Ukrainian girls – Five nations of Ukraine and their women

The purpose of this post is to give you the definite guide to Ukrainian girls like no other on the Internet. Most websites talk blah, blah about the virtues of Ukrainian women to sell you. I am here to tell it like it is, so you can consider cultural factors in determining your where you want to go fishing for your forever bride. Candide research means a better informed decision.

I love Ukraine. Anything written here should not be construed as negative. Rather, I am clearly partial towards Ukrainian culture and language and traditional Bible based morals, over Soviet or Russified Ukrainian society.

Ukraine girls
Want to marry an Ukrainian bride? Here are my personal recommendations for areas to search.

The crucible and the cradled – two Ukraines

Envision Ukrainian girls from two different regions in Ukraine. Imagine how different their world views would be.

The first vision of Ukraine

Imagine something out of a science fiction movie (like Blade Runner or a post apocolytic Hunger Games region), a gray retro industrial cityscape, where there are a 50,000 people in the town, engaged in working at one primary industry, like Nickel smelting. Large toxic clouds spurt out from enormous smoke stacks to further dim out the sun. Every 30 seconds or so the sky is illuminated by large flames, like solar flares, that shoot out from these post-Soviet metallurgy monstrosities.

People there go to solariums wearing funny eye protection wear, just to get some vitamin D. The inhabitant of this purgatory just dream of eating nectarines in Crimea. The women join foreign dating services in hoping to escape or increase their financial situation. Most buildings are grayish, the apartments are 35 square meters and blocky looking.

The second vision of Ukraine

Imagine a beautiful blond girl in the countryside with flowing lockets in her hair and a traditional Slavic white embroidered dress, gathering wildflowers from a field and living in an idyllic wooden house in the forest and a cross that hangs on the door of every village home.

Both visions of Ukraine are true. The question is which place would you like to find your princess?

Perhaps the above is a slight exaggeration but it paints a picture how different the regions of Ukraine are. Any guy that says “I want to date a girl from Ukraine”, I ask where?

Ukrainian beauty
Average girls in Ukraine

My firsthand experience with Ukraine

I am Ukrainian. My family came from a small village called Skalat in Western Ukraine. I have studied Eastern Europe my whole life. I know what I am talking about. There are seven regions in Ukraine that is relevant to your search for love. These are not political regions but social regions. That is people in each region generally interact in different ways.

Farm girl Ukraine
Choose a lady from the village over the city.

The general rule is the further East you go and to the bigger cities, in Ukraine the girls are more secular, materialistic, Russian and cunning regarding their escape plans. This is a gross generalization, but my personal experience.

In contrast the further west you are in Ukraine and more rural the more people are sweet.

Kiev Ukrainian student females
City gals are not bad if they focus on a their education rather than money.

Imagine the cultural contrast between a girl from Detroit, Michigan to Amishland of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. Similarly there are different ways different regions of Ukraine view dating and relationship and life in general.

Thin Blond Ukraine
Why are the women so think in Eastern Europe?

What are the five nations of Ukraine?

This list is a rating of areas where I would choose a bride from in descending order

  1. Principality of Livivia – Ukrinia Lviv the Land of fairy-tale princesses– Western Ukraine – Imagine the Shire or some story book regions where the girls dream of their prince charming. influenced by a mix of religious values and preserved Ukrainian culture
  2. KievtropolisMetropolis of Kiev, country girls come to the big city for school and work. For a major city it is livable and culture.
  3. CrimeawaiiHawaii of Ukraine – Crimea – A paradise where the whole CIS vacations. Semi autonomous region with Tartar rather than Slavic cultural ties.
  4. OdessalandSodom and Gomorrah of Ukraine, Specifically Arcadia beach. Maybe not that bad but at least like Ibiza, where boyfriend and girlfriend swapping is no big thing. Do whatever you want with whoever you want as it is the land of the Disco and every girl has a little black book of foreign men’s phone numbers in their mobile phone. Yet in the area of Odessa there are many good girls, just not the clubbing girls who live their weekends on the strip.
  5. Cosmoplia-netsk Industrial badlands of Eastern Ukraine – A place to escape from – Eastern Ukraine. On one hand the Russian nouveau riche 1% flaunt their gilded lifestyle, while the rest of the proletariat slave away to earn their pittance. This is basically a Russified area of Ukraine. You might as well make the Russian countryside your stomping grounds. This in my opinion is a center of Scamville, Ukraine. Again there are nice gals in Eastern Ukraine, just scene them for moral behavior and ideals.
Eastern Ukraine girls for money
Eastern Ukrainian girls are more into shopping and money.

Money should never ever be a factor in determining your relationship. Send no money and if a gal wants you do, walk away without replying. In fact your sms could be ‘no reply necessary’ and that is the end of the relationship. There are so many people in the world that need money. Mixing it with dating and love, dollars for girls is a bad precedent to set during the dating phase. It is an indicator that something else is wrong.

In my experience Ukrainian girls from

  • Dnipropetrovsk
  • Donetsk
  • Luhansk
  • Dniprodzerzhynsk

Are into the culture of money.

In contrast cities in the West like

  • Ternopil
  • Ivano-Frankivsk
  • Lviv

and the surrounding Oblast are not into hryvnia but finding a husband.

Therefore you want a girlfriend from Ukraine to be your bride, consider carefully, especially the cultural variances in the different regions and what I have written above. Do not hold back, as any questions you have on your mind. Better get the truth from me than find it out later.

206 Replies to “Ukrainian girls – Five nations of Ukraine and their women”

  1. Hi Mark,

    How are you my friend?, How are things in Krakow?

    I had such a positive experience i am flying to Kiev on monday, Tanya will get the bus from Ternopil to Kiev to meet me, we will stay at her friends in Kiev monday evening and take the bus back to Ternopil on tuesday, where i will spend the week.

    I am looking forward to being with Tanya again and sampling some more Ukrainian peevo, shashlik and pilmeeni.

    If i have come the conclusion that Tanya is the girl i want to be with long term, how long should i date her before proposing to her?, i was thinking 1 year?, also is it tradition in Ukraine to ask the parents for permission to marry their daughter?

