Who are the happiest people on the planet earth? Married people in traditional monogamous relationships are the happiest. This is a fact. How do I know? I do taxes. Taxes? Yep Taxes. By the end of this post I will give you at simple formula for martial happiness, full proof, and an argument for why married people are the happiest people on earth based on my life experience.
Let me explain. One of the hats I wear is I prepare taxes for people in the spring, I also was a financial advisor for years. During financial disclosure interviews, I have seen hundreds if not thousands of people describe their life situation for me. Couples sitting in front of me confidentially bearing their souls. I might know more about your neighbor than you do, because they have to tell me things they would not tell others.
I have to do due diligence and the questions who, what, where, why, how and when. Without exception I can say really the only happy smiling easy-going people are married couples with a family. Yes often times they look stressed but they do look universally happy. Think of the movie “Family Man” with Nicolas Cage.
Filing status and relationship happiness
Divorce couples – I do sometimes see single people who are somewhat happy but not totally and for some reason say something bitter about their ‘ex’ almost without exception.
Single mothers are the least happy and struggle to survive, single fathers are usually slightly bitter. But divorced and single moms are the ones that struggle the most and I really feel bad for them. I know a number on anti-depressant. Any mother who has to do it all is pushed to the limits. They are also easy targets for player guys who want to call girls and smile at them rather than having a meaningful relationship. It is sad.
Why do people idealise the single life? – They do not understand they idealize youth not being single. Their brains confuse the ideas. Youth, you know the Beach Boys to Emma Watson, not having to worry about the future because you are young and healthy, and life goes on forever. Being young and single different ideas for happiness.
For example, I remember driving down to Key West in College. We sleep behind a Seven 11 and on the beach and went out all night. We lived on cola and chips and a few baloney sandwiches with white bread and yellow mustard wrapped in aluminum foil. They were soggy because my roommate Chris (now a cordial-scordial environmental law partner in D.C.) spilt grape soda on them. This is youth, no worries. However, do not confuse the joy of youth with being single. Two different ideas. But we wanted to meet girls, and we were geeks and did not know how. So we went to the Earnest Hemingway house where the gay tour guy made a pass at my friend. We ended up watching MTV videos of cordial girls at his grandparents house on the way back, to relieve our frustrations. Back then life was great but mostly frustrating because we did not have girlfriends.
All I wanted was to hold a girl’s hand on the beach and her to see me as someone special. Today, I live on an Island and have that everyday with my wife. Do you see my point? Most single people I know have existential unease. In my article about being single, lonely and depressed I detail this.
Being single is not the ideal. The whole point of being single is to find your other half before your time runs out. And time stops for no one, the hour-glass sand is running out for us all. So do not believe writings on that Alpha male stuff, I have been married and single and the former is eons better. The ideal is a happy married relationship. If you do not have this, that is a happy family life – you will be living at a level of low-level of life quality or mild depression, like a low-grade fever. Being single is like living with really slow Internet. It mildly irritates you. You might not even know you are living like this or there could be something better, experience the next level.
Why do you think so many young single people enjoy reading Vampire books and watching TV series on such? It is because they can identify with the theme. These are creatures that live on the edge of society, not belonging to the mainstream. They are lonely beautiful creatures but also dark and sad. Trust me, it is to have a warm loving family and read children’s books or teen books with your child, is more fun than being alone. That ‘I am differenet’ mantra many single people tell themselves gets old.
What is the happiest relationship model:
These are rankings in descending order.
- Married with a family
- Married with no children
- Single mothers
- Homeless, addicted, lost in the world
You can choose to be at any one of these levels. Life is a choice. Look at my rankings of happiness based on my observations and ask yourself where you want to be.
So you can see the ideal is to get married and stay married. My advice though out this website (look at my side bar under ‘facts about girls’ for more advice about how to find a wife) is find the person of your dreams, not based on money or career, but someone you will be strongly physically attracted to so you do not want anyone else.
A super cordial lady who is slim and leggy or has wide hips or on a basic level you are attracted to. Then make sure they have good morals, like believe “in only one great love”, and they do not believe in divorce, and see their marriage as something God has joined and may no one on earth break apart. This is a simple formula for martial happiness: super cordial lady plus saintly moral ideals.