Dating advice for girls – 101 tips to get The relationship
I am not an expert on life, however, I am a guy and I can tell you from a man’s perspective how I see dating. The purpose of this post if to give non cliche dating tips for women from a guy who has lived a little.
What did I learn from living in Europe about dating? I learned that if girls want to be happily married it is easy. As an American living a reasonable part of my life in Europe I have observed ways European girls get guys to fall hopelessly in love with them. I have written these 101 dating tips for women for a serious purpose. If you ignore or disagree with even a few of these 101 dating advice points below, you putting yourself in jeopardy of swindling yourself out of your own life and getting the love you deserve.
I know few to none girls here, that have problem getting dates and getting married. On the other hand, I know scores of American and UK liberated women counterparts are in the 30s still hoping for that last chance guy. No guys wants to be any woman’s last chance guy.
Why is love in the West so hopeless and hard and broken homes are more common? Where is the disconnect? I do not mean any disrespect. I just want to guide for women on the dos and don’t s of dating so they have a better chance of having the love they deserve. You you do deserve love.
By the time you are in your 40s and your apartment is full of cats, you will wish you took my advice. Doing the single girl career thing is good when you are 24 but when you are 39 it gets old fast.
I wrote dating tips for men for the same reason. So I am no chauvinist, on the contrary, it is a sin to be.
Do not let life get weary, cold, and gray. No matter how good you feel about your career and life, you are nothing without your other half. No matter how much of the most expensive skin cream you apply to your face, you are losing your juice and you will not like a cute 25 year old. The rest of your life will be hard and mostly lonely. I write this to scare you a little. A call to action so you can examine your life and find the reason you do not have the love your deserve.
When all the joys and all the zest of youthful years have fled,
and you have lived long years in vain and found life’s garlands rue
do not regret that you did not leave the rest,
and found the love for you. (poem fragments inspired by Breaker Morant a 18th century romantic poet).
How to get the love you deserve
- Go for what you want. Do not date some hopeless guy because you do not believe in yourself or have self-esteem problems. Who you marry is the most important choice of your life and unlike job or career can not be switched. Believe in yourself and your power as a woman to be able to attract your mate. It is destiny, Karma, universal, DNA whatever you want to say, but you are a special person. No one in the whole world is like you. God does not make mistakes. There is someone who is your other half. Believe that God will guide you to this person. This is the most important dating advice for girls.
- Everything you the media tells you about relationships is wrong. Try to cancel out all those mixed signals and nonsense.
- What is life about? Love, marriage, children, family and God. Do not believe anything different. Life is about love and who you love and choose as your mate. You have the right for your dreams to come true. You owe it to yourself and them.
- If you do not have love in your life now ask God to guide you. Be prepared to make the sacrifices you need to have your pearl of great price. If you are 30 and do not have love, quit you job and move to another country. Listen to what the Bible teaches, do not be afraid to sell all your things to find love. What are you clinging to, your pottery barn made in China apartment things? Get radical and take control over your life. Move to Italy and find some cordialtie. George Clooney did and so can you. Ask God to guide you in dating and love. I met a NYC lawyer who gave it all up so she could be with a Tango dancer in South America. I asked her why? She said ‘come on Mark you know how it is in the USA with dating’ . That is all she had to say to me, it made perfect sense. Do the same. Play to win.
- As you drift to sleep try place your intention of a mate in a pink balloon and let it go and drift through the universe collecting energy.
- As you drift to sleep in your mind whisper ‘true love‘. Do this to ask the universe for for what you believe. Read books like ‘The power of the Subconscious mind’ or anything by Louise Hayes or ‘Creative visualization’.
- Look does matter. This is nature’s bait. Make yourself attractive. Here is my post on how to be attractive. Be so cordial that a guy can not resist you. Do this by being natural, not too much hair dye, or perfumes or makeup or expensive things. Look good from your body out. Eat natural food and workout and sweat. Wear tight jeans or a semi see though top. I can give you fashion advice if you like. Now I have mixed feelings, on one hand it is not good to be too provocative but on the other, it does get you noticed, if you have the right style.
- Believe in yourself. Without a reasonable belief in yourself you block energy for change. However, pride comes before the fall. European women are humble. American girls tend not too be. This is their biggest down fall when dating. It is a huge turn off and no one will take you seriously.
