What is attractive on a girl

What is attractive on a girl?

Who am I am why do I know about what looks good on girls. I am an American living in Europe.  I also have two sisters, a wife and a daughter.  I have a lot of respect for women.  I am also honest. I am not trying to sell you anything an not a company.  I write my own language learning software.  I am writing this because I feel a lot of women are mislead as to what is good looking and what they should buy.  Companies spend lots of money on trying to convince you what is attractive on girls.  My guy friends and I are all pretty good looking, intellectual and I think they would also agree with my views.  Some guys will disagree but beauty is subjective.  I do not dance around the issue, I tell you what I honestly think.  If you disagree please let me know.  But what I write might shock you.

Lets start with what is not attractive on a girl

Here is my list of things that are things that detract from a girls beauty.

  • Hair color changes are not attractive on girls.  Most girls hair looks fried, that is, their coloring damages their hair.  Also the hair looks fake.  I like real.  I do not like fake. Guys like real girls. Hair is big money and big business.  Give your wallet a break and try your natural color and you will see more guys will respond.  I know girls will protest, but this is true. Natural looks great. I personally have some of the most attractive shinny hair, I get girls asking me all the time what I do.  I wash it with only natural soap, but eat well and take vitamins.  A very natural diet, no caffine or junk.
  • Too much make up is not attractive on a girl.  Basically a little lipstick is all girls need.  If your skin is not perfect spend money on vitamins or something very natural that will help heal your skin not mask it. Do not be affraid of imperfections.
  • Too much grooming.  American girls have tons of cash and spend it on their looks.  Every eyebrow and part of them looks like a well manicured lawn in suburbia, nothing out of place. This is boring.  I like the wild, rustic look. Something thick eye browse look great.
  • Body hair is good except on the face. Women are have OCD about shaving everything.  They should go easy on themselves.  It is instinctive to like hair, hair on a girl is good.  Sure shave your legs but do not go crazy. Girls care more than guys.  Girls do should not feel the need to pluck everything off so they look like a girl.  Be a women, this is attractive.
  • Shoulder length hair is not attractive.  For me, shoulder length hair means,  I do not want long beautiful hair as its too much work, nor do I have the guts to do something radical like cut it real short. So I will be another boring girl with a bob.
  • Tattoos, I want a girl not a sailor.
  • Facial moles, very not cool if they are big an ugly. I do not recommend many body modifications, but mole removal is not bad if it is ugly.
  • Fat is not attractive.  I like skinny girls as most guys do. This is why I think European, Russian, Ukrainian, Polish girls are much more attractive than American girls. Argue all you want, a girl who is skinny is attractive, a size 8 is not.
  • Girls that are not humble are perhaps the biggest turn off.
  • Perfume, its just petrochemicals on your body, why not use your own pheromones, this is attractive 100%.
  • High heels look very uncomfortable to me and therefore no attractive.
  • Foul language, smoking etc.
  • Jewlery and anything in excess.

What than makes a girl look attractive?

Here is a list of thing that I think are attractive on a girl:

  • Long hair or really short hair.
  • Girls that show their face and do not cover it with hair.
  • Thin girls.
  • Glasses or not.
  • Tight jeans and a t-shirt.
  • See though shirts or tops.
  • Earth tones or spring colors.
  • Girls that keep fit.
  • If you want to drive guys crazy try not wearing a bra.
  • Girls that eat healthy are attractive.
  • Brains and humility is attractive as well as wise girls. Stupid material girls are not.

In summary what is attractive on a girl?

Girls that spend money on looks are rarely attractive.  Girls that walk a lot, and wear clothes that are not to pricey, jeans and a nice top or sweater, earth colors.  Natural hair and look and lifestyle are beautiful.  Basically do not spend money on making yourself look good.  Any girl in Eastern Europe spending little, to no money on their looks, look great. Romanian, Russian girls etc total incomes might be a few hundred dollars a month. These European girls look much better than her American counter part spending cash on herself.  If you want to really attract guys play chess, read books, do yoga, learn a language.  This for me is interesting and attractive on a girl.

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

341 thoughts on “What is attractive on a girl”

  1. Yes I do know that this is your opinion. But when I was younger I used to think that this was all a guy wanted was a skinny girl. And when you read some of the things you have up here thats pretty much what it sounds like. Not saying thats what you mean. But I found some guy friends who do like bigger girls which made me relize I was wrong. So the way I see it not all guys think the way you do, and not to sound mean at all but im very glad they dont we need more guys that dont care about if your 10 pounds overweight. But no offense to you its your thoughts. Im just saying being my age and being overweight could bring girls to drastic measures if they read things like this. I ment this girl who because she was like 5 pounds overweight starved herself just so she could lose a couple pounds. So all im saying is be carful what you write you dont know how someone may take it.

