American girls
I am an American and I am married in Europe. I can see objectively that American girls can be beautiful, but for me more like fine art or even a type of horse. That is they have beauty, but I am in no way attracted to American girls. I can see objectively they are beautiful, however, they do not appeal to me in a man woman type of way. I know this sounds hard but it is just the way it is, what can I do. There is not sparkle or magic. What happened? I moved to Europe, that is what happened, actually Eastern Europe and the women I meet here opened my eyes about a few things. Once I started meeting Polish or Russian or Ukrainian girls. I just lost my interest totally in American girls. Again why?
This is a huge generalization, but many, but not all, American girls are materialistic and play games in dating, they have lost their way in terms of what understanding what love is about. In fact the American girls who take love and marriage seriously, are annoyed by the ones who do, that is the ones who take their cues from pop culture, Sex in the City and Cosmo magazine.
The modern American girl often, put career first and marriage and love and family second. I have always believed love is first and career means nothing. Family is everything.
If you are an American guy
Run, do not walk away from the idea that you need to marry the girl next door. The world is full of beautiful women and if you are open minded about other cultures and people, then why not date a beautiful Russian girl who will cook and take care of you and wants to have children? I mean this. Why would I lie. I and many of my friends married girls from other countries and are happy we did. Think about your relationships in America and if they really were a fairy-tale or something that you had to work at? I am sorry I do not have to work at my relationship. It is just peace and harmony.
Please consider that the world is full of opportunities.
I need to put these qualifying statements in here as of course America is a big country, I am just talking about a social trend. There are many good conservative, non feminist American girls, this post is not about these girls. More about the average liberal quasi feminist American girls. American girls often do not respect men in dating and love (maybe the same could be said for American guys, but this is more written for guys looking for a wife).
If you marry an American girl you will have a 60% chance of divorce, a foreign girl less then 20%. American girls do not make great wives for many reasons. I think if I was an American guy, I would consider, Russian girls, Spanish girls, Romanian girls or Japanese girls for a bride.
Where to look for non American girls
- I give you many specific websites on this site where you will find foreign girls for free. These are international mail servers in the girls language. Many girls speak American English but with others you will need to learn a little of the language.
- If you can not use mail servers, try an online dating site.
American girls demand equality but do not play fair
This is the biggest problem. The women from American who demand equality, which I agree with, are the ones themselves who often do not treat men as equal. They are more superficial than guys.
Look at the lame ads American girls put on sites like match.com. They want, but will not say it, a guy who is 6’4″ dark hair, blue eyes, making over 100,000 dollars a year, will cook and clean and play with their cats and accept the fact that they will spend girls night out at bars dancing with other men etc, and still they will not like you.
I am a good looking guy and do well professionally but to an American girl you will never be anything special. My American friends basically conveyed, the same thing. Further, American females focus on their jobs until 35 want some guy to have their kids, after being in love 5 times before. Who wants a lady who has not been able to commit to marriage before they prove themselves in their career. Therefore, American girls are bottom of the barrel relationship wise if you meet a career gal.
I left America and American girls to meet the princess of my dreams and I am living happily ever after. My wife cares more about my spiritual soul, then my money and my job or what I look like. She loves my and I adore her as my princess. If you are an American guy you can have this dream. You can have a princess from a fairy-tale. But I think not in America. Why? American girls are often spoiled, and into their careers rather than family centered. Please comment if you want to know more where to look or if you feel the same about American girls.
85 responses to American girls
You make it sound like a bad thing to be a feminist and actually have a job. It’s GOOD. More women should stand up for their rights, and a man who discourages that doesn’t deserve to be respected by his wife, since he doesn’t respect her.
Also, being a liberal doesn’t make a women a bad person. I personally dissagree with conservative values, but I don’t think conservatives are mean or rude people. Some are, but so are some liberals. You shouldn’t judge people on that.
Liberal girls vs Conservative American girls
Juliet, Being liberal or conservative does not make you a good or bad person. This is a very good point. Many people think because they are liberal (or conservative) they are smarter or more compassionate. Well I meet compassionate liberals and conservatives equally.
I am an American in Eastern Europe. Most women here think feminists are cheating themselves out of their own lives. I live in a culture where men kiss girl’s hand and truly love and want to be with their family and dream of family, not work. And women really think working for some boss is stupid compared to being with your family. They work for some stupid boss only if they have to. I am a guy and I can not think of any greater joy than being with my family. Career is for fools as you can not take it with you when you die, love you can.
Did you see the movie ‘Slum dog millionaire’? Does money, really mean anything? I think to American women career and money is more important than family in many cases.
Man!.
I always thought marrying an American is the best choice EVER!.
Now you truly threw me off.. Can we chat online?. I got a bunch of questions.
Hi Mustafa, We can talk chat here about American girls, ask any questions you like. I am American and I think I am pretty honest about American women. I think many guys from other cultures see American girls as beautiful because of TV and movies or they are exotic as they are different from their own culture, but they are not. American girls can be educated yes, but as wives, no way, they will not bring you peace.
For all the foreign guys out there, the administrator is right-on when talking about American women. Granted there are some good women with good values in America, but a majority are controlling, overweight demanding women. They are not particularly dedicated to their spouse. I have began dating exclusively foreign women and they seem so much more attractive and grounded.
In my personal experience American women do not even come close to South American or European women in terms of beauty and charm. If the American woman does, I would tread carefully as it is simply not in American culture for a woman to want to make her man happy. There are some exceptions of course but generally American women physically and culturally are more like men. Do you wan to date a man? I do not. I prefer tall slim leggy Russian girl with a PhD in literature and dreams of making her husband happy compared to a bossy hyper opinionated materialistic American lady who thinks size 12 is good and does not know how to cook, and thinks this is OK. If you were to be married to an AW who will be cooking for the family?
With AW my friends say they do battle at least once a week if they are in a relationship. Whatever happened to submitting your ego and being loyal in love?
you are right on the money, man.
I am an asian living in United States from the past ten years. I understand what you are talking about, especially better as an outsider.
What do you think is the best way to approach AW for dating and just making friends?
I absolutely agree with you on this article, I am myself am from another country, and dated few American girls. The reality of the situation is that they (majority) lack Cultural understanding, have no realistic perspective on life, are spoiled ADHD and bipolar egoist brats, and will treat a relationship like a RAG!!!! you will NEVER feel that spiritual bond with American girls, they are unloyal and unthankful, I’ve never seen such dull and empty woman in my life. Even the ones that are Educated; have a brain of a spoiled child, not only they contradict themselves, but don’t even admit when they do do harm to you!
If you plan to marry happily and have compassionate and understanding partner stay away from American girls at all costs. Unless you get really lucky, know how to handle them, or want to spend next few years splitting half of your assets in Divorce court.
It is interesting that you are from another country and say this. This is what American guys almost universally say about American women. I know there are wonderful women in the USA, but to find the is next to impossible during the dating phase. The world is full of adventure and is very large and there is no reason you need to play the childish games many American women play.
+1 TO JUST A GUY..
I am an American man and I support and will vouch for everythign that just a guy is saying. American women are belligerent, hot-headed, dominating, lazy, spoiled and DERANGED! To say the least. Yes, most appear to have mental issues, which have probably been manifested through manipulation of their midns at a young age, which hindered proper neurological and spiritual development. Its really ashame, but American women are volatile and not fit for marriage.
Please, my advice is not to keep awawy from American women at all costs. The laws in this country are also very feminist-based. Just look at the feminazis who are being put up in our Supreme Court. This is a bad country to be if you’re a man and if you do get married here, make sure you have some hot shot lawyers who can devise a well planned out prenupital, because you’re going to need it!
I have seen so many American men ruined by women here. Yes, many women here are also single mohters, because many men have lost faith in being good fathers and husband. Instead they feel their only real worth is sexual relations. Of course, the feminazis blame all this on men, but will never take a look at their own participation in any of society’s problems. Its so easy to blame the male gender for all the problems!! Most men cannot stay in a relation with an American woman and escape, even leaving their children behind. If the woman doesn’t rape their spirit, the courts will!
I rather die than let any woman take my chidlren, so I am definately not fit for marrying an American woman.
I’m an American man and have to agree that most American women are not worthy of being wives. That said, I am married to one of the rare good ones. I was lucky. I did everything wrong in the modern American mating dance(paid for dinner every time, Valentine’s purchases, opening doors, etc.). You know, the things that get you disrespected and dumped in the “friends” bin. Fortunately for me, my wife is an anachronism. She actually likes this type of behavior. The vast majority of AW are greedy, self-centered, demanding, non-reflective harpies. Their “needs” even trump that of their own children. This is the reason that they have no problem destroying their own families in order to get what they want. This is the reason that 75% of divorces in the U.S. are initiated by women. They want what they want when they want it and it doesn’t matter who gets hurt in the process. I know because I watched my own mother do it. When AW feel guilty about something they have done, they will find a way to blame someone else. This helps them to alleviate the need to accept responsibility for their own actions. It’s always the man’s fault. Do yourself a favor. Never get involved in a relationship with an AW. It is simply too difficult and dangerous to wade through the 100 square mile sewage tank of American dating life in order to find a tiny diamond. You probably will not be as lucky as me.
