How to find a wife

The purpose of this post is to recommend how to find a wife. That means literally what countries I recommend for finding a lady friend and those I do not.  However, the more important part of this post on how to find a lady friend is about how to find the qualities in a gal what would make a good wife for you.  Yes you want a nice little wife who will make me happy. If you are shocked by the truth or faint of heart, proceed with caution in reading.

Search for your betrothed

Who is this post for? Primarily single men looking for a wife. However, girls married men etc, I invite feedback.  If you combine the questions what and where, this will get you to how to find a wife. You need to be a chooser.  That is make  conscious choices to avoid women who are troubled my their own inflated ego and pride. These are no princesses.

Take your time please and read this post and consider that I say.  Review the different pages of my website.  If you do not have time, book mark the site and come back and explore these two parts of my post.

I really sincerely want you to find the wife of your dreams as she will truly make your life beyond what you could have ever imagined.

If you want to know about me?  Yes I am very happily married to the women of my dreams.

Finding a lady friend – the only way

I will tell you what others do not tell you about “how to get a wife”. I am not going to be politically correct nor chauvinist. I do not sell anything.  I will tell you from a practical stand point the qualities in a women that will make you happy.

I am doing this because I want you do be happy with your life.  Your lady friend will be you happiness or your hearts discontent more than anything else in your life.  Your wife will make you happy or cause misery in your life.  So make sure your marriage partner with wisdom as your guide.

Why not listen to other advice about how to find a lady friend?

If you follow what current society leads you to then you will most likely be unhappy. A lot of what is written about love and dating today are by women or the politically correct.

My purpose is not to offend anyone, rather help those are want to find a lady friend.  I just want to convey in an honest way what my experience in life has led to in terms of finding a your other half.

If you listen to others, new wave people, you will have a hard life, I promise.  In fact, instead of following conventional wisdom and find a liberal professional American girl to marry for example, why not just find someone you despise, give them your house and half your money and save yourself all the trouble of marriage.

How to find a wife – Why I have perspective?

I have traveled the world  many times and have a personal interest in language and cultures. I have lived in many place,  I live in Europe currently. I simply want to help you filter out the mixed messages you receive from the media and popular culture.

I am happily married as are my brothers and father. Their whole life they have been very happy.  I choose my spouse based on high ideals.  I recommend you do to. I have enough world experience to match almost anyone so it gives me perspective. If you disagree let me know. But to find a wife you need to know what to look for.  Trust me, not the media or popular culture.

What a good wife must have to be a good lady friend or you must walk away and forget her without looking back

  • Faith in God
  • Forgiveness – a good wife might say I am sorry all the time.  I do.
  • Believes in fairy-tales – someone who is idealistic about life, if you want a princess you need someone who believes in fairy-tales not some trashy post modern girl. I still read romantic books. If your girlfriend has never read romantic books, I would get a new girlfriend.
  • Is irresistibly attractive for you. Find someone who is cordial for you and you are cordial for.  It is biology. You do not to be an alpha guy, those guys are very primitive.  Better is having charm, this is attractive no matter what you look like.
  • Believes in you. Is totally impressed by you and your are her one and only hero. Find a lady friend that is looking for a prince or hero to rescue her.
  • Believes in being humble and submissive. I will raise some eye brows with this, but it is the truth.  Find a wife who is humble. Love means you submit your ego to your beloved and will to bear all hard things. Anyone who does not humble themselves is not worthy to be called a ‘lover’.
  • Find a wife who knows how to cook and clean. A good wife wants to keep her husband happy, what is wrong with this?
  • Will be a good mother. More important than any good employee for her boss in her profession is a good mother to her children. Being a mother and a wife is the most important job on the planet. Women lawyers are perhaps the worst choice in finding a good wife for example as they try to balance career and family. Ha ha. Do you not know, family is almost the most important thing? Forget balancing or juggling in most cases these two things.  I would rather live in a 300 sq foot flat with my family than make work my priority.  I live in Poland, people are happy in their family lives with little money and in the USA I see many people who are unhappy with a lot of money.  Make sure your wife puts family first, as you do.
  • Is not a spender
  • Find a lady friend that does not want to change you. Does not hassle you. Love does not alter which it finds. The worst women is one that says he won’t change.  This is a nightmare twisted woman, get away from this type.
  • Believes there is no reason to leave a marriage. Divorce is not an option.  Either you are in forever and swear this before God or you are not.  Marriage is sacred.
  • Loves you with all her heart and will all the days of your life.

I think being humble sums all the above up.  She should be grateful to be with you and will spend the rest of her life showing you her gratitude. This is what you look for to find a good partner.

Are you offended by this? I do not care it is the truth if you want to find a wife.

Further as a man it is your responsibility to win her heart and devote your life to love her.  This is love without limits. I expect nothing less from myself than total devotion to my wife.

How to find a lady friend? – Be a prince and your will get your princess

How to find a good wife – materialistic or fairy-tale it is your choice

Does this sound old fashion? It is not. I have the above qualities so why not look for someone who is similar, when looking for a wife.  If you want to find a princess than be a prince. I think if your reading this post you believe in the above but afraid to get it in your life. You might be afraid to speak it because of political correctness and materialistic screaming at you. Men in American movies are always portrayed as bad and good for nothing, but if you are reading this you know that is not true.  Only in extreme examples are men as bad a portrayed, most of my friends are loving sensitive caring men.

You can have a screaming materialistic or a fairy-tale princess.  It is your choice.

I know many women like this.  Further, they are happy to be this way.
If you are a very loving caring idealistic guy, why do I not deserve the someone who is the same.  I am sensitive and idealistic and chances are so are you.  Do not settle for some corpulent American or UK girl with a tattoo and an attitude.

Which country to find a girl?

What countries are best for long term relationships?

  1. Eastern Europe Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Poland Lithuania, Macedonia, Romania. (I do not recommend Czech girls or Hungarian girls.)
  2. Latin America  girls, all of them.
  3. Mediterranean countries, Italy, Spain, Greece
  4. Middle Eastern girls,  consider countries like Morocco.
  5. Asian girls It is another topic and it depends on their culture.  I would say Indian girls are the best for finding your lady friend for marriage.

Basically the whole world besides the USA and the UK. But really, guys take this seriously. Do not just read this post and walk away. Believe me I have been there. I was lonely, depressed and without anyone and I thought it was me. However, it was that my other half my destiny was waiting for me on the other side of the world.

I learned what the expression ‘to dodge a bullet’ means, when I think of all the close calls with American women.

What countries are the worst to find a lady friend.

1. UK
2. USA

I  say the UK is slightly worst then American girls in terms of the worst girls to marry as they lack faith in anything but their own self confidence.  American girls you can find faithful girls, but generally they are also pumped with ego and can not recommend these American girl.  I would say stay away from American and UK girls for any reason.

Why money plays no role in love – not an issue when finding a lady friend

I have herd many ridiculous lawyers and relationship advisor’s talk about protecting your assets before marriage.  I think they are from the devil.  I am sorry.   Love is not about money.  Love is from God.

Marriage and a wife is forever – Ask for help in finding your lady friend

How to catch a lady friend

1. Ask God for a lady friend.  Really. In your dreams and imagination before you fall asleep ask the universe to lead you to a wife that will be your other half.  Do this and be patient.

Where to find a lady friend?

Read my lips, take a vacation outside your own country and go to the places where women are princesses. If you can not do this you can try the Internet.

Read my girls for love blog and explore the country posts that have that are of interest to you.  I have specific recommendations on websites to find women from these countries.

But my recommendation is travel to a country like Argentina or Russia. The best place to find a girl is to travel to various countries, rent an apartment for a week or month on vacation and just meet girls.  What if you work too much?  Quite your, job take a vacation, whatever you need to do to find your wife. Stay in a cheap apartment somewhere and go out on torus of the city and interact with normal girls.  Take ten of these vacations until your passport is filled with stamps.  Do not have the money? Sell your house and car cash in your 401k.

What is more important having a house and a horrible wife or renting a small apartment and having the women of your dreams.  I mean this.  I was a Boston professional with a top job and I moved to Krakow, Poland and had a small rented flat about 200 square feet and washed my clothes in the sink.  But I now have my princess and am doing fine.  Believe in yourself and your ability to prevail no matter where you are.  Life is an adventure, enjoy the ride.

Do not stay in hotels and travel high class, travel raw budget, conserve your money.  I have hitch hiked and stayed in youth hostels and lived on French bread, its more fun.

