How to be beautiful

What makes a girl beautiful

There are a lot of myths that are being circulated out there about what is beautiful and what is attractive on a girl. They are perpetuated with psychological studies by ivory tower professors who would not know a beautiful girl if they saw one. Then they are circulated though the largest receptacle for recycled information in the world, the Internet. Lastly, girls read these article of allure and attraction and get the wrong ideas about what beauty is. Women are the worst critics of themselves when it comes to physical attraction. The purpose of this post is to set the record straight about what is attractive on a girl, from a man’s perspective.

Beauty is destiny – I have gotten a lot of girls writing about my post on what is attractive on a girl. People think I give the ugly truth in an uncompassionate way. I find this odd. Why? My underlying premise is beauty is not something you are born with, but something you create. The way you attract the opposite sex for dating and mating is by creating beauty. Only elitist believe beauty is born.

I give you useful information, what you choose to do with it is up to you.

Beautiful European Woman, why? Nice hair and body and style. This is something every girl can achieve.

What beauty is not

Myths of beauty started where all myths are started, with the ancients. People talk about proportion and will show you statues of ancient Greek goddesses. However, I think if one of these statues came to life it would not hold a candle to an average Russian girl. An average Russian girl turns heads not matter what proportions she is born with. Why she knows what works when it comes to attracting men. If you want to be hot you can be, no matter what you are born with.

Now, the reason the experts are wrong is they do not assign weights to their observed characteristics of physical attraction. It would be as impossible as creating a predictive model of the economy. Too many exogenous and endogenous variables.

Let me put it to you another way, your brain as more potential connections than stars in the universe. That is a fact. To find a match for you, your other half is a personal thing and nothing to do with some academic thesis paper on beauty.

Lets look at some of their imperfections.

Facial Symmetry – wrong. Not even close to being important. The romantics believed there is a strange beauty in disproportionality. You can reference all kinds of academic study that say symmetry. You can argue it is important for dating because people see these as a signal for good genes. I disagree. Many symmetrical looking parents have challenged children. Nature works in mysterious ways. More important physical signals for dating do not add up. The experts never tell you the weights of each of these factors. I would give facial beauty less than 1%.

  • However, here is a research study if you want to ready more on this aspect of what is beautiful.

Height – Studies claim being short for a woman is an advantage as there is a ratio of men’s height to woman’s height that is optimal. The idea is short women have more potential partners. This is bunk. Me I like tall women ( I like short women too. I guess I just like women and this is the attitude of most men). I do not care if a woman is taller than me. Not would I care if she is short. It is not a big weight in the equation of beauty, pun intended.

Hip to waist ratio – One name. Evangeline Lilly. The girl has a body like a boy, no hips, however, by any measure she sets a standard for beauty. Few guess would say she is not hot. It is more about being thin than the expansiveness of your birthing hips you are born with.

Color of hair – wrong. Be natural do not color, dye, perm or fry. Mousey brown is hot if that is your natural color.

Color of skin – wrong. In southern cultures they like light, when I went to Latin America heads turned with my blond hair, blue eyes and fair skin. In northern culture people like dark (tanning, Italian look). It also depends on the time and person. Be yourself no matter what color you are.

What beauty is

Physical beauty is what gets neurons in the opposite sex to fire and trigger a reaction that will get you the attention you deserve. And believe me you deserve attention, as I have never seen a woman who was not beautiful. You could have had an accident or born with serious physical challenges but to me, I would think you are beautiful. I mean this sincerely. So these ideas are just ways the average girl can improve her look.

In life there are things you can change, things you can not change and things that really matter. Luckily for us the first and the last are the same when it comes to beauty.

The things that really matter are the things you can change.

I would nominate hair and body as the most important factors in physical attraction. I would say this is over 90%. Look at Jennifer Aniston. At one time she was the hottest girl in America, and she is nothing special except beautiful hair and body.

Look at any top model, basically no chest, thin and long hair and a funny looking face. Some really look strange with big ears or noses etc. But they all have a body and long hair. Every female face is beautiful, if the hair and body is in place. Then in the most natural way you can enhance your look with maybe natural lipstick and a smile.

Even if you are average in looks, grow your hair long and you will stand out in a positive way.

Hair and attraction – Contrary to popular belief hair is your largest secondary sex characteristic. That is a fact. All you have to do is grow it long, even to the small of your back. Why do girls want to artificially inflate their chest? They could simply grow their hair long and guys will flock to you more than any silicon beauty.

Also with your hair keep it natural as possible. The beauty industry is a big market, and added to this women give horrible advice to their girlfriends about hair. Hence all the mixed messages and wrong ideas, maybe it is subconscious and they want to knock out the competition. Read my lips, long hair is hot, a bob is not. Sorry but it is true.

