Marriage in Poland to foreigners – 1/4 are fake

In my post marriage in Poland I tell you about how to get married in Poland. However in this post, you are reading, I talk about a problem in Poland, that is at least 1/4 of all the marriages in Poland to foreigners are for fake. This is fake news and needs to be fact checked. I would say statistically there is not variation from other countries.

It seems way too high for me. This is an estimate by a Polish newspaper. That being said it is annoying that I get so many people on this blog looking for fake marriages. I delete their requests.

Some claim it is for love and others are more honest and say it is for money.  Others ask how they can get a Polish girl to fall in love with them so they can get citizenship for Europe.  These spammers and marriage for citizenship bidders are annoying.  I can understand that they do not like the economic situation they live in. I really do, but what they want is illegal and immoral and they are very insincere. Europe will be flooded with people from around the world because they know the law and there is an easy way to get into Europe. That is marrying a European.

I wonder why some Polish girls fall for it. I am an American married in Poland.  I am really in love and my wedding was for love.  However, people from around the world seek out Polish girls to marry so they can get an EU citizenship.   The price on the market for a false wedding in Poland to a foreigner is about 5 to 10 thousand Euro.  That is a foreigner guy pays a Polish girl.   This is very wrong and the Polish government and police are getting wise to this.

How Polish girls get burned after their fake wedding

When there is one of these arrangements, a wedding for EU citizenship the funny thing is the guys more times than not, just take off.  They never give the Polish girl the civil divorce they promised (they are all civil marriages) and they disappear.  The Polish girl can now never get married again. Why? Because she is still legally married in Poland. And once you are married you are married all over the world.  So this fake (for money or they get tricked into believing it is love) marriage to a foreigner ruins their lives.

Kvass | A Ukrainian drink that leads to funny situations

Origins of Kvass

Kvass is a medieval drink which means ‘leaven’.  It is basically non-alcoholic drink fermented from rye and mixed with herbs or fruits like mint and strawberry.  If you have never tasted it your missing something.  It is popular in Ukraine and Russia and goes back 5,000 years plus. It is also known as a monk’s drink. In Ukraine and Russian in the 17th and 18th and 19th century it was the most popular drink in town.    It taste great cold in the summer. Below is me next to a Ukrainian Kvass truck when I was in Crimea.  I drank Kvas morning, noon and night.

Kvass truck and me in Crimea.

A funny Kvass story

Last summer I was sitting in a field behind my flat in Kraków with my Kaisa. I was eating salami and drinking Kvass and reading a book.  At that point two Polish police officers proceeded to write me out a ticket for drinking in a public place.  Of course I tried to explain to them it was Kvas and for some reason they did not know what I was talking about.  Kasia explained to me that it was  is really a Ukrainian Russian drink and not popular in Poland.  When I gave them a whiff of the  bottle, they said aha and made some comment about me being an American health food guy and walked off.

Second Kvas story

I had secured a great supplier of Kvass at one of the local shops and was walking down the street with my stash.  I had so many bottles that one of the bottles broke though the cheap plastic bag I was carrying them in. My kvass broke open and sprayed a girl walking by all dressed up for her Saturday night date.  It was almost as if my kvass followed her as she tried to get out-of-the-way.  The end result is she was covered with my foamy kvass spray.  I tried to apologized but she said ‘great, now my boyfriend will think I was drinking’  – I said ‘its kvass!’

Keep reading about this fermented beverage

Kvass comes from a Slavic word meaning to leaven or to rise (Old Slavic квасъ, kvasŭ_. It was mentioned in the Primary Chronicles in Kievan Rus written in the year 1113. Of course it goes back further but it is mentioned here as that is when the written language was codified. When the Slavs were living in the forest they were drinking this ‘liquid bread’.

I have drunk some variation of this beverage in South America, the States, Poland and Russia but nothing is as good as some good old fashion Ukrainian Kvass. Admittedly the ancient Egyptians were creating this stuff or something like it, yet the signature today is distinctly Slavic.

I would go back to Crimea just to taste some, that is how good it is. I basically lived off the stuff there and lost a lot of weight. If you look at the hots my wife and I at the upper right corner of this site you will see ourphotoafter a week on Kvass.

I am not saying it is the next Dr. Oz breakthrough and I doubt I think it has some calories but I did lose weight when drinking it.

Vendors are better than shops, but they are only in Eastern Europe
Also you want to buy it from the street vendors. I have not tasted anything as good as this in the shop.The ones sold in plastic bottles and sweetened are the worst while the natural ones and in glass bottles are the best, preferably with less sugar, check the carbohydrate content per serving. Soft drink beverage makers (cough, cough Coca-Cola) bought micro manufacturers of this and I think they sweetened and spoiled the formula.

Where to buy Kvass in the USA
You can go to any Russian or Eastern European store, every major city has them, and you can buy the good stuff there. Ask me if you need guidance on this.  For example in Boston there is Bazaar or Berezka in Brookline and Brighten (take the green line on the T), or any Wholefoods has something similar a little more pricy and herby. I like them both. In your local grocer in the ethnic food section, such as Spanish they have something similar. Or you can make it at home.

Making Kvass
It was popular with peasants, monks and even people of the upper class. If Kvass was that ubiquitous then you know the receipt is not that difficult.

