Turkish girls
Turkish girls are beautiful. Turkish women are often educated and most of the times quite nice. But there is a problem with ladies from Turkey, if you are an American or British guy.
That is a woman from Asia minor come from a radically different culture than you. They are a Mediterranean culture which makes them usually warm and friendly, however, they are Muslim and this is a different religion than most Americans and English guys.
In theory, it should not make any difference, as ‘you are your religion’, however, for a long term relationship this could be potentially a show stopper.
See the relationships that work best are those that have two people who are most similar. I know people say opposites attract but only for the short term. I think people who are similar in beliefs attract. It is just common sense. This has nothing at all to do with race or look, but rather world view. Birds of a feather flock together. People who have different world views can become friends latter but people who are similar fly.
Turkish girls have a classic Mediterainian shape
Turkish girl looks
Turkish girls are actually from Asian origin, but over 1000 years there is big mix. First there are Ancient peoples, like the Hittites that mixed in. Then Byzantine for sure mixed in as well as others. So I have noted variation of looks between Turkish girls in the east and west of Turkey.
They basically have a very classic ancient world look. They tend to have wide hips and thin waist. Their faces are broad rather than long, like northern Europeans. Turk girls are attractive and generally all around nice people.
Turkish girl risks
The risk with Turkish girls is, however, small, that if you are looking for love, they could scam you. Turkey is the poor-man of Europe and many would love to escape poverty, even if it means marrying a western guy.
I mention this risk only because I know guys who have been scammed. But this issues is becoming more of a none issue, as the world is changing and I do not think it is a problem with ladies from Turkey, but some people in general. If you go to Istanbul or Ankara its like any city in the world, there are good and bad people everywhere. I personally love Istanbul. I spend a lot of time in Istanbul and the people there are very warm. The Istanbul girls are like western girls but a little warmers and more conservative. Which in my opinion is actually a good thing. For marriage or a bride you want a conservative bride, not some crazy women who will tell you how wrong you are all the time like many ladies in the USA.
I think this risk they will leave you in marriage is low. I call this the flight factor, this is because many are still very traditional. In fact, it is much lower than the flight factor of an American girl in general.
Turkish girls are sophisticated and traditional women
My conclusion is, Turkish girls are beautiful and educated but the difference in culture and economics could make a long term relationship hard. But with love all things are possible.
Tags: Turkish girls
99 responses to Turkish girls
Turkey is a country which changes in culture from region to region, but certain values are the same. Marriage is an important social issue, being a good mother and wife is important in Turkish culture. What Turks believe creating a healthy society is in the hands of mothers.
I am a Turkish girl myself, university graduate. (To your interest, British culture and literature) and working at a sector which requires a lot of travelling (Well, I mean A LOT! Can you guess which sector it is?) I have visited many countries in Europe, Asia, a few in Africa and been to Canada and America. Women are women everywhere. But in Turkish society:
- Turkish women, no matter how much education they get want to get married and have children. The ones ask for the opposite from life are creating the very slight layer of the Turkish society.
- Financial security is important for Turkish women. A lot of them dislike macho men, on the other hand they want their men to be strong figures (not only physically). Turkish women are generally submissive, possessive and jealous when they love.
- It is a courtesy in Turkish culture that men pay when there is a meeting. That is not because Turkish women don’t make any money or do not work but it is a cultural thing. It is a proof of how gentleman the guy is.
- Lying is not a part of the culture. As much common as in every culture I would say. I saw the worse in some countries, trust me
- Turkish girls are Mediterrenean. They are hot-blooded.
Go for a Turkish girl if you are open for Turkish culture and Islam. Most Turkish women wouldn’t ask you to become a Muslim or get circumcised (new generation is not really conservative anyway yet certain values are still there and people are not willing to break them for the sake of love because even love fades -unfortunately- but certain values remain until the end of one’s life) but their family would. There is a great respect for the opinion of the family in Turkish culture as a son or daughter. It will not be only enough if a Turkish girl loves you but you should gain the hearts of the family members if you want a happy relationship / marriage. In Turkish culture it is not regarded as a lack of independency but as a part of respect for the family and elder people’s opinions. So if you are ready to handle these, give it a try. If not, don’t try hard to dislike Turkish girls. The cards are generally open. Good luck!
Thanks for the very balanced view. I would agree that Turkish girls are very open t new ideas and cultures and warm and friendly. The ones I have known are Doctors or very educated. The key thing with Turkey is it is a culture that is in between Europe Muslim. I think it was much more traditional but now is becoming something totally different.
By the way, I think Turkey should eliminate the tourist visa fee, I think more people would go. Its a great place for vacation.
Just to reiterate some points:
My ‘experiences’ are not ‘theories’, because a theory is something that has not ‘yet’ been put into practice. As I have consistently said I have been to Turkey twice and had Turkish friends since 2003 and still have some Turkish friends who i often speak
with about Turkey, Turkish culture and Yurkish politics and history.
You cannot deny a person’s experiences. All of the experiences I have written about in my posts are all true, in fact many of them can be verified by the TURKISH people who were with me during the events – although I mam not going to post their e-mail addresses and mobile phone numbers for anyone to contact them directly as there are legal ramifications surrounding that.
I do not believe my behavior resulted in people treating me poorly. I do agree though that some people can behave in such a way as to leave them in positions and situations that leave them wide open to be exploited and manipulated. I know this because in my teenage years I was one of these people and therefore I was VERY aware of not allowing myself to put myself into these same positions later on in life. So, the assertion that the extremely poor behavior aimed at me during my time in Turkey was actually my own doing is, I’m afraid to say, a reflection of a person projecting negativity onto a victim – which is of course a whole new argument involving character assassination, belittlement and mnany other negative character traits developed in order to deny truth.
As for the spitting incident – this happened at the Anit Kabir (the Ataturk Mauseleum) in Ankara. Contrary to the speculation in one of the above posts that this incident was actually my fault for associating with crazy people – the truth is that I was visiting the Anit Kabir with two friends and it was a STRANGER to me who spat in my face after she heard me questioning a painting depicting ANZAC soldiers bayoneting new born babies at Gelibolu (Gallipoli). Shall I say it again, The person who spat in my face was a member of the public, a stranger to me. I did not know this person!
Now, to Lioness:
You make some interesting points, but I categorically refuse to accept your commentthat lying is not a part of Turkish culture. Absolutely everyone I spoke to in Turkey; friends, mere acquaintances and the family of those people plus friends of friends and indeed academics at Ankara University (where I sat in on a thermodynamics (termodinamiks) lecture as part of my friends Chemical Engineering (kimya muhendisligi) course) and Bilkent University all discussed this and these issues with me and they all admitted that lying is a CENTRAL aspect of Turkish society.