    Regards

    Reggie

    1. Krakow is always fun, if you are ever here let me know.
      Oh if you are in Ukraine try some Kvas it is a bread drink, they might still sell it on the street. It is not beer but something totally different.
      Ukraine is really a wonderful place and the food is great to sample as mentioned. I like beet soup the best. But eggplant dishes are great as are dumplings (those are the English names for the food of course).
      When in Kiev if you can go to the Cave monasteries, which are under the city. I think they have at least one “incorruptible” there. That is a body (of a monk) that has not decayed even after hundreds of years, it is attributed to the pureness of spirit. But I think maybe bacteria has not gotten in.
      There are many things to see in this city depending on the time.
      Now to the most important question time before marriage, it is all according to you. I would say that some people get married right away and live happily ever after. If I knew my wife as I know her now I would have asked her the first night I meet her. But I did not know her and the dating process was important to test and try my limits and commitment to her.
      So in retrospect it worked out well that we waited for a few years.
      It is according her age and if you all want to have children and what point you are in your life. If you have been around the block in life than you can cut the time down. If you are a person who have never really dated extend the time out.
      But one year is a good time. I did not ask my wife’s parents, maybe I should have but I thought that my wife should know before her parents.
      I think being alone in the world is a hard thing. I have no idea how people do it. I mean being single is hip and cool at age 24 but not latter. Being single in my opinion is one of the great hardships of life. I know some people will disagree but if you find the person you are supposed to be with, life is infinitely more sweet.

  2. Hi Mark,

    I tried some Kvas while I was in Ukraine and thought it was very nice, I prefer pivo but thought the Kvas is good if you do not want anything with alcohol in it.

    I had another great time with Tanya and met her parents and more of her friends this time so it looks very promising for our relationship, but I think I’ll fly to Warsaw next time as Wizz Air flies there from the airport 4kms from me at Preswick so it would take less time, and would be cheaper than flying to Kiev for me as the flights are all from London to Kiev and I live in Scotland and its a long drive before I even catch my flight about 8 hours drive approximately.

    I managed to find trains from Warsawa Centralna and another station in Warsaw to Lvov on website pkp you mentioned, and return trains from Lvov to Warsaw so think I’ll give that a try next time, it seems that they run daily so it should be okay for me.

    Also two of my friends are planning a road trip to Poland Euro 2012 next year so I’ll be joining them as they invited me along, hopefully Tanya will be able to meet me then, if she is still with me which I think she will judging from how we have got on so far.

    Regards

    Lee Williamson

    1. All positive news. Warsaw to Lviv (Ukrainian transliteration) or Lvov (Polish spelling) is an easy trip. You also have bus options which are much cheaper but not as comfortable in addition to the trains. PKS is the bus website by the way. And lastly you have normal day trains to the border. Once at the Ukrainian border, it is easy to get to Lviv.

      2012 is a good time for a road trip with the big soccer/football matches.

      One last option I think I have mentioned it. A train to Crimea or Krym is very cheap from Lviv. Like 10 GBP for the whole 26 hour trip. If you ever wanted to go on vaction with her, it is a very exotic place that does not cost much.

  3. Reggie is my nickname by the way, Lee is my real name.

  4. Hi Mark,

    I have heard the Crimea is a nice place to visit and i think i’ll discuss that with Tanya next time i see her and see if she is interested in going there with me.

    On my next trip im just going to book a flight to Warsaw and go to the train and bus station and see what time the next bus/train to Lvov is at and if i have a few hours to wait i’ll have a look around Warsaw and take some photos, Tanya will be able to organise which train or bus to catch for my return trip from Ukraine to Poland so should be fine.

    I bought some shaslik spices from the supermarket while i was in Ternopil so i will have to give that a try soon, if i can make it half as good as Ukrainian people i will be very happy.

    By the way i had a flat with a view of the lake in Ternopil and it was great, i hope i can get the same one next time as it was a very reasonable price too, Tanya’s sister Yula negotiated a better price for me.

  5. Mark, (or anyone)

    What are the cheapest lodging options in Kiev?

    How is public transportation there?

    Is Kiev a noisy, dirty, over-crowed kind of place?

    I usually stay in hostels while travelling and I may do this again but I wanted to see if there are better options than this.

    The apartment rentals online are not ‘cheap’ by any means. Cheap would be $30/USD per night or less in my book.

    Thanks

    1. Kiev has brilliant public transport. I think the subway is the deepest in the world perhaps as they were back ups for bomb shelters. Kiev is not dirty or over-crowded but that is all relative, I mean it is a big city but it has many parks and walk ways. It is one if the greener cities in Europe. That being said it is a big city so cars are everywhere. Make sure you go to the Cave monasteries as I may have mentioned.
      I always stayed in apartments when in Kiev. But you can certainly find a youth hostel or a flat more on the outside of the city and there are babcia’s at the train and bus station that will let you stay with them real cheap. Remember it is where the money is so it will cost more, and you know who things are in Russia and Ukraine, Moscow and Kiev are expensive and money centers compared to the villages which are small.

  6. Ok Thanks. So everything is cheaper in Crimea I guess?

    Please comment on Lviv also, thanks.

    1. Ukrainian cost of living varies as there is a two tier cost structure. One being the expat lifestyle, that is for the average guy who has to have western standard and making Ukraine like the USA or the UK. The other tier is for off the beaten path adventurers. For example, I was in Crimea for like two weeks and pay round trip including transport and food and lodging for two people less than 300 dollars and we rocked the place with a place with WiFi and a kitchen etc.
      On the other hand I know many people that pay thousands of dollars for the same trip and I question if they had as much fun. They looked mildly bored.
      Let me know if you have any further questions about Lviv, Kiev or Crimea (Kyrm) in Ukraine.

      http://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/ this is a great cost of living calculator tool. Now these are just averages but it give one a good ideas about about how much things will cost.

      But basically a cheap place in Crimea will be 25 dollars and in Lviv even 10 dollars, but you have to know how to find them with the Ukrainian or Russian language. But in Crimea and Liv everything is competitive and pricing is fair. There is a search factor.

      Where to go in Crimea
      I would say that Alushta and Feodosia are two towns you might stay in Yalta is nice but pricey. On the west coast there is less to do but less people, on the west coast more families and things to do. Wine is great there, I can highly recommend it. The local climate is near perfect for wine.
      Simferopol is the center but you just take a local bus to the coast. Simferopol is the last place to change money or go to McDonald’s etc.
      When you get off the bus locals will swarm you with offers of places to stay. I prefer to walk into the town and find a place myself as I can see it. The bathrooms are the old fashion type, just FYI. But what does it matter you will be swimming in the phosphorescent black sea most of the time and purifying your mind and soul and body in the sub tropical climate. I would not care about the room too much.

      If you can check out the ancient Greek archeological sites. You can looks these up.

      During the day you can hike in the mountains and in the evening swim on the beach.

      If you are short on money there are a lot of shell-fish you can collect and make pasta and seafood and drink Kvas. You do not have to eat in restaurants which tend to be a little pricey.

      I went there is a wad of Polish złoty and found out they only take dollars, euros or rubbles. Lets just say, we came back the skinniest of any time in our lives. We found some Poles who changed some for us and survived on little money. Basically eating at milk bars (eastern European dinners or student places) making garlic bread and seafood I caught.

