Category: Romanticism

This page contains a useful list of  love quotes in Italian for him and for her. The Italian language,  is the language of love,  just go to Rome, Milan or Naples, and you will understand what I mean. Imagine driving the Amalfi coast in a convertible or  in a gondola in Venice. Was not Romeo and Juliet from Italy?

Further, words of love in Italian and Romantic and love phrases are a great way to attract someone are great to get someone’s attention.  Even if your rapport is in English, if someone has even a remote connection to the Apennine Peninsula then you sprinkle a few phrases in Italian at the right moment and you are in. Similarly if you text message someone or do a mobile chat and put a few Italian words in, it can theoretically raise your creditability as someone who is cosmopolitan.

Modern Italian is a derivative of Latin and hence easy to use if you are an English speaker, as Latin has had an influence over our language. It is interesting to note in the regions of Italy people speak dialect rather than proper Italian. However, if I were to speak a love quotes use the Italian language  as it is more universal.

Love phrases in the Italian language

• Come dire che amate? – How to say that I you love?
• Ti amo – I love you
• Tu sei una stella, la mia stella – You are a star, my star
• Sto cadendo nell’amore con voi – I am falling in love with you
• Non posso vivere senza voi – I can’t live without you
• Il mio cuore è per voi – My heart is for you
• Gradisco voi di più e più – I like you more and more
• La mia stella brillante! – My shining star!
• Al mio amore – To my darling
• Ti amo con tutta l’anima – I love you with all my heart
• Mi manchi – I miss you
• Un milione di baci – Love and kisses
• Parole circa amore – Words about love
• tutti coloro che amano – all who love
• essere innamorato di – be in love with
• innamorarsi – fall in love
• innamoramento – falling in love
• per amore – for love
• amore vietato – forbidden love
• Dare il tuo amore – Give your love
• invaghito – in love
• gioco d’amore – love game
• lettera d’amore – love letter
• storia d’amore – love story
• amore mio- my love
• Come iniziare a comunicare – How to start to talk
• Ciao, bella (bello). Posso offrirti qualcosa da bere? – Hello, beautiful (or handsome). Can I buy you a drink?
• Balliamo? – Would you like to dance with me?
• Fa cosi caldo qui o e la tua presenza –  Is it cordial in here, or is it just you?
• Com’è il vino? – How’s the wine?
• È una bella giornata, no? – It’s a beautiful day, no?
• Stai da solo – Are you alone?
• Voglio vederti stasera – I want to see you tonight.
• Le vostre sensibilità – Your feelings
• Siete la mia aria – You are my air
• You siete la donna che più bella ho visto mai – You are my airYou are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
• Stavo sognando di voi – I was dreaming about you
• Per favore non dimenticarmi! – Please do not forget me!
• Sei la mia anima gemella. – You’re my soulmate.
• Voglio passare il resto della mia vita con te. – I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
• Questa è la tua risposta? Non mi ami più? Come mai puoi lasciarmi senza risolvere il nostro  roblema? Sono molto arrabbiata/o. Mi hai tradito. – Is this your answer? Don’t you love me anymore? Why you can leave me without solving our problem? I am very upsad. You betray me.
• Lo sposereste? – Would you marry me?
• Nozze – Wedding
• Chiedere per un data – Asking for a date
• Andate al cinematografo con me? – You go to the cinema with me?
• Desiderate spendere domani sera con me? – Do you want to spend tomorrow evening with me?
• Domani alla stessa ora? – So, same time tomorrow?
• Penso che non abbiamo per caso raduno – I think we haven’t meet each other by chance
• Quando veniamo a contatto di ancora? – When we meet again?

Want to know more about love Italian style? I am both an American and European and live in both places, I have meaningful insights into relationships from a European perspective Go to my page on Italian girls.

This page has simply my favorite English words of love and love phrases win the heart of a romantic.

Why being romantic is the only way to live

I had always been a romantic.  Being painfully lonely as a teen, when other guys were playing football and scoring with ladys, I was reading Jane Austen and Bronte and Lord of the Rings of course.  I got the last laugh because they married young and often the wrong girl. I married my beautiful princess who gives me happiness everyday of my life.

• What do the jerks and A-h_les, know about pain and regret? Nothing and that is your power.

Being romantic and authentic is better than being the captain of the football team or a  going to a top school or having looks like a model, or money, when it comes to getting the girl or guy from your imagination. Dreamy romantics will always prevail in love. I promise.

I recommend you look at the are of my site that deals with dating, the navigation is found at the bottom of the page.

Anyway, if you are looking for phrases you can text message or SMS on your cell phone to a girl or tell her in person here are a few below.

If you want  words to charm and enchant someone use the expressions mixed in with your own feelings or use them as a base for your own words. Just try some of these, they may seem corny but they work.

• Love sees with the heart and not with the eyes-Shakespeare
• The course of true love never did run smooth-Shakespeare
• All night long I was searching for you, and there you were waiting for me all along -Lestat
• I know nothing of eloquent words of silvery speech, but when I think of you I can not help myself – Mark Biernat
• You are from my dreams and the unspoken longings of my heart.
• I know nothing of sweet words or eloquent speak, if I say anything pleasing to you, its because you bring it out in me.
• Love conquers all
• Love does not alter which it find – Shakespeare
• Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold. – Zelda Fitzgerald
• Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein
• Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove, Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks. – John Donne
• Who so loves believes the impossible. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning
• You make my heart skip a beat when you come into the room.

Some people think the English tradition is not romantic, I tend to disagree as I point out the literature and written word in books that deeply moving. Growing up I had romantic idealistic view of the world thanks to writers like Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë.

Learn more about love I have another part of my website about dating, love and marriage. Many people meet and chat on this site even though it is not a dating site but more of a conservation about love and dating here -> Girls of London and the UK.

I have lived in Eastern Europe and traveled to Moscow, St. Petersburg, and the Russian countryside. As a person who is Slavic and lives in both America and Eastern Europe, I can honestly say I feel the people here are romantic. I am not just some guy putting phrases up; I live here and there. At the bottom of this page, I have navigation to my pages on how to win the heart of a Russian from an insider’s perspective. I highly recommend it; I am a total insider regarding Eastern Europe and love.

If you want a Russian lady friend, make her fall in love with you by your words. Most of these girls have had a classical education and respect eloquent speech. It could be in a text message, e-mail, or chat. It does not matter.  If pentameter is your forte, you will be unstoppable. However, you do not have to such time to develop a silvery tongue, use my love quotes for her (or him) below.

Russian words of romantic love and phrases to win the heart of a Russian princess. I have compiled a list of Russian phrases and their pronunciation to help you win the heart of your true love. However, if you want to go the extra mile and do something sincere for your beloved, learn Russian. You can use these on your mobile phone for texting or a tete-a-tete.  But either way, I am an expert on Slavic culture and dating, so ask questions.

If you want to know how to win the heart of a Russian for love, please try a few of these lines, they will achieve the desired affect on her (or him), that is surprise and scoring a few points.

Since the unproved and unjust invasion of Ukraine, I would recommend learning Ukrainian, not Russian, love phrases, as I do not want to be associated with anyone who does not support Ukraine. If they are Russian, ask them directly about their view on this invasion as a criterion for continuing the relationship. If they do not support Ukraine, walk away.

If they are Russian and clearly state they support Ukraine, then all is well, and proceed.

I love you in the Russian language

• Я тебя люблю – Ya tebyA lyublyU – I love you
• С любовью – S lyubOv’yu- With love
• Lubov’-eto to, shto nel’z’a pon’at holovoy, yeye nuzhno pochuvstvovat’ sercem. – Love that is what you cann’t understand, you should feel it in your heart.
• Но жизнь – это когда Любишь. – No zhyzn’- eto kohda lubish. -But life is when you love
• Если ты любишь меня так же, как говоришь, пожалуйста будь осторожен с моим сердцем. Ты можешь взять его, только не разбей, или мой мир распадется на кусочки! –
  Esli ty lubish menia ta zhe, kak hovorish, pozhalusta bud’ ostorozhen c moim sercem. Ty mozhesh vzat’ evo, tolko ne razbey, ili moy mir raspadots’a na kusochki! – If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it, just don’t break it, or my world will fall apart!
• Вот моё сердце. Оно полно любви. – Vot moe serce. Ono polno lubvi. – Here is my heart. It is full of love.
• Ты мне нравищся. -Ty mne nravishs’a – I like you.