Thanks for the comment. I have always said there are many sincere loving American women that could be great in marriage. However, that being said, somehow the culture of my youth, America, changed and my ideals about love and romance and family meet the reality of American women who were hyper consumptive self centered almost anti family. I am very happy that you found your love, I know in America it is harder than most places but it is possible.
I’m assuming you’re from Eastern Europe, because most Western Europeans (like Italy, Germany, Spain, even the more conservative UK) have the opposite opinion of what you think. I admire tough, liberal, outgoing women, and more quiet, reserved, conservative women.
Either way, they’re both kind and respectful! The only difference is one class of women are more outgoing and not as traditional, while the opposite is true! And Spain is a feminist country what are you talking about.
And most feminists in America stand by their man.
You would rather prefer a woman from Russia or Estonia.
What a great article! As an American man, I can personally agree with just about every word of it. Feminism is a joke! The results of it speak for itself. I never did understand why women in this country have to be this way. It’s really sad to put career and job first before your own family. That is just wrong and screwed up in so many ways. Since I do live in this country though, I basically have no choice but to co-exist with AW. I can get along with them, befriend them, and sometimes hang out with them just fine. However, I will NEVER marry one. It would take a miracle from God to send a marriage worthy AW my way. Anyways, my plan is to finish my college education, get a good paying job so I can save money, and then go traveling to experience the different cultures. Eastern Europe is first on my list. I would love to get to know the people and the cultures. One day, I may even emigrate to western Ukraine…who knows?
American women are great as friends and co workers and business partners, but if you are thinking of marrying an American woman for the rest of your life, think hard on this. Think very hard and consider what people have written on this website. Consider that the world is a very large place. It is not about a group of people but a social trend called feminism that has affected society. Some cultures are pro-marriage and family and some are not. Do you want to marry a girl who spoiled and not traditional? I do not. You do not have to spend the rest of your life with the girl next door if she will give you a hard time and want material comfort in a marriage.
Go for a girl that is: not materialistic, will not hassle you, and cooks and loves to take care of her family more than her boss or girls night out with her girlfriends. If you think you can find and American girl like that go for it, but my recommendation is consider girls from all over the world. My friends that married girls from Eastern Europe are all universally glad they did.
My friends that married American women, well they have told me they are waiting for the sweet kiss of death to set them free. Those are not my words. Of course not all American women are like this, but culturally feminist thinking has destroyed a lot of lives.
I agree entirely, in my experience, American women can make amazing friends and co-workers. However, I sincerely doubt I will meet one that can be my wife. Not too long ago, I had to pay a visit to one of the local malls here in Phoenix, AZ because I was shopping for a suit and tie. It was a rather large mall and 95% of the stores are all catered for women. So anyways, the floors are naturally littered with women doing their shopping. It was hard to find a man walking around but I did see this one couple. The man looked like he was around 40ish and he was holding hands with a beautiful Asian girl. For some reason, this combination reminded me of feminism and how messed up it really is. Well admin, it really sucks to hear about your friends that are married to American women and can’t wait for the sweet kiss of death. That is just sad and unfortunate and I wish it didn’t have to be that way for them. I do my best to learn from these instances and make the wisest choice in finding a wife. As it is, my attention is now focused on Eastern Europe and that probably won’t change.
I do not know how you got so wise. Usually guys do not figure this out until it is, to late. I tell people, do not get smart to late. The world is full of opportunity. I am very pro marriage and family and consider idealistic about love. I believe in true love. I just do not think you need to marry someone from your own culture. Find someone that will really turn your world upside down, someone that you can not live without, your other half. Even if they come from the other side of the world.
Well, I didn’t get wise overnight. I am 29 and going to be 30 in a couple of months. After I graduated high school, I joined the U.S. Air Force and served four years of active duty. I was honorably discharged and gained a lot of experience about military life. In my early twenties, I used to go out to the bars and clubs in the U.S. to meet girls. I found it extremely difficult for any of the hot ones to take an interest in me. I started feeling like something was wrong with me because I would always see the girls end up with other guys that would treat them like crap. I never did understand why but I didn’t know any better back then. Now I am in college and more educated about American society, after being exposed to the reality of feminism I finally know the truth. The problem isn’t with me, the problem is with this annoying social trend that has done more harm than good. I guess I am one of the lucky men in America that didn’t end up with a life-sucking AW and I am thankful for it. It seems like almost every married man I have talked to would say things to me like “never get married, it isn’t worth it” or “everything you say to your wife is wrong, she is always right and the only way to avoid an argument is to say yes dear.” When I hear stuff like this I start to think…is this what I have to look forward to in marriage? Are you kidding me?? How on Earth can these wives be so damn selfish!? It is just stuff like this that has made me extremely cautious of women in this country. I will be looking forward to traveling to Eastern Europe for a long time. It will be a breath of fresh air.
I have read some of the articles in this site. I am amazed! What you guys tell me is like a revolution to my mind! I thought I was sic! Mentally ill!! I could not understand why everything always went bad. Now I see… I have been brainwashed by the feminists.
Serious, I am very grateful towards your enlightening about woman truth. I live in Norway, and the article about AW, it is just like Norwegian woman, maybe even worse! We have HUGE problems in kinder garden and school, with ADHD and Autism. The divorce statistics went sky-high and we have growing amounts of homo-marriage. Everything is just really sic! Thank you soooo much for your help to understand, I am not sic, they are!
I would really love to “blog this message out in Norwegian. May I translate some of this (or every) articles? I will off course add link to the original paper.
I would be really happy to receive consent on mail.
If those ladies really treasure family life –like I get my impression of here, they are worth their own weight in gold, at least…
Thanks for the comment Peter. See, girls here that look like runway models tell me all they want is to find the one love of their life. They say they are very domestic and want to take care of their family. In fact I had a student of mind tell me that a few hours ago. The other women around the table were saying they agree, feminism is a bad thing and has hurt many people and relationships. They think being a domestic woman is a positive good thing. These women all have master’s degrees, intellectually curious, love to travel and are knock outs. Why? The culture is different. In the west guys almost believe there is no alternative. Life is hard and either they do not get married or they do get married and are divorced or existing.
I live in Eastern Europe. believe me, girls here thing feminism is a scam by the media. The irony is the attractive girls thing feminism wrong and the less them attractive ones are the ones screaming.
The closest thing I have meet to feminists in Eastern Europe is Femen claritaslux.com/girls/femen/ and they are normal girls looking to help their nation politically not the American girl model.
I think highly of Norway, by they way and I am aware this has spread there. I am very sorry to here that. The good news is the world is full of opportunity.
Hey,
While I have never been to the USA im still aware that you are talking about the “average” American women and can beleive it as this has spread to certian parts of Western Europe too, while it might not be a s bad, it certainly has a degree of “not being family orientated” anymore, how many parents charge thier children rent at 17??…or the children just decide to leave home asasp. Result of a great family life at home?…cant of been that good. This is definatly happening in the UK but has alwys happened in certain Northern European cultures.largely Pretestant, but is also hitting the more traditional countires like Spain….but atleast it has beena able to keep its core culture and isnt Americaniszed, but still its changing.
Anyway, as youve mentioned before, there are many American women that are more traditionl even if they might not know or even be interested in the outside world…as the US is well known to be very insular and not know much about other cultures and alternatives, basically their view is the “right view”. eerrr….not it isnt because this veiw isnt the whole world….im from the UK and have always had the view that the way we think here isnt the whole world…and that this is why western nations have embraced multiculturalism as the way forward..and is now thier culture…which means that we must beleive in everything…whcih basically means that we dont beleive in our own core values anymore….this looks good but it has still kept most western nations very ignorant about the other cultures that have come to stay in thier host nations….
My question is what parts of the USA have nice friendly traditional women??….id imagine small towns??….what states mainly southern?…Texas?…others?…..This might not work for Ameircan men but it seems that American girls love English guys…more than any other foreign guy….to the extent that English guys who dont have much luck with english girls, go to the USA and fell they never want to come back…..but how ultimatly superficial this may be..i dont know…but still it just goes to show you how you can be perceived in another country comepared to your own……
American girls
I agree with lot of what you said Pedro, but USA is no more close in its thinking then many European nations. Actually, many countries around the world copies the culture of the USA. As far as multi-national, no country has any many different nationalities and mixed number of people as the USA. I live in neighborhood, one neighbor is from Ukraine, the other neighbors are Chinese, the other neighbors are white-anglo types. There is Indian HIndu family living behind my house and Arabic muslim family in another.
However, I will say this, except for muslims, most people who live in USA, regardless of race will adapt to the secular, modern and sterilized American culture. This has nothing to do with being isolated or insular. USA, about 100 years ago was a totally different country with a totally different culture. Today, most people are just giving into the modern culture of secularism, consumerism, s_xual liberation, etc. Really, most Americans are identical to people from Western and Northern Europe. I live in a very Nordic/Germanic city, so the German culture here really is prevalent.
Now, you want to know where you can find the most friendly and traditional woman. Well, my advice is to go to Amish country in Pennsylvania. You will find people who are more traditional than anyone you ever met in Europe, I promise you that. However, good luck marrying one of them. These people truly are insular and in order to marry an Amish, you have to be an Amish. Get your straw farmer hat and moustache-less beard ready.
Texas?? You got to be kidding. You planning on marrying some cowgirl from a farm? The girls in texas are wild. If you are coming to USA to find a good , kind and traditional woman you better hope she just arrived off the boat from a country where women are still like this.