      Some people I met paid 5 dollars a night for a place to sleep. Many people sleep in camping areas. It all depends on your money. Of course you can spend 500 dollars a night in Yalta if you like. But I find more adventure in rustic vacations.

      Lviv
      Lviv is another city all together. It has an old town larger than Kraków. You can see everything you want in the old town. I think the best is bring your Camera and use your own powers of observation and after you leave you can read about what you saw. I tend to do things in reverse, that is I do not read about things until I can an unpartial impression of the place. Too much to write about in Lviv.

      Kiev
      Kiev the best things by the way is the whole city, but the cave monasteries and the museum of the great patriotic war is pretty good as well as the churches and the history of ancient Rus Oleg and Rurik and Yaroslavl etc.

      Remember the Kievian state was in a golden age of learning and art when Western Europe was in a state of Stone knives and bearskins.

      1. Hi Admin,
        God knows where you find or get the prices you quote. But I’ve been going to Crimea now for 3 years now and would say it is totally impossible for 2 people to travel from Kiev to Crimea, ( other than walking there ) find accommodation ( other than sleeping on the beach ) eat ( other than out of bins ) Drink and enjoy yourself ( other than water and watch from outside a pub or club )for 2 weeks all for $300 as you say.

        I stay in Evpatoria, my woman Olga is a Cardiologist and lives local. Even she could not do this on $300 and tells me also a Westerner has no chance as prices are laid on as soon as they hear your voice. I am Scottish, and we are renowned for being mega careful with money, and I certainly am, and have been from the start 3 years ago. I quickly caught on to letting Olga carry out all price arrangements (renting fiats, rooms, finding cheap hotels etc. ) But a place to sleep for $ 3 ” come on ” get real Admin . Perhaps $300 for 1 person for 2 weeks is only JUST possible but only just. Bear in mind also that is with Crimea being about 30 – 40% cheaper than Kiev.

        Kiev, Odessa and the like is definitely not any cheaper than Spain Italy, or any other place in Europe, and much dearer than Turkey, Romania and the likes. Admin I’m not having a go at you, but your miles out on prices and it gives people false hopes. Stay away from Yalta Balaclava and the likes as they are most expensive places in Crimea to go to ( due to Historical past ) West coast is much cheaper ands every bit as nice. Next year I will marry Olga and then live the rest of my life in Crimea.

        1. About your girlfriend from Ukraine (or Crimea she might be Russian I guess) you will be a happy man. I promise your life with a girl from Eastern Europe, and someone educated and you can share your life with will give you happiness you can not find back home.

          OK now for the economic conversation, I respectfully disagree.

          Your joking right? 300 dollars is what some people live on for a month in Eastern Europe. In fact it was the average in many places and in Ukraine might be above the average at least in the countryside. Since I have lived in Eastern Europe for about a decade I can tell you 300 dollars is a lot of money. One month of life on this.
          OK this is how it is done. You take a train, a basic train. My friend hitchhike but we took a train, a Ukrainian train not a fancy one or International and sleep on the train. It was fun and an adventure. I think it was round trip maybe less than 30 dollars round a trip for the both of us. Then you rent not a hotel but a guest house with people. Not a big cost. Some people sleep on the beach or camp out, a lot actually. This is fun, but we got a guest house. Then you have your fill on pasta and potatoes and we caught some things in the Black Sea and cooked them. It was great. While walking though the mountains we collected while fruits. I love fishing and collecting fruit in Poland we gather all kinds of things from forest. But my wife’s family are farmers and my family in Ukraine is also.
          It was one of the best trips of my life.
          I think 300 might be an over estimate actually. We walked everywhere and read books on the beach and went diving and my wife cooks gourmet meals with garlic and pasta and some herbs and sea food we caught. It was very romantic in fact on another part of this website http://www.claritaslux.com/blog/ you can see us there in Crimea and we do not look to unhappy – it is in the left sidebar near the top the photo of us.

          Olga is Russian not Ukrainian right? Different standard of expectations maybe I do not know. Ukrainians from Western Ukraine are a different level of expectations than Russian girls I have found but maybe I am totally off on this. Not anything against her at all, you hit the jackpot a beautiful doctor and from Eastern Europe, but Russians I think have a world view different?

          But I am American and went to an all boys English boarding school and lived with the Brahmins in Beacon Hill Boston but life in Eastern Europe is best spend in a retro fashion rather living like a westerner, it has a sweeter quality that way.

          In the west, in the USA I am very careful of anyone that has expectations of a standard. Lucky in Eastern Europe the girls do not have high expectations. It is not that they are poor it is they are humble. I mean most of my friends in Poland grew up 5 to 8 people in a room, My wife had six people in one room growing up. My family in Ukraine does not have running water and you know, they have no expectations and are happy with whatever God gives them. 300 dollars is a lot of money and with it you can give very well and have a good life.

          Price is subjective based on supply and demand but mostly subjective, so I have seen people pay 40 dollars for a fancy pizza and my wife will make one with flour and water and some herbs and it is out of this world.

          Look up the diamond water paradox in economics.

          I also have found there is a slight inverse correlation between what I spend on vacation and my happiness. And as you know that applies to women. I recommend a nice girl from Ukraine like you are meeting than a London high expectation career woman.

          It all sounds crazy but the crisis in finance in the west is all fake. It is a crisis of expectations.
          It really upsets me the world is like this. So explain to me how people live on less than 300 dollars a month with buying clothes food etc, Some on 200 dollars but you can not take a trip in Ukraine for this?

          1. “..but the crisis in finance in the west is all fake. It is a crisis of expectations.”

            Dude, you nailed it!

  7. Hi Mark. Well, I finally made it to the Ukraine… I am here now. I have to give you my honest assessment so far.

    1.) The language barrier is very high and although I realize I am very far from home and cannot expect much in this department, it is prohibitive to having any serious conversation with anyone I meet.

    2.) I am observing Ukrainian people and I must say they are just as rude as Americans and perhaps more so. They have a chaotic way of living.

    3.) I see the same cultural elements in effect here as elsewhere in the west.

    4.) Most all the girls smoke cigarettes constantly

    5.) There is little or no receptivity to flirting, eye contact, etc. The girls have/walk around with a stone face without showing any emotion.

    6.) I have observed that many of the females yell and talk loudly and angrily lot. I don’t have to understand what they are saying – it is written on their faces and in the tone of their voice.

    I was hoping to find sweet and old-fashioned, but this is not what I am encountering. I have been to Kiev and Odessa so far. (I know you do not recommend Odessa).