- Be domestic, cook. I like domestic girls. After all who will feed the kids? Do you think your hubby going to nurse the baby? Dream on. Start developing the qualities, and learn how to be a good wife. Many girls in Europe, cordial girls who are like models are straight and say, ‘I am domestic and like to stay at home and cook’.
- Who are your existential role models? Jane Austen characters, Anna Karenina, strive for old fashion role models more than Miley Cyrus. Be a damsel in distress. Guys love to rescue girls. It is better to be slightly neurotic and depressed and cordial than full of confidence and over weight and a career girl.
- Believe in true love.
- Do not change you man, change your man. What? Do not try to change your boyfriend, accept him 100% or get the guy you want. Relationships fail because girls do not accept their men. Just accept then or get a new one.
- 30 is your limit. If you are not married, reinvent your life. Move to another country go on a month-long yoga retreat and do the whole Zen thing. If you are over 30 you have statistically more chances of getting struck by lightening twice than getting married.
- Make yourself interesting. Learn a few languages, musical instruments, travel to exotic places. Guys want a classical girl, not a hipster. They want a girl who falls asleep at night with a pile of books by their bed.
- Here is a dating tip for women, forget your career, finding a man is your business.
- Let’s start with the premise that all girls are seeking the same guy. Well the same works for men. We all want a domestic girl who is slim and pleasant and classically educated and will be a great mother for our children. If you need a role model watch a few Cullen’s ABC videos. She is a super mom and a smart lady. This is a good start on how to be to attract a guy.
- Be a b_tch and mix honey and vinegar. One hand be patient with your boyfriend, on the other hand, ask the question, when are we getting married. Watch the movie ‘My cousin Vinny’ and see how Marisa Tomei got her guy.
- Ask your guy face to face, is there ever a reason you would cheat on me. Would you ever leave me under any reason?
- If you are in a relationship now, imagine this person with you in seven minutes, seven months, seven years. How do you feel?
- Is it OK to look? It is not OK to look.
- Do not waste any energy being angry or unforgiving. When you do not forgive someone only you lose, they drain your energy. So much time wasted being angry.
- If you are a shy girl my dating advice for you is that is good. Guys love introverted girls. The life of the party is fine for a one month girlfriend but for real respect, be reserved.
- Learn how to be a flirt. Even if you are in a relationship for many years this is good advice.
- If you are a computer geek you have a real advantage, guys love nerdy girls.
- Look online and off line. Look on the Internet for love if you do not have confidence. Look around the world. Consider a country you would love to live in. I know many people, including myself that did not fall in love with the girl next door.
- Be the change you want to see in the world, be the person you want to attract.
- I think places like church or Yoga class are great ways to meet guys. Traveling is another good way. Even put something on the Internet that says you are looking for a travel partner to save money or something. If you both have a commonality of interests where you want to go, it is a start.
- If you are with a guy for more than 3 years and you do not have a date for the wedding, more on.
- It does not matter about the past, only the future counts and what you do with the rest of your life. Yesterday is a canceled check. I often felt I wasted a lot of my life, but my brother Joe said, it does not matter. It is what you do with the rest of your life. He is right.
- Ask your guy if he believes in divorce, drinking, watching sports, etc. I personally would not marry someone who does, but that is me. You need to raise a family and keep the family unit together.
- I love eccentrics don’t you? Do not be afraid to be one. Be a strange girl if this is who you are.
- Drop your girlfriends. You do not need them except for an occasional tea. Girl night out is treading on a dangerous territory as the courtship process should be all about bonding.
- A relationship is like two clothes being sewn together. Everyday you are together it is like a stitch. Make your you two match. You do not want to sew pinstripes and plaid.
- Along the same lines birds of a feather flock together. The best marriages are those of two people who have the same views. This is why Christian dating works so well.
- Money has nothing to do with love. If you marry for money it is the hardest way to earn it. Love and money are two different ideas, like water and oil, they do not mix.
- Do not listen to family and friends if you are in true love. They will project their fears on you and it is part of the test to see if your love is real. Even in nature birds kick the little birds out of the nest to fly. All parents and friends will tell you, your mate is not good enough. Stand by your man.
