Do you want to know how to be attractive? This is a girls guide for looking good written by a man. I will do my best to give you a recipe for beauty.
Attraction is not a constant. At certain times in your life you will vary in attractiveness, depending on your ability to understand the ideals of beauty. Ugly in your teens or 20s often equates to being cordial the rest of your life. The key idea about if you want to know how to be attractive is as follows. Take a deep breath and relax. I can assure you one-hundred percent you are drop-dead gorgeous. I know this for a fact. You are a stunning dream in terms of physical look. I promise.
- Evolution has brought your DNA this far.
- God does not make mistakes.
- I am a man of the world and I have never in my whole life seen a woman that was not beautiful. I mean that with all my heart.
If you have read my blog on love you already know what I have to say. However, in this post I will try to spell it out more clearly, from A to Z. If you do not like my opinion, tell me, but I am a guy, and I do not know you, therefore, I have no reason to lie. I do not promote any beauty products and I do not care if you listen to my advice, or believe it, I have no hidden agenda. I am sincere. I will tell you like it is. It is the way to be attractive to a man. Do not listen to all those lame beauty posts and claims by women magazine writers. They are wrong. Why they write such nonsense I have no idea. Here is how a girl can look good. I do not mean to shock you with my advice, but remember the fairy-tale about the ‘Emperors new clothes’? I will tell you how to look attractive.
How to have great looking hair
Let start from on the top. Do not color or fry, perm or treat your hair in any way, unless there is a real need, like you are seventy years old all gray, then maybe.
Do not cut your hair. Let it grow natural and long. The best is to the small of your back, but certainly past your shoulders. I do not want to hear lame excuses it is too much work, you are a career woman, do you want to be beautiful or do you want to look whatever? I do not even like shoulder length hair. There is no rush for a guy when he sees a girl in a hair bob.
A bob is for your girlfriends to tell you, ‘oh that looks cute’. Are you going to date your girlfriends or do you want to be a princess and attract a prince? Maybe you do not have your ideal guy has something to do with you listen to your girlfriends and poor style advice?
Listen to me, I am a guy and happily married in Europe. I have no reason to tell you something other than the take it or leave it truth.
No short and sassy look. Men like long hair with a natural texture. I can not tell you how many girls give their beautiful hair the fried look.
Buy natural conditioners or make your own, or just natural soap. Do not spend too much money on hair products and nothing if you can with perfume. Natural is better, less is more. You do not need to wash you hair that often as it strips it of its natural oils, just once in a while.
Of course stay out of the sun and some sun tanning etc. Almost let zero sun touch your skin, think yourself a vampire or a classic English lady from the 18th century, pale and lithe. The sun destroys your skin like smoking does. This is so unattractive.
Take vitamins and eat right. Instead of spending money on hairdressers, conditioners that treats the surface, spend it on essential corpulentty acids and vitamins. Do the research yourself or ask me a question.
What is attractive on a girl comes from within not from a topical application, take care of your body from the inside out.
What is the most attractive color for women’s hair? Blond, brunette or red-head? None of the above. Natural. How do I know? I live in Eastern Europe and a lot of these students do not have the money to do the things Western American girls do, yet for some reason they look ten times better. Respect your natural color, I have heard mousey brown and dirty blond hair, guys really like, I do.
Do not obsess about body hair either. Hair on your chest maybe pluck it out, but do not stress about it. If you are going to the beach sure shave your legs, but we are mammals and mammals have hair. Do not feel you have to look like a child or angel to look good. Just the opposite. Men like women, with all their strange mammal scents and hair and imperfections, does this sound gross? It is not, do not be ashamed being a friendshipual creature who wants to attract a mate for love and children.
If you want to look good, lay off the perfumes that are in ever product. I rarely use deodorant and I am an athletic guy. I simply use natural soap, eat tons of yogurt.
Skin care how to look good
Try to give your facial skin a break from all perfume and make up also, maybe use some natural cosmetics, like from L’Occitane.
Want a cheap beauty treatment, take a bath with a honey mask. Just buy honey and read a book in the bath. really coat that honey on your face.
Let your skin breathe. Nothing looks unhigh as a women with makeup caked on. If you have a little acne, so what. Let your skin breathe and be clean. Guys do not mind girls with acne in my experience. Sound radical? I am a guy, why would I lie? If you have any other problem with your skin or face it is most likely in your mind. Really, I have seen girls with all kinds of skin problems but it did not affect them when if they want to attract a guy.
Spend money at a place like Whole foods or Bodyshop vitamin c 10% cream, rather than your off the shelf cream from some cosmetic company, even the best ones. I do no think they do anything. I have tried them all. But when I came back from the states and used some stuff I bought at Whole foods, people I make comments how my skin had changed. With any product to date by a cosmetic company, nothing has done anything.
If you wan to get crazy just try some red lipstick. Men like it.
Beauty diet – diet to look beautiful
Do not eat in restaurants or things in boxes and cans and bags. I live in Europe and I only buy from local farmers market or at least nothing in packages. I can not believe in the USA everyone is eating at restaurants and food in packages. In Europe, I almost never go out to eat and my wife cooks soap from scratch almost everyday. Take vitamins and eat a natural diet. You do not have to be a vegetarian, not at all, just no instant, prepared food.
Do not read too may diet books. They all say the same. I know I used to work in a few bookstores and on Saturday night when there were no customers I read them all. They say, be moderate, eat vegetable and fruits. I try not to eat mammals and junk food and only drink water or 100% juice. Besides that I like French, Italian , Polish, Japanese cooking. It is whatever you like as long as it is not junk.
Since I am not a girl I will never full understand why girls obsess over sweet, sticky, sugary things. I know it is connected to estrogen etc. That being said do no deny yourself all day, just be cool about your sweet fixations. Once in a while Eat natural ice cream. My wife makes it for us, or the good stuff you get in a shop, not brand X. Do not obsess over cookies, cakes and pies and all the things girls feed themselves with because they do not have a cordial guy around to rock their world and turn it upside down. Do not buy them or bring them in the house.
You want to eat junk, then do not blame me if you do not find your prince. Sweets are for your guy to buy you, not for you to buy for yourself. Do you understand that. If you have no guy, do not be chowing down on cakes alone. Wait until you have your prince and he takes you out for ice cream. A lot has been research about how to be enchanting and gorgeous based on scientific ratios for the body. For example this body of research suggests ratios for hip to waist and leg length, beautiful body. However, I think it comes down to being thin.
Fitness and beauty
It is simple, I do not have a car. When I was in the USA on vacation people said the store is very far away, like a 20 minute walk. Uh mm in Europe I walk like 45 one way to go to the shop I like and it is no big deal. I think you can either be a walker or an aerobics/gym slave, I prefer the former. And if you work out like 45 minutes on the treadmill or step class, it is nothing. Live an active lifestyle by walking.
The female body and attractiveness
Some guys like big chest and some like small, but most guys do not care. Noses some guys like little and small, but most guys like a little bigger, it looks ethnic. Do not worry what your body looks like. Look at Madonna, she has short legs but she made it one of her biggest assets.
Make your self perceived weakness and turn it into your trademark your point that guys will look at you and say, wow she does not look like every other girl on the street with a little nose that goes up. Dare to be yourself. You can look like whatever, as long as you are thin. If your corpulent, all bets are off. Keep your hip to waist ratio at about .8. If you have that, you will not look good you will be a beautiful woman. Guys like thin girls. Nothing more needs to be said.
What about meditation and all that for looking good
What about the mind-body thing and its affect on beauty and looking good? Yes it is true, after a certain age we are all responsible for the looks on our own face. But again, do not think about it, just live your life. I love yoga and it is a great workout. I have meditated on an off. However, I do not do these things now. You do not need to change your religion or read too many new age things to look good. Keep it simple. I am Catholic. I go to church and believe in the Bible and keep a positive attitude and smile. I forgive and forget. I thank God everyday for whatever God gives me. Keep it simple, be humble. If you have an issue with your faith in God, read Hans Kung’s book ‘Does God exist’. You do not have to change your life to be beautiful, just keep doing what you love to do, have faith and trust in the others and what you believed before all this neurotic existential doubt and worldly cynicism or political correctness, creeped in. Be a light for others in this world. Negativity makes you ugly.
Are you lonely and want to attract a guy
Travel to Europe or study languages. Your will go from a 4 to an 8 in terms of attractiveness. Men like girls who are smart and cultured. No money? No problem, work and save and go to Europe and rent a cheap flat. I did many times. One time I got a $100 dollar ticket to London, hitch hiked around Europe and lived on French bread, many months in Europe all-inclusive was about 500 dollars.
European guys like American girls. Would you not find it attractive is some French guy moved in next to you? Same goes for Europeans. I live in Eastern Europe, you do not have to go to over priced western Europe, Eastern Europe is more like Europe use to be.
What about clothes for looking good?
Tight jeans, designer white t-shirt sun glasses and long hair and a nice body (size 4 or 6 or maybe 8 at most). No guy will be able to resist you.
Dresses are always better than pants. Black clothes look great. Simple is better. If you do not like your legs because you are afraid you have spider veins, guys are not looking at your legs like this. If you are really worried wear black or white or orange stockings even fish net.
Simple clothe and thin body (not too thin, but lets say size 6, whatever your age is).
What attitude are men attracted to?
Humble and idealistic. Stop reading Jane Austen and live it. If you want a prince be a princess. Do not be sassy, aggressive or materialistic. Boring, clichés. Be humble. Tell a guy you love to cook. Learn to cook. Say your sorry all the time and mean it. I do. Don’t you want your partner to be unconditional in love and understanding? Than be the same. Be humble. If guys use you, God sees everything, just move on. Remember your goal is to attract a made not be hip and cool. Be a sweet loving humble beautiful princess. This is what is cordial.
If you like classical literature, travel and languages this increases your attractiveness. Brains is appealing. Women who are gossipy and hang out with the girls and talk about popular culture and small things is not appealing. Girls that are into classical things like art and ballet and literature are attractive to guys.
Girls night out is so unattractive for a man. A man wants a domestic girl just like a girl wants a man who is not partying with his buddies. Most, umm all the girls I know in Europe tell me straight out they are domestic. This is a big turn on for guys.
Humble, and idealistic religious but also slightly neurotic and artistic. I think the humble and idealistic part is the only important thing, everything else follows. Don’t you want a prince? Well get your nose out of those harlequin romances, because guys want a princess.