You can ferment it with yeast from rye, wheat or barley you can though in some fruits and birch juice or herbs. In Ukraine they make it from beets also for digestive problems, its good for the liver and kidneys.

You can buy variations in the USA but it is not the same as in Eastern Europe.

Beet Kvass is made by:
Slicing up three large organic beets and adding salt (one and a half tablespoons) and water.  Leaving it at room temperature for two days.  The glass container could be a two liters for example. Some people add a half cup of whey I do not.

This is lacto fermentation or lactic acid fermentation, similar to sauerkraut. Leuconostoc is the main bacteria at work here.  It feeds on the natural sugars and creates an acidic environment destroying the other harmful bacterias.

An Asian drink similar is Kombucha, it is mushrooms and tea. It tends to be high-priced in the USA and I prefer Kvass. Kombucha is way over price and more a premium good hyped by health claims. Maybe it is good put it on par with green tea. Better is consume some beet Kvass as explained above for the pleasure of it, than some promoted health benefit at a price.

Buy organic and you will taste a world of difference in the beets. You can even try golden beets.

How to impress your date with fermented grains
Do not take her to a fancy restaurant, do something different (Sushi is no longer different) buy her some Kvass and see her reaction. Do not expect her to get tipsy on it as it is considered non-alcoholic with less than 1%, yet on a few I think I felt something, maybe it was my imagination. Therefore I would not recommend it for kids or people who are pregnant. However, for a date, yes, it is a novelty, that will open them up to different cultures.

How to find a loving wife

How to find a loving wife

If you are looking to find a loving wife, I will tell you the secret of finding your lady friend. This blog is my personal blog so it is not politically correct. Further, I am not writing something you might read on cookie-cutter relationship advice pages that float around the web for the benefit of some paid online dating site.  My advice to find a wife will work.  No guarantees with people, but generally, it will work.

Where to find a loving wife

Do not look in the USA or the UK unless your values are materialistic leaning. I personally am an unrepentant capitalist. I am a student of economics. I teach economics. However, the US and UK in my personal opinion stress too much materialism in our culture. Yes, we all need money, but this is not the yardstick on which we judge people. Money is like a snake and must be handled carefully. Money and love do not mix in any way. Money is to some extent the opposite of love. Dating profiles often boast 100k incomes. In contrast, I say find people who read the Bible instead.

Everyone is an individual so you can find alternative currents in every culture, but generally, Americans like to spend money on consumer goods. I do not see too many Americans growing their own food and baking their own bread. If they do that is who you want to go for. So this post is not about if Americans spend too much and put too much weight on money, but my recommendation is this, find an American or UK partner who does not, or look in another culture.

American women tend to be liberal and American men conservative.  I think most guys want a conservative traditional wife.  I am sorry but this is the truth.  So in America, we have many mismatches in terms of relationships and people are not aware of why. Many marriages fail as the ideal of love is not shared in the same way.

Go for Bible reading, church-going, gardening, women who stress education and reading, but not money. See good in all people but for marriage find someone with shared values no matters what race or culture they grew up in.

Latin America and Eastern Europe are the best places, also India if you are looking for a more traditional wife, generally.  China I do not have enough information on. If you are a conservative person do not marry a liberal person, this will be trouble as somewhere your relationship might start to become a political social arena. If you believe in God marry someone of faith. I recommend looking in Russian and Poland and Ukraine. The women there as women are generally more traditional. These are broad strokes of the brush on the canvas and are not to be taken literally. Rather there are cultural aspects in each county that are different. I respect all people and cultures. Some might simply have an affinity of values closer to your own personal views.

If you look for a loving wife in the USA make sure you find one who will not try to boss you and tell you how wrong you are. Some guys react to this by trying to counter that by trying to be macho. However, playing macho games will not work either as women, in the long run, will resent it.   Too much energy.  You want to just be yourself and have your wife adore you for it. Therefore, I recommend, finding a wife who will be good for you. Cook your dinner, and take care of the family and not be a critic of you, especially to her friends.

Qualities to look for in a loving wife

I have had many American women say something to the effect,  ‘I do not cook but make up for it in other ways, ‘wink wink’. Translation they do not cook and have slept around a lot.  This is not a girl you want to marry in most cases. There are many wonderful American women, just be careful who you choose. Leap with your head as well as your heart.

You want a normal girl.  A girl who says I will cook for you, who is humble and says their sorry a lot.  Why?  I would do this for them. Being a husband or wife is about giving 100% to the other person with no limits. Really. Saying sorry and being humble and saying ‘I am nothing special is great quality.  Humble people are sweet, arrogant people are weak and will make other people unhappy.  So if you have a wife who is a career woman and does not say she is sorry and does not cook much.  You’re in trouble.  Why not go for a submissive humble wife who believes in no limits and believes love and relationships are forever no matter what.  Then you will have magic in your life.

How you should be towards your wife

If you want a princess you need to be a prince.  Do not even think of cheating. Take care of your wife and be there 100% of the time even if it means quitting your job or taking some lame low paying job instead of your career.  Family is most important.

Where to find love

I found love by accident on a trip to Poland, my family was Polish.   But if you can not have destiny smile so easily, try the internet. Free online dating for example.  But I would recommend traveling first and do not try to impress women, just be yourself and have a sincere interest in the places you travel to.  This is how to find a loving wife.