- If a man’s mother did not do a good job of teaching the man independence and self sufficiency than move one. You want to be the mother of your own children not some one else’s boy. On the other hand never ever look down on your man. Many women say ‘oh he is such a child’ because he is not thinking like a woman. Know the difference.
- Never talk bad about your man to your friends. Girls love to do this, do not, either you love him talk to him or have the courage to leave.
- Guys like smart girls. If you like crosswords or Sudoku or computer games you are in.
- Girls like France and Italy, laying on the beach or in a tropical place, and sweet things while chatting with their friends for tea and shopping, reading fiction, travel, languages (especially English, Spanish and French), spirituality. In contrast guys like work and computers. Women need to try not to make a man a woman. Basically all psychology and psychology books are about trying to get a man to think like a woman. Some men are pretty broad minded and humanistic, but if your guy is not do not, try to change him into you. Either accept him or find a guy that you want.
- Remember a woman’s eyes dilate more seeing a baby than a man with no clothes. Women always love your man equal to your children but do not talk yourself out of having kids.
- If your relationship is not working do not think children will fix it.
- Do not smile at anyone unless you are married or on your way there. If you have, forgive yourself and move on. Your past does not matter, it is how you are. Do not grow up too fast, I do not know care what all your friends are doing. Have the courage of your convictions and you will get your prince. Kissing is one thing. You can kiss guys until you are blue in the face, but the other stuff is really for your husband. I know this is old fashion and again if you have already done this, do not worry. Just try to start focusing on your future and the man you will spend forever with.
- Girls are often naive, be aware of that, guys will tell you anything to get you to boom-boom. Be on your guide against this. Guys will lie to trick you and they will do it with such passion. Do not be foolish.
- Let the guy chase you. Run from him. Give him a challenge. Men are hunters. Let them catch you.
- Nature is the deepest program in terms of mating. Choose who you really want but also act and behave how you feel naturally. Try to listen tO your instincts, but tempter this with morals and values which is the wisdom transmitted though the ages.
- Know the most important job in the world is being a mother and wife, so the next generation can survive. There is nothing more important than giving a child a happy childhood. Forget your career and all that nonsense. I am a dude. I would do the same, in fact I kind of have. I found a way to be with my family 24 hours a day. But children need mothers. They need love and protection.
- I live in Eastern Europe where people have no water or bathrooms and it is -40 degrees and life is hard. Never, ever try to tell me life is hard in the USA or UK. Know it. Life is easy. So do not ever complain if you married a poor man. If he is good and honest that is all that matters.
- Lay down the law, that cheating, divorce and even looking is not accepted in your relationship. You are a women, use your power in positive ways.
- Take the moral high ground in every disagreement.
- Just because you stand for something does not mean you have to be a prude. Look at Femen.
- Guys will be attractive to girls no matter what. It is in our DNA. We can not help it. So do not panic or get too scared at these dating tips for girls.
- Do not burp, pass gas, spit, swear, have tattoos, drink to excess, smoke, anything that would give a guy a clue that you are not a lady.
- Do not talk about your past boyfriends. Love is either all or nothing. They did not exist or they are all a big mistake and ask forgiveness. Beg them. Do not worry if he is jealous, it means he loves you. Be jealous about him, it makes him feel better.
- I can count on my left hand the number of times a girl ever said she was sorry, until I met my wife. I with all sincerity apologizes to my wife and she does to me, almost everyday.
- Think about who you want to grow old with. You need to find someone who fits you like an old shoe.
- If you are an older woman, do not belittle yourself. There is always a guy for you. Age and love are two different ideas.
- Read the Velveteen rabbit on How toys become real.
- If you are not happy with someone, leave and do not waste their time.
- Be thin, being corpulent and sassy is not as attractive as a skinny girl.
- Being B_itch is OK in the right measure as long as it gets you to marriage. Remember your whole reason for dating is to catch a husband. It is your reason for living almost. Know it.
- Know most guys are sweethearts and really want love. All my friends have a good heart and treat women with respect. Guys are not the enemy. If you treat them bad, it will be bad Karma in your life. Treat guys nice and your prince will find you. Be a lady.
- Men will bend over backward for a sweet girl that wants to cook with pleasure. What is the big deal with this?
- A strong women is a women who is humble, patient, compassionate and understanding contrary to the women who call themselves strong which are usually just opinionated and self absorbed.