    1. Kiev and Odessa is just that life in the big city.
      Sad faces are all over in Eastern Europe. It is nothing but cultural thing and might be connected to the dark weather, it means nothing.

      The language barrier is the biggest problem. if you spoke some Ukrainian you would have a totally different experience. But even with English, you should have Hollywood status by now. I, nor any of my friend have ever had a problem. In fact my friend last night who has lived in Eastern Europe for ten years was visiting the USA and wrote me, America men have little hope in finding a decent girl in the US of A. he said for all American men he has two words.

      U
      Kraine.
      You have to get away from the primitive smoking people of Odessa. Man if you were to go to New Jersy in the USA and think this is America you are wrong, similarly in some bad section of London. Go to Trenopil and Lviv and flirt with the students. Interact with educated spiritual and intellectual people, that enjoy high culture, art etc.

    2. Somebody tell me about Odessa. I have met a ton of girls from there online but haven’t gone there yet.

      Also, if you are talking about girls in Kiev, and I am no expert by any means, but I found Kiev to be dirty, crowded and run down. I would be rude and cranky if I lived there too.

      Even the train was kind of nasty. I did learn the answer to one Kiev-specific question. How many Ukrainians can squeeze a train? About 10 more. It’s true. Crammed in there.

      1. If you have lived a soft cushy life in the USA then you might have trouble anywhere outside of London. I found the Ukrainian and Polish trains very nice and comfortable. I guess it is a matter how you see material goods and comfort in the world and your relationship to the material world. My wife and I took a 26 hour train ride to Crimea. It was fun.

        I do not like Odessa as it is less Ukrainian than Western Ukraine. I would want to met a nice girl from the countryside with good values, not girls writing guys from the West. But it is according to your world view. I am deeply religous and that is what matters to me. The spiritual world, not the material world. I am happy my wife feels the same.

  8. ok I will keep you posted. I may go to crimea next

    1. Yes I do not recall your age, but focus on university students and women with class, not some girl from the Jersy shore. I have never meet such highly educated people as in Eastern Europe, maybe because of the free University education system, but are so many high class girls here. Just have to look in the right place. Go to a University and see what I mean, go to an art museum or liberary or theater or church or yoga classes. I often did yoga classes on my travels.

  9. Drew.

    You would be stone faced as well if you were on $300-$400 a month. They don’t have life in Ukraine, they have survival. Don’t place any emphasis on angry voices and facial expressions, not a lot actually meant by them and these type of women are usually completely different to what you think they are. I speak only about 100 Russian words, but have managed perfectly well in Crimea for the last 3 years, and it is 10 times harder to find English speakers here than in Keiv or Odessa. Don’t flirt or make eye contact. Jyst go over and talk to them, when they hear an English voice your in BIG TIME. Smile, laugh, talk a lot.Do not bum about how much you have, or how much you make, as they don’t give a toss about that. Just be you. But if your the serious poker face type don,t expect them to smile and be all over you.

    Smiling is infectious remember that. Also Crimean women are much much different than Kiev or Odessa girls. Here in Crimea you will really find the old fashioned type you seek. So go for it Drew amd do not be afraid to approach them. Speak, Smile, Make faces, Joke, even though they havn’t a clue what your saying or you what they say, they love it and soon you’ll have loads and loads of friends and women who want to know you.

    I’m a 63 year old man from Scotland. Coming now 3 years to Evpatoria in Crimea. I met 3 years ago a 54 year old Cardiologist and Olga and I will marry next year. Just be ” You ” Drew. Stop to think. would you smile if you were on $300 a month. Want to see smiles then make them smile. They’re just as human as you or me, and the girls would make far better wifes than ever you’ll find in States or U.K. Believe me.
    Eddie

    1. Some good advice here and thanks for the input. You are a wise man! You know that Ukrainian girls or Russian girls are the best. I can not even tell you how happy I am you say this. There is no comparison. Your girlfriend will make you very happy and a great wife. I am thankful you leave a comment like this as I want other western guys to open their eyes about the fact they do not have to marry the girls next door in the UK or London. or USA. You are a wise man, thank you.

      Forgive my departure however on economic issues, peace and love but I guess I see the world different but maybe not and maybe I do not understand you.

      But I guess I see the world different a bit. I mean survival? Do the Amish just survive?

      Do not take the Westerns world so serious. In eastern Europe I read. Books actually and star gaze and take picnics etc, something I had less time for in the USA. I have lived here in Eastern Europe with a modest life for almost a decade and life has never been sweeter. I think there are a lot of really messed up people in the West, getting involved in all kinds of things and depressed. I live in Poland and see a lot of people who find trust and faith in God not money or material values and this is their happiness. So survival a matter of perspective.

      But your advice is right on about women. Just go up and flirt with them.

      I am curious you have lived in Ukraine for 3 years? This is great. I love Ukraine. It is one of my favorite places on earth. Where will you guys live?

      1. This is a problem I have often pondered in my mind. That is, how much I should spend on vacation. Incrementally everyone is always temped to get the next level of room, meal etc. However, scarcity is the fundamental problem of economics and budgets restrain us.

        But if I were to go to a CIS country like Ukraine I would not have the same level of expectation if I were ever in London, which I have not been. If I were to go to India, I would expect my experience to be different than if I were to go to Denmark. In India or Ukraine I would expect a more rustic vacation but not less refreshing.

  10. Joao Brito says:

    Mark, I think interesting you say “choose a lady from the village over the city.” I think you are right. But my doubt is where to go to approach them. I will visit Lviv in May. Lviv is a big city as I have read. Where to go to meet village girls? Can you recommend any place out of(but close to)Lviv to visit and how can I approach them there?
    João

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      If you believe in destiny I would recommend start now with praying or visualizing. Once there I would walk around the city, go to the old town, but mostly to the student cafeterias. They are all over town, basically like cheap places students eat. There are so many hot girls that go there. There are a number of parks and benches which are great to talk to girls. My approach was always hit on girls in places that are ordinary and non-threatening. On the bus, the tram the park, rather than clubs. You will find nice girls in clubs because women love to dance. Yet playing the lost tourist is a good game. If you are religious try going to some Catholic dialogue meetings. It depends how long you will stay but there are places like that. I mean worst case you go to a disco talk a little Ukrainian (not Russian) and you will meet women. Lviv is a University town so the girls are from all over including the village. If you have time get on a local Ukrainian train and travel to villages and take photos or whatever excuse you have to being in the countryside. Learning some Ukrainian would be a big plus.
      Send the photos to me if you like, I love Ukraine. But basically on trains you will meet a lot of girls because student girls do not or at least should not have cars. You approach should be you are a tourist and you need advice or directions or recommendations or them to take your photo, the chat them up.

