Marry a poor girl. I did and have no regrets. You marry a girl with no money your life will be easy and real (preferably from Eastern Europe, and not America). Here is my story and rational. The first, half of my childhood my family had no money. I played in the woods and streams and read books about history and philosophy.
The second half, well, I went to Avon Old Farms, a preppy all boys English boarding school in New England and was raised on a steady diet of Holden Caulfield, The Great Gatsby, the golf club lunches and trips for new clothes at Brooks Brothers. I was told I would be a banker. I was, until my first existential crisis of young adulthood.
Can you guess which part of my childhood I remember more dearly?
- Marriage is like childhood. You remember the sweet innocent moments and do not care for the ostentatious.
If you are single you know it is depressing. You are in a desert between these two wonderland. To get from one magical time in your life to the next, you have to go though the rite of passage called marriage. However, choose your mate well and that takes courage and wisdom.
Why do I know what I am taking about regarding love and money?
- I have a Masters in Economics from Trinity, very happily married, studied and researched the relationship between money and love.
The economics of finding the love of your life – hint – money and love are
slightly inversely correlated
My advice is think back on your own childhood and what your sweetest memories were. Were they connected to the interactions with others, like from the TV show the ‘Wonder Years’, or materialistic ambitions? My dating tip is try to replicate the core values of your childhood with your partner in marriage. Jettison any societal programming connected with things that are not real.
What is REAL? asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle? – The Velveteen Rabbit
- Poverty and economic hardship has a transformative effect on people. They have a greater ability to discern between what is real and unreal when it comes to life.
- In contrast, careersism and feminism are connected often not to the genuine liberation of women, but pride and material ambitions.
- When choosing a girl for marriage, try to see behind the cloak, if she is a lamb or a runs with the wolves (if you want peace and harmony choose the former).
She grew up on a farm in Poland. She did not care about material things as she was spiritually oriented.
I often seem to criticizes American women and suggest they are not the optimal choice for a lady friend. I am not saying this. It has nothing to do with America, but rather cultural trends which have seemed to poisoned the well. From the pool of American women to choose from, it has become harder to find one that has over ridden her cultural programming.
Al ot of my American girl friends have dropped a cool $30,000 dollars on a wedding, only to ‘leave the jerk’ a few years later. I have pondered what is going on in American culture, but knew that my destiny lay in a different path.
My message is do not let your judgement be mislead by flashy physical beauty.
All that glitters is not gold and all that is gold does not glitter – J.R.R. Tolkien
The reason people are poor or rich often has more to do with the circumstances of their birth. And I am a unrepentant capitalist. But if you read Adam Smith he would tend to agree.
In American culture there are two things which seem important:
- Producing self confidant girls – Self confidence seems to be the summum bonum of the American high school experience. That is, instil self-confidence into youth and they will make the right choices. I disagree. Self confidence has its place, but more important is humility, purity of thought, wisdom, intellectual curiosity, loyalty. Self confidence not tempered with wisdom can feed into ego and breed a generation of self-absorbed, know it alls who, will not humble themselves.
- Measures of success during the dating process – Titles, fraternities, accomplishments, degrees, house or car even height and clothes you wear. Lets be honest a lot of Americans are into this. Not all, but American girls care about money and economic standard when choosing a mate. In my experience, Eastern European girls do not. They want a spiritual, humble guy who will be there for them.
The spiritual poverty of the West exceeds the material lack of the East. – Mother Theresa
10 Pros of marrying a poor girl
- She will expect less and appreciate you more.
- You can give her your money and she will make sure your household lives under frugal conditions and you do not go into debt. When I shop, I spend, my wife makes our dollars last.
- The best things in life are free – use your imagination.
- Poor girls are often thin, as they do not have money to spend on food. My wife has always been below a size 8 and mostly a size 4. She did not have a lot of money to buy package convenient foods.
- Life has a different quality when you live in more rustic conditions. For example, when I had satellite TV and 200 stations, I watched few programs and rather, just channel, surfed. Now that I have a rabbit-ear antenna and broadcast TV and can not believe all the good shows that are on. Well this is not exactly the definition of rustic, but you get the point.
- Time goes by at a different pace when you have less money. When I was in Poland and in the hospital I shared my room with a man who lived during WWII. He said that a few years then seemed like ten years today. Life passes by so fast as everyone is busy and rushing and waiting for the next gadget.
- You feel like a prince who meets Cinderella.
- Less is more, with less money, you use your creativity to do with less.
- When you make money she will see you as a hero, you can donate the money to the needy and you will even be more her champion.
- Poor girls are cordial natural, think Ukrainian girls, hipster Portlandia women, rich girls tend to cake on make up and obsess about stylistic things that do not matter like what style handbag at Coaches.
When you make a woman your equal, you make her your superior – Aristotle.
I think this sounds a little chauvinist (which I am not) if you as me, but I think it was a warning to men and women that we each have our own roles to play in this stage of life.
Pros of marrying a career or rich girl
- You will have to learn to take a back seat in the decision-making process and your testosterone will decrease.
