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What is attractive on a girl

What is attractive on a girl?

Who am I am why do I know about what looks good on girls. I am an American living in Europe.  I also have two sisters, a wife and a daughter.  I have a lot of respect for women.  I am also honest. I am not trying to sell you anything an not a company.  I write my own language learning software.  I am writing this because I feel a lot of women are mislead as to what is good looking and what they should buy.  Companies spend lots of money on trying to convince you what is attractive on girls.  My guy friends and I are all pretty good looking, intellectual and I think they would also agree with my views.  Some guys will disagree but beauty is subjective.  I do not dance around the issue, I tell you what I honestly think.  If you disagree please let me know.  But what I write might shock you.

Lets start with what is not attractive on a girl

Here is my list of things that are things that detract from a girls beauty.

  • Hair color changes are not attractive on girls.  Most girls hair looks fried, that is, their coloring damages their hair.  Also the hair looks fake.  I like real.  I do not like fake. Guys like real girls. Hair is big money and big business.  Give your wallet a break and try your natural color and you will see more guys will respond.  I know girls will protest, but this is true. Natural looks great. I personally have some of the most attractive shinny hair, I get girls asking me all the time what I do.  I wash it with only natural soap, but eat well and take vitamins.  A very natural diet, no caffine or junk.
  • Too much make up is not attractive on a girl.  Basically a little lipstick is all girls need.  If your skin is not perfect spend money on vitamins or something very natural that will help heal your skin not mask it. Do not be affraid of imperfections.
  • Too much grooming.  American girls have tons of cash and spend it on their looks.  Every eyebrow and part of them looks like a well manicured lawn in suburbia, nothing out of place. This is boring.  I like the wild, rustic look. Something thick eye browse look great.
  • Body hair is good except on the face. Women are have OCD about shaving everything.  They should go easy on themselves.  It is instinctive to like hair, hair on a girl is good.  Sure shave your legs but do not go crazy. Girls care more than guys.  Girls do should not feel the need to pluck everything off so they look like a girl.  Be a women, this is attractive.
  • Shoulder length hair is not attractive.  For me, shoulder length hair means,  I do not want long beautiful hair as its too much work, nor do I have the guts to do something radical like cut it real short. So I will be another boring girl with a bob.
  • Tattoos, I want a girl not a sailor.
  • Facial moles, very not cool if they are big an ugly. I do not recommend many body modifications, but mole removal is not bad if it is ugly.
  • Fat is not attractive.  I like skinny girls as most guys do. This is why I think European, Russian, Ukrainian, Polish girls are much more attractive than American girls. Argue all you want, a girl who is skinny is attractive, a size 8 is not.
  • Girls that are not humble are perhaps the biggest turn off.
  • Perfume, its just petrochemicals on your body, why not use your own pheromones, this is attractive 100%.
  • High heels look very uncomfortable to me and therefore no attractive.
  • Foul language, smoking etc.
  • Jewlery and anything in excess.

What than makes a girl look attractive?

Here is a list of thing that I think are attractive on a girl:

  • Long hair or really short hair.
  • Girls that show their face and do not cover it with hair.
  • Thin girls.
  • Glasses or not.
  • Tight jeans and a t-shirt.
  • See though shirts or tops.
  • Earth tones or spring colors.
  • Girls that keep fit.
  • If you want to drive guys crazy try not wearing a bra.
  • Girls that eat healthy are attractive.
  • Brains and humility is attractive as well as wise girls. Stupid material girls are not.

In summary what is attractive on a girl?

Girls that spend money on looks are rarely attractive.  Girls that walk a lot, and wear clothes that are not to pricey, jeans and a nice top or sweater, earth colors.  Natural hair and look and lifestyle are beautiful.  Basically do not spend money on making yourself look good.  Any girl in Eastern Europe spending little, to no money on their looks, look great. Romanian, Russian girls etc total incomes might be a few hundred dollars a month. These European girls look much better than her American counter part spending cash on herself.  If you want to really attract guys play chess, read books, do yoga, learn a language.  This for me is interesting and attractive on a girl.

By Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

341 replies on “What is attractive on a girl”

I have a crush on my cousin and I think he likes me too I can feel it. Do you think we should start anything? I am scared because of the family problems it will cause.

I can tell you what I think is attractive on a girl but not the answer to such a question. Also if you post here please do not use chat style, only proper grammar and punctuation. I have to clean up your comment.

Regarding the answer to your question, it is simple. No. Do not even consider anything with your cousin not matter what. It is not right in my opinion. It will cause problems on many levels.
No matter what you think or feel be the strong one and walk away. Find someone else.

First of all, I would like to say that you are the most shallow person I have ever came into “contact” with. This article is very embarassing for many women. We don’t have the choice of what we are going to look like. Some women are very, very self conscious about their bodies, as well as they way they look. You being a guy, and only giving your opinions on what a girl “should” look like, is very not fair. This is the most ignorant article I have ever read.
Besides, you are a hypocrite. You are not the most attractive guy on the planet, so what gives you the right to speak about women as if we are a men’s play toy? This article has got to be the worst thing I have ever read. That, and it’s all opinionated. Not Eevery guy likes a size 4 girl. Some men like their women with a little meat on them. curves are beautiful, and alluring.

Women: If you read this article, do not take any of this advice. You are beautiful the way you are. There are many shallow men out there, and this is an example of one of them.

Do you want to know what most guys would consider beautiful on a woman? Study the classics of romantic literature and classical art.

The women of Jane Austen who got their prince were the clever, humble ones, not the showy base nor disproportional females of excess. I am sorry but I think tattoos and excessive piercings and being size 14 plus is not in line with the romantic ideal of what is attractive on a girl.

If you want to be like this go for it, but do not expect a to catch your Captain Frederick Wentworth.

Think about how Captain Frederick Wentworth in the book Persausion and how is heart was won. Do you think the American girls you are referring are like modest Anne Elliot? Or are they the attention seeking Mary Musgrove? Or are they like the extravagant Elisabeth Elliot?
Excess is excess, whether it is weight or opulence in lifestyle. It is disproportional and speaks of an inability to temper ones desires in favor of moderation.

Think about what the ancient Greeks considered beautiful in the classical understanding of beauty, it was intimately connected with proportion. I believe in the romantic notion of beauty that allows for some disproportion but regarding a woman’s facial features but bodies are the most alluring when healthy and fit. Females like males should moderate and stay healthy and keep their body’s toned the best they can if they really want to be attractive to the opposite friendship. I am married and I still want to keep fit and do not want to let myself go.

I just returned from to the USA after almost a decade of living in Europe. I wish I could agree with you. However, I was so disappointed when I returned that countless American girls seem not to care about their looks. Some do and some are nice, but at least where I am in Florida there is a disproportional number of American girls that have seemed to give up on being attractive.

No judgements here, if they want to live like that more power to them, but from a guy’s perspective I do not find being a size 14 plus too attractive or cutting their hair short and covering their body with tattoos and piercings. Do not American girls read Jane Austen?

Look at the ancient statures of beauty and the frescos of the ancient world, before political correctness and feminism set in. Woman should not feel upset at this post at all. Rather they should see it as a call to action. Straying too far from the norm with weight is unattractive. Do you not want to make your man happy and keep him interested?

You should write a guide book, ‘Jane Austen’s guide to love, dating and beauty’. Classic literature certainly has a little more insight than pop culture.

Well Mr. Admin your article should be titled “what is attractive on a girl who wants to be dated by boys.” Or more appropriately ” What I want in a girl; a personal opinion”

Otherwise this article is useless to us girls who don’t want to be in a relationship, girls who are interested in girls and finally and most I importantly girls who are interested in studying and getting their careers on track.

All girls want to find love and be with the love of their life. In the words of Helen Keller, “to love and be loved is like feeling the warmth of the sun from both sides”. If some girls does not want to be in a relationship or postpone her life too long this is what happens: the clock runs out and she is some dried up old maid. Lets say to the age of 28 women have to find a good man, or they become a hermit, in some materialistic rebellion fantasy, they will swindle themselves out of their own life.
In their 30s they will be dating recycled player guys who do not want to make a commitment.

There are people like nuns who selflessly decide their lives to service of other, but besides people like this, all normal functioning human beings need love like we need oxygen.

Girls are naturally cordial and irresistible. They have all the power in the world until their clock ticks down and their juices flow out. Nature made it this way to give life some definition and purpose and focus so we can reproduce and the next generation continues where we left off. The cordialtest super models get married and have families. You girls have your cordial looks to attract us guys so we can be inspired to marry you have we all can have a family together.

It is because we will never be here again that makes life so sweet.

An apple or pear loses its beauty if it sits out too long on the kitchen table and you will choose the ripe ones. Do not be mislead my what you read in some magazine or what your teachers tell you, time stops for no one. You need to be aware of that fact,.

So while you are on your way to be some shark lawyer or businesswoman, you are aware that you should drop this career, school or whatever at any moment to marry the love of your life. Or you will turn into a bitter 30 something saying ‘guys are threaten by my power and success’. Or a nutty cat women 40 something woman talking about ‘weird stalker guys’ she dated a few times then he called me several times a week, ‘want a creep’ in woman speak. Hmm, if I were those girls, the prospect of dating that ‘stalker’ is better than becoming the weird cat woman who dies alone in her apartment.

Like my grandmother use to sing me when I was a child ‘everybody needs somebody to love them.’ It is true. Everything else does not matter. Career is a joke, especially in this economy. Career means in your 20s you will work long hours and in our 30s you get downsized once or twice or burned out and at 40 you are too old and are engender employed for the rest of your life.

Are you joking career? Being a corporate slave over love?

I mean that. Anyone that balances love and career is not in love. Love always comes first. Then you can have a career if it fits into the whole family vision.

I am man. I was making over $100,000 dollars a year no problem and I turned my back on it all to be with the one I loved and lived in a 180 square foot apartment with no car or washing machine in a cold dark corner of the world so I could be with the love of my life.

What career is possibly worth more than love?

About my conception of attraction it is right on target. Most guys out there universally find a slim low maintenance girl in nice jeans and a t-shirt with long hair and a natural look irresistible if she has the soul and spirit of a woman, rather than tries to make herself a man because she has been programmed by society.

The simple always reveals itself after the complex has become exhausted. You need to understand life is simple. It is about love. It is the energy of the universe and which brings human happiness and absences of it brings human sadness. We are all sparks off the divine flame, a flame that is love and is at the heart of this universe.

There is nothing wrong with working with nature in letting 1 million years of evolution play its role in mating and dating by optimizing your looks including style and weight but also developing your spirit and mind beyond the ordinary. Learn languages, music, travel do yoga.
You need to be real.

I did not meet my husband or get married until I was 36. We have an 8 year old son. Are you going to say that I was too old and disgusting by that point in my life now?

Of coruse not. You were blessed with a beautful child. I, like you thank God you met your other half and that is a nice story. My wife is 35 and looks great. I did not meet her until I was 40. I just recommend that girls (and guys) do not think that life goes on forever in these mortal coils incarnate in. Rather, if you can find your other half earlier, you can spend more time with them. I spend 24/7 with my wife and daughter as I work from home and we are very happy too. Peace.

@Eleonora:

Even of one doesn’t want a relationship, it feels good to look good. This is common human knowledge. And most of us who have walked on the other side like attractive same-friendship people.