Terms of endearment and love

• Милая моя – MIlaya moyA – My sweet
• Солнышко моё – Solnyshko moyo -My sun
• Дорогая моя – DorogAya moyA -My dear

Marriage

• Ты выйдешь за меня? – Ti viy-desh za me-nyA? – Will you marry me?
  моя судьба – Tee ma-yA sud’-bA. -You are my destiny

Complements

• Ti takaya krasivaya – You are so attractive
• Ti takaya privlekatel’naya – You are so pretty
• Ti takaya prelesnaya – You are so cute
• Ti milaya – You are sweet
• Ti takaya chustvitel’naya – You are sensitive
• Ты такая красивая – Ti takAya krasIvaya – You are so beautiful
• Ты такая милая – Ti takAya mIlaya – You are so sweet
• У Тебя прелесные глаза. – U teb’a prelesnye hlaza. – Your eyes are beautiful.

Greeting

• hello – hallo
• Zdravstvuyte – Good morning

Expressions of love

• Не запомний меня. – Ne zapomnyy obo mne. – Don’t forget about me.
• Любовь – это то, что нельзя понять головой, ее нужно почувствовать сердцем.
• В арифметике любви один плюс один равно все, а два минус один равно ничто. – V arifmetike lubi odia plus odia ravno vse, vse dva minus odia ravno nichto. –
  In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
• Женщина лишь тогда верит слову “люблю”, когда оно сказано тихо и просто. – Zhenshhina lish tohda verit’ slovu lublu, kohda ono skazano tiho i prosto. – Woman believs in word “love” only when it is said simply and quietly.
• Любовь – заболевание нежностью. – Lubov’ -zabolevanie nezhnost’u. – Love is illness of sensibility.
• Любовь – это наркотик. – Lubov eto narkotik. -Love is a drug.
• Женщина Любит. Мужчина учится Любить. – Zhenshhina l’ubit. Muzhchina uchits’a lubit’. – Woman loves. Man learns how to love..
  Для тебя, ради тебя и за тебя жизнь моя! – Dla teb’a, radi teb’a i za teb’a zhyzn’ maya! -For you, because of you and to you is my life!
• Пусть меня запрут в твоем сердце, а ключ выбросят. – Pust’ men’a zaprut v votem serce, a kluch wybros’at. – Let they close me in your hart and let they throug out the cay.
• Люблю, целую, обнимаю – В общем просто обожаю! – Lublu, celuyu, obozhayu. Vobshem prosto obozhayu. – I love, I kiss, I embrance. All in all I’m fascinated.
• Если б каждый раз, когда я думаю о тебе, падала бы звезда, то луна стала бы одинокой – Eslib kazhdiy raz koda ya dumayu o tebe padala by zvezda, to luna stalaby odinokoy. – If everytime I thought about you star falls down, moon would be lonely.
• Меня учили, что в часе 60 минут, что в минуте- 60 секунд. Но меня никто никогда не учил, что секунда без тебя- это вечность. – Men’a uchili shto v chase 60 minut, shto v minute 60 sekund. No men’a nikto nikohda ne uchil, shto sekunda bez teb’a eto vechnost’. -I learned that there is 60 minutes in an hour, that there is 60 seconds in a minute, but no one has tought me tha second without you is eternity.
• Весь мир не стоит и гроша eсли рядом НЕТ – ТЕБЯ! – Ves’ mir ne stoit ni grosha, yesli r’adom net teb’a. – The world doesn’t cost anything, when you aren’t near me.
• Красивым кажется всё, на что смотришь с любовью. – Krasivym kazhets’a vso na shto spotrish s lubov’u. – wonderful is everything you look at with love.

If you would have a passion for Russian women, here is a part of my site that might perk – our interest. It is a area that deals with dating a Russian girls for ideal love. It gives specific advice you can implement.

Here are my pages on exactly how to win a Russian girl.

Russian literature has always been a passion of mine for a specific reason. I can recommend Russian novels if you feel similar. Below, is not your traditional perspective, so hold on to your hats.

Social isolation promotes introspection  – I grew up in cold snowy New England and went to an all boys English boarding school. It was the ultimate in isolation from women. If you think you are alone and separate from the world with no great social life with the opposite gender, well, welcome to the club, a lot of people feel this way. A combination of living under dark skies and no romantic connections was great fuel for a life in my imagination. Kind of like a social sensory deprivation tank.  The pain of loneliness works in a strange way on those who are intellectually curious. This made me dream of women only from afar.  It did not hurt I was also of Slavic background. If your ancestry came from Eastern Europe you might be able to relate.

Therefore, in my adolescent imaginative life, I combined all these elements together and somehow found an escape in romantic Russian literature and Russian poetry. Romantic Russian literature was substance for my soul.

Are you a romantic or can relate to the pain of life? It does not matter how you became romantic or craved stories of intense hardship books by Russian authors contain drama that puts reality TV and the world we live in to shame. The characters are so real and vivid because they were often based on real people or archetypes of people, and the appeal is the aha moment when you way, ‘I have experienced something similar’.  This is why Russian literature might have an appeal for you. If you want a romantic journey into Russian literature I recommend the following reading list:

Below is a relatively superficial list of my personal favorites. I could write a novel on Slavic literature. It feels different from a soulful stand point then Western literature. However, the below list are my personal favorites. I would be interested in hearing yours. Leave a comment if you can. I would love to start a dialogue connected to dreamy Romantic literature and poetry and see if anyone feels the same.

By the way if you  feel lonely and have no contact with the opposite gender you might also be interested in my post here romantic and alone.

Checkhov describes ‘moments’

Women often say ‘it was a moment’ to describe a romantic interlude or some interaction that never should have been nor had a future. I started with the Short stories of Anton Chekhov. In Europe people read his short stories, in the USA he is known for his plays. I like his short stories. My favorite at the time being a short story called “The Kiss”.

The Kiss was about a young man who was at a party and accidentally kissed by a woman, as she entered a dark room and thought it was her love. I loved this idea as I was distant from any women living in small town New England. I imagined like the main character in the story that somehow, a girl would find me or whether it was mistaken or real. And fall in love with me.

If you feel lonely and detached I can recommend this story.

Anything by Dostoevsky for answers to life deep questions

Although not directly Romantic literature, it is romantic in the sense that it speaks of the loneliness and pain of being human. It is hard to be a good moral person in this world and all of Dostoevsky’s books challenge the reader with these issues. It brings you to a deeper level. Forget Freud and the mental ‘master_ bate _ shun’ of modern psychology, Dostoevsky has a greater insight into the human mind.

Dostoevsky explored human psychology in a spiritual content. The ideas are universal. How can you not be an interesting person if you dive into the experiential pain of the characters of a Dostoevsky novel.

I used to dream of meeting a girl who loved Dostoevsky like I did, a mix of beauty, virtue and intellect.

Anna Karenina – the ultimate girl to date

I always wanted a girl like Anna Karenina, mildly depressed and nothing to live for. Why? I felt the same. Who does not want to meet a deep meaningful person who has goodness in them but lost their way? From a man’s perspective, we want to rescue these lost souls, I think it is encoded in our genetic desire to save and take care of women.

Nikolai Gogol – liberal or conservative – the original Matrix story

Dead Souls was a metaphor both political and culturally. Never been one for political literature, however, in the context of a spiritual novel it does fall into Romantic Russian literate. Maybe you could think of the way, corporations or the government (depending on where you fall on the political spectrum) use people, almost trade their souls for a pittance. How we live lives of quite desperation.

A modern Russian romantic
Sergei Lukyanenko is a sci-fi writer who like Anne Rice deals with a Gothic romantic idea. Although I think the theme has been a little over played in teenage literature, I would classify Sergei Lukyanenko as a Russian romantic writer. Specific not science fiction but more the genre he choose to act out his drama, in a fantastical realm, but again the charters are archetypes.

5 epochs of in Russian literature

Early writings – From the Ukrainian classic of the Primary Chronicles from the Kievian period of Rus to Trediakovsky (the start of ‘enlightenment literature from Peter the great’s time).

Golden age of Russian literature – The 19th century, names like Turgenev (on my my favorites), Leskov, Saltykov-Scchedrin. Ler,pmtov. And the names mentioned above in my list.

Silver age of Russian Writers – This includes 20th century literature before Communism. Mostly poetry and names like Kuprin, and Bunin and Mayakovsky.