How to be a beautuful girl – or marry one

The purpose of this post is to teach women how to be beautiful with a simple formula. Also for guys, to raise their awareness regarding what attractiveness beyond that Maxim displays on their list of Attractive girls of the month. Rather female has qualities you want in the dating and marriage process.

What is beautiful and how does this relate to women?
Beauty is something that gives pleasure without being consumed. This is a classical philosophical aesthetics conception of beauty which was articulated by Thomas Aquarius. Upon being seen it gives pleasure.

Something that it if you acquire or indulge then consume it, it is gone, it is merely a transitory saturation the senses. However, a piece of art you go not have to posses or use, rather it just radiates to your sense and stimulates your brain to give you happiness as long as you experience it. This is beauty.

A distinction between enjoyable and admirable beauty can be made when talking about women. Both ladies give pleasure to the sense upon being seen. Enjoyable beauty is more connected with sensual and admirable beauty connected to intellectual or spiritual pleasure. I believe for a girl to be beautiful only the latter really matters.

Girls listen up, your bodies and equipment are all basically the same with slight variations. In a man’s eyes you need to refine virtue to attract love and be loveliness incarnate.

This is because all women have the same basic equipment. If you do not believe me. Go to the beach. This is a laboratory of beauty. All girls are wearing the same basic bikini and look similar with their stuff hanging imprudently out. Some are a little slimmer or rounder than others, but the equipment is the same. Certainly in the moment of truth to a guy, it all feels the same not matter if your with this one or that.

Or does it? If you are a human with any sense of awareness, from a spiritual standpoint it does matter.

If you go beyond the surface there is a deeper reality that does make a different. While one woman on the beach is smoking and swearing, and another girl is reading some deeply romantic and philosophically complex novel about love and human psychosocial relations that makes you see your own life in a different way. Which will give you more pleasure to you over your lifetime? Which is the most beautiful girl?

Beauty and virtue in one
So the question is can a woman be beautiful or simple alluring, sensual and attractive in an urge to mate with sense? Or does she need to have virtue?

The answer is obvious, if you understand what I wrote above. I recommend women be aware that to be attractive beauty and virtue is synonymous.

  • After a time we are all responsible for the lines on our face. You do not want your life morphogenesis to be like Madame Bijoux in the Titanic who goes to the bar and wears her jewelry waiting for her long-lost love return. The key to finding a good husband and being beautiful is not to be socially trendy but aspire to ideals that men can be chivalrous and write poetry to.

Can you find beauty and virtue in one in America dating any more?

You can, but the cultural tide is so strong that it has swept many American women into the rip current and they are lost at sea in materialistic lies. They have been lost for a while and wonder why I am so lonely.

They wake up in their 30s as spinsters jockeying a career that has no real meaning, as no one really cares about titles and positions any more. The wanton carnal experimental discovery journey that they were playing in their 20s seems to have robbed them of their understanding of repentance and they try to rationalizes it.

Their scores of lovers are only memories and they are alone. When this happens virtue (which is not synonymous with purity) is gone. The best they have to hope for is finding that last hope guy on match.com who will fit their lifestyle of career and girls nights out with kids in daycare ASAP. Yet this will not lead to happiness nor beauty.

How can a girl be beautiful?

Life is about forgiveness, repentance and grace will follow. The key is sincere repentance and transforming your life into a model of virtue in the romantic and classical sense. If you understand that then you can have beauty. The allure that will attract the man of your dreams and make the next fifty years of your life a dream you would only read about in Harlequin romance.

You want to find the one for you and I recommend a commingling of beauty and virtue.

I am an American living in Eastern Europe.  I am married to the most beautiful girl in the world, my girl, not some culturally determine distortion of fascination from disgusting Hollywood star.  If you are an American and want true love, I would highly recommend to keep your mind open to the whole world. Also comment what you think of the prettiest girl in the world.

What is beauty? What makes someone really attractive?

Read what makes real beauty and how to be attractive. What is your conception of allure on a woman? Who do you think is the most appealing lady in the world?

Being superficial here is a list of physical characteristics men universally find attractive on women:

  1. Skinny or at least thin –  Even with me I stay in shape and you can play a xylophone on my ribs, even though I am married. If you are in shape you will command a lot of power in the dating arena. Things like chest face does not really matter. All women are made through a million years of evolution to be beautiful. You just have to control you eating with moderation and you will be.
  2. A nice sense of style – This can include simply tight jeans, a designer t-shirt, and long hair. This takes little to no money. It is a winning formula for looks. All this can be bought at Wal-Mart. What can not be purchased is the body. You have it you need to practice self-denial for it to manifest itself.
  3. Healthy glow from diet – Anti-oxidants either through diet or vitamins or both. By your 20s you should have an encyclopaedic knowledge of the role of nutrients plays in your looks. This is by default via the media bombardment. Well you can ignore all that and follow a simple formula like, eat fresh fruits and vegetables, take a good multi-mineral supplement and eat things like fresh ladyen and fish. Do not be too extreme and avoid instant meals and anything processed.

Virtuous ways to be beautiful for men

  1. Making reading your obsession – If you do not live at the height of your culture you are swindling yourself out of your own life. Study art, literature, languages and music or chess in-depth.
  2. Pray – I am not talking about having new age candles around your bed and quasi-spiritual books that tell you all ethics are subjective and relative. They are not. Develop a mainstream spiritual disciple. If you are catholic say the Rosary, if you are Protestant or Muslim read your holy book and all pray. If you are Buddhist mediate for an hour a day. Ask God for forgiveness of your sins on a regular basis.
  3. Feel the pain of loneliness – This pain is only a calling for your soul to find your soul mate. Be patient, chaste, humble and your beauty will shine and you will outshine all the girls you thought were attractive you will see often become burnt out train wrecks. Feel the pain of your aloneness and let it be the magic that transform you into Cinderella.

