When God is not answering prayers for a Soul Mate

People ask me why their prayers are not answered for a soul mate. Why when they visualize nothing is manifest.

I am not going to give you a cliché answer.

Louis de Pointe du Lac: You must know something about the meaning of it all.

Lestat de Lioncourt:  Why? Why should I know these things? Do you know them?

– Interview with a Vampire

The truth is, I do not know. When you pray or visualize you should see something manifest or at least a sign. However, often you get nothing.

“It’s an awful truth that suffering can deepen us, give a greater lustre to our colours, a richer resonance to our words.”

You slide a little bit more into disillusionment and disappointment. You feel prayer or visualization is just one more thing that did not work.  You put them on par with something like trying dating sites, dating apps or even clubbing. In the end nothing works. Why?

Yes, I am sure you can get plenty of dates, and you might have declare your love to someone, even been engaged, but still you are not  married and no soul mate in sight.  Further, to make your disillusionment even worst, you hear a lot of stories of people unhappy in marriages. You hear about break ups after years of marriage.

You might feel regret from all the physical relationships you have had, that did not lead you to the love of your life, and this adds weight to your heaviness.

I am sorry if prayer (or visualization) has not lead you to your soul mate. I know how painful loneliness is, yet hope shire eternal, and the silence of aloneness has deepened you and made you more beautiful, if you do not squared it on a cell phone addiction or other trivial distractions.

Before I give you some ideas on how to find your destiny with prayer, when prayer does not seem to work, let me give you some real life examples when it has worked for me personally.

Prayer is not supernatural wizardry like in Harry Potter, that with an incantation of Expecto Patronum, patronus charm is invoked, but something radically different and more powerful.

Bellow are specific examples of how prayer has moved mountains in my life. These are real verifiable miracles in my life. Maybe they did not violate the laws of science, but they were nothing less then a sign to me that God is here with us living, suffering and like a loving parent leading us to redemption.

Cynics out there can say that my interpretation of the below life events are all a fantasy. For example, it is an anthropomorphic projection ( Feuerbach) or an infantile illusion (Freud) and a function of my psychology, However, my response is:

It is something you have to experience for yourself.

My response is also, to cranks is ‘how is your love life working out for you’?

Below are not tall-tales, but this is me, the author of this site, Mark Biernat. It is my life of intense suffering and pain for many years without end, and how prayer helped me.

Issue in my life and prayer

I have had a lifetime of wondrous events,   I could convey,  that go beyond the scope of this writing, but here are four examples from four categories of life.  I would like to give you examples of God’s action in the areas of:

  1. Medical
  2. Financial
  3. Love
  4. Family

Medical miracle:

I worked at UPS to pay for my university and other physical labor jobs. I injured my back and my knees so bad that even walking in Walmart was not possible unless I was hunched over a shopping cart with my wife helping me. I would work laying down with my computer resting on my chest most of the day. My wife would have to carry my laptop as it was too heavy for my joints.

It was all very tragic. My face even aged because of the non-stop pain. I could not sleep or enjoy my life.

I went to Harvard medical in Boston and saw the best doctor there (everyone says their doctor is the best, but this was a Harvard neurosurgeon), and there was little I he could do, except surgery. Similarly I went to the best surgeon I knew in Europe. The conclusion was unless they were start looking into a back operation/spinal fusion, nothing could be done. But what about my knees and my hip and other parts of my body injured and in pain. Surgeries often have a positive effect for several years, but requires subsequent surgeries on the spine. For example, my friend Jack has had every vertebrae in his back fused except two and a lifetime user of pain medications. Poor Jack, he is highly educated, but lives in an RV trailer in pain. Therefore, I wanted to find a nonsurgical solution.

My life was pain, suffering and lament. There was no out. My life had degenerated to such a point that it lost its sweetness.

To add one more problem to the mix, I had a brain lesion in my pons, a critical area of my brain stem that was symptomatic. It was a cavernous malformation.

My whole centerline from my spine and my brain had issues. This is no light matter.

How my life changed with prayer

I prayed for an answer for a long time.

I believe part of my suffering was to purge our my pride and inordinate desires so I might be a more beautiful person. My ego made me a prideful person.

In fact, during my college days I thought people who were physically ill were basically just weak minded; oh the arrogance of youth.

I thought I was different than others, and judged people. Simultaneously I was jealous, angry at my lot in life and even my parents.

I had ideas like, people who were poor were basically lazy or did not have the brains I had. Wow what an ego I had (have). Maybe you do not have such issues with ego or maybe you do and are not aware of it. My dear friend Stacey said she does not need to go to Church, because she does nothing wrong. Believe me, she needs to go.

This loneliness and physical pain, in my life help remove ideas that were blocking my happiness. I offered my suffering up to God.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. –  1 Corinthians 13:11

It was not until I tried to remove negative thoughts and judgmental feelings and negative emotions that went thought my mind, was the answer revealed to me.

Your cravings as a human animal do not become a prayer just because it is God whom you ask to attend to them. –  Dag Hammarskjöld

Prayer is not magic or supernatural, it will give you what is beyond the imaginable.

How prayer worked for me:

  1. Intention – Have the intention of removing negativity and see these negative circular thoughts almost as a supernatural energy that is feeding off you.  Pray for this metaphorical exorcism if you will. Even if you can not give up the dark side emotions in your heart, having the intention in your head and asking God to remove these is good enough.
  2. Pray for your enemies – Pray for those who have hurt you and wish good to be manifest in their life. Yes, those nasty people, are just like you on a path, even if they are lost. As I walked by people on the street I would try to see their humanity and were they came from.
  3. Pray for  forgiveness.  The first thing I would do when I got up in the morning was as God forgiveness of my sins. Then I would thank God for my blessings.
  4. The Lord give and the Lord takes, blessed be the name of the Lord – I offered my pain and suffering to God said, whatever you give me I will glorify your name, it does not matter.

Oh, do not get me wrong, I am still a petty little angry, resentful person. I spend a lot of time with negative emotion.  But I have the intention of being good and really want to remove these negative attachments from my life.

What happen? – the universe shifted – a mountain moved

I was coming out of Church one day in a small one room church I went to, and I saw a pamphlet, that said, ‘ did you know the Catholic Church approves of stem cells”.  Adipose stem cells that are non-embryonic stem cells come from your body is supported by the Vatican. I really did not know about stem cells. I Googled it.

I found a Doctor in my area. I call him King Julian (not to his face) because he has such a huge ego.

We were not in good financial condition. It did not matter, I put it on my credit card.

I got stem cells, no anesthesia. I just walked in, he took some fat from my stomach (which I did not mind), and three hours latter injected it in my body at various locations.

  • After three months – I thought I was ripped off, with little positive effect and more credit card debt. I kept praying anyway.  I offered  my suffering to God and said, God, whatever you want of me, this is where I am. If I am suffering and in pain, blessed be the name of the Lord.
  • After six months – I told my wife, I feel a little better, today, maybe it is the weather (rather than the stem cells), and was able to pick up some leaves in the yard.
  • After one year something happened – I found myself cutting trees in my backyard and clearing land.  I cleared a field with a shovel, moving logs and rocks.  I use this as my Organic garden today. I was moving mountains.  Twenty years of intense suffering was healed. The stem cells worked.
  • How can I say God did not answer my prayers?

God lead me to the solution. A crazy solution. I mean come on do you know anyone else doing stem cells?  Everyone takes pain medications and operations.

From that physical suffering I have learned humility (some).

I asked God in prayer, that I might be healed, not for me, but so I might work and take care of my family better.

  • No esoteric healing involved, however, I went from basically disabled to 21 forever, in a year. Who does this happen to? What do you think?

Financial miracle

When I re-immigrated to the USA after living abroad for ten years, I had no money and no car. In someways it was very romantic. We came here with two suitcases and peddled a land cruiser bike from Walmart everywhere.  My wife, my daughter and I lived in a tiny run down apartment by the beach.

I prayed for help. We had a mountain of debt on our credit card.

I prayed for help over a year.

  • I swung and bam, I knocked it out of the park. I got a job making $160,000 dollars a year.  Who makes this money? I got that job after being off the grid for a decade in Europe.

After that I got another job even better, is that normal?  Then I quit that job to spend more time with my family and with prayer I got a job teaching as a professor of Economics at a state college nearby.

On a lighter note, when I got the job as a professor, I did not tell my wife, I just asked her if she was Mary Ann or Ginger, she looked me, and I said because I am the professor.