This is America. The land of the macho, tough, liberated, business-saavy and independent American woman. American women are vultures and will either be after your wallet or trying to conquer you. Most American women want a man who will submit to them and make them feel superior, intellectually.
American women are married first to their careers, second to their girlfriends, third to their children and fourth to you.
Feminism and bra-burning started in this country and all the other countries followed suit afterwards. Homos_xuality is also common amongst women in USA.. In the city I live, about 30% of the women are homos_xuals. Also, the liberal use of tattoos and facial piercings on women in the USA I find very disgusting. Only in USA can you find a fat girl with dyed hair, hundreds of tattoos and nasty tongue piercing. Well, I guess England has a few of those too. LOL
American girls
Truth be told Yonatan, some of these girls in the US have so many tattoo’s stamped on their bodies that they look like human landscapes..yuck! I live in the Phoenix area of Arizona and this city is infested with tattooed guys and girls. It makes me wonder if there is a tattoo processing plant around here and they come off the assembly line. I’m curious to know which city you come from that you describe as Nordic/German.
Pedro, I would not recommend this country to you or any guy to find a wife. If you want a cool friend that you can watch a game with or work with in a job, then American girls can be good for that. You ask about the friendliest type of girls here? Well you generally find those types in a church but there is a risk that many of them may not be traditional. I once read about a guy who has traveled to all 50 states and he listed his stats on what kind of people inhabit those states. The friendliest he found come from the Dakota’s and Vermont, probably because it is very rural there with small town folk. Don’t even think about Texas, that state has the most arrogant people in this entire country. That’s about all I can say at the moment.
I’m an American woman working on my masters and I have to agree that there is an excellent point to be made here.
Children are raised in such a messed up environment in the majority of the US today. Although I’d miss my family, I’m seriously considering moving elsewhere purely for my children’s benefit once I’m ready to have them.
At my university, there are so many study abroad students and I find that I would much rather have them as friends than many of the sorority/fraternity students. I also tend to notice that quite a few of the international students date other international students, even if they’re not from the same country, rather than an American. This applies for both males and females.
I don’t believe I fall under the US media’s portrayal of the American woman (at least I pray I don’t) but I will admit I do have some of the characteristics (I am American after all). This especially applies to my lack self confidence at times, like most humans.
For one thing, it’s not safe for me just to walk to class by myself here even in broad daylight. Therefore, please don’t blame me for being cautious and suspicious when strange men approach me, especially with the way it’s become appropriate / common for men to treat women like s_x objects. I purposely dress down when going out to avoid this now. Sometimes we adjust the way we act just so we can deal with those sick types of men.
As for finding love overseas, I hear all this about the ladies, but what about European men? I realize now that us American women are seen as lazy, controlling, and greedy man-eaters. I was just curious though for those that are actually looking for a good man, are men across the globe any better? Do you have any opinion on this? Once I save up the money, I plan on finding out. For now though, I’m stuck here . . .
Please know that some of the comments made here, although meant for men who wish to find a good wife, when read by American women are really harsh. Generalizations like these are the reason many women have self confidence issues, believe no men would truly want them, and turn towards feminism. They just want to feel that they are worthwhile and feel good about themselves (even if that motivation goes towards the wrong issue). With that being said, humans (especially Americans and yes, I’m considering both men and women) have come a long way from being civilized and courteous beings.
Sorry for all the generalizations I myself have made and please know that these are purely a few of my own opinions on the subject.
American girls
Plenty of good men in USA.. Perhaps your very high American expectations of men is why you feel you need to run somewhere else. In the case of men, I think it is well deserved that they go overseas, because American women are as bad as you say. Many of them are selfish, dominating, overweight, backstabbing, dishonest and with a 50-60% divorce rate, not very promising to be there in the end.
As far as the perverts and freaky men who approach you, that is like 5% of the male population who does this. THey are more visible, because they are the ones who approach you. Most men in the USA shy away from going up to women and harassing or even flirting with them. These men are known as “Players” and are a certain breed of men. They are trained to behave like this and only represent a minority of the population.
You probably won’t like Eastern European men, because they are more traditional, controlling and have higher expectations of a woman to be a wife and mother rather than being a successful and powerful career woman, which is what most American men want.
There are many loving and caring American men who want a good wife. You know they go overseas as a last resort. Rather than finding a man who will appease you and all your desires, seek out a man who you can make happy and be kind and loving to you. TO consider the man as your king and honor him as that. He will truly honor you as his queen.
Good men are not found in the streets, but rather in churches, synagogues or in a structured environment, such as a group that does humanitarian or charity work. Also, groups that take part in constructive activities also are places where you find more noble men.
Clubs, bars, sports events, the “Players” on the college campus are all bad places to meet noble American guys.
I don’t fit any of those descriptions you mentioned for the typical American woman (although it seems quite a few do), except for being selfish. This doesn’t apply to what others spend on me though. I grew up in a poor environment and am glad I did. I learned to not waste money, time, or resources. Therefore what I’m mainly selfish about is time. I don’t like to waste mine or others.
I’m glad to hear about the 5% thing. Therefore, you must be right about places to meet men, but I just don’t know where to go and I’m not outgoing so approaching men is a difficulty.
Another thing is that I’m not afraid to settle down once I find my “prince” and we decide to make a family. There is no doubt in my mind that my children will be the most important thing in my life. Once they’re older, though, I probably will start working again when it doesn’t interfere with raising my children and helping raise grandchildren. I enjoy helping others and feeling useful through all aspects of my life. Doesn’t everyone? I want to help my husband be the best man that he can be and hope he’ll do the same for me (well best woman . . .).
These posts have got me thinking and probably will influence my actions. Although I knew American women portray many of the points mentioned, I hadn’t realized just how bad they had become in men’s eyes if these comments truly are accurate.
Joy, like I said do not listen to me, this is more for guys to encourage them to look in other places besides the the girl next door in America. I also am not talking about one person all American girls, but rather a culture that is very anti-romantic and very selfish. If you are an American girl and not like that, it does not apply. You seem pretty idealistic. It is very hard to find the person you should be with and the USA has a lot of players and people who do not respect women.
I mean what are you going to do 8 minute dating? Even some of my friends back in the USA that I thought were pretty good, cruise match.com for the girl of the month they want to date. They are not looking for get married to a girl.
I guess it comes back to my main point. For a guy to fall in love and marry a girl and want to have a family with her, she has to be someone really special. Someone to inspire a guy. Not just another average girl. She has to be someone totally different.But the good news is every gal has a chance to make herself this way.
Thanks for the information and sorry. I do realize I am “invading” a post that’s focusing on men trying to find love and therefore makes mostly accurate generalizations. I suppose I just wanted to voice my opinions so that men know not to completely give up on American women.
Hi Joy, you seem like a very intelligent and friendly woman with some good moral standings. Qualities that are, unfortunately, absent in most American men and women. Yonatan actually provides some good examples of places where you would most likely meet a good man. I would also like to add one more suggestion and that is golfing. Strange as that may sound and I don’t golf personally but when you think about it, how many ‘player’ types do you think you would see swinging a nine iron on a range? You are more likely to meet down to earth and peaceful type of men there. That is just an idea I’m throwing out. Also, I would agree with Admin that you should expand your horizons and explore other countries for that special someone. I can’t pinpoint which countries are the best for good men but I would ask Admin about that since he has much experience and has traveled to many places. You may need to just educate yourself on where to go. Start with google and use the right keywords, be creative. That is basically how I do it which is how I found this website to begin with. Admin provides a TON of insightful articles that teach me about women all over the world.
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Joy said:
I’m glad to hear about the 5% thing. Therefore, you must be right about places to meet men, but I just don’t know where to go and I’m not outgoing so approaching men is a difficulty.
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Ninja Gaiden, Admin , and of course, myself
, have given some good advice..
Let me comment on what you said. First, you don’t have to worry about approaching men. What you need to think about is putting yourself in a comfortable environment where you can meet these decent gentleman your heart seeks after. Men have the God-given duty to approach you and most guys in the USA actually give raised eyebrows to overly-flirtatious women. Basically, you want to be modest, humble and polite. Engage yourself in an activity or group where you will be interacting with others, without any great risks.
Golf course may be good idea, but wouldn’t there be mostly older, married guys at the golf club?
Here are some suggestions I have of places to meet the gentleman.. I am not an expert here, but just think about these.. Maybe you can think of some of your own.. Be creative.. That is the first step in finding a good man:
1. Hiking groups
2. Nature watching
3. Classical Dancing/Music appreciation groups (when a man loves classical, he is most likely a gentleman, LOL)
4. Church/Tempe/Synagogue/Religious/SPiritual Groups
5. Yoga/Meditation groups
6. Organic Food events (healthy men are usually more caring, not always)
Most good guys are religious, IMO.