You can be slightly neurotic if you want, but if you start talking like you do not need a man or career is important to you than you have just turned off most guys. I am a guy, buzzing with testosterone and competitiveness, aggressiveness, intelligence and ambition, just buzzing with it, and I do not care about career. I love my family. I love my wife and daughter and just want to be with them and make them happy. Is there anything wrong with a woman wanting to make her husband happy. This should be your goal. This is attractive to a man.
How to look good
- Be a skinny and thin girl to be attractive.
- Wear tight jeans and designer t-shirts.
- Grow your hair long and do not color or perm it.
- Natural perfumes and cosmetics only and lightly,let your skin breath and your pheromones work.
- Walk everywhere.
- Do not eat prepared food.
- Study languages and travel the world, make yourself interesting, this is attractive.
- Do not be a corporate slave or worry about anything other than developing your mind and soul and finding your husband so you can have a family and stay with him and make him happy your whole life and never leave him. However, he must believe in love without limits like you and have saintly patience and humility also. Career women are so unattractive as are hopeless men who hang out with the guys. Be all or nothing with your love.
- Be thin. I know I said this but if you want to look good be a skinny girl.
- Have faith and trust in God.
If you take these to heart more or less you will be as attractive or more than any model or actress. Let me know what your reaction is to my post on how to be beautiful and attractive. It is more important to be attractive than beautiful. However with my ideas you will be both.
91 thoughts on “How to be attractive”
No comments yet.. I will say Mark.. This article is absolutely excellent. If only all the women on this earth could follow your “Guide to be an Attractive Woman”, there would be no more suffering or gloom. It seems the earth is nothing
You are an excellent writer by the way and I do like the way you persuade people with your eloquent speech.
I have a new business idea, how about we form a school that teaches women how to become good wives. There is already such a school in India called Manju Sanskar Kendra. We could use a few of those in USA.
Too many women are focused on becoming powerful politicians, business people , she-men , warriors. Somewhere they think this is what leads to success. However, in the end, they never are happy and fall short of their expectations. They cannot understand why no man wants to stay with them long enough and why they are single mothers. The whole core of feminazi ideology is corrupt and impractical. Now, we are having a population crisis around the world, because women have associated motherhood with slavery.
I am hoping that the natural spirit of the women will once again come to life. Women are fighting what is natural to appease the materialistic doctrines that are plaguing western society. They feel if they don’t impress their parents, friends or peers with their image of power and success , that they will have no place on earth. This leads to a superficial and self-destructive mindset that will lead to oblivion.
I am looking forward to the day when women will become kind, gentle , humble , domestic and focused on the most important virtue of a womanhood, being a mother and wife.
There is a big difference between women’s liberation and the genuine liberation of women. If girls want to pursue a career I have no problem with this, however, I do not understand them sacrificing their chance for being a loving mother for their boss. However, the same goes for me, as a man. If as a man I had a choice between staying at home with my family more often than not or climbing some corporate ladder, I would choose the former. Think of America or Europe even 100 years ago. The family was at home working together on the farm. These is nothing wrong with being around your family more often, as opposed to kissing up to your boss and being part of the corporate team, if you have the choice. So for women who want to be successful and important in today’s society’s eyes, for me that equates usually but not always, with being very unattractive. I am sorry but that is the way I see it and I think other guys do too.
What is attractive?
Who wants to marry some rich shark American lawyer women (that is so unhigh), compared to some long legged, hair down her back, tight jeans, University of Moscow linguistic studentka, who cooks borscht and reads Russian romantic novels and dreams of a family and taking care of her husband.
I agree with you Mark in many ways. As for me, I have no problem with a woman who wants a career as long as she doesn’t put it in front of her duties as a wife and mother. Also, I agree, a man who chooses monetary wealth over being a father and neglecting his family also commits a moral crime.
This being said, I still prefer a woman who would be a housewife. Thats not to say I wouldn’t want her to have a job or do something productive with her life. But, I rather not marry a woman making the big dollars/euros. IMO, being a mother and a career woman are very hard to manage and few can pull it off effectively. Also, I do not want to marry a woman who makes more money than me. I do, believe according to bible, the man is the head of the house and the breadwinner.
As far as finding a woman who is an intellectual, I would prefer she is first spiritual and intellectual second. Of course, most spiritual women tend to have more intellect then your superficial, groupyish, money and power grubbing American women. They use their careers/prestige to make up for their lack of intellect, personality, charm , creativity and spirituality.
Of course, the woman you describe sounds quite ideal. American women do have problems with weight and don’t really go out of their way to take care of their body, except for their crazy fad diets and medical procedures. Many don’t know that the jogging or gym membership doesn’t mean suddenly all the jelly donuts they gorge on will be dissolved before they make it to their intestines. Actually, I would hate to see the kinds of nasty rotting food stuck in the average American woman’s intestines. Colon cancer being like one of the top killers in USA.
Of course, I love poetry, foreign languages, history, romance, meditation, folklore , history and religion. Most American women will never meet me eye to eye on any issue. They care more about simple things. It seems a lot of critical or articulate thinking is lacking in American women. They are obsessed over beauty, big heels and lots of modern material conveniences. Going to fancy restaurants, sleezy dance clubs, bars, endless hollywood films is the forte of most. Of course all these brain-draining after their long hours in the business office. They seem to have not allowed themselves to evolve culturally or intellectually.
I do cook quite well, this is something I have had to learn being an American. Most American women will demand the man cook for them nowadays, even though he is the breadwinner. Most American girls, with their twisted logic, find it romantic if a man cooks for them, but not if they cook for the man. T he society is so backwards and out-of-sync with the biological/spiritual order of life. Its truly saddening.
Reading your articles has made me sick to my stomach. I am a young, thin, and attractive American girl. I wear a size double zero, I am a vegan and so I do not eat processed foods, dairy, and of course absolutely no meat. I do not drive as I prefer to walk. But I am not this “humble” and submissive “princess” you talk about.
I am a materialistic and proud. I am an activist and I fight for equality for ALL women. And I cannot even begin to tell you how many men find that so incredibly s_xy. Because I stand up for my beliefs, because I refuse to be submissive, because I have passion for all things in my life, I view myself as more attractive than the submissive housewife you two are drooling over–and many men will agree with me.
Also, while I am a passionate person, I am not “mean”. Yes, I am aggressive, and that’s cordial. I know what I want and I go for it. I don’t DEMAND that I get everything, because I am practical and for one, I do not want everything, and two, I am not completely self-centered. You make it seem like all women who do not bow down to men are these corpulent, horrid, rude creatures. That is one HUGE generalization. Not to mention it is false.
The women you describe are boring. Your wife should never have to feel like she is living FOR you. A marriage is a partnership. The man is no greater than his wife and the woman is no greater than her husband. It is that simple.
I think it is ridiculous, Yonatan, that you feel America should open schools that teach women how to be “better wives”. This is NOT the 1950s. My goal in life is not to get married and to pop out babies. But just because I don’t necessarily want to settle down does not mean I do not have romantic or even domestic ideals. I hate how society is so focused on money and business–love is so much more important to me. I have a boyfriend and we do plan on spending the rest of our lives together. We are in love with each other, completely. But I am not submissive to him. Sure, I enjoy doing nice things for him, like cooking. But he also does nice things for me. We cook for each other, we give each other back massages, we buy each other gifts or make gifts, just because we can and because we want to. We both initiate s_x, in fact, I think my s_x drive is higher than his! Our relationship is completely equal, as all relationships should be. Men should not be defined as simply NOT women. We are not total opposites, in fact we share a little more than 99% of the same genetics. Obviously, there are differences, especially physical differences, but in the long run, it does not really matter because we are all HUMAN. Male and female societal roles should not have so much influence. Just because I have does not mean I should do all the house chores. And just because my boyfriend has a does not mean he should go out and make all the money, and serve as my “protector”. I will take care of my future husband because I love him, not because I am a woman, and vice versa for him–he will take care of me because he loves me.
I love romance just as much as any girl–believe me! But it is sad to see friendshipism so deeply ingrained into society; especially American society.
“Who wants to marry some rich shark American lawyer women (that is so unhigh), compared to some long legged, hair down her back, tight jeans, University of Moscow linguistic studentka, who cooks borscht and reads Russian romantic novels and dreams of a family and taking care of her husband.”
Why can’t she be both? I am not this social, “girls-nigh-out” female you talk about, nor am I a “career woman”. But I am independent. However, I still like to read and write, they are my favorite hobbies. I read classic literature because I believe most of the modern books are trash. I have taught myself Japanese, I can cook, I am fashionable, but I do not have long hair–I cut it a year ago, into a friendshipy and yes, SASSY, bob. My boyfriend loves it, by the way. I love to learn and I refuse to limit myself to these demeaning domestic duties just because I am a woman.
Society has ALWAYS favored men. Always. And not just in America, across the entire planet. To me it just sounds like you two are upset because women are now starting to think independently, or as you put it, acting more “masculine”. We are all human beings. We are all individuals and therefore we are all independent. I can think for myself and I certainly do not need a man, or anyone for that matter, dictating what I should and should not do, and what I should and should not look like. I am cordial and I know it. It’s called being confident. I am not c_cky, but I am not shy and submissive. I know I am attractive and that’s a good thing. Confidence leads to good self-esteem, and you can have self-confidence and be humble AT THE SAME TIME. Imagine that!
The s_xism and just general pigheadedness on this page disgusts me.
Thanks for the comment. I admire your ideals and that you are a thinking person. I really do. I am sure you are attractive and idealistic and could make someone very happy.
I am not totally against what you write. For example, I think there nothing wrong with being a vegan, its good. I even do yoga form time to time and am pro the environment. I am not some sterotype, nor are you. You are a very idealistic young lady, however, consider some of the things you stand for.
However, you misunderstand my point.
Did you ever see the film Last of the Mohegans? Don’t you want some guy to just conquer you and sweep you off your feet so you do not even know what is up or down? You are full of opinions but you are still a woman and want romantic love, the kind where you can not even caught your breath and can let down your defenses and let yourself go.
This page is for s_xism. It is the opposite. Women should serve their man in marriage, just like men should serve their woman. Marriage is about giving your self up to love your other half.
Marriage is about being selfless for the other person. Love is about surrendering and humbling yourself to your beloved.
Both chauvinism and feminism are wrong because they put something else higher than the family.
Chauvinism and feminism are bad, love and marriage and family and self sacrifice and patience and kindness and compassion are good.
You are so pumped with nonsense from I do not know what book or program you watched on TV you are just rambling and making little sense, sorry, its true. Love is about surrender. Love is about compassion, not about femism. Even yoga teaches this.