Yes, I know, no laws of physics were broken here and nothing supernatural occurred, but does there need to be?  God answers prayers in ways you could never dream.

  • Nothing supernatural, but is this not a miracle of going to utter poverty to being the top 1% in a day?

Finding the love of my life – Miracle

My family is my greatest joy. You hear people say this but it is true.  After praying for my soul mate out of the blue my wife appeared. You can read about my dreams and prayers and how I met her in my other posts. We have been together now going on 13 years and happy as ever. She was the girl I saw in my dreams, yet more than I  could have ever imagined.

She is from the other side of the world. I am a New England Preppy and she is from the Polish countryside. Never could have imaged. How can anyone image the future when God takes you on such an amazing journey.

  • No physical laws of science where violated, but God was throwing the dice when I was not looking.

Family miracles

My parents have been together over 65 years happily married with many miracles in their lives with a daily prayer practice.

One example, my brother, Joe, was tested by all the experts, educators and physiologists, that he would not be able to complete high school. They recommended a trade school instead of a high school diploma.  My parents prayed with unwaivering faith.

  • My brother Joe went on to get multiple degrees and is worth over 50 million dollars today traveling the world running businesses, and now literally saving the rain forest.

I could go on with other examples of God’s participation in my life, but my point is not to tell stories, or to entertain, but to give a testament that:

God he does great things for us

He takes care of his children, he watches over us in our despair.

  • Why not tap into the power of the infinite?  My advice  connect with the Divine or you just might be swindling yourself out of your own life.
In the silence of your aloneness, explore the power of prayer to attract the love of your life.

My advice – Visit a monastery to find your wife

My advice is to find a wife or husband visit a cloister.  It is not what you think, rather, I mean for you to experience the power of prayerful people first hand, not something you read in a book.

Silence is the fertile soil of prayer.

  • Take a Yoga retreat like Baron Baptiste if you have the cash.
  • Visit a Buddhist monetary or meditation center.
  • Take a visit to Amish country, the Amish settlements are found beyond Pennsylvania.
  • Take a trip to a monastery of any religion.
  • Go to a hippie type retreat center
  • Do a weekend retreat at a Trappist monastery, they are in many states. At least go for the afternoon and bath in the silence and power of their prayer.

Directory of Trappist Monasteries

Why not try a visit? Is Tinder or Craiglist personals really working that well for you? They usually have a nice gift shop full of books that you would not find normally. If you did this, your spouse will not appear like magic, as God is not a powerful wizard, but you will have planted a seed.

With prayer it is about planting a seed, watering it and taking care of it.  Take care of your intention and be patient and wait for it to grow.

Work and Pray – the harvest is coming.

Also read classics by saints and monks of the past. Read Thomas Kempis for example. Read the Bible. Or read modern day theologians like Hans Kung  or classic inspirational writers like Anthony De Mello, Normal Vincent Peale or Neal Lozono. Read these by your bedside this is my advice. However, if you really want to see prayer in action. If you want to experience silence and prayer find a group that practices it, because silences is a practice.

How do you see yourself in this Universe

I do not care if you are under the spell of Richard Dawkins or you are too prideful to believe, or you were not brought up this way,  or whatever, it is not my problem. It really is not, I have my own life. I am not my brothers keeper. However, I would say this:

If you see yourself as a speck of dust floating thought this universe then that is what life will give you.  If you see yourself as infinite that is what life will give you.

You need to trust in God. Like in the movies when someone says ‘give me your hand’.  Trust is almost synonymous with faith.

Be patient in prayer and you will be happily married. All the days of being single does not add up to the happiness of one day of being with your soul mate. It might take years rather than months. But do not give up.

Just remember, prayer is not a technique. It is not magic. Faith, is not a creed or a declaration, but a radical reorientation of one’s life.

I don’t know Who – or what – put the question, I don’t know when it was put. I don’t even remember answering. But at some moment I did answer Yes to Someone — or Something — and from that hour I was certain that existence is meaningful and that, therefore, my life, in self-surrender, had a goal.- Dag Hammarskjöld

Remember, God is not a super magician.  God is an active player in the game of life with us. He sets up the rules but does not violate them. However, he does throw the dice when we are not looking. He cares and loves us in ways we do not know. He is our loving Father and Mother and suffers with us.

Many people ask where is God in all this suffering on the earth. Where was God in the concentration camps of WWII for example.  I believe the answer is, he was there suffering with them.

God’s ways are not man’s ways

God will help you find your density but in ways you might not expect. Remember, God is not supernatural. I do not believe in anything supernatural. To believe in the supernatural is contrary to the laws of physics and science. To believe in the supernatural might be even contrary to religion, as it would boarder on superstition.

Nothing about prayer is to be connected with a trick or technique.

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for.

I do not want to leave you with a post and no practical ideas to take away:

However, prayer is real. You will find your soulmate if you pray for your soulmate.

What is the sound of one hand clapping? ‘Prayer’ is your left hand and ‘action’ your the right hand. Together they make a sound that resonates when placed that changes the universe around you.

Action Point – make yourself hotter than hot

I do not mean to cheapen the inspirational power of this post, but I am a practical person. People respond to looks.

Make yourself super hot. So hot that people’s hearts beat when you come into a room.  We all can be model hot.

  • Shape – If you are out of shape, get toned. Even use exercise as a form of monastic self flagellation.
  • Clothes – Wear inexpensive but tight fitting cool clothes. Who does not like a body in clean, solid color tight clothes, consider brands like Hollister or from the thrift shop, or be preppy if you can afford it. Who does not like a girl in a while button down shirt, or a guy that looks like Hipster entrepreneur.
  • Glasses – Get cool glasses, you can get them for under twenty bucks at a place like Zenni Optical.
  • Hair – If you are a guy spike your hair up, and if you are a girl grow your hair long.
  • Shoes – Does not have to be expensive, a woman in jeans and red shoes gets attention for example.

It is that simple. You can look like a model or a member of a teenage heart throb boy band.

Next work on yourself intellectually and culturally. Self actualize during your purgatory and wait for your spouse.  However, I think as long as you are intellectually curious, that is enough, more focus on making yourself physically attractive.

Do this in conjunction with prayer that is sincere, and as described above.

How long should you wait for love? Live the question and at sometime in the future when you do not realize it you will be living the answer.

Prayer – find your method – wait for your soul mate

Make it not about finding your mate, but about making yourself a better soul, and if you find her or him on the way, thank God. Since as humans we tend to be ritualistic (for various reason), make your own prayer technique or use one from the religious tradition of your ancestors, if you are not religious. Be creative, for example, St. Ignatius use to pray laying on his back or facing Jerusalem.

If you are into visualization, no need to look too deep into techniques. Any technique is fine, or make your own. I like the pink balloon technique and whispering in your mind before you fall asleep, as well as pure visualization and fantasy.

In conclusion

You will leave all your single friends scratching their head, as they see living a normal life of taking your kids to the playground.  In start contrast the cynics will be the oldest ones in bar, still trying to pick up women with Tinder or something. So do not worry about the cynics, they just get burned.

Do like the faithful have for generations, not give up, just persevere and be faithful in your prayers. If it takes time, let it take time. My message to you personally, if you are looking for a husband or spouse, pray, be patient, the love of your life is coming.


Genetics of Love

Find your destiny with your genes on

The purpose of this post is to look at how genetics influences our romantic interactions. Further, what you can do with the knowledge of your genetics and potential spouse’s genetics, to tip the odds of destiny. As a mating strategy we all want to optimize. Below I give you a specific road map. That being said, we need to understand what genes are and what they are do for us.

What do girls really look for in a guy

Where are genes taking us?

Genes are almost like light switches, they turn on or off chemical processes in your body. However, there is more to the story. Genes have a consciousness of their own. It is almost they live symbiotically in your body, in one sense. They sculpt your life, and drive you to reproduce in by helping you choose a partner that is optimal. Your genes want to survive through the generations, even if you do not.

Further,  Homo sapiens sapiens genes are taking the human race somewhere, the Omega point perhaps, who knows (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin ). What we do know is genes adapt and change, seeking improvement through mate selection. They want to ensure that the human race continues and thrives more than you personally. So the mating strategy for your genes is to seek out a genetically optimal partner that might be good for you, but definitely good for the human race’s survival. That is why even a cursory awareness of genes and mating might be important for your search. Just being aware of what is going on might lead you in the right direction.

Only the strong survive, is being replaced with only the harmonious survive.