Communist era literature – Alexander Solzhenitsyn a Slavophile holding the flame of Russian culture during this dark era is the icon of the time.

Modern Russian literature – things are a lot less serious now, and literature for me has more of a fantastic or fantasy feel to it. I think it again reaches into escapism from the drudgery of everyday life.

Resources to explore about Russian Romantic literature

I created a page on romantic Russian lines. It needs to be updated but still does the job.

I created a website just for the Russian language, it has a full free grammar course. I will not created a link as I do not want to interlink my own websites but here it is learnrussianlearnrussian.com – Crazy name I know.

You can go to my blog about love and dating. I created a guide to Russian girls and how to meet them. It is an interesting fast read.

Thank you and I would love to hear your personal experiences with Romantic Russian literature.

Caution: only use love phrases if you mean it, they are very powerful

If you have the courage of your convictions, read on. This page contains love quotes for him and her, but a lot more.

For guys – I used a lot of these phrases during the dating phase of my relationship. They work. Women are moved by words in the same was as men are stimulated by visual appeal. So if you want text them on your phone or whisper then in their ears they will reply.

For girls – If you are a guy looking for a girl you need no convincing that words have power, they are metaphors and abstractions for deep feelings that can not truly be expressed. It is the way we humans share and try to touch each other in our isolation.

• Camus believed that in the first primordial scream in the forest when man realized his aloneness on this planet, language was born.

Love Phrases in several languages for you to use or text message

• SMS Spanish quotes of sentiment in the Spanish language – here – From Te quero to Mi amor, a nice list of Spanish enchantment phrases here to impress your loved one.
• Text message- French for I love you – here – From Je t’aime, Je t’adore-a good selection of More French romantic sentences to woe your French sweetheat, lover or beloved.
• Polish  – Kocham ciebie, and other Polish love expressions- here – on this page to sweep your Polish princess off her feet and have her fall hopelessly in love with you.
• Italian love phrases here – Words of romance in Italian – Ideas in Italian about marriage. Ti amo and morer For Italian romance words – to sing up to the bedroom window of your Juliet, your true love.
• German here – How to say I love you in German – Ich liebe dich, and even more A page of German love terms – to greet your beloved.
  Do Russians feel love? Yes, how deeply?
• Russian here – Я тебя люблю, a good reference of Russian love quotes – to enthrall your lovely Russian darling.
• Ukrainian here – Я ВАС КОХАЮ compendium of Ukrainian love proverbs – to charm you Ukrainian princess for true love.
• English here – The most used language of English and romantic phrases – I love you, an eloquent list of English language amorousness terms to help win the one you love.

This page guides you to love phrases in foreign languages. You can choose your target language above. I intent to add more in the future:

How to text romantic words

If you use this for mobile communication, simply copy and paste them into a mobile text message. Send it to him or her and add your own lines around the phrases to emphasis how you feel.

How to use Love phrases in a text message to get her or him to like you

My recommendation is add something specific such as:

The last time I saw you in class in that white t-shirt and jeans, I wanted to walk up to you and tell you (insert a love quote from below) but instead I will text you as I am painfully shy and dare not speak so forward without a better cordial rapport.

Every man deserves a wife that is good to him. Women deserve a man that is there for her. It is that simple. I teach this on my website. You can go here to for more on the human experience of love, dating and how to get married.

I grew up in New England as an idealistic young man and I believed in love. The world showed me differently. I had to go through a long series of trials and tribulations to redeem this vision. If you feel the same I recommend exploring my part of this website on dating and love. It is thematically related to dating but more about how to attract a mate.

How to use the words on this site:

• Texting romantic words – use these line to SMS or Text a girl or guy in a foreign language. Works like a charm.
• Dating in person –  Lines to use on girls or guys. Yes, lines even if they are cheesy work. If you say I love you in the native language of your target partner, she will respond, I am sure of it.  Love see with the heart and not with the eyes and think of it this way, women are moved by their ears with words like men are with their eyes. Use these if you want to win a heart in the courtship process.
• Creative expression – Those looking for romantic expression you can use to inspire yourself, perhaps as a  create poetry or a letter.
• Languages – you just have, like me, an interest in languages

In life I have had a hard time, but in love I am lucky.  I am very happily married to my princess from across the seas. She transformed by life. If you ever meet the one you are suppose to be with leave your job, you parents, your life and give it all up for love. I did, and live without regret.

The future enters into use in order to transform itself in us, long before it happens – control your own destiny.

Word and wisdom – Above are collections of of words from the heart which you can deploy to move and win a girl or guy. You can speak or text with your mobile phone these words of devotion in English, Spanish, French, Italian, Polish, Russian, German and Ukrainian are great to win the moment; however, if you want to win someone’s heart, learn a little more of their language.

Also I  write a lot how to get a date and win a partner on other areas of my website. This is some of my wisdom if you want some substance behind the words.

• Looking for the big L? Go here -> How to find love.

Why I am an expert on Ukrainian love  – I am American but also Ukrainian, married a girl from Eastern Europe, and lived there for a decade.   I can tell you that Ukrainian women respond to love phrases and words of love in the Ukrainian language. Below is a list of love phrases in Ukrainian for her or him. You can text message on your mobile phone or speak to win a girl’s hand. If you have questions about Ukrainian culture or dating, ask in the comment area below.

Remember, the purpose of marriage is to help your spouse get to heaven.

Words, not money, win a Ukrainian heart – Yes, words are the way to win your Ukrainian princess for happily ever after.  This contrasts the hypermaterialism in the West, where jobs and possessions impress.

In particular, western Ukraine in the Lviv area has experienced a revival of the language, and Ukrainian has always been spoken over Russian. It is the official language of the country, even in Kiev Russian is being displaced again. Everywhere but Eastern Ukraine, which has a greater Russian influence. Learn to woe a girl with a few Ukrainian phrases and a good heart from the Black Sea to the Carpathian mountains.

Many people ask me if I should learn a few phrases and expressions in Russian or Ukrainian. I say Ukrainian unless she is from a specific region. If you have any questions, I am an expert on this part of the world and social relationships. At the bottom, you will see a navigation to my pages more specific to Ukrainian dating, but feel free to leave a comment here.

So please take out your mobile phones and text away or speak to them face to face. The transliteration will do if your keyboard or phone does not have Cyrillic fonts. Until you learn the Ukrainian alphabet (which is phonetic, hint hint), then transliteration is the best translation for you.

I love you

• Я ВАС КОХАЮ – ja vas kohaju – I love you
• Ya tebe kahayu – I love you
• КОХАННЯ – kohannja – Lovey (said as a term of endearment to person)
• Як сказати, що любиш –  Yak skazaty shho liubysh – How to say I love you
• Ти подобаєшся мені все більше й більше –  Ty podobaeshsia meni vse bilshe i bilshe- I love you more and more.