I have a question for you. Don’t you want the man who you marry to be totally in love with you and selfless and you with him. Not just some business partnership with defined roles? Love is about you and the other person being two people in the world and really two people as one.
Does your left hand care your right hand does more? Your body functions as a whole. This is a family unit.
S_x is something that is special, not just for some boyfriend you have at the moment.
You may be thin but you have embraced American pop culture without even thinking about it. There is a big difference between woman’s lib and the real liberation of women. You do not see this do you?
Sorry Admin Mark, but I cannot condone or embarce anyting that Sophia has said, including veganism. Veganism is very unhealthy for the human body and if you don’t supplement your diet appropriately you will grow ill over the years.
And now for my critique on Sophia’s post, Sophia, not to be rude, but you claim to be so cordial, se_y and great. Well, as with most American women, you seem a bit self-absorbed and in love with yourself. It seems that you think the sun revolves around you, rather than you around the sun (i.e. the Earth that you live). As with most feminasis, you degrade and insult men who have different ideologies then what you believe is ideal.
If a man works 12 hours a day and is very tired when he comes home, why shouldn’t his wife cook him dinner every night? Most American men still earn most of the money and have to clean up and cook for themselves. Even many American men are forced to take their whining and ungrateful wives out to expensive restaurants to please their childish desires. They have no care that the man broke his back all day at the job and instead of cooking dinner for him to show her apprecation, they demand he takes them to a nice restaurant and forks out his hard earned cash for her.
Now, on another note. If a woman works a 12 hour job and the man is a house-husband or stays at home and doesn’t work, then I do agree the man ought to cook his wife dinner and be the domestic servant. If a man cannot be a man, then he shouldn’t expect the proper love and respect from a caring and loving wife.
Society today favors women, that is why an arrogant girl like you can go and boast and insult mankind for being the natural way men have been since the creation of the world. Youa re trying to reverse roles and force your twisted and adultered ideologies upon us, yet you’re apart of a failed social experiment that is waiting to self-destruct at any time.
You also claim your relationship is completely equal and that you each are the husband and wife, 50/50. Tell me Sophia, how long have you been in your relationship with this boyfriend? How many boyfriends have you had? How many men have you slept with? I bet its more than one. Oh yes, insult me, curse me and mock me for being the nosy b-stard that I am.
From my experience, most women who claim they have a 50/50 relationship usually have a 10/90 relationship in their favor. That is because women, by nature, have the tendency to want to horde all the authority that is conceivable and will use gender equality as a facade to their childish and dominating egos. I realy wonder how much power your boyfriend has in decision making. From my experience, in these so-called equality relationships, the boyfriend gets bullied or coerced through hostile notions by the dominating she-man girlfriend. These relations generally are short-lived and degrade. America has a 50%+ divorce rate.. Get ready for yours..
Sorry, my 2 cents.
As a woman I’ve gotton to a point in my life where I feel like every other woman is beautiful and I’m not. It’s sad to say but,
I tried to ” fix my self ” by searching google and looking for advice.
I was honestly scared to be in a serious relationship because I felt like all men would judge me wrongly. But after reading the article you’ve written I realized I’m just as good as they are and that every man has a different opinion.
Everyone looks different so I’m sure atleast one man loves me exactly the way I am.
You have given me hope and more self confidence than I’ve had.
Rachel I can tell you that every man does have a different opinion about what is beautiful. For example, some guys like big women others like tiny women. Some guys go crazy over girls with big noses and some like little pug noses. One of my friends like older women, like ten years older, another ten years younger. There are no rules. You should not be scared of guys, I think for most guys women are a mystery and it is our programming to be attracted to women no matter what they look like. Looks is not the problem in relationships, it is who the people are.
Trust me there is someone for everyone, even me.
I totally agree that women should be spiritual before intellectual. thats the only way they will be humble and submissive to their men. Women nowadays are arrogant and proud. they think they can live without men. Yet they feel unhappy and sad in the inside. Yes, they need spirituality to be transformed in the way they think. thats the only key. Im size 10 5’6 but im now going to the gym with a coach lifting weights arghh!
I do not need a man, nor do I seek romantic love. Everything I need is within me and God. I will never need anything a man has to offer. I do it all and I am happier than you can imagine–I assure you.
I believe you. However, also consider when you are 50, 60, 70 80 your life might be brighter if you have husband and a family to love. I agree you do not need another person to be happy, but you know it is a lot of fun when you have that person.
Oh I would love to have a man sweep me off my feet and then have him work while I stay at home and cook and tske care of the kids all the time. However, I dont think you men are able to comprehend how stupid that sounds. Slaving over a kitchen stove and taking care of children for the rest of our life does not make us happy. Even if thats how it was in the 1950’s. Once women were able work, once they were finally able to do what men do…and to see how rewarding that felt…there was no turning back. Women arent out getting careers to please society. Some are. But most do it for the sheer reason of feeling good. It makes us feel gross that we have to rely on a man to do everything. That doesnt mean we want the man to be a housewife, we just want equal partnership. Where both the man and women can have a successful career. I dont understand why its so wrong and so unattractive to want that.
When you have a little baby and it needs you, I think it would be very strange if you do not want to feed it take care of it etc. Look at nature and the animal kingdom, what mother does not want to nurture and love its family. Why on earth would you want to serve your feudal master, i.e. your boss at work instead of nurture your loving family?
Do not believe that women’s lib stuff, they confuse women’s liberation with the genuine liberation of women. If you do not understand that and see it as slaving to cook for your family who needs you, than I doubt you will have a man sweep you off your feet.
No way, women’s lib gave men the milk for free and they are not going to sweep any girls off their feet unless she is a real honest of good princess from a fairy-tale. That is a women of his dreams and this means humble enough to put family and husband over career.
I recommend guys understand that they should find a woman that does not hastle them and have a point to prove, rather there are scores of woman that would love to have a loving family and think like I do, careerism and corporate America when you place it even in the same breath as love and family.
Well, of course it’d be very strange to not take care of your baby, and abandon them for work. But that’s when you want children. Some married couples wait a few years before having kids. But before then, I don’t see a problem with them being equal and both having jobs. I feel a girl can still be beautiful, and be that “fairy tale” of a girl, while having a career. If a guy she likes is insecure about her making more money then him, then that’s his problem. There are lots of guys who find that girl who can work for themselves attractive.
About waiting to have children, I would not wait too long. You do not want to be having your first baby at 35. But if you do not meet the love of your life before than I understand. I would not delay having a child because of my boss (career).
Money and love never ever mix. Read my article on Women and money. It is not about a woman making more than a man, who cares about that. It is about having a loving wife someone who does not put anything first but her husband and kids.
Life is not about money. Life is not about career. Family is most important.
Maybe some guys are attracted to a woman who is a corporate dragon. But in my book a woman who puts career as one of the important things in her life is so unattractive.
Similarly I think men who are workaholics are not attractive to women.
Did you ever see the movie ‘Overboard’ with Kurt Russell? Now poor and happy is more attractive on a girl or a guy than rich and lost in false believe that career is something noble beside putting bread on the table.
How to be attractive? Put your family first, do not worry about money or what other people think and develop yourself as a spiritual person.
It actually seems pretty accurate except… super short hair is nice, in my experience the softness matters most, but the “submissive”… really? I don’t think any decent guy would like you less for being assertive or sassy and lots of men I know like that type…
Submissive is feminine. I have seen confirmed bachelors who come to Eastern Europe, guys that not in a million year would ever get married. Guys that in the USA have sworn off marriage and love.
In 6 months they meet the girl of their dreams and are devoted to her for the rest of his life, gaga in love. It is not the looks that make Eastern European women so irresistibly attractive (only). It is the women in Eastern Europe know one thing. Women do not need to be assertive or feminism to have power. Why? Because women have had the power all along. They give up their most power when they try to be assertive and sassy. It is a paradox you either understand or do not. Men like humble, sweet submissive women. Men do not want to be hastled and bother with some abstract political ideological argument about women or how the man has to do this or that.
Men find a storybook princess attractive. Think of Cinderella.
I believe fair-tales tell us more than modern psychology.
Who did the prince fall in love with, her aggressive sisters or Cinderella the humble girl at home.
Did you not read Jane Austen’s persuasion?
Being Cinderella is attractive.
It actually seems pretty accurate, always, staying out of the sun and being healthy… except… super short hair is nice, and in my experience the softness matters most, but the “submissive”… really? I don’t think any decent guy would like you less for being assertive or sassy and lots of men I know like that type… and SKINNY? really? The waist to hip ratio matters I know, it’s biological, but no thin is not always attractive, and curvy or flat out corpulent is not always unattractive. Not at all. Only when it indicates unhealthy which it doesn’t always. I’m a thin American girl (I got my hair cut way too short by accident and I do regret that 🙁 ) and vegan too by the way.
I think guys fall for cinderella types. Jane Austen characters are attractive. Girls can be powerful intellectually. For example, look at this lady. World chess champ and beautiful. kosteniuk.com . Being cinderella does not mean weak it means being the woman that you are. Idealistic, sweet, strong and believing in love and goodness and not being afraid to admit you would love to be married and live happily ever after with your prince. Guys love intellectual curiosity and brainy girls. Guys love this. Guys love interesting girls, that have ideals, like you have. This is how to be attractive.
I know this is about how women can attract men. But do you think your method works for girls who are interested in other girls? I’m pretty girly, and I guess the submissive type that you talk about. But I only seem to attract men, and I would like to attract a girl. Would exuding feminine radiance work in attracting the same friendship, to me?
I have no idea about that, I am sorry. I think it depends on the type of girl you want to attract. I believe in Yin and Yang. If you are feminine you will attract masculine. However, if you in your core nature are not submissive or feminine do not try to be something you are not. I am just saying be aware of socialized behaviors influence on people vs their true nature. Generally women are feminine but society has socialized a lot of that out.
What is feminine is not wearing pink and high heels or anything like that, but is it is compassionate, supportive, spiritual (women are the responsible for transmitting language and culture to the next generation) and life giving.
I havn’t really given into societies need for changing and modling women into being more masculine. However, being andrgyness can be quite attractive sometimes. I would say that I’m very feminine. And I do attract either men or mascualine women. Which I dislike. Its a complete bummer, because most femme girls like to be approached. And so I feel if I sit around and wait for the right one to come, nothing gets accomplished. I to like to be approaced cause I’m also a bit shy. But does this mean I’m going to have to be a bit more like a guy in order to get the girl I want?
For anyone to be attractive there is the spiritual side of developing yourself as an interesting, kind, loving person and the other side. The other side is make yourself attactive. Everyone is basically equally beautiful, it is all how you style and projet yourself. Where stylish, simple clothes, get into shape and try to meet people. I always thought traveling to other countries was the best.