For example, the Alpha male reptilians, the old model for survival and dating for humans, is being replaced by male and females that have genes of cooperation, compassion and intellect. Human genes as a whole, in this crowded aggressive world would not be able to survive much longer, unless the collective unconsciousness of human gene cooperate with other genes and decrease the number of aggressive reptilians who do not recycle for example.  The real question is, how do the genes know this? It is a mystery for another topic.

Life is a huge magic trick which no one person can figure out how it is done

To illustrate this point answer this question: who has more children, Alpha male players or Amish or Mormon communities,  Christians or Asian Indians? Whose genes get passed on, the hedonistic Western Europeans with important careers, but no kids, or homesteading families with gangs of semi-wild children running barefoot in the backyard covered with dirt and smiles on their faces?

God loves plain folk, that is why he made so many of them.

This is why I tell you guys do not believe the recycled information on the web about dating, such as alpha dating or genetic matching sites. Most of these sites do not follow a good model of science, rigorous academic research or even common sense observation.

A specific example is the anti-alpha model of dating . It is as follows: genes involving altruistic and pro-social behavior (D4.4) compared to a more aggressive, novelty-seeking type (D4.7) (genes of someone who has tendencies to be a player or an investment banker) have the advantage. (Reference: Polymorphisms in the dopamine D4 receptor gene (DRD4) contribute to individual differences in human sexual behavior: desire, arousal and sexual function. I Z Ben Zion1, R Tessler2, L Cohen3, E Lerer4, Y Raz5, R Bachner-Melman2, I Gritsenko6, L Nemanov6, A H Zohar7, R H Belmaker1, J Benjamin1 and R P Ebstein2,6)

It is beyond the scope of this article to elaborate on or defend such an theory, but I invite you to do the research yourself.

Want me? Forget about meeting your parents, I want to know you have the right HLA for me.

Limits of genetics and love

At this juncture, despite advances on the understanding of the genetic component controlling attraction, science is yet to reach the point in which a simple genotype analysis may clearly define the degree of compatibility of one individual to another. What is well known is that the science of love is a polygenic, very complex traits that also depends on several non-genetic and environmental factors. This means that is virtually impossible to determine one’s degree of compatibility by looking at one specific gene, such as D4.4 or D4.7 – there are several other known genes and probably many more yet to be revealed. It is the combined effect of all of them that results in the individual’s genetic profile of being able to live happily with a mate from a biological prospective.

For example, you may have the repelling allele to a potential mate indicated by a specific marker gene, but this can be largely compensated by the genetic make-up of a large number of additional genes – and even if you get genotyping information for all of them, you still would have to interpret the genetic data in the context of the non-genetic factors, starting, for example, with “degree of exposure”, that is, simply proximity to the person and time to socialize and rub elbows. The bottom line is, you cannot just match up some genes and conclude this must be love, there is simply not enough knowledge to do so based on genetics, and would you really want to do so anyway?

I am sorry if this disappoints everyone’s expectations on the power of genetics to determine compatibility – there still a long way to go before we have consolidated tests able to precisely define such parameter. Further, keep in mind that, in principle, there is no reason for exaggerated focus on such things as genetic compatibility for love or more primitively alpha male or beta male type classifications.

Simply focus on the elements in your life you can change. This will give you great latitude and power beyond any supposed predetermined biological mould you have been formed from. Like I have said all along: Shop Hollister on a sale, get a good hair cut at Aveda and have an easy going positive surfer dude or girl attitude with faith in God’s grace, and you will be empowered to create your own destiny. It is that simple. To override any perceived genetic disadvantage, take action.  Genes might give you one hair color and texture, but with a simple strip to the Whole Foods personal care section you can change your hair color and look. You can similarly increase your attraction with just stylish clothes and the right colors. If you develop your intellect you will leverage your mating power. Intelligence acquired through cultural enrichment is even better than innate intelligence because you gain wisdom with your challenges.

Steps to take if you are interested in Genetic matchmaking

If you have interest in genetics, as I do, then below is what current research suggests regarding the genetics of love. Every psychological tendency in an organisms physiology has multi genes in play. It is not like having blue eyes or Mendeleev’s pea pods. Rather, there are a series of chain upon chain of interactions. However, lets look at a few.

  • 23andme how I tested my DNA –  for fun with my wife. It reveals interesting ancestors and unravels our DNA, Chromosomes, genes and alleles (they are either A, C, T or G). On – You get to browse your raw genetic data.
  • How to interpret your results with this add-on –  This is a Firefox add-on you can use to interpret the genetic data. It allows you to decode your 23andme data created by a company called 5AMSolutions. After the FDA cracked down on 23andme, they are limited by what they can interpret. However, the good news is you have a brain you can do it yourself.
  • Road map of your genetics laid out – This site lays out basic genetic information and using the add-on and your raw data your alleles can be interpreted. You can take a closer at physiological traits. You can hover over the trait and compare to your raw genetic data. If you want your genetic analysis more spelled out you can utilizes where you can import your data directly for five dollars and have a probability analysis done on your psychological as well as biological tendencies.

This is a sample of what some traits might look like if you follow the steps above.  More research is needed but it does give you clues to your behavior tendencies. However you need to temper this with the wisdom of, knowing you have the power to change.

If you look hard enough, you can almost see the outline of your soulmates silhouette in this DNA.

I think decoding your genetic profile is money better spent than any dating site that pairs people off based on DNA dating and olfactory hormone speculation. The reason is 23andme does this for more or less altruistic reasons and to fulfill intellectual curiosity, whereas dating sites often have a strong profit motive and make promises that are based on speculation and even misleading statements about the power of interpretation. And as stated above genetic matchmaking is not good science, at this juncture. Further you can use your raw data for multiple purposes on going into the future.

Life is an art not a science

Clues for genetics of attraction:

Desire and genes

  • Desire or the wanderlust gene – The idea is which gene controls drive for physical relations. Gene or known as C-521T ‘T’ allele showed higher desire for physical relations. The or C-616G C allele was associated with higher function and libidinal desire scores. DRD4 5-locus haplotype (19%) was significantly associated with Desire. Five polymorphisms were genotyped across the DRD4 gene: three promoter region SNPs (C-521T, C-616G, A-809G). There is a link between NS and dopaminergic activity via DRD4 on chromosome 11 and increased propensity to take risk, as well as exploratory novel stimulation.


  1. Dopamine D4 receptor and desire
  2. Differences in sexual desire
  3. Novelty seeking behavior 

Parenting and genes

  • More empathetic and sensitive parenting – There is a gene for emphatic parenting.  This might be a good gene to have in a partner. It is not mutually exclusive with the above arousal seeking gene. You can explore parenting sensitivity (5-HTT) – the gene of love? to research more on the subject.

Immunity and genes

  • Different immune genes – Why do plants not self pollinate and humans do not want to either? HLA-dissimilar alleles produce stronger immune systems than HLA-similar alleles because wider diversity of antigen, than HLA-homozygous children (inbreeding avoidance). This is under the ideas of histocompatibility MHCs. Pheromones are the external signals that we use coupled with the sense of smell to determine this when talking to people. This is why I recommend that you use natural scents or no scents at all. Your own perspiration or sweat will do the talking.
  • Red Queen’s race – HLA-dissortative mating produces adaptations that pathogens gain an adaptive advantage in sexual reproduction. Red Queen’s race is evolutionary adaptation.
  • Polymorphic HLA genes – are better because they reduce the chance of recessive mutations caused by genetic homozygosity in other words genetically distant relatives even if unaware. You would be surprised how many 3rd and 4th cousin you have with out being aware. This is revealed on


Zion, I. Molecular Psychiatry, online edition. News release, The Hebrew University of Jerusalem.


Oxytocin – Genes influence the level of oxytocin which is associated with the desire to stay with a mate. For example GG alleles are associated with higher levels.

Using the above mentioned tools you can see I have a GG, or a high level of bonding. I know I will always be with my wife. I also do not have the novelty seeking gene, which I think is a good thing as I do not want to stray.
  • The above examples relating to: desire,  immunity and parenting, are four examples of how information about ones DNA might give indications about potential mates or yourself to defy or actualizes your genetic tendencies based on an assertion of free will.

Genetic matchmaking versus free will

If genes can not precisely determine your next mate, my advice is go for:

Someone who does it for you physically. Intellectually curious and has a commitment to faith – that is manifest in a spiritually lawful goodness and daily rituals of prayerfulness. Someone peaceful connected to nature and wants harmony in the world, wants a family, rather than someone you will be competing with or, married to their career.

