How Romanian women think

The real secret to hook a cordial Romanian girl and keep her

Scientific studies confirm that Romanian woman are ranked in the top three cordialtest women on the earth. Romanian girls are magical in their allure and the affect on others is happiness.

You could live in the most basic block of flats with little money, and if you have a Romanian woman as your wife, you will live a fairy-tale.

Romanian women will work magic in your life if they let you in.

How to choose a Romanian girl for a LTR

Read my lips, do not date a secular liberate woman from Romania. Just because her gym honed body, icy cold blue eyes, pale skin and dark hair (this look is common in Romania), have cast a spell on you, does not mean she is a good choice for dating. This is my biggest caveat.

For your own mental well being, if you are looking for a long term relationship, you need to find a girl that is dedicated to Orthodoxy or is a Christian in some form. I do not mean going to church on holidays, I mean someone that is walking the walk.  If not your princess will lack humility and start to be tempted by the jingle in your pocket or worse someone else’s jingle.

Even followers of Zamolxianism (neo-pagans in Romania that have roots in Dacian and Thracian beliefs) are better choices for mates as they have some level of awareness beyond the material. All guys know pagan girls are generally cordial.

I have met guys from the USA and the UK that have dated and then married Eastern European women who are luke warm in their convictions and break up years latter. It all seems good on paper, but it does not work. Why not just find someone you despise and give them your house and half their income for ten years, instead of marrying the wrong woman and wasting time? Divorce rates are low in Romania, just choose one that has a low flight risk. Try to understand how girl thinks and her world view.

V shaped body or virtue shaped choices

Remember, women not shaped by the virtues of meekness and temperance will be unhappy and lead you to the same. Virtue (which means strength) is what governs human fulfilment.

Dating sites if you want to explore Romanian natural resources

I recommend home-grown dating sites rather then Western sites that try to tap into Romanian natural resources when looking for that diamond in the rough.

  • – Native Romanian dating site
  • – Same as above
  • -The portal for messaging females – Look under întâlnire category
  • – Western Style dating with good English/Romanian language interface
  • -The female modern mind in Romanian, but you will need Google translate. In my opinion a lot of the stuff here is typical Western debauchery corrupting the minds of good people.
  • Mobile number and Facebook – You can always find one on FB and convince her to give you her mobile number, then articulate your play though texting.

The psychology women Romanian females

If you understand how Romanian women think will have the edge.  România will surprise you unless you understand where they are coming from. The key take away is there are women in Romania that are humble and non-materialistic and educated and there are those who see a foreign male as an opportunity.

Luckily the proportions are significantly less then in the USA for example.  In the West,  I have personal friends that are females that say they would not marry any man less than a VP status in a company.

Most information online about how to meet Romanian women or relationships and dating in general are lame. As are dating site, unless I review them here. for quality.  My advice is jettison the pop psychology of the Huffington post truism on  relationships, and marry a Christian girl from humble origins and make her your Eastern European Cinderella.

That is all you need to know about psychology and dating.  Think Carl Jung over Freud. Think fairy-tales and  the power of myth over analysis.  Better is to meet the book Roumanian Fairy Tales and Legends – E.B. Mawr, and be able to speak a few love phrases in Romanian. Learn about their culture and language and make them feel proud about who they are. Do not approach women with a pedantic Western superiority complex. Instead learn a little Romanian.

Most Romanian girls at the University do not have a car, but maybe that is why they are in such good shape. There are advantages of not being rich and opulent, that is you have a nice body and learn moderation.

I lived in Eastern Europe a good part of my life.  I am a dual EU American citizen that lives in Eastern Europe. I know a lot about Eastern Europeans as my family was and is Eastern European, even though I was raised in the USA. I have a reasonable perspective on Eastern European girls and feel I can convey useful information on what your normal Romanian girl is looking for in a relationship.

Romanian girl

Myths versus reality about Romanian females

Here is my list:

  • Romanian girls are easy –  The reality is, they are normal girls who want to get married.
  • Romanian girls are looking for a sugar daddy – Just because a country is poor do not assume. I would say you have more chance of being taken to the cleaners by a western girls who files for divorce. You can read a little more about the economics of Romania below.
  • Romanian women are not intellectual – I think most girls I met have a University education, largely because of the legacy of communism providing education. This is in contrast to the UK and the USA which has about 11% of our students going to University. I have noticed Romanians tend to gravitate towards creative fields slightly more than the adjacent countries.
  • Roma and Romanian are synonymous – I can not tell you how many times people in Europe think Romanian are gypsies and this really irritates me. Not that there is anything wrong with Gypsies, but people need to learn some history. Nor Are Romanians Slavic, they are something else.
  • Romanian is a dark, grey post communist country – Some of the best rock climbing and beaches in Europe are in Romania and there is a lot more to it then the Dracula legends. Amazing countryside with natural food grown and down to earth friendly people.
Romanian women chatting away on their cell phones. In Romania only people in the villages really use land line, everyone uses mobile phones. So get your right thumb in condition for texting SMS.

The key to understanding Romanian women

Romanians have three themes in their culture which has influenced the individuals living there.
1. Spiritual depth – The youth might rebel or talk about some country priest who says unenlightened things during the service, but at their center they are Orthodox. In their wallets they have Icons of the Blessed Mother. This means something. Treat these girls like angels as they might be one for real someday.
2. Greatness in their historical past – Romania was a regional superpower for hundreds of years with a rich culture. Read their history, it is not all about Dracula. Read about Herta Müller or Elie Wiesel or Eugene Ionesco and be able to talk intelligently in conversation about the culture of Romania.  If the female does not know these people, mind you, drop her like a bad habit. Only date sophisticated women with a humble nature, no matter how that tight black dress looks on them.
3. Economic hardship – What can I say, on one hand they are EU but on the other hand wages paid are not up to par with what the talent is worth in any major city in Eastern Europe. My message is try to be an entrepreneur with intellectual capital, but that is another subject.

