Careers and dating
That is right, do not ever bring up money or career during dating. If she asks about your job or education, avoid it or say “I can not tell you’. Or better yet, tell her you are poor. This is one of the best piece of dating advice I can give you.
Women like career guys like men like career girls. – My wife
Why do men perpetuate this misconception among themselves that women go for money? I personally acquit myself with women that care if their man is sincere and authentic, however, women that care about money, not the type you want to marry or be around.
Guys think they need to put it out there that they have a career, education or a job or money. Often in the dating process the girl knows your education and job in the first few weeks of dating. That is nuts!
If you open up the conversation about your job while dating, that is a dangerous game you play.
- You will turn girls off by sending them the message ‘I am trying to impress you with this”.
- It gives them the opportunity to categories you and opens the door for you to be a ‘meal ticket’.
- Who gives a deuce if ‘you good caveman and bring home meat’. Many unhappy marriages, divorces and low-life guys are good providers for their homes, but hopeless fathers and rigid and judgmental husbands. Often couples in good provider marriages see a lack of patience and compassion between the spouses. In contrast, look at the Amish, many communities have little material wealth, yet they have happy marriages based on faith and understanding. Yet, on the other hand, in Manhattan I think there are quite a few unhappily married corporate lawyers. Open your eyes to see the reality of this world.
Money is the most overvalued asset in our society. – Mark Biernat
Money is not the root of all evil at all. I am an unrepentant capitalist. I just suggest it plays no role in a healthy loving relationship, and need not be discussed. Money and careers is a dirty distasteful subject Romeo and Juliet would not talk about.
The second you introduce it into a relationship, the dynamic changes. You no longer are seen as ‘Mark or Allan’ but also as a ‘accountant’ , ‘lawyer’. ‘ IT consultant’ or a PhD.
Who wants to marry a workaholic guy? What wife wants to know her little place, bored at home all day, while the man is away from the home ten hours a day at the office and with couple hours in a commute? Sure if you need money I understand but a lifetime of this gets old fast. Is that love?
When did I talk about career in my relationship?
I recommend you do not talk about anything like that. My wife and I did not get into know about the other persons education and career until about a year after knowing each other. It was not important but a year later causally came up in conversation when I was applying for something.
Yes do not talk money or career or education with a girl, ever. Not ever, do you get it? Avoid all references to such and if it comes up downplay it. Tell her you are poor. Tell girls you have no money.
I know this advice is hard-core, but I can guarantee the girl who sticks around after she hears that you have nothing going in terms of money or career truly loves you. She is not one of the hyper consumptive vampire girl who will sucking your life energy from you.
In fact, I would recommend that you put it out there you have no money and no career. I always had the most dates when I was unemployed and living in my parent’s basement. I did not tell my wife I had any career or money, she knew I lived in a 190 square foot apartment and washed my clothes in the shower. She did not care. We now live on a foofy island off the coast of St. Augustine, Florida in high standard, but the point is who cares about money?
Money, dating and wealth
Everything you have is a gift from God anyway. Do not be impressed with your position in life. Your wealth and intellect is nothing more than a gift. And the more that is given means more will be expected. That goes for dating too by the way. The second you mention your job, the girl will have expectations.
Do you think it is a virtue that someone has an unearned windfall. I think it is lucky but not anything to do with character. Build the house of your relationships on stone not sand.
- Oh and by the way, divorce lawyers are scum and prenuptial agreements are for those with limp (insert noun).
Why people often pursue careers and over relationships
Unless you really like what you do, many times career is what we do because we were taught by our parents to be good little bees in the hive. Life is short and love is the most important thing in life and the meaning of life. Why would you spend such an inordinate amount of time working in the hive?
Yes there are fun things to do in life connected with job. For example, one person I know does voice overs, another is a programmer. They do it because they love their job. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a fun way to make money for them. But they do not marry their job, they marry their spouses.
Find the girl or guy that cares about love and destiny and God will reward you. Work on building a heart of compassion in your relationship. Do not give a deuce about your boss or career, unless it is something you think the big boss up there is calling you to do.
make ourselves indifferent to all created things… so that, on our part, we want not, riches rather than poverty, honor rather than dishonor – Ignatius of Loyola, St (1522)