Lying, of course, is not a spoken and openly active topic of discussion in Turkey, as it isn’t in most countries – this is not my point at all. Rather, to lie as a way out of (or into) a situation is totally acceptable in Turkey. My experiences of this go back to 2003 when my ‘friend’ (whom I found a house and a job for) openly admitted that to secure the job she ‘just lied’ about having the correct visa to be able to work the amount of hours she needed. The culture of lying is deep rooted in Turkish society – it starts during the state indoctrination system of the cult of Ataturk and continues all the way through into adulthood. I have been told and experienced at first hand the antics of young Turkish women from the ages of 19 all the way through to the mid 30s. Turkey is a country split by modernity and Islamic tradition – the women do not know which way to turn – they want all the vices and superficial temporary enjoyments that westernization and capitalism provide them yet they want to maintain the honour of ‘family’ and ‘religion’. It’s like a state szchophrenia! Essentially, from my own experiences plus from what I have discussed with TURKs, the women lie in order to live the life they see their western contemporaries living (why should they miss out on the sex element when they have everything else like g-strings and McDonalds?) – yet they cannot of course openly admit doing this in order to protect the family name and their own conservative honour system for fear of being called ‘a hooker’ – they can’t even have a boyfriend for fear of being called a hooker – at least my friend ‘couldn’t’ in 2008 yet in 2006 she openly had a boyfriend.
Essentially it’s a culture split down the middle in terms of secularism and traditional islam, just add into the mix the popularist popularism cult of Ataturk and the growing influence of westernism and you have one pretty clucked up situation whereby young Turkish women (competitive to the last in the hunt for their perfect western Islamist Ataturk loving macho sensitive non metrosexual 6′ ‘extremely financially comfortable’ banker from Samsun ‘guy’). The result is that the people don’t know themselves and so even if they do treat non- Turks in an awfully disgusting manner they don’t even realise that what they’re doing is wrong or unethical because everything in their culture (and the things outside their culture but whose upbringing indoctrinates them to apply only in line with Kemalism) is in place to prevent them from developing the maturity or integrity to provide them with the appropriate level of empathy to understand the world outside their own safety blanket.
Once again – How can I be ignorant if I gave those people the ‘opportunity’’ to prove my hypothesis of them to be incorrect as it would have been unethical and un-empathetic to place my value judgements as a non-turk onto them as being the way they see the world. Surely it would have been ignorant of me to have not gone back to Turkey and given those people an ‘opportunity’ as if I had have done that I would have been guilty of exactly what my upbringing and education have allowed me to see as facets of non integrity.
As for the comment by someone suggesting she doubted that I was actually ever in love with a Turk, well I’m afraid you’re totally wrong. The girl I loved eventually became the person who stole from me, exploited me and doubted me despite proving my integrity and honesty for close on half a decade. I think I’m pretty qualified!
Opportunity – Education has facilitated me to provide this to people through positive elements of communication (ie listening).
Opportunity – what the cult of Kemalism and Turkish educational indoctrination prevents.
For anyone interested in further reading, may I suggest:
Kemalism as a Language of Turkish Politics: Cultivation, Reproduction, Negotiation. By Leda Glyptis.
Living up to the father: The national identity prescriptions of remembering Atatürk; his homes, his grave, his temple. By Leda Glyptis.
Dear Former Turk Lover,
First of all,I would like to thank you for book suggestions.
Secondly,I would like to share my experince with an english man who I fell in love at the age of seventeen.As I was waiting to meet one of my friends at Istiklal Avenue of Istanbul,I saw a man who was running with a suitcase on his hand and a man trying to catch him…The man with suitcase diassappeared,the other one came to me in hurry and asked if I know english or not.I said “yes” and he told me the story of the man who stole his suitcase with his passport,credit cards,money…
I took him to police station,as he was broke I made him to stay at one of my friend’s house,I shared all the money I have with him until his family sent him money from the UK.Through this time period,we fell in love or I thought like that.Spent three months together,accepted to be his witness at the court.The man was not found.As a result of this,the case was going on.He lied to me about many things,he used me to come to terms with this hard situation…As soon as I told him that I wouldn’t be able to go on like that(I didn’t mean it just I thought he loved me and he would change his behaviour towards me),he blamed me about cooperating with the man who stole his passport(the passport is important there than anything about suitcase) at the court.I wished to be dead at that moment…My cousins who are in charge in Turkish Army made my dear boy friend persuade to change his statement…He did…Then the man found in a month,three months later,his passport found sold to a man from East Turkey.You can easily guess how much trouble I had with my family through those times.
I was totally disappointed,full of anger,crying everyday,depressed,not talking to anyone…I was accepted to one of the best universities Of Turkey in Ankara and couldn’t continue my education for a year because of depression.
I hated him for a long time but just him.Never had negative thought about english people.This is just about the PERSON itself,,not whole nation he belongs.
I have some friends from the UK,some lives in Turkey,some in the UK.One of them is a journalist in Ankara,married a turkish woman.He is helping me in english and in return I help him in turkish.He is one of the nicest persons that I have ever known.
Culture of a country,yes,important…But those kind of behaviours just depends the person itself,it is about character.
Hi Denis,
I’m sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. I offer my sympathies to you and I must admit that there is a large element of British (and English) society that deems the kind of behaviour you were on the receiving end of to be ‘acceptable’ because they deem anyone non-British as a ‘lesser’ person and thus making it ‘acceptable’ to lie to and exploit – (in almost the same way as the people who did the same to me as I have been explaining).
Again, you are also correct that this type of behaviour relates directly to individuals, however, I do believe that there are socio-cultural and behavioural reasons behind this type of behaviour that relate very much to the socialisation process which either builds or limits a persons empathetic filters. I would love to explain to you the many aspects of British society and culture which facilitated that man to explot you and believe me I criticise my own country and society and culture (or developing lack of) much more than I criticise Turkey.
Essentially my point is that I believe Turkish girls to be liars for a number of reasons such as geography, socialisation, the growth and spread of capitalist ideology and westernisation, traditional islamic values, Kemalism, the state indoctrination system, Article 331, the state run Turkish media, the spread of internet communication and transient relationships and many other things that I have spoken about in my other posts – Turkey being unique because there are very few places in the world that sits in such a prime position in terms of politics, culture, geography and development.
Hi Former Turk Lover,
Thank you for informing us about British society and culture.I think it is not fair to critisize British Society through my limited experinces with some British People and should not make any comments about them as I never been in the UK.My opinion about your society cannot go further more than my experiences and what I heard from people who visited,being from the UK or been living there.I should better to go on expaining my opinions,my observations about Turkey and Turkish Society with respect to article of the page.
There are some significant subjects that turkish women lie about which point on my personal observations and also declared by some sociologists.The basic thing that turkish girls lie about to their partners and the men to be married is about their virginity.Most of them act like a virgin and go through medical operations to get their virginity back before the marriage because of the aspect of the men and society.It is a fact,most men in Turkey wouldn’t pick up a non-virgin girl as a bride by ignoring her character and anything else she has.Therefore,most women choose to lie about their virginity and the number of boyfriends they had in the past.
This is quite common in Turkey to lie to parents or other family members who are involved to their life.Especially,to older brothers and fathers are being lied.Their repressive behaviour on children and too protective approach cause girls to lie them about what they are doing in daily life.This becomes more significant as they grow up,being teenagers.This could be about going out at night or having a boyfriend.When they grow up enough,father or older brother’s role is replaced by husband.Too repressive and jealous husbands made them lie about even for very innocent and small things.It is a well-common thought,”he could misunderstand,he could get angry about it” without trying to explain or struggle for it,they choose the easy way.In my opinion,to let the men control their lifes in such a stupid way is majorily fault of women.It is much more serious if you regard East Turkey.Some women are being killed there because of not being virgin or seeing a boy without marriage.
