When traveling through time and space is it better to follow your every whim and desire unfettered? Do I like to play life by my rules and have it my way? Absolutely.
Or is it better to have a partner, which comes sacrifice and compromise? Someone to watch to watch my back for me when things get hot. Someone to breath new courage in my when my own heart fails.
I have done both. My verdict is unequivocally, a partner is eons better, no comparison.
Every globe-trotting player/gentlemen traveler or Indiana Jones adventurer I know would ultimately starts to self destruct or falter if they do it alone. Some have good runs and enjoy their illusionary freedom and hedonistic romps, however, in the end something happens.
For example, one of my friends is a drinker, another a gambler another caught a disease despite extreme precautions, another somehow after a life of being skinny and fit got fat and bald almost overnight. Girls self destruct even faster because they fade into obscurity as the new crop of twenty something women catch men’s eyes.
It is almost like nature has programmed humanoids that fly solo through their life for self-destruction. Even if you do Zen meditation and eat right, it seems something in the fabric of the cosmos starts to tear around you, unexpectedly. I can not explain. I see it over and over again. The arrogance of youth is trumped by life. I used to think people who were sick were had a mental problem or did it to themselves. How naive I was, even if there is a causal relationship from your spiritual body to your physical body it is not one to one.
From an evolutionary perspective among primates children of monogamous parents have greater protein and protection and their parents DNA has a greater chance to proliferate in the future and do great things.
In contrast the evolutionary ‘spread your seed’ folks seem to have offspring that have a difficult time in life. Only with the help of a social state to these people survive.
The newest research supports monogamy as the choice current in evolution.
From a Christian perspective monogamy and staying with your spouse is clear.
To get married or not to get married? – that is the question
Being married and monogamous is the way to be
- Courage – Your wife will instill courage and check your moral compass in check in a way that in congruent to your ideals.
- Proverbial rolls in the hay are one of the main reason to get married – You will get a lot more physical action. Unless you have complete control and access to a full-time night girl you can not keep up with married people who can do it all the time. My mantra is find someone who you are hot for, and really is from your boyhood fantasy. She does not have to be the perfect Photoshop Cover Girl, you would pleasure yourself to in say Self Magazine or your favorite girly website. Rather she has to just have that ‘je ne sais quoi’ for you.
- It is not about being happy – Viktor Frankl – I was getting a haircut at your local strip mall place this weekend and my stylist was hitting on me. Besides the fact that I am married, I have no idea in what dream world she thinks she could snag me. She is divorced and looking for a sugar daddy (I do not make that much). She explained to me, like all American women explain to me, they just were not that happy in their marriage/ relationship. She said she got one of those turbo divorces in two weeks. My rebuttal is, marriage is not about being happy, nor is life. You are here to be humble servants of God. You stay married in sickness and in health and happiness and unhappiness and through this experience a higher meaning is revealed to you. I am not casting judgement on those who have made youthful trivial mistakes and have no children, but those who have a family. Life has a quality that goes beyond happiness, it is called meaning. I recommend Viktor Frankl’s book ‘Man’s search for meaning’.
- Complex stratification of reality – Unless you are base because your brain has atrophied from checking your mobile phone too often or you are culturally deprived from being a latchkey kid and parents did not care enough about you to guide you to higher ideals or you waffled in Woody Allen type existential anxiety and perpetual adolescence, eventually you will find you need transcendence. Every human needs transcendence. Being a peaceful warrior mystic monk gets old after a while. In contrast being married does not if you catch the right one.
I have been my wife for years and daily, when I least expect it, I make quantum leaps and discover new aspects about life and existence I could never have single. These are usually manifest in experiences rather than something I could convey.
- Male female schism – Have you ever gone into a chicks place and noticed how nice and comfy it looks. Contrary to all this talk about man caves etc, guys like nice Martha Stewart/ Coastal Living type places, they just do not have the time or focus to make it so. When you have a partner you place looks great. You might want to revisit the Star trek episode ‘Spock’s Brain’.
- Money – In contrast to being single, being married and monogamous seems to have rewards not talked about often, that is monetary. If you have read Napoleon Hill’s books, few single people really are successful in life because they dissipate their libidinous energies. Napoleon Hill was commissioned by one of the kings of capital of Old to study why some men succeed in life while others fail. Being partnered has a lot to do with it.
- Safety not guaranteed – If you want a quirky movie to illustrate some of these points I recommend ‘Safety not Guaranteed’.
The bottom line is: As you travel through time and space you want to have someone to watch your back for you when the heat gets hot. If you do not understand this I can not explain it to you. Perhaps you have not really lived or faced certain death. If you want to unplug from your adolescent illusions, walls and rituals that protect you and live as a man, try getting married. You just have to capture the right one and it will all be OK and your real life will begin.
If you need advice on how or why to break the cycle of being single or question why you need to, leave a comment. If you like what I have written share this post. I think it benefits others to hear the truth about partnership from someone who has been around the world and back and has some perspective.