Let me know what you think of my romantic and classical concept of beauty as it relates to women.

How to treat girls to get them to like you

The lie of self-confidence – why self-confidence, money, and looks do not get women.

Dating websites or advice columnists will tell you universally self-confidence is where it is at. Further on dating sites girls like good-looking, tall men with a lot of hair and full of confidence to back it up. Men will tell you, you need confidence and some money to back it up. Men tell you in clubs you need to be an Alpha or a Beta with a good playbook to be in the game. Those are myths that have caused a lot of pain for men and women because it perpetuates a lie and causes loneliness.

  • I am telling your straight. You do not need self-confidence. I can not even look women in the eyes, I often mumble and talk to the ground. It gives me the advantage that I can check out woman’s feet and shoes, but little else.

You do not need money or a job. You do not need a game. You do not need to be 6’3” or look like Brad Pitt. I had and have very little confidence. I am constantly questioning myself and analyzing my life. Learned how to treat a woman and became unstoppable with getting the woman I wanted. The purpose of this post is to tell you how to treat women to get them to like you.

I can write with authority on what women want and how to treat them to get them to like you. This applies almost universally to all girls unless they have some psychological imbalance.

Women are waiting for you.

Why I understand women

  • Wife – I have been with my wife 24/7 for about ten years. I work from home and we do everything together and really do not feel the need to interact with too many people separately. We are basically together all the time and happy. How many people can say they live like that?
  • Family – I grew up with two sisters and observed their dating and social interactions. I have a good rapport with this to this day. My mother married over 60 years.
  • World Olympic dating – I also traveled across five contents with a series of dating misadventures and failures. Call me a monger but I have experience. I know what women do not want.
  • Monastic adolescence – I went to an all boys school during my adolescence. I did not intact with women. I had to learn about women from classic literature. My distance from women during this crucial developmental time gave me time to reflect on the meaning of male female relationships. I mean I was living like a monk. I think I went like seven years without kissing a girl. That is a lot of reflection. When I figured it out I was unsupportable.
  • Females heroines and male heroes in literature – I believe classic literature conveys well thought out details about feminine psychology crystallized into a lifetime of experience in the written word. Anna Karenina, Count of Monte Cristo or Pride and Prejudice are better than anything for understanding female desires. Lastly do not listen to women, most do not even understand themselves and are notorious at giving bad dating advice.

If you know the why in life the how is easy

Women want and deserve respect. The way to get them is to build your own virtue and attract women who are spiritual.

What is the secrete to getting women to like you and how to treat them?

Authenticity – What is authenticity? You need to know the meaning of your life. Answer the question of why you are here and what is your meaning. That is it. If you know it and live it, then nothing else matters. Read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s search for meaning or take Landmark Education’s Forum or read my blog. Just get the junk and programming of society out of your head. Understand what authenticity is and this is the next level of self-confidence. It means you can be poor, not good-looking, and essentially powerless, yet powerful. Like liberation, theology teaches, there is a power in being powerless.

Once you have this understanding and live it in your heart, you can jettison misconstrued ideas about dating women, playing a game, self-confidence, money and all the other lies and the false dating prophets tell you. When you understand authenticity how to treat women is answered for you. You treat them in the way you, in your own individualization, understand at an instinctual level developed over a million years of evolution and a spiritual level.  Owning your own life.

Self-denial, self-abasement, and self-flagellation actually work better than self-confidence to prepare yourself to be a lady magnet

Now once you have authenticity you may have self-confidence, but I recommend humility to keep your ego in check. Even doing things that will humiliate yourself and make you feel bad, is good practice to keep your ego in check. Some people do penance and practice self-denial and abasement. I am not recommending self-flagellation as this can cause ego in itself. But generally try to humble yourself and stick to your dreams and not get involved in the measure and criteria of society you are born into.

With authenticity, you will be related to women with sincerity, humility, and gentleness. You can charm it up a bit and add some style to that and you will be unstoppable. My point is you need to get the rough edges out of your personality and spots that are sharp and freak people out or give them weird vibes. If you are authentic it will not happen and if it does you will not care.

I have been jobless and almost homeless and zero style and skinny as anything, but girls still liked me. I was real. I was passionate about literature, philosophy, and life in general. I did not look them in the eyes or have any cool meet lines. Rather I just was my own self. I listened and treated girls with respect.

If it does not work, date foreign girls for a while. They respond to this authenticity. Then with that experience, if you want to go back to dating American women you will exude a different aura. They will be attracted to you, but at that point, you will not want them.

I love you in Polish

How to say I love you in Polish

Kocham cie, Kocham ciebie, ja Kocham cie, this is how you say I love you in Polish.

Love is an undefined thing, no question. When you are in love the feeling is as strong in Paris, as it is in Cleveland USA or Jędrzejów ( a town in Poland famous for its Clock Museum, which is on third place in the world after Chicago Planetarium and Science Museum in Oxford in terms of amount and value of its Solar clocks). How you convey this is important. That is why I wrote this post, to provide some ideas beyond the obvious.