First of all, thank you for saying that all hair colors (as long as they are natural) are beautiful. Many people say that blonds are much more attractive than brunettes and red heads. That is not true all hair colors are wonderful, now stop saying blonds are better, just because their hair is blond doesn’t mean they are beautiful!
However, you don’t have to be anorexic to be beautiful, that isn’t true… I bet every man on the planet would like a woman with some shapes, around size 10. There’s no big deal with being a bit round, ok? I am size 10 and I am married, have 3 children and my husband really loves me. Now stop saying you HAVE to be thin to be beautiful. I bet men would rather eat out with Scarlett Johanson than with a depressive skeleton.
To be attractive I agree, natural hair, not fake or fried hair. Further is does not matter blond or brunette or red head. However, what can I say, I am a guy and I think skinny or at least normal weight women are attractive. I even think curvy women are attractive. In fact, I would say that with all sincerity all women are beautiful, each one has a certain beauty.
However, I and most men are partial towards thin women (not all). You can be size 6 or 8 even but size 12 or 14 means unhealthy, slothful or lack of ascetic practices. That is unwillingness to deny yourself. I am sure a small percentage have medical issues and we are not talking about that.
Some people bring up extreme examples of girls with eating problems. This is not what I am at all of course.
I think both men and women are attracted to normal, healthy optimistic people, not extremes. I think to be normal it takes, humility and self control.
I think both genders are attracted to cultured and intelligent people, who develop their minds and souls and maintain a healthy balance with their body.
If your husband loves you, that is all that matters. If you have had three children that is a very honorable. Peace and love.
It’s a bit of a stretch assuming that all men want submissive women because being submissive is a feminine trait. You have to understand that a characteristic like that isn’t biological as much as it is cultural. Being submissive isn’t like having breasts or other female reproductive organs. It’s something that you learn. Being selfless, or as you say “submissive,” is something men do often as well.
Not to mention that some men do, in fact, prefer dominant women.
Also you stress quite a bit in your post that a woman should be thin if she wants to be attractive. I’m not entirely sure why the thin ideal is emphasized everywhere, but to me, a person who’s attractive is a person you might like to have a long and productive life with, not a piece of flesh. If a person is thoughtful, happy, and healthy they’re top stuff.
Regarding your reply to Sophia, I don’t think feminism is wrong when it promotes equality among the friendshipes. How can you be selfless to something you consider below you?
Thank you for expressing your opinions and trying to help women find happiness. 🙂
@Yonatan Women shouldn’t be educated on how to be better women. They should only have to be themselves. However, I agree that some of them need to learn that today’s men should not have to make up for the mistreatment of women before. Extreme materialistics are silly in thinking like that.
Population crisis? You mean OVERpopulation, right?
I don’t know what you mean by the natural spirit of the woman. For thousands of years the natural spirit of the woman was determined by man. Our only differences lie in biology, not in attitude. Women are not doing what they do now to impress their friends and family. They just have the freedom that they didn’t have before to express themselves and have aspirations.
This freedom’s not going to stop me from giving everything I have to the person I love and it shouldn’t stop you. Money shouldn’t be an issue in the first place, and especially not if the “she-man” works.
Society doesn’t favor women or men now, it hates all of us.
Men want women who are not trouble and hassle and nag them or try to dominate them or excessively argumentative. What is so wrong with that? But I think the same argument could be made for women, they want a man who does not try to control them or judge them, but accepts them. None of these characteristics are attractive for the opposite friendship. What is attractive in both genders is humility. Humility is attractive.
Who cares about some movie star with a big chest if she is not humble. Attractive, unless you are a teenager, is largely connected with character. And what is a beautiful character? Someone who sees all the pain and sorrow they have caused others out of their own fears and selfishness. Life is too hard not to live a life of kindness and compassion.
So for me in my life, I choose a mate who was humble and kind. I recommend other men find women who humble or even submissive as you call it, so their lives can be filled with joy like mine is.
I would even add that any man who does not choose a humble girl as a wife runs the risk of swindling himself out of his own life and happiness.
Hi, I have a question about a couple of things you said. You say stay out of the sun, but walk everywhere. If you walk everywhere, how can the sun be avoided? Do you mean, like, don’t hang out in the cordial sun all day without sunscreen? Just curious.
I wear a big hat and sunscreen. I also walk in the morning and the evening when the sun is not as direct. But if you have a cool hat most of this can be mitigated.
I have to disagree with “If you’re corpulent, all bets are off.” For the most part, yes, thin people look better (and are undoubtedly healthier). But if a woman is a size 16 and is beautiful and lively and confident and knows what she’s about, she’s 100% friendshipier than a thin girl who doesn’t know how to carry herself. Look up Nigella Lawson. She’s the farthest thing from thin, and she’s drop dead gorgeous.
Well Nigella Lawson is pretty.
Okay, despite what I said in the previous post, I do not agree with Sophia’s idea of a woman at all. I’m an American, and even I do not find a loud, boisterous, take-charge woman to be desirable. You should be a LADY, not trying to call all the scordials just because you feel you’re misunderstood or “lower” than men.
Nod. I think a lot of women try to prove something they do not need to and this distorts a woman’s power, charm and grace.
Exactly. To me, there’s nothing charming about a woman who needs to be seen. There’s nothing wrong with being submissive and blending in. If you find the right guy, you won’t be “blending in” to him. You’ll be his whole world. You know what I mean? So it’s not necessary for these women in my homeland to be so loud and arrogant (they call it confident, I call it arrogant).
ok, just wanted to complicate this races thing:
American women are this bad this way and that way, blah blah…
Ok I want to tell you about myself:
I am a Christian wananbe homemaker. The Christians and the Messianic Jew denomination has got it right right from the start of creation: man, provider and woman, homemaker. That is how it has been from time immemorial. Now if you look at the Eastern European countries’ women, what is the one dividing factor between them and the common American women? The European girls are…wait for it…CHRISTIAN. 🙂
So I do want to say that they are still UNcommon Amerian women who desire to be homemakers, and you know why they are uncommon? It is because they are Christian.
However, to be fair, just as they are still Christian conservative women in america they are materialistics in europe and elsewhere.
See, don’t concentrate on the nationalities–to find the woman you want find a CHRISTIAN woman–this will make a man happy, because Christian culture–when it can blossom has made the world happy because Christians are in tune with what God has made the world to be.
Says alyssa, age almost 17, and guess what? I am American.
Hah, hah! 🙂
I very much liked your article =) Particularly the points on natural beauty/health and kindness.
The only thing I did not exactly care for was the use of the word ‘skinny’ and would have preferred you had used ‘slim’ instead. To me skinny implies ribs and elbows, which I hope was not the reference as to what is attractive.
Maybe your right, words have different meanings to different people. Slender or slim or even proportional might be better. I was always called skinny when I was in school.
You start this out so well, I wish the entire thing was as great as “don’t use makeup” and “don’t worry about your hair”. I’m sure this is attractive to you, but that should be what this article is called: How to be attractive to the admin of this site. I was told the other day by my boyfriend that I should try short hair because he likes short hair and he thinks I might look good that way. Short hair is attractive to many men, just like long hair is also attractive to many men. My best friend has a long-term boyfriend and her hair is boy-cut — that is, even shorter than a bob. She also dyes it nearly monthly for years. Right now it is dark purple and her boyfriend loves it.
There is no way to be attractive to all guys. If you want a guy who values you for your submission to him and how stick-thin you are, then follow these directions. I want a man that values me for my intelligence, my personality, not my body. I’m a size 10, I’m not overweight. I’m well within the average weight bracket for women my age. I’m happy with my body and don’t worry about it. My boyfriend is just as happy with my body, if not more so than I am. Some men don’t even like girls unless they’re chubby, overweight enough to have plenty of curves so they don’t feel like they’re breaking their girlfriend.
There are parts of me that I love, and they don’t have to do with me being submissive, domestic, or any of those traits. I’m attractive to the kind of men I want to attract because I’m a member of Mensa, I love writing code on computers, I major in engineering at school, I’m open about my friendshipuality and have no problem sharing it with my significant other. Those are the parts of myself that I want men to love me for, not because I’m skinny.
If you are skinny or want to be skinny for yourself, or you worked hard for your figure and want men to appreciate it, sure you would want a man like the author of this article. But if you don’t want a man who wants you to have long hair, you’re not “unattractive” because you choose not to conform to this one man’s ideal woman.
But maybe if you’re lucky you’ll attract some of those coveted Eastern European men! There’s a reason why American women find British accents attractive but not Turkish. Just as in general you are not attracted to the “liberated” American women, we don’t try to be attractive to Eastern European men, because you’re equally as unattractive to us. Sorry for the reality check.
So how do we deprogram from what media and American pop culture has taught us? How can the American girls who want to be feminine, easy going and loving to their future husbands,do this in today’s society?
You guys he isnt saying anything wrong. If you read all his articles he actually says some very wise things. He believe in fairness and equal resepct but since the beginnng of time, men and women have specific roles to have a succesful marriage and family.
To the writer,
You have clearly described your perfect woman, but have not given a more generalized unbiased article about what men prefer; that type of article cannot exist. Everyone has a different type: some men love humble women, whereas some love a feisty woman who has strong convictions. Your article clearly outlines that men prefer women with different hair colors and noses, and in the comments it’s apparent that you are also aware that men prefer different body types. But, you seem to believe that men prefer one type of woman: a stepford wife. From what I’ve seen, my male friends, like females who are easy-going, but unique. They look for females who are attractive, but it is not always a thin girl; however, it is always a confident female who is not afraid to be herself because they want someone who is happy with herself and not solely eager to please them. Why? Simply, because that’s boring. And, if a man does want a stepford wife, then he is not looking for a life partner, he is looking for a lifelong caretaker.
Sincerely, Sam D.
Yes, I like the simple tips on beauty such as the honey mask (i’ve tried that and it works!)
I like going walking for 1hour at a time and this has helped in strength training and maintaining healthy weight, therefore i know walking is really good for anyone to stay in shape..
I also wanted to share a favourite Bible verse:
‘Be beautiful on the inside, inside your hearts with a lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God’ 1 Peter 3:4
🙂 let’s all cultivate inner beauty — as this can make anyone attractive!
I think strength training is one of the best things for girls. It will not give you big muscles like a guy. Guys pump iron in the gym for hour and have trouble putting on mass. If a girl does strength training it will only tone her up a bit. It will also give you more confidence and help you stop the war with your body. No longer will the purpose be to lose weight, but to have a balanced defined body.
