Author: Mark Biernat

Why girls looks are important for attracting love

If you do not like the way you look you will not be fully happy. I know. I am a man and yet, a large part of my life, even as a male I was upset I did not have GQ or look, I did not seem to be popular with women and thought there was something wrong with me. There was not.  Only in retrospect did I realizes that looks are specific.  You need looks to attract the one you love. That is it. Not to win some popularity contest.

• You are not in competition with anyone. Your one and only reason to be attractive is to have a mate for life.

If you want it for other reason examine if this is not connected the ego of an adolescent needing self-assurance. Nothing wrong with that, mind you, we all do, but remember looks are to hook love, the one true love of your life.

If you are a girl, than you must feel even wost as society judges girls for their looks a lot harder than men. You might feel you will not attract the one you love. Wrong. You will not attract everyone, but it is for the better. Those high school local heroes that were so cordial and you could never attract, are often over the hill by age 30 and did not transmute their power to spiritual and intellectual development because they were resting on their laurels. The good-looking girls are even worse. You want to be the nerd girl who people made your feel bad, but then got the fairy-tale prince. The when you see those cruel, heartless girls that made you feel worthless in fifteen years, you can just say this:

Let me ask you a question. When did you start thinking you were smarter than me? … with your prince taking you by the arm just walk away.

Your view of your body and looks, both men and women is one of the largest determinate criteria for happiness of a person. Why? I think nature makes it this way because we want to attract a good mate for reproduction.

I get critical comments from time to time about women who say I judgemental when I write about how to optimizes your looks. You miss my point and I mean this sincerely.

Girls are too critical of their own bodies and their definition of what is attractive is a distortion of reality. It brings them unhappiness. The reality is my basic criteria for attraction is universal, a fit body and some nice style. I am not talking expensive style, more like jeans and a white t-shirt, long hair and some accessories. No matter what you think you look like this gives you enough power to knock the socks off any guy walking down the street. I know I am a guy.

What girls think is attractive but is not important

• A pretty face. It amazes me how many fairy-tale princess like girls think they do not have an attractive face. It is because you are looking at yourself with girls eyes, not guys eyes. What is beautiful on a face is not what you think. Further, you are the product of 1 million years of evolution, nature has designed you for attraction (so has God). So get off your high horse and stop judging yourself. Start looking in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful and you have a beautiful face. If you have any doubts you can write me at my contact and send me aphotoand I can give you personal suggestions if you like. But believe in yourself and read my post on facial beauty.
• Expensive hair, nails and clothes are slightly inversely connected to attractiveness. I do not even have to comment on this. Some Poor girl from Russia or Ukraine with jeans and a t-shirt and the courage to grow her hair long will get more looks than any American girl who shops at Coach. Read my post on how to be beautiful or how to be attractive. They were written a while back so maybe I was a little dramatic or flamboyant, but you need to know, just develop your inner self and stay sit and thin and the rest will take care of itself. I have to go back and reread these and see if that was the message I conveyed, maybe it is more in the comments.

What is important for looks

• A body that is healthy and in the normal range. I would put this below size 8 American sizes.
• Long hair.
• Intellectual and spiritual development
• Wanting to be a good girlfriend or wife. – basically learn humility, read a lot of Jane Austen and develop your mind and spirit so you are a vessel of love. Your heart radiates from your heart center energy of love and forgiveness.

That combination will work anywhere and any girl can do this, so there is no excuse not to optimize your looks to attract a the man of your dreams.

One last note, if you learn to cook and do it with love you will beat 95% of the American girls out there, who always say, I do not cook but make up for it in other ways, ‘wink, wink’. Gee, most guys would prefer the former because everyone these days does the latter and it does not make you stand out. Learn to cook and you will have guys knocking at the door. But ignore anything I write here that does not sit with you and take the good and loving things if I seem a little flamboyant.  So set your expectations about attractiveness and looks based on the reason you have them, to find your one and only. Because after all, all this beauty is for nothing else but to get your prince so you can have your family and live happily ever after with them.

If you ask most guys, they would reply hands down is a woman’s body is more important for physical attractiveness than her facial features.

• I would say character and moral virtue is the most important. Yet ones ability to moderate oneself and exercises influences your body. Arguable this is an external manifestation of disciple or self control and the ability to postpone culinary gratification for a greater idea, beauty.

That is actually good news as your body, you have more control over in terms of reshaping than your face. Many famous movie stars and models have mediocre looking faces at best, but are beautiful. To illustrate this point consider, Sarah Jessica Parker or Anne Hathaway or Angelina Jolie, these ladies have strange-looking faces, but their bodies are stunning and many men have fantasized about these women.

In contrast, someone like Oprah has a nice face, proportional and classic, but I would never be attracted to her because she does not strike my fancy in terms of body. I can not imagine too many teenage body with an Oprah poster over their bed, the clown face looking Anne Hathaway, yes she is so cordial because of her shape.

I am sorry if I speak the truth, I think this is the way most guys would think. I know I am a guy and have been around guys talking about women, my whole life.  I have never heard a guy say ‘she has a nice little nose’, rather, I do hear, she has ‘a cordial rack’, ‘a caboose that will not stop’  or ‘imagine what she could do with those legs’.  Guys do not talk about a woman’s skin quality or their face, only girls do. Girls obsess about their face and they have no need to. All they have to do is eat moderately and join a gym or walk a lot and men will naturally be attracted to you.

It is one million years of evolution that has determined that men go for a woman’s body and further at this point, every woman can be physically attractive.

• Beauty has more to do with body than face. Your body is an empty canvas and you can paint and shape it anyway you like. It is also your temple and to be respected as it is the vessel that carries you through life to do the things you want.

Why is a cordial body more important? When you come down to it, men look for healthy men to carry their genetic material. Sorry it is instinctive. If you do not have a healthy body do not fret, you can. Chest size by the way is not important, it is the whole, if the girl has good proportions naturally. This equates to a healthy level of fitness like a yoga or pilates girl would have.

Face you do have control over, but your body shape you do. With your body you can reinvent and change your curves no matter if you are a pear or an apple.  Further, you do not have to be perfect with your body. In Italy, there is an expression ‘corpulent is half the beauty’.  All you have to be in a reasonable range and nature will do the rest.

A reasonable range I have defined as size 8 American or under, basically if you do anything to condition your body you can be beautiful.