  11. First of all I want to thank Mark for publishing my previous comments about agency scams. So far, yours has been the only site where my warnings about untrue policies of dating agencies have been published.

    Your explanation of what Ukraine looks like and how different we Ukrainians (and we women here 🙂 ) is splendid – it’s what I always try to explain the foreigners myself, and it’s so great to read it from an American man! We here are really very different, and women from the West of Ukraine are actually very often much more spiritual, have better housekeeping skills and better looks (it is generally believed among Ukrainians that the most beautiful Ukrainian women live in Podillya – that is Ternopil and Khmelnitskyy regions). Though, of course, it’s better not to fall into generalisations. I only want to defend city-dwellers, as there are also many good women in the cities and towns, too :).

    Asking for help to get acquainted is a good advise, as people here historically have great affection to foreigners and like to show hospitality. Of course, as everywhere, it’s necessary to be attentive.

    1. Is it possible to get some reliable advice here? Perhaps it will help me clear the confusion as to whether she is genuine or just wanting to get as much as possible out of me.

      I met this Ukrainian girl online and I basically developed a very strong connection with her. We met for the first time a few months ago and it was very nice. However, I am having mixed signals, and I am finding it hard to define her position in this. We are both interested in serious relationship that could lead to marriage.

      Anyway these were my observations:

      I noticed she was not willing to be open concerning certain questions I asked. She either gave a very short answer that does not tell much, or just replies in a way that suggests she does not like talking too much. Our conversation does not really flow well, even though I speak Russian well enough for a normal conversation.

      She once asked me to send some clothes for her children. I tried ask questions to help me understand why I needed to do that when she can get the same items in Ukraine, and she was financially capable of buying them. She replied saying “if it is easier to get them here I will not be asking it from you”. She had just returned from job abroad where she had earned about 3000USD. So, she definitely had enough money to buy those clothes. When I did ask her about this, she got slightly offended saying things like, “ok, don’t help me. I’ll do it myself. I have always been doing stuffs myself without help from anyone…” I found this quite rude, but I sometimes wonder if there is a cultural issue behind this that I do not understand. Before this, I had just sent some birthday gifts to her daughter, and earlier I did send a gift to her sister who was getting married. All these were at my own free will.

      Not long ago, we were arranging for her to visit me, to see my life here. I sent here all the documents for her visa, but then things changed. Later she contacted me saying that she can come sometime next year, but only if I buy her ticket and she gets the visa. I do understand her financial situation though. It seems like she is just trying to conserve as much of her money as possible, while still searching for a job.

      Her phone was recently stolen, but when I asked her for her new number, she has asked me why i needed it, and that she is even not going to be using it regularly. I am just wondering if this is actually the case or if it is such that she just wants to confine our communication to skype, etc, when she is at home and connected to the internet.

      I also noticed she is not really keen about we keeping in touch regularly for example by skype. She says she is not used to it, but I was wondering that since we do not have any other cost-effective way to keep in touch regularly, why not use the only one we have effectively. I did ask for her new telephone number, after her phone was stolen, but she was quite reluctant to give it. She says things like, “o you really want my number? Why will you need it? I do not even plan to use it regularly…” But at the end of the day, I do not have her number, and the only way I can contact her is when she is online on skype.

      Sorry for my long post, but I do hope that someone out there, who understands the Ukrainian culture, could help me with ideas on how to test if she is truely genuine or not, because I do not want to get married and get divorced a second time. Any help will be highly appreciated.

      1. Mark Biernat says:

        There are too many red flags here. An open person would allow you basically 24/7 access to their Skype or cell phone. When the cell phone or skype contact is limited, something is up. It all smells of a scam. When requests for money come, for sure it is a scam.

        Maybe I am wrong, but come on, someone stole her cell phone? How often does that happen. I lived in Eastern Europe for a decade and nothing like that happened to me. I dropped my wallet on a tram and it was returned to me the next day.

        I never had women ask for money or tell stories or be secretive about anything. What is this girl about? What city is it? Some people would hire someone to check her out, I would just smoke her out. Ask her questions until she gets defensive and upset and leaves or she shows her true colors.

        You have to learn the Socratic method of questioning women about life issues until you find inconsistencies in their stories about their life view. Ask them question on their life view and philosophy of life. Ask them in specific ways how their life manifests their beliefs?

        There are many beautiful women out there. Find one that is open and honest 100% and believes in higher ideals with no games.

        1. Thank you for your honest feedback. This does confirm some of my suspicion. She is from Kiev. Perhaps she knows I will pick up holes in her answers that is why she refused to answer my questions in enough details?
          When we started corresponding, she was very keen on talking with me via skype. We spoke very often. But before I travelled to see her, she already started to slow down. I was 100% open to her concerning my life and I did send her proof of that as well. for example where I work, where I live, etc. and expected the same. I did talk with her a few times about my concern, and after that she became slightly more open. But still there were signs that she is holding back. I kept wondering if it is because she realised I am not as rich as she expected.
          When we planned to meet, I did fly to the country where she was working via Kiev. There in Kiev I met her sister, her sister’s husband and one of her daughters. They are some of the nicest people I have ever met: very warm, they took me around Kiev, and her sister helped me make taxi arrangements to avoid me paying too much. A few times they bought some items for me, and paid my metro fare. They refused my offer to pay for it, or pay for myself only. Although what they spent was not much, but the heart with which they did it touched me very much. With this experience, I was confident the woman I was going to meet will be an excellent person. But my experience was not that nice. Of course I did not want to start complaining about things I did not like on the first date, so I decided to just observe.

          Even before I travelled to see her, i do ask how her day went, and all she says is “it was fine. It was normal. Nothing special”, and that’s all. So basically I know nothing about her everyday life. So you are right, something is fishing. Or could it be that she is just not happy with the fact that I was not willing to follow her timetable for marriage next year after her studies? She emphasized on that many times during the early stage of our communication, and I did say to her that building the relationship to that point is more important for me, and not just the marriage. Could it be that this kind of put her off, because I did not seem to want to get married that quickly?

          Some things she told me about herself at the beginning seemed to change.

          How could I get someone to check her out? Will be very nice to see what the findings are. Is this a legal thing to do in Ukraine? If it is something we need to discuss privately please let me know how to get in touch with you.

          Whatever happens, it is obvious that I will not be making further efforts to make the relationship workout, and I will definitely not be spending any money at her request. I will only do that out of my free will, in the spirit of genuine friendship and because I love her children dearly. I know they are generally not so fine financially, but I would have been more than willing to do more if she did not come demanding stuffs from me as if I was responsible for her material needs.

          1. Mark Biernat says:

            There are so many variables with the human heart, that is why discernment of the spirit for me is a life long task. No one can predict the actions of another.