I agree on all what you say in this blog! I’m 23 years old, an international student in the US and it’s my second year for me. When I first arrived here I really wanted to meet and start dating an American girl, since I’m going to school I thought it would be easier to mingle and maybe finding a girl that be my significant one. However I was really shocked by the reality of what values most of American girls have and what is the most important things they put first as their primary interests!! Unfortunately, as you mentioned, love, or family which are very important to me, are not the priorities. During my stay here, I have come to know and realize more things about American women, one of the notable traits most American women have is selfishness. I’m from a different cultural background and basically have different perspectives on many things, but I can now see why even some American men think the same as I do about American women, it’s obvious to me that feminism is taking over and even I feel that women here have more rights than men which I think is corrupting their values and making them more demanding that they forget the real values women should have and make them put the trivial things first. I also agree with you on being open to other countries and cultures, it totally worked with me, and here in the US! I find myself more into European girls because I have met lovely and understandable girls who have the values that match mine. Overall I don’t think that I will ever be able to cope with any American woman, as I’m already not thinking of dating American girls anymore.
If you are in America the best idea is to date a foreign girl. I wish it were not true but many American girls do not have the ideals they did in the past. This makes it really hard on guys that do.
I know a lot of girls here in the US are like this :/ Its really sad. Thats why I am marrying a foreign man from Tajikistan
. We love each other very much and wish to just get away from all the rumor making, fools here. Not ALL American girls are bad though! Not all…
First of all just because YOU are an “American Guy” does NOT make you an authority on women from America. You mostly like struck out with American ladies because of the judgmental and knowitall attitude that you have demonstrated here. Like you say America a huge country so more than likely your assumptions are way off. Sure there are girls who watch reality tv and are fake and rude. But a lot of us are very nice and dont care about money. I think there should be a blog on American Men and how badly they treat women. I just watched a special documentary about the abuse these so called Eastern European princesses you speak of. Ever heard of Anastasia King? Yeah she dreamed of a beter life out of Russia and her Ugly American Husband and his best friend murdered her. These mail order brides you speak so highly of are so naive they do not often think about the risks of moving to the US with someone they know little about. And your situation is very rare. Most men will NOT move to Europe for a mail order wife. They want them here and the bride wants to be out of here country. There are no laws regulating this growing industry. No background checks or anything. Maybe if there were, then they wouldve found out that Anastasia King’s American Husband had a criminal record and it might have saved her life. These girls are so desperate to get out of ther country they will marry ugly, fat or socially akward Americans and sadly much of these marriages DO NOT last and end up in some form of abuse. Here is the link to the story.
seattlepi.com/local/brid02.shtml
P.S.
Glad the whole finding a mail order wife worked for you but it does not work out for everyone. In fact I have heard many stories of men who get rejected by these women you speak so highly of. You are biased because you found one that truly loves you and doesnt have other motives. Its sad that you are on here giving false hope for the same thing to many deperate American men. You sound like you work for one these dating site maybe.
American girls
Your comment is a rant. I permitted it of course because you do not swear or attack people (thank you), but it really is a rant based on opinion not fact. And you are right that America is a large country and you can not make a generalization. I love America and Americans including the women. However, culturally they are not the only game in town. There is no way an American guy needs to limit himself to the girl next door.
Be open minded. If your love comes from the other side of the world, so what? I know many and I mean many girls who have married guys in Europe and around the world. I know many American girls dating guys from other countries who live in America.
What is the big deal?
The sensational media which feeds on people fear (remember the rice crisis) will always paint the worst picture to get gullible minds in a frenzy. But objectivity is the essence of intelligence.
My grandparents came from Ukraine and Poland for example. I have relatives in the USA and Ukraine and Poland. When I was on a trip to Poland and moved and was living in Poland I met my wife to be. What is wrong with that? I still live here as I have passports. It would be like you meeting a guy from another state, a state where you have family in. Is your world so small that you would not consider that?
I am an American and EU citizen. I have lived in both countries for a reasonable time in my life and traveled to countless and I mean countless other countries. I run no dating site and have no ties to any. But I think I know what I am talking about when I say, the world does not end with American culture. You do not fall off the edge of a flat earth if you consider a bride from abroad.
Even famous people do this. For example, does not Dicaprio date a girl from Israel, Jim Carey date a girl from India, Pitt date a girl with a French connection, Jonny Depp, live and married to a French girl, Evangeline Lilly date a guy from Germany etc?
Where is your openness and sense of adventure?
I would highly recommend that guys (and girls) from America be open minded and know the world is a large place and you do not have to marry the girl or guy next door.
American girls
Collin Farrell dating Alicja Bachleda from Poland, Macaulay Culkin dating a Ukrainian girl, Milan Kunis, Milla Jovovich another Ukrainian married to an American guy as is Alexandra Kosteniuk, Natalie Portman is a Russian/Israeli etc. In fact this is the way the world works. Dating people from other cultures makes it interesting. You can marry from some meat guy that sits and watches sports all day, but I married someone from another culture and my world is richer for it. I recommend other people keep their minds open too.
Come on if you meet some good looking Italian painter in Paris that was crazy about you, are you telling me you would not consider him because he is European?
George Clooney is dating Italian Elisabetta Canalis, basically love does not care too much about abstract political boundaries, unless you are not open to the possibility.
I agree about American women and the word is boring
But the other way around – about American men. Fat, uneducated, boring, insecure! Nothing compares to an intelligent, suave European man. Nothing! And it is so natural for them! They are naturally raised like that! Oh, particularly the Germans! I am living in Europe now, and have lived here for a few years, and I am so glad I haven’t even had to have and type of relation to American men. hehe.
Single moms should ban anti-male propaganda against men
I think a lot of the problem in America is that we have so many single mothers raising sons. A boy needs a positive male role model in his life. A good father is suppose to teach his son how to be a real man. Lots of these boys grow up hearing anti male propaganda, and become ashamed of being a male. This can make approaching a woman very hard because they don’t want to be seen as some sort of sexual freak.
These boys grow up into weak men, who are too afraid to stand up for themselves in a relationship. The women these men date start to walk all over this man and eventually will lose all respect for a man that refuses to stand up for himself.
The daughters of single moms are also often exposed to hearing the sexist propaganda against men causing them to always have a chip on their shoulder against men. If they met a man who does stand up for himself and demands he should be treated like an equal and leaves her. The woman will say to herself that “Men just can’t handle a strong educated independent woman.”
I understand that often a woman has a good reason to be a single mom, and I am not judging them for that. What I am saying is that single mothers need to actively censor the anti male nonsense that many children grow up hearing.
This is a complex topic. I do not know how US culture will all end up. I just know that from my experience both as a son and a father, children need both parents as role models and for emotional support, if not they go through the next 20 years of their life at an emotional disadvantage.
I feel bad for guys that are culturally programmed by American feminist society, and not to know how to be a real champion and prince for a girl. This includes learning to be strong and weathering the storms that women throw at you but also how to charm and thrill a girl so she drops all her extreme American feminist ideas and falls in love with her prince.
Children need both parents to bring balance to a child’s life and complex maturity not to be one way or the other. That is not be a feminist nor a chauvinist, but rather a prince and princess that has the ability to fall in love and get married and stay together.
If both parents are not spending a lot of quality patient one on one time with kids they will get cues from society and this is rarely good, especially for a guy these days who needs to learn to be a knight who can do battle and win a girl’s heart.
Even though I’m an American girl, I agree with most of this. I do have a problem with one thing, however. I am absolutely devoted to my husband, I would do anything for him, I love to cook for him and take care of him. But “starting a family” isn’t for everyone. Due to health problems from my teenage years (and health problems I wouldn’t want to pass on to a child), I can not have kids. We could go the way of adoption, but my husband is so much older than me (nearing 60), and the last thing he wants to do is chase kids around at his age. Even though he’s Russian and family is very important to him (and to me), he and I both realize that kids are not for us. We’re both completely okay with that. This decision isn’t because I’m a feminist, or American, or programmed, or want to put my career in front of a child. It’s because these are the cards I’ve been dealt, and I’m going to make the best of it. I realize you’re talking to men and advising them against dating American women (which I don’t completely agree with–there are those of us that are good and don’t need the man to “think hard” before committing to life with us), but some of us just can’t have families, and it’s not due to feminist reasons.
Abbey do not worry, if you can not have kids for the reasons you explained you are not obligated to in any way shape or form of course. If you have health concerns, the ideas of children does not apply. I do know couples who choose not to have children for whatever reason and they are happy in love and marriage and it has nothing to do with anything. We are all different. Each of our relationships will means something different, and children are a serious responsibility. You never know what the future holds. Despite of what I write, there are no ‘shoulds’ in life.
The other side of the story from an American girl
I do not believe this, at all. I had the same feeling about american men. I thought they were all selfish idealistic pigs looking for a lay. So, I decided to marry a Russian man. I was 22 when we married and I get mistaken all the time for looking Russian myself. Family was my heart and main goal and I put it before everything. He started going out partying and He would hang out with other russian guys in our area and all Russian guys have Russian girl friends that are strippers.
Please explain to me what makes these “family oriented” Russian strippers a better choice than a beautiful really lovely american girl I don’t understand. Bottom line is that you have put stereo types on all of us and people are not so easily put into test tubes and divided up. You can find a girl who as you call it “behaves european” right here in america, and sometimes you can go to Europe and fling girls who behave very “american” come on guys use your brains or better yet, use your hearts.
Russian girls and American girls why not be open to both?
Russian girls and American girls – why choose just one or the other, consider both.
Despite what you wrote I think American guys should seriously consider the whole world when it comes to dating.
I am in agreement with some of what you write, that one culture does not have a monopoly on virtue and goodness.
However, I do think a lot of American girls are a little bit rough around the edges, but it is not their fault. Also many American girls have given up on the dream of a normal life and a family partially because of us guys.