Romantic love brings people together that should never be brought together.  Base your choices on wisdom, not pop culture.

I found my princess lady friend

Your dream and vision is a fairy-tale princess. You deserve this.  I found mine and I sometimes joke that I really died long ago and I am really in heaven and I do not know it. Why? Because my wife and I are in heaven since we meet.
Don’t you want the same in your life?

Author: Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

89 thoughts on “How to find a wife”

  1. Obviously you cannot handle a strong, self confident woman who has her own identity and life. All your criteria require a woman to be submissive to you…how sad you are.

    1. Maria, I am very happy you wrote this comment on “how to find a wife”. You make my point, and invite your rebuttal, that is if you have the courage of your convictions.

      Why? Who is a strong man? Some man who looks macho and for example when someone crosses him the wrong way he will be a tough guy and yell on the street? Or the man who has control over his senses and calm and peaceful.

      What is a great country? A country that has a large military with loud parades and aggressive foreign policy or a country that peacefully tries to help others without desire for credit or honor?

      Which woman is strong? A woman who is in your face and tells you how wrong you are or a woman who is peaceful and strong and wise enough to submit her own ego for the better of the whole, that is the ‘us’ instead of the ‘me’.

      You live your life the way you want, but for me being strong is being able to submit selfish ego to a greater ideal called love is strong for me.

      I highly recommend when men are searching for a wife they follow my advice, not some name calling woman’s conception of something she does not live herself.

      Like I said the choice for a bride is clear: Fairy-tale princess or screaming materialistic.

  2. I agree completely with the author here. I just wish I could find a website service that was inexpensive, and reputable. I have browsed many “find a foreign wife” sites, and there is always the issue of money. Some of these sites ask for nearly $5000.00 USD. If I could afford that, I wouldn’t need their help.

    If anyone knows of a reputable, inexpensive website where I can find a good wife. Please let me know.

  3. I agree I wish I could find a place that did not want to rip you off. I think American women don’t appreciate a good man anymore. I don’t want a slave but i want a wife who will appreciate and be loyal. I have found American women cant be faithful anymore.

    1. Although there are good American women, they are far and few between.

      American women are immoral, disloyal and not for marrying.

      They are so wacked out they do not know even know they are wacked out.

      On the other hand, if you are a player and like to smile at women, then American women are good for short term relationships. Perhaps no women in the world are easier than American women to get in the sack.

      I am not a player. Nor do I want to be, nor am I advocating that. I am a romantic idealist. Between me and American women is an infinite chasm that can not be bridged.

      They are vain, self centered focused on career and always trying to one up you in a relationship.

      The ideal wife or husband would not be like that. The ideal wife or mate is someone who will be humble, loyal, idealistic, stay with you no matter what, without exception.

      I promise those women do exist and you can find those women to marry.

      How to find a wife?
      Try some of the free dating sites I recommend.

      How to find a wife?
      Better yet start traveling around the world. Go to South America, Africa, Europe, Eastern Europe, Asia, everywhere but American to find your wife. There you will only find trouble. I have been to so many countries and have a couple of passports. Believe me, if you are a man of ideals, America is not the place to find a wife.

      Most Russian women I know take pride in the fact they cook dinner and take care of their man. They really are upset if they are not taking care of they family in a traditional way. What is wrong with a wife that believes in eternal love and having a beautiful family as her first and only priority?

  4. I agree with you so much regarding American women. They are typically lazy, corpulent, after money, and have materialistic ideas. I know its a very negative attitude but I feel its very true. Im even amazed going to Toronto how different the women are. I realize many have moved there from other countries, especially Asia. I swear once you go to Toronto you will find the average weight of a woman drops a minimum of 30 pounds. I would really like to go to Eastern Europe to see the women there!

  5. John,

    Canadian women are as corpulent and ugly as American women. You should go to Quebec. The attractive women in Toronto are foreigners.

    1. Montreal and Quebec city beats Toronto any day. You go to Montreal and you will find girls that are like in Europe, almost.

  6. Yes Spatula I think that is exactly what I said in my post (! As a matter of fact I have been to Quebec and yes the women are attractive in Quebec!

  7. When I was in Quebec I spent most of my time with my family so I wasnt very observant about women. Obviously I should have been paying better attention. I wasnt aware that women are that much different in Quebec and Montreal. So if I want to find what European women are like without travelling to Europen you recommend the best place to travel would be Montreal? I found that Toronto has a heavy Asian immigration. Maybe it would be nice to go where there are more European women. Are you saying the best place to visit is Montreal or Quebec City?

  8. BOTH Montreal and Quebec city are good. They both are in the province of Quebec. But Montreal also has a crazy sensual night life as well. Don’t think you can find a wife in one weekend or one month.

    Go there to have fun !

  9. Spatula,
    Thanks for your advice! Any ideas on best action to take? Do you think best to find them on line or just go and try to meet. Are women as approachable in Montreal or Quebec City? Sounds like you have spent some time in Montreal. Any suggestions for fun nightlife that you have suggested above?

    1. I have been going to Montreal for years. I kinda lived there for a while. Go to the Latin Quater on St. Dennis street. This is what I liked. You can stay in a hotel called ‘the Manoir’.

      I have no fear with women and would walk up to 50 girls a day and try to chat them up in Zings or Indigo book shop or a coffee shops in the North End Italian section, on the street and in clubs etc, along the old town by the river. Lets say 1/2 reject you, you still have 25 numbers. The key thing is to to have no fear and try and do not worry about being rejected. If you have not game in the States then it will be hard to have a game anywhere you ltravel.

      Practice makes perfect. And the objective here is not to be a player. I am not a player and I think players hurt people’s feelings. Hurting someone’s feelings for your own ego gratification is a not cool. Better is to be a flirt. And eventually you will find your wife. Your other half.

      The whole idea of being a flirt is to find a wife not be a player. How to find a wife for you is harder if you do not take risks and chat up girls.

  10. Admin,
    Thanks for your advice. Yes I like your attitude toward flirting too. The purpose is to find a partner, not instant gratification. I very much agree with you.
    Speaking of all this. My friends dont understand when I say that I probably wont marry an American woman. They havent studied the difference. I used to like Asian women. As a matter of fact I have dated a couple. I like their values and exotic looks. In your opinion, other than looks, and locations, what do you think is the main difference between Eastern European and Asian women. Of course I know all people are different in their own culture but what do you see as the main difference between those 2 groups of women?

    1. American girls are not for wives. They make horrible wives. If they cook, its a big deal for example. Most women in the world take care of their men, and cook and clean and take are of the kids and look to their husbands like they are their heros. Most women stay attractive and thin. But most important, most women I know, except American women, want to make their man happy and take pride in making their man happy. The husband should treat their wives with respect and be there for them always. Truly care for them and love them. Be loyal and honor them and not go drinking with the guys but their life should be one of devotion. What is the big deal? American women are not great wives.
      I do not know Asian culture as well, although I am learning Chinese and invest in Asia. My friends that are Chinese have pretty normal lives but they are not Christians. For me that is important. The ethic is clearly humanistic. In Europe this is different. I do not know if this is important for you? But the wife will usually determine the transmission of culture.

  11. That is not true. Just cause one does not have “game” at home, it does not mean they can’t abroad.

    I know many men that did not have what it takes in America, won over women easily abroad.

    I also known men that have had game in America, but most failed abroad because they the cultures for example in Eastern Europe is different. A man that acts like a loud redneck would fail in any Eastern European country.

    Thing is American and British girls like a man that is loud and crass, while in Eastern Europe, most girls do not like such men, because it is considered uncultured.

    It’s like sports. Some teams are better on the road than they are at at home.

    1. Spatula, we do not agree on many points but you are a funny guy and know what you are talking about on other points, please stop the insults as it is droll to edit them out.

      You are right crass primitive football fans do better in the USA and the UK. While in Eastern Europe class and culture does win the day.

      I had a ‘game’ in the US and abroad because I am athletic but do not like sports except chess. I am no super guy, just after years of going to an all boys school and being painfully shy and very awkward , I decided if I was ever going to meet a girl I better start to talk to them.
      I was rejected so many times until it hurt and until I perfected my style and game.
      I am not saying I am some cool guy, I am not. However, with practice I never ever had a problem meeting girls again. I just recommend guys develop their game at home, that is their style of flirting. Then if you go abroad you will have a better chance of meeting girls.
      But if you do not have a game at home, you will be fighting an uphill battle. But as you stated this is not true in every case.
      This you are right about.
      However, if you are some guy has not one toned muscle in his body and no confidence with women in the States do not assume girls abroad will throw themselves at you.