Observe: Professional women who are very successful are self-diciplined and thus attractive. And, they teach their children the same values of healthful living. It is the lower classes, or those who have a crumbling and indifferent family structure, who allow their children to become unhealthy.

As an employer, I avoid hiring behaviorally unhealthy people. It cuts down on nonproductive hours and reduces our health costs, which makes the office a nicer place to work for everyone. It’s been a good choice for us. And I am not the only employer who make these very legal choices, as obese/smoker/partier are not protected classes. Think about it.

Helen, a clear, crisp concise reply. I have often said, I would think twice before hiring a smoker for example. It seems they are always on a break every 45 minutes for 15 minutes, they click together and talk in cynical ways about the office. Unhealthy minds/spirits that fuel the destruction of their bodies. I think employers do consider if someone is high energy and balanced in mind and body with self discipline over someone who is sluggish.
I have often said when hiring people or when interviewing we are all interviewing for the same job. What I ment was it never impressed me when someone had 15 years of experience on their resume or a degree in the exact field I was interviewing for, as much as I generally could depend on that person doing the job. I would hired a music major for an accounting position who was a super star for example. It was because as a whole person she conveyed self discipline and the ability to learn.

Unhealthy habits might be connected to class, but not economics. I have seen many poor people in many countries healthy and thin, yet in contrast think about how many rich big wigs in Washington or Wall Street you have seen that look like the definition of opulence and excess.
So if you extend the idea of ‘class’ beyond economics to awareness, education etc. I agree.

I am proportional. Men tell me all the time that my curves are what draws them in. I am not skinny or athletic, first of all. Second, did you know there are diseases such as Dercum’s Disease, Lipedema, and more that cause people to be “corpulent”. So is your office/ profession shallow enough to only hire “healthy” and “skinny” people? Whatever profession you’re in is obviously a critical, shallow, and overall disgusting. Obviously Helen, you are a woman who picks on others.

I always say this does not apply to medical causes of obesity. The incidence of the above mentioned programs are like 1 in a million while real chronic overweight, which is a huge medical issue is like 1/3 or more of the population. Are you saying like 1/3 to 50% of Americans have this? Do you personally have this? You are not being honest. Those are tumors and we are not talking about that. That is a horrible painful diseases and nothing what we are talking about. We are talking about healthy people who let themselves go.

Why do people go to such extremes to attack a simple thing like a man’s honest point of view, that is a woman (and man) should strive to have a healthy body to optimizes their looks? Don’t you want to be attractive?

I know nothing about you. For example, you could send measurements and see if they are on par with the height and weight charts. I think guys complement girls all the time for various reasons and motives. I would have to know more information or see pictures to make a more objective evaluation. Maybe if you were slim you would get even more complements, curves on a woman should come from her bone structure such as wide hips not abdominal corpulent, unless she has been a mother. Than it is more OK for various reasons.

Many girls that are into feminism are obsessed with the idea of defending the right to be obese. Sure go ahead be that way if you like but it is a medical problem or will be as you age.

What I give you here is what is attractive on a woman from a guys point of view. You have the right to disagree, but girls see the world of attraction different than a guy.

What about common sense? It really does make sense to have a proportional weight to your height if you want to be attractive. I find it hard to believe many normal European or Russian girls (Ok I know we are Europeans but a funny kind of European) would be arguing against this like I read American girls do.

When I finished reading this post I was really confused. First of all it’s okay to have an opinion but it doesn’t mean you are right and it doesn’t need to be on the internet. The women of today are finally impowered and we are creating our own style, so I you don’t like it, then I suggest you go somewhere far in the many villages in Russia, it’s a big country so take your pick. The women of ancient Greece didn’t shave at all and took baths only a few times a year, I’m not sure men want women to be that natural. Also the women in the staues and frescos and books aren’t real, they create an ideal image of a woman of their era and I think it would be impossible to find in today’s generation. Also there are very young girls who start worrying about their self image from day one an they turn into bulimics and anorexics just so they can be a size 3 because the world tells them that skinny is pretty and I am sorry if not all of us have the same determination as you to take lots of vitamins and have “shinny” hair, some of us just aren’t that blessed. You cannot speak for every man in the world that such standards are prefered, and some women…a lot of women would disagree with you. I shouldn’t change myself in order to get a guy, nor do I want to. IF I fall in love during my lifetime I want it to be someone who is an intellctual, funny and caring…notice I said nothing about looks, because if it’s love they don’t matter.

Sara, you misunderstand what I write. I am the quintessential romantic idealist. I went to an all boys English boarding school in New England and dreamed nothing of other than meeting a princess, which I did in the ancient royal city of Krakow, Poland. My youth was spend dreaming and reading books. I had no computers, cell phones and did not watch TV. I to this day do not have a phone or TV, but that is another story. My primary contact with girls was through classic literature. Therefore, I am not some chauvinist who is girls.

On the contrary, I myself had own issues growing up with body image in that having limited contact with women I had no mirror to gauge how I looked and like every youth I judged myself way too hard. In the end, I am a want nothing else but for people to find their one and only based on ideals of love such as outlined in Thomas Kempis or Corinthians 13 on love.

That all being said I also believe people need to learn how to optimize their looks. I did not know how to optimize my looks when I was young and it caused me a lot of emotional pain being rejected even for cordial relationships. I was not ugly, I just did not know how to optimizes my looks. Once I learned this, my world changed. Why? One million years of evolution has programmed the need to be attractive in the mating and dating game. Just because some materialistic bookstore tells you something to the contrary, it means zero. Men and women do need to feel some level of attraction. I wish it was not that way but it is. I really wish like Plato we lived in the world of forms. I wish like in the cult classic movie Harold and Maude beauty transcends everything.

The good news is everyone and I mean every girl or guy can be an ‘8’ if they want to. You just need to know how to optimizes your attractiveness as a girl. And that being said there are a lot of misconceptions perpetuated by women on looks. Women write on looks but who cares what someone from your own gender thinks ot says. The opposite friendship needs to be the one to find you attractive, in most cases.

Therefore, I think as a guy I have a much better judge of looks for a girl than you might or some book on female empowerment. I also do not understand your point about bathing a few times a year. I think it is not practical in today’s society, and I go surfing in the afternoon and shower at night so there is little room for pheromones etc. However, my point is why do women use excess unnatural fragrances and excess things to their hair and looks. It is much better to err on natural.

Further, you are writing about American society, but most of the world lives in India and China and Africa and South America. I think you do not understand how rustic conditions are there unless you travelled there. And Ironically there is not shortage of amazingly beautiful women in these areas, yet many American men complain that American women with all their power and money and all they spend on looks are not that attractive.

I wonder why that is? Maybe the media is selling American women the wrong message about looks?

Dear Admin,

I myself am a “size 14 plus” woman and since I seem to fit so well to your stereotype I felt I should reply.

I am 20 something, I am at university studying to develop a successful career in Journalism and I am engaged.

I am not floral or particularly feminine, nor did I drop out of a Jane Austin novel. If I had the money I would very much like a tattoo of a flower of butterfly on my left shoulder and I also have a shoulder length bob.

This article is very misleadingly titled as it is a very personal opinion as if it were a true representation of the entire male gender then how would I have come across my future husband?

If he were to conform to your definition of beauty I would be left on the shelves to fester. Luckily he sees a beauty in me and proposed earlier this month. While he is by no means an overweight man he sees beauty in my curves, a major part of what makes a woman feminine in my opinion, and while be with me through my career and beyond. As a Journalist, a wife, and a mother.

I am sincerely happy for you (no sarcasm intfended) there is someone for everyone. That is the great thing about love and dating there is someone out there for each of us, our other half.

I like girls from healthy skinny to healthy “big”, in fact, not obese, think about the problem of anorexia, bulimia is not better both are not healthy. A way to be healthy meaty, would also be muscular but meaty, so not flaccid, or muscular skinny, both are variable cases of fitness, depending on constitution and physical make up. Don’t mind my grammar, I’m Italian, given I don’t speak English with super Mario pronunciation :).
About being humble, this may be double entendre, some girls may feel you want them not active or spineless (cleared up by the fact you like them to read books, be cultured and whatnot, anyway) or that you are uneasy with emancipated and assertive girls, making them feel as if they were not “girly” qualities.

The healthiest bodies are about 5 lbs underweight for longevity, however, I am not this. I can not cast stones. I think girls look best like guys do, lean and toned lankey the surfer look. The skinny lean and toned surfer look is better than any weight lifter or ultra thin super model. Do you want to look think surfer girls and guys.

Ok, but what about anorexia and excessive self consciousness some girls have? I for example am a man that find it a turn off, unless really trying to get over it and become more confident.
I also know there are type of bodies that even at their fittest have different corpulent distribution, the mesomorphic, though I don’t know how does it work for females but being me ectomorphic, I have a different bone structure and corpulent distribution, however I could get fit and stronger, but I came to appreciate this peculiarity of me.
A girl can be rounded but have strong muscle, not steroid like strong, which in my opinion look bad even on us boys.
Hey, at the end, after so much tiem, I agree :). Super model skinny is duper, and it evocates the orwellian world of oppressive conformism that fashion (not style) can turn out being.
I don’t know what this surfer fit look is, but sounds good.

This is probably the worst article in the internet.
This is nothing more than a personal opinion. Granted, you noted that in the beginning, but I can not agree at all, that this should be the opinion of most men! It’s just simply not.
Ask 1000 men if they like high heels on girl or make-up. Most will say yes they do. Also most men don’t like skinny girls, it’s so much nicer when there are some curves.
Anyway, terrible article with a wrong message.

Yeah right, guys love corpulent girls with makeup (an fake hair) and high heels squeezed into tight dresses to hide their rolls. If a ‘Jersey shore girl’ is your conception of Cinderella, go for it.

However, I think it is more likely you have been programmed or conditioned by the media to accept this conception of beauty. More likely the beauty industry and the messages they convey. Do not perpetuate this and steer people in the wrong direction with your false statistics.

I have a question for you, have you ever lived in the wild? If you were living in the wild or in a poor area, you will notice, the girls are strong and thin from hard work and modest diet, they use maybe a little natural makeup and they look beautiful.

I have lived in Eastern Europe and I can tell you the students have no money to be corpulent or spend excesses on high heels and makeup, yet they look stunning. Guys from America just can not believe their eyes and once they go there they rarely marry the conception of beauty you speak of.

Now the older girls that are professionals in Eastern Europe, are getting more into western cosmetics as we export our consumer culture to them. However, they use it in the right measure, not to cover up but to accentuate their facial features. And if you do use cosmetics why not use quality natural ones?

Regarding weight, you have yet to convince me that a corpulent girl is more appealing than a girl who is in shape or healthy. I mean, health is wealth and is more important than all the money in the world.

Who would not rather have a cordial girl or guy (for girls) in faded jeans and nice t-shirt with a nice body and a few accessories and a nice hair cut, than some artificial make-up laden corpulent guy or girl? Please elaborate on more of your conception of attractiveness.

Wait, making them feel they need less make up and most important lower heels is not a bad message, I don’t think most guys like too much makeup, I *also* love exagerate make up as it can be artistic, but I love their clean face, even if not perfect. I think many guys have a fetish for high heels, yes, but what they care more is a beautiful lean legs whatever their heel height, unless the fetish prevails what the perceive as good looking on a girl.