That is many American guys are players and swing from girlfriend to girlfriend. Players hurt people. Each time a guy does this, it hurts a girl and destroys her ideals a little. Eventually men and women lose belief in true love and a normal marriage and life.
So the solution is this. Take the attitude that the whole world can behave like this, but I choose not to. I choose to hold onto my ideals and judge each person for their character not their country of origin, including the USA or Russia.
However, that being said, I recommend almost universally that there is no reason that people have to marry the girl or guy next door or an American girl. Nor an American girl has to marry an American guy. Why not travel the world and see the world from a different perspective and then you will have a better feel for what is congruent to your ideas and ideals.
I think Russia has many wonderful people. I live in Poland and I know there is very little ‘playing and swinging’ going on. Most people day one or two people and get married for life. They do not cheat.
But times are changing and you find good and bad in every society. So there is no universal rule.
My message is be open to the possibility that your other half is on the other side of the world.
I think many guys are bitter about American girls as they have had such negative experiences since feminism has programmed a generation of girls to be jaded towards family and being a wife.
So if you have found that the case, do not make a big deal about it or get negative, do what I did, take the first plane to some far off exotic place and see if it is more to your liking.
Live your dream.
I am sorry you see the darker side of Russian culture. It is not a universal. My Russian friends would never behaves like that.
On the other hand Russia is a culture all to itself. You have to understand that they pride themselves as being have European and have barbarian as my friends have said.
So in conclusion, there are many nice American girls, but in my experience and many other people’s, they are harder to find and might not be worth the search effort. In contrast when you step off the plane in other countries the girls find you.
American girls
Yes to foreign girls, No to American girls
“Russian girls and American girls – why choose just one or the other, consider both.”
Why choose one or the other? Because there are too many problems with American girls. When asked, they claim that they want a good, kind man but when a man like that walks up to them, that same woman won’t give him any time of day. She would go for the bad guys instead, that makes these girls liars and hypocrites. Approaching American girls is about as much fun as trying to become friends with a cornered porcupine. No thanks, I’m smarter than that. American girls play too many immature head games.
“However, I do think a lot of American girls are a little bit rough around the edges, but it is not their fault.”
A little? Mark, you are funny. Although, the way they are may not be completely their fault, it doesn’t make it any easier for those of us guys that are trying to be genuine. It makes it impossible. So what is the point of trying any more? I find my past experiences, talking to foreign girls is so much easier, smoother, and without any hangups.
Time and money spent on an American girl - could have had a foreign bride by now
I am living proof that just signing up on match.com or meeting girls in a club in the USA is not the optimal dating strategy. I mean there are some nice American girls, however, I am very happily married to not the girl next door but someone from the other side of the world.
Even today I was commenting with my expat American friend that I see normal looking American tourists guys come through town with some plus sized tattooed American wife who is walking in front of him. Chills run up out spine, thinking that guy could have been me.
Further, man of these guys are restraining themselves to not look at some leggy Slavic beauty as she walks by giving him the eye.
America does have good women, just much harder to find, by a factor of ten. I think it has to do with the values portrayed in the media and the lies they have been raised with.
In contrast women in the rest of the world are more balanced and do not have an axe to grid with men. They are not trying to prove anything, but rather looking for a husband they can marry, have a family with and a normal life. I want a woman who will always put me before anything else. II do the same of course. I think many American women see men as a component of their lives.
Boyfriend, studies, career, girlfriends,parents, shopping, girls night, money, her cats etc are all almost on equal par. Eventually when you have a child, the stress of everything breaks.
In a marriage to a foreign girl, the girl knows she takes care of her family first and that is all that matters. I as a man think the same. I only make money to provide for my family. Not to try to juggle anything.
My wife makes my life peace and joy and she is proud of that. I do not know too many American girls that can say the same. That is they dream of being a good wife and good cook and mother and nothing else really matters in life.
I may not be the richest man in the world, but boy I got lucky finding my dream princess from the other side of the world.
I again will reiterate, I highly recommend guys, and girls for that matter consider dating people from not just their same social class, political economic status, race or country. You can marry and fall in love with someone from a totally different part of the world and they will give you happiness you could never find at home. It will change your life.
Foreign girls like talking to you. They are polite do not give off weird vibes and mixed signal in the same way I have personally gotten from American girls.
The amount of time and money you have spend on American girls, could have been spent on one cheap air plane ticket to a forgeign country and you would have a beautiful bride by now.
American girls
American girls are not bad like you make us
I think some of you are being just a little too harsh. Not all of us American women are self centered, pompous, well…another name for a female dog.
Not all women in the United States have careers for ego. Some do it so they have something to do while theyre kids are at school. Some do it to have extra money so they can provide extra for their kids. Some do it to help others. Like, I want to be a surgeon. I’m doing this to help others and so i can provide better for my future kids.
Now, yes, sometimes I only think about myself, but afterwards I do feel guilty. But I love my family. I would do anything for my family. I can be rude, but I try not to be. I dont live to serve anyone. I believe a woman can have a career and be a mother. My own mom did it, and I’m turning out pretty well.
Yes, some women all they want is to date you, have sex, and kick you away like her old high heels.
Now, some of you complain about the south. The south is amazing. I’m in Virginia, and I’m a pretty decent southern girl. I have family in Virginia, West Virginia, and Tennessee. There’s nothing wrong with a southern woman. We can have a certain southern charm. But if you irritate some of us…well, that can be a big mistake.
Now, I still have a few years to go until I’m an adult, but i think I’m going to be a decent woman. I’m studying Spanish and i studied French. I’m in honors classes, and I’m acing them. I played the piano. I also read and write a lot. I love to read books. I find them interesting. I also love history and I can sit there reading a history book all day. I also dont mind running, when i’m in the mood to do so. I alos dont mind playing soccer, baseball, etc. So not all women in America are fat, obnoxious, self centered, pompous jerks(yes, I know it’s used mainly for guys, but i cant find another word to describe what i’m trying to say). Sometimes, American women can suck. This is why I try to make more guy friends than girls, because girls can be so irritating. So yes, most girls are horrible, but there are us rare ones that can be career women and family women.
American girls
American girls Vs. Foreign women and why men who know choose a foriegner bride
Brittany, just realizes that many of us American guys are slightly jaded from experiences with American girls. I wish you could see it from another perspective.
We grow up thinking women are kind, loving, loyal and vessels who transmit culture, language and religion from one generation to the next. Then you start dating in American meet many material girls who are about ego gratification and have a low-level of intellectual and spiritual development beyond their résumé or the score of boyfriends they have had.
It is not that we have any bad feelings towards girls, just the contrary, we think they are the finer gender. However, in American culture there is a high premium on masculine behavior for some reason.
Then you travel to other countries and you meet girls who do not care about money and base their life on love and compassion. They develop things like musical talents and language skills, they go to church and have humble sincere faith and pride themselves on being able to cook for their husband. They do not want to be into serial dating with many boyfriends but find their one and only prince. And maintaining a balance of weight is not a big deal.
I want someone to talk about ancient Greek philosphy and have ketchup fights with and believe in me that I am their hero their one and only. Most and I mean most girls where I live never really have a boyfriend until they meet their husbands. What is so wrong with that? I want ketchup fights and a fairy-tale princess. Why must I settle?
They are women in the sense that they spend their energy focused on higher things in life, like culture and developing themselves as compassionate beings. Rather than focusing on money and career.
Again why do women think the summum bonum of life is career and being independent from a man?
The contrast is so stark that 100% of the men that I know that live as expats as I do would never consider an American girl again. Not that there is anything wrong with American girls and some are nice, but for dating they for some reason lose total interest.
I have lives a good part of my adult life in Europe and travelled around the world. I also am an American. I can see the differences in cultures around the world. There is nothing wrong with American girls if you like that. But if man, you do not have to marry the girl next door because of proximity or you are too lazy to consider the other 3 billion women in the world.
It seems there are many nice girls in the USA that would prove me wrong. However, the problem is they are so few and far between it is impossible for the average guy to ever really connect with them.
However, maybe girls might say the same thing about American guys, but generally foreign women dream of American guys.
American girls
Not just American girls but the other side of the equation American guys
I understand why some men may be turned off by some American women. But, just as an example, you date two women, and they both ignore you and go out partying, that doesnt mean you can base the entire American female population off of that.
Oh, and what about these nice American girls who are out there, but they get snatched up by who they think is their Prince Charming, when in reality, he is a rude, abusive, pompous jerk. There are probably a bunch of us nice American women, but some cant get away from their abusive man. Some nice women get taken by sucky guys. Just saying.
Now, I as a person, yes, I do like to have a nice cushion of money so I’m not living in poverty. But when i get older, if I had to give that up to, for example, save my child, then I would do it in a heartbeat. I want to have a decent paying job when i get older so i can give my kids better than what i had. i want them to have a nice house, a stable environment, and an excellent education. Is it wrong that I want that even though I need money for it? My interest in money is for my future children, not for my ego.
Now, I can cook, but I dont want to just cook for my husband and he expect me to do it. I want to do it because i love him and when he comes home he’s suprised by it. But I also want a man who when i come home from a long day, has dinner ready.
