How to tell if a girl likes you

Dating and love is a little like a mystery novel unfolding. If it was not it would not be as fun. However, a lot of mental anxiety during the dating process comes from the fact that A likes B but B does not like A because B likes C.  Have you ever had this situation? Can you imagine, if you could just read your potential dates mind, it would make it a lot easier. For example, you could be dating a girl and talking to her roommate and discern if this is really the girl who wants to date based on how much she primordially you. This post is about my favorite pet way to tell if a girl likes you.

Why signs of attraction are important

You need to be able to read the signs of  potential dates, and react to them in a way that best suits your dating strategy. Information is power after all.  If someone is disinterested you might want to cut your losses and move on. If you could only read a girl’s mind and know what she is thinking. Well here are a couple of ways to determine if a girl like you. There is nothing better than asking and also trying and not giving up on a girl, as I believe you can change women’s minds. However, the direct approach is often not the best because it gets all weird and akward if the answer is unclear.

However, if you want to know if a girl likes you and want some objective feedback on how you are doing with the whole winning her heart process here is one way to tell. If we could just understand what a woman thinks.

Pupil dilation as a sign if a girl is attracted to you

If you want to know how to determine if a girl likes you it is pretty easy. Look at her pupil dilation. It is a basic tenet of human psychophysiology that when someone’s pupils dilated they are excited they like you. Similarly if they contract it is a sign of disinterest.

People have individual norms for how much their pupils will dilate to stimulus so you have to base it on their baseline dilation and their reaction to you. Try to judge their reaction based on their norm and when they see you.

This works even on babies. A baby’s eyes will dilate more with some external stimulus that they like, and believe it or not attractive people.

Women’s eyes will dilate more at looking at a baby than a good-looking man.

These are primitive reactions connected to the limbic area of the brain and really can not be controlled. So make eye contact with a girl and try to observe her reactions to things and conversation. Now I am not a techniquey guy and do not advocate doing this as a modus operandi for dating, however, it is a fun thing to consider.

This is not body language mind you. Body language can be manipulated or stage. However, this is deep in the unconscious working of your brain. It would take a real yogi from India to be able to control autonomic functions like that.

In fact to give you an idea how deeply neuro-reactions are connected to this world, two Canadian engineers created a visor where they would flicker lights at your eyes and the rate of your brains reaction to those lights fairly accurately determined your IQ.

Your eyes are nothing more than an extension of your brain.

Of course pupils respond to light and darkness so you have to factor this in when you are considering evaluating levels of attraction.

Lip fullness

In a very subtle way a woman’s lips can become fuller when interested in you. This is harder to tell than above but it not a body language thing but more a physical autonomic reaction, so I have more trust in it.

Body language

No need to rehash this in-depth as I think these are the least useful signs because they are so well know, can be staged and obvious but I will mention a few. For example, exposing her wrists, leaning forward, moving her hips (hips are an important factor in female mating and reproduction), licking her lips, point her knees when siting in your direction, taking off or playing with her shoe, caressing a drink, making circular movements with her fingers, smiling and more eye contact.

Leave a comment and let me know if you have any other ways in which you gauge a females level of attractiveness to you, if you are considering dating her or are dating her. Of course this could work for men too, but let us be honest here, women are infinitely more mysterious and interesting.

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

7 thoughts on “How to tell if a girl likes you”

  1. Honestly I’m not thinking like you, I disagree with many things you write Mr. Admin, BUT I’m always happy to help people.:) So one other sign which means the girl is interested in you: when she is looking at you,from the side, and lifting up her eyebrow (maybe slightly looking up, from a lower angle). Of course it does mean she is interested, but with a little smile it’s a very very positive sign. (It is also a common gesture of males – it’s my experience.)
    Good luck guys! In my experience men tend to realise it later or not at all when they are liked by girls, open your eyes wide. Oh and always take care of your appearence, a woman with one glance can see you from your toe to your head’s top and will see every single detail. Just one glance gentlemen, we don’t need to stare 😉

    1. So in other words, he has to be tall. That is no secret. I’m sure your advice would work in many other countries, but not in mine.

      1. Considering the number of movie stars that are short and girls find attractive I do not think height is the factor for attraction that people make it out to be, confidence will attract more girls than pant length.

        1. Mark, if girls are finding a short movie star attractive, then he has the status factor working for him already. Confidence only attracts girls that already consider you her type within the first 4 seconds of meeting. If you are not her type, then she will never date you. It doesn’t matter how much confidence you have at that point. The most it will do for you is make her think you are an interesting, cool guy. That is it.

    2. This is a good tip on how to tell if a woman likes you.

      Women are a lot more subtle than men in terms of dating. I always wondered why girls, if they liked someone would not just be straight and come out and say it. “I like you, lets meet on a date’. Generally it will not happen and if it did it would not end well. In fact, in all my years, and I have a lot, It never happened. Girls would rather play coy.

      I know we are all modern and everything but, a girl who is so forward seems to surrender some of her power needlessly too early in the relationship. In other words, every guy wants to analysis, discover, chase and hunt a girl. That is why fashion that is more subtle with giving out signals will get higher quality men.

      Similarly women who play coy or are naturally coy have a lot of power in the attraction games. That is why men like seemingly simple humble girls, over brash flashy girls.

      Men have to ‘figure out’ in subtle ways if the girl likes you. Trying to tell if a girl likes you is a problem to be solved in a man’s mind. And men like to be problem solvers.
      So like in the poem To his Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell written in the 1650s, women need to be won over. It is a poem of seduction written five hundred years ago, so this cat and mouse game men and women play, must be a human constant.

      The Love poem goes something like this:
      Had we but world enough, and time,
      This coyness, lady, were no crime.
      We would sit down and think which way
      To walk, and pass our long love’s day;

      See if the girl just announced her feelings than this love poem or no love poem would be written. But because the guy has to chase the girl and figure out in subtle ways if she like me or not, it is a much more complicated and thrilling game. Guys have to ‘talk girls into liking them’. Many a guy I know who the girl had no interest in the guys looks at all, was able to ‘charm the pants off’ the object of his early affection.
      On the other hand, maybe the girl liked him all along and was playing the game, I do not know, I am a guy and can not read all the subtleties that are so obvious to women, whether you call it intuition or a woman’s sixth sense.
      So Bia, thank you for sharing one more tip about how to tell if a girl likes you form the ‘inner cicle’ of secrets from a girls mind.

  2. “It is a basic tenet of human psychophysiology that when someone’s pupils dilated they are excited they like you.”

    I wonder if that same concept applies when you look at yourself in the mirror. If your pupils contract, does that mean you don’t like yourself?

  3. He can be just as high as me, I could still pull that way of looking. Just bending my head to the left for example and slightly looking up works too.

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