    1. But objectively speaking you did notice a lot of guy like skinny girls? That is because fit and slim is in, mostly fit actually. Too skinny is not good. But lets say fit and in shape, not overweight. However, you are right some guys do not mind 10 lbs over weight. Yet why not get in shape? I mean if someone is overweight at 18 what will happen at 38 after a few kids? Will they magically get healthy and become a size 8? I do not think so. So start to eat right from the start. Start the habit of exercises. What is so wrong with no fast food and chips and Mcy D and replacing that with fish and veggies and doing yoga and power walking and surfing etc? When I was in high school I was required by my school to do sports three hours a day.

      I went to an all boys English boarding school and there were not slackers allowed. Three hours on the athletic fields to burn off all that teenage anxiety and boast our self-confidence. What is so wrong with that?

      Whatever happened to sound mind sound body? This is something universally true. People who have had serious medical problems bounce back faster if they body is in shape and their mind is determined. In contrast if you are of weak mind and body your body has more trouble coping with life’s ups and downs, this means not only physical but mental. Of course there are exceptions. But whatever happened to the virtue of body and mind working as one to strive for a renaissance person? When you are young you should be moving mountains.

      Sure there is someone for everyone but if a girl is fit an toned and athletic, jogging on the beach and drinking green drinks, that is cool.

    2. When I was in school I worked all day at the loading docks lifting heavy cargo with my body unloading and loading all day in the heat and cold, and I went to school and did my homework and I did sports. I had to work to pay for my school. What is wrong with that? When you are young you can do anything you put your mind to. Too many people in today’s society are into complaining and trying to deny the reality of the way the world is.

      If you are young nothing beats hard physical work to teach one about life and develop one’s body and a strong mind. In lieu of that sports.

      By the way, I personally think things like the military is a waste of time as it involves violence and is connected to foreign wars not the USA. So do not consider that ever.As a way to disciple the body. It is not. Better is to go to yoga camp or something.

      1. Well almost all the people I know who are overweight including myself, we eat fruits and vegies and exercise, rarely go to any of thoes fast food places and portion our food well. And yes why not look the best you can, but starving yourself is not the way to do it. And a lot of girls do that when they can’t lose thoes couple of pounds.

        1. I do not have enough information. If you are a couple (2 lbs) overweight there is no stress. But explain to me how in Eastern Europe like Poland were I lived, the girls are universally thin and never really think about diet or say they are ‘starving themselves’?

          It is a different mentality. Here in the USA women say ‘I am starving myself’. Polish girls are not thinking in these terms and have more realistic expectations what the human body needs. They are moderate.

          I see them having a bowl of soup and that is lunch with nothing to drink because they can not afford anything but the broth from the soup as their beverage. They do not get in a car but walk or bike everywhere.

          In Krakow we use to walk five miles a day or more just around town.

          I can not image that you eat only a few hundred calories a day, Like I said in high school I had three hours of sports a day as required by my boarding school. At the University I worked all day on the loading docks all day and hit the gym and them walked to class. It was nothing excessive just being young and full of life and beans. Why do so many women express weight in such drastic terms?

          Starving? Go to Auschwitz. I lived in the old Jewish Getto in Poland and the work camp was down the street. I am not Jewish, nor did I live during those time. I know people who survived it. That is starving. That is a victim. Not American women complaining and the time that size 12 is acceptable.

          Stop seeing life as so hard. I have real physical problems in my life, spine and brain problems which makes me suffer horrible everyday. Yet, I do not complain so much as American women who need to lose weight. They see themselves as victims or being oppressed by male society.

        2. Sorry to be so hard. I know life is hard and it is very hard to be a woman with all the expectation but on you. Just consider seeing yourself not as a victim but as in control of your body. The best way to do this is take your mind off of weight and body and develop things like learning languages and travel. I mean my wife only had enough money for eating one bowel of ramen noodles a day and maybe a few apples. Yet she still too French lessons. This is the way European girls think.