I’ve grown up independent, and I learned at an early age how to cook. Now, my grandmother thought I should be a polite, religious young lady. That didnt fit my personality. She was ashamed to be seen with me, but I didnt care. If that makes me a horrible person, then I apologize for my personality. But what I want to be when I grow up is a mother, wife, and surgeon. The job I want to do helps others. That’s nothing to frown upon. I dont want to be some high paid CEO of something. I want to help people live. If that makes me a bad woman, then so be it.
But not all American women are horrible. Now, some southern women are the best. How do i know? My family is full of southern women. Now, do I think most women from places like New York, California, Florida, and places like that can be rude? Yes, I do. But the ones of us that have grown up in small towns arent bad. I wish some of you all would see that.
American girls
Why American girls - why many are not happy
Those southern belle’s are nice, Oh yes. Texas to NC. I went to school at Wake Forest, in NC and the women have a different approach to life than Boston women.
Brittany you make great points:
1) Men can be jerks – My reply is course we can, as God makes us equal and although manifest in different ways our problems are the same, that is to over come our anger and forgive and become loving compassionate people.
2) Nice girls get taken for a ride by guys. – 100% agree and I tell guys not to sleep with girls unless you are serious. In fact, in the ideal it would be to wait, because if you break up with her before marriage you are basically sleeping with another man’s future wife. _ My only reply is women should not give up you know what so easy.
3) I believe you can cook – I think the whole idea of cooking is a dividing point in US culture. Women say ‘they do not cook’ to prove they are strong women and independent. However, lets be honest, when they have a small innocent baby that is crying for mommy for food, who is the one that will have to help that child. The man can, but the woman’s brain is wired to feed and help that baby. A woman’s brain will light up like a Christmas tree when that baby cries. So all this silly comments by women who try to prove they are strong by saying cooking is submissive is a moot point because cooking as well as other roles are wired in the woman’s brain when she has a small baby. It is evolution. I believe in science and evolution. A women who does not want to take care of her child is not only heartless but sick.
4) I believe you will give your kids a stable environment.
5) excellent education is the biggest excuse for parents to defer responsiblity to someone else. IQ is determined by genetics, the woman’s diet during pregnancy and the first eight years of life. This is when a child is formed. A stable environment at home with stimulation is the most important. Education will only mess you up in many cases. I would rather teach my child chess and languages before eight years old than send her to Harvard at 40,000 dollars a year.
Education is a big business in the USA and good to have but 100 times more important is a stable environment and love from parents as well as mental stimulation before the age of eight.
And to echo Katya’s point, it is not that American women are bad, they can make great CEO’s as well as middle level managers and workers. It has been argued women make better managers, are more detailed oriented, basically more repsonisble.
I believe in women in business. In fact when I ran an accounting department, at one point I had ten women working for me and only me. However, the question is should they be applying that talent and it is natural skills of intuitions and empathy as well as IQ (my wife is o smart her nickname I call her is IQ). That is for their own personal happiness? I think American girls feel uncomfortable with pride-ing themselves in being a good wives and mothers, which one million years of evolution as deeply placed in their brain.
When they fight this, it causes unhappiness for them and society.
American girls
What I think is an ideal wife
In the end I agree with you. It is not just but men in the USA. If I walk in your shoes than I would not want to be a girl in the USA where men just try to be cool and have fun with my body while smiling at me, only to leave me and hurt me.
I guess the solution for both genders is find partners that have the same ideals,
For me the best girl to marry is a super hot chick with ideals and lives those ideal. I am sorry this sounds superficial but this is what I did and she is my princess and soul mate.
I think attraction is important but ideals and the persons soul even more. But it is so much fun that I married a slim, leggy long aired beauty. I can not help it, however, talk about ideals and values she helps me be a better person.
US society places focus on things like career and money over soul often. And yes I am American.
Money career and women in America
Admin, exactly. I have been one of those girls who has thought I’ve found a decent guy-us both being from the South- when in reality he just used me. Dont take that as he had sex with me. It’s just that I was used as a cover up.
Also, cooking isnt a sign of weakness or being just another women. Being able to cook is a good thing. What about when you’re living on your own? What? Are you just gonna buy fast food all the time and balloon up? Yes, not all people get fat with fast food if they have a high enough metabolism, but some people dont.
Now, with the education. I know it’s important to teach kids things. That’s why I tried helping to teach my cousins important things; Two are four, the one is seven. Also, my mother when I was still in say, first grade, taught me cursive and multiplication. She also bought me these little Spanish books that taught you Spanish. She also showed me her old French notes. Maybe that’s partly what led to my success in school, not to sound like I’m bragging. But for my kids though, when they go off to college, I want them to go to the best colleges. Also, i at the same time want them to do what they want to do. If that means them settling down at eighteen and having kids, then okay, i’ll support them. But if they demand they want to go to a fancy private school, then I’ll support them. I want them to do what they want, as long as it wont hurt them physically or emotionally.
Also, I think women can be happy family wise and job wise, like i’ve said before.
Oh, and god. I’ve had guys fricking stare at me, even a fricking like forty year old guy. They only want sex, and I dont want that. I want a relationship, not sex, well, not yet.
In America, I think some guys have had it drilled in their minds to be players, or to order their women around and abuse them like theyre dogs. Some are decent, but some are just complete scum.
Also, I dont think all American women have been told, ‘You need a career. You need to feel proud and powerful.’ I’ve decided I want a career, like I’ve said, not for ego, or money for myself.
Again, there are decent American women. I’m one, and so is most of the women in my family, along with a bunch of others I know. Maybe it’s because we’re from the south? But some men just need to come to the South maybe. Yes, sometimes the way we talk sounds absolutely atrocious, but we can be very friendly women. So, maybe some men could try foreign, some the south. Haha.
American girls
Men and the psychology of finding your other half
I have a much better understanding of where you are coming from. I think you are young and idealistic and you live in a world of men that want something from you.
Further, you have a high level of intellectual curiosity and you want to apply your brain at this juncture in your life to something that is productive, such as the work place. I understand this.
As for guys, well,Yes it is true, all men are pigs. Even me I am a pig. However, try not to look at it that way. Men love and are attracted to women. It is our nature. The question is this, can you find, or at least teach a man who channels his libidinal into higher dreams and ideals. This guy will respect in all your aspects as a woman.
Do you know Maslow hierarchy of needs? I mean in this way. Not just understand in from a base attraction level but all your dimensions as well as your dark side and insecurities.
I have noticed that women who wait and do not give guys milk for free so to speak generally have an easier time finding their man.
I can tell you that being married to your soul mate is a gazillion times better than being single. You have a real partner in life to share things with and travel and develop with.
I am a big fan of Maslow and Erikson in terms of understanding people and relationships. That is the true fit is the person who completes you on a multi dimensional level and you supports you with a fundamental humanistic trust in life.
Hi Brittany, I do not know the USA like you do. I think in other parts of the world we tend to idealize the USA, mostly we learn about the USA from American movies and TV shows. We think this is the reality that every American woman is smart, clever and beautiful oh and slim.
However, I think the reality is different. And what is being conveyed is not that American women are horrible. Rather for dating, American women are not the choice that would lead to happiness for the American male. They might good women, just not wife material.
Katya, I believe some people tend to think America’s more horrible than it is. I also believe some others believe we’re better than we are. We’re average, just like lots of other developed countries. We all have our pros and cons. American men and women are the same way. American women can also sometimes me agressive, but not always. We can also be open minded. Lots of us are also very smart. For instance, I’ve grown up in a small hick town. People that grow up in highly populated towns around me, think that I’m supposed to be a stupid redneck who knows nothing about the world, and sometimes I know more than they do! Also, not all of us have these perfect bodies. We’re not all super slim, but not all of us are fat slobs. I know I’m not super slim, but I’m more of average. So I think people when they see these American movies with these perfect actors and actresses should look up actual average working Americans. We’re not perfect, but we try so hard to be. That’s where all our flaws lie. Because we try to be perfect.
How men really are towards women
I would just like to say that men are not ‘pigs’. This is accepted as absolute truth in society and I am sick of it. Shall we say all women are ‘bitches’? Doesn’t feel good does it…
The truth is that men were given an enormous sex drive at birth, by God. It comes installed on the hard drive ‘right out of the box’. If you can imagine caveman days – this urge served the human race very well when other human beings (women) were scarce and where people generally did not live long.
Evolution takes millions of years to change and that same DNA is still installed on every male at birth. The DNA does not recognize that it is in a ‘modern society’ where certain things are inappropriate.
Men can be monogamous and make great life partners – there are too many examples of this to be disputed. They don’t have to be players. However, gain some understanding of biology and cut men some slack! We have 20 times the testosterone as women on average and that means 20 times the sex drive. It is constant, unrelenting and distracting.
Women are installed with the mother gene at birth and they are assigned virtuous qualities just by doing what God or Mother nature has urged them to do – have children. Women are glorified and encouraged for following their nature – men are demonized and persecuted.
Finally, women truly have many gifts and virtues, however there is one Achilles heel, one form of kryptonite they fall victim to with astounding regularity. They have terrible choice in men. They fall for a-holes, abusers and jerks and then go on talk shows and talk all day to their fellow women-folk about how bad men are… what pigs they are!
Ok women, you have achieved ‘empowerment’ – you have arrived. Now that you are here, I suggest you gain some actual spiritual qualities and start thinking original thoughts for yourself and recognize that this is a world of opposites – up/down, left/right, yes/no, on/off, yin/yang…man/woman. Embrace and accept your opposite other. Gain some depth within yourself.