• If you are out of control with your body image consider, weight lifting or strength training. This is because it is on of the best exercises for girls when they need a sense of control over their bodies. In fact, I think it is a good counter to anorexia because the objective is not to simply lose weight but to gain control and strength. Women do not have to worry about building too much muscle because it will not happen because they do not have enough testosterone. A good substitute for this is Pilates, yoga and swimming. Anything that focuses on body mastery rather than just losing weight.
• If you are not out of control consider walking or yoga or something fun and you can do all the time. My wife and I shoot baskets (basketball) in the back of the YMCA when our daughter is in daycare, but most of the time we walk and bike as we choose not to have a car, and yes I live in the USA.
• We all take vitamins and anti-oxidants and eat mostly fish and chips and things we like but moderately. Eat to live not live to eat, there are more exciting things than food.
• Women fantasize about food a lot maybe because it is part of their programming as mothers and caretakers of the human race, but the key idea with food is it is not to be ‘either/or’.  ‘All or nothing’ thinking is not healthy in life. Unlike a bad habit you can not give up eating, you need to go under the principle of moderation. Read about the philosophy of moderation and temperance. If you have trouble with this, get coaching or help from your friends or others. Hire a trainer at the gym if you need help, it is worth the investment.
• Visualization helps reshape your body on a holographic level. This is too complex to go over here, but it would suffice as to say it is powerful. Be honest with yourself about how you want your life to look like. Do not say, ‘I accept my size 18’ if you know it sows the seeds of your own ill-health or keeps you from dating the man of your dreams. Just be honest with yourself, you can jump up and down and be upset with me and call me names, but the truth is I am trying to just tell you one man perspective. Nothing more nothing less. What you do with the information is your responsibility not mine. Think of the story of the emperor with no clothes.

Body types and allure

There is a lot written on body types any woman’s magazine talks about them, most people are a combination. I am an eco-meso for example. I am thin and athletic. I have always been painfully sensitive about my life and take myself too seriously.  Know your body type and maybe some psychological weaknesses. What are you and what are your weaknesses? ectomorph,mesomorph or endomorph

• Ectomorphic girls tend to need more love and support and are sensitive. They do not have an overweight problem, but are sometimes too thin. They are more introverted and really need to learn not to wage war with their body. Most eating disorder people, men and women tend to be ectomorphic and it is connected with lack of self-love. Love yourself, it is very hard but important for happiness. Remember you are not in competition with anyone. Who are you competing against, God will love you either way. There are no wrong choices in life, only learning experiences and do not worry about what your parents think. These ideas helped me at least. But I am 48 almost 50 and still over coming these issues. We are all set up with issues in our life and it takes a lot of love and patience to over come them. But waging war on your body is not the answer. I destroyed parts of my body with self dislike as I worked myself into the ground.  Do not make my mistake,  love your body and relax life is long and you might be surprised how life changes natural. Trust the life process. Just take it easy and enjoy your life a bit.
• Endomorphic girls tend to need to moderate and learn acceptance and engage in more cardio type programs. They look in the mirror a lot and their issues is to over come self loathing about their shape and use it to their advantage. Set realistic goals of being a size 8 rather than a size 4. Girls with curves can be the cordialtest, just take it easy and read up on nutrition.
• Mesomorphic girls, need to learn their balanced shape only lasts until about 23 before they lose their shape, so develop the habit of fitness. The models and stars in highschool I know, I look them up years later and they look the worst, as they relied too much on their natural genetic balance and let themselves go down hill. Remember the story of the tortoise and the hare.

Understand the human component that we all grow old and our bodies goes down anyway. Do not worry, find someone who loves you and it will not matter.  Read the story of the Velveteen Rabbit and develop your mind and spirit and your body will not matter as much.

There is nothing more to it. Every girl has the chance to be an 8 (both dress size and rating from 1 to 10)  if she wants, there is nothing more to it. You are beautiful and the things you worry about are not important.  Just focus on your life, languages, music, travel and be moderate. Once you have your other half your life will change so much all those silly things you worried about when you were single will fade away. But first you need to be a contender for a prince by looking good and in my view that is having a healthy, toned body.

Do you want to have a beautiful face?  I have some good news for you, read on, it is not what you think. I have written a lot on how to be attractiveness for girl. Most of my writing is connected to developing your mind, spirit style and being thin (sorry but its true, thin is in). These are personality or physical characteristics that can be changed. One aspect of beauty that can not be changed too much is a girl’s facial attractiveness, or can it? And this begs another question, are the experts and judges of looks right?

Reality check: Facial attractiveness on a woman has been written about and studied ad nauseam by PhD psychologists who are trying to justify their existences in academia. However, the truth is most of them would not know what do if they walked into a Moscow disco full of cordial Russian girls who do not match their concepts of facial attractiveness. Here is why.

Facial beauty is like architecture

There are two views on attractiveness, one being classical facial beauty and one being romantic facial beauty.

Some people like symmetry and classical Dorian style. This is the classical conception of an attractive face and is connected with proportion. I find this boring. I mean do you like homes which are perfectly symmetrical and in Roman style? Really, those are nothing to write home about, a column on the right the same proportion as a column on the left. Yawn. Delicate and cute is not a stunning as enchanting.

I prefer the romantic or baroque disproportionately.  Think of the striking facades of old Europe. This makes my heart flutter. Similarly,  a face that is a combination of symmetry and asymmetry is much more interesting and will hold someone’s interest longer, maybe just long enough to make them fall in love with you.

Being unusual it is much more striking, do you not think? Every Hollywood or Bollywood actress has a feature that is striking.

• Look at Anne Hathaway and her big nose and mouth, but I do not see that holding her back.
• I prefer girls for example with thick eyebrows like supermodel Gisele from Brazil.
• What about all those countless runway models with funny looking faces, for example, girls with large noses? Check out super model Carolina Pantoliano sometime, I think it would be a hard argument to say she is not gorgeous.

I could go on and give countless examples but no need to.

What about acne? If you take my metaphor about buildings, do you like steel and concrete like a clean Manhattan office bank or do you like rustic grunge like an old refurbished mill? I think girls are way to critical of their own facial imperfections. They have some conception of what a face should look, and they believe it needs to be like an Ivory girl, wrong.

News flash, all girls are attractive, as long as they are not a size 10 plus , have excessive piercings and tattoos and know how to be stylish will have no problem attracting a mate. Facial beauty is the last think you should worry about. If you do not find yourself attractive do mirror work.

One side note: It is interesting to that through adolensece, girls faces do not change as radical as boys faces, which when bathed in hormones become more pronounced to protect themselves in combat and competition. Girls to women are not as radical change as boys to men.

Mirror work until you are beautiful

One of the most painful things to do is look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. Do it until you believe it. If there is something you do not like about yourself, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are one of God’s creations and you are perfect the way you are.