Less makeup is more. Less with light accents or a clean face is best. But if a woman uses exagerate makeup for fun, this can look striking. Make up washese off and is not a big deal. It is not like a tatoo. Hair grows back after a cut and is not a big deal either. But I think women should understand most guys like a clean natural look and log hair generally. Girls should not feel the pressure to get tattos, cut their hair, color it, and put on make up everytime they go out of the house.
Better is a simple style of a fit tight body, nice jeans and a nice top with little to no makeup or natural subtle lipstick.

Heei jeg er rundt 1.75 , altså ganske høy, føler at gutter er mer inntriserte i lave jenter, hva tenker du? liker virkelig ikke de fleste gutter høye jenter?

You are about 5’9″ in height or 1.75 meters tall. First, you are on the tall side but not that really tall. You are with in the normal range, I think even within on standard deviation of the norm.
Second, I know many guys that dream of dating a girl your height. I think guys like tall girls. You have nothing to worry about. However, I know many guys that like short girls too. I guess it all depends on the guy. I do not think height is a huge factor in attractiveness, at least as much as something like weight or style or brains.

I still have a crush on him , I cannot think of anybody else, what can I do with this attraction?

Like I said try to distance yourself from him and thinking of him. If you want to write me directly from my contact page you can. But I can not advise you on anything else than this. You have to understand that in this universe there are a million things you can have and a million things you can not. This is my opinion. You can talk to your friends or parents or someone you can trust I think better than I.

Hi My name is Sofi and I do agree with you. But i want to know what among beauty, voice and innocence attracts the guys more?

Love sees with the heart and not with the eyes, this is true as the brain as defined as the higher cortical regions or rational thought are really slaves to the limbic system of emotion and spirituality. And eyes are mere extensions of the brain. So if the limbic system rules our eyes interpretation of what is desirable for mating is based on genetic reproductive potential which in the 21st century is about the survival of the human race as a whole not just the individual. Therefore, encoded in our genes are messages of understanding compassion and community and spirituality.
Beuaty for me is largely connected with what I see in the DNA of the girl, this includes those spiritual values, it is like my eyes can not see much else but what a girl is as a human and in her soul. She could look like some cordial run way model but would do nothing for me unless she her vibration is one of ideals. Innocence is nice and some argue instinctive as it is a sign of lower chances of disease but is being replaced by ideals in general. Voice is largely connected to sensuality, think of the sirens.
But ultimaely beauty for me comes from what is being song from the soul in subtle messages of depth of the soul.

Don’t listen to admin. My parents are cousins and me and my brother are perfectly normal. It might sound strange to others like with me My dads father and my mums mother are brother and sister. It doesn’t matter to my family, in the beginning my grandma didn’t understand why but you can’t help who you fall in love with. People say its wrong to marry your cousin just as much as having a child before being married. Well I was born to both wrongs. So I say go for it, there is nothing wrong with following your heart and its your life no one can tell you how to live it.

Hi! I really enjoyed reading your article and as a 15 year old girl in highschool you may gather appearances play a great part in my life (unfortunately!) I am quite tall I suppose, I’m 5’10 and I’m a size 8 in english sizes (size 4 in American I think being English I’m a bit unsure!). I am just curious as to whether I should cut my hair short, its long at the moment and has been this way for a long time. My hair is thick and dark brown with a natural wave. I want some thing shorter as its time for a change! Should I try it? Also, do guys dislike ‘rock’ girls, as that’s my image I suppose, or do they not like it? I’m not all dark and gothic, maybe not as feminate as some woman although I like to look pretty and dress well. Thank you, any reply would be most appreciated. (Also, I apoligize for any bad spelling you may have encountered.)

Rowanna, Sorry to break the news to you, but you most likely are beautiful. Not a little bit beautiful but a lot a bit.
Being 15 means you are going to be painfully aware of what could be wrong with your looks than the big picture. Being tall is an advantage for girls, most models are. The world is getting taller. You will always find guys interested in you.
About your hair, I think long hair looks better. However, at 15 you do whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy. It is only hair and grows back. I generally think natural not dyed permed hair looks the best and longer the better. However, you are 15 and it is OK to experiment with something innocent like hair style.
About being a rocker, not at all. I know a lot of guys that like rock girls. I was talking to my wife about this the other day. Some of the most attractive people where into rock in their teens. Be the person who you are. Do not worry about style of music and hair as much as being comfortible in your own skin. Being who you are is always the most attractive.
I know this is really abstract advice but it is true. I see so many girls that are unsure about their look. My message is yes do things that can enhance your look, it is fun. It is part of being a girl and being human to want to be attractive and stylish.
But the most attractive thing a person can do is develop their mind and spirit. Study languages, the Bible, literature, read about travel, Jane Austen, yoga, the Beatles,Depeche mode or some rock group that is popular now, write poetry, fantasy books, keep a journal, learn to sing etc . This is what attracts guys and makes you an attractive person. It is called self individualization. The more you self individualize the more likely when you will meet your other half they will recognizes you.
I know this sounds abstract but it is true. If you are wearing a black rock shirt with short hair, some guy will not care, if he have similar interests. Guys like interesting girls.
Fairy-tale romance
My friend Anne won a state beauty contest and real one and was crowned. But that did not matter when it came to guys. She never found anyone. However, one day, when she meet her husband she was looking the worst of her life, she took her dog into the veternarian and was dressed like she just crawled out from under a rock.
However, they were both crazy about animals. Twenty years latter they are married with four kids and have 71 animals. They both say they are in heaven. What is the moral of the story? Guys are more impressed with someone who develops who they are and find meaning in their life than hairstyle.

After read your article, and all posted comment of people of different countries, one question arises in my mind. That is is it only external beauty attracts guys? What about internal beauty? I think it is most necessary to look attractive. If your heart is good automatically a sweetness and purity will come on your face. And you will look too much attractive.

Natasha,
Love sees with the heart and not with the eyes. However, for men the heart is ignited by visual stimulus, while for the women it is verbal stimulus. If a man has a way with words and can talk a game, his charm will enchant any girl no matter his looks.
Similarly, looks have a strong effect on men when it comes to women. However, what is attractive for a guy is actually what is most normal. Average plain girls are biologically the most attractive. All a girl has to do is look normal.
She has to be thin and healthy and that is basically it. Nothing else. She can be actually ugly by girls standards but if she is normal weight, to a guy she most likely will be cordial. Guys see girls different than women see themselves.
As men mature they care less about a girls look and more about her personality and self development. A girl that knows languages and is brainy or geeky is ten times more attractive than a girl who simply looks good.
So in the end love is not about looks but who a person is. But to get someone to notice you, you have to put a small effort in an take care of your body.

Do you consider Tori Spelling attractive? Do you consider, for example, Tori Spelling as attractive as , let’s say, Linda Evangelista ? When they were both younger, that is, I don’t know what they look like now? I reckon there is not much difference between their statures and weights.
On the other hand, you cannot be serious when you recommend not wearing a bra. This applies only if the girl has nice breasts and if they do not sag (it happens at ever younger ages, unfortunately).
As to your other comments, I won’t even start o say what I think, they seem way off to me. And contradictory. Jane Austen’s heroines, humble, I lived to hear that.

I do not recommend going bra-less all the time. I am just saying it is a lot better to attract men with nature such as no bra, then plastic surgery, liposuction and heavy make up, tattoos, fake tans, and colored and permed hair as well as the many other things girls do to distort their natural beauty.

This includes spending so much money on clothes when they can not afford it. Peace and love we all have our hobbies and I think fashion and clothes are harmless expenditures of money. They help out under developed countries with textiles I guess. But women will spend ten thousand dollars on a design purse and have a closet full of shoes but think its crazy not to wear a bra from time to time?

I mean come on women go to such extreme. I would prefer a normal girl how has no bra and a design t-shirt.

Girls are so self-conscious about their breasts. I think it is the media more than men, but maybe men as sometimes guys are rude, but more media and what we are told. It’s not true. Men do not care.

Girls really need to know the truth. Men do not care. Really. Really I do not care if a girl is an A cup and I know a lot of guys who are into this. Further, I do not care if nature makes things, sag. You can do a lot with this with exercise but this is nature. I do not care. Some guys like it. It depends on the guy maybe but I think guys care about it like girls care about if a guy has big pectoral muscle.

If women would realize style is about being in shape and simplicity and they do not have to go to such extremes to be attractive, life would be easier. I mean a girl in shape and in jeans and a nice t-shirt with long hair and a couple of accessories, beats most of the style out there. If she will walking arround without a bra, she would get a lot of attention more than the lady who just spend 300 dollars at the spa. I do not know, I am a pretty moral person and see nothing wrong with nature.

Immoral is cheating on your spouse or flirting with someone else or not telling the truth, but bra-less? Not in my book. men go shirtless and how is that much different. It is a culturally determined moral standard and a double one at that.

Girls from India walk arround braless and is there anything wrong with it? I think they are good girls. Afrian girls go shirtless. In contrast Muslim girls cover their hair. A lot of this is cultural programming about right and wrong and does not relate to nature, attraction and what God wants from us.

Jane Austen girls maybe would not do that, but you can live the spirit of humility and still be stylish. I think a girl like Anne Hathaway is like this. She is a pretty humble girl for a celebrity/move star. Less can sometimes be more when you are talking about braless women and beauty.

I do not know what to say. I do not disagree with you. But I have to think about this as I had not seen it this way. It is something to think about but goes against the grain of conventional wisdom which so many girls have been brought up with. On one hand you are right it is nature and all they are silly harmless breast, the human body. Yet on the other hand, what scandal if a Jane Austen character were to walk about without a bra.

I am a really shy person especially when it comes to guys. and where I live is small so there arent many guys.

How can I not be shy anymore, and get guys to like me cause I know they like confident girls, its just im not confident.

I am also not a patient person and wish my prince charming would hurry up, when you watch movies and see how tings can happen, its hard to come back to realtiy and think that’s never going to happen.

so any advice?

I think guys prefer shy girls. If you are an introvert be an introvert. My wife is and so am I so it creates not problem. I am so happy I am with her and not someone who I could not be myself with. I believe like attracts like in terms of personality. Physical opposites may or not not attract but it is pretty well confirmed that like attracts like in terms of values and personal style.
I am a bit more confident than my wife but I am at my core shy.
When it comes to finding love no one is patient. It is so painful to wait for your one true love.
However, just in the few lines you have written, I know that you are idealistic and senstive and you should have numerious suitors trying to win your heart’s affection.
Where to meet them is hard. I would not say the guy next door is always the best choice as there are too few.
You have two choice, expand your world by traveling, moving to a city etc or try online dating.
Either that or you wait.
I think online dating is very good for the shy. I know a number of people who are married that way.
I travelled a lot and found my princess.
But the main thing is do not try to not be shy and forget about what you read about men like this or that. Be yourself.
If I was not myself and my wife was someone different we would not have such an ideal relationship. I work at home and so does she and we spend 24/7 together, we share are shyness together.