- If a man lacks humanistic qualities it is usually the woman’s fault. Let me explain, men that do not get boom-boom transmute their sensual drives into self development. In all cases men who lack romantic ideals and higher level functions got action too early in life so there was not need to strive to be something more. What is too early? Before 25 or marriage let say. If the milks for free why buy the cow or strive for a romantic ideal.
- Men are not impressed by a career woman. That is not to say they are not valuable for society in a productive sense, good for Gross National Product and competing with the Chinese and all, but is slightly a negative thing for romance.
- Men are impressed with a girl with brains. It is so unhigh to be with a non intellectual or intelligent girl. The easiest way to pump neurons is be an avid reader.
- Do not be difficult with things like the man should pay or not pay. Do not have such high expectations on trivial things like money or socially accepted patterns of behavior. Choose a man who has the light of God in themselves, not if he conforms to your notion of how a man should act.
- A man is not your one man entertainment show. If he is not spinning your world around it might be for two reasons, either you are giving him boom-boom before marriage or you have too high expectations on what a man should be. You could argue he is just boring, but I know few really boring people. Every man will naturally be your prince and make your heart skip a beat everyday of your life, unless you give him your honor before marriage or too soon before.
- Wedding days and how it looks like means nothing. Marry in a civil court, or with a priest in a church, God see all things and what your intentions are in your heart. Spend a fortune on the wedding or get married in front of a statue of Elvis in Vegas. Royal weddings break up years latter and often back yard barbecue weddings with a proverbial cigar ban wedding ban last a lifetime.
- Do not expect gifts during the dating phase. Expect sincerity and a willingness from your guy to be interested in your and ride out your emotional storms.
- Your parents love you like you will never know, but your relationship with them is toxic. Forget you parents and cling to your spouse. It is you and him against the world.
- No matter how ordinary your relationship becomes, have dates.
- Sit on a bench and read stories to each other.
- Try everything and regret nothing, DNA dating, speed dating, singles trips, smiling at a cute guy on the train, purposely drop a book in front of a cordial guy in line. Be a little bit desperate, if you do not have the love of your life.
- Spend money on vitamins more than beauty salons.
- Do not get fake anything on or in your body. The best looking girls are natural. I know many guys that love girls with big eyebrows or less than big chests. There is someone for everyone. Maybe the one exception is to remove a mole in the wrong place or something like that.
- Do not listen to too many experts on relationships. I think people like Dr. Joy Brown or other self proclaimed love experts have horrible advice at times. I would rather hear the words of someone who is in a happy relationship. I am not an expert but my relationship has been on cloud nine and seven heaven for seven years now.
- Whatever the trend is in fashion today, dare to be different.
- As a girl let the guy bend over backwards to get to go out with you. Make him wait for a date and only sometimes return his calls, until he says he loves you and means it. All is fair in love and war.
- Love does not alter which it finds.
- Stop being so judgmental, judge not and you will not be judged. To understand all is to forgive all.
- If you have cats remember many guys are highly allergic to cats. I have known a few guys who could not be around girls for this reason. So before you invest 15 years in a car try online dating or other things.
- If you still can not find someone, I have plenty of nice friends.
- Plato wrote there are three types of men, copper, silver and gold. Copper is a man who follows his appetites, silver honor and greatness, and gold who follows wisdom. Who are you? Which is your man? This is an important question and do not blow it off. Meditate on it.
- If you are in love and getting married do you pray together? If no, why not? This is the greatest power in the universe, greater than nuclear power or the 2007 Boston Red Sox. To deny your relationship this power is to live life in a hard way. It is natural to pray together like it is to talk. People will do boom-boom in all kind of strange positions and have not problem with this, but to pray together they feel funny. What is the deal? Pray is like air, share it.
- Watch the movie “First 50 dates” – the man should win your heart everyday because it is about love.
- What a man does for work means nothing. I have known many women marry rich lawyers who are now bankrupt, in debt, penniless. In contrast I have have known women marry hippies type guys working at coffee shops who had a million being entrepreneurs.
- Do not be a nag. Light and breezy is good, or slightly depressed and neurotic, but a nag scores no points.
