Hard Working girls

Hard-working girls are some of my favorite girls to spend time with. Not the street walking call girls mind you, but women who toil long hours without much complaint. If you are a guy looking for a lady friend, look for a hard-working girl. Let me explain with this example.

When I met my wife she use to work 30 hour shift (really) at a laboratory, she worked day and night. Since she grew up on a farm hard work was ingrained in her character. She learned early on to work hard like an Amish girl, expect little and felt that this hard work is a virtue, maybe even a spiritual practice.  Women that have too much time on their hands get into trouble and their minds wander to temptation.

You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons,
and to step out of life’s procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite.  – Kahlil Gibran

Now that we are married what do you think she is like? Do you think she whines and complains for material things? Or do you think she works hard at keeping our child well taken care of, while being frugal with the family expenses?

Now, I am an enlightened husband. I love to cook, spend great amount of time being Mr. Mom, do yoga (I do not go as far as some Swedish guys who are trying to breastfeed). But do you think for a second that I would worry that my daughter and I would not have a cordial home cook dinner every day? With diligence and quiet persistence she keeps the house in order and makes me feel like a king? My wife has transformed our home into a place of peace and comfort.  If you marry a hard-working girl, she will treat you right without much thought of reward or being greedy for more.

During the courtship process:

  • Probe your girl with questions about money, career, and attitude towards work and family.
  • Observe if she cares more about having things or work.
  • Does she work out with disciple or purse intellectual pursuits like languages or music, activities that require self-denial? If so this is a good indicator that she has some mastery and control over her appetites.

Difference between a career women and a working girl

Women, I know what you are thinking, you have a passion or love to work and do not see it as disloyal to have a family and purse a career or job. I agree, no one wants to be a prisoner, a slave and not have free self-expression. I am not advocating wives to be nothing more than friendshipy slave girls.  I am just saying work for your family not for your ego. Know what comes first and last. I am a man and I do. No way do I put some stupid office space job over my child and wife. Your boss does not care about you or that you compromise your values.

Remember the movie Kate and Leopold when Kate the career woman meets a man of integrity?

Leopold (to Kate): You know it’s revolting, yet you have no qualms enlisting me to endorse it?
Kate: What’s the problem?
Leopold: The problem is that, for no reason beyond my affection for you, I find myself peddling pond scum to an unsuspecting public.
Kate: Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like…. It’s a part of life.
Leopold: You have every convenience, every comfort, yet no time for integrity.
Kate: I’ve been paying dues all of my life. And I’m tired, and I need a rest, and if I have to peddling a little pond scum to get one, then so be it.

Career females are all about ego, yet deep down they want to be rescued from themselves. My message is even if they do want to be rescued it is better to avoid career women and avoid materialistics at all cost, because there is too much societal programming to work against, it would take too much time to deprogram her. Better to find a nice humble girl from the village somewhere, who works hard but is not a workaholic and does not care about impressing others and is not impresses by anything but virtue and good looks.

Career women see their relationship with you as a part of their life. Their boyfriend is just a component of their life, like, their beauty obsession, girl’s night out, career, the whole ‘me’ centered ambition thing. I want a girl who surrenders her whole life to me, as I would do for her.  Yes I know this is something out of a Jane Austen novel (maybe I am a little bit Lost in Austen), but this is the way I see the world and I am happily married.

Career women spend countless hours at the office servicing their bosses demands and not taking care of their husbands and families at home.

Does this mean if you are a woman you can not work? Nonsense. You can work, just like a man can, but understand the difference between working to live and living to work. Never, ever put your job before your family. Every second of overtime is a second you steal from your child.  I mean is 50,000 dollars a year or even 100,000 dollars a year worth prostituting yourself for corporate American while your family misses you? I think that money is a pittance that will not buy love or happiness.

  • Life work balance is a myth. It is all or nothing about the family.

My daughter is not dropped off to-day care and my wife might even home school her.

Find a girl who will work, not at a career but at love. Which in my books means small daily acts of humble toil for her family.

 Psychology of values and how this related to dating and marriage

I believe in a consistency of values. That means if someone has some psychological traits chances are they will be consistent with others. For example, we use to joke that is a girl smoked she did other things. In contrast, if someone says the Rosary every night, chances are they are not taking illegal substances and selling their bodies. Every behavior, value, virtue like a fragment on a piece of mosaic art. It tells a story of the whole. Of course there are aberrations, but generally in humans you see a consistency of values. Hard working girls, most likely are responsible women that would take care of children and their husband and make you happy.

Countries with good lady friends with strong work ethic – find a nice girls from the village

  • Indian girls
  • European girls, for example Polish girls or Italian girls especially from the south.
  • Chinese girls – this is almost a stereotype
  • American women

A note about the American female work ethic

The ‘Max Weber Protestant work ethic’ is all but gone with American women (and men). It use to be that work itself has a purpose in that in develops moral character, not because it brings money.

To toil, and not to seek for rest,
to labor, and not to ask for any reward,
save that of knowing that we do thy will.
St. Ignatius of Loyola 1491-1556

What happened to this in our culture? American girls work for ego and money not for the virtue or self purification or doing God’s will (generally). I think of the American work place changed a lot and will continue to change, and be more material oriented, rather than seeing productive effort as a goal in itself. Therefore, you can pretty much cross American women off the list of lady friends that are marriage material. Many American girls want a life of leisure from someone else’s sweat. They want to accumulate material things, but lack the struggle that would bring them the wisdom to know how to prudently use this windfall.

They want a husband who has lots of money, but does not spend time at the office. I am sorry, I do not want to be their sponsor.

For example, I remember one girl one the first date asked me my net worth. Another girl, I meet on an online dating site said she only dated doctors. What losers, and I feel sorry for the guys that marry them and yes they will hook some guy.

So unless you meet an American girl who is someone whose family comes first, is willing to work long hours for the family with unswaying loyalty and see life as a struggle of self-improvement; I would suggest getting on a foreign dating site or taking a trip to Eastern Europe for a spouse. If you have questions just ask about how you can find your lady friend, I can help.

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

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