A common myth that irritates me and does not want to be dispelled is you need a good job or money to get girls, or at least desirable girls to date and marry. Women do not care about money. More important, the ones you want to marry do not care about your net worth or cash flow. If you put it out there, that one of your desirable traits is you are financially sound, you hurt your chances of finding true love.
Example why girls and money do not mix
Let me rephrase that, girls and money are a dangerous mix if you want a happy life. Let me explain. I recently connected with two old friends of mine and one additional friend where I live, here in Europe. One was a lawyer and the other was in the investment and stock market field, however, the third one was living an alternative lifestyle as a teacher.
All these guys were equal in school in terms of looks and brains. So it is a good example for ceteris paribus. I would even say the latter lagged behind the other two in terms of dates and quality of women when he was young, perhaps because he was shy. So for women he would be the less desirable of the three at the start.
The lawyer married a nice girl who he meet early on. She was nothing to write home about but I guess he was happy, for a while. He spend an inordinate amount of time chasing the next level at work until he was partner. However, he let is life partner, his wife, take a back seat. It took its toll on his life. At this point I think in terms of love, life and happiness he is just waiting for the sweet kiss of death to set him free. But he is a rich guy.
The investment guy was divorced and overworked. He was not in the best of shape either physically or emotionally. However, he had a lot of money and I mean a lot. He has a nice red BMW and a house by the ocean. However, women see him as a meal ticket not his soul and the women he attracted were gold-diggers who would compromise love for lifestyle.
The poor man and money – Enter the alternative guy. He is rather a geek and teaches English abroad. He has not amassed any great fortune teaching English abroad. His pittance he lives on is below the poverty level and even if he married a foreign lady friend he might have trouble getting her a US green card as the US has now requirements on economic income to bring a foreign wife in the country.
However, he dates only model looking women ten plus years his age, travels from time to time to Greece and Italy with them on a shoe string and they cook and clean his apartment. What is going on here? Easy, women do not take rich guys seriously unless their is a real twinkle in their souls. And this is hard to find as life is about trade offs.
While the over achievers are pursuing society defined goals of money and power the under achiever is living his life by the beat of a different drummer. This is what girls like. Guys who make their own rules.
Which professions get the most dates and girls?
Why do bank robbers rob banks? Because that is where the money is. If you want to get high quality women, go where the women are.
Do not go for the high paying professions where you you will sell your soul and live according to societies predefined set of rules. Go where the girls go. I think females might be the wiser of the two genders, they put their heart above money unless they themselves are lost souls.
Where are the professions with girls? Be an English teacher, surfer, tour guide, DJ, bartender, hotgrapher, yoga instructor, you tube video maker, work in a bookstore or a clothing shop. You get the point. Live your real interest. Even one day a week. But do not believe the lie that money equals women.
I meet a professional player in the dating field
When I was in Buenos Aires renting a flat I had an acquaintance twenty years my senior who is one of the world experts on dating and women. I can not go into more details but it is true. He is not a self-proclaimed expert but really has had girls lining up at his door his whole life for reasons I can not disclose. He has dated more women than one hundred movie star or Wall Street banker combined. He gave me one pearl of wisdom that stuck in my mind today as was confirmed by experience. He said, I have found there is an inverse correlation between income and women.
From myth to science with money and girls – Such a bold statement first shocked me, as it was so contrary to conventional wisdom. But is was no more unbelievable than when I first learned that time slows down as we approach the speed of light. It is a universal law. Women, money, high paying careers do not mix.
Everything in my subsequent experiences confirms this. Women who like you because of your job, do not like you. I have seem many a women marry bankers and when the guys lost their job in a downturn, they women left also, for some petty reason. I know doctors who pull a half a million dollars a year, who married very difficult women and just want more and more in terms of cash. Their lives as men are nothing more than being a bank cash machine.
Think of the movie Titanic and who got the girl in the end? The rich great Gatsby guy did not.
So someone explain to me how rich men get women? They do not. I fly back to the States from time to time and revisit my old haunts when I was a professional on Wall Street or Boston and the guys there that are working hard and professional but are poor souls in terms of love and marriage.
Do you want to marry a rich woman?
Do you want to marry a dragon woman who excels in her field? I do not. These girls really put me off their self inflated feeling of importance. I think the best mates for either gender are people who are humble, sincere and have faith in God and ideals and moral. These women are the worst in most cases, peacocks with no juice. Not because of their income, but because of what they sacrificed to get there. Life or economics is a series of trade offs. We each had difference indifference curves.
- Find a girl whose indifference curve is connected with getting utility from reading, literature, art, religion, travel and languages and someone who would be honored to be a mother and a wife.
- Find a girl who believes in marriage and would not ever leave you, not matter what. Because in their words of St. Thomas Kempis ‘anyone who flees in times of trouble is not worthy to be called a lover’.
- Read more on love and money.
Read my lips, money will destroy love if you pursue it. If you seek love and only love you will be happy. Money is like air it comes and goes and circulates. Love lasts forever.
6 thoughts on “Love money girls and jobs”
The guy in Buenos Aires does have a Pearl of Wisdom. I’m curious Mark, what made him so popular with the women? You say that you can not disclose. Is it because you don’t know what made him so popular or you do know, but you don’t want to say? If you don’t mind I’m just curious to know.
If you contact me I can tell you, but basically he had a specific attitude. I would not say he looked anything special but more his experience and understanding of women.
Ever thought about writing a book? i do think it will be a bestseller:-)
Thanks for the kind words. I have some blogs and write software, but a book would be more for fun rather than money. Thank you again.
You are absolutely right on the Cinderella archetype. Some of the most beautiful girls I knew were from the countryside, hard to find like them in posh residential areas in big cities. They are naturally beautiful, have cordial bodies, are intelligent and some of them are well educated. Moreover, as you put it they are girls with better values and more in tune with their instincts.
Also, your description of the paradoxical behavior in the Snow White archetype is accurate and insightful.
On of the hats I wear is I am a realtor. I was driving around a poor country area on Sunday, a lot of land and cheap homes. There was an inordinate number of thin attractive women I would not see in the metropolis. More like they were stuck in time spending time with their families or walking down a country road. I will have to post some hots. I do not know if their frugality has kept them thin, or they do not have time to pack food (in their stomach) or they move around a lot but they were all universally thin. The people I spoke to were exceptionally nice and not money focused. I just do not know if the American countryside contains the same spiritual commitment to marriage as someplace like Poland?
Similarly I can say from living in Europe for a decade it was my same experience. My wife is from a village. She does not care or nag me about money or material things. She shows me kindness and does not hassle me. She has a Masters and went to a medical School in Europe and has no problem doing things like solving Rubiks cube. Just because she grew up in the countryside does not mean she is unintelligent or unsophisticated, on the contrary and she really has a good heart.
I would recommend any guys out there looking for a perfect wife (every guy should be), try looking for Cinderella or Snow White. In my experience a lot of American women like to dress up with nice clothes but they are more like Cruella De Vil in their hearts. It is like the nicest ones have an ugly side waiting to emerge when you least expect it. I have not found that with my wife. Marry a fairy-tale princess not one who can afford to dress like one.