Always remember genes are not destiny. Even now they are learning how to alter genes and correct, if you believe in even limited free will this means you can exert an influence over your tendencies.

Free will and culture can override genetic mate selection. Specifically, in societies like the US and Europe, where love marriages are the convention, people with similar genes tend to pair off, with the exception of some specific genes relating to immune system for example. Natures idea is that mixing of immunity genes, will produce stronger offspring with immunity but similarities can reduce cultural friction. However, in traditional societies where there are arranged marriages, we do not see the correlation between these specific genes. I personally believe, opposites do not match as well as similar with a few differences because of cultural understanding. I also believe awareness trumps genes as a survival strategies. For example, if you live an organic and fitness lifestyle you will be fair better then the person who has ‘better immunity genes’ and eats package food.  There are some that question if free will exists. This is my take on it below.
As an additional addendum from a philosophical basis, you can take two attitudes towards genetics, free will and dating.

God does not play dice with the universe – Albert Einstein.

If you think about it all human psychology and thinking is based on the biology of the brain and the body. All biology is based on chemistry. All chemistry is based on physics at a sub-molecular level. All physics is based on mathematics. Hence there is no free will and everything is pre-determined. Rather what exists is only the illusion of free will and the interaction of internal elements (your body’s genetics) and external elements (your environment). Therefore, your genetics, the 23,000 or so genes carried on your 23 chromosome, basically determined your life, from your intelligence to your propensity to risk taking and social interaction and love. The paradox being why even look up your genetics if everything is predetermined. Taken to its end Stalin and Mother Teresa are morally equal since there is no free will.
On the other side.

God not only plays dice with the universe, he throws them where we are not looking.

If you are honest, really honest there is an intangible mystery to life, a quality that can not be quantified but you feel it. In your heart you know this to be true unless you just block it out because you can not accept uncertainty and the unknown. Yes genetics plays a roles, as well as environment, but life is something radically different than anything that can be describe in something as simplistic as genetic formula or a philosophical axiom. Free will determines your destiny in love. Below is a quote about an intelligent robot named Tik-Tok by the same author of the Wizard of Oz.

He thinks, Speaks, acts and does everything but live –
The Marvellous land of OZ – by L. Frank Baum – 1904

Being alive is something radically different and mysterious. We are not predetermined organic machines.
Genetics is not destiny, just and an influencer.

Free will (which is almost synonymous with awareness) and spirit will always trump genetics when it comes to love. Love is the infinite energy that pulses though the universe and ts can be understood as much as we can understand the Absolute, who exists outside the time space continues and the constraints of our physical laws.

So if you want to find a mate, do it. Do it like you mean it with confidence and courage. Do it by risking everything and rather than using your genetic code as a rode map for anything in live, follow your heart. Life is simple and love simpler, follow your heart, not a prescription by anyone else, including me.  Because your heart has reasons which reason knows nothing of (Pascal).


Love phrases in Polish

Poland is a romantic nation and Polish is a romantic language. It is also a Catholic nation which has the ideas of Christian partnership intact. Polish women are perhaps the most romantic on earth so please do not spoil their innocence with words of love that are not from you heart.

Poles are a mix of Western culture and Romantic idealism.

I married a girl from Poland, (my other half) and lived there for almost a decade.  I am not an expert on Polish romanticism, nor how to woo a woman, however, I know enough about Polish culture to give you some clues. Therefore, if you want to know anything about love and Romance in Eastern Europe let me know.  My list of love phrases in Polish ‘for him or her’ is only a start.

If you are using the love quotes on your mobile phone, you can simply copy and paste them right into the text message.

Please leave a comment or question if you need guidance on winning  the hand a girl from Polska.

Love Phrases  and Romantic Polish words

I love you

  • I love you – Kocham cię
  • I like you – Lubie cię
  • Do you love me? – Kochasz mnie?
  • I like you – Podobasz mi się.
  • You have to have a big hart to love a little. – Potrzeba wiele serca, aby tylko trochę kochać
  • People were created because of love and to love – Czlowiek stworzony jest z milości i do milości
  • Love is a wonder wich can happen again. – Milosc to cud, który zawsze może się znów zdarzyć
  • Don’t be afraid of love. – Nie bój się kochać.
  • Don’t talk. Just kiss. – Milcz i całuj.
  • Love is a happiness. – Milość sama w sobie jest szczęściem.
  • Those loves you, because of whom you are crying. – Ten cię kocha przez kogo płaczesz.
  • You would never love like before. – Nie kocha się nigdy jak przedtem
  • I think about you – Myślę o Tobie.
  • I was dreaming about you last night – Śniłaś mi się tej nocy.
  • When you meet each other first time at the party, in the park, in the supermarket. -Kiedy widzicie się pierwszy raz- na imprezie, w parku, w kolejce w sklepie.
  • Hi. – Cześć.
  • Nice to meet you. – Milo Cię widzieć.

Expression of beauty

  • Your eyes are beautiful. – Masz ładne oczy.
  • You are beautiful. – Jesteś piękna.
  • You look great! – Świetnie wyglądasz!
  • Express feelings – Wyrażanie uczuć.
  • You are so sweet. – Jesteś śliczna.
  • I don’t want to lose you. – Nie chcę Cię stracić.
  • I never forget you. Nigdy nie zapomnę o Tobie.
  • Heart that is in love, always stay alive. – Serce, które kocha, zawsze pozostaje młodym.
  • My sun. – Moje slońce.
  • My flower. – Mój kwiatuszku.
  • You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. – Jesteś najpiekniejszą kobietą, jaką w życiu spotkalem.

General expressions of affection

  • You are my air. – Jesteś moim powietrzem.
  • We exist only when we love. – Istniejemy na tyle, na ile kochamy.
  • Love comes unexpected. – Milość spada znienacka.
  • I love my life, because it gives you to me. I love you, because you are all my life. -Kocham życie bo dalo mi Ciebie,  Kocham Ciebie bo – jesteś calym moim życiem.
  • I’m looking for you. – Szukam cię
  • I can do everything for you, only if you want. I always stay with you. You know about it. – Ja dla Ciebie wszystko zrobię jesli tego chcesz, bedę zawsze wciąż przy Tobie, dobrze o tym wiesz.
  • I love you, but I can’t remind why. – Kocham Cię!!! Ale nie mogę sobie przypomnieć dlaczego.
  • Heart is a clock which say me to thing about you every time. – Serce to zegar, który o każdej dobie każe mi śnić i myśleć tylko o Tobie.
  • Without you like without smile-the sky is dark. – Bez Ciebie jak bez uśmiechu, niebo pochmurnieje.
  • How to ask for a date. – Jak zaprosić na randke.
  • I want to met you. – Chciałbym się z Tobą spotkać.
  • What are you doing this evening? – Co robisz wieczorem?
  • Can we go to the cinema? – Pójdziemy do kina?
    I invite you for a romantic supper. -Zapraszam Cię na romantyczną kolację.
  • Shall we dance? – Zatańczymy?
  • Do you like rock? Can we listen to music togather? – Lubisz rock? Posłuchamy razem muzyki?
  • Not far from us is nice pub. Do you go with me? – Tu niedaleko jest fajna knajpka. Idziemy?
  • Marriage. – Ślub.
  • I want to spend my lifetime with you. – Chciałbym spędzić swoje życie z Toba.
  • Love gets valuable because of love. – Życie zdobywa swą wartość tylko dzięki milości.
  • I want our children have your eyes. – Chciałabym, żeby nasze dzieci miały Twoje oczy.
  • Love comes when its time is coming. – Każda milość przychodzi w porę.
  • Would you marry me? – Wyjdziesz za mnie?

Go here if you want to read more about ->  girls from Poland


Love phrases in Spanish for him or her

Words of love and love phrases in Spanish are great to win the heart of a Spanish princess  or prince.  I collected the best love quotes that will get a get a reaction if spoken or text message in the right context. If you are in love or at least want to capture the hand or move the heart of someone from Buenos Aires, Peru or Madrid ,  try are love quotes in Spanish for  him or her. At the bottom I also have a guide to dating in Latin culture.