Some women lie about themselves in the name of marring a rich man.They think,all problems would be solved if they had more money.Again,choosing the easy way.Most of them are educated but they prefer to stay home as their husband earns enough.In my personal opinion,anything a person has without pain satisfies a person.To work,to built a career makes a person more self-confident and great opportunity for development.
Secondly,I would like to talk about the connection between Article 331 and Turkish Society’s intolerancy about some common facts which I tried to explain above.I cannot talk about those subjects with many turkish people.I’ve been called “traitor” or “prostitute”,most of them swear to me.I used to talk more but I learnt to shut up and I just talk about them with some close friends or people who can respect and empatize my thoughts.Once,with a classmate I was talking about Kemalism.As soon as he heard about my thoughts,he asked me if I had some other kind of blood rather than turkish.As I talked about Armenians,he called me “prostitute” and should go to Europe with my foreign b/f and never come back to Turkey as I do not belong here.He is not talking to me anymore.This is an educated person,a university student.You can guess easily how much trouble I could have with the rest of Turkey.I was born here,I grew with turkish language and turkish culture.I belong to here.How dare he could say this because of my opinions are different than his.Unfortunately,most people in Turkey are like him or worse and this people’s behaviour are supported by Article 331 which is a show of fascism absolutely.
The last thing I would like to talk about Armenians.Whatever you call it,”genocide,shame,immorality”,I just do not care.But what happened to these people were not fair on them.Shouldn’t go so far to 1917′s,I would like to share an event about the subject,just happened at 1970 in a small town of a city in Middle Black Sea Region.
My mother is originally from a city in Black Sea Region,from a small town there with a population 30.000.My grandmother and grandfather lived there until their death.We used to go there during vacations,summer times to visit my grandparents.in Istanbul,my mother has close friendship with two armenian families.I was 14 or 15,we went to their house for the supper.I was really wondering why more of them has turkish or muslim names.Then I learnt,my mother grew up with those people.That summer,we went to my mother’s town to visit grandparents,so I asked to her about this as mother’s armenian friends always asking about the town and my grandmother.She told me the story about what happened in 1970 there and how it is covered by turkish media,also not recorded officially.Sunni muslims first started to destroying the only church they had,then their graveyards,in three months period,they started to attack their houses.About 200 persons were being killed,children,women,babies…Some armenians changed their religion,started to go to mosques every friday in the name of protecting their wifes and children.About 1000 armenian people migrated to Istanbul and most of them to Europe.All happened in a year.Those people just left everything they had there,their fields,their houses and moved to other cities.My grandmother told those to me crying,she said “those people are Godless,they cannot be muslims” and my grandparents were religious and conservative people.What I talk here is a small town of a city…it is told,this kind of things happened in many places covered by media and government.I do not agree with the idea “I am not responsible for what my ancestors did” because we are.If this kind of things still goes on in our country,we must fight against it,it is our responsibility.
To Former Turkish Lover,
As I read your recent post about Turkish girls and people,I see such an anger which is caused by disappointments and empty hopes.I agree that turkish people always find excuses and those excuses are usually lies if they don’t want to do something.In our culture,to say “no” to people is not welcomed.For ex,one of your close friends is asking to go out tonight.If they don’t want to go,they can’t simply say “I want to stay home tonight or spent some time on my own”,they prefer to lie such having an illness or headache.What I see now,it is really changing.I used to lie about those things,finding excuses…But I realized it makes me feel quilty and puts a distance between me and the persons I love.I just say the truth now,most of people I know are like that,they tell the truth.
I hope your opinions will come to a balanced point someday.
By the way,it is article 301,not 331.Sorry for the typing mistake I’ve made above.
First of all, Turks have been around for more than 1000 years. Turkic language is AT LEAST 11.000 years old. Second of all, what poverty are they trying to escape from? You’re making Turkey sound as if it is a 3rd world country when CIA listed it as a developed country. Give me a break, man.
Very interesting points you make Deniz, thanks for that. You are right to correct me, yes it is Article 301 not 331…sorry I had been watching the Iraq Inquiry on TV all about UN Article 1441 and for some reason 331 stuck in my mind.
I think your longer of the above two posts relate extremely closely to the experiences I had in Turkey. You explain well the cultural and societal aspects that facilitate the lying – and my explanations in all of my posts essentially provide first person evidence of what you have explained, but in the context of a non-Turk and therefore from almost an outsider perspective.
To be honest, I am not really ‘angry’ about my experiences in Turkey. I believe that having been through those bad experiences has made me a stronger person and has actually workled in my favour 100% because it has allowed me to see what I considered to be ‘friends’ for their true colours so my experiences worked to filter out the negative and toxic elements of my life. My point also is that had they not been such liars, had they not taken the easy option and had they actually used their brain in a positive instead of negative manner, they could have continued to have my friendship, which, after all, is a good thing as I’m a genuine person, willing to help others. Their behaviour, in my eyes, is their loss and fundamentally my going to Turkey worked in my favour because it allowed me to experience just what qualities I have and exposed the negative elements of those people’s characters.
I still maintain my belief that Turkish girls are compulsive liars, sure not 100%, but considering this topic is about ‘Turkish girls’ (and therefore is a generalisation and thus a subjective topic (would it also be a generalisation to say “all Turkish girls are great!”)) and considering what you have confirmed as to the reasons behind why they lie and in light of my discussion about Turkey being unique in geography, culture, society, politics, history etc provides excellent insight into the causes of the lying.
I do believe my points are balanced. If I hadn’t been to Turkey and had made my mind up then of course my opinions would not of course be balanced, yet I have been and have enough dialogue with Turks both in past, present and uture to place me in a great position to be able to discuss the issues.
Again, thanks for your insight, it’s proving to be a very interesting progressive discussion.
“Once again – How can I be ignorant if I gave those people the ‘opportunity’’ to prove my hypothesis of them to be incorrect as it would have been unethical and un-empathetic to place my value judgements as a non-turk onto them as being the way they see the world.”
First of all, where did this “hypothesis” of them being bad people originally come from? Was this a prejudice you already had before you went to Turkey? And why do THOSE PEOPLE need an “opportunity” given specifically by YOU to prove your (already-acquired) hypothesis wrong? Is it the essence of their existence for you? To prove you wrong, surprise you as a bunch of aliens? What kind of a viewpoint is this? Why do the people in the ORIENT always need to prove themselves to the HONEST PEOPLE OF THE FIRST WORLD? And can’t you make the same criticism about the hypocrysy and the blasphemy in Europe, USA or any other part of the world and the mischiefs in their system that emerge in different forms? Are “those people” inferior from the beginning just because they were born as members of the Turkish system? It is indeed very very very disturbing for me to hear the word “lying” as CENTRAL to Turkish behavior! You must be joking, really.
I did not deny your experiences, nor did I say you should also deny them: I just said, it is a poor approach to generalize everything according to your own experiences or according to the two books about a geographical area in THE EAST that you have read by only one author.
Try reading Bernard Lewis, just for a change.
As for the system, I must agree with you in the sense that we are stuck between the secular Kemalism and the Islamic tradition. This causes a certain sense of blasphemy but you cannot blame the women that have to survive under such suppressive conditions, and especially Turkish women for “having to lie to their parents” in order to lead the life they actually desire to live, after seeing that style of life idealized everywhere in the capitalist system, while on the other hand, being oppressed by their fathers, mothers, brothers and everyone. I mean if such lies are the consequence of a social structure, then there is noone to blame because of doing that! I’m quite surprised that you cannot grasp that very core idea!