How do you take care of your crowing glory? I am using a little of my daughter’s baby shampoo for shampoo and conditioner in one. For me this leaves my hair softer and nicer than any high-priced conditioner. Or use a natural conditioner, something you make yourself or get at whole foods type stores.

Eat right, take vitamins and if you really have to, try nail buffing a reflexology technique to increase hair luster or have a pack of gelatine a day.

But remember the bottom line is your hair is the most important characteristic to attract guys, not some body part.

Think of a guy with a really good hair cut, he gets noticed. Or an animal with a shiny coat, no question it attracts at a primitive level. It is even more true for women. Long hair is a sign of submissiveness or at least femininity. Now you might not be into that personality wise (guys are), but it works for animal attraction. Then you can let the guy figure out for himself about what your personality is about. However, at least you attracted a date.

Shape and physical attraction – Thin is in, or at least toned is good. Being a fat girl is a powerful message that you do not want to compete or be healthy. If you do not understand about proper nutrition, than chances are your off spring are going to be a chip off the old block and not care too. For mating, dating and passing your genes, longevity, the ability to have energy and get things done, being unhealthy and overweight all translates into you not being the best selection when it comes to romantic love and reproduction.

Newsflash: there is something you can do about your shape. Body shape might be in the genes but whether you actualize this and how you live is your choice. You can do something about your health. You are not a victim.

How do you start if you want to be a skinny girl? Start by educating yourself on what is proper nutrition. Many people over-estimate their caloric needs. I am very active and basically have one good meal and a few healthy snacks.

I have not had a car for over ten years. I might have to walk two hours a day for shopping but so what, I save money on the gym. I eat salads and soups and never go hungry. It is a small price to pay for feeling great. You can use your imagination and what fits into your lifestyle but where there is a will there is a way.

The biggest problem is people replace self actualization like learning a language, travel or learning a musical instrument with eating. It is easier, address this issue, become a Renaissance person it will be good for your dating life.

If your job is making you fat because of stress or whatever, quit your job. I mean it. You will be happier and have less money to spend on food. What good is money if you have no love or health?

What style will attract men – I have written a lot about beauty and style so there is not need to rehash this too much, you can explore my website. However, basically simple is better. Women that spend an inordinate about of money on clothes are perhaps trying to compensate for unhappiness in their love life and are sending a message to a dating partner that you are high maintenance or they will have to compete with you. Love is never about competition.

This girl has beautiful style, simple and elegant, look and learn.

Clothes do make the woman to some extent. Do you remember Bridget Jones Diaries? She did not get her boss to notice her until she wore a see through top. With the right style you can compensate for any physical flaw in your looks, but grow your hair and get in shape.

Remember there is a complex stratification of reality. As humans there is more to us than animal attraction. There is physical attractiveness, spiritual and intellectual attractiveness. They are interrelated. Develop all three. Humans are multidimensional and it is so unhigh to see a girl who has no idea about transcendence. A Jersey girl would do nothing for me. Why?

How to be beautiful

We are but strands of energy between heaven and earth and why you exude has more to do with who you are than your chest size or facial symmetry. If you do not believe me you will be lonely.

13 Replies to “How to be beautiful”

  1. In the photo above if you notice the woman has not only simple style but sensual and it is nothing flashy. Too bright colors will detract from the object of your attention, the body. Let your body and face shine not your clothes.
    The color of the clothes almost matches the background of the landscape.

  2. Evangeline Lilly’s lack of hips is not attractive. In America, the majority of men prefer the hourglass figure. Even my husband, who is Russian, believes a woman is supposed to be shaped like a woman, not a boy. Maybe I’m biased here because I have big hips (I have a 23-inch waist and 38-inch hips), but where I’m from, being so skinny that you lack a womanly figure (like women you would see in Hollywood) is not desirable unless you’re attracted to the fake look, like a size 0. Look at Marilyn Monroe. Her figure was unusually hourglass, and men still find her gorgeous. She was immensely popular in Russia, too, so there must be a large majority of Russian men who also prefer a voluptuous figure. (Not trying to start an argument here, just stating a point.) 🙂

  3. Evangeline Lilly’s appeal did not come from her body, because she has none. It is no fault of her own either as she as an ectomorphic genetic type.
    It was the fact that I think guys liked her because she was so difficult in the TV series Lost. She always got my favorite characters killed off, she was the Island tramp, and she was never really remorseful for her crime. She played with people’s emotions. That combined with the fact the camera angels were very flatting to her, focusing on her arms and her face and not her narrow shapeless body.
    It did not hurt to have a long hair brunette running ill-clad and sweaty though the jungle.
    Through the whole series she was mildly irritating both in terms of looks and character, however, I kept watching. I think her appeal for some guys was in spite of her lack of hips.
    I personally like a shapely figure. If you have wide hips you are very lucky as this is a huge indicator of attractiveness.
    I believe the motto that all women are beautiful and we all add up to 100%. It is just how we want to express this and who we want to attract. By the way that Evangeline Lilly is pregnant and still living in Hawaii. I wonder why a girl like that did not get married first.
    Anyway, I tend to agree with you on this point as long as curvy does not turn into BBW.