Expressions of love in general

Ways to express your feelings are countless, it depends on you and your relationship temperature, how many of them you will discover.

Polish couples dress stylish, even the next level of compared to European counterparts. Love is still romantic in Poland. This is steampunk love.

I think style and fashion speak strongly. I mean people in love do not walk around during the courting phase in white t-shirts and sweatpants, at least not in Krakow or Warsaw.

You can show love by the way you act – write poems, give flowers, make romantic dinner, sing by the moonlight, hold hands, look each other in the eyes, send love letters , e-mails and texting.

Polish expressions for I love you

As important as all this things that show your feelings are the words you talk to your beloved.

To confess love you can simply say:

  • ‘I love you’ which in polish is ‘kocham cię’
  • and also ‘I adore you’ – ‘uwielbiam cię’
  • ‘you mean a lot to me’ –  ‘wiele dla mnie znaczysz’
  • ‘you are my whole world’ –  ‘ jesteś całym moim światem’
  • ‘you are the joy of my life’ –  ‘jesteś radością mojego życia’
  • ‘you are my other half’ – ‘jesteś moją drugą połówką’
  • ‘you are the love of my life’ – ‘jesteś miłością mojego życia’.
  • You can also say: ‘you make me happy’ – ‘dzięki tobie jestem szczęśliwy (szczęśliwa) ‘
  • ‘I feel good with you’ – ‘dobrze mi z tobą’.

When you refer to the person you love you can say:

  • ‘darling’, in polish ‘kochanie’
  • ‘sweetheart’, ‘serduszko’
  • ‘my dear’,  ‘mój drogi’ for a man and ‘moja droga’ for a women.

In one of the best Polish love songs, a popular group “Maanam” the word “kocham cię” appears 18 times.

It is one of the best love songs I know. It is very sensual and very good to listen, when you want to learn to pronounce ‘I love you’ in polish language well.

Hot topic of love in Poland

Love is probably the cordialtest topic of all times, and it doesn’t lose its strength over ages. It is something that everybody are looking for and dreaming about. Poets, writers, singers, painters – they all get inspiration from love, for some reason especially tragic.

The ordinary people fall in love and so do the great ones. Polish king John III Sobieski was not only a great chief and soldier, but also a wonderful writer and author of beautiful love letters to his wife Mary, in whose he was totally in love.

The history of the verb ‘to love’ in Polish language, which is ‘kochać’ goes back to the XV century and it had many forms:

  • ‘zakochać się’ –  ‘to fall in love’
  • ‘pokochać’ – ‘to begin or learn to love’
  • ‘odkochać się’ – ‘not to be in love anymore’
  • ‘ukochać’ – ‘ to be in lust’.

The last term has a different meaning in modern Polish and it means the same as ‘pokochać’, but it is not in use as much. You can hear it as a noun more:

  • ‘ukochany’ (male form)
  • ‘ukochana’ (female form)
  • ‘ukochane’ (neuter or plural form) quite often.
  • Originally, in Old Slavic, the word ‘kochać’ was ‘kosnąti’ meant ‘to touch, to move’.

How Polish people express love

Polish people are pretty mild with expressing they feelings, especially the older generation. They prefer to show they feelings by simply being together in good and bad days more, than talk about them. My parents and my grandparents are very conservative with their feelings. They don’t have as much problem to say ‘kocham cię’ to the grandchildren or even children as to each other. I think that it partially comes from strict polish church, which is very traditional and rather serious in approach to love and family. On the other hand, especially man in all ages, have no problem to express their  affection towards a sport team…

The whole Polish society is also generally polite but distance at the same time. My mum told me that when she was a young girl and was listening to the group “Czerwone gitary” (Red guitars), which was a polish version of “The Beatles” her mother got very upset and forbid my mum to listen to this music. In my grandma’s opinion, it was morally wrong and inappropriate. This was the voice of the generation, and it had impact on my parent’s generation.

Today the trend is totally different and it came with politic changes. You can see it in films – the great part of productions are romantic comedies, which often get ideas from American movies. In the radio 90% of songs are in English, and most of them talk about feelings and relationships.

Twenty years ago we didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, now days you sure can tell the 14th of February.  Young people are more open to talk about their feelings. Love is joy and it is the most beautiful thing in life and I get great enjoy and pleasure to hear and say the words ‘kocham cię’ to my beloved every day.

If you want to now how to say I love you in Polish with an indirect approach check out my page -> Love phrases in Polish

Here is my blog about  romance and love , bookmark and follow it. There are really crazy discussions about dating and girls from Poland and Eastern Europe and the world. Let people know what your experiences are there.

If you want to learn to say I love you in Polish and in other languages check out my page -> I love you

Please let me know what you think of this Polish view of love and I love you. If you want ideas on meeting women for love try other parts of my website or ask me. I lived in Poland long enough to know about these things.

Fishing for a Russian Date

Knowing each bait will attract a different catch when trying to catch a Russian female as your wife.

I would say that if a Russian does not clearly state they support Ukraine, I would not have a relationship with them.

The Kingdom is like a net that draws all kinds of fish. When you pull it in, there will be good and bad, and you will cast the bad ones away. – Matthew 13:47-48

Hang a shiny enough bait in front of a Russian girl and you will catch her like your lady friend. The main thing here is to find someone who is idealistic. You want to think like an idealist yourself. Many fish are in the sea but you do not want to date many. Whether Russian or American or whoever woman you want to date, your one and only true love.