If you want to skip this you can go directly to this section How to win a Romanian women

Spiritual side of Romanian women

Most Romanians do not use their faith to ‘show up’. They believe because they believe and feel that in this life, there is more than just material goods and hyper consumption. Their ideal prince is not only their champion in the traditional sense but has a real spiritual connection, their other half.

Someone they can have a church wedding with. Someone who will raise their children in the faith. Someone who when times are hard will unite in prayer with the. They are not looking for good times and stupid egotistical western guys. Romanian women are looking for real.

Greatness of the past and Romanian ladies

Romanians are the last remnants of the Great Roman empire. Even closer genetically then modern-day Italians. The Romanians are the last of the Ancient Romans. Further, Romania is a full EU country.

As an American and EU citizen I can vouch that the EU is a great place to live. Almost every EU citizen can work and live anywhere in Europe from Bucharest, Rumania to the UK. The country had a lot of interesting history and it has beautiful landscapes with some of the best rock climbing and beaches in Europe.

So if you think you are so cool and flash your cash at a Romanian girl and she will marry you, think again. Romanian girls are not shallow Western girls.

Economics of Romanian dating

The past communist dictator of the country destroyed the economy of Romania. It was a poor country but is now raising from nothing. Romanian economy is quite good now, with textiles and IT leading the charge. I personally look to Romania to do business as the people there are bright and educated.


I will not deny that some Romanian girls have sold their bodies for money. These types of working girls is an  issue in Romania like it is in Dubai, or Istanbul or China or NYC or London.

It is not a Romanian women’s problem but a human issue. Americans women do this also, in fact think of the ridiculous the number of congressman and ‘VIPs” in the US that are caught in this. I am not saying this type of work  is right or wrong, just saying it is a reality. Since people look to examples instead of the rule, some foreigner will see a couple of Romanians at a club in Dubai and make the assumption this is the way it is in Romania. Wrong, it is not this way. Try taking a trip to Bucharest or any village you will not see this. I have seen girls from every country behave this way.

It is certainly wrong if you are married or the women are young, it is a sin. But some 24-year-old Romanian students, for example, might go to Istanbul, Turkey or Dubai UAE to because women lack the self-confidence that they can support themselves in other ways for their education, it is not something that is too wise but I understand it.

Romanian girls that are young are often naive and tempted into selling themselves into kindness  because of their economic situation. My take on this is if somewhere their ideals were lost, but with all people they can be restored. There is not much we can do about the past. But we can have redemption.

  • I should not even write about this but I did because I want to dispel the idea that this is Romanian culture as a whole. It is not more than the culture is in the USA or anywhere else. Get it out of your brain.

Economics of Romania

Most professional people in Romania make less than 1,000 Euro a month, the average is much lower maybe 300 Euro a month.  However, this has to be balanced with the fact things are very cheap. People will complain how pricey flats are etc, but compared to Boston or London, the whole country is a great place to live price wise. If you make 1,000 Euro a month you are doing great and can afford to fix up a flat that grandpa gave you and have a car and you might be 30 years old. In contrast in the USA we have huge, like 100,000 dollars connected with our educations. Even though we are paid more, we have different costs.

Further, if you are Romanian you can go to the UK work as an EU citizen and come back to the countryside and build a house, taking advantage of the purchasing power different. People build their homes with cash in Romania. If you are American you can not go work somewhere richer and pay cash for a house. Further, Westerners have many implicit economic needs, they have expectations about wealth and money. Whereas five Romania guys can go on a cheap flight to London, live in a small flat save money for five years and come back rich. I can not see a western doing that. It is called the Romanian advantage.

Even I have this a little, I can live in the USA without a TV nor car and stash my money away. Most Americans are not so frugal and prefer credit. Look how Brits came to Romania bid up the prices of housing and now it is too high. This is the west.

So I did not mean to go on a tangent but I wanted to explain some basic things about how Romanian girls must exist, good and bad economically.

Beautiful Romanian women – in Gothic style

How to win the heart of a Romanian woman

Based on the above about the faith, history and economics of Romania I can help you chat and meet a Romanian woman. Based on the pics above you, especially the ones at the top of this post you can see what female looks like from Eastern Europe and compare then to the ones you see on your street.

The paradox if EE women is as follows. To win the heart of a woman from the Balkans for love and for you to be your lady friend you have to be not rich, but wise. Not egotistical, but humble is more. Speak very calmly and softly about thing of their culture and language and history and literature. Talk about what you really believe life to be.

Keep it real and make your words match your ideas and courage, that is if you have any. Do not flash money or impress them with your Resume or nice car or other crude things, this will work with ‘new wave’ girls, but these are not the one you want. You want a beautiful dark, mysterious, humble Romanian women from the countryside with dreams and ideals.

Dream of having a Central European princesses

Then together you can make the moon appear in the sky and the stars shine at night. Rich or poor, beautiful or ugly she will love you for who you are and you will live happily ever after. I have travelled the world and seen and experienced many things, good and bad and I know what I am talking about.

As a result of this purgatory I gained some insights for what it is worth. I am very happily married by the way and living a fairy-tale with my princess.

Capture that girl, meet her at the alter in holy matrimony and make her take maternity leave from work.

Want more of a historical context of women in Romania, go here:

Romanian women

More hots of Romanian women and dating advice here:

By Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

413 replies on “How Romanian women think”

I’m Romanian and, thanks God, now I’m living in California. I think that everybody’s expressed opinion is “right” in a certain context, and I’d like to summarize the things that are very specific to Romania:

1. If you are from abroad, you are an interesting person. Romanian females just love to know people from abroad.
2. Females are interested in your status and each country/state has its own status metrics. I would say that in California the following things are important: you are educated (i.e. graduated an Ivy-league university or equivalent), you have a good job and you have a great network of people. Nobody cares about the car you are driving; you won’t impress anybody if you drive a $50.000 car, because many people can afford it. On the other hand, in Romania the education is not that important and nobody cares about your job. The status in Romania, and I can talk about south-eastern part and the capital, is given by the clothes you have, the car you drive and your network of people. There is a huge difference of the people network in CA and Romania; just think that in CA there is no corruption at the bottom of the pyramid (there is at higher level). Now it depends on what type of person are you; if you are highly educated and you want to realize full potential, then you’ll probably have to come in the US. All the females that attracted me were more interested in guys with BMW, than with advanced studies in West. It’s normal, as in the US you pay 200.000$ for a Bachelor, while in Romania it’s extremely cheap.
3. Romanian females are more feminine then the western females, and they put more effort in staying relatively fit. This means eating good food, working out, dress nicely etc.
4. The family history is very important, i.e. who’s your father, how much money the parents give you etc. This is a disadvantage for poor people, as they will have hard time to compete with richer males. This is not the same in California, as people here try to evaluate your potential, rather than your current economic situation.