- Wear good shoes and look at a man’s shoes. You can tell a lot by a man’s shoes, they tell you were he is going. I wear only athletic shoes as I am always on the move. If your guy has one pair of old shoes, question yourself why. These little things are tell tale signs, but not everything. Help him out with this, this is one thing you can change and are allowed to change in your man.
- Get your guy to a good hair dresser. I pay 3 dollars for my haircut or my wife cuts it. It does not have to be expensive but give your guy some style. It is much easier finding a geek with a style problem but a good heart and doing a Pygmalion, than flashy guy with no soul.
- Romantic love brings people together that never should be brought together. Choose your path wisely. Many movie stars break because they are attract to flash like a fish to a shiny fishing lure. Yes you have to find your mate attractive, but finding a cordial guy and trying to make the rest work is often a girls strategy for dating. My advice is find a cordial guy who has a heart and soul, there are many.
- Communication is the center of a relationship. If something is wrong, talk to your mate and do not dwell in self doubt.
- If you can not find a guy take a job where there are a lot of guys hitting on your like a waitress on the weekends. There are certain professions that make you a guy magnet and others that do nothing for your chances for happily ever after.
- Your whole goal as a women is to have a family. It is the same goal as men have. Watch the movie “Family man”. Watch it with your guy and see his reaction.
- Trust in the life process.
- Give up your high premium on being right. If you try to make yourself right you fall from love.
- Humility is the greatest virtue both genders admire. Read Thomas Kempis on Love.
- Read up on fairy-tales and live one – Every guy I know is looking not for a girl, not someone hip and cool, but a princess. If you want a prince you need to be a princess. This means create the dream for the guy. If you want to catch a guy, read up on some fairy-tales. Talk in the language of fairy-tales. Refer to him as your prince. This is what Eastern European women do. Make many sweet names as you can with his name. Be melodramatic. Be a princess.
- One of the biggest mistake girls make in dating is assuming that guys see the world the way guys do. Let me explain. Have you ever seen a woman who girls say is good-looking and for guys she not really anything special. This happens in every aspect in dating. Guys and girls want the same thing, mating. But they go about it in a different way. Understand that some of my advice for women is a bitter pill, but it is something that needs to be written.
- If a relationship fails or is not working it is always the man’s fault. He either has to turn a woman’s world upside down and win her heart everyday and be captain of the ship or step aside gracefully and not waste her time.
Please add to my dating tips for women – by leaving a comment and adding more. I need to develop this as a better resource for others.
When cares, remorse, regrets are rife –
Too late to live anew –
In the sad twilight of my life
you need someone for you.
I love this information. A big thing here in America (I don’t know how it is in Eastern Europe) is that women allow their husbands to go to strip clubs. I used to have a friend that told me her husband went to one at least once a month, spending tons of money on tipping these girls. My advice is: Find a guy who has no interest! Don’t think that marrying him and forbidding him from going is going to stop him. Find a guy who isn’t attracted to that type of girl. I think it’s sick that women here think it’s okay because it’s “just a guy thing”. If he’s worth something, he won’t be going to those places. Period.
Abbey you are a wise lady.
You are right on. I do not think it acceptable to go to such places at all. No married guy I know here does this. Better than finding a guy and the woman forbids him from such ‘guy behavior’ is find a guy who is interested in you and loves you and wants to spend his time with you rather than with other girls.
I am 100% guy and I am not going to such place because I am into my wife and love her.
I do not flirt with other girls and do nothing that would make my wife think anything than I am privileged to be with her.
Hi Mark,
As usual, very well written and insightful article. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I am a girl in my early 20s and I had a question and need your advice: You mentioned in #43 that a woman should only be intimate with her husband. However, as you know, with all due respect, in the U.S. so many women put out so soon that it has become an expectation men have of women. I have dated men who have expected me to put out only a few months into the relationship and when I refused, they broke up with me. They felt that if I loved them enough I would be willing to do it. However, these same men refused to discuss marriage. While tip #43 is true, it tends to put off a lot of men, at least here in the U.S. It has become part of the culture for women to give it up easily and the men expect it.
It is frustrating but it seems like if you don’t put out, the man will move on to someone who does.
Perhaps your response to this will be: you are not looking for the right men.