Consider this -American guys offer – and the potential pitfalls of thinking like a non-idealist:

  • The lure of citizenship – You will pay on the way out.
  • A better economic standard – You will pay on the way in and on the way out.
  • The thrill of travel – Could go either way, generally worldly girls are wild and attractive but have a flight factor almost on par with American girls.
  • Romantic idealism – A husband showing more interest in humanistic intellectual ideas – You will find true love.  19th-century Czarist Russian culture was hundreds of years of Romantic idealism.  Relax on a dark lonely night and turn up some Tchaikovsky, read a little Turgenev, Lermontov or Tolstoy and this is the world Russian girls live in, try to understand it. Dostoyevsky such books should be mandatory reading for any guy searching the CIS for a lady friend.
  • You want not someone interested in citizenship or money or travel, but only romantic idealism.
My wife and I have been together going on about 10 years. One of the determinate criteria for success is romantic idealism based on faith, combined with humble, ordinary living.

If you tempt a girl from Russia with one of the above, you will get married. Just know which bait will attract which female.

 Choose your rut (lane) carefully you will be in it for the next 10 miles – Construction sign in upstate NY.

Just remember they are trying to hook you. It is not a one-way sport. It is a dangerous game you play if you do not realize that.

When you browse these tempting hot-shopped hair and make-up girls on any Russian lady friend’s dating site, know what you are going for. Just like you are tempting them, they also try to reel you in.

 Women are man’s most dangerous plaything – Friedrich Nietzsche

The way to catch a Russian date

You want her to catch your scent, that is it.

If you put too much bait on the hook initially, you might not get a better catch but crabs on your line (literally and figuratively). Not that carbs are bad (the metaphorical kind), just that they eat your bait and they detract you from catching the prize fish you want.

The key is do you really want to catch her with anything other than the last point, that is romantic idealism?

My advice is this: The Russian education system is still the legacy of the Soviet system and is a classical liberal arts education. I firmly believe in this system. It teaches you what life is about. You study history, philosophy, psychology, art, languages, literature. Life is multidimensional, and if you want self-actualization, you must do more than go to a technical or business school. Even if you get out and are working as a secretary and living in a dreary block of flats, they are living at the height of their civilization. Do not think twenty years of classical education does not influence their worldview; it does.

Eastern Europe has a great culture of idealism from Orthodoxy to literature and even science, go for an educated idealist woman (or man). Be open to cultures and races outside your own to find true love.

The dizziest girl in a Russian club can spin circles around you linguistically and from a humanistic standpoint. Your advantage is your Americanism, not your blue passport. Americans are practical, business-oriented, and master communicators. Use your communication skills to build rapport and prove to her that you are not some Oki from Skokie who thinks Plato is a modeling compound you played with as a child.

The problem with Russian girls is not scams.

 I am not superstitious. I do not believe in the stars of the horoscope nor have I defied stars in the media, sports and politics. My ideal is not a superficial patchwork of religion but a religion with a solid foundation and clear profile. Hans Kung – What I believe.

The problem with Russian girls on dating sites, lady friend sites Mamba or VK is this: they are not religious, period. They may have been baptized or go to Church on holidays or talk about spirituality or morals, but that is a world of difference from seeing the purpose of life as building the Kingdom of God through humble submission to the will of the creator.

Hence, you will get a nice leggy blonde but might stew in some existential malaise most of her life. Is that how you want to live your life? It will bring you down and erode your ideals.

It is to screen the girls solely on ideals. You might even browse girls in text mode or with a browser like Dillo. Dillo is more of a minimalist browser and will ensure you do not see images.

Is Russian dating worth it?

Yes. I am an American married in Eastern Europe.  Without a doubt, you will not get the same stress as with an American lady friend.  You will have a 60% chance of divorce with an American lady friend. 20 % chance of divorce with a foreign lady friend living in the US and potentially none in other countries or if you find your other half. It is worth it to look for a Russian lady friend.

Best place to find a Russian girlfriend – when you go cast your net out

I would go on a historic tour of Russia. Learn about the history.

Talk to them in a normal way and please be honest. Do not try to impress them. If you try to impress them then they will have big expectations and then you will have to meet those exceptions.

What works if you are looking for Russian lady friends is sincerity.  This does not work with many American women as they are often shown. Russian lady friends are about real.

The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish

Alexander Pushkin wrote about it in verse. It is about a fish who grants wishes. The man caught the fish was married and happy and lived in a humble cottage by the sea. The fish asked him and he said he was happy and required no wishes. When his wife found out her wishes were endless and this brought storm and unhappiness to the marriage. The man was able to command one wish to the fish over the noise of the storm and that was to return his marriage to the way it used to be. Let this parable be a warning to men who marry greedy Russian wives.