Romantic expressions in Spanish

  • I love you – Te quiero
  • I love you – Te amo
  • Love phrases -Amor frases
  • love at first sight – amor a primera vista
  • my love -amor mío
  • love song – canción de amor
  • love letter – carta armatoria
  • to fall in love with -enamorarse
  • to be in love – estar enamorado
  • love at first sight – flechazo
  • love story – historia de amor
  • token of love – prenda de amor
  • she loves me, she loves me not – hacer amor me quiere, no me quiere
  • for the pure love of it – por pura afición
  • love making – relaciones sexuales
  • love life – vida sexual
  • my first love – mi primer amor
  • free love – amor libre
  • I can’t wait till we can make sweet love again. I miss all those nights. I love you – No puedo esperar a volver a hacerte el amor otra vez. Echo de menos todas esas noches. Te quiero

Terms of endearment/love

  • amado – sweetheart
  • amante – sweetheart

Romantic expressions

  • Siano i baci le parole d’amore che non ti dico – Kisses are the unspoken words of love
  • amor – romantic love
  • ¡El verdadero amante en toda parte ama y siempre se acuerda del amado – The true lover always remembers the loved one – Santa Teresa


Chica: Hola, ¿Qué tal?
Chico: Hola, encantado
Hi, how are you? / Pleased to meet you

Chica:¿Cómo te llamas?
Chico:Me llamo Toni.
What’s your name? / My name’s Toni.

Chica:¿De dónde eres?
Chico:Soy de Valladolid.
Where are you from? / I’m from Valladolid.

Chica:¿Dónde vives?
Chico:Vivo en la Calle Cervantes.
Where do you live? / I live in the Calle [street] Cervantes.

Chica:¿Dónde está?
Chico:Está cerca de la Plaza Mayor.
Where is that? / It’s near Plaza [square] Mayor.

Further information

Chica:¿Estudias o trabajas?
Chico:Estudio Informática.
Do you study or work? / I’m studying Computer Science.

Chico:¿Estudias o trabajas?
Chica:Trabajo – soy dentista.
Do you study or work? / I work – I’m a dentist.

Chica:¿Quieres tomar algo?
Chico:Sí, quiero una cerveza.
Do you want something to drink? / Yes, I’d like a beer.

Chico:¿Tienen Voll Damm?
Camarera: No, lo siento, sólo tengo Estrella.
Have you got Voll Damm? / No I’m sorry, I’ve only got Estella.

Chico:¿Cuánto es?
Camarera:Son dos con cincuenta.
How much is it? / That’s two fifty.

Chica: ¿Te gusta esta música?
Chico:Sí, me encanta.
Do you like this music? / Yes, I love it.

Chico:¿Te gusta esta música?
Chica: No, no me gusta mucho.
Do you like this music? / No, I don’t like it much.

Making a date

Shall we dance? – Okay.

Chico:¿Qué haces esta noche?
What are you doing tonight? / Nothing.

Chico:Vamos a cenar, ¿quieres venir?
Chica:Me encantaría.
We’re going out for supper – do you want to come? / I’d love to.

Chica:Sí, perfecto. ¿Á qué hora?
Shall we meet up? / Yes, great. What time?

Chico:A las diez.
Chica:De acuerdo, hasta luego.
At ten / Agreed, see you then.

feelings – Sentimiento

  • Estoy enamorado/ estoy enamorada – I am in love
  • Te echo de menos – I miss you
  • Te adoro apasionadamente – I adore you passionately
  • Te quiero con toda mi alma – I love you with all my soul
  • Te quiero con todo mi corazón – I love you with all my heart
  • ¡Quiéreme o me muero! – Love me or I shall die!
  • Te quiero /Te amo – I love you
  • Te quiero con toda mi alma – I love you with all my soul
  • No puedo vivir sin ti – I can’t live without you
  • Me haces feliz – You make me happy
  • Quiero estar contigo para siempre – I want to be with you forever
  • Te necesito – I need you
  • Pienso en ti siempre – I always think of you
  • Cada día te quiero más que ayer y menos que mañana. – I love you more than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.

Relationship – Relaciones

  • Tengo novio – I have a boyfriend, sweetheart
  • Tengo novia – I have a girlfriend, sweetheart
  • Marido – Husband
  • Mujer – Woman/wife
  • Escribir una letra – Writing a letter
  • Te mando una carta. –  I send a card to you.
  • Querido Juan (Kyle, Mark, etc.) – Dear John (Kyle, Mark, etc.)
  • Querida María (Thuy etc.) – Dear Mary (Thuy, etc.)
  • Escribe pronto – Write soon
  • Con amor – With love
  • Con cariño – With affection
  • Besos – Kisses
  • Abrazos – Hugs
  • Preguntas – Questions
  • ¿Por qué no me escribes? – Why don’t you write to me?
  • ¿Me echas de menos? – Do you miss me?
  • ¿Me quieres? ¿Me amas? – Do you love me?
  • ¿Puedes darme tu número de teléfono? – Can you give me your phone number?
  • ¿Me escribes o te escribo? – Shall I write you or will you write me?
  • ¿Me llamas o te llamo? – Shall I call you or will you call me?
  • ¿Salimos esta noche? – Do you want to go out tonight?
  • ¿Dónde quedamos? – Where shall we meet?
  • ¿Quieres tomar algo?- Would you like anything to drink?
  • ¿Quieres bailar? / ¿Bailas? – Would you like to dance?
  • ¿Te casarás conmigo? – Will you marry me?

Expressions Of Love In Mexican And American Culture

Love is a complicated subject, most people are aware of that. It is complicated because everyone shows their love not in one specific way, but in many different ways and with different actions. Some people can be more shy, others more confident and romantic. Sometimes, part of what makes you show your love for someone in a certain way is where you live and the culture and traditions of that place. In some cultures, people tend to be more reserved than in other cultures. Obviously, not all people in the same culture show their love in the exact same way, but the traditions makes everyone show it similarly.

Latin relationships are based on different rules

There´s Latin American culture for example, it has its very own traditions and customs. These customs hold mostly Catholic values tend to guide and orientate dating relationships. Some people have forgotten about these customs, specially in bigger cities.

First of all, the man always pursues the woman. A woman traditionally waits for the man to invite her to a party, a club or go on a date. That is when the woman decides if she likes the man or not. Chivalry is still very present when a man wants a woman. They are polite, pull out the chairs, open doors, be well-mannered altogether and usually –if not always- pay for dates.

Before or while a couple is dating, there are other things that men usually do. They always give the woman flowers, chocolates and even stuffed animals, anything that shows their affection for the woman. It is also very common to say “piropos” to the woman. Piropos are flirty comments in which the man calls a woman beautiful, my love or similar things.

Specially in Mexico and among younger people, having “quedante” or “galán” is commonly used. Having a quedante or galán is a previous step before having a boyfriend, you get to know each other better before you become a couple. When you have a quedante or galán it means that you are unofficially out of the market.

When couples start to date in Mexico, something they do is “checar”. Checar is when the man goes to the woman´s house in the late afternoon or evening just to check up on her. The woman always knows which days the man is going to come; everyday, five days a week, three days a week or even just once a week.

Courting a Mexican girl

One of the most known and loved traditions is bringing a woman serenata. A serenata is bringing a group of mariachi in front of the woman´s house at mdnight or very late at night to play and sing romantic songs. Nowadays, a lot of people call it gallo, which means rooster in english. Hiring a mariachi can sometimes be expensive, so young boys bring a girl pollo –chicken in spanish– but not literally chicken, it is a smaller version of bringing a girl gallo.

Traditionally, Latin American women tend to be conservative and wait for a serious relationship and sometimes until marriage to engage in physical relationships. A man can risk ending his relationship with a woman if he pressures her to have sex, this happens especially with younger couples.

Like every other culture, Latin American cultures are really unique ones. It shares some similarities with American culture, specially regarding weddings. The bridesmaids, the veil and the bouquet are some similar things that both cultures share.

Contrast of American dating

But American culture can be very different. Regarding a relationship itself, it is not as uncommon as in Mexico to see a girl pursuing a boy, splitting up the check and giving the first step generally. They also don´t have terms like quedante or galán, the first step is always boyfriend and girlfriend.

There really are not many traditions when people date in America. Obviously, they show their love in different and good ways, but there are not traditional or classic way to do it. There is of course chivalry present in relationships, I like to think that a well educated man is still something every women looks for no matter what part of the world she lives in.

Some things that are traditional in America are the weddings. For example, throwing rice after the wedding is a tradition. Throwing rice means that the guests wish the couple happiness and prosperity. Recently, rice has been replaced with birdseed and even blowing bubbles. Either way, the thought is the same no matter what is thrown at the couple.