            There is a possibility that there are cultural factors in play. Eastern European are often negative and flat in terms of world outlook because of the oppressions of communism. If she is in her twenties than this is less the case. If she is in her forties this is the case. When someone asks how was your day or how are thing, ‘nothing special’ is as normal as someone in the USA saying ‘great’, then filling you in with details.
            Being cold and distant is a signature of the East. If she is more Russian than Ukrainian than this could be the case. If she is from Kiev it could go either way. If she is from East of Kiev it might mean she has this communist/post communist world view of ‘nothing can be good’ ingrained in her. It would be a lifetime of work to undo. The only exception is if she is religious rather than ‘spiritual’ Spiritual is like ‘I believe in something’, but I do not take go the extra mile to transform myself, beyond pop psychology or once in a while doing religious things. Religious is walking the walk, someone who is like, ‘I devote my whole life being a loving, compassionate person and accept any suffering life gives me as a test of my virtue’. Faith is a radical orientation of one’s life, in act, word and deed. This is someone you could work with as a partner in life.

            However, that being said, my question is why does she not be straight with you? There are so many other fish in the sea. So many other girls that would love to have a nice person like yourself show interest in them.

            You have to be direct and ask her, what is going on? be straight.

            Look around at all the beautiful girls there. Most do not care at all about money, only love.

            I really want you to be happy. I want you to have love and fulfilment that I have. All I can do is recommend things I thought when I was dating. I guess the most important thinks really is a persons real, honest work view. I had very detailed conversations about that. What are they really about and who they see the world. If you understand that then the little stuff does not matter. Romantic love brings all kind of people together, but if they should be together for the long term is really the question.

            What is she really about? What is the meaning of her life? And what is the meaning of your life and are these two answers congruent?

            Money should not matter. I know there are feelings and bonding and affection, but I would want at least some sugar. Some sweetness and love and

            1. Thanks again for your honest feedback. A lot of details I did not include just to avoid too long posts, but your reply is like you already ahead of me and already know these things. You hit the nail on the head on many areas:

              You mentioned that eastern european are often negative. I did sense that negativity in her. She is in her 30’s and from Kiev (or at least have lived there a long time), has been through a divorce some years back. Her views about her life suggests that nothing good could come out of it, and no one can love her as she is. She has mentioned a few times, without much details, about how unhappy she is with her life and things she has been through. I tried to get her to explain a bit more what are these things she has been through, but to no avail.
              There is definitely a lot of tell-tale signs of “nothing can be good” in her attitude, even when I try to help her understand that something can be good and we can make it good if we just focused on the most important things and try to improve and grow together. It seems like her main focus is a man who can supply all her needs and is willing to do that. Perhaps since I am holding back in my giving, she sees it as me being stingy or not be kind. When I don’t do what she wants or suggests something quite different with the aim of finding a better option for both of us, she gets upset and talks quite negatively.

              You are absolutely correct when you said, “it would be a lifetime of work to undo”. I had to ask myself many times that if we do get married, will I have the energy and willpower to cope with this kind of attitude all my life. Certainly not.

              Yes she is spiritual, no doubt about that. I like how you described the spiritual and the religious. Very clear, and with that it makes separating the sheep from the goat much easier. Thanks.

              I did wonder many times too why she is not straight with me. I did ask her directly about it. For example, once I suspected she was perhaps checking some other people out and I did ask her directly if she was seeing someone else at the same time as me. There was a long pause, and then she said, “if I have found someone else, I will tell you”. I did ask a few other questions which she cleverly avoided.

              The answers to the meaning of her life and the meaning of my life are unfortunately not congruent. This helps me make a firm decision to let go and not to let emotions take over.

              I would definitely want to keep trying. Any suggestions of online meeting places? I had used some christian dating websites earlier but some suggestions. I don’t just want to travel for the sake of randomly searching for someone.

              1. Mark Biernat says:

                The main idea is, if you trust a person in small things you can trust them in larger. Women that are secretive are not my cup of tea. They rent too much space in my head for free. In other words, I spend an inordinate amount of time analysing and thinking about them in a non romantic way. I am trying to determine if I can trust them, when I could be day dreaming about carnal and lofty ideals in a romantic fantasy.

                Better would be find a hot girl even if she is a bit difficult and out of control, but honest and straight and expressive and no secretes. But a woman who is secretive is trouble.

                I mean there are ways to meet people online without a dating site like via Linkedin, as often your connections know people. For example, I work with a lot of women from Eastern Europe. I just rolled off a contract with a large investment bank. I have scores of European contacts from Facebook and Linkedin as a result. On my Linkedin are their friends, friends. I am not recommending using Linkedin as a dating site, but these people are real in the sense they are educated professionals and know someone you know.

                The downside is these are professional women.

                What about meeting women in Wholefoods or yoga or other ways to meet foreign women in the USA?

                For websites, I would try Facebook or some of the free ones.

                I still think the best are Christian dating sites. This would be my focus. I would try Eastern European portals like http://sympatia.onet.pl/ This site a few of my friends got married from. It is in Poland but there are Ukrainian women there also. And Polish women are very nice, too. I am Polish and Western Ukrainian in background.

                I would try everything. I would pull out all stops. You should not visit a girl unless you have all your fears addressed and really have a connection, based on the meaning of life questions. I guess that is what I would do.

                What I did was travel. I mean my wife in person, took time off from my career and time for my life. I taught English abroad.

  12. Hi Mark,
    Can you comment about girls from Kirivograd? what do you think about them? I met a girl online and she is a student, but she wants to me outside of Ukraine rather than in her town. Is it advisable or not to meet outside? out of her country of Ukraine? Is she Ukrainian girl or Russian? mixed maybe? But I am going to marry her if we have the right chemistry.

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      What are you thinking man? If I am corresponding seriously with a girl I want to know everything and even the ability to meet her family and friends. I think she is Russian, but I do not know. I guess it depends how long you have known her as she might not want to bring home every online guy. But if you are serious, I would have to meet her family and friends and know her world view as well as other things. Full transparency or do not waste my time, if I was dating online.