  12. Admin,

    No woman abroad “throws herself” at any guy unless she is a pro. Fact is the loud frat party jock can get girls in America or Britain because in America women like drunkard men. But if he tried to pull what he does in any Eastern European country, he will lose because the intellect becomes important. Even for casual fun he would lose in Eastern Europe badly.

    Of course if a man never talked to a woman that wasn’t a relative in his life in his home country, then he will have an uphill battle.

    However many of my educated male friends were not Don Juans in America due to American standards of approach, but once they were in Eastern Europe for a year, things changed and they either go there for fun and some have gotten married. The same situation happened to my friends that went to Latin-America.

    The fact is there is no such thing as “game” It’s an idea made by some gay guys, which only gay men believe in. I leave that for you to decide.

    As for the “muscle” element. If a man is a corpulent pig, then he will fail no matter. However in Eastern Europe, the artsy intellectual women do better in gaining women.

    The main element that wins things overseas is the status of a man. If he works in Mcdonalds in America, no woman overseas will want him. Lots of things come into play.

  13. Correction:
    “However in Eastern Europe, the artsy intellectual MEN do better in gaining women.”

    They always defeat the corpulent pigs or a drunkard muscle men in gaining women overseas.

  14. Dear Sir,
    I’m English, and writing from Moscow.
    I have lived in 9 different countries, mostly in Europe. Now I’m living in Russia. I’ve lived here for three years in total. I know what the women are like here, because I’ve been out a lot. If you’d like to know what the women are really like here, please keep in touch. I’d like people to know the truth, if they are ready to accept it, of course. I’m an artistic type, non-smoking, non-drinking, hard-working and have a large, comfortable apartment near the river Moskva. I have a good job with a good income. I’m 46 and am not corpulent or ugly. I’m also quiet and well-educated and am from a business family, and have sophisticated tastes. I don’t like bad language and unfair comments.
    I wonder what you think my romantic life is like here, according to your perceptions.
    Please keep in touch, if you wish,
    Stuart

    1. Stuart, I would be very interested in your perceptions. You have a lot going for you, I am surprised you are not married? What is Moscow like, Russian girls and is there any chance to find a wife in the largest city in Europe?

  15. Hello

    we have a lot in common, you’re the kind of man I want to talk with about this. Which ones of the avobe countries or regions would it be the most possible to find a woman who’d be glad to have the full time career of mother and wife? 95% percent of women here in Colombia(Latin-America) aren’t interested in it but carreer and money. What about southern Albania? Thanks for your help and time.

    1. Albania is not Columbia, (which is a very catholic country with strong values), Albania is more a small post communist country. I have known some Albanian girls, they seemed nice but can not make any generalizations as I do not know their culture enough, so again, it depends on their girl.

  16. I have to comment, I have been dating for a few years and am frankly exhausted and disgusted with American women. The problem for me to find a wife abroad is that I am a single dad fulltime, I cannot just go take a month and check out women in another country. I am a christian and being equally yoked is very important to me. I would really value meeting a quality woman and working to get her here but where does one start and how does a guy know if the woman is honest and straight. I have heard many horror stories from others about being taken and their time wasted. All I know is I am done wasting my time with American women, too shallow and sadly they have lost the ability to be feminine.

    1. Nate,
      I live in Eastern Europe and no women I know personally would ever try to take advantage of a guy. There are girls who do this but only professionals you meet via te Internet. Where I live in Poland for example, the girls are very good faithful women. My neighbor for example is a nice lady who is I think 32 and has a child but I think dreams of meeting someone. I know several of my students in their 20s and 30s who are single, no children and dream of being a wife. Hot girls here with masters degrees and very religious just dream of being a wife. Really, it is almost unbelieveable.

      Hot girls in skin tight jeans and long hair, looking like models who have Masters and PhDs tell me they are very domestic and dream of just cooking meals for their husband and having a family. They tell me this all the time that they are domestic. For me as an American it is almost unbelievable.
      But I also see these really tough guys with leather jackets and big muscles , when they walk in front of a church, they will kneel down and bless themselves.
      The world is not America. America and the relationships there are some strange socialogical distortion. I am American and love the place but for finding a wife, I do not recommend it.

      Try some of the sites I recommended under my Polish girls or Russian girls posts. These are websites like sympatia.onet.pl I think if you are serious about finding a wife look everywhere and try everything.

      By the way there are a couple of Brazilian doctors even on this site that write me and say they are looking for a husband.

  17. Thanks for offering your opinion on Hungarian girls – maybe I can scratch that off the list. I did not fancy Czech girls when I went there, so I agree with you there. Argentine girls were nice, but I am not attracted to them physically – also there was a language barrier somewhat. Although I’ve never been, I am very attracted to Ukrainian and Siberian girls. Do you think it is realistic to find a girl to marry and bring her back to the USA? Or, will most prefer to stay in their home country?

    Drew

    1. Czech girls are off the list. I think Ukrainian, Siberian etc are on the list. It is very realistic, however, to find a wife in these countries just like anywhere in the world. It all depends on the circumstance. I live now in Eastern Europe as I think it is fun here, but others of my friends moved back to the states with their wives. I think it is very possible. However, I think if you take a general trip for a week or two and meet a lot of girls, that will be a start. It takes time to meet the right one. A vacation is just that a vacation and anything can happen. But do not expect to export a wife. I think relationships take a lot of time.
      However, basically all my friends that live in Eastern Europe found the woman of their dreams and more than they ever could have imagined.

  18. I couldn’t agree more with the author. I am a highly educated male (BSc, Msc, MBA, PhD), have “LIVED” in Canada, USA, England, NZ, Turkey as well as a South American country i will not name, and have travelled to about 50+ countries in my life. I have been employed by some of the best brand names in the world (i will not list these). My parents from an early age instilled in me (call it brain washing) the value of family, morals, high ideals, the concept of “US”, sharing, politeness, and courtsey. What I see as weak with US/UK/WESTERN CANADA/NZ/OZ women is that, their parents (especially their mothers) have not instilled in them any value system that is positive towards other people. Its is essentially a self serving, inward looking and individual centric value system that they pass to their children. These women bring up their children and their children become the leaders of their countries. Individuals with such self serving value systems, then can only create self serving foriegn policies (eg, US/UK/OZ/CANADA/ISREAL). Their women have self serving “relationships”, in which they have an “entitled” attitude towars everything. They have an expectation of their men that all of their “wants/desires” must be satisfied by the man. If these are not satisfied, then “get another man” is the solution to their problems. This is why, I agree with the author, American women are the easiest to bed (1 or 2 dates and she is yours in the sack)…HOW CHEAP if one thinks of it. I feel sorry for the incumbent guy, whose woman I will bed after two dates with her. Lets say $100 expenditure per date (Drinks, light food/nibbles and we are up to $100 on a date. Two dates = $200. This is very close to the advertised prices for educated princesss in the US right? I know because Ive checked, because at one point I was dating about 3 girls a week in the US and I was bedding almost all of them within about 2 dates, only to have them continue to date and have friendship with other people as well as with me, and I was wondering to my self, “why go through all the hassel to get a date, chase women around getting their numbers, bed them etc etc and spend $100 to $200 with all of them, to have essentially a very short-term “friendshipual relationship” with them, because they just wanted to be “serial daters and one night standers” and not have a real, open, honest, balanced, equal and communicative relationship with one man. They could not be satisfied with one man, because they were not comitted to the idea of a “one man relationship, no matter what”. I agree again with the author, women of europe (I am experienced with French/Italian only) are different to others. This essentially in my assement is somewhat genetic too (call me a BIG RACIST now), but US/UK/NZ/OZ/WESTERN CANADA/ISREAL women are essentialy of anglo-saxon origin, where as French/Italian/Quebec are mostly of Gaul origin.

    It is true, before choosing a partner for life, become friends with their mother and see how they are as people. Your partner will become her mother in 10 years from when you marry her.

    I would go further to say, that in a sence, US/UK/CANADIAN/OZ/NZ (anglo-saxon) women have lost the “wo” in every thing they do and now fully have become….”MEN” are are proud of it. How sad a story is that, women changing themselves to become men, because that is what they call equality. Isn’t this amazing that women are now holding the male world as the ideal standard to measure themselves against. So mentally, they have already “submitted” their own ideals and now strive for the male ideal. The anger or hostility they display towards the male in their lives is their own internal conflict with being born a woman and acting like a man everyday. It is this conflict that create the unhappines, dissatisfaction and retribution seeking behaviours in them towards their men. How sad and how degrading to the female form, which in my opinion is essentially superior in its original form, to the male form.