I agree, anyone can cultivate beauty.
I disagree with the part about being skinny. I mean, you shouldn’t be overweight but some people are built bigger, have bigger bone structures, whatever. What do you do then, huh? I think women should be accepted for who they are. If they like to wear lots of makeup, and they are buit bigger they are a major political figure then that is who they are. And as someone else said, you described your perfect women. Some men like girls as you described while others like punk or gothic looks. It depends on the person. Good article otherwise but the part about being skinny really gets to me and not in a good way.
I like your post that is great, but tell me what if the guy has some misunderstanding about a girl in his mind and even he is not ready to listen any thing. How to attract a guy again? If you have answer.
You can try to clear up the misunderstanding in an honest straight way. Tell him or write him clearly what the misunderstanding was. If it was simply a matter of a misunderstanding of the mind then this is no problem. If it was a turn of heart on his part, I would say it is very hard to change this. You can try but often people turn away for a reason. Guy lament less over the loss of a love. Girls go back in their mind over and over what could have been.
The saddest words of tongue or pen are
It might have been.
I believe you also have to trust the life process. If this guy is not for you there is someone better. Every one of my friends that were in bad relationships found someone better.
Being a woman myself, I think that you can look,and act as you are.
I’ve seen couples these days in America and if i’m not thinking from both sides I look at them and think “Why would he/she marry her/him??”
But then, i’ll look at it again, and say “Its because they loved the other.” Fat, skinny as a stick, big nose, long nose, big cheeks, full lips, no eyebrows, glasses, contacts, hourglass shaped, straight figured, big chest, flat chest, muscles, or flab. It doesn’t matter, because all that matters is that you feel happy when you’re around that person.
Sometimes I feel like i’m not pretty enough, or i’m wearing the wrong things, but then i’ll remember that God made me how he felt I should be, and His judgement is never wrong. So I know that if I follow His plan for me, I’ll marry a man who He has meant for me.
Sexism is totally something you can’t ignore,but, woman vary, men vary, what’s expected isn’t always what’s the best. Author, please consider everyones words and opinions because everyone is not you, regardless of how you think of their taste in romance.
Hear, hear, I do not disagree with you at all. In fact, in Eastern Europe where I live I see many girls that look like run way models and they are with a whatever guy. Many guys scratch their head and say how can this be? Easy, beauty is only skin deep and maybe the person is sweet. I really like that about Eastern European women. They care about looks for themselves out of personal pride but do not care about the man. They just want a good man.
However, this guide is for women who want to up their attractiveness for others. I think we all want to be appealing. I am married and a father and I want to be attractive for my wife. There is nothing wrong with that.
Therefore, if someone wants to know who to be attractive, I wrote this little guide. I do think beauty and attractivness is more universal than you think and anyone can achieve it. They just need to know how.
Beauty is something that is created
I have been a life long swimmer for example. I can not believe the girls in the pool just look OK or nothing to look at. But when they come out of the locker room in stylish clothes with all that stuff girls do to make heads turn, I was like, are these the same girls? They are, because creating beauty is creating an illusion. There is nothing wrong with this as it helps us attract our mates.
I have stumbled upon your blog entirely by accident,from the very first sentence I read I was drawn to read more. I agree with what others say, you are a very good writer, you write with sense and wit. It is unusual to find someone so good that you cant stop reading their work hahaha : )
Thank you for your advice, you say many wise things…Its a bit creepy actually, how all you say I agree with, or can observe to be true.
Wish you lots of health and joy. God bless you : )
I have to agree with sofia in that this article makes me sick.
I used to be a size 2, now I’m a size 9, unfortunately. I don’t believe that makes me unattractive. These “submissive princesses” you’re writing about, that are ideally between sizes 6-8 will one day grow old, and gravity will take over, and their breasts will sag. They will get corpulentter, possibly even to a size 10 and above! It’s called menopause, buddy. So your perfect, little, submissive princess, will not always be a gorgeous, articulate, cooking goddess, and will one day be dealing with this course of nature, because that’s what happens when they reach a certain age! But when your wife gets to be that age, I’m sure you’ll be off, hunting for another little neurotic princess, because you’re that shallow.
But the main reason why I am writing this is to tell you that it should be no concern of your’s if a woman’s main priority in life is to get a career. That’s what I’m doing with my life. It’s so we can educate ourselves, and protect ourselves down the road from assholes like you.
We don’t have to go to Europe to find out that men are bags. And women can be materialistics if they want to. A woman doesn’t have to change herself to get a man. And if that man wants her to, than he should consider ending it all. (Which is what you should do, because you and your pals set society back about 100 years or more.)
In theory a man can marry a full-sized BBW career strong-willed aggressive career woman and be happy. Different marriages for different people. I mean imagine a full-sized Hillary Clinton, or Janet Reno or Janet Napolitano, I am sure guys would be attracted to that style. I am personally not. They do not lack physically beautiful, rather I personally feel their world view is most likely not harmonious with my conception of marriage. And therefore, they are not attractive for me.
Love see with the heart and not with the eyes. It is what a person is exuding not their dress size. However, I have noticed that women that give up on being slim and beautiful for their man ususally have a problem with being in balance, and are a bit jadded.
I have met many career women in my life and less than 1% are attractive for me, but I think it has to do with Western culture that tries to de-feminize women. They are tainted with a little too much anger or something to prove and this I do not find appealing.
Look at Ukrainian Prime Minister Julia Tymoshenko, she is beautiful. She is smart, ambiguous and yet can maintain her female side.
Look at the women from the wonderful organization Femen. They are smart and creative women but also stunning in terms of looks.
I live in Eastern Europe and women here no matter their age or education, girls here do not lose touch with their feminine side. In fact the cordialtest girls here have Master’s degrees, PhDs and are Doctors.
Look at all the women world chess champions, their IQs are through the roof, yet some of them are professional models and are married and many want to have a family if they do not already.
You can be a smart, ambiguous woman but still look beautiful and be cool and thin. This includes being married and taking care of your children like the girls in Eastern Europe do.
I recommend guys who are not married find a peaceful wife who will bring harmony not conflict into their lives, with an axe to grind or something to prove. If they can not find it with the girl next door, look around the world. Most girls in the world from Asia, to South America or Africa to Eastern Europe want nothing more than to make a man happy.
I as a man want nothing more than to make my wife happy. Love makes the world go around, not career nor money nor education. Love and marriage and family is what life is about.
Wow, Jill P, women like you are absolutely pathetic, and you make me sick to my stomach. All you know how to do is blame men for EVERYTHING, and yet you don’t know how to accept some of the responsibility yourself. You have clearly demonstrated how evil and ignorant materialistics can be with your line of thinking in all of those comments. You really need to grow up.
“But when your wife gets to be that age, I’m sure you’ll be off, hunting for another little neurotic princess, because you’re that shallow.
But the main reason why I am writing this is to tell you that it should be no concern of your’s if a woman’s main priority in life is to get a career. That’s what I’m doing with my life. It’s so we can educate ourselves, and protect ourselves down the road from assholes like you.”
Protect yourselves? Don’t you mean drowning in the fallacies of women’s studies courses? They teach you LIES about men, and yet you believe it. If your priority in life is to chase a career instead of a family, then go right ahead. Be warned though, when you are older and alone, you WILL regret that decision. You will reap what you have sowed.
Now, I’m a girl, and half of what you described would be someone I would want to (do bad things to you (violent words edited by admin)). Women can have careers and still be mothers and wives. I know. My own mother did it and she is an amazing mom. She raised me, worked, spent time with my dad, and at one point battled breast cancer. And also, you don’t have to be cultured to be appealing. I don’t know what it is with Europeans wanting people to be so cultured. Also, you don’t have to be super thin. Super thin women are disgusting. And long hair can get in the way and could take forever to do something with. Your description of how to he attractive is so full of, pardon my language, bull. I’m sorry, but it is. Most women I know would agree, and a lot of them are attractive.
What is attractive in both friendshipes is someone who is peaceful, positive and cultured and intellgent. Someone who is fit and toned. They do not have to be a body builder or boney, but toned up. What is so wrong with that?
Why is being a corporate slave the summum bonum for American women?
What is attractive for marriage is someone who is committed to the relationship more than their job or carreer and proof of that is where they spend their time. I am sorry, but I think as long as the parents are not in poverty, one should stay at home while the kids are young and maybe even beyond. It is the most important thing you can do is to love your family.
What more important job is there? Serving and submitting to your boss in your carreer or raising your child with love and acceptance?
I am a dude. I dropped my carreer and will not go back unless I have to. I am not the richest guy in the world but I get to be with my family. A woman, a mother, should choose family over serving her boss. For me that is attractive. American girls have bought the materialistic idea that serving and being submissive to your boss is better than educating your kids about values, languages, music etc.
First about your comment, I had edited your violent words of aggression and swears. I would not write violent things like you wrote towards me, nor would I swear. So your mother could not have done such a good job with you.
Second, I think mothers can have careers. I think for sure they can. However, they usually do it for money or ego. Both base reasons. Money or ego is no substitute for spending time with your family. I would rather live in a shack and be a good parent and teach my child not to swear or use violent words of aggression like you did.
And what does breast cancer have to do with the argument about staying with the family or chasing money?I am sincerely sorry your mom had to go though that. And I know you are proud of her, but you throw that in there to gain sympathy for your argument but it does not directly relate to the topic. I have had severe health problems, but that does not related to loving your children and maximizing time with them.
A cultured life is important. How many languages do you speak? How many countries have your visited? How many musical instruments do you play? Again I think maybe your mother did not teach you to play chess or encourage good in you except to go to school and get a job? Maybe I am wrong.
Are you out of shape also and now trying to rationalize it? Maybe if you were not taught to balance yourself. Are you married with a family of your own? I doubt it also. So maybe growing your hair long, getting in shape and learning a few languages is not a bad idea. Developing your mind and soul and not writing violent things which I deleted.
A brainy cultured girl is the most attractive when combine with a peaceful soul. This is what is attractive in girls. This is what is beautiful.
I think a great injustice was done with your parenting.
Do not insult my mother. She did a good job and raised me in a stable home with my father. She has her career, yet she hates spending too much time there away from her family. I added the part about breast cancer, not for sympathy, but to add in a point. She spent time with family, had her career, and fought that battle. That’s a hard thing to do. Obviously, you havent had a woman that youve been close to have to deal with that. Oh, an add in about the career point, my mother didnt do it for ego. She did it because she wanted a better life for herself. She grew up poor on a farm and didnt want that for her future children.