        3. Actually starving yourself is the only way to lose weight. You need to shrink your stomach after having stretched it out by eating too much. It makes no difference what you eat in terms of your weight. You can get corpulent by eating vegetables if you eat too many. After a few weeks of feeling hungry, your body will become accustomed to the correct amount of calorie intake. Sure there are men who don’t mind some rolls of corpulent. But in my experience better men like thinner women. I know it sounds harsh, but a guy that expect a lot from himself, and sets standards high, often also sets standards higher for his partner.

          1. Although I personally believe in the habit of self-denial for development of the soul in some cases, it sometime is not needed to lose weight.

            The notion that self restriction and beauty are synonymous, are not necessary true if you change the quality of food you eat. Since I switched from my local popular grocery store to Whole Foods market organic food, the weight stays off. I think your body understand when to stop if it is satiated, if the nutrients in the food are abundant.

            When I moved from Europe and kept the same diet as I did in Europe, just ate non-organic American food, I gained twenty pounds. I could not believe it. Since I switched to organic from Whole Foods, I sent from 200 lbs to 175 lbs. I did not even try. I can not explain it other than the quality of the food matters more than the quantity.

            America is all about convenience. I am all about pleasure. I do not have a microwave simply because I do not like the way the food tastes. I tried a Walmart ladyen I use to like year ago and I could not eat it once I got use to range free organic ladyens.

            So perhaps I agree with the epicureans that the best way to indulge and maximizes your sensory experiences are through moderation and restriction, but the hedonist in me likes quantity, so I improved the quality and do not worry about the quantity. I mean you could ate organic eggplant and roasted artichokes all day long, and never gain an ounce or gram of weight.

  2. Well im not complaining, I just dont think its right to say anything at all about anyones weight. You are who you are and if someone does not like that then fine. And you should only have to change if you want to, but not for some guy who may not be with for that long anyway! And thats why noone should judge you just by looking at you. Havnt you heard the saying “dont jugde a book by its cover” just because you see someone who may not be perfect does not mean there not someone wroth getting to know. And let me tell you something some of the best people I know are not the best looking people but they just might be the best person you meet. So think about that next time you see someone you dont think is the most perfect looking, cause bet you teo to one there the best person you will ever meet… not saying that people who are good looking are mean, just saying that not all are and that a lot of people who are not that great looking are nicer.

    1. Hats off to you.

      I mean that sincerely. You are a pretty good debater and I do respect your point of view.

      I agree with the don’t judge a book by its cover.

      It even pains be to write things about women’s weight because I know how sensitive and personal an issue it is. Body image is one of the biggest determinants of happiness in the young. But I write this not for high school girls who are finding their way but more for adult women in their 20s who wonder why they have not attracted their mate.

      I want to be honest with girls. I do not want to sugar coat things and tell something that is not true. What is true? Guys like fit girls.

      What is wrong with that? I am not too politically correct where I tell lies. I am a guy, I like skinny girls like most of my friends do. I wish it was not true but it is. I wish I could say I am an etheric being with no blood in and passion. But I like the look of a fit, girl with good style. And yes muscles look good on girls. Girls with long slender or even some tone or bulk look good. This is why guys go for Russian women tennis stars for example. They look athletic and healthy.

      To also be honest, I am not skinny guy myself. You use to be able to play a xylophone on my ribs but I had some physical problems and I have to drop about ten lbs myself. You can see my Gravatar, I can lose a couple of lbs.

      But I agree, we are all lights of God, and God does not care about what we look like. We are all worthy and accepted. The more we accept ourselves the more people will like us and we will be attractive. So you do have a point of view I can respect.

  3. Well thank you. But I think there is someone for everyone so if there is someone overweight who does not mind it and does not want to change, that is their life and they should live it anyway they want to. And they will find someone for them that will love and care for them. And if that person does not that is there own loss, they may have had someone special but well never know it. And anyway it may just be a good thing for someone to meet you at your worse that way in the long run you know that person really loves you and cares for you instead of just wanting you for just one reason only. Cause a lot of men go for looks only, and not for the person. And there are a lot of girls that do that too.

    1. I felt the same way. When I was in high school and most of my 20s I was painfully alone. It hurt so bad. I even wrote a post about being lonely and depressed.

      I felt girls just went for guys that were either jocks and athletic and popular by some association, had money or just looked good. I was reading books about philosophy and literature and art and languages and history. I played musical instruments, worked hard, a complete renaissances man. I went to church, meditated and really a good person. Yet no girl gave me a second look. I was too much a geek.

