I am a guy and I will tell you in a no-nonsense way why you are not married. A guy’s point of view, why you are single and have no husband. So stop flipping though Self magazine and listening to your girlfriend’s lame relationship advice. Here are the real reasons you are single, and knowing these will enlighten you on how to get a husband.
The reason I am writing this post is, I can not tell you the number of women, educated and intelligent and together in their lives, and yet are single, unmarried and lonely (and believe me we all know it is painful to be single). The question is why is this?
Let me explain with this metaphor, if you know why you are single, the rest will take care of itself. It is like in Bikram yoga when we are told to exhale deeply, the inhale will take care of happen. Similarly, if you know why you are single, you will know how to get a husband without trying. So take a deep breath, have a cup of tea and read my post.
Sure maybe you have had some boyfriends or even have one now, but you do not have martial bliss. These single ladies with their fancy degrees and coach handbags are not getting being propelled to a higher level.
What is a higher level? That is to have a white picket fence, a dog and a
station wagon with wood on the side or SUV small car (post crisis) and a nice hubby who loves and supports you and helps you with all their fears. Someone who you miss, even when he is taking the trash out. A cordial husband that you can get silly with and tickle each other and have ketchup fights with. Someone who makes you feel, when he holds you tight, like you and him are the only two people in the world… and a crying baby who you love with all your heart is there to remind you are not. This is the highest level in life.
Here is why women are single or do not attract a proper husband:
- Not attractive
- Not easy-going
- Does not inspire ideals
- Weak brain (no intellectual curiosity)
- Has not met the right one
The purpose of this post is to look at each of these point and their explanatory value as to why girls are single. Sure there have been mainstream books on he subject such as ‘ Smart women foolish choices’, but most of these pop psychology books are not radical enough in their honestly and written by women. This is what I give you, only the truth.
Girls are not attractive enough to get a husband
Before all you haters start writing nasty comments that women should be accepted, and a size 12 or 16 is OK, and who am I to judge, hear me out. I did not make up the rules. One million years of evolutionary programming is not going to be negated by a couple of decades of militant materialistic ideology in liberal pockets of the USA or UK. I am sorry.
However, the good news and the hopeful message is all females are beautiful. I have never met a woman who was not, they all have their special attraction. Again, I think it is evolution. Love is not reserved for the beautiful and the strong. It is for everyone.
However, that being said, why would you not want to optimize your looks to attract the mate of your dreams? Sure it takes a little self-sacrifice and disciple, but beauty is something that is easily obtainable to all, not something written in the stars or our genetic code.
When I was a boy and reading classics in Greek literature and I remember the story of the man who could choose beauty, wealth or wisdom. I know the proper answer is wisdom, but I always wanted beauty. I wanted to be so cordial that I could get the girl of my dreams. Little did I know that beauty is not something given by the gods, but something woman-made. We can all be at least eights on a scale from one to ten.
If you are alone and with no husband ask yourself are you making yourself friendshipy and attractive? I am not talking about ‘nice or cute’ in a girl’s sense. You know, where your girlfriends see you they tell you ‘oh that haircut looks good’. And you both are smiling at each other in an affirmative way like girls do who are relating to each other. If you look cute why do you not have a guy that looks like Brad Pitt, but with the morals and ideals of Captain Frederick Wentworth. It is because your girlfriends are not seeing beauty like a dude does.
If you want to know what is attractive on a girl (read my post on the subject for more detail, I am talking about friendshipy in a rustic animal instinctual sense, so that when guys see you, they undress you (rip your clothes off) in their minds.
Wild rustic Homo sapiens girl with a 21st century minimalist fashion or a cubby plucked, painted, dyed girl for your girlfriends to say ‘oh she looks cute’?
To look wild and rustic, let nature guide you in terms of attractiveness. Read my post on how to be attractive. Do not wear perfumes and dye your hair. Let it grow and get in shape and learn to develop some pheromones, and by all means be a size 8 ( at most) or 6 or 4 or less and fit (yes muscles and strength) like ‘primitive Homo sapien hunter girl’ from 20,000 years ago (think the Hunger games if you will). Look wild and dress with style that is simple. Appeal to men’s instincts, rather than reading women’s magazines or other girls to guide you in fashion. Remember the fashion industry is largely connected to money and disconnected to helping you find soul mate. I want you to win and I am trying to help.
