Marry a bad girl

For love you want to find the bad girl who is good.   What does this mean?  You want someone imperfect, broken, twisted and seeking redemption.  I would prefer a female who is perverse and disproportional to a metaphorical perfect Pringle potato chip.  Why?

bad fiance
Archetype of a bad girl

What really is a dark side – The seven deadly sins – reconsidered

When we lose our devils we lose our angels – Carl Jung

It is the things that torture us and distort our vision and leave us grotesque (Sherwood Anderson) that make us interesting, rather than being Dead Souls (Gogol). Think of the introspective dark hero Lestat in the Interview with a Vampire series. You want a partner who is good in the moral sense at their core, but in the psychological sense, broken and striving for redemption.

It’s an awful truth that suffering can deepen us, give a greater lustre to our colours, a richer resonance to our words. – Anne Rice

  1. Lust – excessive, inordinate  or misdirected love including promiscuous fantasies. I would rather date a ‘working girl’ who really believes in God, than a hyper consumptive material girl with a career who goes to church on holidays or is Christian, Jew, Muslim or Hindu in name only. Even in the Bible, Jesus was hanging out with women of ill repute, over the hypocrites with public respect.  Someone who has strange and exotic fantasies is someone who has high libidinal energies. These energies can channelled into creative endeavours and or reproduction.
  2. Jealously – Women who say, ‘oh he is jealous’, and jealous people are to be avoid. False. People believe that have no sense of what jealously really is.  Jealously (I am talking romantic jealousy) is a strong desire to have and want something for yourself rooted in reproductive drives to protect your mating material.  I want someone who is jealous about me and I am about them. It means I care and they care.  I love them and our love will be passionate.  If we are all cool about things, where is the spice and fun?  If people’s blood is not red than what is the point of having a commitment?  People that are not jealous I question their real level of commitment, they are the ones that will swap you out for another with time.  Women in the USA think men (I am talking about psychologically normal guys) are stalkers or possessive or jealous until proven emasculated.  Give me a jealous woman any day of the week over who suppresses their instinctual drives to possess her mate.
  3. Anger – Women have moods based on hormonal swings (you don’t say). It just means their juices are flowing, and you as a man need to be aware of that and ride out the storms.  Give me a women who throws pots over some dried up old librarian type any night. A woman with conflicted emotion and slightly neurotic is exciting don’t you think, as long as she is tempered by religion and knows not to leave you.
  4.  Sloth –   Work smart not hard. Laziness is an evolutionary advantage as it makes people use their brain to find a better way in life.  If possible avoid an unimaginative office worker/career woman. Better is a girl who wants to homestead, be an entrepreneur or use their brain to find some creative way, to channel her energy. Therefore, she has more time to spend with you. Is that not what love is? That is, maximizing time with the one you love.  I do not mean women who do not clean. You need a fastidious woman, rather a woman who likes to enjoy her life and use her brain in a creative way. For example, I knew a woman at my last job, who puts crazy hours in at the office, and then goes on cruises and plays games of chance. This is such a boring life.
  5. Gluttony  – Fat women are unattractive. On the other hand,  a woman who does not lust for appetitive consumption is not fun either. I want a woman who can cook food better than any restaurant, because she like I believes you do not waste a meal. If a woman can cook and loves to eat, she will make a good mother for your children. The trick is to find a girl who loves to consume and stays skinny. This is usually someone who is active and eats organic food.  For example, I do not restrict myself, yet, only eat home cooked organic food and stay thin.
  6. Greed – I despise material women, women that care about money and think love and money go hand in hand. Any woman that brings money into the love equation is a scammer. I do not care if she is from Russia or Beacon Hill in Boston. Yet the greed I am talking about is a desire to make your life better through creative productive efforts. If you want a house and do not have money look into Cordwood masonry.  I want a woman who can decorate even if she has no money. There is always a way to better your life. You want a beautiful life. A greedy girl makes life nice as long as she is the author of her own gilded castle rather than wants you to make money so she can have unlimited shopping.
  7.  Pride – This is in my mind the only sin.  Pride or lack of humility is the one show stopper for personal relationships. If someone lacks humility than it is hard for them to progress spiritually. Paradise Lost explains this as the primary reason people alienate themselves from love.  Dante’s Purgatorio details how this character blocks us from authentic love. I agree.  Best is to walk away from a prideful girl, rather than be there when she falls.
  •  Instinctively you know bad girls are baby makers. A twisted woman is good for reproduction and practising a lot. Carnal by its nature is a forbidden rebellious act, ever since Adam and Eve. If we are in this exile on earth, you might as well be honest and find yourself a beauty to enjoy it with. That is the whole point of getting married, to have a family. She should be miss Goody Two-Shoes after you are married. Therefore, when I talk about marrying a bad girl, I am really talking about marrying someone whose juices are flowing. You want someone struggling with their life, rather than born into wholeness.