    As for maria’s comment above, my advice is to stay away from such men and to find a real woman.

    happy hunting !!!

    1. I am an American guy who agrees with Steve, I have been working overseas for all most 8 years and have met some foreign women mainly from Asia and Middle East they are different loyal, real. I was back in N.Y. state where I am from last year I thought I would be staying there, and so I got on a few dating websites before I went home and in the early messages to these ladies I would ask them how they were doing on the date site?

      They would say oh. I am about to remove my profile because all the guys are jerks they always lead the conversation to relations right away. I was shocked, I said well I am not like that I have been around the entire earth over 15 times and have lived the fantasies they could never have and I am just looking for a lady for friendship to chat with and go on regular dates and do things with when I get home and see how it goes.

      After about 2 weeks of frequent correspondence 50% of those women steered the conversation to relations and ran dow their list of what the will and will not do and what they like and the whole roll and some of them more or less promised to have relations with me when I got home. Well I stayed light in that part of the conversation as I was not on there for that any way, and then talked of other things and soon the ladies (if ya want to call em that) quit writing me altogether, I guess they were really looking for Mr. Right, right tonight.

      I can not stand the way U.S. women are either they complained that everyone was after relations on there, but when they meet a guy like me who does not pursue them for that nor even bring it up bang they are gone. It have been my observation that U.S. women (a lot of them) use relations as a tool to manipulate the man and or control him and since I did not pursue them for that I was rejected more or less for anything else the sensed that their powers of physical relations as a tool or control device were useless against me.

      In the other countries women are approachable friendly, genuine and real, ther are horror stories of some guys I know who have taken Russian, Asian and other nationality wifes but then they met those women as well working girls in the first place you can not turn those in to house wifes, and ther view of men and relationships are distorted from their occupation, and so they take the guy for a ride and the money then it goes bad. So internet women and so on not the best bet, best to meet in a real place for real.

      1. Girls who use their body to amass power will fall eventually in life based on the laws of Karma and love. If you are meeting American women who use their physical bodies to manipulate men, even on a subtle unconscious level, this power play will backfire. I am sure of it.

        What you exude at a deep spiritual soul level will eventually play out in the physical world.

        Why do women think they can behave as brainless ‘bad girls’ lets say, when they are young and not have this have repercussions when they are married.

        If a girl is not repentant and does not see her body as to be used to attract real love and a husband, not recreation like a roller coaster and to control men, she is a girl who will be a single mom, with a sad life.

  19. I am an American materialistic, soon to be married to the man I love. As such, it would be extremely easy to be offended by the content and subsequent comments on this website. However, I agree with most of them.

    I am, however an active materialistic and wish to suggest some minor modifications to the statements put forth. Humbleness, wisdom, strength, and faith in God are essential for both parties. This was mentioned, but the context was in the format of “what a bride should be” rather than what what “you should be” It is imperative that both parties activly nurture these traits in themselves before they can seek out a partner. Women are biologically suited for different roles than men, as such, childres naturally require more nurturance from the mother. However, I hope that in the future you may suggest how having a strong and-dare I say- oppinionated mother as a role model may aid in the development of independant and intellectual children- boys included. I am proud of the author in what he has done by postulating the most important attributes in a woman, I only wish he would begin with the personal responsibility of the seeker of the bride first. Also, the comments on generalizing american and/or femminist women are very unfair and hurtful. I guarantee you will find some of the best qualites in both these types of women, “screaming” excluded.

    1. Do not mean to offended at all, sorry and I can learn from what you are saying. I think you are 100% right, humility, wisdom, strength, and most of all faith is something both equal partners should have and grow with.

      If my reply is rambling it is because my alpha child daughter woke me up in the middle of the night and was walking around the house and wanted mental stimulation. My wife and I are just betas, she is an alpha child. I am exhausted. 🙂

      I have always thought the man should have humility and wisdom also. Prideful, arrogant men are very distasteful as are women. It is the same for husband and wife. I believe men and women are equal in God’s eyes and we all suffer and have the same human problems to overcome, equally but with a slightly different set up obstacles. Some people say it is better to be a man. Others say it is better to be a woman. I think it is the same as God is neither man nor woman love. And for us as humans in marriage and me as a husband to grow towards God I need to learn humility. I need to say I do not have the answers. My wife, who is my equal I totally am here to help on her spiritual journey in life as she is for me.

      However, as an American guy, and other guys will back me up on this American girls are raised to be self confident. Which is a good thing. I have a daughter and want her to believe in herself. However, society has taken this too far and it is no longer about self-confidence which some American girls have but arrogance, pride, selfishness. They treat men very poorly and will never know how to be a good wife. While men are the bad guys in society. This is not true. My male friends are wise and humble do not sleep around. They are dating to find a wife. I am equally for women and men. It is very hard to find a wife in western society that has humility and wisdom and faith. This is why I recommend guys open their minds to all of the world, and not feel they have to settle for a girl largely molded by her society.
      I am not a cultural determinst. I believe in free will. But American women in many cases cause men a lot of pain and trouble in marriage because their self-confidence is taken to a point of pride. Pride comes before the fall. Of course they do not even know it.
      So why not just marry someone like from Poland, why I live where the women have a radically different way of seeing the world and marriage. You only have one life and you might as well try to be happy. This is why if you want to find a wife I recommend guys not to only look with American women.
      Men need to be a true prince and rescue the bride in every sense of the word, mostly help her spiritual. American women find the idea of being resuced offenses, genereally. Not my cup tea.

  20. To Naughty,
    You said a lot of good things, but also some totally bogus and inaccurate things:

    1. Israel (Not Isreal), is not of anglo-saxon origin.. Oh my God, how on earth did Israel become an anglo-saxon countries? Most of the people in Israel , are Mizrachi, which aare the Jews of hte Middle East, Persia, Turkey. The other large amount of Jews are Ashkenazi who come from Eastern Europe, the Caucuses, and a smaller minority from Germany, France, Austria, etc. Very few JEws actually came from England, my grandfather being one. But guess what, his parents were born in Poland, not ENgland! A majority of Jews originated from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Poland, Middle East (Morocco, Libya, Tunisia, Iraq, ALgeria, Palestine, Egypt, Yemen, Iran, etc). Tell me are these anglo-saxon countries???

    Please do some research before you start make such ignorant and blanketed statements.

    2. The form of men is better than women and always has been. Iknow Mrs. Feminist will puke on me for saying htis, but I feel men are magnificent, benevolent, courteous, brave and compassionate. When the little lady was crying or if her life is in danger, the man wo0uld risk everything to save the, usually, ungrateful woman. Of course, that is the selfless nature of men. Women, in the modern world, especially, seem to make neverending demands that cannot be satisfied. Women have a more childlike mentality and have always required men to keep them in line.

    This is not to say that there is not a fair share of stupid men who have given a bad name to all men. Seeing that men are becoming emasculated and dominating by the selfish decrees of cold-hearted feminazis, more and more men in this modern age are becoming drugged old, feminized losers. Many men now are too scared to become a father or stick with a woman, due to the position of inferiority and the emotional trauma he must face under the dominion of an uncontrollable and belligerent female-dictator.

  21. what do you say about women from Pakistan generally, what do you know about them? It seems to me that generally women from the countryside part of some countries tend to be more traditional…and Islam generally teaches them good from an early age.

  22. Obviously you cannot handle a strong, self confident woman who has her own identity and life. All your criteria require a woman to be submissive to you…how sad you are.

    I think the writer of this blog just proved his point by your comment. Congratulations in proving that he his absolutely correct in his view.

    1. ‘Cannot handle a strong, self confident woman’ – Since when did handling a woman ever have anything to do with love and finding your princess? What about hand in glove romance and finding your one and only? Why is everything competition. I do not want to handle any women. I want to live in peace with my princess and wife.

  23. +1 To Mark.. Maybe the foolish women who say that cannot handle a strong and self-confident man!

    RSM.. Please give it up already with that phony baloney strong, self-confident woman crap. What you mean, is self-righteous and arrogant woman.