There are honor killings in some parts of Turkey, recently a “LIAR (AS YOU SAY)” Turkish girl was buried alive by her parents just because she talked to one of his male friends. I mean, from time to time lying is just a detail in the “survival” of an average Turkish girl. And things being thus, it is just unfair to label Turkish girls as “liars”. Way too unfair to be pronounced by a “former Turkish lover”.
Dear Deniz Bacım,
You should also bear these in mind as a Turkish girl, before justifying such “dandyism”.
The Turkish girl that was buried alive was Kurdish origin. They are the ones who practice honor k___ing!
In the western world, husbands, wives k_ll each other for life insurance. In the western world, mothers kill their children in the most horrifying ways and justify it with a couple of bought psychiatrists by using excuses such as “postpartum depression”, “insanity” defense. You don’t have those things in Turkey. You have websites that encourage affairs…just a few examples:
so before you dare criticize some other culture, country, take a look at yourself first!
I do not like western culture that encourages that behavior. I think many in the west there are many loyal to their partners and many are not. I think part of the reason is the media portrays it as OK. It is not OK to betray your husband or wife. I agree. And many people make excuses and justifications and rationalizations that you can have love on the side. That is hopeless.
Dear Damla,
You are unnecessarily representing a very nationalistic approach in this subject. I would never adopt such method of sorting out the girls living in Turkey as Kurdish and Turkish when mentioning about their common fate and consequences. I refer to all female Turkish citizens as Turkish girls while I am speaking about it, and I should also stress that my approach is not a nationalist one; plus, there are honor k___ling also in the Western part of the country if you consider the statistics, which could be considered as resulting indirectly from the Islamic way of life and ignorance and poverty, you cannot just attribute a group of criminal cases to a whole group living in Turkey. That is just wrong.
Personally, I am not talking about the origins of people here, and this is actually what I am against: that meaningless generalization and categorizing of people according to their region and national identity. Equally, I never can say that the people of the West are all mean or cynical, but in class societies, which exist in a variety of degrees all countries across the world, corruption can be observed from time to time.
Gamsiz:
Perhaps you have not readand understood what I have written to provide you with the context behind why I went back to Turkey to essentially prove my hypothesis right/wrong.
You suggest that my hypothesis was preexisting but this is incorrect. My point is that I had already been to Turkey and had Turkish friends since 2003 but their behaviour was such that I could only really come to my own conclusions. For instance, one person I knew lied about having cancer to prevent me from going to Istanbul as per our prearrangement – she did not want me to go because it was obvious that she had a boyfriend, but instead of being honest with me and admitting it, she preferred to lie. When I was in Istanbul she also lied about her grandmother being seriously ill, again to prevent meeting me – yet while I was in Cavahir I actually saw her, when she was supposed to be on the Asian side of Turkey where her grandmother was ‘dying’. My other ‘friends’ also lied to me for a number of years and used me which meant that I could only really come to my own conclusions…
…however like I have said many times but you keep missing it I JUDGED THEIR BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS ME IN LINE WITH MY OWN VALUE JUDGEMENTS (as you have said, but confused the context), THE PURPOSE OF MY GOING BACK WAS TO ASCERTAIN IF I WAS CORRECT ABOUT THEM BY BEING AROUND THEM, IN THEIR CULTURAL AND VALUE ENVIRONMENT IN ORDER TO >>>>>>PROVE ME WRONG<<<<<< YET THEY PROVED MY HYPOTHESES TO BE CORRECT. Do you not understand Gamsiz, I was not going there to do anything else but ALLOW THEM TO PROVE ME WRONG AND NOT PROVE ME RIGHT. The difference is this: Had I gone to prove myself right, it would have been a negative behaviour, and I would have been judgeing them precisely by my western values. On the other hand, what I actually did, was to conduct positive behaviour, by allowing them to prove my hypotheses to be INCORRECT. Can you not understand this and can you not understand the difference?
You have totally misunderstood, non-Western people are not there to prove western people to be correct…rather us western people have the ability to critically analyse behaviour and have such open minds to undertake positive behaviour. Fundamentally my behaviour was positive because had I judged them in line with my wetsren values and NOT have gone back then I would be guilty of placing pre-existing values onto them…BUT I DID NOT DO THIS!!!!!!
As it turned out, my hypotheses were correct, they proved themselves to be liars despite me giving them every opportunity to discount my hypotheses – their behaviour as I keep saying merely reinforced ideas in my head that lying, deceit, deception, falsification etc etc etc are key elements in Turkish society and in all fairness you cannot really say I am 'wrong' about this because this was my true experience and my experience of Turks, Turkey and Turkishness in this instance lasted for half a decade, and in all of this time the Turks, Turkey and Turkishness I experienced merely worked to build up my current opinions. No-one else is to blame but those people, no matter what you say, you cannot deny the experience.
and Damla:
Please provide evidence for your statement about western people killing each other for insurance. I understand that in western society there are murders for insurance payouts, and there may well be a 'compulsion' to assisted suicide for inheritance purposes in the future in the UK 'if' assisted suicide becomes legal – to my upbringing this is of course ethically wrong. But do not be under the impression that psychiatrists can be 'bought' because if you understood how the academic and professional system worked in the UK you would realise that if a professional such as thosethat you claim can be bought are caught their careers will end…it is simply not the case that bribery in this manner can take place in such numbers as your statement suggests.
I for one do not deny these incidents exist, but it's a massive generalisation because the difference between honour killings in Turkey (admittedly predominantly amongst conservative Kurdish communities such as the Sufis)and insurance payout murder and baby killings is quantifiable. In Turkish society there is a large islamic conservative tradition whereby less educated elements of society interpret the Koran in a way that allows them to believe honour killings to be acceptable in terms of protecting the family name etc. In the UK, we have a totally different social structure, a different society, culture, class system and lifestyle. Some of the reasons behind why babies are murdered are the very same reasons that rarely exist in Turkey due to the specific cultural and societal system, so a comparison is almost pointless. I for one know a Turkish girl in London, not Kurdish, whose parents committed suicide 2 weeks after her birth because they wanted a son – leaving her to be brought up by her 78 year old grandmother. This itself is an example of Turkish cruelty to children. There are incidents of the murder of babies in western society of course, but just because we do not have such close knit family units as there are in Turkey does not mean we randomly kill family members for insurance (not many people can even afford life insurance if you care to investigatethat issue seperately) and nor are there regular incidents of baby murders with the protagonists simply 'buying' professionals to deemthem as depressed or clinically insane.
…you do realise that the people most likley to kill their babies are the ones least likely to be able to afford to 'buy' (even if they could, and they can't!) professional expertise.
Your argument is simply a fallacy born out of anti- western propaganda that I have seen first hand in Turkey on many occasions.