      It was so unfair. Girls are so superfical and care only about looks I thought. Then I learned the truth. Looks help your partner find or notice you.

      A friend of mine game me a hint, go to the gym. I friendshiped up my looks a bit. Bought some cool clothes, spiked my hair up, when to some good Montreal hair stylists, hit the gym, too yoga learned to flirt with girls. I travelled the world and had a woman in every port. Girls who once scorned me were chasing me. All because I optimized my looks.

      I still wanted to meet my one and only love who loved me only for me, but now I had a chance.

      When I met my wife and fell in love and got married I was so happy. It was only later she and I confessed we married each other for our looks.

      I mean of course she loves me for who I am and we are deeply spiritual people, yet it does not mean I am not attracted to her and she not attracted to me. It is natures bait. It is basically why we got married. I married my wife for her looks and she did for me.

      So what can I say. I think most people mate for looks, it is programmed deep in our evolutionary code. One million years of evolution. For some reason humans like being kissed by a beautiful person than not. And the good news is anyone can be attractive.

      Yet that does not mean we have to just be animals. I am not. I do not believe in relations out side of marriage nor does my wife. It is more about going for a cordial girl and guy who loves you no matter what. Why not enjoy yourself and meet a super cordial guy that makes your heart skip a beat when he comes into the room and then have him turn out that his beauty is only exceeded by his virtue?

  4. Yeah well it does feel that way, but I know different. I’m happy you both found each other. 🙂 But I don’t think I could ever be obsessed in a sense. In anyones looks. The way I see it as long as the person is nice and treats you the way you should be treated it doesn’t really matter what they look like. I just hope one day I can find someone who feels some what of the same way lol.

    1. But again, I agree with you but you are thinking like a woman. A man thinks different. Looks count, we can help it. I do want to lie.
      Further, even though my wife accepts and loves me as I do her, I want to be fit and trim for her. I am not thinking so much of myself as being good for her. So I think my premise that to be attractive be fit still holds.

  5. Well yes I am partially a woman so I think I have the right to think like one lol. But I do respect what you said in a way, but every one has thier own perspective on things.

  6. Well I can see what you are saying however I am going to have to disagree with your thoughts, I know they are yours and I respect that this is what you think however firstly why does any of this matter because all im saying is that surely a pretty happy girl who feels good about herself is more attractive no matter if she is a bit heavier or wears a lot of make-up she isn’t wearing it for you she is wearing it to make her feel good about herself and I honestly don’t think you have a right to say that is not attractive because if a girl is happy their personality will shine out and that’s what matters.

    1. I have said every woman is attractive. I have not met one female that did not have her own allure to her. However, if a female wants to optimize her looks for attracting a mate, love and living happily ever after, my advice is for girls who want to know, not want women think is attractive. And this is not the Oprah show where we are all affirming each others and nodding our heads that everyone is a winner.

      But rather advice from a guy on how girls can optimizes their looks. real advice, non nonsense.

      I mean women take advice all the time from magazines and TV shows but this advice is really not honest enough about things. You want honest and not sugar coated read my advice on how to be beautiful.

  7. So I should give up all self-respect and all of my self-esteem so that I can please your ideal? Great, I’ll stop wearing a bra and get back problems so that I can have men hit on me.

    1. No, you do not want guys to hit on you. You want one man, who is your prince to fall in love with you and you do not need to talk to anyone else. Period end of sentence. I really do not know why girls get so upset about the bra thing. I mean in traditional cultures and in Europe a lot of women do not care for such things. They are restrictions, do not feel good and unnatural, unless you need it for support.But since we live in a culture that expects them, I guess wear them. But it is not anything wrong with going without them, it is just nature. I only made that comment as an example of a natural way to get noticed.
      Women will spend literally thousands of dollars on clothes, handbags and shoes, to look good. They become professionals and cake on makeup and spend more of their hard-earned money, they get plastic surgery. You do not need that, just tone up and jeans and a t-shirt and heaven forbid you have no bra from time to time, when at a cafe, or bookstore or thrift shop on the weekend. I think the former is more absurd, just culturally more accepted. Crazy culture if you ask me.
      When girls are on the beach they let everything hang out. I know I live on a semi-tropical island. Girls are so restricted by expectations and convention. I am tell you another message. Natural and low maintenance and low stress is the best. Not spending money to look good but look good from the inside out.
      I also recommend inner work as the best thing as every guy wants to date a cordial geek.
      Why do girls color their hair, get plastic surgery, get tattoos and piecing, yet if they tone up their body and wear nice jeans, grow their hair long they it is considered offensive?

