How to find the woman to marry? In a nutshell, you want a beautiful woman with low self-esteem. I know this sounds like radical advice in a world about putting yourself out there. My advice is to find someone who is aware and even self-accusatory. Self-accusation combined with awareness is the first step to changing the ego and pride into something more beautiful. I would say the same advice applies to women who want to find a husband. You do not want to find some egotistical power guy, do you? Both men and women need to be humble and self-abasing to have a better chance at forming a union with another person, or else it becomes a contest of egos.
The purpose of marriage is to help your partner get to heaven. Always be thinking in these terms.
Rating women 1-10 (even if guys do not do it formally but make an evaluation on looks) is where most guys fail, and it destroys their lives. Let me explain, when rating a girl out of 10 for a potential partner, use my adjusted rating scale for evaluating a woman’s attractiveness. It is not what a person looks like that counts, rather, it is her attractiveness divided by her self perceived attractiveness. This ratio is how you rate a girl from 1 to 10. It is an analytical ratio of one factor relative to another, not a raw number. Ratios tell the real story of female desirability.
- For example, if you meet a woman (or man) who is a perfect 10 on a scale from 1 to 10, yet she believes is a 10, then her rating is 1.0 rather than 10.0. That is because the amount of head games she will put you though just to be with her pretty face or let you hold her pneumatic milk glands at some level will drive you away.
She has most likely been corrupted by a society of gawking men (and women mind you) and complimenting her and holding doors open all her life. Her ego is so large that it clouds her beauty. Alas, this beauty/ego ratio will resolve itself all in good time.
Summer’s lease is all too short – William Shakespeare
What happens when her looks fade what will you be left with but a 5 with a huge ego and expectations no human could satisfy? Yes, there will be a deflation of her ego but do you really want to be the guy to teach her about wisdom?
Girls with low self-esteem that are the most attractive
Find a cordial girl. Then ask her to rate herself. If she says anything from a 1 to 5 you keep her. For example, a girl who is a perfect 10 in your eyes, and rates her self a 4 her real rating is 10/4 or 2.5 on an adjusted scale. This girl is rated a ten in my book. Remember since we are using a scientific ratio here, rather than a simple ordinal ranking, the numbers will be lower. A 2.5 is like one in a billion find or more (think of the bell curve). More likely an American girl would be a 4, but rate herself a 7 which means she is a .57. You can see the scale is different and the numbers and analysis does not correlate with a naive girl rating out of 10.
Nothing robs a female (or men) of her beauty more than ‘a person who knows it all’, talks loud, and has been there done that with other guys, is so cool and thinks herself beautiful and has an inflated ego. Ironically these people are the ones with no style, fleshy, tattoos, and swear like a sailor.
People might refute me and say girls with low self-esteem are dangerous because once they develop self-confidence, then the flight factor increases exponentially. I do not find that the case. I think a lot of our core personalities are determined as teens. Even me, I would say to some extent I am still a skinny, shy 18-year-old guy. I know this is not the reality but it has taken a lifetime for me to overcome by insecurities. So if you find a girl who is cordial with low self-esteem she is a keeper.
Still you might hem and haw, but contrast that with an American girl who has an inflated ego and is a size 10 or 12 and her chin in the air and an uppity bounce to her step.
Better is to find a slim leggy girls with wide hips and long hair with slightly rounded shoulders because she does not believe in herself fully. Then rescue her and make her world complete. I mean this is what girls do for us guys, make us complete.
What is you are a girl with low self-esteem? Paradoxically you probably are a real-life Cinderella or sleeping beauty, you just do not believe it.
Where to find beautiful girls with low self-esteem?
Maybe in Western culture but maybe not in the USA or the UK as our cultures are all about exulting the powerful and ‘ self-confident’ egotist, is this not right? American culture pumps women up to make them think they are goddesses. Let me give you an example.
I met this single mom at the playground the other day. She is middle-aged and more than a little corpulent and grey. She was saying she would like to move to a big city, because when she live in NYC she used to meet all kinds of cute guys just reading a book at a cafe. What planet is this girl from? Maybe when she was 23 and single, but why did she divorce her husband anyway (she left him because ‘he needed to change, in many small ways’)? Does she really think the world of men will still waiting to fall all over her? Yeah, we are waiting for you honey.
Here is another example to contrast that with.
I remember like 15 years ago on my first trip to Russia, this bagged out American female travel agent who I was buying the flight tickets from, was making fun of this guy who met a nice humble girl in Russia and married her. What is wrong with that, I though? Better than being stuck with a closed-minded hag like you. I am sure to this day they are still happily married.
Go West young man (Mark Twain) and South and East but make sure you go far enough to cross an ocean (Admin).
Go to Russia, Ukraine, Eastern Europe, India, Asia, South America, Africa, everywhere this Western materialistic culture has not poisoned the well. There you will find girls who are rustic and naturally beautiful but do not have overly inflated egos (are not pains in the butts). Women who study languages, and music and have a classical education with an interest in literature and interest in travel.
An apology to American women
Not all American women are egotistical or lack humility. Generalizations about culture are wrong and bad. Many are beautiful and sweet girls who do develop their mind and spirits and travel etc. It is just that seems to be the exception rather than the rule and the girls who are like this have a lot of alpha males trying to play them. They often become bitter as a result. It is not their fault it is the times we live in.
I would equally recommend American women to consider to unplugging from this cycle of dating that leads nowhere and consider other cultures that are more congruent with your world view.
Find a girl who is attractive not by society’s standard but by your valuation of beauty
Better is to find a perfect ten—someone who is out of this world in terms of attractiveness. Not who the world thinks is 10, mind you, but who you do. Someone who is your ten. Many girls who are rated beautiful by society are not. They are a false light. I have made this point in my post about what is attractive on girls.
Metaphor to drive the point home about what is attractive on a girl
Would you rather have artificial flourescent lights in your home, or in contrast, your house or workspace be illuminated by natural light shining though an arched window or skylight or even stained glass? And so it is with women’s beauty. Natural and subtle are the best. Appearance and looks that do not stand out or are artificially altered by the beauty industry, and it is a business.
Society turns their head for the flashiest girls and rates them the highest. Ignore those ridiculous and chauvinistic sites that rate girls or rank the most beautiful women. Or people who has some cookie-cutter conception of how a girl should look, and girls painfully strive to fit this model.
What the beauty industry conveys is false about relative attractiveness and female ratings
For example, the beauty industry might convey a girl with a little turned-up English nose is beautiful and a roundish face a ‘all American body’. However, my wife has more of a classical Roman nose with high cheekbones which is more striking for me. She also has dark features with disproportionately long legs which I like. The geekiest non-conventionally looking girls are the highest rated. There is a strange beauty in disproportionately. You have to find the mate for you, that really wins you had turns your world upside down.
Another one of my friend (George) is obsessed with big jugs. His weighting scale on this factor is skewed in my view. If he does not tread carefully he could make a mistake in choosing is mate on this raking factor.
My point is you have to find what is your ten, your beauty. Then make sure she is part of a real fairy-tale fantasy script, that is she needs to be rescued. Not some modern-day revisionist materialistic fairy-tale where the girls does not need to be rescued and once she is married she will turn to her friends on girls night out, ‘oh my husband, he is such an idiot’ (it happens). Find your low-self image girl who will knock your socks off in terms of looks. This will be your girl rated a perfect 10. Rating girls 1-10 is fun as long as you know what you are doing. Let me know what you think of my recommendation on how to rate girls (physical rating/girl’s self perceived attractiveness rating).