Women want to adjust everything. Fix aspects of their relationships, get the guy civilized. Lets face it, if it were not for women we might all be living in the caves. They want to make sure men prepare the nest. But why do women go excessive about this? I do not know. They want to nit pick and nag a man about details that are unimportant. Men will take care of women, just pick a man who was raised by a good mother.
Women want to raise their own children, not some adult male whose mother did not teach them to be responsible. So its easy, find a good man and you do not have to adjust him (too much).
A friend of mine had a girlfriend who use to leave lists of things for him to do on saturday morning. Yeah right. They dated for a while but that was the last straw.
Guys want a super cordial lady that does not hassle them – capiche?
That is it. That’s what I got when I married my wife. A good-looking girl who is easy-going. Of course there is more to it, but basically that is what guys want. The good news is you can be super cordial if you follow my fashion advice. And easy-going, well it comes from spiritual work or being raised that way, try some yoga or read some books on inner peace. If you try to change someone else, often there is something in our lives that are amiss.
Girls minds are programmed to see details because they have to raise children, but girls have a choice. The options are: to hassle their man about details or have a husband. You will scare good men away. Girls take it easy, if something annoys you about your guy, ask yourself if it was the reserve situation and your man was giving you a hard time. Do not focus on non important things, develop inner peace to find a husband.
On the other hand, do not be so easy and pick anyone. Get a real prince and make him work for you. I got my first real date with my girl after a year of chasing her. Play to win.
Does not inspire ideals
Any girls can get a boyfriend. Let me give you and example.
When is a four and eight? When she puts out. Got it? Girls can attract guys by misusing their physical virtue. Girls you want a guy? Not just to marry you, but make your dreams come true, an idealistic guy. The take my advice, be an idealist yourself. You do not have to be perfect or never have done wrong. But do not be a ‘hip and cool’ modern girl who is a serial monogamous, yet does not have the man of your dreams. You will find yourself like a lot of my friends living with cats and alone.
- Got it? So stop letting guys treat your body like an amusement park. If you have strong urges, I understand, try self-indulgence, but to get a guy let him work for you.
What can I say, I am not throwing any stones, but I am not a big believer in physical relations outside of the context of marriage. I know no ‘pure’ girls’ that do not have a zillion guys who would climb the highest mountains for them. On the other hand, I do know a lot of ‘modern women’ who cannot get a guy to commit.
Maybe this is not all that important, but guys like idealistic girls. To attract idealistic guys, do not be the town ‘you know what’. But remember purity comes not from the body, but from the mind. So no mater what you have done in your past or keep doing because you can not control your urges and needs, your heart and ideals will lift you to a higher level. You can be the ‘town you know what’, but if you hold goodness in your heart, some guy will see it. Really, many guys will even marry ‘working girls’ if they are pure in heart.
Intellectual curiosity – Girls over-estimate attractiveness and underestimate their need for intellectual development
Girls unplug from your mobile phone and iPods. It is so annoying that American girls are plugged into their cell phones. On a first date with a guy they will even take calls. Unless you are an ER doctor, it is rude and a sign of low intelligence, a weak brain.
It is so unhigh to be a girl with no brains. Brains is not defined as IQ scores or Ivy league degrees, it is about intellectual curiosity. A girl reading Jane Austen or wanting to travel the world and learn languages and study art and music and history and explore the meaning of life questions will get a guy who is interested in the same. For example, my wife and I read books on park benches (now at playgrounds with our daughter) together.
It is so unfun to be with some fake blond, tanned, with big doorknobs woman with nothing going on upstairs. Not even for a night. I would rather go back to playing chess on the Internet and let her whine about coming back to bed. It is something instinctive that people want to pass their genes to smart ( translation – curious) people. For example, Mozart has no trouble getting girls I hear.
Have not met the right one
It the only point that matters. If you are single and lonely it is because God has not brought you and your other half together. Maybe you need more time to develop spiritually or to learn patience, a ‘desert crossing’ if you will. But like the song says ‘everybody loves somebody sometime’. The same applies to men who want to get a wife. It will happen to you and when it does, you will forget all the pains and loneliness of being single and even most of your single friends. At that point you will be welcomed into a secret club, that you can not explain to anyone who is not in the club. It is called being a parent, and a wife. And let me tell you, it is a great club to be in.
If you are single and do not have your spouse, write me, leave a comment below and I can help diagnosis the issue, and I will help.