Cosmetics and facial creams for attractiveness on women – just for the fun of it

Basically all you need is some natural soaps to clean your face and maybe a few subtle accents if makeup is fun for you, but not too much. Do not feel you need to hide every imperfection. Do not cover anything up, rather use a little natural lipstick from time to time but do not hide too much. There are such cool shades of red or fruit colors or whatever.  Better is to let your skin breath, spend the money on vitamins and good food and your skin will glow naturally, than a few accents if you want to have fun. I personally like girls without makeup better than girls who cake it on.

If you are interested in a guy’s conception of beauty and attractiveness beyond facial beauty here are a couple of my other articles.

• How to be attractive – Pulchritudinous not only connected to the face
• How to be beautiful – What is sublime
• Facial beauty connected to proportionality – this is an academic theory of beauty, but if you read closely, it is not textbook, and recommended.

Let me know what you think about my conception of facial attractiveness on a woman.

Dating and love is a little like a mystery novel unfolding. If it was not it would not be as fun. However, a lot of mental anxiety during the dating process comes from the fact that A likes B but B does not like A because B likes C.  Have you ever had this situation? Can you imagine, if you could just read your potential dates mind, it would make it a lot easier. For example, you could be dating a girl and talking to her roommate and discern if this is really the girl who wants to date based on how much she primordially you. This post is about my favorite pet way to tell if a girl likes you.

Why signs of attraction are important

You need to be able to read the signs of  potential dates, and react to them in a way that best suits your dating strategy. Information is power after all.  If someone is disinterested you might want to cut your losses and move on. If you could only read a girl’s mind and know what she is thinking. Well here are a couple of ways to determine if a girl like you. There is nothing better than asking and also trying and not giving up on a girl, as I believe you can change women’s minds. However, the direct approach is often not the best because it gets all weird and akward if the answer is unclear.

However, if you want to know if a girl likes you and want some objective feedback on how you are doing with the whole winning her heart process here is one way to tell. If we could just understand what a woman thinks.

Pupil dilation as a sign if a girl is attracted to you

If you want to know how to determine if a girl likes you it is pretty easy. Look at her pupil dilation. It is a basic tenet of human psychophysiology that when someone’s pupils dilated they are excited they like you. Similarly if they contract it is a sign of disinterest.

People have individual norms for how much their pupils will dilate to stimulus so you have to base it on their baseline dilation and their reaction to you. Try to judge their reaction based on their norm and when they see you.

This works even on babies. A baby’s eyes will dilate more with some external stimulus that they like, and believe it or not attractive people.

Women’s eyes will dilate more at looking at a baby than a good-looking man.

These are primitive reactions connected to the limbic area of the brain and really can not be controlled. So make eye contact with a girl and try to observe her reactions to things and conversation. Now I am not a techniquey guy and do not advocate doing this as a modus operandi for dating, however, it is a fun thing to consider.

This is not body language mind you. Body language can be manipulated or stage. However, this is deep in the unconscious working of your brain. It would take a real yogi from India to be able to control autonomic functions like that.

In fact to give you an idea how deeply neuro-reactions are connected to this world, two Canadian engineers created a visor where they would flicker lights at your eyes and the rate of your brains reaction to those lights fairly accurately determined your IQ.

Your eyes are nothing more than an extension of your brain.

Of course pupils respond to light and darkness so you have to factor this in when you are considering evaluating levels of attraction.

Lip fullness

In a very subtle way a woman’s lips can become fuller when interested in you. This is harder to tell than above but it not a body language thing but more a physical autonomic reaction, so I have more trust in it.

Body language

No need to rehash this in-depth as I think these are the least useful signs because they are so well know, can be staged and obvious but I will mention a few. For example, exposing her wrists, leaning forward, moving her hips (hips are an important factor in female mating and reproduction), licking her lips, point her knees when siting in your direction, taking off or playing with her shoe, caressing a drink, making circular movements with her fingers, smiling and more eye contact.

Leave a comment and let me know if you have any other ways in which you gauge a females level of attractiveness to you, if you are considering dating her or are dating her. Of course this could work for men too, but let us be honest here, women are infinitely more mysterious and interesting.

The post is to help you get an US spousal visa (immigrant visa- IR1 or CR1 via form I-130) or K1 visa (fiance visa which is a non immigrant visa). I did it for my wife and so can you, actually only the IR1. I wrote this more to get you thinking in the right way about this and ask me specific questions in the comment area if you have a question about your case. What is the right way? It’s about money.

Getting an American immigration visa or green card is next to impossible if you are not a famous scientist or a successful athlete and you do not have millions in your bank account, either. If you are just an average guy, you have a tiny chance of getting it. Unless you get married, in which case you win the golden ticket.

I am not saying that you should get married to a U.S. citizen just to get a visa – this could have worked in 1960’s, but today it is hard if you think you can beat the system today. The USCIS will be watching you and if it is fake, the way they are checking now, in the department of homeland security it will not end good. Be sure they will find out and ship you back to where you came from. It is not worth it, because your legal entry to the States will be banned. And that is not good for anyone.

• Marriage visa – However, if you happen to be in love with an US citizen who you intend to marry, it is a different story. I got my wife a Visa for the USA and I can help you if you have any questions. The first thing is go to the US embassy website and download form I-130 and follow the instructions. You need hots, all primary documents like birth and marriage and medical history and job history. But really the visa is about something else, you guessed it, the green stuff, money.
• The only one real requirement to get someone a visa for the USA –  you have to worry about is you need 125% the poverty rate of US based income. That is you have to show US income for about six months to prove you can provide for your family. If you are in the military or teach English abroad do not assume this to be so easy. It has to be US based income.

Becoming a legal US resident is a process of filling out forms and a lot of people get turned down. The reason people do not meet the requirements is ‘money’. In my opinion this is not fair, it is not democracy. It is anti family. But those are the rules and arguing with embassy staff will not get you anywhere.  People have said, that government workers are rude and are on power trips. They take government jobs because they are looking for an alternative lifestyle and benefits, while not having to compete in the private sector.

• You can read about my respect for US government system and workers here: -> www.political-economy.com/us-foreign-service-jobs-embassy-workers/

I know what they really, they want to see a high level of income. Having a degree and a job is always a good thing and increases your chances as it makes you look serious and like you could support yourself and your family without access to public funds, but US based income is that they want.

The USA has all these names and abbreviations for the forms and requirements in this process which foreign service workers know, and it rolls off their tongues, but the process comes down to money. The whole application process is about one thousand dollars and you need to be making about 20,000 dollars a year for a year, in the USA before you can bring your family over. That is it. They of course have to believe you are in love and married for love not a visa, but that is secondary in my opinion.