Romantic expressions

• Кохання – це двоє –  Kochania tse dwoje – Love is two person.
• Моє серце бє тільки для Тебе! – Moye serce bye tilky dla Tebe! – My heart is for you!
• Ти моє повітря – Ty moe povitria  – You are my air
  Я без Тебе вже не можу жити –  Ya bez tebe vzhe ne mozhu zhyty – I can’t live without you
• Ти снилась мені цієї ночі – Ty snylas’ meni ciei nochi – I’ve been dreaming about you last night
• Ти моє повітря – Ty moe povitria – You are my air
• Я без Тебе вже не можу жити – Ya bez tebe vzhe ne mozhu zhyty – I cann’t live without you
• Ти снилась мені цієї ночі – Ty snylas’ meni ciei nochi – I’ve been dreaming about you last night
• Я думаю, ми зустрілися не випадково – Ya dumayu, my zustrilys’a ne vypadkovo – I think we haven’t met each other by chance
• Справжня любов не знає міри і кордонів –  Sprawznia lubo ne znaye miry i kordoniv – True love doesn’t know any measures and borders
• Закохатися з першого погляду – це ж скільки часу й коштів заощаджується! – Zakochatys’a z pershoho posladu-ce zh skil’ky chasu i koshtiv zaoshhadzhuets’a! – Fall in love from the first look-so many time is saved
• Кохати -значить жити життям того, кого кохаєш – Kohaty-znachyt’ zhyty zhytt’am toho, koho kohaesh – Love means live life of those, whom you love
• Не тримайте своє серце закритим! Кохайте і будьте коханими! – Ne trymajte svoe serce zakrytym! Kohaite i bud’te kohanymy! – Have yours hart open. Love and be loved
• Як запросити на побачення – Yak zaprosyty na pobachennia –  Asking for a date.
• Ти занята вечером? – Ty zanyata vecherom? – Are you busy this evening?
• Я хочу побачитися з Тобою! – Ya hocu pobacytysya z Toboyu! – I want to met with you.
• Ми побачимося знову? – My pobachymos’a znovu? – Will we meet ever again?
• Сходимо разом в кіно? – Sxodymo razom v kino? – Do you want to go to the cinema with me?
• А Ти любиш фільми про любов? – A Ty l’ubyshh fil’my pro ljubov? – Do you love films about love?
• Ця квітка для Тебе –  Cya kvitka dla Tebe – This flower is for you
• Tи просто чарівна! – Ty prosto charivna! –  You are simply beauty.
• Ти така красива! – Ty taka krasyva! – You are so beautiful
• Ти найкращий мужчина – Ty naykrashhyy muzhchyna -You are the best man.
• Це був красивий вечір – Tse buv krasyvyy vecir – It was nice evening.
• Нам необхідно буде його повторити – Nam neobxidno bude joho povtoryty – We could spend it once more time.
• Весілля – Vesill’a – Wedding
• Ми будемо разом? – My budemo razom? – Do you want to stay with me?
• Я хочу провести з Тобою ціле моє життя – Ya xochu protesty z Toboju cile moje zhyttja – I want to spend with you all my life.
• Поцілунок – Pocilunok – Kiss.
• Я ХОЧУ З ВАМИ ОДРУЖИТЬСЯ – ja hochu z vamy odruzhyt’sja – I’d like to marry you
• Ти подобаєшся мені все більше й більше – Ty podobaeshsia meni vse bilshe i bilshe – I love you more and more.
• ВИ НАЙКРАЩА ЖІНКА У СВІТІ – vy najkrash’a zhinka u sviti – You’re the best woman in the world
• ЦЕ НАЙКРАЩІЙ ДЕНЬ У МОЄМУ ЖИТТІ – tse najkrash’ij den’ u mojemu zhytti – It’s the best day in my life

Go here if you want to know ->  how to date Ukrainian girls 

When traveling through time and space is it better to follow your every whim and desire unfettered? Do I like to play life by my rules and have it my way? Absolutely.

Or is it better to have a partner, which comes sacrifice and compromise? Someone to watch to watch my back for me when things get cordial. Someone to breath new courage in my when my own heart fails.

I have done both. My verdict is unequivocally, a partner is eons better, no comparison.

Every globe-trotting player/gentlemen traveler or Indiana Jones adventurer I know would ultimately starts to self destruct or falter if they do it alone. Some have good runs and enjoy their illusionary freedom and hedonistic romps, however, in the end something happens.

For example, one of my friends is a drinker, another a gambler another caught a disease despite extreme precautions, another somehow after a life of being skinny and fit got corpulent and bald almost overnight. Girls self destruct even faster because they fade into obscurity as the new crop of twenty something women catch men’s eyes.

It is almost like nature has programmed humanoids  that fly solo through their life for self-destruction.  Even if you do Zen meditation and eat right, it seems something in the fabric of the cosmos starts to tear around you, unexpectedly. I can not explain. I see it over and over again. The arrogance of youth is trumped by life. I used to think people who were sick were had a mental problem or did it to themselves. How naive I was, even if there is a causal relationship from your spiritual body to your physical body it is not one to one.

From an evolutionary perspective among primates children of monogamous parents have greater protein and protection and their parents DNA has a greater chance to proliferate in the future and do great things.

In contrast the evolutionary ‘spread your seed’ folks seem to have offspring that have a difficult time in life. Only with the help of a social state to these people survive.

The newest research supports monogamy as the choice current in evolution.

From a Christian perspective monogamy and staying with your spouse is clear.

To get married or not to get married?  – that is the question

Being married and monogamous is the way to be

• Courage – Your wife will instill courage and check your moral compass in check in a way that in congruent to your ideals.
• Proverbial rolls in the hay are one of the main reason to get married – You will get a lot more physical action. Unless you have complete control and access to a full-time night girl you can not keep up with married people who can do it all the time. My mantra is find someone who you are cordial for, and really is from your boyhood fantasy. She does not have to be the perfect Pcordialoshop Cover Girl, you would pleasure yourself to in say Self Magazine or your favorite girly website. Rather she has to just have that ‘je ne sais quoi’ for you.
• It is not about being happy – Viktor Frankl – I was getting a haircut at your local strip mall place this weekend and my stylist was hitting on me. Besides the fact that I am married, I have no idea in what dream world she thinks she could snag me. She is divorced and looking for a sugar daddy (I do not make that much). She explained to me, like all American women explain to me, they just were not that happy in their marriage/ relationship. She said she got one of those turbo divorces in two weeks.  My rebuttal is, marriage is not about being happy, nor is life. You are here to be humble servants of God. You stay married in sickness and in health and happiness and unhappiness and through this experience a higher meaning is revealed to you. I am not casting judgement on those who have made youthful trivial mistakes and have no children, but those who have a family. Life has a quality that goes beyond happiness, it is called meaning. I recommend Viktor Frankl’s book ‘Man’s search for meaning’.
• Complex stratification of reality – Unless you are base because your brain has atrophied from checking your mobile phone too often or you are culturally deprived from being a latchkey kid and parents did not care enough about you to guide you to higher ideals or you waffled in Woody Allen type existential anxiety and perpetual adolescence, eventually you will find you need transcendence. Every human needs transcendence. Being a peaceful warrior mystic monk gets old after a while. In contrast being married does not if you catch the right one.
  I have been my wife for years and daily, when I least expect it, I make quantum leaps and discover new aspects about life and existence I could never have single. These are usually manifest in experiences rather than something I could convey.
• Male female schism – Have you ever gone into a ladys place and noticed how nice and comfy it looks. Contrary to all this talk about man caves etc, guys like nice Martha Stewart/ Coastal Living type places, they just do not have the time or focus to make it so. When you have a partner you place looks great. You might want to revisit the Star trek episode ‘Spock’s Brain’.
• Money –   In contrast to being single, being married and monogamous seems to have rewards not talked about often, that is monetary. If you have read Napoleon Hill’s books, few single people really are successful in life because they dissipate their libidinous energies. Napoleon Hill was commissioned by one of the kings of capital of Old to study why some men succeed in life while others fail. Being partnered has a lot to do with it.
• Safety not guaranteed – If you want a quirky movie to illustrate some of these points I recommend ‘Safety not Guaranteed’.

The bottom line is: As you travel through time and space you want to have someone to watch your back for you when the heat gets cordial. If you do not understand this I can not explain it to you. Perhaps you have not really lived or faced certain death. If you want to unplug from your adolescent illusions, walls and rituals that protect you and live as a man, try getting married. You just have to capture the right one and it will all be OK and your real life will begin.

If you need advice on how or why to break the cycle of being single or question why you need to, leave a comment. If you like what I have written share this post. I think it benefits others to hear the truth about partnership from someone who has been around the world and back and has some perspective.

Why do you not have a girl or guy to date or at least the right one? That is the question. Here is the answer. The purpose of this post is to address the issues of why people are perpetually single or make the wrong choices from a philosophical perspective. Philosophy and epistemology is what makes and breaks hearts.

You want to put away childish things and look at the world with eyes that piece through the veil of reality and get to the root of the matter. With X-ray eyes of perception you will be empowered to choose the right partner in love. It is that simple. So lets start with a deeper look.

The problem – Reality is stratified and few people see it
German philosopher Georg Hegel and radical Swiss theologian Hans Kung, have correctly argued there is a complex stratification of reality. Life is not just about a what we see experience with our sensory organs which impress on the tabula rasa of our brain and its genetic background. Nor is this idea of a stratification of reality to be interpreted in a supernatural way. Rather it is an epistemological assertions that in addition to the here and now, and obvious day-to-day realm we operate in, there are other layers of reality that influences our lives in concrete ways.