  24. I really appreciate that you have posted such a wonderful article that referred to specific definition of best wife with clear explanation and procedure to find her out. I agree with most of the things that you have mentioned and that was what we used to view as nature of human life. I am a Japanese man studying abroad in UK since last year.
    Unfortunately, majority of women especially who live in the cities have been already assimilated to modern western value such as feminism, materialism,money and title worship,self-interest and egoism and negation of altruism etc and they despise wonderful tradition,culture,philosophy
    and wisdom that we have inherited from our ancestor in Japan.Only minority people who live in the countryside still preserve those values.
    I would like to get married with an appropriate woman for connecting history of my family with my descendant. By the way, I am looking forward to seeing your new article.

    1. The women who adhere and embrace the values of feminism and materialism swindle themselves out of their own happiness in relationships. They do not know it until it is too late and much of their life is over.
      However, guys that are aware of what is going on will have the opportunity to make a more conscious decision about finding their wife.
      It is too bad what you say about Japan. I thought at this juncture Japan still had large traditional elements still in tact and wisdom was being transmitted to the next generation. But I guess I am wrong.
      But again the good news if you are aware of these sociological changes, then you can still find the girl in your dreams even without a time machine.

  25. Hi admin, wonderful article which is harmonious with true nature and takes a real men to write.
    Bravo and well said on the ideals of a good wife.
    Absolutely most feminism is geared towards mimicking the ideals of a play chess withed man and claiming to be on par with man, developing a super ego, looking at men as thrashes and opponent. This is majority of America.

    Unfortunately, many countries are following suit of american materialistic ideals.

    For India, a sick number of indian women are following the ideals of these ugly, inferior,egoistic ideals. If one wanna indian wife, its betta to seek from sub-urban areas, which is usually difficult for a non-indian. If u r looking at places like mumbai, chennai or bangalore, forget abt getting a homely, pure, moral disciplined woman. Most are trading such immortal ideals for inferior and articial lifestyle of the barbaric west.

  26. I am all for female development, self confidence, if its build upon respect for men, and MOST importantly, development which FIRST glories female purity. This was also the call by Swami Vivekananda from India many yrs ago. For indian wife, important qualities based upon culture and religious ideals are- chastity (body for one man only), abstinence from alcohol, tobacco,other recreational drug,humility, honesty, compassionate and respectful. This is not woman, but a part of divinity. Only a woman like her will have the grace of god. This is the truth of the scriptures.

    1. How about one man for one woman only? Not good, ha? How about virginity tests for both? Why the double standard?
      Career is a no-no, right? Better be humble and adore the bread-winning hero.

      Here’s the “bible”, snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

      I am a software engineer able to support myself and others; I love to create software and it took me lots of years to accumulate this skill
      I ride motorcycles
      I love to travel, read, learn new skills, accumulate knowledge
      I believe in a Creator but not in any organized religion
      I am involved in charity work in my home country of Romania.
      I am just as proud of myself for accomplishing these things, as I would be (and am!) of anybody else doing the same stuff
      Slim, I’d say pretty, btw what is the physique of all these men looking for beautiful slim model-like wives?
      In a LTR (not marriage!) with somebody who likes the same things and does not feel threatened by me having the same passions – in fact I’d say he loves me BECAUSE of these things
      I cook BUT he does the dishes/cleaning, not expecting me to meet his mess “just because he has the ”
      And if/when we have kids, you BET he will have his fair share of diaper changes
      I will not be subservient because I happen to be of the “weak gender”, a relationship either works because of shared interests/good meshing of personalities or does not work, period.

      How will you mold your alpha-daughter into a subservient wife, ready to “sacrifice anything for love”? Love is not a sacrifice to be made, love is when BOTH can be the best person they want to be, and encourage each others/ dreams. Otherwise you have a slave not a partner.

      My personality happens to be alpha. Y’all do not like alpha women. Fine. Get yourself partners who are happy to be what you want them to be, plenty of fish in the Eastern ponds indeed. But noo, you have to go farther, label “screaming materialistics” because they happen to be different from what YOU want… Self-entitled much? My way or bash a whole gender on a whole continent.

      But hey, what do I know… I am just a screaming materialistic that dares to have an opinion and thus misses out on the good stuff in life.

      1. The ideal is one man for every women. However, life is complex and I do not hold anyone to that standard. Think about what Jesus taught about forgiveness and the person who has the right to cast the first stone. God is not a man in a white beard looking at everyone’s gorgans of propagation.
        Purity is what is a person’s heart.

  27. The materialistic have mess up this country. 60% of women here have been divorce and 60% have baby with different men. The talk about step family like it norm. The is no love from women that want to be just like men.

    I do want to mention that I have no problem with women working and helping there family with moneys. But when a women only needs a man to have a baby and then have him removed from his family with family court system of America. You would be crazy to enter a legal contract of marriage in the USA.

    Make yourself happy marry abroad.

    1. Chris, in America marriage is a legal or business contract in many if not most cases. I refuse to live on those terms. And if you look at it objectively who would enter in that type of legal contract if the man has little rights.
      If you want true love I again would consider living abroad.

  28. +1 to Divyesh, Chris and Mark the Admin…

    What all you guys wrote is true and I take it to heart.

    To Divyesh:
    Thanks for your information about Indian women. I have many times contemplated on marrying a woman from India but I came to the conclusion it would be very hard like you say. IT is true most modern Indian women are trying to emulate the ideals of western feminism and are exchanging their beautiful traditional culture for a more selfish, egocentric and superficial American way of life. These girls want to empower themselves and feel that indulging in forbidden activities, hating the male gender as well as pursuing financial goals and a career, along with distancing themselves from a family life is the way to success and accomplishment. It seems many modern Indian girls, with their many master degrees/phds rely heavily on their traditional mothers to raise their children for them. Many of them don’t even learn how to be mothers, but depend on the past generation to do what they should be doing.

    It is true there are many traditional, loving and homely Indian girls, but sadly they are not accessible to white, foreign men like myself. The caste system, religion and remote locations of the more traditional girls makes it very challenging for American or European men to find a good Indian wife. Basically, the Indian women who would be interested in us would be perhaps even more materialistic and power hungry then our Western women back home. As I said in earlier posts, I find many eastern women who try to imitate the women of the West, to be sometimes even more unscrupulous then Western women, themselves.

    By the way, I live in a neighborhood in USA that has many wealthy and Americanized Indians who work in IT. I live in a very big IT area. Even my landlords come from the Indian subcontinent. Also, I know quite a bit about India and Indians, besides the fact they live around me.

    Namaste yaar .. Aapse milikar khusee Hui.

  29. @Yonatan
    It’s true mate. I am a tamil guy born and living in Singapore. Even in Singapore the indian gals are ty. In india it is just as worst. BUT the worst thing is that some of this low ideals women masquerade themselves as traditional,homely woman, when they have no respect for their chastity and partake in loose forbidden activities.

    I tell you if Vivekananda or Poet Bharathi were alive, they would have condemned these woman now who are trading purity for everything else.

    India is the land which gave spirituality, code of conduct for living to the world. And yet, these shameless creatures are pawning purity and dignity in the name of westernal idealism, and prostituting the glories of eternal values. In that sense, India is seriously nearing complete destruction in metropolitan cities. If you wanna marry such indian gals, u r betta off marrying a US woman. After 3 generations from now, when the truly traditional indian woman dies, India is going to have a cultural void. Everything will move towards western ideals.

    It is such a irony that guys are seeking values nowadays whereas woman are becoming void of values.
    God save us.

  30. I find this article and the comments on it to be small minded and verging on resit. You ask to be treated like a hero but have no intention of acting like one. You want a woman who is thin and will idolise you. This makes me think you must be incredibly shallow. Never in your article do you mention the need for a life partner who you can simply get on with.
    As for the idea that women in other countries such as Asia are easier to have a relationship with than say their UK or America counterparts this is simply because they are poorer than you. I am sure when they realised you washed your clothes in a sink they would quickly leave.

    1. I guess my first question is are you married?
      I believe in love and marriage. Many people who oppose what I write simple are not married themselves and will have a hard time finding someone because they lack an understanding what marriage is about. Marriage is about surrender, from both the man and the woman.
      If a man wants to marry a woman that is humble with spiritual qualities rather than flashy like NYC girl, why does upset you?
      If a man does not a girl who is excessive in consumption why is that bad?
      I disagree with your money argument. I personally know rich and poor from many countries who have good values. It does not matter where they are from or their background.
      However, if I was an American man or UK guy I would be open to the idea that maybe, just maybe, you do not have to only look for your princess in the girl next door. Rather your wife, like mine was, is waiting on the other side of the world.
      I believe the world is full of opportunities and countries boarders are the last think you should limit yourself in when seeking your one and only wife and true love.