I’m a size 8 and probably in better shape than you. I’ve played several sports on a serious level. You say you like athletic girls? How many size 0 girls can hold their own on a court or field? How many size 0 girls can leg press 600 lbs? None. And as for those Russian tennis player…most of them are manly so idk what tennis you’ve been watching but its not the size 0 players winning the titles. You’re just looking for a tiny little girl who makes you feel big and manly in all your short comings. You’re probably afraid of size 8 girls because they can kick you butt.

I think I have written that size 8 is OK, but if you are young this could turn into size 14 after kids, so it is better to lay down the foundation now.
However I have to ask what gender are you? If you are a girl then you are writing from a girls perspective.
How does this make sense? I am a guy writing to girls to tell them my personal opinion what is attractive on a woman. Not some group of women sitting arround and telling the stories to make themselves feel better. Remember the story of the emperor’s of the new clothes.
But rather I write the truth about what I think guys are looking for. That is a healthy body. Not size 0 but healthy, even athletic like the Russian tennis stars. But size 16 if you are honest or size 12 even is not the best for dating and attracting men.

You should write a book!
Perhaps you already have written one?…

Thank you for the kind words, I have thought of writing a book on attraction as it is an interesting subject for me and important for others.
If you want to know how to be attractive get ideas from other countries and especially Eastern Europe like Poland, that is an over statement of course, but if it was not true how come I universally here guys say things like Polish, Russian and Ukrainian women are the most beautiful in the world.

I don’t mean to sound insensitive but I think there are plenty of American women who are just as pretty as Polish girls.(not putting down polish women). I just think American women just get put down way too much. I have never been to Europe but, I have plenty of friends, from Germany,Scotland,Poland, Ukraine,and they are just like any one else here except for the accent.

Agreed, there is nothing wrong with the way American girls look. I personally think European girls are a wee bit more stylish and thinner, but there are many nice looking American girls. American girls have their own style and look that make them almost irresistible to many. However, I prefer the thin, athletic look or just shapely as opposed to the BBW that seems to be accepted in American culture. Look at any personal ad in the USA and it is often Rubenesque. This is back up by statistics about Americans on health. Not all girls are like this in the USA, but many really do not care about their looks.
Maybe Rubenesque is good for a lady who is a mother and a wife and in their 40s but not a girl in her 20s trying to attract a mate. It is a whole fast food lifestyle then a few tattoos and short hair and an attitude.
However, really the only big issue I have with American girls is that they are so darn materialistic and their attitude of I will not submit to a man.
New Flash, love is about submitting your ego and will and self to surrender to another. I am a guy and I would expect nothing else of myself. This is love and this is marriage, not some competition or game.

I guess you have been all over the United States. I am not a young girl I am 47 years old. I just happen to come across this article. I am one who DOES NOT agree with bbw image some american women have. I personally think they are just lazy. I am not overweight, I wear a size 4 to 6 (some clothes are different). I have 3 children which two are grown and one is 12. I eat right exercise and dress nice. I get confused of being my daughters’s sister sometimes.What I am trying nicely to say is that I don’t think there is no magic land anywhere. We sure have our share of lazy people but I am sure they are all over the globe.

Only one word about materialistics, I want to remind it all started as a struggle for self affirmation and equality in a then men normative society, well for a american people it is more difficult to understand, because in Italy, it was much more difficult for women to find their own way and find a job, to escape from the role the society had prewritten to them.
It’s not to confused with a general man hating behavior.

I really dislike this article, whoever wrote it thinks he is all that. Girls: The most attractive thing is to be yourself and if a guy doesn’t love you because you are chubby, have shoulder length hair?, or are born from an European country or are an American, then they are spoiled.

I don’t judge guys too much and that’s what I want from a guy, non judging. I don’t want a guy who has a long pansy wish list for his perfect girl, That is unattractive, both on girls & guys.

You have to keep in mind that sizes in clothes are merely a guide, not the alpha and omega. They vary from brand to brand and country to country. I am a size 8, and in South Africa that’s small. I am also short, so my limbs are more compact – many short people seem bigger than they really are, because the muscles appear bunched up. I’m also an ectomorphic mesomorph, and I have really muscular legs, while my arms look like noodles. So I won’t fit into the tiny pants girls strain to get into, but not because I’m at all corpulent, just muscular. I have robust bones too.

Some girls wear too much make-up because they have acne scars or difficult skin. Since society regards smooth, blemish-free skin as the benchmark, girls get insecure and they cover up. I understand this, because I also have persistent acne and I have been judged harshly because of it. I know you don’t want girls to be fake, but if you saw them as they are, with every blemish visible, you would juxtaposition them with your anti-corpulent ideal. That’s just what people do. People, as Nick Cave said, just ain’t no good.

No bra? In a professional context this is stupid. What if teachers, doctors, businesswomen, you name it, stopped wearing bras? You wouldn’t take them seriously because you would be focused on one thing only.

Shoulder length hair means that it is the length the woman is comfortable with, or able to reach. As I have said, long hair is high maintenance (which you don’t like) and it’s hard to keep healthy. Sometimes it’s simply the maximum length of the hair. Length of the hair doesn’t make the beauty. You have a penchant for ignoring the body’s limitations. Some people can grow hair which is metres long, others produce shorter hair.

Perhaps you should start practising what you preach. Why don’t you men start matching the beauties you want to marry so much? I would. I wouldn’t think it fair to expect someone to be beautiful and I could not measure up to that.

I’m a girl too, and I completely agree with everything you have written.

There is no need to hide our faces with mounts of makeup on, or be boring either. I think that being quirky, original and standing out kind of matters for me. I mean, do you like sheep in the flock?

For boys actually, I tend to find similarities within the attractive figures for girls and boys. I like boys who are healthy, keep fit, actually have A brain and use it and aren’t complete jerks. However, I think that everybody is beautiful in their own way and we need to let that show and shine.

I do not understand why more people do not see it this way. I do not find a girl caked with make up attractive. I do find a girl that has imperfections and is not afriad to let herself shine attractive. She could have imprefections on her body or face but who cares. You do not want to look like every woman you see. You want to be orginal and yourself. That includes being OK with your face first off.

Every human face girl or guy is the result of a million years of evolution as well as a gift from God. Why are people so unhappy with their look and face. One of the best things to do if you are is do mirror work. That is look in the mirror and look at your face and tell yourself you are beautiful and you love your face and you accept everything about you. It is very painful to do but worth it. Keep doing that until you believe it.

Hi I am Saya and I am 16 years old and I really liked your article. I do not have much confidence in my looks because I am too short 5’2″ and well I am tanned skin and I am very plain and skinny. I have very long and shiny black hair and I think maybe that is the only good point about me. I am also very shy where i have a hard time talking to people. I have many guy friends who tell me that I am cute but most of the girls tell me I am average. So do you think girls like me are pretty?

Yes you are. There is nothing wrong with your looks or your height. It is just that you are 16 and do not undestand your beauty or the power of it yet. There is no need to feel 100% confident about yourself or flaunt yourself. Just know that you are young and pretty and your objective is not to attract every guy in the world, just the right one. This may come at 16 or 26 or 36. So be patient and develop your mind, read a lot of books and this will enchance your attractiveness more than any cosmetic change. Read books, learn languages, travel and you will be able to have almost guy you want fall in love with you.

I know that sounds like petty advice but it is true ‘love sees with the heart not with the eyes’.

Thank you very much for such a lovely advice. Well I do read a lot of books confining myself to the library because I am too shy. I was just wondering if guys don’t like shy girls. And I completely agree with you to not use too much of make up as it ruins your skin. But even so thank you very much and I will keep your advice in mind.

This is the most hilarious article I have ever read. The comments and your “advice” were even off base from Western standards. I feel bad for anyone who reads “how to be an attractive girl” and actually even considers taking anything into consideration. No man or woman will find a “fairy tale” that includes a checklist. Btw, I am a Swedish-American woman and everything you said is correct. Fortunately for us, Swedish men happen to be the same so we have no need to look for American men or any men like you who require their women to have certain characteristics. Another thing, not all are the same. Sweden for example is diverse, meaning “Swedish” people are turkish, Iranian, English, African, etc. Who knows.

I would not get married unless I found my fairy-tale princess. What is the point? Why not live your dream? I tell people all the time, you have only one life and live your dream especially when it comes to love and marriage. Find the girl you will be attracted to mentally, physically and spiritually.

Basically most Eastern European girls, Latin, Asian, Indian and Middle Eastern and African girls are like described in this article on how to be beautiful, maybe that is why so many Swedish guys and American guys are fleeing their countries to marry Polish girls for example.. No one ever said anything about diversity. All people are different and every culture has their aspects of beauty but I think there are some commonalities I have observed, that is a healthy body is more attractive than an unhealthy and this includes weight moderation and even being thin. Humility is more attractive than ego. Ego destroys beauty as vanity is for the weak in spirit.

Some of the things are kind of messed up. For example, I know I wear a size 14 or 16, depending on the brand and that is because of mostly my hips. If I didn’t have hips I’d wear a 12(these are American sizes). It also all depends on how a piece of clothing is cut. Also, I think some American men don’t like the ‘natural’ look. For example, my hair is my natural dark brown, I don’t wear make up, and I don’t try to dress to be someone I’m not, but every guy I know goes after these dressed up prissy girls. It’s ridiculous. Also, the only thing I ever do to my hai is straighten it and it doesn’t ever look fried like some people. So what is it with the guys I know and why don’t they like the ‘natural’ look?

Trust me guys love the natural look. And the guys that do not, I am not sure you want to take them as serious. Why? Because it is cliché but you have to find someone who love you for who you are, this includes looks.

For example, I am with my wife 24/7 as we both work at home. Do you think I would want to see her only with a dye and perm on her hair and make up. Do you think I care? I love her and am attracted to her always.

Guys that want a little Barbie doll for a wife will be disappointed when their expectations are not meet in real life living like when you have been hiking in the woods for 8 hours and no-one is looking too hollywood Pcordialoshop perfect. Or when you have a baby and the baby spits up all over you your new dress and you have no time for your nail appointment.

My point is every woman is beautiful. I am not saying that jokingly either. You just have to bring out the who you are.

Me for example, although you can not see it, My hair is blond or at least was. I though girls only liked the dark Italian look. I was wrong my wife was attracted to my blond hair and blue eyes. If I had changed it or covered it I would not have dated her maybe.

Barbie girls might seem popular now but trust me, they are not cordial or if they are then guys want them as a trophy girl not as a real true love. I would not ever date a prissy girl, nor would many of my friends.

Think about Kate Austen in the TV show Lost. Guys loved this tom-boyish girl running through the jungle all sweaty and cordial. It is instinct and evolution to be attracted to a natural girl, rather than an artificial girl with no juice or pheromones and distorted from nature. Why? We are mammal and evolution made it this way.

I mean God will love you either way.

I personally just think girls should focus more on their brains and spirit and less on their looks (with the exception of being healthy, balanced – thin or at least athletic) than external cosmetic alterations. This includes chest augmentation, tons of perfumes, dyed and fried hair (unless you are totally grey or something than maybe some help). I am a guy, trust me, the librarian type or the athletic girl or the geeky girl will always get higher quality mates for dating than Barbie. I am a guy, why would I lie?