The income needs to be US based. That means the spouse or the the applicant some how has to make US based dollars if you are abroad and this needs to be proven on US tax returns, not a stack of meaningless paper. US signed tax returns the last three years can prove you meet the financial requirements.

This above chart tells you clearly how much US based income you need to come to the good old US of A.

Uncle Sam is about money.  The mindless Matrix bureaucracy of Washington does not want to know, not if you are in love or married in the church and have a family you care about. They want to know can you pay your bills and are you going to become a burden to other tax paying members of society.

I understand their point, these are the laws as a society we have agreed on. Yet, I think when it comes to love and marriage this is sacred and should be based more on years of marriage than income. Come on, once you get to the USA anyone can get a job. I read too many couples are denied entry or need to be separated until income in the US is established.

I intentionally simplified the above chart. It applies to most people looking to immigrate to the USA.  It is for non-military personal and excludes Alaska and Hawaii. It is based on current guidelines.

How to get a K1 visa to at least get your fiance into the USA to get married

This is a fiance visa and you have to get married within six months of entering.

1. Your American spouse has to fill out the I-129 F form at the USCIS office in the district they belong to. This cannot be done at the embassy outside the country. Your kids under the age of 21 can get a visa as well if they are included in the petition.
2. Wait for the petition to get approved by the National Visa Center. This might take anywhere from 2 to 4 weeks for most cases and no longer than 90 days. It is then sent to your home country’s embassy or consulate. You can check on its status on USCIS website.
3. The embassy will send you a letter with further instructions and a list of documents that you need to provide, including the affidavit of support. Take an extra copy of any document or form that you use. Fill out the IV- F04 form and send it back to them. Soon after that they will set an appointment for your interview. Make sure you bring all the papers from the list to your interview. They also require you to bring any personal items that will prove your relationship with your fiancé, such as pictures, letters or plane tickets, if you traveled somewhere together. The more you collect, the better, but try to choose the most significant ones if you have a big pile of them.
4. You need a medical check up and some vaccinations, those cannot be done at the doctor’s office of your choice. You will get specific instructions in the letter. Bring the papers to your interview as well.
5. It costs $350 to apply for the visa, you can pay it on the day of your interview or earlier, whatever is more convenient for you. The currency can be US dollars or the local currency, depending on the policy of your embassy or consulate. Keep the receipt, as you will have to present it to the interviewer.

The interview

You will most likely be surprised by how smooth it goes. People think this is the most important thing, it means little, money is the most important thing. You just wait in a big room and in front of the window like the Post office they ask you some questions. Everyone I know that has been down that road said it is a lot less ‘scary’ than they thought it would be. The questions you will be more than likely asked include: how long you have known each other, can you speak English, what do you do for a living, etc. If you ever applied for any kind of visa you will be familiar with some of these.

Here are some of my other posts about visa’s and citizenship:

• Citizenship by marriage
• baby born in a foreign country
• Buying a Citizenship
• How to be a dual citizen
• EU citizenship
• Marry a Polish citizen
• Living in Europe
• Polish EU visa requirement
• How to get a Visa to the USA for your husband or wife

I will answer your immigration questions

If you have questions about the US spousal visa or K1 visa just ask, I got my wife one.

I will try to answer all questions to the best of my ability, although I am not an expert or giving legal advice, just general ideas. However, you need to use proper grammar, and spelling and capitalization and paragraphs need to flow logically. If your story is too unbelievable and it smells of scam,  like you are both married to other people, yet you want to immigrate together, I will delete the comment.

I like legal immigration, people who want to live their dreams, be with the love of their life and actualizes their God given talents with the ideals of enlighten self-interest in a free society.

Life is about getting the girl, not just any girl mind you, yours. Period.  If you do not have a partner in life, life is not as sweet.  Your job gets old fast and so do you. If you do catch your princess than life becomes like a mid summers night dream. How can I write like this? I am 48 and lived a lot of life. Maybe I am not an expert on everything, but with great confidence I can tell you that being single s.

The purpose of this post is to help you to find the love of your life. I will include a lot of nice pictures to keep you inspired as it is a long post.

The theory: I believe women are responsible for creating civilization. If it was not for females men would be content on being in the cave somewhere. If this theory is true than women go for men who are their way up, mentally and physically, Mens sana in corpore sano. Someone who will lift them to a higher level (get your mind out of the gutter).

The solution: Develop your natural value. I actually have a Masters in economics from Trinity and believe in the classical economic idea of natural value to some extent. That is, if you want to sell something that people demand, develop something of value. This translates into, become someone interesting and authentic. Here is how->

If you do not have your dream princess who see you as her hero, it comes down to only two reason:

1. looking in the wrong place
2. you need to develop your natural value

Although this post is written for men, the same applies to women with slight modifications.

Your princess living not next door so stop doing match.com searches for people within 25 miles of you

If point number one is so obvious, than why are you still like Bilbo Baggins hiding in your hobbit hole (apartment) and cruising local ladys who will never understand your depth or suffering nor the heights of your dreams? In short fear. Fear that finding a foreign lady friend who will scam you,  or that by leaving your job you will not have financial security or whatever. Well I have news for you, financial security is an illusion, and local girls will scam in another way. They will marry you take your house and half your income. How is that not a scam? So buy a cheap ticket to Eastern Europe and find a nice girl who will treat you right. If you need advice where and how just ask. I have lived here a good part of my life.

Invest in travel to find your pearl of great price. Invest in trips to other countries and travel even if it is hitch hiking and living in a sleeping bag. My first trip to Europe when I covered like fourteen countries was by hitchhiking and sleeping in parks and eating mostly bread and water. It was a great experience, even if I came back pretty skinny. If you are older stay in youth hostels not hotels please. Hotels are for dried up businessmen. When I was a top consultant and flew business class and stayed in top hotels four nights a week for years life was no sweeter  than when I was off the beaten path half-starved.

You will meet no girls by staying in a three or four star hotels. Except maybe the ones in the lobby who licking their lips like and looking at you like you are the answer to pay for their rent check, which is a few days over due, if you catch my drift.  In contrast, you will meet real nice girls in a zero star hotel who are travelling like you to experience life and see the world.

So get off your duff and start looking for cheap flights to Eastern Europe and simply Google youth hostels in the city of your destination. They have reviews online.

No Money to travel? Lame excuse. Polish traveller and author  Wojciech Cejrowski sold his refrigerator and furniture to buy airline tickets. Better to live on an air mattress when you return and have an experience, rather than live in your Hobbit hole with no nice leggy studentka to keep you warm at night.