American girls
Drew you are correct and I was wrong. I was being a little dramatic when I said all men are pigs. I wrote this to make women aware that unless women go for men that have some ideals about love and women, then their lives will often be an existence with serial daters or players. There are many men out there that want a real fairy-tale. I have one and would not ever trade it for being single.
Further, I know scores of girls who have been in long-term relationships with guys and living with them for years and it never really leads to marriage. This is because the milk is for free and flows too easy in Western culture. It is a dynamic that has made it difficult to find true love, along with a lowering of ideals in relationships.
Men will rise to the occasion if women put it out there that life and love are something from the Divine.
Okay, yes, guys do have bigger sex drives than women, but at some point doesnt the thought run through your mind that something might be inappropriate at the wrong moment? I mean, I think some disgusting thoughts too, but seriously. There’s a time and place. Doesnt the thought occur that something might be wrong right at that moment? I get that guys have a bigger sex drive, but seriously. Time and place for everything.
Women's desire for romance is no less than a man's drive for intimacy
I like to think men and women are equal in all respects. Even with sex drives. Please do not be offended by what I write, I just want to be honest and am arguing a point. Women’s desire for romance is no less than a man’s drive for intimacy, no matter that we call it, the result is the same.
Romance and love and intimacy as expressions of the same drive channeled differently
I do not like the idea that men have bigger drives than women and all the jokes about it as they do not exlpore the issue deep enough. That is men and women have the same drives but the language of expression and the timing is different.
Girls are not that innocent as they play
Why? For every guy that has a “roll in the hay”, there is a girl. It is always 50-50, how can it not be? Unless it was something forced which we are not talking about.
Every time there is a man cheating, he is cheating with someone.
I have traveled all over this world and as much as women put on a front of ‘oh I am so innocent’ and we only do it because the man wants it, I laugh. Women are the best sales people in the world. What are they doing, just staring at the ceiling and thinking of England? I think not.
Women do just as many things as guys. In fact it is not a big deal for a woman to do many things I am embarrassed to even think of. For men, love and romance is often an aspect of their lives, second to work or the Internet. Women could do without the Internet but not without social connections or relationships etc. You might say this is different from a sex drive but it is the same manifest in a different language.
Same idea but different language of expression between the genders.
Every time one of my friends meets a girl in a club and they go to her flat and as she it pulling out a stack of ‘protection’ and I mean fumbling though a whole stack from a multi colored box in her night stand, she is simultaneously saying “I never do this type of thing”.
Every time a woman goes away on a weekend trip with her partner to some quaint little country inn excursion, and comes back and tells her friends ‘oh it was so charming at the inn, it rained all weekend but we read books by the fire or went shopping at the country store’, I know what really went one.
I am still waiting for men’s Victoria secrets to be as popular as it is for women.
Somehow the numbers of encounters do not add up between the genders in dating
So it amazes me every time a guy talks about how many times he has rolled in the hay and women talk there is a difference in numbers.
I think it is basically equal. However, men have the added feature in this drive that they must be the hunter or the seeker of it. So they are wired to find a partner, while the woman waits for one.
Guys might be more visual and go for it, but girls many all they do is obsesses about their looks and make themselves beautiful and read romances and talk about relationships. The read books on psychology to Jane Austen. Their minds are no less wired for sex than men. They just manifest this libidinous energy in a different way as nature has made their role different.
How dating and drives are different between men and women
Also women have a cycle that naturally stimulates their hormones up and down and there are times when they want it or not and other times they ‘need’ it. Men, if they do not have it eventually because of the feedback mechanism of nature, that is you get more of what you reinforce, their drive will fade if they do not use it. Women have a cycle and will always keep getting interest in this at some point. I have guy friends that have almost no interest as they have given up on girls.
Also women in their 30 and 40s start to gain momentum with this drive. Maybe it is they feel better about their bodies or it is nature pressing them to reproduce. Men on the other hand get more romantic.
In college we use to dream up Utopian societies and one we had were 21-year-old boys with 35-year-old women. Then when the man was 35 he should switch to a 21-year-old girl then the drives would be in sync.
This is not bad that women desire intimacy at all and nothing to be ashamed of. I think psychology represses a lot of this in women.
Marriage and intimacy
We are all human and it is nothing to be ashamed of. I just believe it should all be done in the context of marriage. As much crazy stuff I write, I believe in love and marriage. I do not like the idea of ‘rolling in the hay’ with partners outside the context of marriage because every time you do this is like cheating on your future spouse or corrupting someone elses husband or wife unless you marry the person you are doing it with. I know I am old fashion but hey you have your whole life to do it with your spouse why not wait?
When you do get married you should do that stuff, the Bible says so and the Church wants you do even. Nothing to feel bad about at all. You can swing from the chandeliers if you want.
However, I think women enjoy it and want this as much as men. Maybe I am too politically correct and try to see men and women as too equal but I like to think that we are basically the same but playing with a different rule book in life.
American girls
Quick point. Everything you said makes sense. But also, at least here in America, why is it when men sleep with more women theyre applauded but when women do they’re considered, for lack of a better word, bad girls?
Genetics of love, dating and fidelity - Why evolution is spreading genes in new ways
Most of my friends and acquaintances are not players at all. I know most of my friends regretting they have slept with women as they are morally aware and sensitive and when they have their wives all those ‘rolls in the hay’ ment nothing without true love. My friends are attractive and successful.
Guys I know are not like pop culture characterization of men. Just take a look, most of the guys writing on this forum are searching for true love. They want a real wife and bride not a fling. Maybe some do, but the guys that write me privately and post here mostly want the real thing. Why? Because if you find someone you really connect with and are attracted to it is eons better than being a confirmed bachelor and getting fat and old when the rest of your friends have the pitter patter of little feet running around their house.
Rewards of having a family Vs. being a serial dater
I mean I am watching Star Wars with my daughter and playing chess. I am basically reliving my childhood but even better. My wife is beautiful and brings peace to our home.
Why would I want to have cold heartless one night stands and hurt people’s feelings for my own ego gratification? Grow fat and old watching TV and eating Chinese food alone in my chair? And going out with recyled women as I get older and older.
I want a white picket fence and ketchup fights and spooning and the whole thing. And you know I have it. I traveled all over the world and nothing beats being married to your soul mate.
I think teenage guys think in terms of ‘notches on their belt” because they are insecure and are looking for affirmation that they are one of the guys. But this is a teenage mentality.
Human genes of fidelity love and dating relationships
But human evolution is not about survival of the fittest nor spreading your seed to as many as possible.
This is a huge fallacy in understanding genetics and evolution.
Genetic proliferation has developed a higher level strategy as confirmed by many leading edge genetics and expressed by thinkers like Alfred Gierer from Tubingen. It is not just an interplay of the strong survive and luck, but now in our genes are actually ideals like cooperation, and community and ethics. They are evolving into our genes as natures sees this as a better strategy for survival than pure reptilian selfishness or ‘spreading ones seed’. Think about it. If we are to survive would not it make sense for evolution to incorporate more advance traits to proliferate and differentiate genes?
So the mating and dating game is not as is characterized in the popular press and dogmatic scientists. Ideals of love and loyalty to ones partner and mating for life are found in humans as our genes and consciousness evolve.
But ultimately I should not care how others behave. I should only like you ask questions of why people do things but live my life based on what I think is right.
This includes for me, finding the love of my life.
American girls
Dating guys that are real Vs. insincere - you choose who you hang out with
Maybe it is a Western European – American thing. In Eastern Europe you do have some guys that are going though primitive perpetual adolescence, but most are not. The Russian guys I and guys from Spain and Portugal and many other places are not like that at all. They are from the village and have been taught right and wrong. Or maybe it has something to do with education or religion. I do not know any men that are professors or Doctors here that are swingers; only the ones that try to act cool, but are walking bundles of insecurity are trying to pick up girls all the time. Just ignore these guys.
America is anti-family
Honestly Brittany, that is not the first time I have heard an American female ask that question, and I need to ask you to narrow it down a bit. Could you be more specific? I mean that is like me asking why would a girl go out with a guy to a restaurant, and have no intentions of getting romantically involved with him (not necessarily sleep with him that night) but just use him as a meal ticket, and then have her women friends applaud her later on for taking advantage of him like that?
Guyver, I’m sorry if my question was too vague. But for example, if a guy sleeps or dates 4 girls within one years, he’s applauded. But if a girl does the same thing, she can be considered a wh_re. Why? They’ve both slept or dated the same amount. What makes it different?
Karma of dating, relationships and transmutation energy
I would be curious what other guys think, but me personally I think there is no honor in sleeping with four girls in a year. I mean when you get married and find your one and only this is like you have cheated on your future wife.
Further, the girls you ‘rolled in the hay’ with will be someone else’s sweetheart. If you put it in this perspective than think there is more honor, learning languages, doing charity, yoga, traveling excelling in sports or whatever than playing with people’s feelings.
Maybe you have done this, as you wanted to experience this or dating basically is lame and you felt you had no options.
Well just think about what I wrote. I think every time a guy or girl does this, it makes the task of finding their one and only more difficult as they do not feel the deep pains of loneliness and have the courage to do crazy things like search around the world for their one and only. They take energy that could have been transmutted to a purer form and dissipate it.