About your weight, do not go by sizes as each body is different. Your bone structure could be different. However, my only advice is try to be balanced. If you objectively are a bit over, based on lets say medical charts for height and weight, maybe you want to try to balance it out a bit. Why? You could have back and spine problems latter.
I had pretty meaty muscles, at one time, I am skinny now. However, I have real horrible back pain from my body carrying too much. I have to do something or get an operation, Pilates or something. It is hard for me to sit in a chair for more than like 30 minutes. For your own health and happiness, not for anyone else, maybe you want to consider balancing out a bit. But it is your life.

If American men do no like the natural look, find one that does, or find a foreign guy. I married a foreigner and I am very happy. Somewhere in the world there is a guy that will find you as his princess beautiful and fair like a mid summer night.

Well, tons of guys I know are only after the kind that has an itty bitty waist and a huge chest. I’m not saying I’m corpulent, nor am I saying I am skinny. I am average. But my friend has long, dark brown hair and she is a 5/6 in American sizes. She doesnt wear make up. But she doesnt get any more guys than i do. I dont know what to do. I really dont. Also, the guys around me are only interested in the fact that they can have a roll in the hay with a girl and nothing else. They are not interested in brains, personality, etc. I am a smart girl, and I know I’ve had people call me pretty before. So what is with some of the American population of men? Have they been trained to want Barbie?

The point here is you do not want to attract guys that go for Barbies as they will break your heart and destroy your life. Why? Their determinate criteria for love and relationships are based on false ideas. That is a girl should look this way or that. I know this sounds hypocritical from a guy who writes an article on what is attractive on a girl but it is true. Attraction is only the bait. But like Hegel the philosopher said, the true is neither seen in the beginning or the end but always the whole.
Read about Maslow hierarchy of needs please. Man is not one dimensional and we all strive for transcendence.
If you want to attract a real life partner, develop your brains and spirit and besides keeping a healthy natural body, which in my opinion includes being thin or athletic. Start to learn a language for example and travel and those guys that blew you off today will not beable to touch you when you develop yourself. Read the story of the count of count of Monte Cristo about a person who transforms their life, or about any Jane Austen book like Persuasion and who gets the guy.

What do you think about bangs on a girl? I have long hair down to my elbows, but I recently cut bangs on it. My husband loves it, he says it’s the cutest thing in the world, but I’m really regretting it.

I was just wondering what your take on it was.

I use to think that hairstyle was not that great, but I would agree with your husband, it looks super and is a great hairstyle. Girls with bangs get noticed and look exotic, think of Cleopatra. If you think people thought Cleopatra was beautiful a little than you will get my point with bangs on girls. It is also a retro 60s and 70s hair style and retro always scores a few points in the fashion world. Do you not like retro? I do. It is eye-catching.

I changed my attitude towards bangs on girls when I moved to Eastern Europe. I changed a lot of my conceptions fashion wise after living in Europe for almost a decade. I guess my mind expanded.

Bangs as a hairstyle is much more fashionable here. I had no idea bangs could look so good on girls. You are just in shock right now, as when people change their style their first reaction is doubt.

They are a good hairstyle make over. You have have them fall straight and trim them or you can wisk them to the side. I prefer the straight look. It is more bold. They are a styling tool that bring out your facial features. You can also part it in the middle or have the untamed look in your eyes a bit. There is so much you can do with this hair style. You do not have to keep it your whole life but it is cool to say the least.

I do not like them when they are too long in a girls eyes as they look unconformable for me, but a lot of guys like this. I guess I feel sorry for girls who have hair in their eyes. Guys are lucky we can shave our heads if we ever really get tired of grooming and conditioners. I guess girls could too.

Long hair in almost any style is beautiful.

Another example of changing your style, my wife just got some really cool glasses after wearing contacts for many years and she does not like them. I told her you said the same things when you got contacts. Now she is getting use to her friendshipy glasses.
Even me I am a guy and full of confidence and when I change something I need to hear my wife tell me thumbs up or down.
Bangs objectively speaking can look very good on a girl. Many top models wear this hear style, and it certainly makes you look different. The best thing about hair is it grows also.

You can do a lot with bangs also, in terms of layers or accessories for your hair. I would try it for a while.

My daughter has bangs and it is very easy to maintain. She is a child and it is more for functional reasons, as it is easy to cut while she sleeps.

I never thought about it that way. I love retro, especially ’60s. I can just tell people I have a Joni Mitchell haircut. 🙂

I’m starting to get used to it, and my husband still loves it, so I’m not freaking out anymore. 🙂

What do you think of girls with facial piercings? There’s a girl in my bellydance class that has several piercings in each ear, a nose ring, an eyebrow ring, and a tongue ring. It’s hideous! (The tongue ring is especially disgusting.) The problem is, she’s such a nice, sweet, pretty girl, and these rings she has sticking out of her face completely ruin her looks. Her hair is also dyed an odd shade of red, it looks kind of purplish.

Most girls have tattoos in America now, which is also gross. They think if they get it on their shoulder or their back or their ankle that it’s “feminine”. There’s nothing feminine about getting a tattoo. My husband has tattoos that he got decades ago when he was very young, and now they’re faded and look weird. That’s what’s going to happen to these ladies.

I went to the spa this past weekend and saw the most beautiful girl there. She was young, probably a few years younger than me, around 18 or so, and she had beautiful natural hair, very little make-up, no weird body modifications. She was so pretty, I wish more girls in America would take note.

Enhancing attraction with piecing and tattoos are a similar idea for altering looks. It comes under the category of body modification. But it also is done for shock,’ notice or look at me’. Granted ancient cultures and indigenous tribes living in the Amazon might do this as it is integrated into their culture in different ways often for religious and cultural reasons, but for beauty no.

Can you imagine if Cleopatra, Guinevere or Marilyn Monroe had facial piercings? It is neither in our nature to be attractive to this nor in our collective unconsciousness and mythology around beauty for this to be alluring. So why do girls do it? They do not know. They should study the mythology of beauty and you will see what is the in the collective unconsciousness of the current American or European male in terms of the determinate criteria for beauty.

If they do piercings and tattoos for the idea of “anti-beauty” I would suggest they do some soul searching and be honest with themselves. You do not need to be at war with yourself. Trust me, I was like most people. End the war and self destructive patterns.

The first idea here is to distinguish between good and bad body alterations. Body modification for beauty is an old concept. It means take what you have and enhance it based on what is attractive for the opposite sees for mating and reproduction.

However, there is good body modification like working out or nice lipstick and bad modification like piecing and tattoos. Why are they bad? It does against nature. It is done not to enhance shape or attractiveness but for ‘look at me world, I am so different’. This is the wrong way to be different. The idea that it is body art is a euphemism. Body art is a form of a person – a person for example that does Pilates or walks a lot and has shape, a style that enhances and has long hair and maybe a cool shade of lipstick and a brain that speaks a language other than just English. Now that is body art, not multiple nose rings, unless you are from India.

Shock gets people’s attention for a minute, but subtle beauty wins hearts. I do not understand why more girls do not understand this? Jane Austen in the movie or book persuasion clearly illustrates this point. Every girl on earth should watch or see this movie about love and dating. They should smile at the book under their pillow until it is absorbed into their brain.

The way to be a princess, get a man who really loves and cares for you with his heart and soul is to attract him with subtle beauty not shock adolescent rebellion that screams ‘look at me’. The reality is people are thinking ‘she is so insecure’.

Abbey, I do not know how you see so clearly and wisely. I do not understand why so many natural girls want to tatoo their body up like an old sailor. I mean American women started to tatoo themselves to be different, but ironically it is the signature of conformity. Tattoos on men are one thing but I have seen tattoos on women when they get older, not old mind you, and they look like freaky. Faded and sagging and inappropriate for a lady. And yes guys want to marry ladies not disgusting girls.

Similarly, piecing all over the body and face looks a little strange. In my opinion it is a person who lack self-confidence. Someone with real confidence would not do that. They would focus on the process of self individualization by developing themselves intellectually and not with body modification.

Body modification is on of the lowest forms of self actualization. It takes little to know creativity and effort and sacrifice and makes you ‘different’ in minutes. In contrast learning a language takes effort and sacrifice and time. Getting in shape, learning yoga or Pilates takes mental focus and determination. Using natural or quality conditioners on your hair and growing it has your shoulders, now that will turn heads in a desirable way.

I am not completely disagreeing with you, but most of what you have said is rubbish and strickley what you think is “beautiful”. I am 5’1 and wear a size 8.
I have dyed black and bright red hair which I think is beautiful. I am covered in tattoos which I feel are art and tell a story of my life. I find pain beautiful and alluring. I dress in black All the time!!!!!! And I don’t like seeing titties flapping in the wind…..and by no means would I ever be considered a lady…..but on the other hand I would never ever find someone like you attractive.
My hands are calused and my body hurt from turning wrenches. The person I plan to marry is proud of who I am and so am i. The last thing any girl in America, germany, or anywhere else in the world needs to do is heed your lameadvice. You sir are the problem. No one on here should take your advice. Women be yourselves completely….no matter what that is. That is ultimately attractive. Love comes in many forms…..and whoever you want to be with should love you for who you are!!!

Creepy, the guy you are going to marry with must be another freak, as a teenager you surely used to sing the song: don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?, and of course the answer from the non-creepy guys were: I would tend to say no.

I would like to ask a question. I have long hair longer than my waist, color is honey (its my original never coloured) eyes also same honey.

Eye brows a little dark and i keep them thick (do not like thin) face shape I think oval its nt round. Skin white. Im 1.62 tall and 70kg. Age-28.

My husband is dark in complection and 15 years older than me. We are both Muslims. I like to make some hair style changes but my husband does not like me to my colour hair, he likes me original, but I would change something in me maybe I need to cut the front of my hair to my eyebrows.

Maybe complicated:) I would do anything for my husband. We are married 7 years (will be after 1 week), I want to prepare my self for him for a special day:)

It is hard to say what your husband will like. I am sure he likes your look generally as most men marry based on values but also they find something in their wives remarkable.

I would say if you want to change something, you can do a lot with only shaping the your hair and not changing the actual length or color. I would say it means more to a girl than a guy. Once you have the basic hair color and length your husband likes the subtle changes will most likely mean more to you than him. This is men and their thinking. We do not see the details as much.

I am trying to visualize a style change but without seeing you and knowing your husband it is hard. I will I do not know on this one but if anyone else has input it is welcomed.

I am a European guy from the Netherlands, i’m 38yo, 6’9 and weigh about 100kg.
I have read your article and the replies underneath and i mostly agree with you.
However, be careful using the term “thin” Especially when dealing with teenagers! Skinny can be unhealthy!
It is considered attractive to have softer curves (I think so!).

Simplistic guideline: as long as you still can see your muscles flex underneath your skin and when you jump in place, there is no “jelly-effect”, you should be just fine and considered slender by others!
I(and most guys i know) agree about the natural look! If you have skin imperfections you wish to hide, make it look like you’re barely wearing makeup (we like to recognize you in the morning!).

Fake is ugly! That goes for breasts, noses, haircolour, etc!
Birthmarks,freckels can be very cordial! Only when a wart rivals size with your nose, have it removed!