No nonsense rules for finding the love of your life

Do not listen to your parents. They want your life to be safe and secure so they can sleep at night. No matter how much they love you, they do not have any clue about how you should live your life, and even less about dating in the modern world. When I was a suit (investment guy) in Boston my parents were pretty happy with me. They wanted me to marry their rich neighbor’s daughter who would come home from the mall with an armful of shopping bags and I think had a little bit of a drinking problem. But she came from a ‘good family’. If you listen to your parents you will live a boring life, marry an average girl and have a mid-life crisis. When I moved to Poland my parents flipped out. But of course I got the girl, started my own business and now live free. It is almost a test in life to break free of your parents conceptions about life, to see if you are ready for your spouse. Living your own life is the greatest way you can honor your parents.

You have to start asking the universe to help you. I do not care if you have never had faith in anything and  you snub those who believe. There is an infinite power in the universe. Maybe people have had faith since we first stepped out of the jungle as Homo sapiens is because we have seen miracles in their lives. These are things that can never be proven or evaluated as the experiences are subjective and the universe is not set up that way, but if you do not start asking you will not get. Try reading a book like Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain.

Read one book a month, preferably three. Have you ever talked to a girl and despite her cordialness, you knew there was nothing going on upstairs, and you slide away? Well if you are not getting girls then maybe these gals are thinking the same thing about you. Maybe you are boring? Really have you ever consider that? Reading will improve your ability to communicate with women. You will start using more sophisticated vocabulary naturally and be able to converse or a wider range of topics. If you are not reading scores of books a year maybe this is why girls are not flocking to your door. Girls are verbal. Books or at least words mean a lot to women, like visual or images mean to men. Reading does not mean surfing the Internet. Reading means books. Books are distilled wisdom from an author who took thousands of hours put it on paper.

I also do things like learn languages, play chess, listen to classical music. I also am learning to draw a bit. It does not matter try to unplug and do something uplifting and classical. I think many Americans are bored but claim ADD when they try to do something humanistic. Why? Because they have let their cognitive diligence atrophy. Well guess what, virtue is its own reward. Start building it back up again. Reading a few books is a good place to start.

Optimizes your looks. This is the least important thing in dating. Why? Because nature makes people attractive naturally. Unless they destroy their bodies with obesity, we all can be at least an 8 if we try. I do not care if you do yoga or are a gym rat, try. Also buy nice clothes and make yourself look stylish.

Stop worrying about money. ‘I would rather sit on a pumpkin all my own then a crowded cushion of velvet’ (Thoreau). Chicks do not care about money, at least the ones you want. Money and career is the biggest cop up around. Love and money do not mix. I would rather live in a shack than up to some boss who is will reward me with a 2.5% raise at the end of the year because he does not want to go over budget. I know, I was a boss many times. It stinks to be on either side. Better is to find something you really love to do and do that. If it brings money that is good, if not that is OK too at least you did not sell your life out. Contrary to popular conception, girls despise guys who use money to impress. Girls love the poor guy who is authentic, who owns their own life.

Why spend an inordinate amount of time building a false wall of security around your that God can take down anytime he wants. Better is to build your life on the foundation, that money comes and goes but the universe is powered by something more pure. That is love. Put love first not money. I have never understood people who sacrificed relationships for their career.

Still no girls or love? – You are too opinionated. Take a chill pill.  This last point is a show stopper. In guys it is unusually manifest in judgement and preconceived notions about a girl’s purity. In girls it is manifest in the idea that a ‘strong woman’ is not humble and compassionate and does not take care of a man.  Both ideas block you ability to find a date.

Remember we are like in trees and need to be flexible. That means we need to honor the roots of our tradition, or else will be like tumble weeds blowing in the wind. However, we all need to be  flexible so when storms blow you can sway.

If you have only roots you are like a potato. Do not be a potator.

I have found rigidity to be as big of a turn off for girls as bad breath. As is materialistic modern thinking for in girls for men. Why? No one wants to be judged for their mistakes in life. Leave the judging up to God. The more you can accept in women the more you can see their humanity and they are just like you, trying the best they can on this earth.

Conversely for girls no guy wants  girl who will try to rule over him, nag him or tell him how wrong his ideals are. This type of opinionated thinking in both genders blocks your ability to find a mate.

The above points are solid advice for finding the love of your life. The rest is up to you. If you develop your mind, body and soul and travel the world every chance you get, you will find your one only true love.

Finding your princess is a rescue mission. Do not ever think it is anything else. Every girl no matter how smart, strong and confident she is, is living in a dark dungeon with no exit. She has somehow lost her way in life. If you are her prince, it is your task to find her. You have to slay her dragons. You have to drag her out, even if she is kicking and screaming and calling for the guards. If the guards come, take no prisoners.

I promise you that if you believe your princess is out there she is. If you do not find her, you condemn her to live in this banishment and exile without you.

The girl above was sitting all alone under a medieval tower if you can believe it. I took thephotoin Kraków, Poland where I live. Note the shackle on her side.

Me, I met my princess in an underground stone cavern beneath the ancient market square.

One more thing, if a girl does not need to be rescued and saved do not bother with her. Most likely her societal programming has made her more trouble than she is worth.

Instead of reading countless weak dating tips and ideas on how to meet girls focus on the whole, that is this powerful myth that is in each of our subconscious.

Steps to find your fairy-tale princess

• If you want to find a fairy-tale princess you have to believe. That is it. That is all that is required of you. People will tell you that you are naive or a  Don Quixote jousting wind mills. But I am here to tell you, it is true. I have seen countless guys who almost have given up on love, romance and dating, find the princess of their dreams and live happily ever after. Love conquers all.
• Visualize or at least dream of her – The seat of the divine resides in your imagination. This is why you have to be careful you use you use this for good. Dream and imagine in your mind your princess. Call for her in your mind, seeking her out and finding her and rescuing her. If you already are dating her, try to establish a connection to her. I think the best time to do this is as your drift off to sleep. You will see real results with this technique.
• You have less than 1% chance that the girl next door is your princess, you have to travel the world – Guys who thought they were confirmed bachelors are married in six month after going to Eastern Europe for example. American and UK women are not all bad, but the society which they were raised in programmed many to live contrary to their nature and they will make you pay for it. Better is to meet a Polish, Ukrainian or Russian girl who dreams of meeting their princess who they will cherish and love.
• Be prince charming – Charm is getting what you without having to ask. Know how to charm a girl. It is different from picking up girls. To do this you need to:

