How to find the love of your life

Life is about getting the girl, not just any girl mind you, yours. Period.  If you do not have a partner in life, life is not as sweet.  Your job gets old fast and so do you. If you do catch your princess than life becomes like a mid summers night dream. How can I write like this? I am 48 and lived a lot of life. Maybe I am not an expert on everything, but with great confidence I can tell you that being single s.

The purpose of this post is to help you to find the love of your life. I will include a lot of nice pictures to keep you inspired as it is a long post.

The theory: I believe women are responsible for creating civilization. If it was not for females men would be content on being in the cave somewhere. If this theory is true than women go for men who are their way up, mentally and physically, Mens sana in corpore sano. Someone who will lift them to a higher level (get your mind out of the gutter).

The solution: Develop your natural value. I actually have a Masters in economics from Trinity and believe in the classical economic idea of natural value to some extent. That is, if you want to sell something that people demand, develop something of value. This translates into, become someone interesting and authentic. Here is how->

If you do not have your dream princess who see you as her hero, it comes down to only two reason:

  1. looking in the wrong place
  2. you need to develop your natural value

Although this post is written for men, the same applies to women with slight modifications.

Your princess living not next door so stop doing searches for people within 25 miles of you

If point number one is so obvious, than why are you still like Bilbo Baggins hiding in your hobbit hole (apartment) and cruising local ladys who will never understand your depth or suffering nor the heights of your dreams? In short fear. Fear that finding a foreign lady friend who will scam you,  or that by leaving your job you will not have financial security or whatever. Well I have news for you, financial security is an illusion, and local girls will scam in another way. They will marry you take your house and half your income. How is that not a scam? So buy a cheap ticket to Eastern Europe and find a nice girl who will treat you right. If you need advice where and how just ask. I have lived here a good part of my life.

Invest in travel to find your pearl of great price. Invest in trips to other countries and travel even if it is hitch hiking and living in a sleeping bag. My first trip to Europe when I covered like fourteen countries was by hitchhiking and sleeping in parks and eating mostly bread and water. It was a great experience, even if I came back pretty skinny. If you are older stay in youth hostels not hotels please. Hotels are for dried up businessmen. When I was a top consultant and flew business class and stayed in top hotels four nights a week for years life was no sweeter  than when I was off the beaten path half-starved.

You will meet no girls by staying in a three or four star hotels. Except maybe the ones in the lobby who licking their lips like and looking at you like you are the answer to pay for their rent check, which is a few days over due, if you catch my drift.  In contrast, you will meet real nice girls in a zero star hotel who are travelling like you to experience life and see the world.

So get off your duff and start looking for cheap flights to Eastern Europe and simply Google youth hostels in the city of your destination. They have reviews online.

No Money to travel? Lame excuse. Polish traveller and author  Wojciech Cejrowski sold his refrigerator and furniture to buy airline tickets. Better to live on an air mattress when you return and have an experience, rather than live in your Hobbit hole with no nice leggy studentka to keep you warm at night.

No nonsense rules for finding the love of your life

Do not listen to your parents. They want your life to be safe and secure so they can sleep at night. No matter how much they love you, they do not have any clue about how you should live your life, and even less about dating in the modern world. When I was a suit (investment guy) in Boston my parents were pretty happy with me. They wanted me to marry their rich neighbor’s daughter who would come home from the mall with an armful of shopping bags and I think had a little bit of a drinking problem. But she came from a ‘good family’. If you listen to your parents you will live a boring life, marry an average girl and have a mid-life crisis. When I moved to Poland my parents flipped out. But of course I got the girl, started my own business and now live free. It is almost a test in life to break free of your parents conceptions about life, to see if you are ready for your spouse. Living your own life is the greatest way you can honor your parents.

You have to start asking the universe to help you. I do not care if you have never had faith in anything and  you snub those who believe. There is an infinite power in the universe. Maybe people have had faith since we first stepped out of the jungle as Homo sapiens is because we have seen miracles in their lives. These are things that can never be proven or evaluated as the experiences are subjective and the universe is not set up that way, but if you do not start asking you will not get. Try reading a book like Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain.