  13. My question is slightly different. I am educated and seek girl of high education as wife. I have an interpreter from Odessa who I will use to drive me from Odessa to Dnipropetrovsk, Kharkiv, back to Poltava, and finally back to Odessa. I understand the whole east west thing, always have. But many of the best Medical universities are in the east and south. And if searching for girl pursuing high education, one needs to visit university cities. It is just that simple. Also the girls I meet have good parents, but like you say they still like to shop and are materialistic. That is fine by me because I am too. But I am more into marrying a doctor, nurse, engineer and so on because I live in a big city where it is easy for such girls to gain employment in these areas. I also try to find girls still living with parents and serious about their studies, rather than the model types (stay away from them- models live in the moment and are blinded by money and things and can end up bankrupting you or on street as drug addict because some will do anything to stay skinny, or on the party scene)

    I have new question for girls in eastern and southern Ukraine because the war has changed everything in Ukraine and united everyone. All hate Russia. Men are being sent to the war, along with boys as their is a mandatory draft. And since girls over populated Ukraine before, imagine how it will be soon. Ukraine is also on fresh path to join NATO, along with Moldavia and Georgia, sourly throwing Putin back on his heels.

    Money: There is not one girl in Ukraine who can compare money grabbing girls in USA other countries. Even richest young girls are poor. So wearing a nice dress or something is really about making men look at them, notice them, many are practically begging for love, seeing their chance for marriage pass them by as they age, with no man touching the most beautiful girls because men know they want babies…and that they will figure out a way to make it happen

    So are the regions so different now, taking into consideration that you are 100% correct that girl seeking education and who has strong family values is really the only main things a man needs to concentrate on? I understand the running away any chance they can get in eastern Ukraine, hence the WAR! And I do not seek girls from war regions because that would be like walking into a nightmare due to the psychological damage already inflicted. But Kharkov is still free, Odessa too, and that might have been a reason you pointed men away from those areas. I have never traveled to western Ukraine. But in trips to Poltava and Odessa I have met very nice girls, granted my girls will not meet just some man because they are very pretty and wary of meeting strangers to marry them.

    Best advice I can give? If you want pure physical relations, go to a special house for that. If you want love, get to know a girl, get her to trust you, then go there and make love to her…not for a roll in the hay only, rather love. She will know the difference. I think you will find you can find a girl anywhere if you go there to love her.

  14. I checked it on the internet and it is in Eastern Ukraine which you say isn’t good, but it is also a small city of 23,000 people which you say is good. I’d like to know your opinion on that.
    Thanks

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      I am not a big fan of Eastern Ukraine but might have a personal bias because of my experiences with the Russian Ukrainian girls in Eastern Ukraine compared to the Western Ukrainian girls. In the West they tend to be religious and traditional. In the East they tend to have more a post Soviet Russian culture. That is they use the words about family and traditions but they are not a radical in their loyalty and divorce is more common statistically. I would have to research that but this is what I have experienced. They are also more materialistic. If you met someone from there it might not be true at all as generalizations are distortions of the truth. However, I would examine the core values of anyone I would consider dating. Are the humanistic in a general sense and just talk or do the details of their actions align with their beliefs?

  15. Hi Mark

    I’ve read your posts with interest; scoured the Internet for information regarding Ukrainian women.
    I’ve just returned from Dnepropetrovosk simply because I met a woman on line & we seemed to get along okay.
    I’m a rock musician, drummer; she’s a singer ; we found we had lots in common.

    However, even after meeting her I still feel defensive; there’s so much conflicting advice on the Internet it’s difficult to know what to do for the best.
    Sometimes I feel like walking away; forgetting this woman; at other times I think I’m just being a cynical Westerner, as I’m a Londoner, born; raised.

    I was only there 6 days as it was just an introductory meeting but not a tour, I made my own arrangements.
    We did the fancy dining; all that but compared to London prices it was dirt cheap so it didn’t bother me; at those prices I’d be fine dining every day if I lived there.
    The woman I met is a veterinary surgeon so she seems to have a decent lifestyle; I think her parents are wealthy but she was coy in revealing too much. It kind of reminded me of old fashioned dating in the West in the 50’s; 60’s; quite unlike dating in modern London, which I found quaint.

    However, she hit me with a request for an expensive coat during our last meal together which took me back. I refused stating to was too early for such gifts,. Disappointed ensued but she appeared to get over it.

    However, she claims she has her own money; is not interested in mine; the coat was for her a sign of trust; commitment for her.
    I didn’t really buy that but I’ve got to admit I made the mistake of promising to take her shopping before I made my trip, thinking some perfume or a skirt.
    But in this woman’s case she claimed to have all those things; said when a man gives a woman a gift certain expectations are attached; to save disappointment on both sides it’s best to ask what gift she wants.
    I’m older than her; found these comments distasteful, as I’ve never given a gift with expectations attached. Of course it could be a warning sign or it could just be a reflection on the Ukrainian guys she’s previously dated but I can’t decide which.

    Her English ain’t so good, so she’s now having lessons that I’m paying for; that’s the thing.
    Some people say, if she’s your woman; she needs help, then help her, compared to Western values, it’s not much money; of course the girls over their expect their men to take care of everything for them.
    That’s all fine and dandy but this is where the lines become blurred; cause confusion because it’s expected by the woman because that’s how they do things. It’s hard to figure out if she’s trying to screw me out of money or is being genuine with you.
    I left her 1,400 UAH before I left to start her off on her English lessons which she said covered 4 private lessons.
    I get that Eastern Ukraine tends to be more materialistic but I’ve never met a woman who doesn’t like material stuff; nice things but in the UK it’s easier to tell if a woman is into you as a person or is just in it for what she can get but due tot he cultural differences, I’m having trouble working it out.

    Is there any advice you could give me or anything I can say to this woman to get a handle on the situation without causing offense or disrespect?

    Many thanks

    Adam

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      Adam, I have lived in Eastern Europe for many years and my family is from Ukraine and Poland. Even though I am American raised in New England. I have family that are Londoners also and I work for an investment bank based in London so I feel I have an understanding of both cultures.

      My core advice is any woman who asks for gifts or money would not be for me. A sign of trust has nothing to do with money. Love and money are almost opposites.

      If you are a London drummer chances are you not religious, which I understand. However, for all humans when it comes to love there must be transcendence. Transcendence above this world even if not manifest in a religious expression. A transcendence like nothing of this world’s problems, like money or culture really matter and is never really brought up. I know people who date and can not even speak the same language. Trust and love are almost synonymous and it is not based on money.

      I feel so strongly about that that my advice is clouded and perhaps not objective or relevant in your case. But you are right it is the wild west of dating in Eastern Ukraine. Better is Western Ukraine and not on a tour. Another idea is just go there or Krakow, Poland and meet artsy talented humble people like yourself that care about love and not a coat. Many of these Eastern Ukrainian girls on tours have honed their skills to start training men based on money. A little honey and vinegar are their methods. Do you really want to deal with that?

      I know a million Slavic women in the USA, London and Eastern Europe and none of my personal friends are like that, nor are they like that in the context of the business environment I work in. They are humble and introspective women who focus on other worldly pleasures like music, art, literature and spirit.