  8. I a woman who was born in Canada lived in Luxemburg and Switzerland as well. I am sorry but I have to agree with the admin. I am mixed and my dad is from West Africa so yes I have a tendency to being very curvy but I got to know my body and care a lot about its health. I hear a lot of “big women” complaining and it’s getting on my nerves, of course you have your own body type but it’s about the health don’t fool yourself by saying that every woman who is overweight eats lots of veggies and fruits and exercises a lot. Weight only comes from one thing and its food, the corpulent doesnt magically appear because you are eating carrots. It’s not about an ideal but believe me if you feel healthy and look healthy that’s all that matters, you will encounter no self-confidence issues nor will you feel like resembling an ideal woman. Just keep your body healthy and don’t let yourself go ever (I personally think that this is the most repulsive trait in man as well as in women).

    1. Letting yourself go for a man or a woman is one of the worst things.
      I believe in Mens sana in corpore sano.
      If you let your body go your mind starts to go down hill also. If you let your mind go your body does also.
      I would rather strive for the ideal of sound mind in a healthy body. If you let yourself go the bottom is no fun and it is a long way up. It will make no one happy, mostly yourself.

  9. I am an overweight woman, have been all my life, and I agree with the admin. Most of my life I struggled with selfsteem issues until I got a job wich required a lot of heavy lifting and walking I lost a total of 130 pounds the difference was everything, my mind was stimulated and felt like I could do anything I got people talking about me got a few dates because of all the confidence I was showing, I still remember feeling sloppy but even though am still not an ideal size I love my self and believe that the american people do need to become more fit not super skinny just fit, one thing I do oppose the admin is to not make generalizations on all people there is many different enviroments whre people come from.

    1. If you lost that much weight you have my respect. You do not have to be super skinny, but just fit, this is attractive in both genders and everyone knows it. Even me I have at times in my life been unfit and fit, and I can tell you I felt a lot better physically when I was in shape, had more energy, my thinking was less sluggish and my body did not have to support excess weight.

  10. I agree with most of what you have to say about natural attractiveness in a woman, admin. I also understand that beauty is subjective, as you said, and also that these opinions you hold do not pertain to all men – as other comments have stated. It is not a generalised norm. The skinny vrs fuller figure debate has many aspects to it. And yes a big part of the social norm in western societies is that generally, a frame with less weight appears healthier and thus more attractive. But this is not so all across the board. Different cultures have large percentages of men preferring fuller figures – South America, Africa for example tend to go this way.

    My question is, how dose a western man judge thinness? What is it compared against? Models with tall frames – (taller peole generally are perceived as thinner),or is the thinness quality seen in context to the individuals body type? What i find complicated is that the variety of body types is vast, and the distribution of normal range weigh on those body types is equally varied. So, dose the western man such as yourself, admin, have an idealised image of thinness? Or, dose he take into consideration that different body types hold weight in different areas and thus, may infact be healthy and normal, but not appear to be visually ‘thin’.

  11. Sure, an overweight woman has that right to be overweight.

    A man has the right to say, “I do not want that”.

    An overweight woman is this way because of choices she has made, and choices she continues to make. It is a mans right to evaluate those choices, and determine if this woman makes the choices that are compatible with his desires.

    If she doesn’t like it. Well, too bad.

  12. Darn you seem shallow. Being all picky. I admit some of the ‘not attractive’ stuff was right. As in: tattoos, smoking, etc. but honestly you can’t just tell girls that they have to be thin. It sounds like you’re looking for a toothpick when you say that to us. With chest and a buttocks. For real. Because we are all different. And I know that you’ve probably heard this before but being the expert that you are, you brushed it aside. I think my biggest flaw is my legs. And I hate them. I am so self-conscious about them ever since a guy told me he didn’t want a girl that didn’t have pin-straight legs. My legs aren’t pin-straight, but they aren’t corpulent. I know that most girls with bigger legs say this, but they are muscular. This is not true for all girls, but take the athletes that say that, and viola, you’ve got the truth. Some athletes tend to have muscular legs and I happen to be one of them. What I’m saying is all girls are flawed. And when a guy says “I’m waiting for the right one” it means “I’m waiting for a girl who is completely flawless and is great in between the sheets”.