I know many expats living in Romania and that make me really happy. In the end of the day, Romania is a mix of good and bad things. It’s your job to find the good things and live a happy life. I think that Romania’s competitive advantage is the feminine beauty, but beautiful females you see all over the world.

This is my experience with a Romanian woman in USA. We dated for about 4 months and it was an emotional roller coaster from the fiery place.

She was very smart, as in street smart and book smart. I would even call her some kind of social prodigy so she could be a conniving and manipulative or caring, warm and friendly as she pleased. My theory is that Romanians had to develop very close and trusting social networks during the Securitate years which carried over. Thinking about it she might just have been tripolar

She had and exotic beauty and more over had a certain something that made the time spend together feel magical, half the time. She was weird in that I would ask a question and she would just keep quiet. I would ask what’s wrong and she says: “nothing”, very dismissive when there was obviously something in her mind. She would run to the computer when I was near and she would start messing with stuff.

She was ok in bed and oral friendship was more like a chore for her. I had the feeling that she was promiscuous but I wanted to try and win her over anyway. (Well, broke my wings trying, turns out she was bifriendshipual or experimenting and didn’t know which way to go). She said she was looking for love but come on, carpet munching!

She had a descent job and seemed to be on her way to become Americanized but still had a long way to go.

At the end I think we fed of each other bad moods and I felt I was fighting a loosing battle. Well, long story short she broke my hearth and my hole world became discombobulated. Made me question my faith and beliefs and I resigned my job, moved away, even quit drinking.
Funny thing is to this day I don’t know if given the choice i would want to meet her again on that faithful day. Remains to be seen.

I want to believe that she was the exception to the rule about Romanian woman but seems hard to believe seeing the conditions Romanians grew up in. Google map any street view in ro. and look around. No offense, but add to that the harsh conditions of communism and transitioning periods and you start to understand why they behave the way they do.

All in all I want to say that it made me grow as a person… I have to believe God that He put her in my path for a reason. I am still searching for that reason.

Finally I also agree with other posts, if you date Romanian woman be prepared to put in 3 times the amount of work and lose part of your soul if it ends.

I am a Romanian woman. This is generally accurate. With the risk of tooting my own horn, i think the beauty of a Romanian woman is significantly underestimated. I have lived in the States from the age of 5 but when i travel to my Motherland my mouth drops at the surrounding beauties. Really, Beauties expand FAR beyond S. America and the tropics. Such feminine, mysterious, graceful qualities that Romanian women possess. Most want to marry and naturally search for a “provider” type of male, as all women. We don’t have a “gold-digger” reputation, or not as bad as other nationalities at the least. We adapt well, are witty, and light hearted souls.

I would like to say that Romanian girl are awesome and they are true recently I met one girl Mihaela and she is always true
They are always simple and honest

I just got back from a trip to Bucharest and several towns in Romania. I found the woman I met to be not much different than anywhere in the US. I are intelligent, caring woman that are only looking for their place in life. It is no different than anywhere else.

I agree to a point, but I think Romanian women are more committed than American girls, hey dress better, and they are more willing to accept gender roles. Also they truly appreciate a man that respects them.

I think American girls are in general uneducated and too promiscuous… it is harder and harder to find a good woman in America that is between 25 years and 30 years that does not have a child. I do not want to raise another man’s child, except in the awful case of her being a widow.

I have dated four girls in Romania. The first one was a cop with probable promiscuous past in Italy. I think she loved me but I could not return the sentiment exactly because of her behavior. She was horrendously bigoted against gypsies. Also I had a feeling that she was still promiscuous.

The Second Girlfriend was a gypsy girl. She was very friendshipy and I believe mixed gypsy and Romanian. But, I think her upbringing was gypsy. Immediately she told me she loved me and then tried get me to give her money to help her poor sick mom because they do not have enough income for rent and medication. She may have really liked me, but I am not going to fork out a bunch of money for somebody I just met. I think it may have been a gypsy scam.

The third girlfriend was fun, flirtatious, beautiful, intelligent, and had a career. I felt I love her, but I never told it to her. She is a good woman. I am sure I would have her undivided attention and ‘play chess with’ to her as much as I want. But religion is important to me where this woman is not religious.

The fourth girlfriend I had is great. I feel we are going to get married in a couple years. This woman is very family oriented, friendshipy, and reserved. It took me a year of dating her before she would ‘play chess with’ to me. I am whole-heartedly committed to her. she is very mellow.

Ultimately, every woman is different. But I would say that the girls in general are not as promiscuous as the stereotype of east European girl are. Romanian girls are reserved, they do have relations, but are looking for serious relationships. Also, they are very smart. If you want to date Romanian girls, I suggest you be ready for somebody that wants a serious relationship.

I like Romanian girls the best, but watch out for the ones that are abroad. When you drop a foreign mermaid in a tank full of sharks, they will surely let it go to their head as now they will be “The Most Desirable Woman” in that community. (Talking about America since the number of healthy, slim, beautiful, and smart women are so few.

How ridiculous. You say you’re a religious person but she was not, yet you had no problems using her and sleeping around with so many Romanian women. What a hypocrite you are.

The first girl I met in September 2012. We had relations, but the personalities didn’t jive.

I met the gypsy in November 2012 and didn’t smile at her.

The third on I met in January 2013 and it seemed to be too fast.

The fourth was just what I was looking for.

Have a Christian family is important and I need the woman to believe the same.