Some of these layers the human brain can understand, others are beyond the physical brain’s ability to comprehend because of its constructional limitations at this point in our evolution. For example, just like a dog can not see colors, because of the limitations of a dog’s brain, it does not mean colors do not exist. Similarly, just because a monkey’s brain does not understand the notion of planetary orbits, gravity or weather patterns, does not mean these things are not real. Yet the dog and monkey’s world is adequately explained in the world they operate in. However, there are things beyond their grasp that are real. Further they all influence their life’s in ways unseen, even if subtly and indirectly.

The question to us is what is beyond the human brain to grasp? Even if determinist Stephen Hawking explains the mysteries of the universe, he has not, because our brains do not have enough physical layers.

Your role as a human is to increase your awareness of the multi-layers of relativity as much as is possible, so to operate in a more effective way as a human. This includes in the critical area of dating and love. When you make mistakes in dating and romance is is most likely because one person or both is not aware of the layers of reality that are in play during the courtship process.

• Consider that if you expand your geographical reach and date foreign women the number of probable matches increases exponentially. It is not just about finding a psychological and philosophical match but about the blocks you have in your brain.  It is all about knocking down walls in your mind. Why not date Indian or Polish women if they are more spiritual and kinder in a higher percentage than you find in your area? If you are a Christian would you date another religion?

Are all carnal mistakes just a matter of ignorance?

Plato asserted that all deviations from virtue was really based on ignorance. A man would not consciously commit an act that would be harmful if they would see the whole reality. Rather what separated a good man from a bad was wisdom. This is true in dating. We make wrong choices not out of intent, but rather imperfect knowledge of the reality of the world. We choose the wrong girls or guys because, we do not see all aspects of their psyche. I believe this is partly true.  Many of use have eyes and ears and brains that understand this at a conceptual level but we still make wrong choices. We know and hear the truth but we are weak.

A common sense conceptual framework to operate your game with – Maslow

The reader’s digest version of what this means when choosing a mate, with an understanding of something like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It could be any conceptual model you like, but leaping with your head as well as your heart in love makes a lot of sense. Of course no one ever does, including myself because like Blaise Pascal said:

The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.

However, I still believe a level of awareness is important to choosing the right mate. And when flirting and dating think of this model below. Look a little closer at life because it might be related to finding the right girl.

When you are looking at individual humans from a psychological standpoint, I have always been partial towards Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in bringing this to a concrete model. Or for a more radical view, Victor Frankel’s Meaning of life question. These are just conceptual models mind you. However, you need to understand how humans interact and operate if you want to choose the right mate. Both psychologist I can recommend that go beyond the self-help books.

• Regarding the above image – lets be honest here, most women in the USA have an inordinate focus on safety and achievement (respect). I focus on the other three.

Experience with a price
I speak from experience. I have done both. You do not need to go to such extremes as I did, as all magic comes with a price. I paid a heavy toll to become aware. I recommend the middle way. Stay true to your ideals but also your drives and needs. I really do not care about money and honor, I guess I read too much St. Ignatius when I was in my twenties.

Good guys no girls and bad boys whose life has no sweetness
Some of the most philosophical, aware guys I know do not get ladys. This is because they are more rigid in their world views. In contrast, some soccer fans who frequent the pub and are addicted to let’s say metaphorically painted ladies or at least clubbing and picking up ladys, need to not make their life choices like marriage and children based on the reptilian or at least limbic part of their brain.

• It is just one working model was constructed by Maslow. It is not the end all for all understanding of human psychology, yet it is a pretty good model.

How I met the love of my life
I met my wife in Church, kind of. I met her in a club to the beat of house music actually (she was the cordialtest girl in the place). Nine months later after texting her here and there, I saw in Church and after we went for a walk, we stated dating. We have been happily married for years ever since. You want to find a union opposite regions of your brain when mating and dating.

You need to have some congruency in world views in these areas. I believe the closer the better. If you meet a lady that is all about money and security, regardless how cordial she is, and your focus is on the spiritual, eventually you will be like oil and water.

Finding that universal girl

I believe the universal girl is one that is focused on the spiritual as her lower needs are not excessive. Conversely someone who focuses on the lower areas are with only a few and only if the winds of fortune are blowing their way to sustain these needs. It is like being an O negative blood type. If you a spiritual person you can donate to anyone. If you are AB then your choices are more limited to who you can give to.

Love is almost synonymous with compassion. It is listening and really trying to understand another person and all their uniqueness. Their life trauma they have lived through, even if you do not relate to it. Understand where they are coming from. It answers the question why they behave like they do and without judgment accept them. Being supportive and helping them without conditions and with no limits.

Why I picked my wife from the highest and lowest levels

I am a weak, romantic. Like in the Ancient Greek tale, if given the choice between, beauty, honor and wisdom, I would choose beauty. I would want to be so attractive that I would attract the most beautiful girl. I was one of those guys who was thinking about ladys 24/7. I really did not care about impressing people and only minimally concerned with money if at all. Really much of my life I was chasing cordialties. I met my match when I met my wife. When I thought she was the highest level of attraction and then I realized about a year later she was this deep spiritual insightful person.

A concluding recommendation and quick read that illustrates why people are alone
People find it curious that I write, on one hand about cordial ladys so liberally. Yet on the other hand have a serious spiritual practice which means everything to me. These two ideas seem contradictory. They are not. Further, understanding the dynamics of your brain is important for you and you finding the love you deserve. I recommend the novella by Herman Hesse called Narcissus and Goldmund.

The story takes place in a Catholic Monastery. It is a story of two friends. Narcissus is a brilliant teacher and philosophical master, he stays confined in the walls. Think of Sheldon Copper in a monks rob. In contrast, Goldmund goes into the world to live an appetitive life of debauchery with lovers and sensual delights. At the end of their lives they come together and discover they are two halves of the same person. There are some guys out there that are like Narcissus and some like Goldmund. My point is you want to be both if you want to attract the love of your life.

Like Narcissus many guys epitomize the male analytical brain and good virtue, yet lack the flexibility to bend the rules. It is no coincidence that the analytical rule following one is named Narcissus. There are a lot of lonely good men out there. They take psychological refuge in their walls of their ideals.

In contrast, like Goldmund others are just living everyday as players and as if would be their last. Someday they will be right, and find their last day and are alone. A life without morals is even worst and if you do not end up in the gutter with the other rats, and with passing years you will regret your life.

It was pretty bold of me to write on this topic, but I feel many guys out there are conflicted. The idealists are on the run and the world’s social transformation has thrown a rock through their stained glass vision of a holy marriage. That is why I choose to write on the subject of purity in a religious marriage and the psychology of dating that gets you the lady friend of your dreams.

The search for a pure woman is a central theme in many single guys’ lives. Some guys look at it this way, they do not want to marry, for the rest of their lives, a girl who has given herself to someone else. A hundred years ago this was not much of a problem, today with feminism and liberalism chipping away at society, if you even bring this point up to a girl, she will get all huffy and disappear. Society will mock you and say you have a psychological problem. You do not. My post here will help examine the issues from a Christian approach. But it is also applicable to Islamic women, as well as Jewish and Indian women.

Typically guys continue their search for low mileage models. Ideally one that has not even been out for a test drive.  Yet they are frustrated, as there are not really any pure women left in their dating age range, at least none that fulfill other criteria for a compatible partner.

The modern Western female attitude on the subject is yet another example of ‘up is down’ and ‘down is up’ philosophy in our society. I mean, why would you not want to share your life, in this sacred and intimate way, with your one and only true love who you marry? What is so wrong with waiting for married before intimacy?

Lets put it all out there, and cut through the formalities, and be honest here. Do you do not want your lady friend to have done all kind of nasty things with other guys, on a whim, or have given her heart to another man, right? She had her fun with some Alpha studs and not expects a life of devotion from you, a Beta, who will be her provider?

Before you get all wound up in a tizzy at my bluntness, I am sorry. My point is to be dramatic, as to bring all this out in the open so it does not fester in your subconscious and manifest itself latter in frustration or anger at someone.

• The main thing is do not feel you are alone and need to be transported back into a time machine to find your fair maiden.

The purpose of this post is to examine this issue of women and purity from an objective view point, but also from a Christian perspective. Yes, I will give you concrete places and counties to find these ‘good’ women, but on the condition that you read my analysis. The historical and psychological genesis of conflicted feelings with this issues men and women have on the issue of female purity. By being aware of the source of one’s feelings is a good source for change or at least compassion.

Therefore, below of what is really going on here. My only request is you consider what I write in my for lack of a better word, homily and analysis below.