Read one book a month, preferably three. Have you ever talked to a girl and despite her cordialness, you knew there was nothing going on upstairs, and you slide away? Well if you are not getting girls then maybe these gals are thinking the same thing about you. Maybe you are boring? Really have you ever consider that? Reading will improve your ability to communicate with women. You will start using more sophisticated vocabulary naturally and be able to converse or a wider range of topics. If you are not reading scores of books a year maybe this is why girls are not flocking to your door. Girls are verbal. Books or at least words mean a lot to women, like visual or images mean to men. Reading does not mean surfing the Internet. Reading means books. Books are distilled wisdom from an author who took thousands of hours put it on paper.

I also do things like learn languages, play chess, listen to classical music. I also am learning to draw a bit. It does not matter try to unplug and do something uplifting and classical. I think many Americans are bored but claim ADD when they try to do something humanistic. Why? Because they have let their cognitive diligence atrophy. Well guess what, virtue is its own reward. Start building it back up again. Reading a few books is a good place to start.

Optimizes your looks. This is the least important thing in dating. Why? Because nature makes people attractive naturally. Unless they destroy their bodies with obesity, we all can be at least an 8 if we try. I do not care if you do yoga or are a gym rat, try. Also buy nice clothes and make yourself look stylish.

Stop worrying about money. ‘I would rather sit on a pumpkin all my own then a crowded cushion of velvet’ (Thoreau). Chicks do not care about money, at least the ones you want. Money and career is the biggest cop up around. Love and money do not mix. I would rather live in a shack than up to some boss who is will reward me with a 2.5% raise at the end of the year because he does not want to go over budget. I know, I was a boss many times. It stinks to be on either side. Better is to find something you really love to do and do that. If it brings money that is good, if not that is OK too at least you did not sell your life out. Contrary to popular conception, girls despise guys who use money to impress. Girls love the poor guy who is authentic, who owns their own life.

Why spend an inordinate amount of time building a false wall of security around your that God can take down anytime he wants. Better is to build your life on the foundation, that money comes and goes but the universe is powered by something more pure. That is love. Put love first not money. I have never understood people who sacrificed relationships for their career.

Still no girls or love? – You are too opinionated. Take a chill pill.  This last point is a show stopper. In guys it is unusually manifest in judgement and preconceived notions about a girl’s purity. In girls it is manifest in the idea that a ‘strong woman’ is not humble and compassionate and does not take care of a man.  Both ideas block you ability to find a date.

Remember we are like in trees and need to be flexible. That means we need to honor the roots of our tradition, or else will be like tumble weeds blowing in the wind. However, we all need to be  flexible so when storms blow you can sway.

If you have only roots you are like a potato. Do not be a potator.

I have found rigidity to be as big of a turn off for girls as bad breath. As is materialistic modern thinking for in girls for men. Why? No one wants to be judged for their mistakes in life. Leave the judging up to God. The more you can accept in women the more you can see their humanity and they are just like you, trying the best they can on this earth.

Conversely for girls no guy wants  girl who will try to rule over him, nag him or tell him how wrong his ideals are. This type of opinionated thinking in both genders blocks your ability to find a mate.

The above points are solid advice for finding the love of your life. The rest is up to you. If you develop your mind, body and soul and travel the world every chance you get, you will find your one only true love.

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

4 thoughts on “How to find the love of your life”

  1. Hi Mark,

    I have finally cleared the way to come to East Europe. I will be going in mid-August for two months. My question is, what do you think is the cheapest way to fly there from the U.S. and to get around when I arrive?

    I live in North Carolina and could easily take a bus to DC or NYC and fly out of there to any European city. I definitely want to go to Kiev and Crimea – maybe I will stay in the Ukraine the entire time but I would also really like to see Istanbul, Budapest & Split (Croatia) and perhaps a wild nature area like Montenegro.