Now, I’m learning Spanish and know some French. Why am I doing this? So when I become a surgeon I can have a benefit. I want to have a family when i get older, and i dont plan on serving anyone. I plan on being a well educated mother and surgeon. I want to spend time with my kids, but i was to feel like I’m also contributing to the world, doing something with my life. Women arent on the earth to just spread their legs and have kids.
Also, I have yet to visit any other countries, but I want to travel. I want to go to England, France, Germany, Ireland, etc.
I also wanted to play musical instruments, but my father didnt let me because i had gotten in trouble, and wouldnt let me join the school band. But I did get a piano and have learned to play it. I am in honors classes in my high school and I wanted to go to a military school because they had a higher education.
Also, no, I’m not exactly ‘out of shape’ as you put it. I’m not stick skinny, but I’m an average weight. But some skinny women look disgusting, but others look beautiful.
Oh, and one more thing. I was raised to be an independent woman. I wasnt raised to rely on a man for my happiness. I was raised to speak my opinion when i think something is wrong and to be my own person. I dont obey others unless I must. I want a husband and kids, but I’m in no hurry. I think women should do what they have to to contribute to their family. I wouldnt want to stay home all day with my kids. When I have kids I want them to have a better life than i have. I want to be able to take them to places like Paris, Barcelona, Dublin, Madrid, Rome, Florence, Venis, and educate them about the world. I would need money for that. The reason I will have a career is to have money TO PROVIDE FOR MY KIDS. I dont want a job for self satisfaction, I want it to have money for a nice house and when i have kids. I want my children to go to college; Money is needed for that.
Oh, and I’ve tried telling my parents I want to be a babysitter so I know how to help with kids when i have my own. I love kids, I want kids, and a husband. Dont judge me when you dont know who i am or what my life is like. I’ve been raised to be my own person and not to be a pushover. I believe a relationship needs both a man and woman to contribute. I believe a woman can have a job, if she wants one, and she can still be their for her family.
If I may say again, when I have a family, I’ll be there for them. I know how to cook, clean, etc. When I have kids, I can teach them things, but I want to be able to help provide for them.
In my opinion, your opinion is slightly wrong, but maybe that’s what you desire a woman to be. Everyone has their own opinion of what a woman or man should be. But i think you have an old fashioned opinion. Again, my opinion.
Again, also, my mother raised me right, with the right values. She is an amazing and strong person, physically and emotionally. She is a wonderful woman. So unless you know her, do not ever criticize her parenting.
You said you wanted to beat me in the face and you use swears which I deleted. I do not consider violent threats like that and foul mouth from a lady a sign of good parenting. I am sorry.
If you have a point, we can talk about it, but do not start your statements with violence.
After that nothing can impress me.
You took what I said wrong. I said, a girl like that I would want to do that to. Not you. I’m sorry if it seemed like I wanted to hurt you. I didn’t write it like that, but it’s sometimes hard to understand people’s meaning through text.
Also, yes, sometimes I do use swear words. But I don’t do it just because i can. I use them when I get mad. But I didn’t mean any violence towards you. I was just saying if that girl was real and kept nagging me, per se.
Also, me swearing has nothing to do with my parents’ parenting. I mean, my parents swear sometimes, but I only use them because I get frustrated. I may not be some total polite young lady, but I’ve been raised. I don’t consider myself a classy lady at all. But I do try my hardest to be somewhat friendly. I’ve been raised as, how should i put it, a redneck(Not sure if you know the meaning since you are in Europe). I’m not the classicist person, but I don’t care. When I’m trying to find a guy, if he doesn’t want me for who I am, then I don’t want him. I’ll never change who i am for someone, especially not a guy. Again, I am no feminazi. I just believe that a marriage, or any commitment like that is an equal weight on each side. If I were to work all day, and my husband got home before me, I’d find it sweet if he made me dinner. If I got home before him, I would make dinner for him. I think it should be equal. I also don’t care if I were to make more money that my husband, and I don’t think he should care either. It’s a partnership. If you have a joint checking account, and kids, the money is all going towards the same things: Kids, bills, repairs around the house, etc.
Again, I didn’t mean any hurt towards you. I meant it as an example towards a fictional girl.
Ok peace and love and I am sorry if I got upset. I am sensitive to things like that as I am very peaceful and I see rough people everwhere, I live in a city and do not like it.
I think because of the US economy stinks now, both parents working is the model. If your mom was able to juggle a career and a marriage and children than hats off to her.
However, if I had a choice, I would stay at home with my child. And I do make that choice personally and I think my daugher loves to have her daddy home instead of being a corporate warrior. I could do that and I did. I think Americans need to rethink what is more important in their life time or money.
I do not subscribe to a hyperconsumptive mentality at the expense of less time with my family. I am not better than anyone for sure. However, working is corporate America is really not the optimal soltion for life. I understand people have to pay the bills but work to live not live to work,
No disrespect towards your mother at all. Everyone tries the best they can in life. However, I was not impressed by your use of violent words. A lady would not swear either.
I know you were upset about the point as it is emotionally charge, just try to be a little more cavalier as it taints my image of you as a short hair angry swearing american materialistic who will use aggression if need me.
I am sure you are not like that but what I had to delete showed evidence to the contrary.
I am very sorry if you took it this way. I mean this sincerely. I am sure your parents are good people. Accept my apology and lets start off on a better foot.
I think you might be young and passionate about the world, which is a good thing. And maybe you did not mean to say those things about me.
I think you are doing good things in your life. I understand parents growing up poor. Mine did and there tends to be an over emphasis on career. Very bad and toxic. Better is just live you r life and focus on love and relationships.
My wife is a farmer and not in the USA but poor Poland. Her family was really poor, unlike American poor. But she does not care about anything but the family.
Being on a farm is a great place to grow up. It is a dream for many.
People choose to be career people because of money. Not anything else, maybe ego. I would my father be a bum or some basic job but he had spent more time with me than having a career which as a child ment nothing to me.
Time with kids is the only things that matter in parent child relationships, not money.
Family is important to my mom, along with the rest of the women in my family who have careers. I just think it would be somewhat boring to stay home all day. And I think some women do get jobs just for money, but what about the ones who get jobs to help people? And there is nothing wrong with a mom getting a job so the family can have more money to provide for the kids. What if they’ll use that money for that college fund?
Now, I’m still a teenager. But I’m not young and naive. I know how some things work, how corrupt people can be, etc. My parents have taught me that. I’ve grown up knowing when I get older that I want a family and I want my kids to have more than I did. I want to be a surgeon, not for ego, but because I want to help others and be able to provide well for my kids. I know what I want to do. I also know I want to raise my family in a decent place in the country(like farm land, not like a country).
I also have no problem with farms. Most of my family grew up on farms. Heck, I live in the middle of almost no where and I find it peaceful, but I;m not growing up poor. I think farms are nice and a great place to learn how to do things yourself and learn about somethings about life.
Now, if I came off as some rude girl tramping all over the post, I’m sorry. But I’ve been raised to state my opinion. I’ve been taught to not be rude either, but sometimes I stick my foot in my mouth, and I apologize. I’m sure you have a happy life, and I’m sure that your wife is what you look for in a woman. But your article is kind of biased. You wrote what you want in a woman; yes, some other men might agree. But not all men want someone like that. Some men want a woman with a fiery personality who knows what she wants, but isnt overly pushy about it. Some men might want their woman to have a career, but at the end of the day call and be like, ‘Babe, I’ve missed you and the kids like crazy all day and I cant wait to get home.’ Now, I didnt mean to say that your opinion is all wrong, but it’s not right for everyone. Now, I’m not an expert, but if I had written an article like this, I wouldve explained things like you did, but also things like women with a fiery personality, etc. Something along the lines of, figure out what works for your body type, hair type, and personality. When someone reads this, they might think that’s what all men want. I’m not saying your wrong, but I’m not saying your right either.
And you’re right, some women look nice with short hair, some dont. I look nice with short hair. I’ve had people tell me I look nice with short hair. For me, long hair just is too poofy and too much hassle.
Now, again, I’m sorry if I was rude. I was just statign my opinion. I’m also sorry about my language and the one violent thing i said. But I dont believe I directed anything towards you personally. I just think that description is someone that I couldnt get along with, to phrase it more nicely. I’m not a super religious person; People like that irritate me. Yes, I believe there’s a God, but I dont go to church, or anything else like that, not to explain my life, just making a point. Now, I see nothing wrong with religion.
Now, I again, one last time, apologize for anything rude I’ve said, or if it didnt seem rude to me, what you deemed rude. I know I tend to act on impulse, so I’m sorry for being rude. I just read your post and the ‘submissive’ part just ticked me off. I just dont think women should be pushovers, although I’m not some feminazi.
Oh, also, I hate long hair. I used to have long hair. Now, I have shorter hair, right above my shoulders. It doesnt take as long to style, and I know guys who love my hair. So long hair isnt all guys choice.
Maybe you are like 21 and guys will like anyone that age. When you turn 26 things will be different. Some women look nice in short hair, but long is better.
I mean some guys look good with long hair and an earing, but don’t you perfer a guy with a nicer haircut?
Well the same goes for women, some girls look good in short hair but it is like a guy with a pony tail.
What are you rebelling against? What is so wrong with being beautiful and slim? Why do you have something to prove? I love being a woman and I am not going to take cues from society that goes against my nature to be a mother and a wife in every sense of the word.
Brittany, this is just an honest question. Why is it American girls like you always associate being submissive with slavery? Do you know what the definition is for heterofriendshipuality?
I never said they were the same thing. Not all American women believe that. Stop generalizing us. If you’re going to make that kind of statement, say ‘some American women’.
I believe submissive is something as in, you do what you’re supposed to do and dont fight against it, you just follow that. Personally, I do what I want to do, unless I must follow a certain thing. I was raised to be independent. I dont need a man to make my life complete, although I would like a man.
Oh, and ‘American girls like you’? You do not know me, therefore you have no right to say ‘American girls like you’. You dont know who I am, or what i’m like. When you do, then you make say that, but until then, you have no right to say ‘American girls like you’.
What is wrong with being submissive? Being submissive takes strength and patience and self-sacrifice.
The question is do you want to submit to your boss in a career so he gets a nice bonus and his wife can renovate her bathroom with the sweat of your brow? Or do you want to submit to the love of being with your family?