You were looking for a Godly woman and trying to have relations with her during the first year of dating? So you continued to tempt this woman until she finally gave in? Remove the Christian identity as you are far from it.

I do not hide that I am a sinner. We are all sinners. I ask that you not lambaste me for this admission. I am a Christian and I strive to better myself as a Christian and as a person. Eventually, the fourth girl turned away from me for the pleasures of the flesh as I waited for her.

I have since found a woman that matches me on all levels. But thanks for being hyper-critical. It always makes great times for interpersonal communications.

Christians are not supposed to have physical relations before marriage.

I was curious why women in Romania were so desired? I admire that they stayed in touch with their femininity, I am from the US and came across this for learning purposes. I am grateful for these examples so that i can better understand myself. its is sad, but true that in America, many women have lost touch with their feminine side which is I why I believe it is so desire, so this I am grateful that you remain true to that. I have my reason why I am so curious as to why their is such a debate, its nice to know that they are not perfect i admit, but maybe its the imperfections that make them perfect. I enjoy learning just like any good women, but I am more curious as to what actions or things they say that intrigue the men so much. I see its either men who fell madly in love and wish they didn’t because they were so captivated or men who saw them as a breath of fresh air.

You miss the point. There are many feminine women in the world that will play you. There are women that will catch your eyes even in the USA. The reason Romanian women are desirable is they are moral, religious and believe in love and marriage is forever in a higher proportion then those in the West. I am not a cultural determinist but look at how few divorces there are in places like India and Romania, yet in the USA and UK it is common place. If you are going to get married find your one and only, not just a girl who you hang out with for a while until the next shiny little thing come along.
Do you want a plastic life or a real life?

Shell, here is my take on the matter. The materialistic movement in America has put many women in a direction of being exactly 100% equal as men. However, they now believe they are superior and many women have begun fulfilling the legitimate roles of men as a result.

What the materialistic movement should have been about was respect for women. I am an American guy and when I look at Romanian women vs. American women, I first see ladies.

Romanian women wear skirts and dresses and do indeed look feminine. They work hard, generally well educated, and mature. They know how to cook from scratch, take care of their physique, and for the most part religious. Finally, my experience is that they put family before self.

These are all attributes that I look for in a partner. I am also able to talk to them easily. When I go to the club, I can see that the women tend to remain reserved somewhat while there are some that get a little crazy.

I really don’t know what to say when pointing out the differences, but I feel desired by a Romanian woman vs a typical American girl.

I am not saying there are not American women that are good. However, usually they are already married… Also, there are many good American women out there that have a child born out of wedlock and personally I do not want the hassle of custody and all of that nonsense. I had to go through it as a child.

To each person there is their reason. I think in summary, what you mentioned about being more feminine, this is the core reason in my opinion, why men are very attracted to Romanian women.

Almost every Romanian girl wants to be beautiful and we take care of us,we try to dress well and to follow the ”fashion flow”(the rich ones dress very well and look like models), we also try to look good and be friendshipy . Most girls in Romania are looking for wealthy men (now to be honest,which woman doesn’t?) or they think they are, but in fact, we all appreciate a man whose tender, affectionate and smart.

You could find gold diggers in every country ,but here, in Romania,the reason that some women act like that is because our country is a poor one and we have to fight hard for everything: a loving husband(for sure you will not find one if you do not have money to take care of you and dress up decently because no one will meet the poor Cinderella) , a decent life,a good job,especially for money.

Usually ,we are religious people, but in the last few years came a trend from the Occident (from U.S.A. mainly) which highly influenced teenagers (I am 17 so I know how they think), and now many would say they are atheists.

Also, many Romanian girls are well-educated and have manners , study and party hard. We have to study and do our best at school because otherwise we’ll have no chance for a good future,and our parents tell us that since we’re young.So we learn English, we pass Cambridges, IELTs, TOELFs,were good at maths and informatics(not my case, I’m more like the artistic type) we are really sociable and we like tourists because we are attracted by almost all that’s ‘foreign’.

We are proud of our country and our culture,but we’re disgusted by the corrupted and mal-intended people that rule our country, so we usually go study abroad and have a success life there. I personally would like to go to study fashion design in England and have my career start there. If you look for smart, well-looking,pretty , romantic,knows how to love, but parties hard,like hard, knows to dance ‘Wiggle’,is interested in fashion, but reads with pleasure either Dan Brown,the Brontes,or Fifty Shades of Grey, reads books of history and geography but also watches corn (I described here me and my close friends ,and I know are many other girls like us in Romania).

Sure we have defects,we can be odd and look like maniacs, or materialistic,or call girls or you might tag us as ‘gypsies’,we might have some extra or less pounds than we need,but if you’ll know where to look and you’ll know how to appreciate us,you’d might be the lucky one to find a beautiful Romanian girl that loves you. The end of my novel .

I take issue with one aspect of it. That is Americans export atheism to Western Europe. I am very religious as are my friends and I think the USA is a country of faith. I think each person is responsible for their own soul and awareness in this life. If one chooses the dark side or a life of lack of faith it is their free will. If they are too weak to have the courage of their convictions this will be an issue that will manifest itself in their life. My friends that are non-believers all have bad relationships. My friends that have a deep spiritual union have a fairy-tale life. You comment is welcome and I invite more from you, interesting perspective.

“I take issue with one aspect of it. That is Americans export atheism to Western Europe.”

America is very bi-polar, half very religious, half very atheist. Hollywood for the most part is the latter, and they are the ones doing the exporting.

Also, Romania is Eastern Europe. 🙂

For people who choose not to live a life of faith, they are swindling themselves out of the best thing in life. My friends that are faithful are generally normal and live a happy life. Those who do not have faith in my experience are pretty messed up people. Chasing the dollar or perpetual players but not happy in my view of that. If Eastern Europe wants to experiment with the secular humanism then they will find themselves like the west, swallowed by drugs and promiscuity, divorce and hyper consumptive behavior until the rustic quality of life or deep feelings are gone and everyone is a cell phone Facebook zombie.