I’m at odds with everything and always have been. I have never belonged anywhere with anyone at any time. You sense my loneliness, my bitterness that I don’t deserve to be loved and yet I need love hungrily.  –  Anne Rice

Someone with enough vitality and life-force, even if chaotic at time, to be able to do this task, that is bring your life to the next level.

good relationship girl
Archetype of a good girl

American women falsely believe there are these cardinal criteria for a partner, and they are based on their understanding of psychological health. Wrong. I do not care if my partner is neurotic, OCD, ADD, depressed lonely or has fantasies that are bizarre.  Anima by her nature is an unconscious sensual contradiction.  As long as they are a peaceful good soul who humble themselves and lives a life of prayer, what do I care if they are incomplete and dark? In fact, if they are admittedly twisted this is slightly positive as at least they are honest.

I want someone with an insatiable lust for life and is honest that they feel the existential anxiety of living and seeking redemption. Because it is only in love we can be redeemed. Someone not seeking love’s grace, has no chance to be beautiful. – Mark Biernat

What you do not want in a wife

What behaviour pop culture deems as signature of the dark side or bad women is not. If women have this behaviour it does not mean they are dark, it means they are to be avoided because they have tendencies to be boring or have real moral issues that lead to ugliness.  They will bring you down and destroy your life.

What is not the dark side but just lack of brains or moral compass:

  1. smoking
  2. swearing
  3. cell phone addiction
  4. Facebook addiction
  5. man-made mind altering drinks or pills.
  6. slobs
  7. lack of intellectual curiosity
  8. lack of ability to make a lifelong commitment – this is a big one.
  9. lack of desire for kids or termination of a life before birth – this is a deal breaker.
  10. spends a lot or shopping at the mall.
  11. Tattoos – On hipster alternative people this can be accepted.
  12. does not cook and depends on packaged microwave food. – This person can be re-educated.
  13. talks or reminisces about her old flames – drop this girl like a bad habit
  14. career woman
  15. interest in Netflix type series on horror, criminal or Orange is the New Black type. Mindless shows that entice people into negative fantasies and distortions about real life.
  16. lack of faith – they need at least to be manifest actions congruent with an Unconscious God (Vickor Frankl).

Marry a rose with thorns that will fulfill your boyhood fantasies

When I was fourteen my childhood friend George and I would sit on a hill in Vermont in the evening and look at the stars and wonder who we would marry. What are future wives would look like.  I married that girl of my dreams.

If you want to want to know more about where to find such women and the steps to get you to the alter and live happily ever after, read my blog.  I only give you the truth. I do not sugar coat things . Subscribe to my blog, share this and and like this on Facebook and you will get more beautiful photos and relationship advice.

10 Replies to “Marry a bad girl”

  1. David Brunner says:

    There are men who are addicted to horrible women. I talk to them all the time. They are the types that insist on using these garbage poor Russian/Ukrainian dating sites. They line up in droves to pay these scam infested sites millions upon millions of dollars. Most of them do not even get a date. And the few that do, end up paying even more money.

    They are lucky they do not end up dead.

    But you can’t get through to them. They like the fantasy.

