Can someone of the Islamic faith who is in love with a non-believer of the Islamic faith marry that person?
There are two points:
- Is not God love? God is the universal loving compassionate father and Divine creator of all that is seen and unseen. If one dies, one passes into unconditional acceptance and love of God, we return to the source from which we all came.
- Are we not all children of the same God? There is no God but God. If we learn to love and accept our brothers and sisters then this is imitating God’s spirit. Remember none of us are perfectly righteous under the law, as we all sin, it is the divine that understands and forgives all.
Therefore for example, yes an Indian Hindu guy can marry a Muslim girl if they are both deeply in love. You do not need my permission, I am no one. Rather, ask God and listen to what he tells you in your heart. There is your answer.
In your honest moment of prayer, can you hear a resounding – ‘ yes’?
Again I am not a Muslim and I have no answer. Rather I am asking you to ask God in prayer and listen to what answer comes up. How does God speak to you and your partner? There is your answer. Do not let others tell you the ‘truth’. Rather let God the almighty guide you in prayer.
The word religion means to return to the source. The source being God.
The rest of this post is various perspectives on the issue that will clarify the points of view from a logical perspective.
As a Muslim, with Jews and Christians I would believe in the one and only God of Abraham, the gracious and merciful creator, who sustains all human beings and brings them to consummation.
Like many Muslims even of former centuries I would have difficulty in understanding the Qur’an as a literally revealed book, as it were dictated by God. And I would whether the Qur’an as word of God was not also the word of man, the word of the Prophet Muhammad. Even so, the Qur’an could reveal itself to me as the truth, the way and the life. – Hans Kung
My recommendation is read about the possibility of an ecumenical dialogue between people who does not include just understanding, but also to ‘co-operate’ and even love each other.
What if you prefer to marry someone who is Muslim?
I am with you, that I prefer to marry someone of my own religion, and I did. Sure my wife and I are of the same religion and it is all clear. But you know being a servant of God, is also about accepting all God’s children in their language of expression or religious rituals.
What if you fall in love with someone who calls God by a different name, but is devout and prays five times a day and fasts and reads the Holy book, but does not call themselves Muslim. But just lives a life of compassion and in submission to God’s will, is this not better than some one who is call Muslim but does not live their life according to the Koran? What would God say?
Many non-Muslims live according to the ideals of Islam without being officially Muslim. Just like many non-Christians live in accordance to the words of Jesus without calling themselves Christians.
I would call these people anonymous Muslims. They in act, word and deed live according to the laws of conduct of Islam, they might pray five times a day even and fast, and read the Holy book, but are not Muslim.
Marrying a Muslim man – What women experience
From the women I know in Poland, that have married Muslim guys they are mostly happy. Not all but I would say a higher percentage than what you might find in Western culture. The ones that get a good Arab man, are happy and use the phrase “he treats me like a queen”. Others I have heard do not work out or have tried to marry for a EU passport. Lets be honest this happens.
Muslim women marrying a Non-Muslim man
Under Islamic law it can not happen, but of course Arab women marry Christians. I live in America and the dating culture here is mixed and no one cares too much about the strict rules, rather they focus on the person not their background. The guys I know that married Arabic women are happy. Their women are attractive and the girls like the lax American culture. Even if a Arab girl is ‘liberal’ that just means she cooks five or six days a week, and had only one boyfriend before. However, I can not imagine this type of marriage could be possible in Saudi Arabia or Pakistan or Bangladesh. A lot of Indian guys would like to try to date Arab or Middle Eastern women, even when working in Dubai. Maybe for dating, but not for marriage unless you move to the USA.
Parental argument for marrying a Non-Muslim
If you are a parent, lets say a loving father, would you not want your daughter or son happy? Would you not want them to marry the person they choose? If you teach them right trust they will make the right choices in life. And even if they do not it is their life and they will learn.
Similarly our heavenly Father loves us even more than we can imagine. His energy is love, compassion, forgiveness and mercy. Would not our Father in heaven also want the best for us?
Don’t you think that our understanding of the Holy book and our understand of the Prophets is inadequate because we are not pure enough to have the wisdom? The Prophet Mohammed was blessed, but we are not. I certainly am not.
For example, I am a Christian and after a lifelong study of Jesus I do not understand the meaning of his words.
However, one message I think God would want us to convey to our fellow brothers and sisters on this earth is this:
- It is the spirit of the law and not the letter of the law something that matters. Faith is from the heart and seen in action, not words.
Our Heavenly father sees all and knows what is in our heart. We want to make sure our hearts are filled with love and understanding as this I believe is what is in God’s heart.
If you are deeply and really in love with a person, what does it matter the color of their skin or the language in which they express their faith?
Stricter interpretations of the Qu’ ran
I am a humble servant of God and do not understand the Koran. So anyone reading this forgive my ignorance and I invite you to correct me and instruct me.
The Qur’an says that a Muslim can marry a Christian or Jewish girl under certain circumstances.
- Tafseer al-Qurtubi, 6/104
- al-Baqarah 2:221 The Qur’an prohibits married to an unbeliever. But is God not God of all? If you are Christian or Jewish we call God the same. A nonbeliever is about someone who is an atheist, not a chaste devout woman who has faith and believes in the prophets.
- al-Maa’idah 5:4
Are the relevant verses that talk about this. I do not read Arabic but this is what I read though a translation.
Love God before anything else
The basis of banning an interfaith marriage in Islam is one should love God first before anything else. zakir naik and Indian Muslim expect on world religions. He even owns a TV channel in Dubai. But he is no expert on life. I agree, Love God first and foremost. This is in my region also. Jesus said this. But my understanding is the way you love God is love your neighbor. Love and accept those who are foreign to you. This is loving God.