Hi Izabel,

I am Belgian man, living here also, and I can not agree about your saying that no one will choose a poor looking Cinderella. That means that a man judges the book by his cover, and that is wrong doing.
I met here in my country a Romanian woman, working here to support her son in Romania to go to university.
She is not fancy dressed, but after meeting her, I fell in love. She has a real good look, intentions and view on live, realistic not materialistic. I love that, a simple life with the priorities correctly placed.
So Izabel, do ‘t judge too fast girl.

My name is Alex and I am Romanian. I feel bad for the Greek guy but I think he was just unlucky to have had that bad experience with that girl. I’ve been in a relationship with a local Romanian girl for almost 8 years (from which 3 we were engaged). She was a very simple girl, with a pretty good financial situation (better than me that’s for sure), gorgeous looking girl, with a degree in Geography and English, really smart and religious girl (basically every guys dream girl). i was very much in love with her, maybe still am a bit, however i ended our relationship 4 years ago,as i felt something was missing from my view of life. I have had in the past some bad relationships, mostly with girls from different nationalities, but never thought that all the girls are alike. There is always a good half waiting for you if you keep on searching for it, but you have to really want it. I don’t think think Romanian girls are more smarter, or more beautiful than the rest of the girls from other countries, but they really are good persons and more sincere than the others. Every tree has some bad fruits, that doesn’t mean you should stop eating from it.

I’m a college-educated American who’s been volunteering weekly at a community meal program for 9 of the last 10 years. Please bear with the slow start- it gets somewhere.

Editor’s note: this is a Romanian love story. A story that others can learn from, a Romanian romantic parable if you will.

Ten summers ago, my church’s custodian noted I’d been single for a while and suggested that I go volunteer at this community meal program- held on Tuesdays at this other church- to meet a girl there. So the first part of the year I practically focused some on that. But during the latter part of the first year- as I was making myself really useful around the place- finding someone dropped lower on my priorities. Since then, most importantly, I’ve enjoyed the time and friendships and relationships with long-attending volunteers formed there. Ten years later, they’re practically family now.

Just last year during summer 2013, one of our beloved dining room coordinators moved on, and we received another one. At first this new one talked very little whenever she came to the kitchen; I thought it was just her nature. So I’d engage her in conversation but she wouldn’t say more than five words at a time. To me, she was well-versed in the art of small talk. And she struck me as being a bit robotic in several ways, even emotionally.

Months passed. She was finally settling into her role as our new DRC. I continued engaging her in conversation. I soon learned she is a university scientist. I’d learn that she is Romanian-American and also Christian. We’d talk more and share not only a few of our favorite Christian Bible verses, but our favorite colors and pastimes, too.

Earlier this summer we’d asked each other how long we’d been volunteering there at the meal program. She told me and I told her I’d volunteered each month except when I lived abroad in Korea. Then I told her about Korean soap operas over there and what’s spectacular- and I keep telling her this (even today)- was the way her eyes sparkled when she talked about her love for Korean soap operas.

Fast forward to today. I’ve been complimenting her and subtly flirting with her since last summer and- when I sensed she wasn’t getting the hint- I finally invited her to go on a walk with me. She already had other plans. But I believe she finally sensed that I like her!

Weeks would pass since we’d talk again. Which is today. This evening she brings back some flowers from the dining room, holding in her hand a folded note.

I smile and teasingly ask “Ahh…”
She smiles back while opening the note to read it.
“Is it a secret admirer?” I ask.
She says the name and adds,”He’s asking me to get coffee with him.”
I just raise an eyebrow and smile at her.

“No, I’m not interested.”

We have been volunteering together for just over a year. I love that I’ve finally gotten to see her spontaneous, care-free side that- as a scientist- she’d been hiding really well. She is Romanian-American and I believe she guards her heart because she wants to marry someone who’s sincere, warm, funny, committed and shares at least her spiritual level of faith. I want to be sure if I am (or am not) that guy for her. Only time and our level of interaction with each other will tell.

Here’s the latest on my courtship with a Romanian-American volunteer. Maybe courtship is too strong a word at this point, but it isn’t just flirting. My intents and interest are sincere.

Two weeks ago, she returns to set up things for our community meal dinner.
Maybe I’ve telegraphed my interest since I asked her out on a walk in October this year. But as you know, this is what happens when a guy expresses interest. She pays closer attention to everything I say and do now, probably analyzing everything. What can I say? She’s a university scientist! I love watching desirable women walk by. So one noteworthy detail came as I walked into our pantry, door ajar as she- about forty feet away- walks further before turning into a storage room. I’m getting some coffee mix from the pantry when out of the corner of my eye someone’s walking away. It’s her!
I pause to stare from what I think is a kind of secret spot to watch.
I stare for only two whole seconds when she comes to a complete stop. She turns to smile at me and stare back!
I’ve been caught! So what do I do? I smiled wider, and give her a ‘thumbs up gesture’ while thinking to myself, “Oh my God! She caught me staring at her!”

Fast forward to this Tuesday.

I usually write and draw the food menu on the whiteboard but tonight I arrive late to I find her writing it out. I halfway sneak up on her which didn’t work this time. She starts to leave the rest to me but I ask her to finish, so we both do the menu together.
Next, we talk about random things. She dresses nice casually and looks *ahem* great in long boots. But what’s noteworthy is, as she comes through the kitchen entrance I happen to be standing near the middle of the walkway. Wanting to talk, I open:

“Let me get out of your way.”

She smiles warmly and says, “You’re fine”, walking on.

“Why thank you,” I add jokingly, and wasting no time I join her, steadily walking with her, side by side.

“And so are you,” I add, smiling, and looking her in her eyes, her lips, and back at her eyes.

Slowing down our walk, for a moment our gazes are locked, our faces only inches away.
She blinks faster, blushes and smiles, we part ways, and she finds what she entered the kitchen for in the first place.

She is a scientist, so there is no doubt in my mind that she’ll be analyzing our interactions.

Now and again, I play it again in my head; I have a good laugh about our encounters, even now.
I’m looking forward to next Tuesday.