1. Optimize your looks – Everyone can be at least an 8 if they try. If you do not know how, start with throwing out most of your clothes and buy some good jeans and tight black hiking shirts or nice t-shirts.  I only get hair cuts from barbers that user scissors, no buzzers, spike up your hair a bit and use little or no cologne. Understand no one is ugly, girl or guy, just non stylish people. You are better than any so-called lame alpha male that hits on girls in clubs. The girls they are getting are not the ones you want to attract.
2. Work out and develop a good body, there is no excuse.
3. Charm the pants off them (figuratively). If you do not know how to make a girl laugh watch The Office and other shows and the humor will eventually sink in. Jim in The Office is actually witty, girls like this or Micheal who is crazy but still funny, try to learn from them. Do not be Dwight, learn from his mistakes.
4. Good eye contact and smile. For girls this is very important. I mean look at the girl in the above picture her eyes and smile is have her beauty, but do not lean into girls, let them come to you.
5. Talk about idealistic romantic things like myths, fairy-tales. Do you remember in Last of the Mohegans when Daniel Day-Lewis how he wooed Madeleine Stowe with a fantastic tale from Native American legends? Women love stories and ideals and dreams. Do not ever cheapen your relationship, always take the high ground. Buy a book of fairy-tales like Grimm’s and read it to them on a park bench. Do this and you will melt her heart. Do not do dinner dates or anything like that unless you really have quick wit, dinner or coffee to a girl is too safe and she sits back and is looking for reasons not to date you during this time. Better is take her to a park and read to her. This might not fly with a materialistic programmed American or UK bot but it works like a magic spell in most other places in the world like Eastern Europe or Latin America.

Types of Princesses to date

• Ice Princess – Could have mental problems or really needs to be rescued, I have seen both. Melt her frozen heart is the goal here, by showing her unconditional love.
• Problem or depressed princesses – Unless they are a scammer, really nice girls, just need a man to help them in life-like we all need someone. Just be aware most of their life will be like this, mildly depressed unless they are able to do the whole Zen thing and transform.
• Prima Donna royal blood and good family – better to find Cinderella from a village as nobility comes from character not from bloodline.
• The monarch materialistic, career woman mogul or troubled empress and the likes – Drop them like a bad habit, they will just spin their webs and chew you up and spit you out.
• Gothic theatrical fair maiden – Good in my book, lots of nobility beneath these dark clothes, they just need to awaken.
• Innocent princess – You will only find these in Eastern Europe (I recommend, Krakow, Lublin, Lviv, Ternopil) and traditional societies. Muslim culture also has a lot of these as well as Indian. Some guys dream of only these girls, my advice is see the humanity in everyone. Read books like: The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden: Understanding the Wounded Feeling Function in Masculine and Feminine Psychology or She: Understanding Feminine Psychology or We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love by Robert Johnson. He is a Jungian who puts things in perspective. That is, you do not need to have the perfect girl for her to be an innocent princess. Perfect when out the window with the garden of Eden.

The human brain is complex, we are somewhere between animals and angels. Understand the power of the collective unconscious in dating and love and this is better than any pop culture ‘how to’ or critique on attraction.

What to do if you do not have a wife and you can not even get a date or girlfriend

Warning this is not a feel good post on dating and love and how to find a wife. It is to shoot a warning scordial across the bow. I want to be perfectly clear, evolution took 1 million years to create you as you are. If you do not have a date or wife there is something wrong with your attitude. You are the product of evolution. You are programmed for mating and attracting a mate and wife. This is the most important thing in life. If you have not done this, there is nothing wrong with your looks or your brains or your ability to attract someone, it is your attitude.

Are you running a racket in your dating life?

Go for what you want in life. Live your life so you have no regrets. If you are not dating the girl of your dreams, most likely you are running a racket.

Do you know what a racket is? It was started term popularized during prohibition when little old ladies would be smiling to their customers at their store front, but in the back creating some brew in their bathtub. Everything looks innocent on the outside but it is not. This is your life. You smile and are friendly and a nice guy to chat with but on the inside you have something else going on. Something is messed up in your head.

Something in society has distorted your instinct to reproduce. Examine what is holding you back. Is it your religion or lack of it? Is it your family? Do not give me the line I am focusing on your career or want to be all set with money. That is an excuse. Consider that only poor not the wealthy are the ones that have kids these days. Think back how hard life was when your forefathers came to this country. It you are not married, it is your problem. Why?

Arguments for marriage and against living alone

• God wants you to be married. Any sacred text talks about this. You leave your parents and cling to your spouse. The story of finding your other half goes as far back as Adam and Eve or ying and yang. Paring off is in the story of Noah. God gives you beauty and intelligence as a gift. See a lot of people do not understand this. Anything you have is on loan to you from the giver of all gifts. It is not to use for your own self pleasure. Our Father above will ask each of his children what they did with the gifts lent to them in this world. Some people pursue a life of career, some people are ascetics while others are hedonism, but in my mind it is all the same, it is self-absorbed ego. If you do not believe me read Hermann Hesse ‘Goldmund and Narcissus’. Monastics are as self-absorbed as lustful worldly people.  ‘If I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing’ , think about where this quote came from. Life is about love.
• Life does not feel right until you find your other half . We all feel like we are ‘like gypsies living at the edge on an alien world, a world that is as deaf to our music as it is to our sorrows’ – Albert Camus. You do not feel good until you are married. That is a fact. Marriage feels great, being single boarders on neurotic.  At least this is how I am all my friends were.
• 99% of people marry sometime in their life, it is normal and healthy. If you are the minority that does not ask yourself why you are not normal, and start looking at your life to correct it.

I know these sound like hard arguments but I want to wake you up. You can find your fairy-tale princess but as a man it is your role to be her championship and find her. She can not find you. She is like sleeping beauty and only you can awaken her. Like I said you are biologically programmed to attract your life partner. There is nothing wrong with you. There are two reason you have not:

• Gutless. You lack courage. There are billions of single women on this planet, if you can find one, you have not looked hard enough. You are denying some girl the happiness of being with you. And this is what life is about, giving and receiving love. ‘To love and be loved is like feeling the warm of the sun from both sides’ – Helen Keller. So do not be a coward and unturned every rock and look for your princess.
• Ego. Ego defense mechanisms are great, They protect us. Some of us rationalizes I am working on my career and I do not need anyone, they will bother me. Others will not lower themselves (like movie stars) to live a normal life and you see many confirmed bachelors who deny their birth right to have children. Others are rigid in their conception of what their other half should be. They are so strict in their rules and unwilling to bend. This is ego which is nurtured in fear. Read about C.S. Lewis and his love life. How his Ivory tower stained glass ideas about love and the world where shattered when he actually fell in love. In most cases you have not found your wife because  you are not strong enough to overcome your ego and be flexible and easy-going. You are too rigid in your ideas .