  4. Exactly! BBW is not attractive, and if you’ve noticed, BBW are often very loud. Have you noticed that? They tend to be loud and noisy and cause a ruckus where ever they go. I’m not saying that to be rude, I’m saying that because that’s the way it is here in America.

    And it’s a good question why Evangeline Lilly didn’t get married before she got pregnant, as she’s supposedly very religious.

  5. BBW as loud, have I noticed this? I think everyone notices this. Maybe some are not but I hear a lot of people make this comment. I think it is that they are not thrilled with what they have done to themselves. They packed themselves and are unhappy about it. They are not happy and have to irritate others to prove something.

    Every day I am on the tram and a huge woman takes up two seats, I feel bad for them on one level, but it is their fault, they are packing. I have to moderate and they do not?

    Anyway peace and love to each their own.

    Evangeline Lilly is human and I think she like beefy macho guys and got knocked up. It is that simple. No matter the fact she carries a Bible with her, she made a lot of money and not wants to have kids. She sees it that way. She claims she is not Hollywood but her actions speak different. But maybe I am wrong. I cold be wrong about her. She does try in life, and maybe more than most.

    She was with Dominic Monaghan but it was a total miss match. She might be a good human but like everyone does not have the full wisdom of life experience.

  6. “You can reference all kinds of academic study that say symmetry.”

    Actually you are right in the scientific sense too, as an asymmetric face has been shown to be more attractive than a symmetrical one. The studies which support the myth of a symmetrical face being beautiful are studies with small study samples and from ‘dodgy’ sources .

    I dont like the subject matter of this blog so much, as it feels vain of me to read about beauty and such, but you write so well I cant stop myself. Its not just your style of writing, but also the content…Which is strangely some very wise content for a talk about silly things like beauty and girls.

  7. I found so many contradictions here.

    You said that only elitists believe that beauty is inherited genetically (I think you meant that with the word “born”), but yet a few paragraphs later you want women to advertise their good genes, in order to be successful at the mating game, which I believe includes passing on their “beauty” genes to their children. Does it really matter then what the parents look like? This sounds like Breeding 101 Chapter 1.

    You said that women preferably with long hair can be considered beautiful. What if a woman isn’t able to grow her hair butt-length? My sister, for example, has an iron defiency and she can’t grow her hair past her shoulder blades, but she is beautiful (I am being objective). When I lost a lot of weight, my hair started to fall out, and I had to shave it off, and I spent a very happy two years with short hair; I didn’t have to worry about the maintenance and the hair being in my face all the time. Do you know that long hair is hard to keep in great condition? Try growing your hair as long as the ideal woman’s length hair, and take care of it for a few years. See the knots form. See your ends split. Watch it fall out when you lose condition.

    Long hair also doesn’t make a woman automatically beautiful, nor does virgin hair (hair that has not been dyed). There is a woman I am fond of who is in the first place not a conventional beauty at all (strong jaws, understated cheekbones, small chin, quite short) and her hair is short (tips hang a few inches beneath her chin) and dyed burgundy with cream highlights, which makes it eye-catching, more so than a simple curtain of hair.

    Also, bald women discard men’s expectations when they shave off their hair. Now, men would have to look at their eyes and actually see her. When your hair isn’t there to “protect” you, you have to rely on your personality and your eyes. Have you seen Lisbeth Salander’s mohawk? It’s beyond awesome, and I look forward to the next time I cut off my hair (it is long again now, shoulder length).

    “Long hair is a sign of submissiveness”? Really? In 2011? What about rock stars with long hair? Are they submissive and feminine? If I grow my hair long, I grow it leonine. It may make my face look smaller, but it doesn’t make me feminine. Also, it’s handy as a natural beanie.

    Hips and height … most women are short. The only reason men specifically like tall women is because they approach male height.
    It’s a rapport thing – of course you will relate better to someone who resembles you, even if you don’t consciously realise this. This is why I don’t wear high heels or platform shoes – they force the shorter woman to be something that she is not, and they make it hard to run away if a pack of men should chance upon you. And hips? Why can’t women also have narrow hips? I have very narrow hips and broad shoulders for a girl. It helps you run faster too.