The truth is seen not in the beginning or the end but always the whole – Hegel

Religious is always about truth. So this is why I am writing this post. Do clarify the muddled thinking and bring awareness. Only with awareness is there a possibility for one to act on God’s given free will.

I think this post is relevant for women and men who have an interest in dating and marriage.

Where does this idea of purity in women really come from?

One of the things to realizes is the idea of finding a pure woman does not come from Christianity but more from biology. Deep in our subconscious men want to find untouched women because they know there is less chance of disease and other problems. This is pretty well establish that women who have had multiple partners (men also) have higher risk of medical problems, that might even interfere with the ability to procreate. I have read in at least one reputable science article, I wish I could find it, that the idea was around way before religion was codified. It comes more from a reproductive desire for being clean.

Our subconscious obsesses about this, because of this instinctive motivation. Humans are obsessive, ritualistic, cleansing creatures, it is part of our evolution and can even be seen in primate behavior of grooming. We get obsessed with cleanliness because deep in our brains are mechanisms at work connected to survival. However, the desire for purity, bubbles up to our conscious mind which we rationalize as religious thought or proper social mores.

Sure a lot of things are like this, in human behavior, that is unconscious with an evolutionary base, but people rationalize it. The whole formality and interplay of dating for goodness sake is. For example have you noticed how women are more afraid of bugs and spiders than men? My friend George eats bugs to gross out girls. Well this is because insects and the sort, pose a greater threat to a women because she might be carrying children. Women have this fear because of instinct. Men scuff it off that they are braver, but this comes from one million years of human evolution.

Similarly men obsess about a woman’s purity largely because some primordial desire to choose mates which are clean. Girls do not understand this and get all bent out of shape if you even mention it.

Cultural understanding of purity and the evolution of religion

In the beginning, religious rules were closely connected to the rules of a clean properly functioning society. Not that all communities were theocracies, but rather, what was ‘bad’ for society the elders deemed bad in the eyes of God. In Islamic and Jewish cultures, laws about food and washing were and are strictly observed.

Does God really care about this? Man does. If a society contains people who are ‘unclean’, based on their understanding of ‘unclean’ at the time, it could spread disease in the community. Even a woman’s on her moon cycle was considered something to be avoided as she was unclean. We have science now and know that is ridiculous. I am sorry that is such a crock. You can rationalizes it all you want but a woman on her cycle is nothing but the cleansing of her uterus, something healthy and normal. We have science now.

Yet my point is a lot of religious taboos developed from ideas at the time where thought to protect the community. Some good like washing ones hands, and some misguided. Possession might have been misdiagnosed mental illness or epilepsy. Because the world’s great religions predate us by hundreds of years, there are outdated social concepts overlay-ed with authentic sincere religious teachings.

Codification of laws religious, social and political

As mankind developed in more complicated social ways, political laws were codified as were religious and recorded in our holy books. This included rules governing a woman’s purity. A “fallen woman” was almost on par with one who had leprosy. Someone who was sick by the way, might have been in a state of sin or he parents where and this was passed down from generation to generation. This is how man’s obsessive brain started to work. We stated to weave superstition in with authentic religious idea. Further there are guardians and judges of the truth and its rules. Defenders of the Orthodoxy, even if enlighten. I tend to me this way personally. Yet, think of the Matrix, who are you in this play?

Enter Jesus

Jesus taught it was the spirit of the law not the letter of the law that mattered.

Mankind codified Jesus’ ideas and we have Christianity. I believe Islam did the same with the Prophet, although I do not know the Islamic religion, as well so I am unsure on this point. But I am sure we Christians think in terms of abstractions and did that to Jesus. We codified him or tried to.

The Middle Ages Romantic ideals and the fall of Rome

Contrary to popular believe Christianity actually elevated the role of women in society. From Ancient Rome’s debauchery to the high Middle Ages where females were idealized. In fact, the Church went as far as almost putting the Blessed Mother on par with Jesus as Co-redeemer and emphasize the mythology of the immaculate conception.

Do not get me wrong. I believe in the Blessed Mother and the Rosary with all my heart. I feel this above all prayers of intercession is the most powerful in my personal experience. Yet, I wanted to take a step back examine what is really important to God. That is one’s attitude towards each other and what feelings we have in our hearts.

Also consider in most Christian societies where men were lost to war and disease early, like Colonial America or Anytown, Europe in the Middle Ages, men would marry widows. The chastity lock, really, do you want that back in vogue?

Also consider that ideal is not practical all the time in human life. I mean people use to get married young and not people wait until later. I do not blame women who are fallen and make mistake. As I am not without sin. I believe in forgiveness, the letter of the law is not as important as the spirit of the law.

Here is an innocent joke – A knight has to go to a foreign country and he trusts the key to one of those ‘chastity guard garments’ to his best friend.  Five minutes latter, his friend, goes riding after him desperately screaming, ‘it is the wrong key’.

We can skip the next hundred years to the present liberalism of feminism

What began as the genuine liberation of women in the 1920s turned into a wonton hate movement against social convention and men in the 1980s and 1990s. Women flexed their rights and abused them, just because they could.

Today we are left in Western societies with women who smile at guys on the first to third date. I think usually the first date in my experience. After a few hours (or minutes) of meeting a guy, the woman is rolling in the hay with him and doing what is really only meant for her husband on her wedding night.

Is this liberation? Is this good?

Then you get some starry eyes idealistic young man who believes in the Bible and the Word of God and all he has to choose from are these women, who have been with so many guys they know the number but not the names, and even fallen in love so many times it means nothing special any more.

Every girl knows her number, that tells you something. That all is not as it seems for women. Their good times might really them acting out deep desires for love and attention and feeling of unworthiness, to say the least. The psychogensis of a woman’s desire for purity comes from similar thinking about offspring and the need for a devoted provider, which is a sociological benefits of waiting. Divorce and unhappiness are correlated with promiscuous behavior, not to mention disease and broken hearts.

That is why I do not believe in relations outside of marriage.

They are disillusioned also and their dreams have been destroyed also. At some level, even the most harden materialistic would love to be rescued and be that princess lady friend from a fairy-tale, no matter how disconnected she is from the true deeper reality of archetypical.

Part II – How to recover sanity about a Woman’s purity and dating

What is a guy to do?

First lets see which guys are most prone retro-jealousy.

• Guys that had parents argue a lot and even had trouble with alcohol. Drinking seems to intensify and make kids more serious about everything. This takes a lifetime to unravel.
• Guys that have had a religious upbringing in a rule based religion and a high correlation of religiosity in their family, Catholic, Jewish, Islam for example. I tend to think Protestant Christians are more accepting of this as they have less a cycle of guilt and cleansing.
• Guys with self-esteem issues that were picked on or a little bit felt alienated.
• I had a hard upbringing my parents were super strict and I think this exacerbates the desire for purity. It is a little OCD.
• Guys who are prone to jealously (a sin which is also psychologically based).
• Guys that who have by choice or not, had little experience with women.
• Yes considering the above, all guys. I have met some peace and love surfer dude type guys that are not this way from the new wave generation but they are operating at a different level. Most guys feel bad about the current state of women in the West.

My message is this. Try to understand your feelings and understand they are real and have right to be respected. Consider what I have written about why humans have these feelings from a historical perspective. With love and compassion understand these feelings are nothing bad, however, not with righteousness but with compassion. You may be right to the letter of the law, but not to the spirit of the law.

Try to think about the teachings of Jesus and what would he say? Would he condemn anyone? Judge not and you will not be Judged. Is this not real religion? Pray to the Blessed Mother for understanding. Be patient with yourself about these feelings.

Yes but do you have to marry a non-chaste girl? Whatever you want. Just try to be gentle with yourself and look on the world with non-judgment and compassion. This is Jesus and this is religion. Our religion is not easy. It is not a feel good religion. But this is the teaching of Jesus, compassion and he taught it is not our role to judge.

Below I will give you very good resources to examine, but first one more thing.

Realism and a woman’s body

So switch gears on you consider the following points from a realist why purity is not that pure.

Unless a lady lives in a bubble, she has lived an unclean life, even if you marry a good wife. Consider the following. It is meant to be shocking to wake you guys up that women are human not some earthy vessel made of angel hair.