I’m not saying i would make my career my life. I want a career as a surgeon to help others, to save lives. Is there anything wrong with that? And I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being submissive, I’m saying that it’s not for me. I get irritated with people easily, and I do not have the patience. For example, and correct me if i’m wrong with this example, if I came home after performing a long surgery and being on my feet, and he asked me to make a sandwich for him, just because he didnt want to get up, I believe I’d tell him to get off his butt and make it himself. I know that to be submissive has to have patience, and I dont have that patience so that lifestyle just isnt for me.
“I just read your post and the ‘submissive’ part just ticked me off. I just dont think women should be pushovers, although I’m not some feminazi.”
Brittany, those were your words so don’t start the I don’t know you bogus. I was commenting and asking about that.
“I never said they were the same thing. Not all American women believe that. Stop generalizing us. If you’re going to make that kind of statement, say ‘some American women’.”
Okay, since you are really young, I guess I will need to teach you about when a man says something like ‘American women.’ When we say that, we mean the MAJORITY of American women. I can guarantee you that is what any man means what he uses it in that context. Yet it seems like every time an American woman reads that, then she just ASSUMES that we meant all, when that is simply not the case, so don’t take it personally. About the generalizing thing, you do know that the population of the United States is around 311 million? So if half of that number represents women, then what are we men going to do? Go out and interview each one of you? That would be impossible, therefore, we have no choice but to generalize on the scale of the majority.
Listen, maybe your experience with American women has been bad, but the women I know are decent people. Okay, no, we’re not submissive, but we are decent people.
And anyways, I didnt say you were talking about all. But if you dont mean all, just say ‘some’. If you add in the ‘some’, we are less likely to think you mean all of us. The way you word things can definitely impact how a woman responds.
I also never said that you had to go interview every one of us. But just because you might’ve met some bad American women, doesnt mean the rest of us dont deserve a chance. That’s why when the admin said to look at other women outside of America, I found it…I dont know, an insult. Just because some men mightve had bad experiences with some of us, doesnt mean we all act like that. Yes, sometimes I can be rude, loud, and aggressive. But that’s only when someone irritates me. Most other times I am very friendly. Just because a man may see us screaming at someone doesnt mean we are mean. It just means they may have caught us at a bad moment.
My experience with American women is not much different that any other man who have had to deal with them. There are too many problems. After years of dealing with the same old nonsense from women that claim they want one thing but then go for the opposite, those of us guys who are trying to be genuine must come to that point in our lives when we say “enough is enough.” It forces us into a type of exile. So when the admin tells us to check out women from other countries, then he is giving us hope that there may still be a chance of meeting that special someone. It guess it is natural for you to feel insulted by that but don’t be. It is just the reality of our culture and society, and nothing personal towards you.
When I hear things like not all American women are bad, then it raises one simple question in my mind. What is the ratio between the bad and the good? 80:20? 90:10? Can you answer this? In my experience, I have encountered a number of far too many ‘bad’ American women that I would even like to think about throughout various parts of the country. Not just me, but also other men that I have met or read about who have had similar experiences with American women. You know that saying “all the good ones are taken”? Well that rings so much truth to it, and I would like to add to it that “the few good ones that are left, most of us won’t have the opportunity to meet.” The women that you know may be decent people, and that is fine and all, but I wonder what kind of wives they would be. The definition of heterofriendshipuality is the exchange of female power for male love. When a woman submits her power to a worthy man, then that fuels his natural desire to be a responsible leader. In return, the man can give her male love in terms of affection and other things that she needs to fuel her own natural desire to be a woman. So if these women that you know are not ‘submissive,’ then what reason would a man have to give her male love in return? This is the reason why submissiveness in a woman is so important. It is very attractive to a man. If a man sees a women screaming at someone as you put it, then how many of these bad moments does she have on a regular basis? It raises too many questions in a man’s mind.
When I gave you the explanation about generalizing, I did it because this won’t be the first time you will encounter when a man uses those two words ‘American women’ in context across the web. Some of us may use the words ‘some’ or ‘most,’ however most of us probably will not but we will mean the same thing. I am only telling you this so you can use it for future reference when you encounter it again.
Brittany, text and phone texting and voice mail all are easy mediums of communications to get confused with. So no worries if you and Admin misunderstood. I have sent many a text sms and it been confused.
I guess I come from Russian and being cooking every meal and taking care a man when you are married to him is not seen as a submissive thing but normal. A woman’s role to make peace in the home and incuding taking care of housework and being a domestic girl is an honor.
I never said there was anything wrong with being submissive. I never said that. And maybe in other countries, it’s expected of women to be like that and it’s frowned upon to not be. But that’s not my personality. And there’s nothing wrong with cooking for a man or cleaning. But for once dont you want him to say, ‘Hey, you’re an amazing woman, let me do this for you for once.’ Also, I think ever since WWII, women have gotten more involved in industry. They had to then because men were away at war. After the war, I think women felt more free. Even now days, women still arent held as equals in the workplace. To me, if you wanna stay home all day and clean, and if you have kids take care of them, kudos to you. You have the patience for that. I dont. Americans may have different values, but that doesnt make us wrong. Some of us still value family over work.
Also, to the admin, kudos to you for being able to stay home. When I went to start school, my dad quit his job as a truck driver and became a bus driver so he would be home when i got home from school. He may not make a lot of money, but he was my bus driver, and knew i was getting to school safely and i had someone to watch me after school. Yes, I know my mom makes most of the money in our house, but so what? My dad’s check pays the bills and my mom’s helps with the extra stuff around the house. That’s what i mean by a partnership and cooperation.
Also, I dont mean to tramp all over this. I just gave my opinion and it’s led to a bunch of posts. I mean no disrespect to anyone who believes in submission, or whatever. That’s just not my belief.
Be a skinny and thin girl to be attractive.
Wear tight jeans and designer t-shirts.
Grow your hair long and do not color or perm it.
Natural perfumes and cosmetics only and lightly,let your skin breath and your pheromones work.
Do not eat prepared food.
Study languages and travel the world, make yourself interesting, this is attractive.
Do not be a corporate slave or worry about anything other than developing your mind and soul and finding your husband so you can have a family and stay with him and make him happy your whole life and never leave him. However, he must believe in love without limits like you and have saintly patience and humility also. Career women are so unattractive as are hopeless men who hang out with the guys. Be all or nothing with your love.
Be thin. I know I said this but if you want to look good be a skinny girl.
This is repulsive. How can you say business women should not exsist? Be thin. Do this do that. Who the hell are you to tell women what to do or how to act. Maybe you like lazy women who only want to stay home and cook for you. The rest of the world doesn’t
Be the opposite of my conception of beauty if you want. Go ahead knock yourself out, I invite you. That is if you want to be unattractive consider doing the following:
Cake makeup on, have a high percent body corpulent, chop your hair off, wear heavy perfume, dye and perm your hair, spend a lot of cash on your wardrobe and put it out there you are high maintenance.
Guys love the high maintenance look (right).
Get a permanent tatoo or two to prove that you are a non-conformist or hip and cool (like countless other girls do). Where flip flops and sweat pants to grocary store or crocs and socks. Guys love the I do not care one bit look also. (right).
Get pieced rings in odd places.
Do not learn to walk and talk like a lady, rather swear like a salior and burp like one too as we are all equal now.
Do not educate yourself about the world and languages and culture, be aggressive. Walk around like you know it all.
Why learn languages when English is the language of the Brahma? I mean make the whole world America right?
Every intellectual endeavour needs to be an ‘accomplishment or achievement’ on your resume right? So you can climb that corporate ladder to the sky.
Have girls night out a few times a month, so you and your friends boast your egos by getting hit on by guys at a club, even though you have a boyfriend or spouse already.
Talk about your past relationships while at the same time fill your past history with a series of white lies when you are sharing with your partner.
When you are 28 years old tell every guy in the world that you have all the time in the world to find a mate.
Lastly when you are married, do not ever consider being nice to your family by cooking them a meal. Putting your family and spouse first is a cardinal sin, as you are a businesswoman first and foremost.
Rather focus on glorifying your boss by serving him in the business world.
I am not telling you personally how to live, just my personal conception of what is attractive in a girl. I think you will find a lot of men might agree. So if you are a girl that is single and seeing love in her life, I wrote the article to give someone ideas.
I think every woman is beautiful, further, everyone has the ability to bring out her looks if she gets the right advice, which is often contrary to what girls tell each others. I thought I would write something from a guys perspective on beauty.
The hard part about finding your true love is that individualization of people’s psyche becomes complex after a certain age.
That being said, why not make it a little easier on your other half that is looking for you by trying to make yourself attractive? Why is that so wrong and repressive?
If you hate your natural hair color to the point that you can’t look in the mirror without getting depressed, then dye it, but choose a fairly natural tint that will match your skin tone. Use one color. Whatever you do, do not put two or three different colors in it. It looks ridiculous. I do not see why some girls want to have striped hair.
They are a symbol of bad taste, this is good enough of a reason to stay away from them. You might wear them in America and get away with it if they are not too colorful, but in Europe it’s a big no, no matter what they look like.
Orange tanning bed tan.
It’s ok to get a little darker on your vacation, but frying yourself at the tanning salon every week is a different story. I bet if those girls knew how scary they look in fluorescent light, they would drop that horrible habit in a heartbeat. Combine it with bleach blonde hair to accomplish a double fail.
Overdress and not impress.
If you want to get some guy’s attention, you can wear a short skirt, high heels or a deep v-neck shirt, but do not do all of the above. I don’t think I have to tell you what it makes you look like. Choose one and it will do its thing, I promise.
is cool, but if you use it don’t put any color around your eyes. And also, what is the deal with dark contours around the lips? It looks like an infection to me. I hope that never comes back in style, although you can still see it on the street sometimes.
Wearing things that are not appropriate at your age.
I don’t believe in 30-year olds wearing Minnie mouse t-shirts. It doesn’t make you look younger, just a little bit weird.
Tons of sweet, heavy perfume.
Have some respect for other people, don’t be the reason they get headaches and nausea. A lot of women seem to not know that there are day and evening scents. Would you wear an evening dress to a grocery store?
Tribal tattoo on your lower back.
Last but not least- a combination of white pants, gold belt and a bright color top.
Why don’t you keep it simple and look like a woman instead. Barbie look is a turn off, unless you are trying to get a boyfriend who wears tracksuits on daily basis (If you have been to Eastern Europe you know what I’m talking about).
Less is more, girls. Don’t spend too much time worrying about what you look like and you will look a hundred times better.
I liked everything you said. And I’d say im somewhat like your description above. But being the submissive girly girl that I am, I always attract bad guys. And I feel that it’s because of my extremely feminine nature, that I am attracting jerks that seem to think of me as a pushover. Maybe being submissive and feminine might not be a good thing?