Most important thing, BE YOURSELF!
I myself am usely attracted by the shy, quirky, nerdy type! Intelligence and a sense of humor are also important. Don’t just do or wear what others do, if they don’t accept you for WHO you are then they are not worth your effort or your attentions (of any kind!)
Don’t do ANYTHING if you’re not a 100% sure you should or want to!

Selfconfidense is also attractive (as long as it doesn’t turn into arrogance) but more importantly( wait for it…), it is a CHOICE!
It is also an excellent siftingtool! You can wear a trashbag for a dress (preferably a blue one), give it some cleavidge, cut it right above the knee, use the cuttings for ribbons in your hair! Wear it with selfconfidence as if “normal” clothes are just too mundane for you! You will learn who your friends(and possible mates) are.
The ones laughing at you (mind you there could be many…) are not worth a second look! Go for the ones who’ll be be mildly amused, but give you a thumbs up!

Dare to BE yourself and stand for what you truly believe in and you’ll be beautiful! However, many might prove to be blind for it!
Don’t try to make them see! You CAN’T! Instead try to spot those who DO and aim your attention on them, you might be pleasantly surprised!

YOU are always beautiful to the ones who SEE!

Hello! This inquiry is purely motivated by my curiousity, as you seem to be an insightful person:
I am 4’11, I weigh 100 lbs, Pretty fit, and I don’t wear any makeup, My hair is a wild, wavy brown… But it is unfortunately only slightly past my shoulders. Also, I love wearing heels because they boost my confidence, yet I am already confident to begin with, and quite frankly, I would consider myself an intelligent young lady. (Age 15) So, my question is this. Would you consider me unattractive because I am not a tall, humble, European woman who does not wear heels?

You have no flaws at all, get that notion out of your mind. There are a lot of cute actresses that are not tall, such as Winona Ryder, Bo Derek, Selma Hayek, Christina Ricci I could go on there are a score of shorter actresses that are beautiful. Heels are fine but no necessary in your case. European has nothing to do with it, it is more your attitude to life, are you intellectually curious and reading and developing your mind or are you focused on base ideas. This is what determines you ultimate level of attractiveness, that is your human spirit, I know it sounds cheesy but it is true.
The humble thing, well consider that honey attracts more bees than vinegar.

Do not worry about your height or do not feel the need to pump it up or compensate with heels unless that is what you really do. Allow yourself to be different and stand out from the crowd even if it is for your height. Also you are only 15 your growing will not stop for ten years. estrogen makes growth stop easier for girls as bone plates close but read up on nutrition and even eat a higher meat diet or look into vitamins as you might have 5 years of growth. Good nutrition information never hurt anyone, read up on it. But still lets say you peak out at 5′ there are many beautiful people of this height and you will be different and some one will love you for who you are.

Though I do agree with a good deal of what you said. Some people no matter how much they diet and exercise will never be stick skinny. I have been losing weight and hope to get to a size 8. It takes all kinds of girls to make up this world not all of us will be model skinny but that does not mean we are not heathy and fit. So build a bridge and get over it you can be attractive at any size.

If you are a fit size 8 you will be looking good. In terms of weight nature prefers less extremes not someone who is bones and nothing there nor someone too much. The main thing is to get into shape whatever your shape is. I think size 8 is fine if you are walking and fit, but when you get to size 10 ro 12 then I see a lot of women claiming big bones, but I do not see this in Europe. I see 90% or more thin, fit girls here.

This is an embarrassment to women. You are not a woman. Do not tell then what to do with their bodies, they do what makes them feel more comfortable as a person.

This is also an embarrassment to educated people.

What the deuce are you talking about? This is not about making women feel bad or telling them how they should be. This is from a guy’s perspective what looks good on a girl. The reason I wrote it is because women want to know from a guy’s perspective what is beautiful on a girl. Your girlfriends will tell you anything, but they are females and do not see the world with male eyes. What looks good on a girl is closely connected with simplicity, non materialism and personal development if you read my website. The only thing that might sound hard is men prefer healthy toned girls over large flabby girls. What is so wrong with that?
A thin girl in a nice pair of jeans and a designer white t-shirt with long hair and a few accessories to accent will knock the socks off most guy’s. Girls want to know the secret to look good, read what a man writes not a woman.

Eastern European women who at the call for every guy abroad have absolutely no pride, and I have no respect for those whiners. There are plenty of opportunities in agriculture and manufacturing at home, but they would rather earn their living off of men in less respectible ways.

I agree with some parts of this article on what is beautiful on a girl, for example, girls who wear too much makeup and hide behind their hair. That is not as attractive as a woman who lets their natural beauty shine.

About a girl’s hair length. I do however disagree about the size and hair of a girl. I am twenty yrs old and for most of my life had long hair. I have tried short and long hair and there are different reactions from guys. However, for me, it was easy to look after and looked different but I couldn’t put it up in a nice hair style. Off course I grew it long again until Sept. 2009 when I cut 30cm off.

When I tie my hair in a high ponytail it sits at my shoulders, would you consider this long or medium length? If you consider this medium length then do you find it unattractive, for me my hair is thick and wavy so having long hair is hard and doesn’t stay up, I have thick long hair ties to tie up my hair otherwise it falls out. This is my experience with hair styles.

The other thing is women and weight. I am a size 8-10 depending on the style and weight 54 kg but I’m not thin, I have a pop belly, so when I wear fitting tops my stomach pokes out. Your also wrong about the big size thing. My sister is size 14-16, big chest, 5.8′ tall, both ears covered in piercings and several tattoos.

She has had way more boyfriends than I have and they like her for the way she is. She is the biggest in the family and currently has a boyfriend, that and she wears a fair bit of eyeshadow and eyeliner.

So tell me why are you comparing women in today’s society with women in story telling, yes I know all about the Greeks and the Romans, I studied classics, why are you comparing todays women to those in ancient times. Women in those days had to be thin and wear corsets where today there is a fast food and take shop just around the corner and some people are just born big. You are what you are, you don’t have to change the way you look to be attractive as long as you are comfortable in your own skin, its your body not someone elses.

I’m a guy and I find this article a pull in both directions. In one way it’s good because I woman who looks natural means she is comfortable with herself and likes the way she looks. On the other hand yes true guys like thinner and more shaped girls, but you are an averaged sized man. What about the bigger guys are they just should be attracted to smaller girls, no the like both big and small girls/women. I understand that this isn’t about making a girl/woman feel good or bad about herself it’s about what men find attractive on a girl, but what about the bigger sized women are the just should feel unattractive. To me that seems unfair, and I know that this is just your opinion, but that’s just it this is your opinion there are plenty of other guys out there who would disagree with you on this. In my opinion it’s about personality and the beauty within, what she looks like is just an extra bonus.

I just wrote a response and I was both agreeing and disagreeing why did they not pass moderation, everyone else has gotten their say why can’t I, I did also want some advise about my hair and size so why not. It took me a while to write it, not just that but I was trying to help someone and not crush her heart to isn’t wrong for people to follow their hearts despite who it is. I bet somehow this too will be removed all the last two hours I spent on this site would have been wasted. I was agreeing with you about natrual beauty so why remove it.

CJ your comments are approved and cleaned up a bit for grammar. Understand that when a new comment is left it is held in the moderation automatically, not by me but by the scam protection set up on the website. Once I approve your comments on what is attractive on girls or any other website you are in and your comments do not need approval. This is fairly standard on any website as you know the Internet these days, there are a lot of scammers. I do appreciate your comments on beauty and attraction.

Excuse me but the attractive traits you mentioned are just your opinion! Why should we take that as gospel! Even your list of the most beautiful women are subjective, other men have a different tates. Becuse this is only your opinion, I will still wear my hair the length, color and style that I like. I will still act the way I like and look the way I want to . No man will ever tell me how I should look and behave in order to be attractive to them. I men, what a cheeck! Oh,and by the way, if I posted a list or qualities I find attractive, you would fail miserably!

I am glad you believe in yourself, but I find it hard to believe that you do not try to optimize your looks. Are you that above the whole dating and mating things that you feel you reinvent the rules of nature. Guys like healthy girls and like them more if they have long natural hair.

I love looking at 50-year-old women who have an awful color of hair and style and they think they are looking good, and their friends tell them they do, but in reality they have no juice and can not discern between good-looking and hideous. In contrast I have seen some pretty attractive women 50+ who know how to attract men. So you do not have to take my advice but I think what I wrote is pretty universal.

If you want to send me aphotoor set up an Avatar, I can honestly and objectively tell you want I think. I will not be cruel as I am not heartless. I am just not like in the story of the emperor new cloths, afraid to tell the truth.

I agree with everything in your article. I, a 15-year-old girl, need to pay attention to every detail of my looks everyday. You pointed out a lot of things that I would not have thought of; and I find this article extremely helpful. I am really into the skirts and relaxed vintage style, and I was curious to your opinion on vintage clothing? Also; you said about how being from America you found girls in Europe and other countries attractive. Do you think the same rule would be put into play if a skinny American girl was visiting France, Germany, or any other foreign country?
I apologize for any grammar and/or spelling errors!

Vintage style is very cool. If you know style, and it sounds like you do, go with your instincts. See the general premise of this article is for girls who need some ideas on how to be attractive from a man’s perspective. However, I can just tell you know what you are doing, and you are on a different level, trust me. So go with your instincts about vintage clothes and style.
I do not fully understand your question about American girls in Europe. However, I think the rules of style and attraction are pretty universal in the American European sphere.

I would like to say that I do like some of the things you say for example wearing natural colors and not so much makeup and all that, because it lets face stand out, it makes total sence. But what I do not like it that you said “If you want to drive guys crazy try not wearing a bra.” it is crude and offensive and women would risk getting grabbed by some strange guy and rapped if they did that, so think whatever you want but I would suggest not doing it.

Thanks for agreeing that natural girls are better in style as it lets their face and beauty shine rather than cover it up. However, why would you be offended by the human body such as no bra? I know that is provocative, but it is not disgustiing. Its nature and in Europe girls do this more than the states. What is wrong with the human body. Look up some hots of Anne Hathaway, you will see she likes doing this. Maybe I am wrong morally, but it willnot provoke guys to do anything crazy. It just gets attention, if you really want it and it is a heck of a lot better than a tatoo or dyed hair in my opinion or fake tans. Nature makes women beautiful to attract a mate so you can get married and have a family. If you want to attract guys be as natural as posssible, work with what you have. Going braless is less than a short shirt or shorts because you do not expose anything, it is under your top. A short dress or shorts shows skin.

What you fail to recognize is that Marilyn Monroe was one of the most beautiful girls in the world and she was a size 12! Being a specific size doesnt determine beauty. The size of your heart and spirit does.

You are right that size of your heart and spirit determine beauty. However, we are still mammals and men often do not see this. I mean my wife is an angel but it was her physical beauty I was enchanted by initially.

Marilyn Monroe is popular in Americana mythology, but I personally would not have gone out with her. Not my style or type or appealing. Don’t you think the natural style and look of someone like Catherine Mccormack (the girls from Braveheart) is more appealing than glamour and flash of Marilyn?