Virtue is its own reward, look up those cool players in a few years and you will see that they have nothing special going on in their lives. It is Karma perhaps.
Yeah. I mean, you probably shouldnt sleep with four a year, but what about when you are with someone, who you love, and have s_x, but like a year later you break up? Now, I think that’s a different thing, especially if you two had talked about getting married. I mean yeah, some people believe in no premarital sex, but what about in those cases? Those people think that that person is their future spouse.
Brittany, who exactly is doing the applauding? I’ve heard cases where other guys would cheer each other on in getting the “hot chick” into bed for a one nighter, and then getting applauded by his young immature friends for it. Like it was some sort of conquest or challenge. A certain social flow will go with that trend. However, the dating four times a year part? That is still fuzzy, a man and a woman can “date” each other for a time with no sex involved. America confuses the heck out of me as to what “dating” even is anymore.
I didnt mean a man and woman dating 4 times a year. I meant a man or woman dating 4 different people in a year. Like, you date someone for 2 months. Then you date someone for 5 months. Then someone for 3, then someone for 2. And believe me, I’ve seen men applaud each other for getting a certain amount, not just the ‘hot’ girl.
I know what you meant by that. I think the ‘dating’ for months on end part is what leads up to the bed. I think that is why some guys will ‘applaud’ as you put it because it takes time and effort to get it done. Maybe it’s the only way that single guys feel they can get their needs met.
I will say I have been in the situation of living with a woman who wanted to get married. In the beginning of the relationship I was thinking along those lines but as I could see what life would be like with her after only a few months – I told her I could never marry her and so I moved out. She had all the non-qualities that you mention on this blog in abundance. Basically a militant feminist.
I would like to add to this by saying don’t marry an American guy (except you, Mark, you’re a good one).
American men are rude. I can’t go anywhere without some guy referring to me as “baby” or “sweetie” or some other pet name. I think it’s extremely rude for a man to refer to a woman this way when they don’t even know her. My husband calls me things like this; he calls me detka and krasotka, but he’s allowed to call me whatever he wants. He’s my husband. I should note that he didn’t even start calling me these things until we were engaged. American men think that if they “flatter” a girl by acknowledging her with a frivolous pet name, they will have her. American men think they can have anything.
Also, a lot of American men are either overweight, or they have big muscles. Neither one of these looks good. They either lose interest in their appearance and get out of shape, or they go overboard and try to show off with these ridiculously sized muscles. Both looks are completely unnecessary.
So it’s not just American girls to run from, it’s American men, too.
Touche – I have heard this complaint about American guys. They tend to be players then if they get married they pork out and are obsessed with work. On the other hand, I know many American guys that are really sweet and want true love and do stay in shape. So be as a guy it is hard to see it though your eyes because I have not had an experience as an American girl. I would be curious what other American girls think of American guys.
To Abbey
Abbey I believe you need to subjective. American guys would still like to stay “guys” then things have a good chance to work out. But American girl want to be “Guy” things will not work out.
American Girls and their cell phones
Ask an American girl what is one thing she could not live without. Some of them will say hair straightener, but most of them will say cell phone. I know girls who literally stay on the phone all day with their best friend or mom.
Hard to say what it is that makes them glued to their cell phone all the time. Unlimited minutes might be a part of the reason.
It is not that common in Europe, where I live and if anyone here was to use their phone that much, they would probably have to give up a half of their paycheck. It is natural here to get off the phone once you said everything you had to say and no one blames you.
In the USA, you always have to come up with a good reason to end the call, such as “I have to go to work” or “I have another call ”. And of course, you are supposed to add “I will call you back later”, even if you really do not intend to do it.
What annoys me the most about this phenomenon is that those girls can come over to visit and never get off the phone, just taking little breaks every now and then.
Or constantly texting and never making any eye contact. This results in both the person on the phone and the one she is talking to in person feeling ignored or getting confused about who is it that she is talking to at the moment. It makes more sense to just make the most out of your visit and talk to real people when you can and talking on the phone when no one is around.
But maybe it is just me, Iam not a fan of phone conversations in general and especially cannot understand people who feel the need to stay on the phone all day for no specific reason. I cannot imagine calling my mom or a friend just to tell them what I had for lunch.
I dislike those awkward moments when a phone addict has to go to the bathroom and hands the phone to a random person instead of just hanging up for a minute, making two strangers talk to each other. Sure, you could make friends that way, but most of the time it just gets awkward on both sides of the line. So if you happen to be one of the mobile addicts, please don’t do that to your friends.
American girls
Yes I love it when you go a meet a girl for a date or are on a date and she is on her cell phone with someone else or texting or messaging someone. I do not even have a mobile phone, if I want to meet someone, be with that person, I can not image what is so important, that it can not wait.
No cell phones during a date
Personally, I would feel insulted if a girl brought her phone with her during a date with me, and spent most of her time texting or doing stupid things on it. I would tell her to turn it off, or I would just leave. I don’t need to spend my time with some girl who doesn’t respect it. Cell phones have their uses but not when you are supposed to be spending time with someone you chose to spend that time with.
Agreed, cell phones have limited uses, mostly when you have a girlfriend to stay in touch when apart, but not really for dating. I do not have a mobile phone, to much of a cash flow drain and I am with my wife 24/7 so no need.
I agree with it being annoying when anybody, not just girls, are on their phones 24/7 if you’re trying to hang out with them or talk to them. I mean, I know when I’m at home by myself, I text my friends a lot. But I mean, I live far away from them, so either texting or Facebook are the best ways to talk to them. Personally, I think texting is less rude. Due to the fact that if you get a text instead of a phone call, you can glance down and hurry and type, or be like, “Oh, I can answer later.” A phone call, it’s irritating if someone keeps calling you while you’re hanging out with someone and you dont want to answer it and be rude, but it’s being rude anyways by the phone going off.
And as for Guyver, I would agree with you so much if i was a guy. I mean, if i were to go out with a guy, and he were to be texting his friends, I would be irritated. I would do it back to him just to be as rude. If he’s going to be rude, then I’ll be rude back. I’m not going to waste my time being nice when he doesnt respect it. It’s ridiculous with some girls when they have their phones and are like, “Oh lord, I just got a text message/phone call. Let me answer this right now!” I mean, be polite and say excuse me i have to answer, or it’s not important; i’ll get it later.
no texting or calling during a date
Brittany, instead of being rude in return, why don’t you just say adios and never speak to that person again? I would have no problem telling that to a girl I was out with if she decided to start diverting her attention away from me. I don’t put up with that. Why do girls think it’s okay to disrespect a guy they are out with, such as flirting with other guys on or off the phone? It would aggravate me to no end. Are they trying to test a man’s patience? Do you think that is wise? Dating in America has become one of the world’s biggest jokes. People just need to give up. It doesn’t work. It’s like being inside the Matrix, until you’ve been unplugged then you have no idea what life should be like. I’m going off on a tangent now so I’ll just end it there.
I would be rude back to show them how it feels. If I’m out with a guy, and he’s rude to me, I’ll be rude back. I will not waste being nice on rude jerks. I dont think it is okay to disrespect a guy you’re out with. I mean, if I was out with a guy, and someone called, I’d either be like, oh I can get it later, or excuse me, I need to answer this really quick. I’d be polite about it.
Men where born to be men and women to be women. The characteristics of men and women were almost very clear from the day they were created. Things got screwed up when women wanted to play men. Like Tom cuise said “You complete me” But she could not be him but to complete him if you undestand what I mean. I am from Middle east and believe me the American culture is being infectious over here as well. I know. I studies in the US
I wrote a long reply to your comment but deleted it. I believe men or women can be anything they want to be and in anyway. We all create and redefine our lives based on who we are. I believe there are no rules in life except to know and love God. And this is not even a rule but life itself.
However, that being said, American girls try to be too macho for me, and this turns a lot of people off. In the Middle East as in many parts of the world, women have more power because they understand the power in being powerless. I know this seems like a bad, it is not. Their strength in following their nature if you will is like Yin. Yin energy is in some ways stronger than Yang. Water dominates over earth. Trees that bend do not break in the first storm. Trees that are hard break and fall.
I do not understand why American women do not know this and try to be hard?
Be light, be gentle, be flexible and this is real power.
How about Canadian women?
What’s the difference between then and the American ones?
American girls vs Canadian girls
American women are by far the most feared. The US is a very competitive culture. We, with the idea that ‘we are all winners’ and self-confidence overflows ad nauseum walk around with heads high. Now this is not all bad. Believing in yourself is important. However, when you are pumped with ego combined with very powerful messages about obtaining material things (the USA is a little decadent this way to say the least), the idea that if you are not happy in a marriage just leave (and there is a divorce lawyer, Oh I am sorry a family lawyer, on every corner ready for 300 bucks to tell you its OK, go ahead) and a culture slightly partial towards women and bias against men to maintain political correctness, American women unless they are of a good-natured sort, many whom I meet, are not worth the risk.
However, in contrast Canadian women are not yet over the top in terms of trouble. French Canadian girls are perfectly fine. I have met few that are anything but nice. British Canadian girls are troubled like American girls because of feminism and the influence of liberal form of Protestantism that has watered down ethics to situational.
Canadians from Greece or the Middle East or virtually anywhere but the British Canadian culture girls tend to be exceptionally nice.
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