    1. You are way to yourself. No guy wants a flawless Barbie doll. In fact most of the TV actresses the media ogles over are not my style. I prefer real. Most guys worth their salt prefer real. What do you like better, something prefab home with furniture made in China or a rustic Victorian home in New England with Amish furniture? Imperfections are beautiful.

      For example, when I went to yoga class the cordialtest yoga instructor there did not have straight legs nor did a lot of the other girls. When you have to stand with your legs together in mountain pose, it is very humbling to see the imperfections and show this to the rest of the world. Even for me. Some of them had corpulent legs and some muscular, but who cares, we all add up to 100%. My point being so what. Who cares what some silly boy said. Do not ever let anyone tell you, you are not beautiful, either directly or indirectly. You are. One of my biggest sayings here is I have never seen a female that was not beautiful. Women are designed to attract.

      If I write I am writing about an ideal. Just like it is fun to strive to get 100% on an exam. You make not get it but you do not need to to pass. Getting in shape is generally a good thing or Dr. Oz would not be so popular. This is in contrast with the corpulent acceptance fade of the early 2000s.

      From a guys perspective ordinary normal girls with flaws are the most attractive. Yet why not strive for beauty also. It does not mean you go to Walmart in Flipflops. It means go to yoga, real some books, study languages, make yourself more than you are through self actualization. That is what being single is about. Self actualization so when you find your mate you will be at his or her level.

      About the physical relationship comment that was silly also. No human being wants any pressure or expectations there. It is not about that. You should distance yourself from toxic people who think this way. People who have expectations about physical intimacy are freaks and think like this because of their own insecurities or just having a weak brain.

  13. I’d like to tell you that I color my hair, And it’s shoulder length, but I care about my hair, also if like to say that my shoulder length hair is more to deal with than my short hair. But since you aren’t a girl you wouldn’t know. As for the clothes, seeing through them? That’s what you should where to a club or something. Girls with self respect, manners, clean, and a good personality is attractive. Not everyone needs to look the same to be attractive.
    Oh one more thing, you don’t have to be skinny to be attractive either.

    1. Regarding short hair, you are a girl so you see it through female eyes. What about a man who wears the same old t-shirt everyday and says “I am perfectly fine, what is wrong with this shirt’. To males he is OK but to females it is not the way to go. The same with hair, women look attractive in long hair. They could add locks but the longer the better.
      My recommendation of see though clothes, is a bold statement, but compare that to trashy women that are tattooed and obese or with a smoke. I think that speaks more about self respect to be healthy, clean and free of tattoos. You do not have to walk down the street in club clothes but at a club it is fine. On the street there are tops that show a little or appear like they will on the back or stomach or have crochet patterns that are not all revealing, it is a tease. Also there are tops that are see through but women have flesh tone t-shirts underneath. The point is to be attractive without giving away everything. However, I think the female body is beautiful and women have misguided sense of style lead by other females. It takes imagination and a sense of style but if women were to do this they would get a lot of dates. Men go for style more than beauty and women should realize all females are beautiful, everyone, it just takes style to get noticed. Then the next step is to say yes or no to the right guy.

    2. You might not have to be skinny to be attractive, but the truth is: the corpulentter you are, the less attractive you are.

      1. I do not mean to be cruel at all. But I was in Orlando this weekend and tried to take note of the thousands of people that walked by specifically for body shape and attractiveness. Objectively the thin people, were more attractive than the the even slightly overweight. Women or men who think that having a gut or big fleshy arms is healthy or attractive compared to toned and lean people of similar stature or body type is self deception. Slim and toned and healthy is more attractive then fleshy arms and a gut or cellulite. I mean look at a guy like Dr. Oz, he is so popular because people are now admitting that excess weight is a problem and there are positive, proactive behaviors that can fix this. They are called healthy habits or in the language of old it was called the virtues of, moderation, or the counter to sloth, or even self denial.

        Who would not want a girl that is into self denial? Asceticism and austerity releases the soul from worldly attachments.

  14. Thank you for your honest articles. I appreciate that you mean what you say and do not try to “sugarcoat” your words I must admit I feel somewhat disappointed because I am American and do not have the very thin look like many European girls. However, my mother always valued healthy unprocessed food with very little meat and raised me as such, so I am very healthy and a healthy size. I am 17 and I was eating very little and exercising a lot to be even thinner, but this made me very unhealthy. It has been a very hard time for me. I got obsessed in my mind and thought I was too big and I was afraid of food. I was a size 6 before this, but after recovering from my eating/exercise disorder I am now leaning toward size 8 (perhaps I am just naturally growing, or my body is trying to make sure I do not starve again?). Although I eat mainly organic produce and eggs from the farmer’s market, walk or hike everyday, and do some dancing I want to be thinner. Do you have any suggestions? I have tried calorie restriction and got very thin, but I was also not healthy then. Obviously some girls are naturally very slender no matter what they eat or where they live. Unfortunately most are not so blessed. Also, I take vitamins and fish oil and drink only water.