Other traditional thing in America is having a rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal dinner is done very near to the wedding date. It is done specially because some members of the wedding party travel some distance to be at the wedding and so the bride and groom´s families know each other better.

The ring bearer is also a tradition in American weddings. The ring bearer is a young boy who is very special to the bride and groom. The boy carries a pillow with the wedding rings, and during the vows, he hands the pillow to the couple for them to exchange rings. It is also becoming common to have a girl be the ring bearer instead of a boy.

As you see, the fact that we express love in different ways doesn´t mean a love is greater than another. Love is love no matter how you express it. And probably, there are some Mexican girls who don´t like men to bring them serenata, or to have a quedante or galán.

Surely, there are plenty of women in America that still want to be pursued, and men who love the thrill of the chase. There probably also are couples in America that won´t throw rice after their wedding and won´t have a rehearsal dinner too.

Traditions are not obligatory, but they are things that people have close to their hearts. The most important thing is that no matter how, you are able to express to someone how much you love them.


Love phrases in French

Below is a list of French love quotes for him or her. In our collective unconsciousness the French language and love are almost synonymous. Imagine the  Even if your love is not from France or Quebec. perhaps from the Caribbean or French West Africa she will be impressed with words of love and love phrases in French. If you are a francophile or francophone passing though, leave a comment to help us all get a better understanding of your culture.

I am a European and American, if you have any questions about cross cultural dating just ask. I am an expert on this. You can leave a comment below or go directly to the area of my site connected to that, I have navigation at the bottom of this post.

Romantic expressions in French

I love you in several expressions

  • Je t’aime – I love You
  • Je t’adore – I adore You
  • Tu es ma joie de vivre – You are the joy of my life
  • Tu es mon mon amour – You are my love
  • Mon amour pour toi est éternel – My love for You is eternal
  • Mon amour pour toi est si grand que le Mond – My love for You is as grand as the world
  • Tu es mon mon amour – You are my love
  • Affirmations of Love
  • Je crois toi – I trust You
  • Tu es mon homme – You are my man
  • Tu es magnifique! – You are amazing!
  • C’est pour toi que je suis – I am here for You
  • Toi et moi- Ça ne changera pas – You and me- It doesn’t change
  • Tu es ma meilleure amie – You are my best friend
  • Amour de ma vie – Love of my life
  • J’veux etre avec toi – I want to be with You
  • Ton amour est précieux comme l’or – Your love is presious as gold
  • Mon amour pour toi est éternel – My love for You is eternal
  • Tu es pour moi la plus belle – You are for me the most beautiful

Meeting and greeting

  • Ou es-tu – Where are You
  • On va chez toi ou chez moi? – Your place or mine?
  • Venez-vous ici souvent? – Do you come here often?
  • Voulez-vous danser avec moi? – Would you like to dance with me?
  • Faire l’amour – Make love (to woo)

Romantic words of love

  • Que mes baisers soient les mots d’amour que je ne te dis pas. – Kisses are the unspoken words of love.
  • On pardonne tant que l’on aime. – Where there is love there is forgiveness- Rochefoucauld
  • Entre deux coeurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles – Two hearts in love need no words- Desbordes-Valmore
  • Je respire l’odeur de ton corps – I breath the smell of Your body
  • Dans tes bras c’est mon destin – My destinty is in Your arms
  • Tu es dans toutes mes pensées – You are in all my thoughts
  • Tes yeux, j’en reve jour et nuit – I dream about Your eyes day and night
  • Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point. -The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of -Blaise Pascal Pensées
  • On pardonne tant que l’on aime – Where there is love there is forgiveness- Rochefoucauld
  • Entre deux coeurs qui s’aiment, nul besoin de paroles – Two hearts in love need no words- Desbordes-Valmore
  • Je t’aime – I love you
  • Je t’aime de tout mon cœur – I love you with all my heart
  • Tu me manques – I miss you
  • À toi, pour toujours – Yours forever
  • Tendres baisers – Love and kisses
  • Bonjour, ma belle (mon beau). Pourrais-je vous offrir a boire? – Hello, beautiful (or handsome). Can I buy you a drink?
  • Est-ce qu’on t’as deja dit que tu ressembles vachement – Has anyone ever told you you look like.
  • Fait-il chaud ici, ou c’est juste vous? -Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
  • Vous êtes mon soulmate  – You’re my soulmate.
  • Je veux passer la reste de ma vie avec vous – I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
  • A la meme heure demain? – So, same time tomorrow?
  • Mot pour amoureux – Words for those in love
  • Je t’adore – I adore you
  • un cadeau – present
  • des fleurs – flowers
  • des bonbons – candy
  • un copain – boyfriend
  • une copine – girlfriend
  • chéri chérie – dear, sweetheart
  • avec amour – with love
  • amour physique – physical love
  • jeu blanc – love game

If you want to meet a French girl or guy for love read about what I write on French love This contains both the good and the less then optimal on dating someone from la langue française, this Gallic Romantic culture.


Love phrases in German

German words of love and love phrases in German are great to win the heart of someone living in Germany, Austria, Switzerland and beyond.  Think of Mozart and the Marriage of Figaro or Rilke or  Heinrich Heine, there are scores of Romantic German language writes worthy of quoting. While the Southern European countries get all the credit for being Romantics, I would say the cold climate of Central Europe is the perfect incubator for romanticism.  Use my quotes below and let me know if you have more to add in the comment section.

Also I am European and American so I have an interesting cultural perspective on dating. Navigate below to read more.

Love phrases in German

  • Ich liebe dich – I love you
  • Ein Herz für Dich – Heart for You
  • Ich will Dich zurück! – I want You to come back!
  • Du bist mein Stern – You are my star
  • Du machst mich so glücklich! – You make me so happy!
  • Ich möchte gern Dich sehen – I would love to see You
  • Was machst Du heute abend? – What are You doing tonight?
  • Woher bist Du? – Where are You?
  • Ich werde mit dir sein – I would like to be with You
  • Du bist mein ein und alles – You are everything to me
  • Du bist mein Sauerstoff und mein Sonnenlicht – You are my oxygen and my sunlight
  • Deine Augen sind die Sterne – Your eyes are stars
  • Ohne Dich kann ich nicht atmen – I can’t breathe without You
  • Du gefällst mir – I like You
  • Ich wirklich brauche Dich – I really need You
  • Ohne Dich , kann ich nicht leben ! – I can’t live without You!
  • Mein Herz gehört Dir, nur Dir – My heart belongs to You
  • Wo bist Du Liebling? – Where are You darling?
  • Du bist mein Liebling! – You are my beloved
  • Ich warte auf dich – I’m waiting for You
  • Bleibt bei mir – Stay with me
  • Du bist aussergewöhnlich – You are special
  • Liebe ist kein Wort aber was Ich fühle für Dich – Love is not a word but what I feel for you
  • Ich mag Dich – I like You
  • Ich find Dich superdufte – I think You are great
  • Knutsche Dich – Hugs for You
  • Kuss – Kiss
  • Du bist mein Wunder der Natur – You are mine wonder of nature
  • Du bist mein Superstar – You are my superstar
  • Ich warte auf Dich – I am waiting for You
  • Ich wermisse Dich – I miss You
  • Du bist schön – You are beautiful
  • Wir zusammengehören – We belong to each other
  • Du bist meine Sonne – You are my sun
  • Dein ist mein Herz – My heart is yours
  • Ich libe Dich immer mehr – I love you more and more
  • Ich liebe Dich in allen Sprachen der Welt – I love You in every language in the world
  • Ich danke Dir für Deine Unterstützung – Thank You for your understanding
  • Du bist mein Leben – You are my life
  • du bist mir lieb – you are dear to me
  • Mögen die Küsse die zärtlichen Worte sein, die ich dir nicht sage. – Kisses are the unspoken words of love.

Learn about German females and how to date and marry them on my  posts about dating and relationships in Europe.


Love phrases in Italian

This page contains a useful list of  love quotes in Italian for him and for her. The Italian language,  is the language of love,  just go to Rome, Milan or Naples, and you will understand what I mean. Imagine driving the Amalfi coast in a convertible or  in a gondola in Venice. Was not Romeo and Juliet from Italy?

Further, words of love in Italian and Romantic and love phrases are a great way to attract someone are great to get someone’s attention.  Even if your rapport is in English, if someone has even a remote connection to the Apennine Peninsula then you sprinkle a few phrases in Italian at the right moment and you are in. Similarly if you text message someone or do a mobile chat and put a few Italian words in, it can theoretically raise your creditability as someone who is cosmopolitan.