Former Turk Lover,
I regret that your experiences with a bunch of liars resulted in your becoming as racist as to say “This is an example of Turkish cruelty towards babies”. This is very upsetting because killing babies are cases that could as well be observed as the NATURAL CONSEQUENCE OF A SOCIAL BLAST WHICH EMERGED ESPECIALLY AFTER THE MILITARY COUP in 1980, and cannot be associated under any circumstances with Turkishness or Turkish cruelty and also can be seen in any other part of the world. You should not deny the existence of the majority living in Turkey who are very upset about such cases. Your value judgment about the assumption that lying is a bad behavior is an assumption that is also dominant in Turkish culture and what is taught us by our parents. So, your personal value judgment does not make you special, or it also does not make a whole society of liars out of us because of your social misfortunes with the people you met.
Consequently, if I were you, I would not share such experiences here, especially by attributing these to Turkish Republican system or the existence of Turkish people; because your experiences are indeed irrelevant to the entireity of Turkish girls, to the subject of this page etc. I am not obliged to leave you a reply here, but the people who are now read this should note that this is not anything to be generalized.
Besides, I have no problem in apprehending your intention and the irritated and belittling tone you are using when mentioning about Turks and justifying your tone with your experience. This is disturbing and that is all I can say about my EXPERIENCE with you here. And you cannot deny this experience too. According to my experience, I got the impression that consequently, you have turned out to be a racist.
And, to conclude, if we are talking about our personal experiences that are already subjective enough, (but can never be denied as you say) I would assert that my subjective experiences with Turkish girls around me so far can be regarded as more reliable since I have been living in Turkey for 26 years, have met girls from all across Turkey and have been observing things for a longer period than you did and also have been abroad and met people from all over the world and made my comparison as well. I’ve been watching Turkish TVs, reading Turkish newspapers and meeting new people here everyday… And I can assure you that first your method of criticism and then your idea is not the correct one when it comes to Turkish society. And you cannot be regarded as an objective non-Turk who can make independent observations since the things you have experienced are very personal such as “that girl said this but did this, that woman spat on my face” and you cannot, I admit, remain objective when you encounter with such things. I warn my friends from abroad before they come to Turkey as “watch your purse, or do not go to Xmas celebrations in Turkey without a well-built male friend of yours”; this is for precaution because we are a mixed society and anything can happen. There is no guarantee and this is my self criticism. I actually wonder about what yours could be, or are you just the perfect person bullied by a very large group of bad people for half “a decade”?
Gamsiz, you totally missed the point about my illustration of a point referring to the painting at the Anit Kabir which dealt with the issue of the painting of ANZACs bayoneting babies on the cliffs of Gallipoli. It is quite interesting how you skirted around this subject to turn it into something else. The fact of the matter is, as I keep saying, the to many Turks this painting represents FACT – yet very few people question the painting by saying “Why would there be babies on the cliffs?”
Gamsiz, if I was ra*ist, why then do I still have Turkish friends, why did I go to Turkey (and no doubt go to other countries)? If I was a racist Gamsiz I would have made my mind up about those people without deeming it necessary to actually be in their company (as many of the Turks I met openly ‘hat*d’ Jewish, ‘hat*d’ American and Western Imperialists’ etc). Surely dialogue isn’t constituted as racism. Perhaps you would prefer that non-Turks take the Turkish Nationalistic line on issues and just do not talk about them in order to resolve them, well I’m afraid to say that this is not the case.
As for my quote “this is an example of Turkish cruelty toward babies”, well I am totally correct. If the perpetrator of the crime was a Turk and the crime was against a baby, then yes, it is an example of Turkish cruelty against babies, just as the Baby P case in England 18 months ago was an example of British cruelty towards a baby, as the murderers were British!
I do find it funny Gamsiz how you and your fellow Turks find it essential to quote state propaganda as being your own personal opinion in capital letters as if it makes ther point more valid. If it is your personal opinion then perhaps you could describe what a ‘social blast’ actually is, because I’m perplexed.
No one said my value judgements made me special, rather the lack of values displayed by the majority of people i met in Turkey (Turkish people as ambassadors for their country) and through their consistently poor behaviour to me I believe is representative of a society and culture that posseses lower standards than the values I have grown up to live by. It is a shame that Nationalism (which you Turks cannot differentiate with Patriotism) has clouded your perception to such an extent that you absolutely cannot comprehend any other viewpoint than your own.
In my country, if I or my friends andfamily see a native British person behaving poorly towards a foreign person (a guest) then we do our best to step in and prevent that bad treatment as after all, when we have guests then this makes us as native people ambassadors for our country so that those guests can pass on positivity regarding their experiences to their friends and family and therefore promote cross cultural understanding and knowledge exchange. In Turkey it does not work like this. In my experiences (which as you say are subjective but in reality they are objective because I went to Turkey with an objective of having an open mind and taking in the society and culture). When I told my friends outthere of the poor treatment towards me they initially apologised but then, ironically, decided to treat me poorly. This happened daily, they were not ‘occasional’ events, but daily regular incidents, across a broad spectrum of society, taksi drivers, shop keepers, bus drivers, pedestrians, policmen, coach passengers, hotel owners, university students, university graduates, the list is endless. Unlike in some countries where these people would not usually share the same upbringing to a certain level, in Turkey there is one thing that unites all of these people despite their obvious class divisions, professions, interests etc … that shared experience is the unique for of Turkish Nationalism as manifest by state run media (interesting how you say you have listened to state TV, state newspapers and state radio for 26 years, no wonder you’re a fully signed up member of the Cult of Kemalist Indoctrination). And, as I keep saying but you keep skirting around the issue, the unique position Turkey is in, geographically, socially, culturally, politically, genocide denially, racially etc results in this type of behaviour as experienced by myself.
You say my experiences are irrelevent to the entirity of Turkish girl – hold on a minute Gamsiz, the topic here is Turkish girls, I am talking about my experiences at the hands of (primarily) Turkish girls and am passing on my knowledge of why they behave like that. It is quite interesting how you are oblivious to the fact that everything |I am saying is actually 100% relevant – but then again your education system doesn’t produce critical thinking, rather just followers of cultish behaviour – and it is even more interesting how what you are essentially doing is ‘blaming the victim’ of disgraceful behaviour, because of yes, Turks can never be wrong, Turks can never behave poorly, rather it is the rest of the world that is wrong – because remember Gamsiz, Nationalism says “Turkey is the most important country, Turkey is the most important place, Turkishness is the most important perspective, the Turkish political system is the best and so on”…where else have we seen Turks blaming the victim, ah yes, Turkey still blames the Armenians for the Armenian gen0c*de – in fact Turkey has gone to such extreme lengths to portray the victims of the genocide that they have made it illegal for Turks to admit that the geno*ide happened (Article 331 of the Turkish Penal Code).
Oh dear Gamsiz, intellectually I am running rings around you and in the perfect illustration of Turkish denial you have no way of replying other than turning the blame around onto me…just like the way you have been indoctrinated to do by the process of Kemalism in light of the Armenian genocide…which of course is a lie…or is it a Turkish lie or an Armenian lie? Perhaps the best way to make sure a lie becomes truth is to ban the discussion of the topic (Article 331) and for anyone who does raise the issue for members of the Nationalist movement to kill those ‘enemies’ of the great lie, such as Hrant Dink in Sisli…remember?
If you’re so disturbed, then maybe you should read what I am writing as constructive criticism, rather than racism. You Turks must raise your standards and accept that the way you are, the last 80 or so years of Kemalist Cultism may actually be incorrect and you may have to accept that there are big problems in Turkey as I have illustarted…
…but then again, it’s easier to deny isn’t it? It’s easier to smokescreen issues with lies, that is, until a society cannot remember what lies have been said before and there are contradictions in a society (Nationalism v Patriotism, Article 331, genocide denial etc etc etc).