Hi, it’s me again… It’s time to update my courtship with a certain someone I like. I’ll cut to the chase. As an artist with a knack for light handmade crafts I make them often. In my case it involves creating handmade cards. On Sunday night I made one for my love interest. So I bring it in, greet everyone and it turns out she volunteers tonight again.
As I arrive I see that she’s left the whiteboard open for me to do tonight’s menu from scratch.

I want to express my appreciation for her hard work at our community meal program, and my appreciation for her as a person. Also curious to see if there’s any change in her normal response with me during the course of the evening, I decide against giving her the card at the end of the night… instead I give it to her immediately. My impulse is to hug her but I control myself.

While approaching her I utter, “This is for you, from me”, The card exchanges hands. She takes it, quickly turns, walks a few steps away and says “Awwww…” I leave her alone so I go work on our dinner menu.

Moments later I step into the kitchen for more markers when our dining room coordinator comes in dressing festively in green and red stripes… like a Christmas elf. I remark on this favorably. It just so happens that our favorite cook is wearing red and green, too.

“Oh, It was coincidental,” by her own admission.
It just so happens that my favorite person is in the kitchen with all of this happening, so I broadcast my “looking her over”.

“Hey (name),” I smile as I broadcast out in the open, “now I’m looking you over for Christmas colors. Hmm. I don’t see any. But you’re wearing those boots I like.”

And she smiles, then walks into the pantry.

I really enjoy seeing her walk.

Being my usual self I engage her in conversation over the course of the meal. Our cues are really nice- she’s making longer eye contact with me, seems to be comfortably physically closer face to face- and coyly blushes- something I feel good about.

I casually ask her:

“What was the last book you read that you couldn’t put down?”
“Oh, It was (so-and-so).
“Ahh. What genre was it?”
“Aww, come on. You can tell me.””
“It’s… it’s a Romance.”

She explains the nature of the story.
As she’s a scientist, she doesn’t have much time to read anything outside of lab manuals and other “science-y” stuff.

“Alright,” I say teasingly, I’m gonna check into this book you’ve read.”
(Sure enough, just an hour later- after our shift ends I renew some books at my local library…where I then request the book.)
She’s smiling more often, hair flipping, and opening up more. By now she really knows that I like her. I want to be sure I don’t come on as too intense. I enjoy our interactions and when the time feels right, will ask her out again.

I couldn’t help but comment here after reading this article.
First off I find your view a bit too idealistic, you are not writing about how it is in Romania or how women are there, but you are writing about how you would like it to be or what you have experienced.

Fact is Romania has an over abundance of “Working Girls”, most of them just got out of Highschool, another fact is that Romanian women are prone to cheating, these are all things I’ve seen and some I heard, even my Romanian girlfriend told me that Romanian women cheat all the time, and she also told me that Romanian women are very impressed by your wealth, hell she said all it takes is to own a car and you can pretty much score a cordial girl. Lets not even talking about if you own more than one car or a house. Yes they are VERY impressed by your resume, the fact is most of them are shallow even the smart ones are shallow, but if you look just right you can see the intelligence.

The thing is you said all the things I’m saying right now, you just didn’t realize you were saying them, the fact that you chose to mention “working girls” already tells me that is a topic of wide acceptance and discussion, yes women everywhere do it, however Romania is the primary headquarters for his type of thing. Also you agreed with how shallow they are by mentioning how “not unintelligent they are”. The mere fact that you decided to shine a light on these things tells me that it is one of your primary concerns.

There is much more, but I’m boring myself now, anyway, I’ll say one thing it is hard work to get a RO girl but man it is worth it.

PS: 90% of Romanian women exhibit some level of sociopathic behavior, compulsive lying, and kleptomania. – Please try not to let this discourage you because she will be the Bonnie to your Clyde, the only way it will work however is if you’re smarter than her, if she can pull a fast one on you, she will quickly realize it because they are always testing you and looking for weaknesses, so my advice is either don’t have any or bull your way through it.

Lazarus, you didn’t paint a very flattering picture, so how is it worth it to get a Romanian girl?

This girl I feel for does not reply to my text messages.

I am in my late 30s, met a Romanian girl, also in her late 30s at few of the events organized by a forum where primary objective is just to meet people and socialize. Dating is not a primary objective of the forum. Could have worked out for few which I am not aware…. First time we just had casual chat and got to know about her name, country, professional background etc. This chat lasted for around twenty minutes. I felt the girl was quite nice and charming. Normally, on this forum contact information is not shared but just enables user a Facebook type of messaging on the portal. Nothing more unless one mentions explicitly. For couple of subsequent events I asked her if she could join but she excused about her busy schedule (on portal message only). We had no contact for almost 2 months. Suddenly, I saw her again in similar event and we spoke for almost two hours. For entire event she spoke to me almost all the time. Usually for these events people hang around and are interested talking to multiple folks. Neither of us felt doing so. I sensed that she enjoyed the conversation too. I had quite a very happy feeling after speaking to her and she asked me if I would attend the musical concert the following day. I mentioned about my per-scheduled plan for the next day. After coming back home, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I dropped her a note on portal that I had a nice time speaking to her and would love to join the concert. But I had no response which she usually did for not attending previous events.

By this time I almost determined to continue relationship with her and thought if I would ask her contact information so that we could catch-up for coffee or may be dinner. We spoke for some time just before the concert, but as soon as it finished, she said she wanted to go back home. I couldn’t understand her quick departure. All three conversations we spoke about general stuff – our families, cultures, hobbies, travel, our professional lives, future job plans and many other topics. But never discussed about past personal lives. I thought it would not be appropriate in the second meeting and didn’t want to spoil the good conversation.

Two days later after this concert, she had a birthday which she mentioned sometime ago on the portal (now removed) and I marked the date. I wished her on the portal with a message (bit flowery though) and waited for another 3 days to see her response back, but no luck. We both are away from our home countries and kind of expats in another country.

Did I sound bit desperate ? No response from her is making me anxious each day and for some reason I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. Not sure if I have fallen in love just after few hours of intense and connected conversation. Any suggestions? What should I do next? Could she be feeling the same way I do? I am not even sure if she would show up for similar events in the future. But I really do not wish to loose her and quite serious about long term relationship if things work out.