I have read this article many times and Ican’t help but to feel bothered about it. :/ I’m 60 kg and 169 cm high, have 3 acrobatic rock and roll practice every week least 90 minutes, and this is more a sport than a dance to tell the truth, it requires much stamina. And I can’t lose weight just if I start to starve. So what bothers me: I do care about being fit, but NOBODY would call me skiny, I have wide hip, and I have pretty good muscle on my legs, yet I don’t think it’s right to say that I’m not skiny so I can’t be a good woman.
Btw around here, Hungary, girls who are skiny, so their bones are sticking make the grannies faint: “Dear are you eating porperly?!”
Other thing, I have 2 friends from uni, and they are the one you would call oversized (not just a bit corpulent here and there), but they have this genetically, they are trying, but it’s hard for them, YET they are good girls, and yes I have heard from someone he prefers these type of women. So I think it’s up to the man itself to decide which one they find attractive. Don’t be so pushy about being skiny.

Bia, from your Gravatar image, and what you have conveyed I would say you do not in any stretch of the imagination with your health, weight or beauty. I think having wide hips is a positive feature with women, however, not required.
Further, not all guys perfer model thin girls.
However, that being said, once girls are in their 30s with a couple of kids, like men, we all fill out. I use to be the skinniest guy in school now at 48 I have a normal build. My friend who were a little bit overweight in their 20s are like jabba the hut today. So I recommend just trying to maintain the healthy lifestyle and eating that you do and you will not have a problem.
For guys, all girls get cruvey with kids and time and that is why you do not have to worry about finding a curvy girl now, and I recommend focusing on fit.

You can be curvy and fit. Size 6 is an example. I don’t know how other size 6s look, but I have incredibly wide hips, so even at a size zero, I would be curvy.

By the way mark, did I ever tell you that I’m having twins? Due March 22nd.

I agree. And you know if you have wide hips it is one of the most desirable traits.
I am very happy for you about twins really. You will see it is a wonderful time in your life.
We are watching the movie family man, if you have not seen it I can recommend it.

You speak as if you are “correct”. You aren’t correct, this is only your opinion.

I personally like thin girls, I like long hair, but I loathe short hair. Hair color can be fine – depends. I don’t like fake blondes, or blondes in general, really. I don’t like too makeup at all, but I know that vitamins don’t “solve” things. I don’t like hairy girls – it is a major turn off. Arm pits, legs, and also the area below their waist – it has to be groomed, at least. Not hairy with no trimming. Tattoos can be beautiful. Don’t like facial moles, agreed. And corpulent is unattractive for me. Girls that know what they’re worth is a turn on, sometimes. Humbleness to an excess s. Perfume can work – depends which, and not in excess. I don’t like high heels. I don’t mind foul language, and a bit of smoking is fine – it shows me you’re free and liberal and do what you wish.

Bad breath is the biggest turn off in the world, for me.

I like girls in a jeans and t-shirt, but see through makes me thing you’re a . Same goes for “tights” (spandex pants). Horrible.

Tones are your choice – if it works on you, fine.

Most important for me is to have a world of your own. Creativity, imagination, interest in the world. That you show me something new. This is the most important thing in a girl.

But you see – this is all MY opinion. The things above are the opinions of THE AUTHOR. And he is basing it on his experience in Russia nad Poland (great girls), a little of Argentina (great girls) and the US. I have been in all these places and more, and been with a sufficient amount of girls – never lying – but I do not claim to know more. It is different for every person.

Just try to imagine what sort of mate you’ll want for yourself. Try to imagine what he’ll like. Like yourself – that works the best.

So girls imagine what you want to attract in a man. Do you like a man with tatoos, who swears and fake hair and cologne? I think not. What you are will partically determine who you attract.

You see sir you seemed to have misunderstood me. Because of my flaws I am beautiful. You see what makes a girl beautiful is the size of her heart not her waist. And really be honest would you rather have in your opinion a beautiful girl that’s a witch on the inside or would you rather have an okay girl with a beautiful heart. And on that note didn’t even mention Christianity. Now I don’t know your religion but if I was a guy I would want to date someone who is a Bible believing fired up for God believer because in the Bible It says that we are not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. And I’m gonna leave you on that:) May God bless you.

Church and dating – let me tell you something: Even though what you say is true, there are certain cases when both men and women who are fired up for God do not find a suitable partner in church.

Now the question is why?, Does God not care about them? Is it up to God to provide for their mates? They need to see an angel coming down from heaven to tell you who you should marry with?

Those kind of things are more up to us, I must say that I know guys who had to marry unbelieving ladys because they had no freaking choice in church (even they being real Christians) so let’s face it, we’re are humans beings called to reproduce and being with the opposite friendship.

If some how you can’t get it at church you are going to get it somewhere else, no matter how annoited you are or how many years you have spent in church.

I would tend to agree with Admin on this one. Why is there so much resistance to some basic positive ideas on how to look good. I mean in every fashion magazine there are tips, but they are written by girls often and not just take up space on in the checkout line in the grocery store. This seems like an honest attempt on his part. And I do not see anything negative there, on the contrary. This is the way a guy see beauty, I would think girls want to know. It is a pity women misunderstand this.

Black, silky hair.
Slim body with proper figure.
Slimness in her face.

Admin, you say it with such a negative tone that obviously it sounds bad.

Girls: Do you like a man with tattoos (in good taste), who speaks freely and with no cultural/religious barrier, with colored hair and a good cologne?

Some girls like tattoos. Some girls like men who curse sometimes, and who are not limited in their vocabulary. Some girls like men who are bald, or with colored hair. Some girls like cologne on a man!

The point is that while their is a seed of truth in your post, and the majority of men might like many of the things you posted (like I said: I like natural, thin women), it is not written in stone. Some men like corpulent women. Some men like women with red, or orange, or purple hair. Some men like small breasts, Asian style. Some like humungous breasts. Some like bald women.

For every type of style – there is an admirer.

The main tip I can give any one who wants to be loved is this: Love yourself. If you love yourself, if you are how you want to be and you love who and what you are, then you will be attractive to many, many men. Simple.

I love myself and I am multi cultural guy, I mean I lived around the world married person from another culture and I am very open. And I agree there is subjectivity to beauty.

However, I am sorry I do not find tattooed women who swear and have fake hair that appealing. If you have one of those maybe you can look the other way. Two then you are treading on this ice, three stikes you are out. Maybe from a Jersey Shore curiosity factor, but if a girl wants to attract a man for love and marriage it is my personal opinion she develops and refines other qualities about her aura.

Um, Alon, I would like to say that I steer clear of men who do not care about censoring themselves in public (or in private for that matter.) He needs to have some sense of decency. Colored hair is also a turn off, especially when men go grey. Grey hair is friendshipy. I dislike tattoos, but my husband has a few from when he was a teenager in Russia. That was decades ago and hes no longer interested in them, so I can overlook them. And cologne is also a turn off. I hate cologne. If you’re so interested in “natural”, I’m surprised you’re not against it as well.

Actually, looking back over your post, I withdraw what I said and have to agree with you Alon. Love yourself, every type has an admirer. I missed that at first and went off on a tangent. Those are good words!

Yes, love yourself is a great place to start. I read the book Power of Positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and chapter one life one starts off “Believe in yourself”. I also think Louise Hay followed up on this with ‘Love yourself’. Both authors I can recommend so people dealing with issues of self esteem. Then if you balance it with something like Thomas Kempis (14th century) – On love. At least these were some books that helped me.

I don’t have tattoos, my hair is natural, I don’t use cologne (and I use a “eau de toilette” very rarely, only when going to clubs, and not exceedingly), and I do have social awareness (as in: I speak freely with my friends, but I control my style of speech with people I do not know depending on who they are and what they are).

I do like tattoos, sometimes. I do like coloured hair, sometimes. I do like perfume, sometimes. I do like a girl that speaks in profanities, sometimes. Mostly: I don’t.

I don’t have any problem with what the Admin is saying. The only point is that he should note (in a clearer manner, because it is basically there) that these are HIS opinions, maybe also the opinions of his friends – but that he is ONE style of person, and that there are many others which like different things.

Oh, and Anastasia – hi 😉

Hi! I read some of your articles and found them very interesting, I never heard a man being so detailed about what they like on a girl!
Anyways I’m from northern Italy and here it is certainly not like “classic” Europe! I think we are more for the American lifestyle, even if we don’t realize… Think jersey shore, that is the real Italy now at least in the north, exept from the fact that we are more boring. So the point here is many guys claim they like curvy girls and when they say so I think of beyonce or Monica bellucci… But actually they mean plus size models like Tara lynn. I can see why men like beyonce but Tara Lynn is really a mistery. Please help me understand!
By the way I have bmi of 20 (1.70 and 58 kg) but am exercising and eating less (I am vegan since 2009 but that never made me lose weight, I did it for other reasons, now I’m following kind of a macrobiotic diet, only veganized and with lots of fruit). Oh, some guys don’t always react well when they hear I eat healthy. I don’t usually tell them but when I go in a restaurant and order a vegan entree they look at me as if I wasn’t enjoying life.
What do you think about this? I’m 20 I never thought being vegan was a sacrifice because I do it for animals and nature and not for health, that is more like a consequence! Sorry for any grammar mistakes English is not my first language…
Thanks!

I respectfully agree with your opinion. I dont agree with you though, we all have a different idea of attractiveness.

While I agree beauty is determined by “how fit a girl is ” because of today’s society. Im not “attractive” in your standards. Ive dyed my hair so many times I dont even remember what my natural hair color is. I love wearing black eye liner because it brings out my green eyes. Im 5’6 and curvy… If you think a size 8 is corpulent, than I suggest you take a look at a height and weigh chart. Size makes no difference, skinny girls can be a size 8 but if they have hips, not everyone likes plain, hairy, european ladys with the body of a skate board.

I do enjoy reading your articles, I respect highly opinionated writers and I happen to like your writing style.

I also have a dozen tattoos, trust me sir. Im no sailor.

That being said, with the excepton of me wanted to get down to maybe 150/146 ( which is a NORMAL weight dor my weight and height according to my DICTOR ) im happy with everything else.

Ophelia, thank you for he input and others will read your comment and consider another side. I am certainly not saying one size fits all. However, these are general guidelines from a guy’s perspective. I think you are somewhat young. Girls like to express themselves and part of the existential pain of being aware is changing your looks in a radical way. That is dye your hair, get tattooed wear crazy things. I have no problem with that except the tattoos are too permanent. However, for a lady that wants to increase her chances of meeting the guy of her dreams would be wise to follow my guidelines.

You have to determine if your current style is you or more a phase. I respect your view and style but from a guy’s perspective consider some of my guidelines and focus on changing your mind and intellect more than your looks. Study philosphy or literature or travel to Europe and learn a language, and this will attract more guys than a change of hair color, just a guys point of view.

*my apologies for the grammar mistakes I made above, my only internet access is my android phone. No spell check :/

I guess my question to girl who defend their large sizes is: Why would you not want to be attractive if physical health and beauty are somewhat synonymous?

I am trying to help you here, I am not heartless, just give you some general ideas from a guy’s perspective on beauty.

I mean, I really wish some girl had written an honest view of how to be attractive for a guy. Instead I was wearing the wrong fashions trying to bulk up with weights, doing the things I thought girls would like based on incorrect information perpetuated by the media and other guys. This whole alpha male macho idea has got way out of hand, just like feminism or the opposite that idea that girls have to be ‘done’ – that is nails, hair, makeup, plastic surgery etc. Both ideas are not cordial.