  31. @Catherine – So according to you, being a hero would be embracing a selfish, arrogant, rude, egoistical woman and giving your all to her? And if I marry such a woman would make me more broad minded and courageous? Sorry, true love never works in that way. True love is build upon humility, chastity, self respect and dignity. Seeking the kind of woman which I and many others envisage over here certainly never requires shallow ideals. It demands in depth ideals, which would only be revealed to you in Silence and when you truly realize the real qualities which are important to marriage.

    “Never in your article do you mention the need for a life partner who you can simply get on with.” – I think this is far more cheap and shallow. Living with someone with no thoughts and ideals on what kind of person is he or she, treating them to be some hand picked object, with the way you are casually putting it, shows that life is to be lived with materialism and what fits to your impulses and having no ideals.

    I am sure growing up with ethical and spiritual virtues is a question of upbringing and self understanding. Although money can control someone, a man of ethical virtues will never let money control him.

    I personally also have seen ladies from rich backgrounds who are virtuous and upright in ideals. And for your info, I have seen poor gals even in Asia behaving like US,UK rogue women. All because of false sense of confidence and aping cheap glamour.

  32. Im American and I believe in all these things listed my the author.

    Faith in God
    Forgiveness – a good wife might say I am sorry all the time. I do.
    Believes in fairy-tales – someone who is idealistic about life, if you want a princess you need someone who believes in fairy-tales not some trashy post modern girl. I still read romantic books. If your girlfriend has never read romantic books, I would get a new girlfriend.
    Is irresistibly attractive for you. Find someone who is cordial for you and you are cordial for. It is biology. You do not to be an alpha guy, those guys are very primitive. Better is having charm, this is attractive no matter what you look like.
    Believes in you. Is totally impressed by you and your are her one and only hero. Find a bride that is looking for a prince or hero to rescue her.
    Believes in being humble and submissive. I will raise some eye brows with this, but it is the truth. Find a wife who is humble. Love means you submit your ego to your beloved and will to bear all hard things. Anyone who does not humble themselves is not worthy to be called a ‘lover’.
    Find a wife who knows how to cook and clean. A good wife wants to keep her husband happy, what is wrong with this?
    Will be a good mother. More important than any good employee for her boss in her profession is a good mother to her children. Being a mother and a wife is the most important job on the planet. Women lawyers are perhaps the worst choice in finding a good wife for example as they try to balance career and family. Ha ha. Do you not know, family is almost the most important thing? Forget balancing or juggling in most cases these two things. I would rather live in a 300 sq foot flat with my family than make work my priority. I live in Poland, people are happy in their family lives with little money and in the USA I see many people who are unhappy with a lot of money. Make sure your wife puts family first, as you do.
    Is not a spender
    Find a bride that does not want to change you. Does not hassle you. Love does not alter which it finds. The worst women is one that says he won’t change. This is a nightmare twisted woman, get away from this type.
    Believes there is no reason to leave a marriage. Divorce is not an option. Either you are in forever and swear this before God or you are not. Marriage is sacred.
    Loves you with all her heart and will all the days of your life.
    I think being humble sums all the above up. She should be grateful to be with you and will spend the rest of her life showing you her gratitude. This is what you look for to find a good wife.

  33. Funny thing is, that many AMERICAN guys dont want these types. I know American men who want to stay home and have their wife support them. I know a huge amount of AMERICAN MEN who riducule their AMERICAN WIVES for trying to go to church, be a Christian and keep GOD in their family.

    These same ugly AMERICAN men also cheat around on their wives while they are at work all day supporting their lazy cheating husbands.

    So you see the knife cuts both ways. The decent nice American men are few and far between.

  34. P.S. I was raised by mother who had all these moral and beliefs you have listed. My father, sadly, would leave her and cheat on her and abuse her. She beleived in the sacredness of marriage so much she stuck by him and forgave him. He has since become a Christian and treats her much better but my point is, that if my AMERICAN/German mother had these strong beliefs and morals, they obviously influenced my morals, then there has to be other people out there with similar American mothers who taught then the same values and moral.

    Being German, my mother is a wonderful cook and meticulous with cleaning. I learned this from a young age and would help her. I help her clean and cook to this day as she is getting older. I am very close to family and believe that one should help their parents and family. There has to be more out there like me. Its sad so many girls have spoiled things for the rest of us.

  35. Even here in Colombia(Latin-America), many women want to have a life like “hollywood” and feminism is getting stronger and stronger as our government follows US policies when it comes to gender. So much materialism and shallowness. Most good women are indigenous ones who aren’t spoiled by the media and consumerism but not usually allowed to marry outside of their community.

    1. The world is changing and I do not know how it will all turn out. I do know I found my princess and wife. I think that what happens is about 1/2 the girls corrupted with shallow thinking and 1/2 return to some sort of ideals. The same goes for men. I think each society will find an equilibrium point. So as much as the world changes, even in the USA there are some nice girls with good values, like many of the girls who comment here.
      However, you are right, it is becoming more difficult. This is why the best is to find a girl in her 20s who has not been corrupted by the world too much, perhaps a student or someone who is thoughtful and aware of the social changes in the world and chooses to be true to her values. This is how you find a wife.

  36. Divorce is not an option? So when the man cheats on the traditional, good wife, divorce should not be an option? Interesting perspective there.

    Find a young girl in her twenties not corrupted by the world? Another male excuse for finding a younger girl, who has had fewer other men inside her. Truth be told, you’re better off waiting for an older woman, to see Just how much the world did manage to corrupt her, as she lived her life. If she’s 30 and still maintains a decent amount of spirituality, she’s a much safer bet.

    The only thing I would advise a young (or old) man to look for when looking for a wife, is look for one who will be friendshipually faithful, everything else is negotiable or can be fixed with love, but nothing can ever be repaired an incident of cheating. S_xual fidelity it what separates a relationship from just another friendship. And of course, the more spirituality and altruism a girl has the better. However all of these characteristics should be present in the man as well. Women are not objects that are to be had, but then not reciprocated!

    1. Find someone who will be loyal. It is easy enough to do. Leap with your heart but screen with your head. I know for a fact for example I will not cheat on my wife. 100% certain. I have other friends like this. I know other people that say they will not cheat but might. Use your head and go for someone with strong values that when the first storm comes, you know their house is not built on sand.

  37. I totally agree with your post and I am glad someone has finally told the truth about love and marriage. Jesus Christ has to be the center of the marriage and agape love and fidelity is the substance that keeps a marriage strong and the man and wife together. A man needs to be her hero and rock and she needs to be the damsel in distress.

    Once again, thank you for a great article that sheds light on one of the most important relationships we will ever have in our lives, marriage.

    1. Thank you, I think this way and I live it or try to. I think he is the way, the path and the gate. If you have a love centered marriage with agape and fidelity you like I, will have a happy life.

  38. A wife is a unique for every man in the world. Because I think every man should place the title in top priority in his life. A man can build strong because of the wife.Wife is the new birth to every man.Without a wife there is no any development for a man.In children, a Home ,a family and a perfect life. Every one of these issues in life of a man can obtain because of the wife. Every man should be treat his wife lovely and caring way. I’m still single person who is looking for my wife. I know one thing that is I will be loved to my wife other than any thing in this world. I live for love and love for live. Love is my life,peace is my meditation, home is my satisfaction, Wife is my journey of success.

  39. Men don’t need women, women don’t need men.
    No one has to be married or in love or in a relationship. Why is there so much premium placed on this?

    Do you realise that fairy-tales are patriarchal propoganda? Real life isn’t a fairy-tale. The characters are only symbols and the supposed values can easily be instilled in young children by making the symbols of good accept them as correct. It’s a kind of betrayal, and I go through life clear-minded after I rejected codswallop like religion and unrealistic stories. “Fairy-tale princessess” are featureless ideals, and the princes are nothing to write home about. The only cool things about fairy-tales are the evil queens or the wicked witches.

    Women don’t need to be rescued. If they are encouraged as children to fight for themselves, you wouldn’t have to run around after them pretending to be a “hero”. What are you saving her from, exactly? Her marriage-less, man-less life? Is it a physical threat? Financial?
    Teach your daughter to stand up for herself, and to use her fists. Don’t try to encourage her to be lady-like, it’s a great disservice. I had to fight my way through primary school. I was the only girl in the class, and guess what, the “majestic”, “noble” boys broke my spirit. I’m quite sure that’s what the majority of men want.

