For love you want to find the bad girl who is good.   What does this mean?  You want someone imperfect, broken, twisted and seeking redemption.  I would prefer a female who is perverse and disproportional to a metaphorical perfect Pringle potato chip.  Why?

bad fiance

Archetype of a bad girl

What really is a dark side – The seven deadly sins – reconsidered

When we lose our devils we lose our angels – Carl Jung

It is the things that torture us and distort our vision and leave us grotesque (Sherwood Anderson) that make us interesting, rather than being Dead Souls (Gogol). Think of the introspective dark hero Lestat in the Interview with a Vampire series. You want a partner who is good in the moral sense at their core, but in the psychological sense, broken and striving for redemption.

It’s an awful truth that suffering can deepen us, give a greater lustre to our colours, a richer resonance to our words. – Anne Rice

  1. Lust – excessive, inordinate  or misdirected love including promiscuous fantasies. I would rather date a ‘working girl’ who really believes in God, than a hyper consumptive material girl with a career who goes to church on holidays or is Christian, Jew, Muslim or Hindu in name only. Even in the Bible, Jesus was hanging out with women of ill repute, over the hypocrites with public respect.  Someone who has strange and exotic fantasies is someone who has high libidinal energies. These energies can channelled into creative endeavours and or reproduction.
  2. Jealously – Women who say, ‘oh he is jealous’, and jealous people are to be avoid. False. People believe that have no sense of what jealously really is.  Jealously (I am talking romantic jealousy) is a strong desire to have and want something for yourself rooted in reproductive drives to protect your mating material.  I want someone who is jealous about me and I am about them. It means I care and they care.  I love them and our love will be passionate.  If we are all cool about things, where is the spice and fun?  If people’s blood is not red than what is the point of having a commitment?  People that are not jealous I question their real level of commitment, they are the ones that will swap you out for another with time.  Women in the USA think men (I am talking about psychologically normal guys) are stalkers or possessive or jealous until proven emasculated.  Give me a jealous woman any day of the week over who suppresses their instinctual drives to possess her mate.
  3. Anger – Women have moods based on hormonal swings (you don’t say). It just means their juices are flowing, and you as a man need to be aware of that and ride out the storms.  Give me a women who throws pots over some dried up old librarian type any night. A woman with conflicted emotion and slightly neurotic is exciting don’t you think, as long as she is tempered by religion and knows not to leave you.
  4.  Sloth –   Work smart not hard. Laziness is an evolutionary advantage as it makes people use their brain to find a better way in life.  If possible avoid an unimaginative office worker/career woman. Better is a girl who wants to homestead, be an entrepreneur or use their brain to find some creative way, to channel her energy. Therefore, she has more time to spend with you. Is that not what love is? That is, maximizing time with the one you love.  I do not mean women who do not clean. You need a fastidious woman, rather a woman who likes to enjoy her life and use her brain in a creative way. For example, I knew a woman at my last job, who puts crazy hours in at the office, and then goes on cruises and plays games of chance. This is such a boring life.
  5. Gluttony  – Fat women are unattractive. On the other hand,  a woman who does not lust for appetitive consumption is not fun either. I want a woman who can cook food better than any restaurant, because she like I believes you do not waste a meal. If a woman can cook and loves to eat, she will make a good mother for your children. The trick is to find a girl who loves to consume and stays skinny. This is usually someone who is active and eats organic food.  For example, I do not restrict myself, yet, only eat home cooked organic food and stay thin.
  6. Greed – I despise material women, women that care about money and think love and money go hand in hand. Any woman that brings money into the love equation is a scammer. I do not care if she is from Russia or Beacon Hill in Boston. Yet the greed I am talking about is a desire to make your life better through creative productive efforts. If you want a house and do not have money look into Cordwood masonry.  I want a woman who can decorate even if she has no money. There is always a way to better your life. You want a beautiful life. A greedy girl makes life nice as long as she is the author of her own gilded castle rather than wants you to make money so she can have unlimited shopping.
  7.  Pride – This is in my mind the only sin.  Pride or lack of humility is the one show stopper for personal relationships. If someone lacks humility than it is hard for them to progress spiritually. Paradise Lost explains this as the primary reason people alienate themselves from love.  Dante’s Purgatorio details how this character blocks us from authentic love. I agree.  Best is to walk away from a prideful girl, rather than be there when she falls.
  •  Instinctively you know bad girls are baby makers. A twisted woman is good for reproduction and practising a lot. Carnal by its nature is a forbidden rebellious act, ever since Adam and Eve. If we are in this exile on earth, you might as well be honest and find yourself a beauty to enjoy it with. That is the whole point of getting married, to have a family. She should be miss Goody Two-Shoes after you are married. Therefore, when I talk about marrying a bad girl, I am really talking about marrying someone whose juices are flowing. You want someone struggling with their life, rather than born into wholeness.

I’m at odds with everything and always have been. I have never belonged anywhere with anyone at any time. You sense my loneliness, my bitterness that I don’t deserve to be loved and yet I need love hungrily.  –  Anne Rice

Someone with enough vitality and life-force, even if chaotic at time, to be able to do this task, that is bring your life to the next level.

good relationship girl

Archetype of a good girl

American women falsely believe there are these cardinal criteria for a partner, and they are based on their understanding of psychological health. Wrong. I do not care if my partner is neurotic, OCD, ADD, depressed lonely or has fantasies that are bizarre.  Anima by her nature is an unconscious sensual contradiction.  As long as they are a peaceful good soul who humble themselves and lives a life of prayer, what do I care if they are incomplete and dark? In fact, if they are admittedly twisted this is slightly positive as at least they are honest.

I want someone with an insatiable lust for life and is honest that they feel the existential anxiety of living and seeking redemption. Because it is only in love we can be redeemed. Someone not seeking love’s grace, has no chance to be beautiful. – Mark Biernat

What you do not want in a wife

What behaviour pop culture deems as signature of the dark side or bad women is not. If women have this behaviour it does not mean they are dark, it means they are to be avoided because they have tendencies to be boring or have real moral issues that lead to ugliness.  They will bring you down and destroy your life.

What is not the dark side but just lack of brains or moral compass:

  1. smoking
  2. swearing
  3. cell phone addiction
  4. Facebook addiction
  5. man-made mind altering drinks or pills.
  6. slobs
  7. lack of intellectual curiosity
  8. lack of ability to make a lifelong commitment – this is a big one.
  9. lack of desire for kids or termination of a life before birth – this is a deal breaker.
  10. spends a lot or shopping at the mall.
  11. Tattoos – On hipster alternative people this can be accepted.
  12. does not cook and depends on packaged microwave food. – This person can be re-educated.
  13. talks or reminisces about her old flames – drop this girl like a bad habit
  14. career woman
  15. interest in Netflix type series on horror, criminal or Orange is the New Black type. Mindless shows that entice people into negative fantasies and distortions about real life.
  16. lack of faith – they need at least to be manifest actions congruent with an Unconscious God (Vickor Frankl).

Marry a rose with thorns that will fulfill your boyhood fantasies

When I was fourteen my childhood friend George and I would sit on a hill in Vermont in the evening and look at the stars and wonder who we would marry. What are future wives would look like.  I married that girl of my dreams.

If you want to want to know more about where to find such women and the steps to get you to the alter and live happily ever after, read my blog.  I only give you the truth. I do not sugar coat things . Subscribe to my blog, share this and and like this on Facebook and you will get more beautiful photos and relationship advice.