My self criticism = I should have been more rac*st. I should have said to myself “these people are treating me so poorly that the reality is these people are not in fact my friends, just people using me and manipulating me”. I should have said “My values all point to these people being extremely cruel to me”. I should have never gone back to Turkey. I should have said “The way they are acting is the same as people act in England when they are being cruel and exploitative so there’s no point me going back”…
…it’s just a shame I don’t value others according to my values and a shame, for your argument, that I am not a rac*st.
If you are so
My grandma is from leningrad, and although i haven’t seen Russia i have many Russian friends from Istanbul. I want to compare Russian and new generation Turkish girls, which are completely different. Turkish girls think that they are the most beautiful girl in world(but they are not) and they are arrogant mostly. you probably think that they are not having s** with people before marriage, but they do! so the only difference between turkish and russian girls are beauty. Turkish girls use make up so much but they are not beautiful at all. When i go to very common Turkish mall i see many turkish girls and among 500 girls I can see only 5 beautiful. but russian girls are really beautiful and more kind. i really don’t advice to marry or get relationship with Turkish girls! I think marrying with a Turkish girl would be the worst thing for you… escape from them!
Former Turk Lover,
I think you mean the article 301 of Turkish Penal Code, which I have also once appended a signature against, in a campaign. I did not say I deny the Armenian Genocide before in any of my statements here, I have also appended a signature in the I Appologize Campaign towards the Armenians and also walked in the protest march on the anniversary of Hrant Dink’s assasination, about which I am much sorry. And how can you have the right to make a conclusion about me and my political stand this way and claim that you are intellectually superior
while you cponfuse the article 301 with 331?
Your interpretation of the side I take is totally wrong and is another sign of how you classify Turkish people into “the ones who deny and the ones who do not deny”. You do not know me, so you have no right to label me saying people like you do this and do that in Turkey. I am not a restless believer of Kemalism and often criticize some of Mustafa Kemal’s deeds in his efforts of creating a nation state to sweep away the 7-century long Ottoman social heresy and the Islamic non-secular state order, according to his own. The state crimes in Dersim and the bombings by Sabiha Gökçen are the examples given. And I do not justify the nation state structure by saying rac**m is everywhere around the world. Also I reckon there are lots of wrongful practices in Turkish Republican history especially in the education system such as the bans on the teaching of languages and other religions and imposing the cult of Kemalism instead. And I have experienced this education system in practise thoughout my entire education in Turkey, so I presume I have the first-hand knowledge about that. But things are much more complicated than you think. My argument is this: “You cannot expect most of people to question their system when they are so much surrounded by it. It is not simply about Turkish people, what I mean is, this is typical in all nation-states. Take a Turk and educate him on another cult, let’s say, radical Islam for 15 years and you may see him later on bombing the American Embassy. This is how ideology works. A milder type of this is what has been done in Turkey for the past three decades in some private schools, some which are also legitimized as Imam Hatip Schools; as a move against secularism, although a minority of the people are affected from this. Personally I support the secularist part of Kemalist thought, which was the most correct thing to have been done at the time of Atatürk. This is part of my feminist approach in the ideological structure and the role of Islam in Turkey. It should be kept as distant from Turkish women as possible as a religious practice.
With social blast I mean the degeneration resulting out of corruption in society, in its universal sense and this has examples everywhere. You seem to be forgetting about the Victorian Era, the time of William Blake and Charles Dickens in England, or as worse examples in today’s Afghanistan or Sudan or some places where women are circumsized. Should we belittle the people with good will and conscience who are trying to exist in such societies and such Hard Times? This is what I mean to say about the Turkish Girls subject, that the wrongful generalization that you insist on making, which you also have done about me in your latest post.
And patriotism is another stu*id ideology. Also, I can claim, according to some independent British films I have seen, there is quite a lot rac*sm in England. You should start your self-criticism from that side, instead of saying I should have been rac*st againts Turks. Although it is a good thing to see some nice British guys doing that, such as Ken Loach and Amma Asante (in A Way of Life).
I never turned the blame onto you. There is a misunderstanding here. I only reminded you of your mistaken method of criticizing, and it cannot be read as constructive when you keep on saying “you Turks should not lie, you should treat people this way, or you should raise your standards and should not deny or lying is central to Turkish culture” since this is not actually your problem and it is as easy to label a group of people according to their nationality, as it is to “deny”. We, Turks are already dealing with such issues and although a minority, people continue talking about these things, don’t worry about that, if that is your mere concern. But I presume, according to the impression I have acquired, your mere concern is not something like this, since you can suddenly associate my objections with my being a Kemalist-cult-nationalist who denies everything.
I never deny the injustices that have been made to the people from other nations here on this land. And you have no right to say that I have done that, if you read my posts, there is no trace of this. I did not say we are perfect, I said, it is a much more complicated social structure than you think with your limited knowledge of Turkey.
You are totally indifferent to the discrimination that Turkish girls face thoughout their life in a patriarchal Islamic society, and the danger they face because of the “rule of chastity” that is imposed on them; but instead, you say it is because of the character of an entire society and especially the women of that society. That is where you are mistaken and you do not understand that. And you will never understand unless you ever try to understand how hard a woman tries to survive in an Islamic society as being always considered inferior to men.
You are welcome to Turkey again, I’ll inform you when we have raised our standards according to your wish.
Dear Half-Turkish Russian Guy,
Feel free to escape from Turkish girls, and think about the possibility that out of 500, only five or a less number of them would find you handsome. I’ll also warn all Turkish girls around me to stop making efforts for getting married to you. Don’t worry about that.
I write this to Lioness, former Turk lover, and Gamesiz and the rest. Gamesiz needs to chill out and so does Damla. Former Turk lover has got a broken heart because of this love affair and he is trying to make sense of his trauma. Gamesiz has an inferiority complex and a chip on his shoulder. Turk lover is not out to get “oriental” people. Turkish identity or nationality doesn’t need defenders or apologists. Turkey is a nation, not an ethnic group. Turks are not the grandchildren of Genghiz Khan but the modern residents of “Turkish Anatolia.” Former Turk lover and some of his conversationalist are right on the mark when they admit that lying is a common tactic of daily survival among salesmen, dealers, girls, and quick lovers everywhere in Turkey, especially. Is Turkey exceptional for its scoundrel liars and pushers? In some ways, Istanbul is exceptional for its pack of lying scoundrels. Paris and New York and Moscow and Shanghai have their share of liars, also. What seems strange to outsiders is the hypocrisy of the schizo nature of such a place, religious and very licentious and hedonistic. Most city have such contrast, however.
What is sick about Turkey is the way that the country peasants along with the national citizens and especially the government lives in such a state of denial about their incompetent way of dealing with the religion abuse of “Turkish” “moslems” against their non-Turkish Christian, Armenian neighbors or Shiite neighbors – or neighbors of any other groups such as Greek Orthodox. The Turkish government and its scoundrel lackeys have abused and failed to do justice to its Armenian Christians or its Greek Christians – and it ought to be ashamed of its record and act like a nation of secular law and order, not a nation of punks.