Unfortunately, I have dated educated, religious, and also very domestic men from a variety of backgrounds but they all seem to have this expectation. In addition, many men even threaten to leave the relationship if you don’t give them what they want, while some others actually coax women into being intimate with them with a false promise of marriage. I have seen this happen to many women who were left devastated, ashamed, and full of regret in the end.
While I would never give into these demands, I feel as long as I don’t, I have no chance of marrying. If they can’t buy the cow, they will go where the milk is free.
:'( Please advise.
I hear what you are saying. I do not have the answers. I wish I did. I think it is very hard to be a woman. Women have much more at stake than men. I know a number of single mothers that to be honest are just surviving life. I do not mean this economically, I mean generally. They are always tired and a little sad. While the father of the child is off running around somewhere.
I really wish only good on women as I know it is so hard to be one. When I take care of my daughter even for a day, I can not keep my eyes open at 7pm. I love my family, but I am saying that a woman needs a good man who loves her and is by her side always.
That is why I think the man has to prove himself during the relationship. My wife would not even date me for a long time. Maybe after a year I was starting to take walks with her and spending a lot of time with her. But even then she broke up with me scores of times. It is all part of the testing phase. By the time we got to “I do” she knew in her heart we were meant to be together and I would always be there for her.
No questions asked.
And I am a good husband and a good father (I hope).
But to get there was the hardest task of my life. Each us will have different experiences. Some people I know meet and in a month are married and happy to this day.
I think if a guy is serious he will mention or talk about family.
If he does not, chances are he is a serial dater.
It is important is you are aware that no matter what guys say, a lot of their brain is wired for boom-boom. We can not help it. If a guy talks about boom-boom more than family, it is a red flag.
And you are right. If a guy can not get boom-boom from one girl he will move on.
So I do not have the wisdom. Except use your judgment.
I think use your judgment and wisdom. If you have done this in the past no worries, peace and love no judgment. Jesus was about forgiveness 7X70. It is not about that. God is not sitting in the clouds looking watching us in the bedroom. God is about love and acceptance.
However, on a strictly humanistic level even if someone does not believe in an ultimate reality and meaning in this life, virtue is its own reward.
No judgment or have to-s or should-s. Should is one of the worst words there is. Should is like sh_t” sorry, they actually sound similar if you think about it.. There is no guilt or should-s. I have noticed that girls who are a little bit of a b_tch and have high standards get a little more respect in the long run.
So try to strip away religious guilt, and focus more on the positive nature of religion, that is love and acceptance. That being said what is your goal?
Your one and only so you can have a normal family and life.
It is about getting to your guy. It is about getting your prince. In your mind you have to have an idealistic vision of what he is like, not on a physical level, but on a romantic spiritual level.
Many people have ideas of a mate, like he must look like an Italian guy. My message is have ideas like he must think like a prince and forget about physical preconceived notions.
Me when I went to Poland I found that like 90% of the people were religious as opposed to Boston it was an up hill battle to find someone who lived their life by their faith.
I think a common girl strategy for dating is to find a cordial guy and try to make it work. My message is find an idealistic guy who is or you transform into cordial.
But if you are in your early 20s you have time. You have the time to choose the guy for you. If you read my dating tips for men, in my opinion the best mate for a woman is a guys that is a combination of two things:
1) High ideals, romantic visions and good morals
2) When you look at him, you think red bed. Your brain can not help it.
So you want a mate with the ideals of a knight but someone you can not help but think of something else.
The good news is every guy is attractive like every girl is attractive in their own way. So it really comes down to finding a guy that see the world just like you. I do not think opposites make good matches.
If it is not working in your own culture and area consider other parts of the world or country. I did.
Ask God to help you with this. God will but you have to have patience.
If you are into religion, try Christian dating. I hear very good things about that website.
If you are more a spiritual person try yoga class.
I think the bottom line is boom-boom is not as big a factor one way or the other. I wrote that so women are aware than men are serial daters and many have no interest in ever having a normal family life. I have many of guy friends that are like this and they are in their 40s and still going strong. They date a girl for a few years, are lovers and move on. Some day for like 7 or 10 years and then the girls time is up.
Maybe I am rambling and do not have pearls of wisdom, but,
I think the whole point of dating is to have eventually have a normal life. I am so happy I am married and no single.