    1. Mark Biernat says:

      I appreciate the feedback on these dating sites. However, for me I do not know if I would use them as my only method of searching for my girl, only because they are fished out. You can use them to start but better might be to travel and live there for a while. I know we all have careers but I quit mine and choose love over money.
      If one uses any dating site in Russia or even match.com or POF, you have to use the power of discernment of the spirit to determine if any woman, American or Eastern European is for you. If you can not tell if a women is trying to scam you, than you are out of touch with your intuition and one million years of finely honed mating instinct.

      If a woman (American or Russian) is scamming me it is obvious.

      Marrying an American woman who lives next door and you have more than fifty percent chance of losing your money in divorce is riskier than, the lets say fourteen percent chance and Eastern European woman will divorce you.

      However, there is zero percent chance of if your intuitive radar is in in play.

      If you can not tell about a woman, I recommend developing a spiritual practice for a few hours a day until one has the sensitivity and power of discernment.

      If I were single I would go to Eastern Europe or travel the world (including even the Americas) until I found my wife, then go back to my career.
      One of my points in the article on marrying a bad woman is, what society thinks is bad is often good in the eyes of God and affairs of the heart, and what society thinks is good is often bad. Is this not what the Bible teaches?

      For example, the sweet looking girl next door who spends her free time at the mall or the over educated career women are not marriage material, even if society thinks them good. However, the poor girl from the village reading dreamy romantic highly risqué fiction deep down might be a better choice for a life partner.

      1. David Brunner says:

        I understand you. I know men who are independently wealthy who can do just that. They save up and move to another country and live there. They court women the way the men in that country do. That is fine if you can do that.

        I do not console those kinds of men. They do not need my help. I console men who were in the scam industry. They lost their hearts and a lot of money. Most of the men I know cannot afford to take off a month or two find a woman over there.

        Solution:

        Find a woman over there, who is trying to date a foreign man over here.

        That is the trick. And I want to explain myself. I don’t have any issue with what you advise. It is solid and it is sound. But a bit turn off to the some of the gentlemen who do not have the means.

        For the average good guy looking for a woman overseas, well, he has probably been in the scam industry and has gotten ripped off. He has absolutely no idea how to use honest services to find a woman.

        I recommend using honest sites. I have a list I publish. But it is easy enough to tell which sites are honest. Just stick with sites where you pay one single monthly fee.

        Now some men as you said, will still get scammed because they are not using their intuition to guide them. Slavic women are great, because they are either on or off, hot or cold. They do not play the maybe game. If a Slavic woman is interested in you, there is no doubt about it. You know she is attracted to you. If she is kind of laid back or seems disinterested, she is not for you. And you need to let her know that. Make sure she knows that you have other interests as well.

        But above all, never send money to a woman you have met online. Just resist all the lies about family members in the hospital, money for rent or bills. Proud Slavic women do not ask for money. If you are dating at an honest site, within a few weeks, you should have phone numbers, mailing addresses, Skype accounts, VK or Facebook. There should be no secrets. If there are, just move on.

        The reason why I think it is important to date the women who actually seeking foreigners is that, even if you fly over and meet a lady. Even if she decides to like or even love you. Even if she becomes committed to you, if moving overseas is not a priority to her, why should she marry you? Unless you are moving to her country.

        It is already going to be hard enough with language and cultural barriers. Getting her adjusted to a new country. It will be a pain working out logistics of visas, weddings, etc.

        Why add the considerable burden of a woman who now is faced with leaving the only life she has ever known. She has to leave her family, her friends, everything behind. That decision needs to be made by her long before she has met you.

        I think that is the most important factor in looking for a woman overseas. Unless you are moving other country.

        As for bad women versus good women. I am not really sure of what you mean. I guess perhaps society values dumb good looking women over women who are educated. But we can say that easily about men too.

        Otherwise, Trump would not be the Republican nominee for President.

        1. Mark Biernat says:

          Your dating advice is worthy and well taken and thank you for your opinion. Do not take offence if I respectfully disagree. Myself and all basically all my friends left their jobs and lived abroad to find their spouse. Its best because you can meet people face to face.