    Cook and clean? 1950’s. I thought we had moved on. Is that what you mean when you say American women treat you badly? They want you to do the dishes and cook or wash the floor from time to time? As I understand it, marriage is give and take, not take and take more.
    Being a mother is the most important job on the planet? – this has to be revised. We are 6 billion people on earth. We breed and destroy unchecked. Stop making more people. Many of the world’s problems can be solved by the decrease in our numbers. For our physical size, there should be less of us.

    Women want jobs in order to be independent, to earn an honest living – can you imagine being stuck between 4 walls with five screaming kids, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, until you have aged forty years and you have grown heftier? I’d prefer having a job to living imprisoned by my own spawn. Why do you think we want jobs solely for the money? We might actually enjoy what we’re doing. Nowadays, money is your lifeline. Better to be financially stable and miserable than poor and miserable.

    Maybe, we should turn our attention outwards. We’re so blinded and blinkered by the imagined need for others that we live in a seething human hell and we never wake up and realise that nature offers us the only honesty we could ever get. Humans are a jaded subject, and marriage is one of our best farces.

    1. What you are saying is way off base. Marriage is normal, healthy and a joy. I have been single and I am married, there is no comparison. Marriage is a zillion times better. My wife says so too. We both humble ourselves and serve each other and the marriage becomes a unity of something greater.
      We have a daughter and she is our joy and she needs both her parents.

      I left my professional career so I could be with my family full-time. I would rather live in a shack and be with the ones I love than spend my short time in this universe working in corporate America trying to find validation in my career. If you want to work for another man’s wife, knock yourself out. I recommend it only if you have to pay the bills, that I understand, but to develop an ideology around ‘working for another man’s wife’ instead of your family first is off base.

      If you want to be a ‘strong woman’ and rebel against your family that needs a mother and wife do it, but I think it is shameful.
      My mother had five kids and we were screaming and she gave up her career but she said it was her greatest joy. You will be swindling yourself out of your greatest happiness if you define yourself by some ridiculous materialistic propaganda. Many but not all American women are programmed to self destruct because they follow materialistic ideas.
      You look these same women up and they realize their career is a joke and they get layed off or pushed aside they are 40 and single and live in a house full of cats and gain weight and are angry at men.
      I am telling you this. Life is about love.
      What is the meaning of life? Love.
      Your one and only reason for being on earth is love.

      Do you remember A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens when Scrooge turns to Jacob Marley and say ‘Jacob, you were always a good man of business’. Jacob turns to Scrooge and says ‘Mankind is your business’.

      That is a fact. Your purpose here is to serve and humble yourself to others. Not to take your God-given beauty and intellect and make it some ego trip. Love is about caring and loving, especially children. Children need a mother’s love.

      Oh and one more thing. I live in Eastern Europe. I think you over-estimate the value of material success. Here in Eastern Europe some people do not have running water and they live on a couple hundred dollars a month. Yet they have grandparents and parents that love them. The whole extended family lives in the same house as them, even if the house has ten people and one bathroom and five people sleep in a room. They seem pretty happy to me.

      Yet in stark contrast, I meet many career strong independent American women who are in counseling or are on antidepressants. And no we really do not have psychiatry here, except for extreme cases. We have families.

      And no we do not leave our aging parents in homes so we can live our lives carefree. We take care of each other with love and kindness.
      I am sorry but the values you are promoting are not in accordance with the teachings of Jesus.

  40. Does it occur to you that I’m not living according to anyone else’s ideals? I live according to what I want, which isn’t selfish, because it’s everyone out there for himself.

    Marriage isn’t the be all and the end all. It isn’t about love either. Marriage first started as a political strategy to unite nations or kingdoms. It had nothing at all to do with love, but somebody decided to drag religion into it, and suddenly, everything is about weepy peace and love.

    You come across as a staunchly religious person. Perhaps I should respect you for believing in some sort of higher power, but so far, God’s fan club has been one of the most ludicrous things ever thought out by man. Jesus was a man, no doubt a good man, who lived 2000 years ago. I have nothing to do with him, and he has nothing to do with me. His values and those of his followers are their way of life. I am agnostic, because I have never been blinded by the weird beliefs of people following a creed which has been created to control them.

    That’s what religion is. It was created, firstly, because we have the capacity for abstract thought and we make things up. God is the result of the imaginations of people long ago, the same way that we can imagine fiction, the same way we can create ourselves a god. Secondly, religion was implemented by people in a higher social position to control their subordinates. It’s mankind’s ego, nothing more and nothing less. No doubt you think I’m going to burn for ever in some kind of hell, but that’s also just man’s idea that the good must be rewarded and the bad punished.

    I’m not a materialistic, and I don’t let propoganda get under my skin. I might sound like a materialistic, but you class every woman who wants to live as a materialistic. Being alone is a choice I made, because I want to be alone. I want to work and do something. I wasn’t born to serve anybody. Life doesn’t have a meaning. Life happened because of a series of events long ago when the earth was young. Why complicate it? You are born, you live a while, you die, you rot in the soil, your flesh becomes part of the earth and smaller creatures consume your remains, and the cycle begins again. Humans are limited and linear. You envision your life in highs and lows, with a big bonus at the end. Major religions believe you are rewarded just for living.

    I’ve begun to see life as a circle. I accept that I’ll die and be forgotten. I have no regrets about this. I’m an insignificant link.

    I choose to spend my life doing something that I love, whether it’s flying a plane or being an artist. I’ve no intention of developing an idealogy around work – I’m not a workaholic. I live too. But spending your life trying to raise kids? It’s surviving, not living. I want to live, not survive.

    I’m not trying to be a “strong woman”. I have simply realised it’s everyone for himself. I don’t want anyone to force me to do anything. That’s why I feel sorry for a woman who thinks it’s her greatest joy in life when her husband orders her to bring him a beer. Mankind is not my business. There’s way more to the world than pleasing other people, who don’t give a toss anyway.

    People and relationships with them isn’t my greatest joy. I’m glad I realised this before I started one because I felt “obliged”, because it’s what everyone is doing. Being a loner isn’t so bad. We’re partially herd animals, that’s why everyone blubs and scrape their wrists off when they realise they’re “alone”. But, I don’t want to be a sheep, I want to be the lone wolf eyeing them from a distance. Many people get married while they should not. Marriage is unwise in many ways, because people get incorpulentuated and they marry, then the incorpulentuation wears off.

    Reason for being on earth is to love? Really? We’re all just vessels for energy. To be alone is to be free.

    1. Celeste just because I disagree, does not mean I do not appreciate your point of views. However, I am writing for people who believe in love and marriage. If people are cynical about love and marriage, it is their loss. They are not living life to the fullest. Marriage is a state of bliss. I live my ideal and fairy-tale. I spend 24/7 with my wife and daughter. I have done this for years. Marriage is a fairy-tale. I am just telling people to find the your one and only.
      For people who are jaded and negative, I can not help them other than hope they someday see that the universe is love.

      About God, just because Freud has articulated like Marx or Feuerbach, that God is a projection, does not mean anything. God’s existence or none existence does not depend on what you think. Your projection of nothingness could be the falsehood. How do you know it is not? It might be an existential nihilistic fantasy, and you get a lot of juice from living it?

      What we do know is no matter how deep we try to understand the mysteries of the Universe with science we can not answer the question about the fundamental meaning of our existence. Why is there something and not nothing? Why is there a universe at all?

      The way you characterize me is like a paper tiger. It is like a person who thinks all people who have faith are fundamentalists. It is a primitive understanding of the matter?

      Each person must answer about life if it is meaningful or it means nothing. I vote that there is a purpose for our existence, suffering and struggles on this earth and that life is a mystery.

  41. You’re going to think I’m nuts, but the only way that we could get a real idea about religion is to get an animal’s opinion, because they can’t imagine fiction.

    You agree it’s true that we can think up extraordinary stories? This is imagination, and it is both our strength and undoing. People throughout the ages have thought up gods and religions, and why Christianity or any major religion is deemed different, I don’t understand. For some reason, the improbable stories told during the middle ages about unicorns and dragons and witches and countries where people’s heads grew beneath their shoulders are dismissed as hogwash, but a story about a talking snake offering unclad people a fruit and a man who had arisen from the dead and walked on water is blindly accepted. But I know I can’t help you see how absurd this is – Christians have never paid much attention to me. And being a labeled a Satanist for questioning things don’t help me like Christians any more. Read “Circles in a Forest” by Dalene Mathee, that book should explain to you my dilemma. I think and I think differently, but I’m an outcast. It’s a brilliant book, also.