I went very wrong, I saw the comments really nice girl .. Russian girls have a friend with the above comparison. rus girls girls motley pale-skinned, but Turkey and they are not descendants of the Mongol khan cengiz turkler are. come before it knows
I back up FTL’s reasoning, and find it fascinating but all-to-familiar to read replies that say pretty much the same thing as his posts with “Turkey is the greatest” tacked on to show how he is wrong to say what he does.
Nationalism/Indoctrination in Turkey is an incredible danger. My cousin who has never left Istanbul and the Med coast is so full of himself that he utterly fails to recognise his lack of understanding about the rest of the world outside of what he’s been spoon fed by the state. Echoes of that here. To an outsider (and to well-travelled insiders still capable of reason and introspection) the self-deception fundamental to Turkish culture/politics/society is impossible to ignore. Lying to your older brother about your s_x life is a simple matter compared to propping up an entire belief system.
Turkish girls are friendly and fun, like girls everywhere. I wouldn’t trade mine for anything.
Negative cliches about Turkish girls are one of the biggest boggie mans out there. You might here this or that about Turkish girls being bad but the reality is, one a one to one level they are very sweet and are for sure marriage material if you find the right one.
On the matter of gruesome murders…rapes…crimes..USA is no.1 and so are the other so called Develped countries..UK…Ireland etc…
So yes please do look into your own culture and countries before pointing fingers at how some1 cheated you…honestly man…
I am a Pakistani man and in my 22 years of walking the earth…i have come accross many women…Turkish women definitely are beautiful…maybe not as religious as other muslim women…but that depends on the guy…
There are decent and evil people in every culture and country…your integrity is tested when you are given a choice of whether you go for the first or second class of people…
And Turkish culture is quiet alike the Pakistani one…i may just try for a Turkish girl…who knows…
In USA our crimes are concentrated into small ethnic ghettoes. In places like Pakistan the crimes, such as terrorism, or widespread, unpredictable and sporatic. There is no place on earth that is safe, but most of USA is quite safe. I always like it when people who never been to a country tell me how unsafe where I live is.
I have been to West Africa and I will tell you every day you hope to live between the mosquitoes (malaria), car accidents and bands of thieves they wander the remote areas or inner cities.
Hi Former Turkish Lover
I am %90 agree with your comments that you posted on 6th feb as a Turkish guy. Our people have a lack of integrity and honesty against their own community,but we are much better than all islamic countries and even some countries in europe continent.
I am a Turkish girl who left Turkey for good.
Turkish men neither appreciates nor respects Turkish women, I found happiness with my English husband and been living in UK since 2008, not going back.
Turkish girls are:
.Honest: They are not the kind to cruise from one man to another or cheat.
.Dedicated: They are good mums, housewives, daughter-in-laws
.Delicate: You don’t see drunken and loud Turkish girls out. If they are on the chubby side, they dress accordingly. There are not fat girls squeezed into tight skirts unlike some western countries
.Pretty: High street shops do not even sell above size 12 (EU 42) because there is no need. They also have very small feet compared to other countries
.Classy: They do not overkill makeup like Arabic countries, Lebanese or Iranian women are famous for their tranny makeup! Foundation is a rare make up to use, as much as fake nails or lashes. We don’t need them
.Respectful: I am from west-end of Turkey yet I treat David’s family like royals. I cook for them, remember their important days, throw out a five-star accommodation when they stay over.
I will not raise our future children in Turkey, especially if it is a daughter. Turkish men are sleazy, ignorant and unpleasant towards women. They should stick to their russian brides and f** off to Russia, leaving decent men (very few) alone.
Thank you for the comment.
When I was in Turkey I found the women to be very educated and interested in the world.
I married from across the seas also and I am very happy. I am a big believer in you do not have to marry the girl or guy next door.
Hi to all. Regarding the subject it is just about the ways of living and is very hard to change(An eastern can never feel better in western culture (although there is more freedom in all respects of life)and western can’t even survive in the eastern culture ( but exceptions are there )SO it is all about culture. I had a Turkish girl friend two years back, she was so nice, gentle, loving, caring yes a bit jealous but over all she was perfect and i wish to merry a Turkish girl as they are sincere to their families.
David’s Wife.. You sound like an awesome woman and David sounds like a very blessed man. From what you say , it sounds like a trip to Turkiye would be in my best interest
I think what you are saying sounds honest. I hear western girls who take trips to Turkiye have quite a time when it comes to overcoming the very flirtatious and overzealous men looking to betroth them.. LOL
I find many Turkish women to be quite beautiful. Perhaps the fact that Turkiye is not so fanatical like Arabic countries, means that you can actually get away with marrying a Turkish woman and not being a muslim. I assume by the name, David, he is not a Muslim, am I correct?
Thanks for sharing your story, David’s wife.
Former Turk Lover should change his name to Former Jaded Lover.
David’s wife – I agree with all your comments except one:
.Classy: They do not overk_ll makeup like Arabic countries, Lebanese or Iranian women are famous for their tyranny makeup! Foundation is a rare make up to use, as much as fake nails or lashes. We don’t need them.
I see many Turkish women totally ‘dolled up’ and with an overk_ll of makeup, including foundation. I live in a very affluent area of Istanbul and there are many women like this here. I also often wonder just how many women have fake hair. There’s so many wig/hair extension shops in Beyoglu that there’s obviously a huge market for it.
For the record, I’m British and I have a Turkish girlfriend. Her and her friends, and many Turkish people that I’ve met are nothing like what Former Turk Lover describes.
“There is no place on earth that is safe, but most of USA is quite safe.” This is the best joke I ever heard (after the come of course)in my whole life and I’m 34 years old
)) You should do stand up show man 
)
Why do you disagree? State facts not sarcasm.
David’s wife…..
women turkish or not have their good and bad sides..
try to look for turkish women outside your country..i have my turkish bf but i never get angry to any women..but there were times when we went out with turkish women..you cant imagine how they tried to seduce my bf even in front of me..everyone can see everything from the swimsuit they’re wearing…the thing i hate most…my bf told them that he’s going to marry me…but still flirting and said..still you are free..the nerve..they’re muslims but never act as one…i’ve high respect for muslims but got this time got a bit disappointed..
my point is we can never really tell who’s who..it depends on the person to know if this woman is the best for him or not….
Celine your are so right about woman in general, no one can pin point or generalize the issue.
well celine your english is so bad i guess you are the “turkish boyfriend” over here so..
i dont believe this “turkish man” you talk of is worth anything either,”real hot” turkish men who are chased by turkish women like rockstars as you describe don’t bother marrying overseas people out of desperation. To white women, hot turkish guy means : short-ish, very hairy, bad hairdo, break dancers at 3rd class pubs of turkish beaches. turkish girls automatically cross this type out as these men are “kurds” from iraqi border who not only does not have a clue about the world i.e how to wash your hands after toilet but also never respects women.
when i was at Home, i worked at a travel agency with british women, when my friends and them went out at night, the turkish boys who were suppose to accompany these girls ended up asking for our phone numbers and of course we said “no” . I bet, if any of the britons asked the boys what the fuss was about, they would say “these girls asked for our numbers” if you know what i mean.
my recommendation to you is “learn turkish” , if you want to survive that relationship in turkey as it is a bonus to any turkish husband that his wife doesnt have a clue what is going on =)
@ Fruko: So great that a british man adapted a turkish soda brand as the username, maybe you are a turk bearing a UK passort, anyway, beyoglu is the only place you would see hollywood wannabes as i lived in istanbul, antalya, marmaris, mersin, izmir and been to Black Sea but never EVER saw girl with fake hair, fake tan or nails. well, if you count hair dye as fake hair that is.