    Also when you said that you have never seen a woman who is not beautiful, why hand out advice? I don’t think men should dictate beauty standards to women. You don’t see other animals doing it. View it from this perspective; if some animal, say a bull, refused to mate with cows just because they don’t pay enough attention to their tail tassles or that their ears don’t make them look submissive enough, or when lions promote a skinny, slim ideal of a lioness instead of the burly ones who can single-handedly (pawedly?) take down a wildebeest, nature would be seriously screwed up. They accept the females for what they are, healthy and functioning. We as humans have screwed each other up through things like gender roles and beauty ideals so much that we can’t function beyond this facet of our lives. I know my analogy is ridiculous, but so are human beings. Why not write something like, “Why you should not try to look like someone else’s illusion”?

    1. I am a man and I am telling you from a man’s point what beauty is. Men like long hair on girls. The exception to this is if the woman is a mother and needs to focus on her children. I am just the messenger. I think women give horrible beauty advice to women. They have no clue what looks good on girls.
      Women giving women beauty advice is like guys telling another guy: it looks good to have really long hair in a pony tale, wear a black t-shirt with some faded metal group and be real skinny. Maybe some girls like this, but I think most girls would find a guy who has a little muscle and shorter hair and better dressed more attractive.
      Men can not fully see that is attractive on men and women can not understand a male point of view of attraction.

      I do tend to contradict myself sometimes, but I think often hold two truths, even is diametrically opposed at the same time. Life is a mystery and never this way or that and so is reality.

  8. Women have no clue what looks good on women?!! Don’t be silly. Of course we know. And why is it so weird that men should advise each other on what looks good on men? That makes perfect sense to me.
    And for the exact reason that we don’t understand beauty from each other’s vantage point I think it wise that we don’t hand out advice to each other. If women tried to force you to be the male ideal (V-shaped torso, tiny hips, symmetrical face and vestiges of simian good-looks) you would protest that it goes against your individuality, wouldn’t you?

  9. “Being a fat girl is a powerful message that you do not want to compete or be healthy.”

    The problem there, Mark, is that fat acceptance is all the rage here in America. These girls are being told it’s okay to be a size 24, and that you still look good and you can still be healthy. I wholeheartedly agree that some people are just going to be bigger than others no matter how much they diet and exercise, but no one is naturally a size 20 or 22 or 24, yet these people are being told it’s okay, so they don’t bother changing. I think it’s sad.

    1. The fat acceptance crowd are swindling themselves out of their own life. Believe me, I have back problems and I do not wish it on anyone. If you are overweight you are inviting back and cardiovascular issues. You will sluggish and in pain eventually.
      This comes back to virtue is its own reward. That is if you live a healthy lifestyle, generally, but not always, you will be rewarded with the ability to do more in your life and experience a wider range of things. This will make you a more interesting persona and maybe beautiful.
      The Ancient Greeks, at least some of theme, believed beauty and virtue were almost synonymous. Look at their classical statues of Venus for example. Goodness equaled beauty and beauty was a sign of goodness. So I think that argument is a stretch as many not attractive people are good people and many people with allure are temptress of darkness.
      However, if someone practices moderation and diligence with mind and body you can at least be an 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.
      I look around here in Poland and see few to none girls who are normal weight that are unattractive. I am tempted to make a collage or a collection of images of girls here and you can see what I mean. I mean everyone is beautiful, if you live with a little moderation. Each girl whether 21 or 71 + has their own beauty.
      I wish I could convey to girls this message. That is I do not see unattractive women in the world. Further, women judge themselves by different standards than men judge women for looks.
      We do not care if a girl has imperfections at all.
      We do not care if her chest sags (sorry its true).
      Women think their body must be perky and perfect.
      Wrong, a man is instinctively attracted to a woman, the way she looks naturally. I think one of the few things a girl has to do is stay active and fit and besides that, women look good naturally. I see many older women who are fit and can wear jeans and a designer t-shirt.
      I saw that girl Kinga wrote a pretty good comment on ideas on how to be thin naturally, basically with a good diet that is more meals at home and less processed foods.
      I know many a European girls who come to the USA and they expand just based on nothing else but processed food. They eat the same amount and the same times and walk, but the food is so nutrient poor it lack micro nutrients like chromium or B vitamins that I think their body processes in the wrong way and they accumulate fat, and then get depressed.
      So Fat acceptance Vs. being healthy I would choose the latter if I had a choice.

  10. I have long hair and slim fit body shape
    but I have asymmetric and thin long face + not good ordered teeth.
    Well, I don’t look terrible but I don’t look beautiful.
    I don’t know what can I do to look more attractive,
    while I am afraid of plastic surgery
    Do you have any advice for me?

  11. I do not find her beautiful.
    She is way to dramatic, and she have no talent at all.
    I think her face is okay, but to me she seems like an overdramatic little girl.

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