    My nothingness is real because there is nothing more than what you see or perceive. I know people want more because life is too simple. You live, you die. But people want to be rewarded for living. Of course I have no idea whether a great invisible entity which leaves no evidence of its existence is running my life, but I can’t bear to be misled. I can really only believe what I see and experience.

    Life has no meaning, but many people choose to believe it does because it gives them a sense of purpose in life. Life happens, like many other meaningless things. The universe isn’t love, because there is so much discord. It’s just the way things are.

    I didn’t mean to make you look like a fundamentalist, it’s just the way religion makes its followers sound. It’s the way you guys believe in values that are ancient and you reject anything that doesn’t fit in with the framework of your faith. I’ve had very bad dealings with religious people, and they all sing the same song (I shouldn’t generalise, I know) and it amazes me how resolute they are. If you, as I did, mention evolution or science, they either tell you you’re stupid or on your way to becoming the main feature on the devil’s grill.

    We can’t understand everything with science, but can we get any further with religion?

    1. Science explains the how or the mechanism but not the why and what everything is about. That is the more important question. Why are you so sure that life is about nothing? What if it is not?
      How can you be sure?
      Think back on your life and how it has unfolded and all your experiences and relationships that have brought you to this point. Is this some sort of accident?
      Try not to think of it in traditional terms.
      Think of it as either:
      A fundamental trust
      or
      A fundamental doubt
      What are you living in terms of your life and your relationships and your view of love?

  42. I think I am just too realistic. It’s not that something has gone seriously wrong in my life – I’m actually lucky, because I have never been hijacked, robbed or raped or tortured. Perhaps because of these possibilities I tend not to believe in invisible things. If you think about it, the only thing that is going to help you survive is your will to live and your ability to survive by trusting in your abilities and relying on your instinct. If you needed help urgently, prayer won’t get you anywhere. I’m quite sure there is nothing more – as far as I know, nobody has ever proved the existence of deities.

    1. Golly Celeste. Why can’t I meet a girl like you. Reading your words was like deja-vu. It is surreal reading my thoughts, but from someone else’s mind. You and I could probably talk into the sunrise. Where are girls like you in the real world?

  43. What countries to you recommend as far as Indian girls and Latin girls. I’m looking to take a trip to one of these places very soon.

  44. Hi, interesting reading the many views and individual perceptions of religion, women and marriage.
    If I were inclined to get married I would propose to Celeste!
    Celestes comments and thoughts so closely mirror mine that I could have written them.
    Celeste, if you are ever in the Uk, look me up, I’m sure we would have a laugh.
    I hope lifes infinately varied tapestry treats you well.
    steve

  45. A woman must have faith in god to be a good wife? What about people who don’t believe in god?

  46. How naive someone can be in his 30-40, so far from reality, and with so fair tails dreams, pretending he knows something in the field women. One is for sure if you go in a country that is poor, don’t expect love from a women!!! she needs and is looking for a better live, that is all, and you can not blame her. So first thing that all of you have to remember always and don’t forget the rest of the world is not the USA, and life in Eastern Europe, Russia, Romania blah-blah is rough and women are very very smart and you are for us like an open book, without any difficulty we know how to approach you what to tell you and how to behave to charm, and latter, oh well don’t get upset if you are messed around, obviously that’s what you are looking for, good luck. Olga from Eastern Europe lol on your dummy psychology and knowledge about women.

    1. Olga why has life become so bitter for you?
      You think I am naive? Actually I see that about you. You are not aware of what life is about. Why we are here and what is the meaning of life.
      When my wife met was living in an 18 meter flat washing my clothes in the sink. I told her I was staying in Eastern Europe forever and not going to the USA. She loved me based on who I was as I did. I had no car and wearing old clothes.Love is not about money or being clever.
      We now live on tropical island but that is another story.

      I do not know what wworld you are from but I know scores of American and British expats living in East Europe in a modest economic life. My friend Patrick lives in a 32 mete flat with his wife and two children. I know many Russian, Romanian, Polish guys building their own homes in the countryside with cars and nice life.

      When you say life is hard what do you mean? It is Europe, not Africa or India or Pakistan. So explain to me why you think this way?

      I was born in the USA but I am also a Polish citizen with family in Ukraine, and lived in Europe a good part of my life, Eastern Europe. It is a beautiful place. Just because wages are not what they are in London or NYC does not mean everything is wrong and bad and everyone is out to cheat you. In fact, as an Eastern European (and American) am slightly offended by you suggesting women are only sharks. They are not. Most believe in love. I am sorry your life is not a fairy-tale but maybe it is because we all create our own reality.

      This reality includes our love and economic life.
      I think the first think people can do to change their reality is everyday thank God for everything they have.
      If you are in ill-health or have economic problems, that God with all your heart that you have this gift of life. Thank him for the good you do have in your life.
      Then ask God to help you have the wisdom to see the world not as you want to see it but through the eyes of our father in heaven. Offer your suffering up.
      Gradually change your attitude to be aligned with good rather than the dark side of negativity, cynicism and loss of meaning. It is easy to go to the dark side but resist and build up good energy by praying for those in your life, in your past in your present in your future. Try to pray for those who have hurt you and wish good on them.
      This will dislodge a lot of bad Karma that keeps people stuck in negativity.

  47. the first difference is the text you wrote, it is too long, and boring to read for a eastern European. second i don’t have patience and time to respond third time on bull that you write with so confidence, i am not trying to attack you telling you the real face of the “beauty” that you try to induce so hard in readers brain, not your fault and that is why you have your own audience,i just found amused what you think, because i used to think like this too and my society thinks like this until a certain age 17-23, before they face the real world ..i don’t feel like explaining to you the cultural and brainwash differences between continents it would take me weeks, but i wish you good luck in writing your guide for dummies, may be you are going to be smart enough to write a book about this or put advertising on your blog, at least your waist of time is going to be useful and will bring you money that would be so attractive for the women that you disparately look for,or for God’s employees (i noticed you are a lot into) that also need somehow always money from charity..
    trust me i enjoyed to talk to you and be careful of what you are wishing for, dreams usually are becoming material.

  48. Olga, you are my type of girl. I love your comment. Even though Admin has lived in EE for a long time he clearly still does not get EE culture. I’m EE but was ripped away from my homeland as a child and forced to grow up in this false world called USA. Anyway who cares, my point is you are on the money. You get it and I love that about you.

    1. You are way off and I do not know which culture you are from, but the people I associate with are not like that at all. I suggest you make better friends. You will always have people that marry for money in every culture but this is not the rule. Further, how is your life so hard?

  49. Don’t worry I have a wonderful life, exactly what you are dreaming, with healthy dreams and priorities.

    1. I am not worried at all, but you prove my point. You are most likely from Eastern Europe but have a nice life. It is a beautiful place to live in many respects, so for you to charaterize Eastern European girls that way is a too broad stroke of the brush. They in my experience are family oriented and have faith and are loyal. Maybe your are talking about some metro Moscow girls, who embrace the scientic materialism from their indoctrination during communism, girls who have no belief in God, and live only for primative motives. These girls can not expand their awareness to something greater than themselves. But not most girls from Romania to Poland to Lviv to Ternopil, these are mostly good humble girls that want their life to be filled with love.

  50. I am a girl from Russia and I have no idea what you are talking about. Myself and my friends, go to school, respect our parents and live honestly not trying to get some guy based on his income earning potential. That is a silly way to approach life.

    To use people for economic means is not what life is about. If you are young and you see some shoes you want to buy and some guys offered you his company for those shoes would you go for it? I think that is gross if you see the world this way.

    I am looking for love not a sponsor for my next trip to Egypt. I would prefer to stay at home and wait for my true love, looking out the window and combing my hair then try to snake a man because it would give me some benefit.

    1. Hello.

      Olga,

      relgion/politics are stunningley hard to argue against,doesn’t mean they are right, too much money involved.

      Is it worth it, probably and maybe You are ultimately right.
      But at what ‘price’?

      Katya..

      I hope Love comes knocking at your door but I think a major point is to go and look, find and learn new experiences, maybe Love. If you do not try for ‘happiness’ then you can only blame yourself.

      I sincerely hope you finally achieve.

      To have a Real friend is rare, Love even rarer.

      Sorry just my take on life, but, I have no complaints, it is what it is, short.

      Wish you both the best of whatever you may wish for

      steve. Uk

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