I promise you, you will be married. Not even a question in my mind.
oops they meant “If they can’t milk THIS cow for free, they will find another that is.” Lol, you get the point, I’m sure.
Better dating tip for girls – I asked my wife
I asked my wife. She has better advice then what I wrote. Go for what you want. You have to see your value as a human being and forget about what guys want. They have to come to you. They have to start thinking about what you want not what they want.
If your current system does not work change it. Start seeing your value as a human and think about you.
Forget those guys. What are you worth less than them? Think about you and closing the deal. Brush those losers off.
If you do that you will for sure have you prince.
If it does not work, you do not lose anything. What do you lose, a hopeless guy for not doing boom-boom. You do not want to be some ones toy.
Look, do you want to be like Oprah or Cameron Diaz who could not close the deal or like the Eastern European who gets married and has kids?
Hi Mark,
A big think you to both you and your wife for taking the time to address my question. I think you are a wonderful father and your daughter is extremely lucky to have you. I can see you truly respect women and only wish the best for us.
You’re wife’s advice totally changed my perspective and made me feel better. I never thought of those men who dumped me as a good riddance until now.
I guess I have to be patient until someone worthwhile comes along. I think I may also be looking at men in the wrong age category. Most of the men I have dated were in their 20s. I don’t think most men are ready to settle down and discuss marriage and family at that age. Perhaps I should consider men in their 30s?
Time just passes so quickly. Though I am young now, my biggest fear is that one day I will wake up, still single, looking for someone who wants to marry me, and my childbearing years are coming to an end. That is my biggest fear.
I am a very old-fashioned type of girl, one who marries young, has children, and stays with my husband till death. However, in U.S., we live in a culture where it is becoming increasing common for people to move in together, never marry, for men to impregnate women, then take off. Now, we have generations of people who have grown up with out a father and while I try not to judge, it is truly tragic. A child needs both it’s parents to have a healthy and secure upbringing. I do not want to end up in that kind of situation. I do not want to make the mistake of marrying the wrong man thinking he’s the right one, having children, then getting a divorce. Divorce is a four-letter word to me because I grew up in India, and also because I feel your partner should be with you no matter what. Too often I see people divorcing for extremely petty reasons. In fact, I read that the most common reason for divorce in U.S. is financial troubles.
I dated a man on and off for two years now. While he claims to care about me, he doesn’t want to commit to me. I love him very much but whenever I bring up marriage, he disappears, only to reappear again a few months later apologizing and begging me to take him back. He is a nice man and more than happy to date me and be romantic with me. However, I can’t help but feel like he is keeping me around until the TRUE girl of his dreams comes into his life. It is difficult to let him go forever as I love him very much. Unfortunately, he doesn’t love me and that hurts very much.
I am considering moving to Europe to find my prince :P. I find American men very attractive but sadly culturally they are not for me. I want someone who appreciates marriage and a family life. Perhaps I am being judgmental but most American men are only happy to date. Once, you bring up marriage, they take off. I do not know if finding a prince in Europe is the same as finding a princess in Europe. Perhaps not but at the least, it will be a good learning experience.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I hope something works out for me.
I do love this article. There is a lot of wisdom in it seldom mentioned in magazines and self-help books. The viewpoint of a man is priceless to me.
Thanks to you and your wife.
I do not know if I have any great wisdom other than what I observe. I see a lot of women in relationships with hopeless guys who will never marry them and not have kids, and if they do, they will have to be dragged to the alter. And if they have kids they will spend more time with their friends than their child. I see a lot of guys who are committed to just dating and that is it.
If you want to live the dream (happy marriage, family and someone who will be there for you) you have to be patient.
You are right, money and finance is no reason ever to get divorced. If you have no money, so what? I live in Poland remember and I see people who live on 300 dollars a month on a regular basis. For American couples to split based on money means they are lost souls drifting thought the universe until they return to dust.
I think generally men are not ready in their 20s. Some are. My friends from school, many got married in their 20s and they are happy ever since with many kids. But they are from the North Carolina, Baptist and so the culture is a little different from the rest of the US.
It does not matter, young or old or Europe or America, but it does matter someone who believes in love and ideals. And there are many attractive guys who believe this. And remember, there is a big difference between good looking or beautiful and attractive. Attractive guys might not be good looking, or at least to most girls, they just have this certain thing to them that attracts you.