      1. Honey & vinegar.
        A good description.
        My friend says I’m attracted to high maintenance women but I would say the opposite, they come on to me, even though I’m not a rich guy.
        No I’m not religious but I am spiritual & and agree money has nothing to do with feeling and love.

        However, besides this one show of materialism by the women, it’s the only time she’s asked me for anything in nearly a year of knowing her.

        It was said via the translator that when a man gives a gift to to the woman certain expectations are attached and to save disappointment it’s best to ask what present is required.
        You say these girls practice the art of honey and vinegar from a young age.

        I thought this attitude may be a reflection of the type of guys she has hung out with dated as I’ve never given a gift with expectations attached.
        But you make it sound like a cultural thing, almost like the girls are schooled in how to manipulate a man’s feelings for their own gain.

        Is that more specifically related to the Russian attitude rather than Ukrainian, considering Russia’s influence in the East of the country.

        What surprised me the most was prior to our meeting, she had told me specifically not to buy her any expensive presents, saying she could not accept them because it was too early in the relationship.

        So I did wonder if it was a test because I understand Slavic women will be testing you in the getting to know you stages, as a way of finding out what type of guy you are.

        If she was insincere or a pro-dater, wouldn’t she be inclined to move onto the next guy once she realizes I’m no push over and do not represent a personal ATM for her?

        I’m a kind of ‘three strikes and you are out’ type of guy & like to give people the benefit of the doubt, as none of us are perfect & we all make mistakes.
        Call me naive but I prefer to believe in the inherent goodness of human nature rather than view human behavior through cynical eyes.

        However, I do not easily trust, trust has to be earned in my view, so I until I get to know someone properly, I will always be on my guard.
        I have a feeling this one is just going to have to play out until I get definitive information I’m being used.

  16. Jim Carrey says:

    There are too many males that do not act like men.

    Why is that?

    First, it really doesn’t matter where to look for a women on this planet,
    the are all the same.

    Next, why would you travel from one end of the world to another? just to meet women? if you are man enough you can handle it anywhere – and I am not Russian
    in case you want to drop me to the macho pool.

    Next, why would be a Russian Ukrainian girl less favourable then a Ukrainian Ukrainian girl? If you state what you want, the materialistic girl from Russia
    will leave and look for the next victim. Mind, that most of our friends in the west, are mostly broke from being married to a western women

    Next, you western metro guys from West Europe, and especially from the USA, need more training in how to handle and control a women. Nothing
    is solved in throwing money after a women.

    Ukraine is an old fashion post soviet country. And that will stay there for a while. There is more community sense then most of the selfish-centred
    egoistic westerns are used too. You will experience that in any poorer country.

    Here is my advise to boy who want to be men:

    1. Man up – get some exercise
    2. Understand what a women want (ex a nest and a take carer)
    3. Be able to defend your women, ex get some training
    4. Do not walk after a women like a dog. its all the same with them.
    if you can not control them, they control you – if y like it good for you
    5. Man up – don’t be a western wimp.

    Thanks to the Russians the place is not raided by western
    dictatorships and flooded with slave factories and systems
    thanks to the Russians there is somebody defending this country
    and thanks to the Russians its a cultural homogenize place.

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      This is a primitive analysis and would view. This type of approach will work with a limited number of women and not necessarily for a lifetime. The women you might get with this approach are not quality. The person you become by using this approach is unnatural. Does the term jersey girl and guy ring a bell.

      Remember nature does not care about you personally but rather the perpetuation of the species. Neanderthals when extinct (even metaphorically). In order for the species to survive I believe people who have genes of cooperation and intelligence rather than game playing.

  17. Art Scott says:

    Hello Mark,

    I am really glad I have found your website your posts are very interesting and informative. My name is Art I also grew up in New England I’m from Ipswich MA about 20 minutes north of Boston. I became interested in Ukrainian women about 6 or 8 months ago as an alternative to an American wife ( had one really high maintenance and she ended up cheating on me ) I’m not bitter live and learn. Anyway I met a Ukrainian women about 4 months ago online on a dating site she is from Kiev and she is a lawyer in the prosecutors office very attentive and loyal it wasn’t long before we left the site and began communicating through personal emails and texting and I have planned a trip to Kiev in August to meet her and her family. We have discussed money on several occasions for various reasons and she has never asked me for anything. I have told her that I would of course be glad to help her after we had met in person and her response was of course I will wait for the meeting. She is divorced with a 12 yr old daughter although not officially married I am guessing like a common law marriage here in the states, she also works as a maid 12 hours a week at one of the hotels in Kiev to provide for her and her daughter as the father has no contact. This is my question to you presently, I send her roses every few weeks I would like to start sending her the money rather than flowers as I am thinking $50.00 every two weeks as I know this will help her much more than flowers (she makes $75.00 a week as a lawyer). I will of course explain to her that my intention is to show her my support and explain that I realize that money has nothing to do with love, devotion, and trust. How do you feel she will view my intentions?

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      What you wrote I can appreciate. I am there with you in the sense that I am a hopeless romantic. I love the Boston area and do miss it.

      OK my advice is this, and I mean this in the most compassionate way, meet her first before money is sent, if ever. Why is money always involved in love with international dating? Love is pure unless money gets intertwined.

      Do not feel the need to save the world financially, as it is not needed. I teach economics and really have studied how to help people financially. If you want to help people help their crowd funding or give money to an orphanage or parochial school.

      It is like in Eastern Ukraine and Russia the best selling book on Amazon is how to tell a drama, sob story to an American so he can not help but want to give money to adult women without them asking. I live in Eastern Ukraine and as bad as it might seem economically it is a sweet life because it has not been corrupted by money. Even if you have no money, people grow their own food, read books and play chess and walk in the park.

      What is needed is love and support. When you mix money into anything it messes the best intentions. If you feel the need to give to her, better might be varied gifts. Gifts such as flowers, then the next time an amazon gift card or something like that, Amazon UK might be able to send things there, you would have to research that. I bought a zillion things from Amazon UK in Poland. But think you get the point. A gift for a treat now and then is OK.

      However, you do not want to live on ice cream for breakfast and turn Netflix on as soon as you get up in the morning. Too much of anything sweet becomes distasteful.

      So better is you write letters or fly there and spend time with her. Maybe get her giftcards if you must. If she has an apartment I would buy her plants. Potted herbs like Rosemary for example. What about Ikea Ukraine gift cards. Spending girls cash is not the way to go for many reasons.

      1. Art Scott says:

        Thank you for the advice I do feel the same way and will follow your advice and keep money out of the mix, there will be plenty of time for that later if the relationship grows into something meaningful, as we are becoming closer I had just felt the need to be there for her it is who I am, but you are correct thank you again.

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