          However, I disagree about not being able to quite your job. I was in two professional jobs and I left them twice to go to Europe for an extended time with little money behind me. I was able to do it. The first time for fun, and the second time for love. Simple, put your things in storage, and break your lease or rent your condo.
          From there live where you want to live. I taught English and even sold things in the market to support myself abroad.

          If a person is so plugged into the matrix of corporate American and mortgages and payments, I would recommend they re-examine their life by reading a book called Mortgage Free by Rob Roy. If you read this book it would easier than me explaining the steps to self sufficiency.

          This American matrix lifestyle with the gate communities and high payments for everything is a joke. I legally opted out of Universal health care for ethical reasons. I grow my own food and fish. I make my own bread and to not have cable or watch TV. I basically live with little to no expenses.

          I am not some hippie either, rather a highly educated, investment banker at a high level.

          If someone can not take a year off from their job and search for love than I question if their level of expenses are under control and a trip abroad is a good lesson that will same you money in the long term. Come on we are talking single people not married with a family. The only exception is if someone has child support for example.

          I do not have savings behind me and I left my investment banking job a few months ago to write apps and do things with my family. You can not live in fear of money and bills, rather take charge of your life with a little bit of that American self reliance.

          The bottom line is it is your money or your life.

          What is more important money or love? Yes you can do it with Internet dating sites but if one can, I highly recommend trip abroad as their first option. This is your whole life and the life of your future kids you are talking about for hopefully many generations.

          If you are unsure do both.

          1. David Brunner says:

            Yep, we just have different approaches. By the way, I don’t speak in a vaccuum either. I am not married yet. But I have had more than a few relationships with women overseas. I have helped men to find love overseas. I have friends who have married women from Ukraine, Turkey, Greece, etc.

            So I don’t speak about this in hypothetical terms. I speak from an experience. I guess that is the same thing you were trying to tell me.

            But I think we are kind of different in one respect.

            I am not here to spread propaganda about lifestyles and life choices, etc. I am not really sure why you are taking the conversation there. I represent just plain ordinary everyday people.

            I don’t know why there is some need to limit this experience to a certain group of people. I know guys who are truck drivers. I know men who are farmers. One gentleman that I pulled out of the scam industry met a lady at an honest site, that I recommended. He is a farmer from Colorado. He could not afford to give up his life in the states and move to a foreign country. But he met a nice lady in Ukraine. He proposed to her a couple of months ago.

            I don’t see any thing wrong with that. I think his relationship has as much a chance for success as any other. I wish he and his lady well. As well as the my friend in the UK, he is very well off. And he married late last year to a beautiful young Ukrainian woman.

            But I do think it is wrong to discourage men who do not have the means or the opportunity to literally move to another country. Women are not trophies to be won. They are living breathing, intelligent beings who can make decisions all on their own.

            Some men have exceptional skills in courting or in persuasion. I am not one of those men, if you are then I must congratulate you. But most of the men I represent do not fit that description either. We are simply human beings yearning to find a person to spend to our lives with. And the women who are in my group, those who seek a man, have similar goals.

            The way you speak of women from other countries, just doesn’t reflect our experience. I am asked often about creating a site or a platform for people who simply seek an honest chance for love.

            I am beginning to seek the logic of doing so more and more. I think there are voices in the international dating scene that need to be heard, because I think the impression is totally wrong.

            This is not some exclusive dating scene. It is open and should be open for any and all who wish to try.

            Thanks.

            1. Mark Biernat says:

              Good reply as I do not have a corner on the market for dating advice. I am not against meeting women online. I know friends that have go married this way and I think will stay married.

              One of my points is to determine if a person is for you, you need to ascertain if there is similarity in world views that speak of a higher ideal. You can be physical opposites, and from different parts of the world, black and white, but if you both have an ideal that you live by and is the meaning of your life, then you will stay together.

              People can speak of God and being spiritual but this is not the same as ‘walking the walk’. You can only determine is someone is just talking or they are living the ideals they espouse by their actions. Actions are something to be experienced rather than told. Therefore, before marriage you need to spend time with each other in situations that would manifest this.