    P. S. I really am glad that you are so honest, but I think it is important to note that there are very good girls in the United States as well as other places. My siblings and I were all home schooled and spend lots of time outdoors and eat very healthy. I think Christian faith (or maybe any sort of faith) helps to keep people humble and have beautiful hearts. To each their own!

    1. You are doing everything right but do not worry so much. I am in the USA now living for a couple of years now and I there are many beautiful women of all sizes. As long as you are healthy, have a cool style and have a positive attitude and keep your faith that is all that matters.
      From a guys perspective stylish girls are the most attractive and you do not have to spend money on style.
      If you aspire to be size 6 to 8 it is basically a life long fitness habit but not something to worry to much if you are not that. It is more for a fun. I like to eat well and be active. If I am a little over – so what. I know someday I will lose it. If I am too thin, no problem, make a WholeFoods run and stock up on healthy snacks.
      Remember good style cover everything. Style is the most important part of attractiveness as long as you are not extreme.

      Life before marriage and after marriage
      When I was a teen and in my 20s a lot of my thoughts were about my looks or health. I think this is because when you are single nature makes it this way until you find a mate, a partner in life. It is very important to attract the right person and looks does have a lot to do with it. Sorry but it is true. Basically find a cordial guy or girl who believes in God and is loyal and faithful (and in dating you should ask them about their degree of belief in loyalty). But to attract a quality mate it does not hurt you glow with health and style.

      Until marriage then almost every single guy or girl I know spends an inordinate amount of time analyzing diet and body, including me, I did. Nothing wrong with it. It is life. Every movie star to businessman. We all want to look good. I think the main things is be moderate and let the chips fall where they may (no pun intended). That is if you are moving via exercise and eating organic foods (I would rather pay for organic and eat less as it cost more), then your body over the years will start to shape up. Besides that focus on literature and music or whatever your into. When you channel your thoughts to things away from food to intellectual endeavors you eat less. But you have to really be into what you are intellectually pursuing, from computer games or shopping for shoes or Jane Austen or Mozart. Me I am into languages and travel but also religion for example.

      Specific things I do to stay in shape
      1. Try to shop organic or from Wholefoods. I eat basically only from Whole foods.
      2. Take vitamins (you have to read up on it but basically a good multi-vitamin that you would get at Wholefoods or the Vitamin Shoppe is good).
      3. If you can work out in the morning as morning work out people tend to stick with it more. If you wait till after work/school many people blow it off. This way you get a routine down.
      4. You might want to try visualization or imagining your ideal self. I always like Norman Vincent Peale books (Christian writer) on the topic of imagining and visualization. Old school writer but amazing. Or books like Creative Visualization.
      5. Try to channel your mental energies in something lofty. Like Plato said “Live with the gods”. Read and become obsessed with reading so your mind if off circular thinking patterns. As your mind grows so will your attractiveness. Brains is friendshipy.

      Almost everyone I know gets obsessed with food because it is not an either/or. You can not give it up. It is not a bad habit but something necessary, but to learn moderation is hard. To learn balance is hard. That is why yoga is a fun exercise as there are many balancing poses that teach balance in life.

      More random thoughts about health
      Think about the Bible and Jesus’s time. People ate a natural diet and walked a lot. But they I tend to think they did not go to extremes on either side. There was no junk food and not the excess, nor would they have a reason to starve themselves. They ate fish and vegetables etc. They kept it simple and moderate. Moderation is a great virtue. Or think about how people lived 100 years ago in any country. Or 500 years ago or 1000, years ago. They worked very hard and ate moderately. Humans spend a lot of energy during the day getting food. Now it is so easy it is hard to moderate. Some people do things like only eat what is in the Bible. I like Indian food and pizza so for me that would be challenging.

      Now that I am married, besides shopping at WholeFoods and walking with my family in the evening and being active at the beach and pool (I live in Florida now), I do not do a lot. I naturally stay in good shape without thinking about it. I am not sure if it is because when I was single I worked out and ate well for years or I run around with my family so much.