To attract a mate (attract a wife) you need to humble yourself and be flexible. You need confidence and courage. If you can not you are not living according to natural law or God’s will. Period.

Advice on getting a girl

One last note, forget about the mission of  finding a wife, think more in terms of love and romantically wooing a girl that you love or could love.  Many guys want a wife, but that is putting the cart before the horse.

Get to the point that when she looks at you the first words that pops into her head are ‘red bed’. If you see yourself as testing the waters with online dating or considering girls here or there, you are missing my point. One million years of evolution has made you to be a knight in shinning armor where women can not resist you. Be it.

What makes a girl beautiful

There are a lot of myths that are being circulated out there about what is beautiful and what is attractive on a girl. They are perpetuated with psychological studies by ivory tower professors who would not know a beautiful girl if they saw one. Then they are circulated though the largest receptacle for recycled information in the world, the Internet. Lastly, girls read these article of allure and attraction and get the wrong ideas about what beauty is. Women are the worst critics of themselves when it comes to physical attraction. The purpose of this post is to set the record straight about what is attractive on a girl, from a man’s perspective.

Beauty is destiny – I have gotten a lot of girls writing about my post on what is attractive on a girl. People think I give the ugly truth in an uncompassionate way. I find this odd. Why? My underlying premise is beauty is not something you are born with, but something you create. The way you attract the opposite friendship for dating and mating is by creating beauty. Only elitist believe beauty is born.

I give you useful information, what you choose to do with it is up to you.

What beauty is not

Myths of beauty started where all myths are started, with the ancients. People talk about proportion and will show you statues of ancient Greek goddesses. However, I think if one of these statues came to life it would not hold a candle to an average Russian girl. An average Russian girl turns heads not matter what proportions she is born with. Why she knows what works when it comes to attracting men. If you want to be cordial you can be, no matter what you are born with.

Now, the reason the experts are wrong is they do not assign weights to their observed characteristics of physical attraction. It would be as impossible as creating a predictive model of the economy. Too many exogenous and endogenous variables.

Let me put it to you another way, your brain as more potential connections than stars in the universe. That is a fact. To find a match for you, your other half is a personal thing and nothing to do with some academic thesis paper on beauty.

Lets look at some of their imperfections.

Facial Symmetry – wrong. Not even close to being important. The romantics believed there is a strange beauty in disproportionality. You can reference all kinds of academic study that say symmetry. You can argue it is important for dating because people see these as a signal for good genes. I disagree. Many symmetrical looking parents have challenged children. Nature works in mysterious ways. More important physical signals for dating do not add up. The experts never tell you the weights of each of these factors. I would give facial beauty less than 1%.

• However, here is a research study if you want to ready more on this aspect of what is beautiful.

Height – Studies claim being short for a woman is an advantage as there is a ratio of men’s height to woman’s height that is optimal. The idea is short women have more potential partners. This is bunk. Me I like tall women ( I like short women too. I guess I just like women and this is the attitude of most men). I do not care if a woman is taller than me. Not would I care if she is short. It is not a big weight in the equation of beauty, pun intended.

Hip to waist ratio – One name. Evangeline Lilly. The girl has a body like a boy, no hips, however, by any measure she sets a standard for beauty. Few guess would say she is not cordial. It is more about being thin than the expansiveness of your birthing hips you are born with.

Color of hair – wrong. Be natural do not color, dye, perm or fry. Mousey brown is cordial if that is your natural color.

Color of skin – wrong. In southern cultures they like light, when I went to Latin America heads turned with my blond hair, blue eyes and fair skin. In northern culture people like dark (tanning, Italian look). It also depends on the time and person. Be yourself no matter what color you are.

What beauty is

Physical beauty is what gets neurons in the opposite friendship to fire and trigger a reaction that will get you the attention you deserve. And believe me you deserve attention, as I have never seen a woman who was not beautiful. You could have had an accident or born with serious physical challenges but to me, I would think you are beautiful. I mean this sincerely. So these ideas are just ways the average girl can improve her look.

In life there are things you can change, things you can not change and things that really matter. Luckily for us the first and the last are the same when it comes to beauty.

The things that really matter are the things you can change.

I would nominate hair and body as the most important factors in physical attraction. I would say this is over 90%. Look at Jennifer Aniston. At one time she was the cordialtest girl in America, and she is nothing special except beautiful hair and body.

Look at any top model, basically no chest, thin and long hair and a funny looking face. Some really look strange with big ears or noses etc. But they all have a body and long hair. Every female face is beautiful, if the hair and body is in place. Then in the most natural way you can enhance your look with maybe natural lipstick and a smile.

Hair and attraction – Contrary to popular belief hair is your largest secondary friendship characteristic. That is a fact. All you have to do is grow it long, even to the small of your back. Why do girls want to artificially inflate their chest? They could simply grow their hair long and guys will flock to you more than any silicon beauty.

Also with your hair keep it natural as possible. The beauty industry is a big market, and added to this women give horrible advice to their girlfriends about hair. Hence all the mixed messages and wrong ideas, maybe it is subconscious and they want to knock out the competition. Read my lips, long hair is cordial, a bob is not. Sorry but it is true.

How do you take care of your crowing glory? I am using a little of my daughter’s baby shampoo for shampoo and conditioner in one. For me this leaves my hair softer and nicer than any high-priced conditioner. Or use a natural conditioner, something you make yourself or get at whole foods type stores.

Eat right, take vitamins and if you really have to, try nail buffing a reflexology technique to increase hair luster or have a pack of gelatine a day.

But remember the bottom line is your hair is the most important characteristic to attract guys, not some body part.

Think of a guy with a really good hair cut, he gets noticed. Or an animal with a shiny coat, no question it attracts at a primitive level. It is even more true for women. Long hair is a sign of submissiveness or at least femininity. Now you might not be into that personality wise (guys are), but it works for animal attraction. Then you can let the guy figure out for himself about what your personality is about. However, at least you attracted a date.

Shape and physical attraction – Thin is in, or at least toned is good. Being a corpulent girl is a powerful message that you do not want to compete or be healthy. If you do not understand about proper nutrition, than chances are your off spring are going to be a chip off the old block and not care too. For mating, dating and passing your genes, longevity, the ability to have energy and get things done, being unhealthy and overweight all translates into you not being the best selection when it comes to romantic love and reproduction.

Newsflash: there is something you can do about your shape. Body shape might be in the genes but whether you actualize this and how you live is your choice. You can do something about your health. You are not a victim.

How do you start if you want to be a skinny girl? Start by educating yourself on what is proper nutrition. Many people over-estimate their caloric needs. I am very active and basically have one good meal and a few healthy snacks.