I have lived and worked here for 8+ years in a diplomatic delegation. Premarital dating is prohibited by Islamic law and if you are not Muslim then the family of your bride will sooner or later convince her to leave you.
Your bride will be considered a whore for marrying a non Islamic foreigner openly by uneducated people and behind your back by the educated ones.
Once you marry one they will use you for money and have you help them move to your country.
Foreigners are treated very well here. Turkish people are friendly and super nice but they don’t want you to marry their women. Turkish girls want financial security and children. These people are stuck between modern or Western culture and the stone age.
Most foreigners here that “hook up” are with the wrong mate.
Uneducated people here marry at around 20-23. Educated Turks marry after college. Love? Well if you marry an educated Turkish woman you will usually not have a problem with her family. Educated Turkish women speak on average 2-5 languages fluently and the real super smart ones get out of Turkey ASAP. S_x? Well if I had to grade them then I’d give most an “F”.
If you decide to marry any of them take a real close look at their mother. That is what you will end up with in 20 years. Also this is a culture that lying is a national trait. If you find anyone here that is honest then you are lucky. It is nearly impossible. But the honest ones will always protect you because you are considered a family member. They only give you one chance and if you betray them you are done and they will block you in business and life.
Politicians here talk all day in chamber and it is televised. They do nothing. There is no government here. It is the wild west. When I first came here it took all my might to keep from trying to understand these people. I have given up on most of them. It is not worth my time.
If you have to come to a foreign county to find a girl then you have a problem.
Turkish girls love the dumbest idiot to death. They will marry them and have more idiots. The “boyfriend” or husband will go to the local brothel to have real sex.
The food here sucks and it is usually made by people that are unsanitary.
Luckily I can go to my Embassy commissary for real food.
There is no government.
There is no heath inspector.
There are no veterinarians.
Do not try to figure them out. You will lose your mind!
This is rubbish. what poverty? Turkey is not a third world country goodness sake. Don’t write nonsense before you know what you are saying and knowing how true is that information!!! Turkish girls like foreign men because of the same reason why English girls like foreign men, it’s the mystery which makes it more exciting.
To Grant H
I am not going to waste much time on trying to answer the every point you made but you need to know that you are not right and it sounds like you have personal issues with some Turkish people!!! Things you wrote here are unreal especially about the food, i don’t know where the hell are you from? but it should be one of the countries who only eat boiled horrible vegetables meat and patatoe, so our flavoursome food might be too rich for your plain taste!! unsanitary, sweetheart there is unsanitary places everywhere in the world, if you are so tight about money and look for the cheapest place to eat that is where you would end up!! Turkish girls, god you are an idiot if you can resist their motherly attraction, they are witty, clever and mostly honest!! you are just embarrassing yourself man, just chilax!!!
Which stupid guy is saying that they love foreign men? Get off Turkish girls like their men, because only Turkish men can understand them. Not a Western guy for sure.
Turkish women are certainly classy and graceful. Motherly and wonderfully feminine and sensual and of course have shortcomings like all people.I find their company often refreshing and a relief from North American woman and mentality. I love their mentality and dated one.
I love Turkish culture and Turkish people but I have found that Turkish women have a particular affinity for my African American husband. There have been emails inviting him to lunch (sans spouse) and inappropriate advances in my presence. I found this behavior shocking especially coming from the educated women that we have come in contact with-one of them was a doctor and others have been university teachers and students. There seems to be a slight perpetuation of a “Harem” mentality in which women hope that they will be preferred over other women. On the other hand, I have made some of the strongest friendships of my life with Turkish women, particularly among my married Turkish colleagues and acquaintances. I have been told by my Turkish girlfriends that it is terribly inappropriate for a woman to express feelings such as “I miss you” and “can’t wait to see you” with married Turkish men but when it comes to my husband all boundaries seem to be weakened.
I’m not hot on Turkish girls.
All the negatives are there.
I prefer hot willing American blondes.
Serious.
I’m too independent.
I don’t need a foreigner mothering me.
I live and work in Istanbul.
I have tons of female friends but never go for any
games with them
I’ve lost a few female friends for not going for their advances.
I know what I like.
I’m not looking to use them.
This is why I don’t go there with them.
I’m sure they will all find someone special within their own culture to fulfill their everything.
Most these girls are worth gold but I’ve seen the other side of them over the years with domestic and foreign partners. It’s not worth the drama. So beware.
Here is the thing, you are just in the game to play, not to marry. So if you are a player than American girls as you state are your style. However, I am recommending Turkish girls for marriage. If is not a matter of mothering, it is a matter of when you are working like crazy and trying to live in this world, you want a partner who is there for you. That could include cooking and watching the kids why you are a provider.
Considering that, Turkish girls are not that bad. In fact if I were an expat living in Turkey I would be collecting Turkish girls mobile numbers just in case you ever change you mind about them. I think they have one of the lowest divorce rates, and make very good wives. The one issue is they are a slightly different culture than Americans.
If you are not looking for fun or exoticism get away from Turkish girl. They are a mixture of bad parts of European and Asian girls. It’s not stereotyping. If you fall for a Turkish girl and if she understands you have fallen for her, she will make you useless. She will drain your self-confidence. There are billions of bad parts she have that I can not explain in there. That was a warning about them.
When it comes for fun, a Turkish chick is an easy fish to catch especially for foreign guys. If you are not Arab you can easily get them. Even conservative turkish girls. If you can confuse them, they will proud to be with with a foreign guy. But I warn you again. Never fall in love.
Dear Can,
I have read what you write and it totally satisfied what I think.Everybody should know that being a girl in Turkey is not something very easy because you should obey some rules otherwise you may be called as a bad girl.It may change from time to time but owing to the education style in Turkish families,Turkish girls are more emotional and self sacrificing that’s why they more appropriate for marriage than any other country girls.
Besides, I can’t deny that some Turkish girls seem very oriental (phisically) which is a result of being a country right between the asia and the europe.Thanks to my experiences from abroad I observed that Turkish girls who are university students or graduated far more sophisticated, good looking and fashionable than Europen girls.
And GOD created Turkish Women
Enjoy it…
Turkish girls are all mixed.They have got many roots,not just anatolia.especially anatolian people are ionian,lydian,(western and northern part),hitities(middle part),galatians,urartu(black sea region people),armenian(middle and eastern part)…and also have genes from places european,mid-eastern,asian. So that they have good behaviours.some of people discussing about education;turkish and kurdish girls want study but their father,husband or some of men dont want it.some of see them as slaves(a few men in here like this especially eastern part of here)European type girls you can see western/northern parts.Mid-eastern or mediterreanean type girls you can see also.They care their family,looking feminen.they have different attractions who arent so good-looking.Marriage is a bit difficult so people here havent good ideas for marriage foreign guy.(especially turkish men dont want it:)
and some of turkish guys are discussing here for not getting one of them:)
Leave a reply to Turkish girls