Modern Italian is a derivative of Latin and hence easy to use if you are an English speaker, as Latin has had an influence over our language. It is interesting to note in the regions of Italy people speak dialect rather than proper Italian. However, if I were to speak a love quotes use the Italian language  as it is more universal.

Love phrases in the Italian language

  • Come dire che amate? – How to say that I you love?
  • Ti amo – I love you
  • Tu sei una stella, la mia stella – You are a star, my star
  • Sto cadendo nell’amore con voi – I am falling in love with you
  • Non posso vivere senza voi – I can’t live without you
  • Il mio cuore è per voi – My heart is for you
  • Gradisco voi di più e più – I like you more and more
  • La mia stella brillante! – My shining star!
  • Al mio amore – To my darling
  • Ti amo con tutta l’anima – I love you with all my heart
  • Mi manchi – I miss you
  • Un milione di baci – Love and kisses
  • Parole circa amore – Words about love
  • tutti coloro che amano – all who love
  • essere innamorato di – be in love with
  • innamorarsi – fall in love
  • innamoramento – falling in love
  • per amore – for love
  • amore vietato – forbidden love
  • Dare il tuo amore – Give your love
  • invaghito – in love
  • gioco d’amore – love game
  • lettera d’amore – love letter
  • storia d’amore – love story
  • amore mio- my love
  • Come iniziare a comunicare – How to start to talk
  • Ciao, bella (bello). Posso offrirti qualcosa da bere? – Hello, beautiful (or handsome). Can I buy you a drink?
  • Balliamo? – Would you like to dance with me?
  • Fa cosi caldo qui o e la tua presenza –  Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
  • Com’è il vino? – How’s the wine?
  • È una bella giornata, no? – It’s a beautiful day, no?
  • Stai da solo – Are you alone?
  • Voglio vederti stasera – I want to see you tonight.
  • Le vostre sensibilità – Your feelings
  • Siete la mia aria – You are my air
  • You siete la donna che più bella ho visto mai – You are my airYou are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
  • Stavo sognando di voi – I was dreaming about you
  • Per favore non dimenticarmi! – Please do not forget me!
  • Sei la mia anima gemella. – You’re my soulmate.
  • Voglio passare il resto della mia vita con te. – I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
  • Questa è la tua risposta? Non mi ami più? Come mai puoi lasciarmi senza risolvere il nostro  roblema? Sono molto arrabbiata/o. Mi hai tradito. – Is this your answer? Don’t you love me anymore? Why you can leave me without solving our problem? I am very upsad. You betray me.
  • Lo sposereste? – Would you marry me?
  • Nozze – Wedding
  • Chiedere per un data – Asking for a date
  • Andate al cinematografo con me? – You go to the cinema with me?
  • Desiderate spendere domani sera con me? – Do you want to spend tomorrow evening with me?
  • Domani alla stessa ora? – So, same time tomorrow?
  • Penso che non abbiamo per caso raduno – I think we haven’t meet each other by chance
  • Quando veniamo a contatto di ancora? – When we meet again?

Want to know more about love Italian style? I am both an American and European and live in both places, I have meaningful insights into relationships from a European perspective Go to my page on Italian girls.


Love phrases in English

This page has simply my favorite English words of love and love phrases win the heart of a romantic.

Why being romantic is the only way to live

I had always been a romantic.  Being painfully lonely as a teen, when other guys were playing football and scoring with chicks, I was reading Jane Austen and Bronte and Lord of the Rings of course.  I got the last laugh because they married young and often the wrong girl. I married my beautiful princess who gives me happiness everyday of my life.

  • What do the jerks and A-h_les, know about pain and regret? Nothing and that is your power.

Being romantic and authentic is better than being the captain of the football team or a  going to a top school or having looks like a model, or money, when it comes to getting the girl or guy from your imagination. Dreamy romantics will always prevail in love. I promise.

I recommend you look at the are of my site that deals with dating, the navigation is found at the bottom of the page.

Anyway, if you are looking for phrases you can text message or SMS on your cell phone to a girl or tell her in person here are a few below.

If you want  words to charm and enchant someone use the expressions mixed in with your own feelings or use them as a base for your own words. Just try some of these, they may seem corny but they work.

  • Love sees with the heart and not with the eyes-Shakespeare
  • The course of true love never did run smooth-Shakespeare
  • All night long I was searching for you, and there you were waiting for me all along -Lestat
  • I know nothing of eloquent words of silvery speech, but when I think of you I can not help myself – Mark Biernat
  • You are from my dreams and the unspoken longings of my heart.
  • I know nothing of sweet words or eloquent speak, if I say anything pleasing to you, its because you bring it out in me.
  • Love conquers all
  • Love does not alter which it find – Shakespeare
  • Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold. – Zelda Fitzgerald
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein
  • Come live with me, and be my love, And we will some new pleasures prove, Of golden sands, and crystal brooks, With silken lines, and silver hooks. – John Donne
  • Who so loves believes the impossible. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning
  • You make my heart skip a beat when you come into the room.

Some people think the English tradition is not romantic, I tend to disagree as I point out the literature and written word in books that deeply moving. Growing up I had romantic idealistic view of the world thanks to writers like Jane Austen and Charlotte Brontë.

Learn more about love I have another part of my website about dating, love and marriage. Many people meet and chat on this site even though it is not a dating site but more of a conservation about love and dating here -> Girls of London and the UK.


Love phrases in Russian

I have lived in Eastern Europe and traveled to Moscow and St. Petersburg and the Russian country side. As a person who is Slavic and lives in both America and Eastern Europe I can honestly say I feel the people here are romantic. I am not just some guy putting phrases up, I live here and there. At the bottom of this page I have navigation to my pages on how to win the heart of a Russian from an insiders perspective. I highly recommend it, I am a total insider when it comes to Eastern Europe and love.

If you want a Russian bride, make her fall in love with you by your words. Most of these girls have had a classical education and respect eloquent speech. It could be in a text message or e-mail or chat. It does not matter.  If pentameter is your forte you will be unstoppable. However, you do not have to such time to develop a silvery tongue, use my love quotes for her (or him) below.

Russian words of romantic love and phrases to win the heart of a Russian princess. I have complied a list of Russian phrases and their pronunciation to help you win the heart of your true love. However, if you want to go the extra mile and really do something sincere for your beloved, learn Russian. You can use these on your mobile phone for texting or a tete-a-tete.  But either way I am an expert on Slavic culture and dating so ask questions.

If you want to know how to win the heart of a Russian for love, please try a few of these lines, they will achieve the desired affect on her (or him), that is surprise and scoring a few points.

I love you in the Russian language

  • Я тебя люблю – Ya tebyA lyublyU – I love you
  • С любовью – S lyubOv’yu- With love
  • Lubov’-eto to, shto nel’z’a pon’at holovoy, yeye nuzhno pochuvstvovat’ sercem. – Love that is what you cann’t understand, you should feel it in your heart.
  • Но жизнь – это когда Любишь. – No zhyzn’- eto kohda lubish. -But life is when you love
  • Если ты любишь меня так же, как говоришь, пожалуйста будь осторожен с моим сердцем. Ты можешь взять его, только не разбей, или мой мир распадется на кусочки! –
    Esli ty lubish menia ta zhe, kak hovorish, pozhalusta bud’ ostorozhen c moim sercem. Ty mozhesh vzat’ evo, tolko ne razbey, ili moy mir raspadots’a na kusochki! – If you love me like you told me, please be careful with my heart. You can take it, just don’t break it, or my world will fall apart!
  • Вот моё сердце. Оно полно любви. – Vot moe serce. Ono polno lubvi. – Here is my heart. It is full of love.
  • Ты мне нравищся. -Ty mne nravishs’a – I like you.

Terms of endearment and love

  • Милая моя – MIlaya moyA – My sweet
  • Солнышко моё – Solnyshko moyo -My sun
  • Дорогая моя – DorogAya moyA -My dear


  • Ты выйдешь за меня? – Ti viy-desh za me-nyA? – Will you marry me?
    моя судьба – Tee ma-yA sud’-bA. -You are my destiny


  • Ti takaya krasivaya – You are so attractive
  • Ti takaya privlekatel’naya – You are so pretty
  • Ti takaya prelesnaya – You are so cute
  • Ti milaya – You are sweet
  • Ti takaya chustvitel’naya – You are sensitive
  • Ты такая красивая – Ti takAya krasIvaya – You are so beautiful
  • Ты такая милая – Ti takAya mIlaya – You are so sweet
  • У Тебя прелесные глаза. – U teb’a prelesnye hlaza. – Your eyes are beautiful.