The connection is not strong enough for her to take you as serious as you take her. Your hormones and bonding mechanism is in play as men tend to get this faster than girls because of evolution, we are the ones that have to chase women, but women only get this over time. I think you have something that does not interest her to the full extent for her to consider you, I would say perhaps you are from a different culture and this is the barrier.

Thanks for response. Normally when you speak and for some reason you couldn’t connect, you can sense the uneasiness in the body language and conversation gets bit harder.  All three meetings I never had the slightest hint of any such thing. May be I am incorpulentuated with her. Not sure what she would have thought though. Yes as you rightly said, we are from different backgrounds. I am Indian origin. 

I can see that she is coming to another event which I have already signed up for. Shall I approach her ? Or wait for her to speak on her own ? Suggestions?

Cheers !!

Just try to be friendly with her. If you are compatible you will might end up being friends anyway.

And I don’t mean try to be her friend to end up being her boyfriend. I mean be her friend because I assume you are a man abroad (with fewer local contacts) and I’m assuming that you actually like her as a person.

It’s always nice to be friends with nice people locally especially when you are an expatiate. p.s.

Yes, approach her and ask her if you could be friends. You will find out if she likes you (platonically) as a person or not.

I think you should back off. You’re being a bit too pushy considering her interest in you is way smaller then yours in her. Say “hi” to her when you go to the event, small chat for 2 minutes tops and then go and talk to other people. She’ll come to you if she’s interested in spending time with you. If she’s an expat, maybe she just needs someone to hang out with and when you show signs of being interested in a different way, she shuts down because she doesn’t want things to evolve in that direction.

Hi All: I recently fell in love with a very attractive Romania girl. Her and I used to talk a lot and she told me that she is falling in love with me. However she is a camgirl, I won’t mention the site.

So I spent a lot of my hard earned money on the site to meet her alone in a private room. We would talk for hour upon hours. Late into the evening, sometimes I would be up until 5 or 6AM before we finally ran out of time, or one of us got too tired and just couldn’t keep my eyes open. Well she took a huge chance and gave me her actual number, I know it was her because she gave me her Skype and she called me while on Skype to show me it was her real number. She also gave me her Viber and WhatsApp (both which they are not allowed to give out.) Generally camgirls are not allowed to talk to people outside the site. She risked it to talk to me more.

I work from 3PM to 10-11PM central time. So for her that’s close to 6AM or even 7AM. Sometimes she would wait in her private room for me to come home and I would log on to the site purchase credits and we’d talk for hours. I used to spend a lot of money on the site. Then I ended up running out of money, I don’t make a lot of money so It was hard to sustain and keep up.

I maxed out a few credit cards in the process and I am not happy about it. She claims she’ll never leave and I asked her the other day, “out of all the guys you met online, why me?” I wasn’t trying to sound like a complete jerk, I wanted to know why she picked me and fell in love with me. She told me “You’re different. You looked for my inner beauty and you don’t just see me as someone who has a nice set of boob or a nice ass. You want me for me.” Then she goes on to say that “You always want marriage and that’s what I want as well.” None of this scares me at all.

Well she sleeps a lot now cause she is depressed and wants to get better, she is seeking treatment and doing whatever she can to get better. She recently told me “Tomorrow I am getting up to go get a passport.” I assumed she was getting one to fly in to the U.S. and come here with me, the problem is, my funds have been virtually depleted to nothing, and she tells me ‘you say things on Skype but you never show me, you never show me you love me any more. You tell me with words but you never have enough money to help me out online.’

Now there is this 60+ yr old guy who has been helping her for years and I mean years. He’s more established then me and I don’t know his line of work but she told me:
“my friend who helps me has like 10,000 on a credit card.” I told her well he’s more established then me, I used to have 3 or 4 grand to help you but don’t any more. She gets mad at me constantly but yet has stuck by me. She hardly talks to me on Skype because of her depression. I want to keep going but my funds have been bleed dry and sometimes I wish I could ask her. “Do you feel bad at all for taking so much of my money?”

However her being depressed it’s advised not to yell or make them feel bad, because it will make them feel worse.

Since I’ve been unable to help her the old guy is constantly helping her online and she tells me “He proves to me daily that he cares more about me then you do, you just talk a big game but never show me.” There are times I just want to cry and tell her that I am no longer going to keep up with the masquerade. She got livid at me the other day cause I wanted to ask her something and I said ‘Hello’ on Skype and she responded ‘Why do you yell at me.’ So I felt bad and told her I wouldn’t do it again. She barely talks to me but insists we are still together and she’ll never leave. She has told me numerous times, that she’ll be on a plane to come and be with me. I have bought into the lies but don’t know how much more of the nonsense I am willingly to let slide.

Is it worth the fight. I’m able to help her but not as much as I could before, I was helping her daily, this was back in November-January. I’ve run out of the thousand dollar or more credit cards I have and can barely tread water. I love the girl and I tell her this constantly and I once said ‘You know I love you, right?’ Her respond nearly broke my heart. “You know you keep saying that you become boring?” I feel its important to say those words to some who is depressed to reassure them that everything will be fine.

Do I keep going or should I just let it go. She’ll talk to the 60+ yr old guy all the time and push me away, she is upset because of the money I lack and that I yelled. This older guy has a girlfriend so I shouldn’t feel threatened at all.

Any advice? Tips?

If you feel you need to pay for a girl, why do you not just find a real one next door and take her shopping.

Cut your losses. Women and money do not mix. Love and money are opposites. Run do not walk away, I know it is hard but this sounds like the opposite relationship you deserve. I am sorry you experienced for that. If she loved you and has not money, not even if she has no Internet, she can take the time to hand write letters via the mail system, long hand written letters and so can you. I know people who have carried on relationships with way and married over fifty years.

But when you start talking websites with credit cards and cams and other men and trips, this sounds to be is a warning sign that something is rotten in Denmark. No matter what you are feeling it might not be the optimal way to start a relationship and carry one one.