    One more question – I have never heard you comment on Greek women – any thoughts on that?


    1. That is a lot of travel. I would get a flight to Kiev or Warsaw. From there use local trains to get around Europe or discount local airlines. You can find cheap flights from Kiev and Warsaw with discounters no problem. I prefer train as you will meet girls on the way. You can get all kinds of connections. I know there is a NC to London to Warsaw flight for example.
      I can recommend for good fares going to and from Eastern Europe.
      Ukrainian local trains are filled with girls. Take them. I guess I would fly to Kiev. Kiev the girls will find you if you look good and can chat them up without inhibitions.And after a while take a trip to Crimea (not Odessa). Take a train to Feodosiya or directly to Simferopol and go along the East coast. Many small towns that are beautiful. The West coast has less people. From Crimea to Krakow via Ternopil by train. In Krakow stay in a youth hostel and hang out in Kazimierz Krakow. Then from Krakow to maybe Croatia or Montenegro, I think the latter is better as it is more wild and less filled with Western European tourists. That is just me. Greek girls are fine, nice girls, but I think Slavic girls are the best. But that is just me and I am partial.

      I would find it hard to believe that you would not find the love of your life, or at least on the right path, with a trip like this. I would learn some Polish or Ukrainian or Russian, I think you know some and use creative visualization or ask God to guide and protect you.
      Please let me know if you have any questions.

  2. Thanks! Too much travel eh? maybe – that is just my adventurous spirit talking. I just traveled to 5 countries in asia over the past 2 months so I have a ‘can do’ attitude in this regard.

    I may have little reason to leave the Ukraine – but I am still interested in many of the surrounding countries as well. I have been researching these regions for the past 4-6 years so obviously I would like to visit them – ancient history is of interest to me as well as the pristine nature areas. Croatia looks absolutely beautiful (and warm) for instance.

    A part of me fantasizes about meeting ‘the one’ and finding a warm, pleasant part of east europe to settle down in. this would also be a great way to explore all these regions at a leisurely pace.

    Why not Odessa?

    And, if I meet someone I want to marry – how hard is it for an American to get married over there – I guess it depends on the country?

    1. If you like to travel, Oh please do not let me stop you. If you are more of a veteran traveler than by all means, you know what you are doing and up against. And certainly Europe is easier than Asia. Out of school I hitch hiked around Europe and covered a score of countries in little time, including sleeping in parks. I did not realize you were a traveler.

      Odessa is fine and I know a couple of nice girls from the region, but it is more Russian than Ukrainian. If you are looking to meet a sweet girl, I think Crimea and Western Ukraine or Poland is the sweet spot. There are nice girls with good values. Remember communism has more of an influence the further East you go, however, feminism the further west you go. So somewhere in the center, like Western Ukraine and Poland have the nicest girls for love and marriage.

      It is all a matter of where you want to spend your money and time? In that case I would not rule out Greece at all. I just think it is not the same as Eastern Europe when it comes to girls. Just a subjective opinion. In Eastern Europe you have many girls with dark exotic features, especially in Ukraine and Romania more into meeting foreigners.

      What about marriage? Marriage is turn-key in any country. The rules are the same. You need an original birth certificate, which you can get sent from the States if need be and ordered from your state. You need a letter from the US embassy that you are free and clear to marry or that they have no evidence that you are not and you need a visa status.

      It could be you are a tourist or a temporary one, but you need a status. You do not need a visa but you at least need to be legal in the country.

      And you have to get approved by a court. It is all as easy as the US, OK maybe a few more hoops you have to jump through but do not let that stop you.

      When we were waiting for the court, and it as coming down to the wire with our church wedding date, we almost went to Vegas to get married then return for the church wedding. The rule is the civil authorities in the USA or your foreign country must approve things before you get a church wedding. But it is all easy, cross that bridge when you come to it.
      Ask any questions about travel, you want. Any questions about visas in the USA or Europe let me know, I have a dual citzen and know both sides of the Atlantic.

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