• Male gynecologists have probed her to no end as other doctors. Even me I have had more than one medical ex main for my prostrate. How is not a violation of my body, it sure felt that way. Sure it is medial but you can forgive that but not some girls desire to have a normal life like her peers and have a ‘boyfriend’.
• You want to talk unclean? You think what she did with other guys is nasty and you want to dis her for that? Consider all the places any females rear-end has sat in disgusting places like airport bathrooms. Even how many times a day she does this anyway and what goes on. Women are flesh and blood not a digital picture on the web. Many guys think of women this way metaphorically, as airbrushed dolls because they never really experienced them in day-to-day life and tried to put themselves in their shoes. What if you incarnated into a woman?
• My point is get off your high horse and Glass Menagerie. Think about how C.S. Lewis’ world change when his ideal met reality in his love life. Yes major Christian C.S. Lewis.

What is our true body?

I think I repelled a few women in my quest and inquisition for a pure women. Sometimes my questioning would be like a KGB interrogation and I would make the girl cry. In retrospect of course, I was wrong to be so my judgment on women. But this is human emotion, never clean, always messy. They were not for me. They did not see the world as I did. It is more if the woman regrets or sees it as sinful than if she is or not. This is because our bodies are illusionary and our souls are what are pure or impure. In the next life our bodies will be forgotten and only are souls exist. So you do not want to marry someone with a pure body but a black soul. You want a pure soul and that is all that matters. Did not Jesus say anything from the outside can not make our us impure? It is only what is in our hearts. Some maybe you are the impure one and the girls who have slept with scores of guys are the pure ones.

It is all about their attitude. If they know it is wrong and why, or regret it then it does not matter. But if they put it in your face and reminisce about it then maybe you want to move on. They do not even have to be celibate, just understanding.

Some women go to extremes through surgery to restore their youth and purity. In less developed countries doctors issues certificates (many bogus) to prove this. What folly, think what Jesus would say of this and the society that makes a human feel like this, because of a biological ‘impurity’.

Resources to consider when dealing with feelings of jealously about a woman’s vestal pristine body

• Unbound  – Jealously and pride make us obsess over this even further, which infections in our own souls like anger and judgment. Are these attacks from bad spirits? Do demons, if you will prey on our weaknesses? We need to be vigilant that our search for a pure woman is not connected to that. I recommend highly the book Unbound by Neal Lozano. It is an unbelievable book that hits home, I am not a fundamentalist at all, but wow.
• Jungian books – He: Understanding Masculine Psychology, She: Understanding Feminine Psychology, and We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love – or any of the books by Robert A. Johnson
• Beware of Christians – I highly recommend the movie Beware of Christians, it is on NetFlix it is about four guys that go to agnostic Europe and deepen their understanding of what following Jesus means.
• Dante – In Dante’s Purgatory, lust was the least sin there was, as it was inordinate or misdirected love.
• Light film about love – Many of my friends have said they would have no problem marrying a working girl. I have always thought that was strange, too open, but after I saw the movie Mediterraneo, I understand.

In the end, how honest do you want to be about your religion? Tell me if I am wrong, but, God is not an old man in a white rob policing our gentiles from heaven. God does not care if you engage in self-gratification nor condemns you if you have had intimacy. What I believe God does care about is what is in your heart.

Are pure wives better?

This idea you have certainly limits your choices if you think this way. Remember most of life is day-to-day and it is a high price to pay if you restrict your search. Better you find someone who is compatible with and grow spiritually. A girl’s purity is a weak criteria to build a happy relationship with. If pride or honor is holding you back maybe you should again examine this from the above resources I mention, it is really a spiritual battle.

In the end this question is really a spiritual issues.

Best countries to find an untouched woman

So end the end here are a couple of counties to consider if you want a pure woman, if you really, really want to base your search for your soulmate on this criteria. I recommend you search for love and not an untouched woman. I highly recommend this. Further do not go out looking to negotiate or buy a wife. I sometimes things guys want to search the web for the mobile number of a chaste girl, text and chat her up, and after a little interview,  import her for marriage. I joke you not, a lot of men think this way. But that goodness women do not.

Also consider, there are many remote countries, but they might be too culturally different. I mean do you really want to date  Pygmies in Africa if you are from Connecticut? Maybe, but I would focus on more congruent cultures to your own.

I married a girl from the Polish countryside. But my family is from the Polish countryside. I have some cultural connection and it was easier and natural and unplanned.

I recommend going to Poland and Romania and Italy in Europe and India and Pakistan in the Middle East. There are scores of other countries around the world that have not been corrupted. I lived in Poland and girls really just have one boyfriend and get married. If that is very important to you then maybe consider Poland. I lived there for ten years as my wife is Polish. Yet do not expect to just import one. I moved to the country went native, learned the language and became citizen. This gave me access to women normal Americans would not have.

You can also try Catholic dating and Christian dating etc. There are many match type sites with a little more focus.

If you are not willing to make great efforts you can not expect great reward. Were not the knights in every fairy-tale brave and willing to give their life for their quest? If you want a fairy-tale princess  maiden, you have to be a very brace and courageous knight and that includes virtue. Fate and destiny play with us, because when you have developed the virtue to make you worthy, you might not care any more about anything but love.

I recommend Christian dating for those who are serious about finding a girlfriend and wife. Christian dating is better than any other type of dating you will find on the web for those who are US and UK-based. This is backed up by data.

I can include in the my recommendation Catholic and Orthodox dating. The percentage of lasting relationships from religious based dating are statistically higher than a whatever, cast your net out there and hope for the best dating site. If I was not married and did not want to entertain foreign girls, I think dating Christians is the way to increase your probability marital happiness. In fact, it is no probability at all if you find someone who understands the sanctity of marriage.

• This is very important guys (and girls), use your powers of observation like Sherlock Holmes to see what others do not, see if they are sincere. If you have doubts there is usually a reason and your intuition is right. I can not stress how important morals are in mate selection. Every guy that gets shafted by a gold digger, have the Sheriff deliverer papers at the door and been cheated on or simply in a living purgatory of a nagging wife, knows what I am talking about. I can not emphasis this enough, your marriage is the most important decisions of your life, make sure you know who you are marrying. Do not feel no one else will marry you, or whatever. Go for your prince or princess, take no prisoner go for everything, looks, morality your dream.
• The choice is yours, a living hell with a lady who will break you or a happy life, ever after. Take my advice, go for a cordial lady who is religious.
• Faith is a message of liberation. If you think about the history of love, Christianity changed pagan decadent Rome where women were treated as objects to the idealistic chivalry of the high Middle Ages. Anyone who confuses women’s lib with the genuine liberation of women needs to empty the bins of their recycled political correctness and look at the true history of romantic love.

The purpose of this post is to outline aspects of Christian dating that are relevant to the American courtship experience. Who am I? Well look at my blog, I am not some pious self-righteous, I am a former male pig. I am not proud of this in any way. I am saying I have seen both sides and I know which side is greener pastures.  I can only think of 1 Corinthians 13:11.  This includes:

• Feelings of being conflicted about dating and the Bible
• Why spiritual dating is not important, it is the only way.
• Are non-Christian better looking?
• Does God exist? Struggles with faith.
• Who is a Christian? Are Catholics Christian? What about other believers?
• Christians in name only
• What about non-believers who want to date people of faith?
• What is a Christian to do when looking for love and marriage?
• Unusual and unexpected pitfalls of Christian romance
• Prayer, destiny and love.
• Concluding remarks.

I will follow the sequence of the above points in the following article.

Philander or gratification – hormones and dating

Do you remember when you were in High school and you were reading the Bible every night and moved by the words and stories, yet hormones were out of control and even being in proximity to a guy or girl stirred you? Look it is in our program to get turned on at a drop of a pin. Humans are hyper-friendshipual. There I said it, but it is true. It is the way we were created or the human race would not continue. If hormones did not override your superego we would

The deep mental anguish you felt from being conflicted? Not to mention feelings of low self-esteem and comparing and judging the world? There was a contradictory diccordialomy between your sensuality and religious teachings? Welcome to the club called humanity. My recommendation is this, stay true to your ideals and wait for your one and only. Use self pleasure, fantasy, meditation, sports, computer games or whatever you need to control this so you make rational choices in love and marriage, not based on desperate chemical messengers.