About your credit cards, pay them off. There are many ways to start to do this. I grow my own food for example in my yard, do anything you can to get paid off. But do not mix money and love in any way. You can carry on a respectable relationship with a female abroad without spending more than a hundred dollars.

Snakeeyes11: having been scammed long term by two lying Romanian women, I feel your pain. In fact I still cry about it every day. There’s a 99% chance you’ve been scammed. You’ve got one option and one only. Take a month, go to Romania and see if she’s real. I can pretty much guarantee she’s not, but if you feel you must, do it. Just don’t do what I did and keep sending money.

Your first mistake was maxing out your credit cards in order to talk to a camgirl. Your second mistake was talking to a camgirl. I don’t want to sit here and berate you because that’s unfair, but you should have spent your money on something else. Camgirls for the most part only care about the money. They don’t care about you as a person unless you’re rich.

If you wrote this as a fable describing the worst case scenario to help many us feel better about our “camgirl” mistakes, thank you! If you are living this? Man, I feel for you, and then again I don’t. I have dumped a princely sum into this entertainment and like you, singled out a special “friend,” but I could afford it, don’t regret it and never let it become debt. One difference is mine never asked for “help,” but that didn’t stop my generosity inside and outside her room (yes, I had verified direct contact outside of the site). To her credit, she never led me on or encouraged me in any way, but she didn’t say stop either.

For four years now I have been her customer and friend and this young woman IS very dear to me. Following a life of several “traditional” relationships (a 15 yr marriage early on too), this “relationship” filled the space I needed to figure out what I really want from here on out. For me this was a very interesting and enjoyable experience that opened up my awareness of the other side of the world that has led to a much expanded pursuit of history and geography, which bored me to tears when I was in school.

My advice to you? Cut your losses, swallow your pride and look at his as a very expensive education that you should not waste now that you have paid for it.

What is with this myth that Romanian women want to get married as soon as possible? And why should they come from the countryside? I guess by humility, you mostly mean being submissive and “obedient”. It is the same with corpulente. In Romania, people are manipulated with and through religion. We are kept ignorant, silent and in our place with religion. Moreover, almost no humble, religious girl from the countryside will have a good education. Therefore, what you get is an obedient, indoctrinated wife that, as you said, will never leave you. This whole article seems like business advice to me, than reality about women.
One last point, communism did not encourage or provide university degrees. On the contrary. And even if it did (it did not), your Romanian girl would be at least 45 years old, since communism was abolished in 1989 and she would have had to be at least 20 tears old at that time.

I went to Romania for the first time back in 2010. Met a girl on line and went to meet her. She was rather young and I was 49. Although the big age difference, she was attracted to me. Now keep in mind, I am not your average guy this age. I am big into fitness and in better shape than guys half my age. I don’t look my age at all.

Needless to say, I moved on from this girl, but we are still friends to this day. She is on my Facebook page. I just decided to stay single and go out with these beautiful Romanian women. It was lots of fun and I went out with some of the most beautiful women you can imagine. I will tell you and I heard a guy mention this, stay away from Cam girls, they are scammers and only want your money. Sure some will even have relations with you to take your last dollar. I am street smart and was not easily fooled. If a girl mentions money, leave her. Move on to the next one.

If you are looking for physical relations, just visit your local massage parlor. I was not looking for that, more to go out and party and let my hair down. Just to be with a beautiful girl and show my jealous friends back home was good enough for me. I was going about every 3 to 4 months for 2 weeks at a time. I ran into one girl who was stunningly beautiful. I mean she would make guys jaws drop. Her name was Anda and she also was just a real good person and humble. I was amazed she liked me just as much. I am though an outgoing person with a good sense a humor. I can talk to anyone. No girl is going to fall in your lap. Well after 2 dates with these beautiful girl, I ran into Laura. I wa smitten from the beginning. She not only had looks, but her personality was very outgoing, crack jokes and sharp as a tack. Yes, I stop seeing Anda for Laura. My second date with Laura, who is 23 years younger then me, I told her I want her as my girlfriend. Her actual words” What? You hardly know me, slow down!” I told her I was coming back to Romania to just see her and she didn’t believe me. Well, me being very persistent, she eventually gave in and fell in love with me. She had a little girl that the father left behind. Cute as can be. Too make a long story short, we have been together 5 years now and married for close to 2 years. I brought her to USA with her daughter on a K1 Visa. This is where you guys need to pay attention. She hated it here. I live in false CA and she is a traditional orthodox girl. We talked about me moving back to Romania with her to retire. I didn’t listen to her needs here and she was so bored after living in a big city like Bucharest, she went into depression. Never mind her father and grandmother died while she was here. She plead for me and wanted to move back to Romania.

I moved her back. Now there is some good news here, we still have a great relationship. I am self employed and able to go to Romania anytime I want. We love each other and I am going to move there. The cost of living is so low, even with a SS retirement of 1500 USD you would be well off. I plan to open a business there and buy a house. So, my wife could give a crap about a green card or what America has to offer, but a traditional girl like her will love you to death and for life. Her daughter, who never knew a father calls me Dad. That alone was worth all those trips. Most Romanian girls are not going to marry you just to come to America. They love their country, even being poor. If you are still interested in a good looking Romanian girl, marry a traditional Orthodox one.

Stay way from club girls and don’t be foolish with cam girls either. They will take your money and run. My relationship is beautiful, mostly due to us being Godly people. You do need to go to Romania many times and take you time and don’t expect the moon. Best wishes for everyone to have a great relationship as I do.

There you have it pure and simple. If you are looking for a wife, go for looks just do a reality check about morality. And morality can not be a general humanistic spiritual ethic because this is not radical enough. These are exactly the type of women that have a high flight factor. It has to be someone that has a real commitment to their religion, they are obsessed with walking the walk.

Romanian girls not recommend. I was in an online relationship with a Romanian girl for many years. She used to tell me that i am her everything and she loves me a lot. We had been planning to marry this year but suddenly i came to know that she has a boyfriend there and they have been in relationship from few years and making love and all the stuff. She just ruined my life. I wish i had never fell in love with her.

How many hours a week did you spend in church and saying the rosary with her? It is a relevant question, it is an orthodox country.

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