- You will lose your soul in the hyper consumptive patterns of life.
God loves common people, that is why here are so many – Abe Lincoln
Resources to help you with the sorting our the economics of poverty and dating
- poorgirleatswell.com – a website about a girl who has little money and yet lives well and applies her creativity towards positive thing, not base.
- sympatia.onet.pl and mamba.ru two dating sites in Eastern Europe I recommend for finding a lady friend from the village.
- Poor girls and poor guys – My advice about if you have money but want a unprosperous girl who will treat your well and give you plenty of bambinos and home cooked meals.
- Working girls – Hard work and frugality are virtues that you might want to consider in a mate, not title or money.
If you marry for money it is the hardest method of working for it.
If you have any questions comment and I can help you find the girl of your dreams.
11 thoughts on “Poor girls vs rich lady friends”
This is the greatest blog Ever in my opinion. Your site brings me joy, because it shows me that the “American Way” isn’t the only way. I’ve never been outside of the states, so ALL I have ever seen/met are unmoral, wild, materialistic, non-spiritual American women. Even the so called “artsy” or “hipster” girls are slightly contaminated with feminism and pride and 1/3 of them are overweight due to the American diet.
But your site opens me up to a world of women I never knew existed. Not some online foreign dating site, but a man who actually knows what he’s talking about from experience. I love your story and your advice. It all makes so much sense. Please continue to write as I will continue to read. Sincerely, Alan Collins
Thank you for your kind feedback.
Once you start dating women, you could go back to dating American women, but it just does not do it for you most likely. I met my wife in person not on the web but I have other friends who are married via online dating.
I think there are many nice American girls, but if I was an American guy, I would take Morpheus’ advice in the Matrix. That is no one can explain to you want the Matrix is, it is something you have to see for yourself.
And so step out of the Matrix and welcome to the real world of girls. Girls in foreign countries who dream of meeting you marrying you and are grateful that you are talking to them. They will cook, be gentle, not have any expections other than to love and be love. The forgeign girls I know will not talk back or cheat or have ‘girls night out’, they really love you with all their hearts.
By the way for people who think obesity is not an issue, consider the global impact it is having with hyper consumption of food in the USA is equal to another billion people in the world if you look at misallocation of resources and resource and energy consumption.
I guess I floated back over here again. I like this article. I feel its true for a lot of people. But I don’t know if its something here but, most of the people who say they are poor just have really bad money management skills and/or are over extending themselves financially. By buying things you don’t need etc. I know we all have our fun stuff to do but, it’s just all they buy then they worry how to pay the bills each month.
But, that’s here. Other than that I find this to be true. I love the part about Decisions making. She is always one step ahead of me. Like I ask something and bam already has all the searching done. Just great. I’m not married but you get the idea. I feel empowered to do more for her all the time. It’s not something I’ve gotten before. Usually you just have a girl complaining about all the things she wants but, what she doesn’t realize when she does that a guy says nope not happening now. I’ve never been asked to do one thing but I can’t help myself.
I think you website really got me to try this crazy idea. The saying “If it looks to good to be true it probably is,” would pass my mind. I figured why the heck not there is tons of people who say the same thing. There must be some truth to it. So I gave it a scordial. So far so good.
I’ve also heard about that energy impact. Crazy to think about it. I’ve noticed probably a good amount of people my age just getting heavier and heavier. I love skinny girls being a skinny guy myself. But, to find one, and then one with a good head on her shoulders is very hard. And a tall is nice add-on. Most people here are 5’4″ which me being 6’2″ is a bit odd to say the least. But, I’ve found more than what I could have ever asked for. I feel lucky.
I appreciate your comments. I do agree that money issues are really money management problems. A little about me. I have a Master’s in Economics from Trinity College, I worked on Wall Street but also spend a good part of my life in Eastern Europe. I have seen both sides of rich and poor and have had a life long interest in Economics and money in the abstract. I think I can agree with you, money problems are usually poor management skills rather than a real situation of poverty.
For a while I was traveling the world dating women from all over. I saw a huge variation in terms of culture with regards to what women expect money wise. American women are top of the food chain. I do not even know if they realize they are top of the food chain. They have high expectations with regards to material comfort. Not all but a lot of our culture is hyper consumptive.
In contrast, women who grew up with more modest means tempered by a spiritual belief in self-denial; well, I have never met a girl like that who even considered money, job or career a factor in a relationship. My wife grew up on a farm during communism where there was nothing but vinegar in the shop. She is catholic and takes it seriously.
In our relationship only love is what matters. Nothing else.
Let me tell any guy out there. This is a happy marriage. You do not feel the pressure to be anything but who you are and are loved for it. You can be an alterative guy working in a coffee shop or a banker. It does not matter it is always the love that feeds the relationship. She will not ever leave me nor I her.
It is a dream come true for both of us.
Date only girls who are poor plus have a belief in asceticism. I know asceticism or self-denial is not a friendshipy word, but believe me it is. Your girl will be fit, and not glued to a cell phone, but rather focused on higher ideals.