I have not had a car for over ten years. I might have to walk two hours a day for shopping but so what, I save money on the gym. I eat salads and soups and never go hungry. It is a small price to pay for feeling great. You can use your imagination and what fits into your lifestyle but where there is a will there is a way.

The biggest problem is people replace self actualization like learning a language, travel or learning a musical instrument with eating. It is easier, address this issue, become a Renaissance person it will be good for your dating life.

If your job is making you corpulent because of stress or whatever, quit your job. I mean it. You will be happier and have less money to spend on food. What good is money if you have no love or health?

What style will attract men – I have written a lot about beauty and style so there is not need to rehash this too much, you can explore my website. However, basically simple is better. Women that spend an inordinate about of money on clothes are perhaps trying to compensate for unhappiness in their love life and are sending a message to a dating partner that you are high maintenance or they will have to compete with you. Love is never about competition.

Clothes do make the woman to some extent. Do you remember Bridget Jones Diaries? She did not get her boss to notice her until she wore a see through top. With the right style you can compensate for any physical flaw in your looks, but grow your hair and get in shape.

Remember there is a complex stratification of reality. As humans there is more to us than animal attraction. There is physical attractiveness, spiritual and intellectual attractiveness. They are interrelated. Develop all three. Humans are multidimensional and it is so unhigh to see a girl who has no idea about transcendence. A Jersey girl would do nothing for me. Why?

How to be beautiful

We are but strands of energy between heaven and earth and why you exude has more to do with who you are than your chest size or facial symmetry. If you do not believe me you will be lonely.

If you are dating someone who is not a person of faith, and you are, this is a big problem. Not for them mind you, but for you. The purpose of this post is to give you some ideas about what to do with this relationship dilemma.

What your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks about the issue of faith in your dating relationship

I will be blunt. They do not care. What? It is true. It is not an issue for them, only you. Further they do not understand why it is important to you and why you even need to bring it up. It is only a relationship problem only for the person that has faith.

They might have some abstract intellectual understanding of the issue and respect you. But let’s be honest here, they really can not understand how important it is. Not because they do not love you, their love is real, but their awareness is limited. It is like trying to show a dog a rainbow (dogs are colorblind). It does just does not register in their brain.

Why is it important in your relationship? Faith is a radical reorientation of your life. It is fundamental trust in the life process. If you have it, you can say to the mountain ‘move’, and it will move. If you do not, you do not understand what the fuss is and you think those who believe are naive. Therefore, it creates a measureless chasm between two partners in a relationship and only one of the partners is painfully aware of this. It is a difficult gap to be bridged.

It is what life is about. To take care of your soul and find your soul mate. What good is it if a person gains the world and loses their soul in the process. It does not matter is your are smart or rich or poor and uneducated. We are here on this earth to help each other find meaning in life.

Husband and wives that do not share a faith centered relationship are statistically more likely:

• to divorce
• have financial problems and be more materialistic
• take on girlfriends outside the context of marriage
• suffer depression
• show less marital happiness

I believe in science and the above are the facts.

I am think there are many ethical none believers. However, statistics tell another story. This is why read my lips, try to be at open to the possibility of a spiritual partnership when searching for true love. If you do not have this now, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Solutions for dating a cynic

If someone can not see there is complex stratification of reality, I would drop them like a bad habit. That is just me, unless you are married of course.

If you are married, understand this, everyone has the light of God in them even if they do not see in themselves. Below I have some recommended reading they might consider. But you do not have to push the issue, but rather gently guide them.

If you are just dating, I personally would cut my loses. I would personally leave. Two people of different natures if they stay together will often become very good friends, but birds of a feature flock together. There is no substitute for two solitudes in life that come together with this same vision. If you both have trust in the universe you can share your spiritual journey together, in good times and in bad.

If you do not share this commonality I would recommend getting a new partner to date. I know this sounds radical but if it does not affect you now it will in the future. Romantic love brings people together that never were meant to be together. Every day together is like stitching together patterns which do not match, and it will be subsequently harder to tear apart.

Try online dating and screen for belief, or go to countries like Italy, Romania, Poland, Greece, Western Ukraine, India, Turkey any Middle Eastern or Latin American county as well as Africa. Basically the whole world except Western Europe and pockets of the USA. Further, I personally would not have a problem with Muslim dating or Jewish dating, if I was single, as these are only differences in expression of the same ultimate reality. Peace and love to all.

I think it is easier dating someone who does not speak your language than someone who speaks your language and is from the same culture but has a different world view. This is based on my personal experience. So do not be afraid to travel the world to look for your soul mate.

How to help your partner

‘They have eyes but do not see’

If you believe but your life partner does not, it will be a hard road for you eventually. It will weaken your faith. What you can do is this. Help the person from a logical standpoint or help them from an experience standpoint.

1. Logical arguments are very difficult to convey to people and are better handled through books. I can recommend a few books that if non believers are open they might try to understand how their dating partner sees the world.
2. The second level is experiencing God. The solution here is you can suffer for a half hour a day or everyday for the rest of your life. This means if you have to develop a spiritual practice to experience more in life. Ask the one up there to help you and you will get help. Just ask with an open heart. Alternatively, you can get them into yoga as it will start to open their heart.

My personal recommendations for you relationship if your marriage or life partner is a skeptic

• Does God Exist – An answer for today by Hans Kung – Are you a skeptic or need a little help? I challenge you to this gauntlet from a clear thinker. A more more personal and lighter version of this is: What I believe by the same author. Also the Beginning of all things for the more scientific oriented .
• The Night is large by Martin Gardner, This man has spent his life disproving supernatural phenomena, a corrosive skeptic, yet surprisingly with faith as a mysterion.
• How to think about God – Mortimer J. Adler expresses complex ideas in a simple way with classics as the base. Not as radical as Kung but good reading for platonic ideas.
• Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. This is more for fun, not directly related to faith but more spiritual, it also has practical applications for love, relationship and finding love (more for girls).
• Heal your body by Louise Hay. Classic book on seeing the world in a different way. More a personal story and of course love is the center (more for girls).
• Brother Cadfael stories by Ellis Peters. Wisdom from a Monk and sleuth. Anything by Ellis Peter the TV series or the book. These are fun murder mysteries nothing heavy but worth reading as they are about a monk and based on a historical abbey.
• Relaxation revolution By Herbert Benson. If you need to relax – by a Harvard doctor shows you how, but with a subtle message of watch out what might happen.

If you want true love find someone who see the world the way you do, it makes all the difference in the world. Do not settle for anything less, than your soul mate.