I think there is no problem here. You are the ultimate dream of any guys, beautiful, attractive and submissive. The key here is to find a bad guy who is really a good guy. Someone who makes your heart skip a beat when you come into the room and yet, rescues you in every sense of the word. There are guys like this. I know them personally. They are masters at being the bad guy and they are attractive also, but in their heart of hearts they just want a girl like you to love and cherish. This combination is one of the happiest combinations of relationships.
A female who is submissive is a turn on for about 99.99% of the male population. I do not know why women do not understand their power is more yin and a different nature than a male. It is not about strong and weak it is about day and night.
It does not mean you are not strong. On the contrary it takes a strong person to be able to trust someone else and submit their own fears and ego.
Bad guys Vs. Chaotic good
The key is not let bad guys use you as this might give you a thrill for the moment the your ultimate destiny is to submit to someone who can honor you as a full person and in all dimension and treat you as an equal.
Replace the idea of the bad guy with the idea of something else equally thrilling but good. I mean this is what the movie Titanic was about. Think of Last of the Mohegans with Daniel day Lewis or Brad Pitt in Interview with a Vampire.
All of the above where bad in a thrilling make you weak in the knees way, but ultimately good.
True bad or darkness just leaves you empty and destroys your goodness. It is not attractive but ugly. Think of the book The Picture of Dorian Gray. Dorian retained his beauty on the outside but this soul was ugly and eventually we all become more like our inside.
These friendshipy bad guys years later are ugly and are consumed by their darkness. While I have seen good guys become very attractive in later years.
Use the power of your imagination to help reorient you towards good men
So next time you see a bad guy and want to just let them have their way with you, call up in your imagination what their true soul might really look like. The next time you see someone who is charming but has goodness in his heart try to see in your mind’s eye qualities about him that uplift you and take you to a level you could never experience with the bad guy. Imagine yourself with this good guy in some exotic place in Ancient Greece and you in white lose robs or laying on a table etc.
Use your imagination to help transform you.
Chaotic good guys can be more thrilling than bad guys, as good uplifts you and makes you beautiful while bad will make you ugly.
I would just like to ask,
1. What would you say about black women and the fact that they have nappy hair?
2. What would you say about facial symmetry and the fact that THAT is a signal that the woman or man has better health. Regardless of the passing on the genes part, wouldn’t a man want to be with a woman in which they know will live longer?
How long a person lives is determined more by the hip to waist ratio. Facial symmetry has little to do with it. Besides if asymmetry is an indication of brain malfunction in own part, the brain has a lot fo redundancy so even if one side is unsymmetrical it does not mean anything about intelligence or ability to survive.
They have removed large parts of people’s brains and people have had stoke leaving them disfigured and asymmetrical but it had little to no effect on life success. Therefore, I reject the symmetry argument. I have seem beautiful people who are asymmetrical, it makes them interesting.
However, if someone is overweight, they tend to have less energy and live shorter. This is why I take fitness seriously when it comes to attractiveness. Everything else on a person is not as important as if they are in condition or not. It does not mean they are bad people, however, it speaks a lot about mating and dating.
Overweight people can develop a score of health problem and with pregnancy they have more complications. They pass these health problems on to children and the bad eating habits. The childs often are overweight and have problems adapting to life and dating and relationships. So for passing your genes on, maybe a fit wife is better than a corpulent one. So men naturally gravitate toward women that look fit and healthy. It is a matter of choice for the girl to be fit or corpulent. It is rarely genetic, this is an urban myth.
The reality is I do not see the number of unfit people in Asia or Europe I see in America. Maybe it is something about the Walmart parking lot that it distorts my vision, but I would never see people look like that in Eastern Europe.
I mean I do not have a car, I bike everywhere, I go to yoga class, these are life choices. I see these huge women huffing and puffing when they are filling their cars with chips, why would I want to live like that? It makes feel sorry for them and want to help them.
Would you rather suffer for 90 minutes a day on your yoga mat or suffer for the next 90 years? That is the question. I always want to give up but I do not as I know where that leads.
When my wife comes home on her bike from Pilates class with a big smile this encourages be to go to yoga class the next day.
The person you marry will give you some of their habits. My recommendation is marry a girl with good habits, of hygiene and fitness and positive mental attitude and spiritual purpose.
A persons habits are at the root of their behavior. Since free will is a fact, we can all change our habits. We all have power over our lives. The question is who do you want to partner your life with, a person with bad unhealthy habits or someone with good habits that lead to beauty and attractiveness.
I have just your article with a big appetite. It is great and totally true. As I believe that a real man has a deep look into the women about how they look and feel about it, i am starting to re-create my body (and mind) from now on. Since I am 40 now, and have bad feelings about how i look, the only one who has the ability to change it. Your article makes me motivated about changing my style and thoughts in a positive way. Who knows it may change my desperate marriage in a good way. Thanks.
Why would you have bad feelings about the way you look? Life is too short to feel bad about yourself or beat yourself up for not being this or that. If you want to be in shape you can, but it takes time, do not stress about it. The main thing is give up the fight, give up the struggle. To be beautiful and attractive it does not have to be painful or a burden. It can be done with ease with most people.
The only thing that is hard for every human on the planet is to control their weight. In my opinion walking, yoga or riding your bike on the beach, something fun and no stress is the best way.
Even me, I need to shape up a bit after ten years in cold Eastern Europe eating heavy meals to survive I could lose a little bear hibernation corpulent. I moved to warm semi-tropical island and go surfing and do yoga and fun things and it is melting off.
My point is find fun things to do and you can shape up but your self esteem can not be tied to this. I am sure you are attractive. I just know it. It is all about style.
“The main thing is give up the fight, give up the struggle. To be beautiful and attractive it does not have to be painful or a burden.” Yes, indeed.
The only wrong thing that i have been doing myself is to fight to my nature and the life i live. I am an academician and working hours and hours by reading, searching and giving lectures. I am actually happy with myself but with age and after birth i got some weight, which still i could not lose. Even though i am a well-programmed one, i am failed to take some time for myself and i know it is not an excuse. By inspiring about one of your articles here, i am vey determined to give up to drive car, and walk everywhere first. Second, “doing something for fun” should be our motto even for priorities.
Thanks for kind words. Indeed, attractivenes is really about style.
In Italy there is an expression. Fat is half the beauty. I was reading a back issue in article in Psychology today that said men care more about the genetic shape of a woman and are more forgiving if she gains weight, if her initial foundation or frame is attractive. Something to consider.
On that note, I know many girls in your situation that do lose weight and are older than you and look great. Basically you need 10 calories for every lbs of body weight per day to maintain minus 300 to 400 a day and lose a few lbs a month if you exercises.
If I can do it, and my wife can do it so can you. Do not give up. I do cordial Bikram yoga and suffer. I go surfing at the beach. We rarely use our car and bike everywhere. It’s all fun. I have no time, but I find a way. Think of it this way, your brain/body works better on excerise and being this, see the research by Dr. Roy L. Walford.
I know you are a smart lady, even by your nick, but think how much fun it would be to look like Madeleine Stowe in the movie 12 Monkey’s – a cordial doctor academic who turned heads. Did you see the movie?
Yes, I saw the movie.
But, i only remember about this movie that it includes some amazing thesis about life such like “the movie never changes. it can’t change; but every time you see it, it seems different because you’re different.” 🙂
Thanks for kind words, May God save you and your lovely family.
You have to be skinny? You have to have short hair? Oh I could right pages about how wrong and judging you are, but you arent even worth my time.
You do not have to be skinny at all. It is all up to you. Really I do not care either way and there is someone in the world for everyone. Some of the nicest people I know are overweight. No judgements. However, if you are single and want to optimize your looks to attract a mate, being slim and fit is the way to go. What is so wrong with that? This is simply based on what people find attractive. I did not make the rules nor did I say it was fair.
It is one million years of evolution that guides mates towards healthy choices so they can take care of off spring. You can make crazy arguments that being overweight is healthy but this goes against every scientifc study we know. Obesity is a leading risk factor for premature aging and low energy, both of which are not conducive to reproduction.
You can certainly be husky and get a mate, but why not just get in shape, you will have more energy and self-esteem connected to reality, rather than simply positive self talk.
So please explain yourself.
Wow, I do not know how to thank you!And also I have so many other questions to ask you! All I can say is that a person knows truth when they hear it, and your words ring incandescently and have reverberated through my mind and answered the questions which have weighed heavily on my heart for too long.
I have been married for 2 years and was heart broken when my husband could not honestly tell me he preferred that I was skinny. I an American size 8 right now and he prefers a size zero. I was hurt because he lied about it to avoid an argument and I can tell he felt ashamed. W eventually worked it out and he was so happy to see that I was not angry but just wished he wouldn’t keep things secret from me.
The truth is I ALSO prefer myself skinny, and have recently been struggling with finding the right mindset so that I can lose the weight for myself and my husband, but the feelings of rejection have been hurting me for months and preventing me from getting into the mental state needed for success in any part of life.
However, reading your article, and hearing that truth from someone that can speak directly and can give advice ( my husband’s personality does not make it easy for him to be direct when communicating,) forced me to see the exact information I have been desperately looking for without the negative emotional feelings of rejection I get when I ask my lover. I think it is only natural to want your soul mate to prefer you more than anyone else in the world.
Thank you so much for this article and all of the others!
You say that some men like “small” and some like “big,” but yet you mention that a woman must be thin to be attractive, etc. In short, you talk in circles and a lot of what you say doesn’t make sense at all. No wonder so many women have low body confidence and media like this that promotes this warped idea of “beauty.”
I’ll point out in some ways, why your article is flawed.
Be a skinny and thin girl to be attractive.
This is stupid. Why? I’ve met a lot of men who like plump girls with meat on their bones. For example, Marilyn Monroe is a huge friendship symbol and she was not known for being “thin.”
Wear tight jeans and designer t-shirts.
Seriously? Out of all the stupidest things….what annoys me is that you mention “designer” t-shirts and then you deliberately say that you want a “humble” and “natural” girl who doesn’t spend much on beauty. Well, a natural girl wouldn’t spend all her money on a stupid “designer” t-shirt for $100.
Career women are so unattractive as are hopeless men who hang out with the guys. Be all or nothing with your love.
Insert *Career women are unattractive to guys who are weak minded and are intimidated by a woman’s status.
Be thin. I know I said this but if you want to look good be a skinny girl.
Refer to the above statement, I’m done with this.
Have faith and trust in God.
How does one’s religious beliefs have to do with anything? This last statement just reaffirmed what I mentioned above.