      Main thing is the only thing that changes people is love. I believe this. So if you want to change yourself love yourself no matter how you are.

  15. Unlike men’s faces, women’s faces require some highlighting or emphasis to look good. People were aware of this more than 2000 years ago and this is the reason makeup came into use. Without any makeup at all, a woman’s face can look bland and insipid. But of course, one must not overdo it.

    The eyes and lips need to have some color applied to them and prominent ear ornaments can add much attraction to a woman. At the same time, short hair can detract considerably from her appeal.

    1. I think all women if they are natural look good. Nature designs it this way. I prefer a lady who does not use perfume or very little for example because her natural scent is superior than any petrol-chemical manufactured one, even if it emulates roses. Analogously I prefer little to no make up. A woman is better off investing in organic food and walking shoes and her glow will be healthier.

      I see women that invest a great deal in consumer good to look good, such as cosmetics and hair products. I philosophy is better is to build up the cells from the inside out with herbs and vitamins and organic whole foods and walking in nature and breathing and visualization exercises. Then you can add some lip stick and clothes from say Hollister and you will be looking cordial.

  16. Since Admin is a christian, yet recommended Yoga, I’d like to ask his opinion on the book “Yoga Uncoiled From East to West” by Caryl Matrisciana. And also “The Beautiful Side of Evil” – By Johanna Michaelsen.

    1. It is very simple. I believe in God. I believe Jesus was the Messiah. I read the Bible, pray and go to Church. But I believe that being Christian does not exclude being human. I believe in evolution and science. I understand the Bible in the content of history and culture. Being a follower of Jesus is not about being a follower of dogma. That messes people up psychologically.

      But even more simply, I believe that Jesus did not say do not do yoga. Did he ever say anything about yoga? He said love others and forgive and do not judge. Where did he say do not do yoga.

      People like Johanna Michaelsen and Carly Matrisciana are very self righteous and their religion is a function of a psychological need to be right and this subdues their fears of their end of life or something. They get a lot of juice from saying I am on the way and you are not, and warning people of things that do not matter.

      People get so hung up on words and dogmas. Jesus was not about dogma, but the spirit of love and forgiveness. Many people who follow yoga are way better people than any people who call themselves Christians.

      Yet you do not want to replace your understanding of God with a physical exercises. there are people go to the gym and yoga class for fitness and skip church. They are many narcissistic players of both genders bloated with self-love. Switch partners like a fashion trend. You do not want to make it all about you and declare self actualization your god.

      I love Christianity because it is not about being beautiful or fit or rich but just about devotion to God. A God that brings us out of our self neurosis we all have. I have no problem with yoga. I think it is very positive and good. Why does one have to be so locked into dogma to be defined as Christian.

      In the end, are we all not children of God no matter what religion we practice as long as it is authentic and devoted to God’s love. I of course being Christian think there is a uniqueness about my religion, but I am not going to judge others, as religion is a language for the inexpressible.

  17. Anything over size 8 is considered as corpulent? Shame on you! What example is this setting for younger women. I’m actually 17. I respect my body and all of it’s imperfections. If you were a real man you’d accept that every shape and size is beautiful. I’m close to a size 8, am I ugly? Am I unattractive? I have a boyfriend that loves me for who I am. Size 3 or not. The real men in this world don’t care for the foreign super models. They care for the real women with a real body. All women are beautiful. This is absurd.

    1. All women are beautiful. I am a guy and it was so painful to accept my body. So you are right. Accept your body is a huge part of being human. You are on the right track when you say all people are beautiful. Yet from a get a date perspective you want to maintain a moderate weight, not too thin or corpulent.

      Men through one million years of evolution respond to women with a .8 hip to waist ratio because it extenuates curves and gives signals to reproductive desirability. You will not convince me that corpulent women are equally shown on magazine covers, movies and attract mates as easy. It is unfair but that is the way the world operates.

      The tragic thing is women get corpulent when they are young and this corpulent stays with them. Fat cells reproduce rather than expand. Once you have them it is harder to keep it off, as the cells tend to shrink rather disappear.

      Better is to start young with a healthy diet of natural foods and exercises. I eat only organic natural food and exercises. What is wrong with that? If you are eating organic kale and fish and figs why would anyone be a size 8? If you are eating processed food and not doing the intense physical activity of course you will gain weight. Better is to start the habits of moderation and health early.

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