Shakespeare wrote “summer’s lease is all too short” he was not talking about summer but beauty of a girl. It fades fast.

Women’s time is limited to attract a man for reproductive purposes and instead of spending your time building an ego defense mechanism of why you have the right to be size 12 (not attractive), why not just do yoga or go jogging on the beach?

I have to disagree to this post.
I am an European born in Moldova (tiny country in Eastern Europe), and have lived almost 11 years of my life in New York City.

I grew up there and I would have to say that most of my personality, behavior and the way of thinking is mostly American than European.

I just recently came back to Moldova and I have seen a huge difference than what it was before. To say that American girls spend more money on their looks than European is not true. Here in Europe girls are obsessed with their looks more than an American girl. At least more American fit girls think about their health, while here girls go through dramatic ways to get thin, spend cash monthly on waxing every part of their body, doing their nails, facials, massages, tanning and some other things I didn’t even knew people would really spend money on. (For example currently for some reason for the rich girls it’s a “trend” to get collagen in their lips).

In America the focus is more on natural beauty while here walking in a simple tank top and tight jeans can’t be accepted, because a girl has to look perfect even if she goes grocery shopping. Yes European girls are prettier than American ones that’s for sure.. by nature they are thinner, smarter etc. And I am not saying being thin, covered in makeup and dressed clean is all the beauty, but it is a part of it.

This article is so vague and just so little described towards what makes a girl attractive. It is mostly based on looks and things that do not really matter. A girl till the end of this world will keep dying her hair, wax all her body, spend money at the salon etc, Because this is what women do.

If you are a married man and have a daughter the focus could have been accentuated on a girl’s intelligence and talents, the way she carries herself and treats other people, etc, because the problem in this society is not about the girl’s looks, because each man has his own perception of beauty and so do girls, but don’t forget that whats a turn off in a girl is being snobby, spoiled and just plain stupid, which now how a lot of girls are. But I do agree that a woman should always keep on looking after herself even after giving birth, health wise and look wise.

I know I am not perfect, I am just 23, lived half of my life in NYC, graduated college and returned back in Moldova, and I have 5 tattoos and I am a size 4.

I differentiate a bit from every girl here in Europe, but at least I have seen the best of such opposite worlds and I can understand a women very well and can sense from far away the type of women she is, but most important is that a girl as beautiful she will be, they all are sensitive and self-conscious.

If you are saying women’s behavior is a constant than it is all about disposable income. However, I tend to think there are some cultural differences. Moldavia is more Russian than Western and girls tend to spend a higher proportion of the disposable income on looks even if the net is lower.

Further, I really think it depends on the circles you are in. In the USA I lived in NYC and Boston (Beacon Hill girls would spend several thousand dollars on a designer purse) in rather nice areas and there were no limits to the money girls spend on their looks. Even when I lived in Brooklyn, a working class area, the Bay Ridge, Bensonhurst girls were the most painted girls I have ever seen to date.

In contrast in Eastern Europe the University students I know, had no money and were living off of Chinese ramen noodle soups. Eastern Europe is poorer, hence less disposable income for extra things like beauty and style.

I would say generally Slavic girls and European girls are more stylish with less even with less disposable income. American girls spend more but are less stylish. I know this is a paradox and a contradiction but it is what I have observed.

Therefore, I think European girls look better as they eat less and spend less on artificial alterations of their natural appearance, and develop a more classical liberal education and mind which is generally more appealing than a girl who does not.

One of the biggest issues is American girls are overweight. This is not a commentary but a statistic. Any girl who is thin looks good with minimal effort. However, a size 12 American girls in an expensive yellow business suit is just a round bumble bee. A Slavic girl who is a size 4 would look good wearing WalMart Faded Glory clothes. And you know this. I am sure you were had men swooning for your in NYC.

So what it comes down to is weight and hair and development of one’s mind and spirit. I think that European girls have traditionally had the lead in those factors. However, I would say that there are many American girls who do develop their minds and spirits. I just wish they would not be so opulent and material.

On a more personal note, I am sure you are more beautiful than most girls and I thank you for writing, but maybe chill out of the taboos as they may be cool now, but almost every woman I have met in their middle age, regrets the faded and sagging body art. I wish I could go back in time and taken care of my body better. I wish. I know it is all trendy and cool now but maybe look into getting them removed?

 

When you say corpulent is not attractive, I would like to say that you don’t have to be perfectly toned. A little flab here and there is okay as long as a girl is slim, healthy, and takes care of herself.

I think you married the wrong gender. It sounds like you want a boy to me. No high heels, short hair, body hair, super skinny which usually equals a not a big chest. A size 8 is average and a little bit curvy which is what separates women from boys. I think you just outed yourself.

This comment is funny more than anything, I invite you back for more comments on beauty, women and your perception of the world.

Let’s look at this objectively. Although during recent earth history, corpulent men and women were exulted, like during communist Russia or the Italian renaissance, because of fear of food shortages. However, the other million years of evolution Homo Sapiens girls were skinny (based on archeological evidence), rustic, wild-looking. Think the Hunger games (Jennifer Lawrence running with a bow and arrow through the forest). Early man lived in the woods and foraged and hunted and were universally thin and the women wore no high heels and had long hair (I like long hair generally if you read my articles).

Think about it, what guy in the world would want to be with some wild rustic girl living in the worlds from say ancient Slavic times for example?

According to archeological facts, these Homo Sapiens girls were thin and muscular and her hair was wild even with dready. Who cares about perfume where there were so much pheromones floating around naturally. Who cares about a domesticated size 14 girl when these ancient girl was like a slender deer, fast and sleek.

Curves in a woman’s body should come out naturally. That is they have wide hips or bone structure makes it so, not artificial layers of lard. The type of curves you talk about you might see on a hog, which is penned up all day eating (my wife’s family are farmers and this is what it is like, they corpulentten animals).

Furthermore, when women are pregnant they will have curve and a chest no matter what, as they will be so swollen with milk, it will be as if milk is ready to become spurting out at any second. Also consider runway models. Why do guys dream of dating models or female athletes or actresses? I am not saying every female has to look like that, as I think the three mentioned groups are a little excessive to say the least. I am just saying think of the original ancient people’s during the evolution and maybe there is a reason we have six billion people on this earth. That is there is a lot of physical relations going on between the genders, and mostly in places like India and South America where the women are like I describe, while in ‘advanced countries’ (I use this sarcastically) we have declining birth rates and marriages. I mean image just for a second, some size 14 women laden with perfume and heavy make up, heals and an attitude was in the jungle in Africa, how ridiculous that would look. Men like natural, normal looking women like natural, healthy looking guys.

Is over size 8 too much weight? Like really? Most average women are a size 12, calling a woman over weight for being above size 12 is just wrong. It really says the kind of charecter you are when you say Ukraine and Russian women are the most attractive women to you, probably because they’re all prostitues and that is the only kind of woman you’ll ever be able to get.

Size 12 or 16 is overweight. I am not writing this for girls who want are riding the corpulent acceptance train. I am writing this to let men know there are many normal healthy women in the world besides the size 12 and 16 women of the politically correct crowd.

I am also tell women that being fit and healthy is a better life than being sluggish and chubby. Why is it better? I do not know, maybe you will have less health problems and feel better physically and maybe you can attract a mate that is into health and fitness too? I mean do you want to attract some huge guy that sits on the sofa all the time and packs food while it spills on his t-shirt or would you prefer some slim surfer dude who is positive about life.

I really resent your sterotype about Ukrainia and Russian women. The some of the kindess and most moral people I know are from the Slavic countries. I am a citizen of there and I bet you have never lived there or even travelled there.

I deleted all your hostile and bitter words by the way as I do not like negativity.

If a girl is size 8 she is OK, but a size 12 or 16 that is a husky girl and joining the gym or cuting out the junk food is not going to harm her, and might do some good.

I am 5’5″ and weight between 115 and 125 on a normal day and am a size 8. I am not corpulent at all, or big boned. Where are you getting a size 8 as being corpulent? Someone needs to read up on women’s sizes.

It all depends on the person. If you are honestly 5’5″ and 115, than you are a good weight and need not to worry or fret.

I think the acid test of whether one is corpulent or not is stand in front of the mirror with no clothes. If you think you look corpulent (and I am not talking to people who distort reality because of psychological trauma) than you are, if you look too thin than you are. Just be honest with yourself. Look at your body in the mirror and with honesty evaluate yourself objectively.

From here you can do two things:
One – as if your body needs improving or it is fine and you could focus on your mind and spirit? If not maybe tweak it a bit.
Two – learn to love the way you look in the mirror. Even me there are things I do not like about my face for example. I mean this is my face and I need to really be accepting of this. I need to love and accept this.

I’m a 16-year-old girl and even though I agree with some of the things you said there are a few things I don’t agree with. First of all the whole idea of a girl having to be size 8 or less is really an awful thing to say its whats on the inside that counts not what you look like that should. I don’t judge men by him being a so-called perfect size. Sometimes you really can’t help what you look like no matter how much you try, and it’s not fair to be judge by it. You have no idea what that person goes through to be that person. I’m a shy girl who is overweight and may not be the most beautiful girl but im a nice person and I think that should count for something. It should not matter what you look like, it’s who you are. All I want in a guy is for him to be nice, understanding and funny to make me laugh when im sad. He does not have to be great looking. I’m young and even though I am saying this I still don’t have much confidence, and what you said does not help girls like me. To be liked you should only have to be yourself and nothing else.

Thank you for your input. I also think people will read your comment and can see the other side. You have made a passionate point and expressed it well. At 16 keep to your ideals and you are right it is what is inside that counts. I truly believe this.

However, for dating physical attractiveness for guys looking at women includes shape of the object of his affection. It is not important as much for women in chosing a mate, but for men it is.

Women look for things like that are important for their mating strategy, but women need to get off their high horse of self righteousness, you all have your criteria also and you are ruthless about it. It is painful to be a guy like it is a girl. But the pain of rejection is not real, it only means you have not yet found the right one and a better person is waiting for you.

It does not mean the way women judge men is better or worse than men, just different.

Women are lucky, being fit is fun and it is a component of looks that people have control over, that is their level of body condition. It does not take money or spending, or anything special, just moderation and self-discipline.

Further, remember, this is more about from a guy’s perspective what guys look for. I did not make the rules. A size eight is very reasonable. A size eight is not overly skinny or thin.

Why not just object to the whole US Medical profession that recommends a height and weight chart for a healthy life or guidelines for percentage of body corpulent? I mean size 8 is just a number of reference I used as it is an easy number that people can relate to. However, percentage of body corpulent is a better measure. Just go by the guidelines or the height and weight chart.

I see women in America, and I mean 18-year-old girls that are huge. This is not good for them on many level. Granted they may be nice people, but for dating you can not tell me that is the optimal dating and mating strategy, nor is it good for health.

In Eastern Europe girls are universally thin and healthy with rare exceptions because they show moderation. Moderation, self-denial as long as it is not extreme are generally good things. It shows mental strength and character.

Do you honestly want to go for a guy who has a huge gut? Be fair.

Now your point about inner beauty is correct. We are all sparks of light off the divine flame.

I am just writing this for females who are curious how men see the world and if they want to improve their chances for attracting men.

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