Language learning motivation

How do you learn a language? This question begs another question.  Why have some many people tried to learn a language and failed? To me, the answer is obvious.  I have learned and taught languages in Europe for years.  The answer is twofold.
•    The most important reason why people do not learn language is self perception.
•    The second reason is an efficient method.

 motivation and Self perception

People do not think they themselves have language ability. This is the idea that some people are gifted in languages and some are not. Further, there are those gifted that can just meet a language.
This is wrong.
I have taught 100s and 100s s of students in classes and one on one, for many years.  There sometimes is a difference in language ability but it is marginal at best, really in my view  there are no differences.  In the 1000s of students I have taught I have never, ever once met someone who just picked up a language. Not once.

motivation and two false heroes

Two people initially impressed me. I met this Scotsman who claimed he just picked up Polish because it was in the air. He told all the girls this as well as others.  Many were impressed. I checked the facts. Well I found out he studied Russian for 15 years and had a PhD in Slavic languages, further he lived in Poland for 5 years worked at a language school, taking classes off and on.  To me that is not picking up a language because he has a gift, that was 20 years of study.  I met a Polish girl who claimed she was gifted in languages because her English was quite good and better than those in her class.  I asked her when she started studying. She said she started private lessons at age 5. She was 25.  That is not a gift that is 20 years of study.

What older Polish truck drivers can teach you about languages

One group of students was older Polish truck drivers. They wanted to learn English and French to drive in the EU.  Jobs were better paid then in Poland. Most of these guys finished high school 20 years before.  They were not thinking so abstractly like, I can learn or I cannot learn.  They knew they had to learn to put bread on the tables for their families.  You know what. They were able to learn English.   If they can learn English you can learn the language of your choice. It’s all about motivation and the belief you can.  If you think you can you can.  If you think you cannot, you cannot.

Musically gifted people and Language learning motivation

Some people are gifted in music, usually musicians, they just have an ear for it.
Ok I will tell you about two friends of mine. Both equally talented musicians. They are married. Mark and Marta. Marta is a gifted musician, but can barely form an English sentence. Her husband Mark is equally gifted in music but is fluent in English. They are both non native speakers of English. The only difference is Mark studies English and Marta does only from time to time.  Both are musicians with a natural ear for music, but again neither one can meet languages because it’s in the air. One studies and learns the other does not study and does not learn. Learning a language is about studying.

How to learn a language and Language learning motivation

To learn a language set you expectations low.  In one year you can speak a language to a reasonable degree if you study hard, but no one just picks up a language.  Even little children are only saying a few words after 2 years of immersion in a language.
What is my point.  You have the gift to learn languages, even if you are dyslexic or, cannot spell, bad with languages or really think you are .  You do not.
Language is something different then say a talent for basketball or physics.
How? Language is something ever human was built to do. It is part of our brain hardware.  Physics and basketball is not.  Even those who struggle with bellow average IQ or intelligence speak languages. Our brains were not built for basketball, but all of us can speak a language.
A friend of mine had an IQ measured in high school at 89. Yes  his IQ was 89. However, he was fluent in 5 languages and spoke another 5 language at a good level.  He also had language and speech problems. He spoke slow and people called him names growing up. He was my personal friend.  And he did speak 10 languages.  He just loved languages.   If he could do this , you can learn one language.

Dating advice – Marry the Women of Your Dreams

Why do guys settle for anything less than their dream woman when looking for a wife? This advice goes for women looking for a husband. I did not. Why would you? There is a simple way to get your dream wife or husband, consider looking beyond the 25-mile radius where you live. Better is to take it a step further and go to another country. Yes, try dating another culture or race other than your own. You need to break down your own mental barriers. If sassy, over-confident women in your town, who do not attend church on a regular basis yet who live next door are your only dates, then get the heck out of town.

We are all citizens of the world – One world

I would not go fishing for a mate in a place where society did not meet my ideals. I have no idea why guys look in all the wrong places for women. Perhaps sloth is why dating is confined to a geographical radius. If you want to find the mate of your dreams start looking in places where you will have a better chance. For example, American culture places an emphasis on confidence and funny and materialism and physical height.   For me, a woman who is can zing me in a joke or sarcastic remark or overconfidence, and focusing on career has nothing to do with being a good partner in marriage, someone who will raise your family and love you.

  • Do not confuse the values of society inherited by your cultural determinism as congruent with love and family.

My dating advice for guys is to look for these personality traits:

  1. Faith – Goes to church and teaches corrects your caveman moral behavior and brings your ideals to a higher level.
  2. Humility – You are her hero.
  3. Self-denial – Manifest in being thin and non-materialistic.

I am talking about finding your princess for marriage, and not just looking in America, but anywhere in the world. Yes, you can find hometown girls. But why limit yourself?

Men and women if you want a happy life find someone who has good values. Look beyond your culture if you have to.

Western culture accepts divorce, I do not

In the USA 53% of marriages end in divorce and the majority 79% are initiated by women.  If you get married to a foreign girl you have about a 13% chance of divorce.  If you pick the right one  – none.  Read my lips, do not date a girl who believes in divorce or you will find yourself years later giving her your house and half your income and you will be bitter. Instead, date a girl who will be with you no matter what.

I asked my European friend why this was, he said ‘American women are not princesses nor good wives, in general’. That is a pretty bold statement. I started to argue the point that that is not true, some American girls are nice, but he told me it does not matter, learn it yourself. I still believe there are many nice girls in the States and the UK, but I pushed the eject button and went abroad and found meet my princess weeks after getting off the plane.

Call me a fool for love. I arrived in Europe on April, 1st. But 30 days later I was chatting up my wife-to-be.