Self pleasure is perhaps the optimal because it will solve the problem. If you feel guilty about this do not. Consider how wrong it is to use ladys or mess with their emotions and the real harm it can cause. While gratification in another way is neutral. It does not hurt anyone. Everyone does it. If you can transmute this energy into prayer or meditation even better. Some people use the exercises of yoga also. But the main thing is realizes that in the 21^st century it is not practical to get married at the time your hormones start to kick in like they did hundreds of years ago. So there is a new set of problems, that is an incongruence between adolescence (physical development to an adult functioning body) and marriage which was later.

Spiritually based dating vs. every other type of courtship

You might not use a Christian dating website, but if you have any shred of faith in you, even the size of a mustard seed, I recommend you screen ladys based on morality.

There are beautiful women in the world whose lips are as sweet as honey. I know, some almost hooked me and I thank God I did not lose my sense of judgment. Years later I had looked these girls up as a sociological experiment, and their lives were train wrecks. Yes these cordial girls that were barely paying for their worldly ways, for lack of a better term karmically. My point is run from women who are not idealistic to the Nth degree.

In contrast the ones that are Christians have pretty happy lives a family and look beautiful. What can I say it is true. If you do not believe me, follow the time line of any Hollywood star who was libertine in contrast with Patricia Heaton, Kristin Chenoweth, Martha Williamson or better yet, any female Christian singer like Natalie Grant, Amy Grant or Rebecca St. James. Look at their personal lives and compare them to the lives of train wrecks like Lindsay Lohan. Be aware that many women are like Lindsay waiting to mess up and destroy your life. You have to learn to smoke them out by maybe not giving them an Inquisition but at least an examination of consciousness during some starry-eyed night in the park.

So what to do is have a tete-a- tete?

Inevitable you want to engage them into philosophical conversations. I can not image that you do not epistemology, rather, mores scruples and their relation to family and marriage. I am not big on conditional ethics and relativism when it comes to holy matrimony. Find a girl who has your ideals. It is that simple. I would put this has perhaps the most important determinate criteria for mate selection. Find a super cordial girl who has integrity and standards, a sense of character, that is God centered, because God is the Source for which we all return.

Test ladys, try to smoke them out and make sure that they are not just talking and trying to put themselves out as good little girls and then treat you like a meal ticket. I have had agnostic ladys remind me of virtue when they had live like any girl from NYC on a Saturday night. They use morality as a means of control. You do not want to get tricked by one of those women. You need to really be tricky and try to see through women.

• I recommend to read up on ways to see though women get them to confess the truth about their worldview. Basically your life depends on it. If there is one take away, it is this. See the true nature of the women you are dating. As you look at them try to visualize their beauty as a function of their goodness and devious crafty ways actually distorting their attractiveness.

You are on a date make sure at some point you talk to your date about this, maybe not the first or second encounter, but eventually. I personally allude to it in the first five minutes of conversation and see their reaction as I was a player and had no time to waste on gals that did not fit my vision.

Are the pool of girls out there with morality less attractive?

Actually in my experience ethical girls are universally more attractive. Beauty and virtue like the Ancient Greeks believed are one in this case. I would say the correlation has a high level of confidence. It makes sense that women that are aware about spiritual things.

Think about it, if someone develops their spiritual ideal, the highest level on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs chances are they have addressed other things like health and moderation. Consistency of behavior dictates that good people are more attractive. They take care of themselves.

Also I do not know why, just an observation, Christian girls in middle age seem to age slower. I see less wrinkles on their face. Maybe they are more at peace with themselves.

Further, the basic equipment on any female body is the same. There is no way you can convince me that bad girls have better bodies. Maybe an argument could be made that bad girls have more testosterone, but looks, no. Usually it is a matter of style of dress or the way they carry themselves.

Hence, I conclude that believers are just as attractive if not more than their more worldly counterparts.

What about a Christian coquette

I meet lots of flirtatious believers, but they do it in the right measure. It mildly irritates me when ladys try to use their charm to try to get men to do what they want. In my experience this is not the case with girls that take their faith seriously, rather they just flirt invoke intrigue, but do not abuse the power give.

Then enter the dynamics of A likes B but B does not like A because B likes C. Further, you had an additional problem that not everyone out there were Christians. The coolest and cordialtest were often from this new world ethic. Gradually you started to compromise your ideals and water down your beliefs to fit a bit and start dating.

My message is no need to. I am a big advocate of not being extreme, for Jesus was the middle way. Yet he was radical in his authentic in act, word and deed.

I write a lot of crazy things on this website, however, my underlying premise is a house build on sand is washed away, while a house built with a strong foundation endures.

I am married and happy. I can tell you marriage is infinity times better than being single.

Many people have a misconception that people who are churchy are good. This is crazy. Church is a hospital for sinners not a gathering place for saints. It is a ridiculous paper tiger to criticism of Bible believers based on their conduct. I mean their blood runs red like yours does with all the problems and temptations you have. Rather believers get inspiration and hope from the message. Is there any reason not to connect with other like-minded people?

I should be a more positive instrument in the world more aligned with my ideals. This should be the way you are thinking. Jettison the Hanky-panky and get real about the meaning of life question.

What about God?

For people who believe in God faith is a gift but also a challenge. For those who do not believe I would recommend a book like Does God Exist by Hans Kung. Look I believe in evolution and science and I am a skeptical inquirer but the scientific explanation for the physical universe does not answer the meaning of life question. That is something that keeps resonating in all of us. Why we are something and not nothing, why there is anything at all? Usually people who think the faithful are naïve are prideful, they think they are just a little bit more clever. That is why I invite you to think about the other side and read serious modern theology like above.

What about Christians who are Catholic and Orthodox and other denomination?

I am Catholics, some of my family was Eastern Orthodox and I went to Protestant schools from High School to graduate school. Are we not all one in Christ? I think it does not matter. You want to date a Russian Orthodox girl and you are a Baptist do it. Jesus opens the gate, not closes it.

Christian girls in name only

The key idea here is do you take your religious authentically and find someone who is not in name only, but walking the walk.

Evidence for this might be do they do to Church, read the Bible talk about morality and moral issues. I do, as so much of life is this. Do they manifest their system in a concrete way. Name only people are often worst them ethical humanist. So watch out.

What about dating people of who are non-believers or other faiths

Other faiths are easy. I would marry a Muslim if I was in love, yet I am thankful my wife and I are of the same system, it makes it easier. The same goes for Buddhist and other faiths. Non-believers I guess you could take the attitude that we all have the light of God in us, even if some do not see it in themselves but, for me it would be hard to do.

I would date a girl who is a yoga girl. Just make sure they would stay with you and not one of these experimental new age women that deem all ideas equally credulous and relativist to the point she would leave you.

Amish Romances are one of the most popular selling genre of fiction for a reason. People, ladies want to deep down be domestic. So do not feel you have to compromise for some liberal that does not cook and nurture. You want a kinship of ideas.

Now I have convinced you where to look for your lady friend?

Look within the community, then expand your search thematically and geographically.

• Church or Mass is obvious.
• Go to clubs, beach anywhere and then screen prospects if you are attracted to them.
• No different from any other approach except you apply a screen or filter for the immoral.
• I might try major reputable Christian dating websites like catholicmatch.com
• Travel to countries like Poland and Romania where people take their believes seriously (more).
• Woo them like any girlfriend, be as passionate as you like, just do not lie or cheat.

Unusual and unexpected pitfalls of Christian romance

The only pitiful is you find someone you love romantically and attracted to and they are not your intellectually compatible. Not a big problem, but make sure that they function at a reasonably high cognitive level if you do. I basically think the girl just has to be cordial and faithful as we all add up to 100%. Do not look for redemption directly in the dating process or your mate, rather first find it in answering the meaning of life question, then God will lead you to the person who transforms your life. I feel that in a fairy-tale sense my wife rescued me as I rescued her. We saved each other. However, first we had to be true to our faith in God.

Prayer and density

Read any of my posts on visualization here and prayer. I do not need to repeat what I wrote for techniques. But I think the general idea is use prayer and you imagination to start the wheels in motion to have your fairy-tale. My article on visualization is here, imagination, love and the Divine. For a take on more traditional go here, Christian prayer and romantic dating.  Below are a series of articles I wrote on the same subject and I invite you to explore them.

Concluding remarks

If you want to live a fairy-tale with passion, love and loyalty, find a super attractive girl whose convictions match or exceed her physical appearance and marry her. My favorite book on love is by Thomas Kempis if anyone is interest, he lived a few years back. What is yours or your view, I am really curious what the pulse is on my above writing.