The lie of self-confidence – why self-confidence, money, and looks do not get women.
Dating websites or advice columnists will tell you universally self-confidence is where it is at. Further on dating sites girls like good-looking, tall men with a lot of hair and full of confidence to back it up. Men will tell you, you need confidence and some money to back it up. Men tell you in clubs you need to be an Alpha or a Beta with a good playbook to be in the game. Those are myths that have caused a lot of pain for men and women because it perpetuates a lie and causes loneliness.
- I am telling your straight. You do not need self-confidence. I can not even look women in the eyes, I often mumble and talk to the ground. It gives me the advantage that I can check out woman’s feet and shoes, but little else.
You do not need money or a job. You do not need a game. You do not need to be 6’3” or look like Brad Pitt. I had and have very little confidence. I am constantly questioning myself and analyzing my life. Learned how to treat a woman and became unstoppable with getting the woman I wanted. The purpose of this post is to tell you how to treat women to get them to like you.
I can write with authority on what women want and how to treat them to get them to like you. This applies almost universally to all girls unless they have some psychological imbalance.
Why I understand women
- Wife – I have been with my wife 24/7 for about ten years. I work from home and we do everything together and really do not feel the need to interact with too many people separately. We are basically together all the time and happy. How many people can say they live like that?
- Family – I grew up with two sisters and observed their dating and social interactions. I have a good rapport with this to this day. My mother married over 60 years.
- World Olympic dating – I also traveled across five contents with a series of dating misadventures and failures. Call me a monger but I have experience. I know what women do not want.
- Monastic adolescence – I went to an all boys school during my adolescence. I did not intact with women. I had to learn about women from classic literature. My distance from women during this crucial developmental time gave me time to reflect on the meaning of male female relationships. I mean I was living like a monk. I think I went like seven years without kissing a girl. That is a lot of reflection. When I figured it out I was unsupportable.
Females heroines and male heroes in literature – I believe classic literature conveys well thought out details about feminine psychology crystallized into a lifetime of experience in the written word. Anna Karenina, Count of Monte Cristo or Pride and Prejudice are better than anything for understanding female desires. Lastly do not listen to women, most do not even understand themselves and are notorious at giving bad dating advice.
If you know the why in life the how is easy
What is the secrete to getting women to like you and how to treat them?
Authenticity – What is authenticity? You need to know the meaning of your life. Answer the question of why you are here and what is your meaning. That is it. If you know it and live it, then nothing else matters. Read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s search for meaning or take Landmark Education’s Forum or read my blog. Just get the junk and programming of society out of your head. Understand what authenticity is and this is the next level of self-confidence. It means you can be poor, not good-looking, and essentially powerless, yet powerful. Like liberation, theology teaches, there is a power in being powerless.
Once you have this understanding and live it in your heart, you can jettison misconstrued ideas about dating women, playing a game, self-confidence, money and all the other lies and the false dating prophets tell you. When you understand authenticity how to treat women is answered for you. You treat them in the way you, in your own individualization, understand at an instinctual level developed over a million years of evolution and a spiritual level. Owning your own life.
Self-denial, self-abasement, and self-flagellation actually work better than self-confidence to prepare yourself to be a lady magnet
Now once you have authenticity you may have self-confidence, but I recommend humility to keep your ego in check. Even doing things that will humiliate yourself and make you feel bad, is good practice to keep your ego in check. Some people do penance and practice self-denial and abasement. I am not recommending self-flagellation as this can cause ego in itself. But generally try to humble yourself and stick to your dreams and not get involved in the measure and criteria of society you are born into.
With authenticity, you will be related to women with sincerity, humility, and gentleness. You can charm it up a bit and add some style to that and you will be unstoppable. My point is you need to get the rough edges out of your personality and spots that are sharp and freak people out or give them weird vibes. If you are authentic it will not happen and if it does you will not care.
I have been jobless and almost homeless and zero style and skinny as anything, but girls still liked me. I was real. I was passionate about literature, philosophy, and life in general. I did not look them in the eyes or have any cool meet lines. Rather I just was my own self. I listened and treated girls with respect.
If it does not work, date foreign girls for a while. They respond to this authenticity. Then with that experience, if you want to go back to dating American women you will exude a different aura. They will be attracted to you, but at that point, you will not want them.