, put it in your driveway, and run over it. Now you do not have a pacifier to keep you happy. You can keep a piece of it and make jewelry out of it to remind you of the dark love relationship you had with your cell phone. You might have even watched ‘corn’ on it. Your cell phone is keeping you from self-development as you are too ADD to contemplate life anymore.
Meeting a guy online does not make the guy work enough for you. He has to earn it to be graced by your presence. He earns it by having the courage to approach you in person rather than behind the safety of a digital screen.
Dating apps are is safe but gutless
And you, feel so safe with dating apps as you can screen out people that do not match your criteria efficiency and get some ego gratification while you at it. You are in full control. In my mind that is gutless. Coward.
Live like there is no tomorrow and put away Tinder and Snapchat.
Retro ideas that work
Play to win and take risks and put yourself in physical places you will meet guys:
• Church – You will not go wrong here
• College classes – no matter what age you will surround yourself with educated people and your life will improve
• Travel to Europe or anywhere around the world – Better is to quit your job and camp out by a volcano for a month or something.
• Join a permaculture group – a lot of ecofriendly aware guys
• Join a chess club – lots of smart guys
• Landmark Forum – People striving to better themselves
• Baptiste Yoga teacher training – Hipster guys with a heart
You will have to start to think of radical action to change your life. If you do not, you will lose.
How to refine yourself
Make yourself a princess by refining yourself. I give a lot of ideas on this site, however, the most important point, online dating coaches and online shrinks will not tell you, is to pray. Pray that God in heaven will help you improve yourself and refine yourself in ways that will help your life and lead to the love of your life.