Have you ever looked at old hots of women in the past? A lot of them, if you could look behind the black and white hots and the styles, were cordial. Look at some of the hots of immigrant girls from the American 1920s and 1930s for example. They lived under rustic conditions but has a simple, pure beauty. You want to find a girl like this today.
You’re a well-educated man for sure.
I agree with all you say minus the religious aspect. But, I can understand where you are coming from. As an atheist I somehow have similar ideals, and am spiritual but in a no religious sense. I thoroughly enjoy always improving myself and learning new things.
Then again I’d say I grew up poor. Knowing what my parents did for us kids now. I know sometimes they made it seem like we were normal but in fact we never really were. But, parents try to do the best they can for their children. I also find all my extremely good friends, and ones I know I’ll have for a lifetime, have come from low-income families. So you may be on to something.
To go on more. I myself don’t really work a good job while I’m off going to school but, with some self-discipline I’m able to have enough to finish my college with no debt, and for me to take a European vacation shortly.
I totally have that not asking for anything thing going on. That’s what I get and it just makes me want to do so much. I once told my soon to be SO how grateful I am for just a little thing like that. It’s funny that something so simple can be so powerful. She once lived in a 6 by 6 meter room with her family.
I’ve had experiences here and I’m sure there are a few other people like that. But, I find the poor here just aren’t the same as across the pond. Here you get stuck and you have no hope. At least European countries have the incentive if you do good work you will have an education. Most people here tend to think they have no opportunity. Which is not true but that is whats feed to you if your poor. I even see it in my close friends and I tell them there is plenty of opportunity you just have to go get it.
Actually I have a picture of my Grandmother from around 1930’s depression era. Its one of the best pictures of her. She looked happy even though everyone was having tough times. It also describes most of the others pictures from the era I’ve seen.
Yes this is what I mean. Look at old pictures of people in the past. The people in those hots were cordial or at least beautiful. Clear and peaceful people, if you can look past the culturally determined styles and appearances.
I was at Elise island in NYC and the hots of the women there immigrating from Europe were nothing less than beautiful.
Faith comes from experience and something you have to feel in your bones. If you do not feel it I understand, just stay spiritual and moral and you never know where life leads you. The things in my past that were the most foreign and distant were often the things I later embrace closest to my heart.
Thanks I’ll keep doing what I’m doing. Who knows what the future may hold? I sure wouldn’t have expected to be where I am a year ago.
As a ” Irish American ” I agree whole heartedly. I am on disability so I am on a very tight budget and most American women like my looks but as soon as they find out about my finances they change there tune and walk away.
I was married for 20 years to a poor girl and we were content with what we had, it was the best 20 years in my life and then tragedy struck and she passed. And now all I seem to meet online are scammer’s and girls looking for sugardaddys.
Money distracts one from the deeper reality of this life. Anyone who is older remembers a time before cell phones and rampant materialism, like had a quality that can not be described. When I was in the hospital in Poland at my bedside was a man who had lived during WII and the occupation. He described life as so different than today, and how time passed slowly in a good way.
My grandmother born at the turn of the last century also described life as mysterious and rich and money was not the objective.
I would recommend a movie called The Bothersome Man. It is an Icelandic movie about a person who comes to a packaged food, compartmentalized reality. This movie illustrates better than almost anything, what I am talking about when I am asking people to run from any hint of a material girl.
Look at an Italian Renaissance painting and see how life looked like, almost surreal in a different sense. Of course these are abstract representations to convey a mood, but life really did have a different sense.
You want your life to be like this. You need to find a girl who feels the same, that rejects materialism and all its lies and then you will find happiness.
Thanks for your comment Mark and I agree whole heartedly with you. When I was born 50 years ago I was about the last generation to be born before cell phone’s and video games. America was a different place then, I remember a day praying in school was the norm and if a neighbor fell on hard times his friends and family were there to lend a helping hand.
But now days a person falls on hard times instead of people coming to help they instead stay away because of their love of materialism and I think this all started when they took God out of the schools and the moral decline of modern day society.
It saddens me because as a young lad I had a wonderful child hood, I would spend my 3 month summer vacation camping in the woods, hunting and fishing and never had a worry. My parents have been married now for the last 52 years and nowadays that’s really rare, but that’s what I want a life to share based on love and mutual respect not on my financial portfolio.
Oh i could just cry. i live in the wrong country. no wonder i haven’t found my life love and now 47. oh, did i mention i stopped looking several years ago? your wife looks like my cousin Joann, who is Polish 75% and the rest Italian, true natural beauty : ) – as well as being down to earth, funny, witty, and simple without being dull or dim, u catch my drift. but i guess if my Nana didn’t come to new york city from Ukraine, i would not be here? makes me so sad & frustrated how american women are viewed, but i very much see why, but it is sad for us who do not fit into that type & pattern. some women can be of high quality while also being of low maintenance. i will continue to pray on this.