  • hello – hallo
  • Zdravstvuyte – Good morning

Expressions of love

  • Не запомний меня. – Ne zapomnyy obo mne. – Don’t forget about me.
  • Любовь – это то, что нельзя понять головой, ее нужно почувствовать сердцем.
  • В арифметике любви один плюс один равно все, а два минус один равно ничто. – V arifmetike lubi odia plus odia ravno vse, vse dva minus odia ravno nichto. –
    In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
  • Женщина лишь тогда верит слову “люблю”, когда оно сказано тихо и просто. – Zhenshhina lish tohda verit’ slovu lublu, kohda ono skazano tiho i prosto. – Woman believs in word “love” only when it is said simply and quietly.
  • Любовь – заболевание нежностью. – Lubov’ -zabolevanie nezhnost’u. – Love is illness of sensibility.
  • Любовь – это наркотик. – Lubov eto narkotik. -Love is a drug.
  • Женщина Любит. Мужчина учится Любить. – Zhenshhina l’ubit. Muzhchina uchits’a lubit’. – Woman loves. Man learns how to love..
    Для тебя, ради тебя и за тебя жизнь моя! – Dla teb’a, radi teb’a i za teb’a zhyzn’ maya! -For you, because of you and to you is my life!
  • Пусть меня запрут в твоем сердце, а ключ выбросят. – Pust’ men’a zaprut v votem serce, a kluch wybros’at. – Let they close me in your hart and let they throug out the cay.
  • Люблю, целую, обнимаю – В общем просто обожаю! – Lublu, celuyu, obozhayu. Vobshem prosto obozhayu. – I love, I kiss, I embrance. All in all I’m fascinated.
  • Если б каждый раз, когда я думаю о тебе, падала бы звезда, то луна стала бы одинокой – Eslib kazhdiy raz koda ya dumayu o tebe padala by zvezda, to luna stalaby odinokoy. – If everytime I thought about you star falls down, moon would be lonely.
  • Меня учили, что в часе 60 минут, что в минуте- 60 секунд. Но меня никто никогда не учил, что секунда без тебя- это вечность. – Men’a uchili shto v chase 60 minut, shto v minute 60 sekund. No men’a nikto nikohda ne uchil, shto sekunda bez teb’a eto vechnost’. -I learned that there is 60 minutes in an hour, that there is 60 seconds in a minute, but no one has tought me tha second without you is eternity.
  • Весь мир не стоит и гроша eсли рядом НЕТ – ТЕБЯ! – Ves’ mir ne stoit ni grosha, yesli r’adom net teb’a. – The world doesn’t cost anything, when you aren’t near me.
  • Красивым кажется всё, на что смотришь с любовью. – Krasivym kazhets’a vso na shto spotrish s lubov’u. – wonderful is everything you look at with love.

If you would have a passion for Russian women, here is a part of my site that might perk – our interest. It is a area that deals with dating a Russian girls for ideal love. It gives specific advice you can implement.

Here are my pages on exactly how to win a Russian girl.


Russian literature and why it was important to me

Russian literature has always been a passion of mine for a specific reason. I can recommend Russian novels if you feel similar. Below, is not your traditional perspective, so hold on to your hats.

Social isolation promotes introspection  – I grew up in cold snowy New England and went to an all boys English boarding school. It was the ultimate in isolation from women. If you think you are alone and separate from the world with no great social life with the opposite gender, well, welcome to the club, a lot of people feel this way. A combination of living under dark skies and no romantic connections was great fuel for a life in my imagination. Kind of like a social sensory deprivation tank.  The pain of loneliness works in a strange way on those who are intellectually curious. This made me dream of women only from afar.  It did not hurt I was also of Slavic background. If your ancestry came from Eastern Europe you might be able to relate.

Therefore, in my adolescent imaginative life, I combined all these elements together and somehow found an escape in romantic Russian literature and Russian poetry. Romantic Russian literature was substance for my soul.

Are you a romantic or can relate to the pain of life? It does not matter how you became romantic or craved stories of intense hardship books by Russian authors contain drama that puts reality TV and the world we live in to shame. The characters are so real and vivid because they were often based on real people or archetypes of people, and the appeal is the aha moment when you way, ‘I have experienced something similar’.  This is why Russian literature might have an appeal for you. If you want a romantic journey into Russian literature I recommend the following reading list:

Below is a relatively superficial list of my personal favorites. I could write a novel on Slavic literature. It feels different from a soulful stand point then Western literature. However, the below list are my personal favorites. I would be interested in hearing yours. Leave a comment if you can. I would love to start a dialogue connected to dreamy Romantic literature and poetry and see if anyone feels the same.

By the way if you  feel lonely and have no contact with the opposite gender you might also be interested in my post here romantic and alone.

Idealistic and romantic girls are out there

Checkhov describes ‘moments’

Women often say ‘it was a moment’ to describe a romantic interlude or some interaction that never should have been nor had a future. I started with the Short stories of Anton Chekhov. In Europe people read his short stories, in the USA he is known for his plays. I like his short stories. My favorite at the time being a short story called “The Kiss”.

The Kiss was about a young man who was at a party and accidentally kissed by a woman, as she entered a dark room and thought it was her love. I loved this idea as I was distant from any women living in small town New England. I imagined like the main character in the story that somehow, a girl would find me or whether it was mistaken or real. And fall in love with me.

If you feel lonely and detached I can recommend this story.

Anything by Dostoevsky for answers to life deep questions

Although not directly Romantic literature, it is romantic in the sense that it speaks of the loneliness and pain of being human. It is hard to be a good moral person in this world and all of Dostoevsky’s books challenge the reader with these issues. It brings you to a deeper level. Forget Freud and the mental ‘master_ bate _ shun’ of modern psychology, Dostoevsky has a greater insight into the human mind.

Dostoevsky explored human psychology in a spiritual content. The ideas are universal. How can you not be an interesting person if you dive into the experiential pain of the characters of a Dostoevsky novel.

I used to dream of meeting a girl who loved Dostoevsky like I did, a mix of beauty, virtue and intellect.

Anna Karenina – the ultimate girl to date

I always wanted a girl like Anna Karenina, mildly depressed and nothing to live for. Why? I felt the same. Who does not want to meet a deep meaningful person who has goodness in them but lost their way? From a man’s perspective, we want to rescue these lost souls, I think it is encoded in our genetic desire to save and take care of women.

Nikolai Gogol – liberal or conservative – the original Matrix story

Dead Souls was a metaphor both political and culturally. Never been one for political literature, however, in the context of a spiritual novel it does fall into Romantic Russian literate. Maybe you could think of the way, corporations or the government (depending on where you fall on the political spectrum) use people, almost trade their souls for a pittance. How we live lives of quite desperation.

A modern Russian romantic
Sergei Lukyanenko is a sci-fi writer who like Anne Rice deals with a Gothic romantic idea. Although I think the theme has been a little over played in teenage literature, I would classify Sergei Lukyanenko as a Russian romantic writer. Specific not science fiction but more the genre he choose to act out his drama, in a fantastical realm, but again the charters are archetypes.

5 epochs of in Russian literature

Early writings – From the Ukrainian classic of the Primary Chronicles from the Kievian period of Rus to Trediakovsky (the start of ‘enlightenment literature from Peter the great’s time).

Golden age of Russian literature – The 19th century, names like Turgenev (on my my favorites), Leskov, Saltykov-Scchedrin. Ler,pmtov. And the names mentioned above in my list.

Silver age of Russian Writers – This includes 20th century literature before Communism. Mostly poetry and names like Kuprin, and Bunin and Mayakovsky.

Communist era literature – Alexander Solzhenitsyn a Slavophile holding the flame of Russian culture during this dark era is the icon of the time.

Modern Russian literature – things are a lot less serious now, and literature for me has more of a fantastic or fantasy feel to it. I think it again reaches into escapism from the drudgery of everyday life.

Resources to explore about Russian Romantic literature

I created a page on romantic Russian lines. It needs to be updated but still does the job.

I created a website just for the Russian language, it has a full free grammar course. I will not created a link as I do not want to interlink my own websites but here it is – Crazy name I know.

You can go to my blog about love and dating. I created a guide to Russian girls and how to meet them. It is an interesting fast read.

Thank you and I would love to hear your personal experiences with Romantic Russian literature.