              The couples I know married over fifty years are like this. If there is no higher ideal than often people start to drift apart. Certainly secular people can have marriage that last a lifetime if they are secular humanists or ethical atheists, for example, however, the vast majority of people are just living their lives more concerned with economic and day to day issues. The risk you run, is people start to modify their lives based on feelings and currents of the day.

              The good news is Eastern European women have an ingrained morality of loyalty that exceeds what is typically found in an ‘average American woman’ so the chance that the relationship will last is greater than marrying an American girl, even if you just met her on the Internet.

              Therefore, if you meet a Russian girl on the Internet and do not spend time with her before marriage, you are still better off then marrying the plain Jane girl next door in America.

              However, this is your life. If you are talking about a forever marriage (rather than ‘as long as the love shall last’) and spending 24/7 with a girl forever; then, I still think selling the farm and quitting your job is the option I personally would and did take. Otherwise if you bring a woman over without this years of rapport in person, you are in essence betting the farm on her and might lose the farm anyway.

        2. Mark Biernat says:

          What I mean by bad girls for marriage is this. The pretty little good girl next door with the nice college degrees, career on track and shops at the brand name stores and your parents would love, is not who I personally would marry. The whole world can tell me this is a good girl. To me she is not. She might look good, and seem good, but for me that is someone is is potentially materialistic and at the very least boring. Materialism is a plague of our generation that cancels out love and marriage in the purist sense.

          I prefer an introspective and aware of the complex stratification of reality than some girls who seems nice. Someone who lives or potentially could live in a different way, even if rebellious at least they have some life in them. I would prefer a Russian Vamp to an American career woman that lives in a nice little town house.

          Analogously, I mean a perfect little girl next door in America is like packaged food in perfect little square, with shiny labels. It does not tell me anything about what is really on the inside. Further what affect consuming that packaged food will have on my life in the long term. In contrast, I prefer heirloom vegetable from Siberia even if the shapes the the vegetable are a little disproportional.

          When it comes to love, go for what you would want as part of your boyhood fantasy when you were a teenager rather than what you have been socialized into thinking what is good. Often our visions before socialization are purer than as we are as an adult. No guy would start out in adolescence dreaming about a perfect little career woman. I dreamed about a exotic rustic sensual woman who was pure of heart like a fairy-tale, even if society does not label her as good. Go for Ginger over Mary Ann. Go for someone who is lustful for life with a sense of risk and does not play by the rules but is faithful to God and spouse. This is my advice for finding a wife you will be happy with.

        3. Mark Biernat says:

          I also prefer women who do not want to go abroad at least initially. The reason is women who like their life as is, are more likely to be authentic about love I feel rather then looking for the whole package of moving abroad and finding a man. For example, I married my wife in Europe and intended to stay there. Years latter we revised out plans and are in the USA but go back and I would live in Europe again. It is always about the relationship rather than the place and situation. Its again love over everything else mentality. Love over convenience.

          That is why I prefer women who want to stay in their country and do not necessarily put themselves out there.

    2. In Odessa Ukraine. Privoz market. Novi Rinok, shops and kiosks and filled with beautiful single. Never married 35 to 45 year old girls who ‘played’ on these scammer dating websites never with the legitimate intention on dating and real marriage with love, they thought they would always be beautiful young girls who could have a continuous stream of foreign men taking them to restaurants and going shopping, using them only for today. Never understanding they would later be selling seeds at the market, getting back on topic please understand the girls that are too beautiful, dancer, yes as men we cannot help but be attracted to them. But understand they do not have the problem. It is us men that are attracted to them thinking the can actually be good Wives and Mothers, look in the mirror and understand you thinking this IS the problem, not them with their crazy emotions, love of money more than air and too many tattoos/implants/etc. What Mark said as usual is 100% correct, many, many of these attributes are wickedly super for a girl to have, and it makes for a not boring life, and who wants that?

      1. David Brunner says:

        And I never thought about what happens to these women after they leave the scam sites. Because they obviously cannot do this forever.

        The world is cold and cruel place. I advise everyone reading this messages to learn how to not make the world a worse place than it already is.

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