What you do today will echo though eternity – Marcus Aurelius

My personal story – how I changed my destiny and found true love

I traveled to Krakow, Poland as it has a city rich in fairy tales. Initially, when I met my wife she would not talk to me, so I decided to move to Poland for her to win her heart.  I lived in Poland. I am an American guy, but lucky for me my family came from Poland way back and I moved back to Poland to meet the girl of my dreams.

I pulled out all stops. I took destiny by the horns. I did something radical and quite my career moved to a foreign country and instead of being a corporate accounting executive making 100+k a year, I sold vegetables in the market and taught English. I do not regret it for a second. Even after moving back to the USA almost ten years later, I have trouble being an investment accountant again, it does not matter I have love.

My life is a pure joy since I am married to my other half.

In the USA there are many nice women but the culture is such that men and women do not respect each other in the same way and ideals are broken.   There may be no princess in the UK or America left except in fairy tales.  Girls want to focus on their careers more than family.  Slavic and Spanish women who appear submissive to many are actually strong but have less need to assert themselves in their relationships. It is just a cultural thing.  Rather they focus on making the home a paradise.  And they are proud of it.

Love or money is a common theme today

Date a girl who cares only about love. If a girl says she wants a career and love, run. Run so fast and have another fool marry her. You need to be a fool for love if you are to have a happy life. Money is like water it comes and goes. Not important in life. If you have brains you can always obtain some with your own wits. Not a concern. But a life partner will be the biggest determinate criteria of your happiness in life.

As an American guy, If I was living in the USA I would

  • Move to South America or Europe.
  • Try to contact women that are not from the UK or US via dating sites or normal mail servers. On my website I recommend a number of specific sites to go to.

I am a bright – good-looking – hardworking American guy.  I was not desperate. – Not at all.

It is just the world I grew up in – that is the USA  had a lot of materialistic and the culture did not agree with my ideals of prince and princess type of relationship.  I in my heart always believed one day I would meet my princess.  I moved to Poland and I did.  Nothing in the world can replace this.

Worlds best cities

City guide and language section for the world.   
City name Language Highlights
CzestochowaPolishMiraculous shine to the Madonna
GdanskPolishSeaside paradise and birthplace of solidarity
Baltic coastPolishAmber capital of the world
Nowa HutaPolishCommunists tried to build a city that rivaled Krakow, they failed, now part of Krakow
PodgorzePolishAustrians tried to build a city that rivaled Krakow, they failed now part of Krakow
KrakowPolishThe ancient royal city of Europe. The largest and oldest market in Europe. Magical city where fairy tales come true.
LublinPolishAncient eastern Polish city with beautiful old streets.
PoznanPolishBeautiful city where Polish is spoken with a musical accent
WarsawPolishPolish capital city full of excitement, shopping, and monuments to the brave rising ’44.
WroctawPolishBaroque center in Silesia, close to Germany and Czech Republic
LodzPolishFamous film and Polish cultural center
ZakopanePolishPolish “Alps”, but less commercial and more charm.
ZamoscPolish400 year old, “off the beaten path” Polish cultural center, featured as a “Unesco world heritage city”.
TorunPolishTorun is the birthplace of Copernicus, Hanseatic-Gothic center
MalborkPolishCastle home of the Teutonic knights, 1475 the Poles defeated the Germans and captured the castle.
BiskupinPolish1300 BC Bronze age city. Amazing for those interested in pre-history.
SandomierzPolishYou would think your in Italy but this is the center of Poland.
MazuryPolishBeautiful Polish lake district
LondonEnglishSecond largest city next to Moscow with great royal buildings
DublinEnglishCapital city of the Irish.
EdinburghEnglishCapital city of Scotland
ManchesterEnglishHome of the famed Manchester United football team.
BostonEnglish400 old city in America, founded in1639
PhiladelphiaEnglishBirthplace of America
ParisFrenchSpared from destruction in ’44, has a romantic gothic feel
BrusselsFrenchCross roads between Romantic Germanic languages
MontrealFrenchSecond largest French speaking city in the world. A cultureal Mecca for North America
QuebecFrenchOld world charm in Canada
OrleansFrenchHome of Joan of Arc
Ruhr areaGermanIndustrial center of Germany
FrankfurtGermanFinancial capital of Europe during the cold war.
ZurichGermanCapital of the peaceful nation of Switzerland
MunichGermanInternational Bavarian city with 10% foreign population.
ViennaGermanViolins, angel trumpets and devil trombones fill the air in this musical city, home of the Habsburgs
BerlinGermanVery unusual underground night life.
MilanItalianFashion capital of Europe
RomeItalianThe center of the world for 1000 years
NaplesItalianFrom Amalfi to Pompeii to the bay of Naples, on of the most stunning cities. Red Coral capital of the world.
SicilyItalianSicily was inhabited by the Latins, Moors, Normans, Greeks and more. Each culture left its impact on this exotic and unsual island.
MadridSpanishThe nexus from which Spanish culture and language spread from.
BarcelonaSpanishBeautiful Spanish coastal city.
ValenciaSpanishThe Valencian or siglo de oro (Golden Age) of Spain leaves its marks on this beautiful Spanish city.
Buenos AriesSpanishHome of the tango and 1920’s fashion center in the Americas
LvivUkrainianThe last city in Europe, center of Europe geographically, Western Ukraine.
KievUkrainianAncient fairy-tale city. Famous 1000 year old cave monasteries. Ancient jewel of the East.
MoscowMoscowRussia