Sure we all love prayer. This connection to God and the almost mystical experience of devout prayer, but let’s be honest God we all have the spark of God in us since we are from God, this is called a soul. I can think of no other way to be closer to God than love to fellow humans. This includes romantic love and marriage.
Ahl-al Kitab idea of marriage
I think this division is too strict an interpretation. I mean some scholars would way that even Indian Christians are not people of the Book. There is too much ‘religion’ not enough love in their message.
Hindu men marrying Islamic women is this allowed?
If I was in love I would. God not men make a union
Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men and female Gazi
For example, Ani Zonneveld the Editor of the Progressive Muslim gives examples of Muslim females marrying outside their faith.
- She says not a single line in the Koran says that a Gazi has to be a man.
- Nikham can be between two people in love
- Mehr does not need to be materialistic
- An outline for rules for men exist but not for women in the Quran
- Islam is meant to be liberation and an interfaith nikah structured with full respect
- Professor Khaleel Muhammad believes the Koran can be understood with respect and honoring The Prophet and yet allow for Muslim women to marry non-Muslims.
- Cultural practices have ruled over the liberating understanding of the Holy Book.
Why Islam has a restrictions on marriage?
The world is a war of ideas – Schopenhauer – Die Welt als Wille und Vorstellung
Every system of ideas from religion to communism to capitalism to scientific materialism tries to expand and dominate the world. It is almost like ideas have a life of their own. In the modern world, without crusades and conversion by the sword, the way religions propagate is though making sure the children will carry on the faith.
Now, do not get me wrong. I believe in God and my hope is others in the world have faith. It is my dream that the world is unified in faith and love. Sometimes at night I imagine this. For those with faith you know what I am talking about, connection with the Divine and divinity within others is the meaning of your life. I want to bring my child up in the faith. It is because this is what I believe to be true.
Yet the reason you should want to bring your children in the faith and take a spouse of the same faith (Muslim or non-Muslim) is not because the rules say so, but because you believe it in your heart this is what is right. I do not care about the rules of my religion. I really do not. I care about what is in my heart.
I invite Muslims to consider this.
Now what is in your heart might be congruent with the rules of your faith. But remember the rules of your faith are interpreter my humans and we are all imperfect. There are many brothers and sisters in Islam that disagree about the Interpretations.
For example, Muslim women have written that their interpretation of the Koran is women can marry non-Muslim’s and still this to be a valid matrimony. Other say they can not. They key thing here is what does your heart tell you about the Koran. How does Allah speak to you in your heart. This is called authenticity and being honest with yourself. If you are in love, do you think Allah would really want to keep you apart? Yet on the other hand, I have written many times, have a similarity of world view is part of the love equation.
A metaphor is faith like in one’s life and relationship?
Faith is like in a blue candle the color is so integrated into the wax, you can not separate the wax from the candle when it burns. This is the life of a human also.
Or to use another metaphor, consider two patters that are woven together in marriage. You want your patters to match or be similar or the couple does not get along as well.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Again do not use me as an example. I pretty much follow the rules of the Roman Catholic church concerning marriage and love and my wife is Catholic like me. I am just saying if you are in a situation where you might be in love, I would not rule anything out.
I am from a country where I have seen all kind of mixing of religion and people’s. I mean look at President Obama. The norm is the US is assimilation and a melting pot. It does not mean you betray your faith, it just means your faith might not be the story book faith of your youthful conceptions.
For example, as a Christian many people do not believe in evolution. That is plain silly. God creation the universe but creation is a scientific fact. So do not let someone else’s conception of your faith mislead you to what you as a divine person know to be true.
Scenarios that could work
- American guy marrying an Iranian or Iraqi girl. The couple would have to live in the US and it would be questionable if the family back home would accept or allow this.
- Arab guy with an American girl. Most likely they would live in the USA or Europe.
- Arab guy with a European girl.
The general idea behind taking a non-Muslim bride
Nobility comes from spirit not blood – It is better to marry a slave who believes than an unbeliever that is attractive and respected.
- Mushrik – The girls of the ahl al-Kitab can marry Muslims. But these girls can not be in name only believers, but devout. Many girls in the west are not Monotheistic believers in the God of Abraham, Jacob, and Issac, but are atheists or agnostics. I think the latter would be called Mushrik.
- Actions not hollow words – Is it not more important a persons acts than hollow professions of faith even if in their heart they do not believe. So find a girl who believes in her heart, it does not matter as much, Muslim, Christian or Jewish.
The Islamic theory in the Hadith and other ideas need to be followed. Women by their nature are more emotionally weak and can be influenced. That is why it is OK from a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim girl but not the converse. Read what the Blessed Prophet Muhammad wrote.
Further the children must be raised as Muslims and all traditions of Islamic culture need to be respected in the marriage.
After all is said and done, I personally recommend that if you are a believer, do not to marry an unbeliever.
Marrying an unbeliever might make your marriage invalid in your faith.
- Marrying someone from a different religion is OK as long as you are both believers.
- I am a very accepting person, but I married someone from my own religion. Race and country does not matter, but the way you see the world does. Make sure the other person is accepting of your beliefs.
Ultimately God gives you free will. If my wife were Muslim I would marry her. If I was Muslim and she was not I would marry her. Love is the law of God. If you have a different interpretation please let me know.
A personal note about my spiritual journey
I have had a sincere lifelong interest in religion and tried to be a devout faithful servant of God. However, one thing I know about myself is I am arrogant, egotistical and prideful. Not overtly but internally. Perhaps like we all are. If you mix pride with religious fervor you get self-righteousness.
So just an idea, if you are passionate about the your religion, maybe you want to meditate on the idea that God loves all his children equally and there is not need define yourself by your religion as much as by the love and acceptance you have in your heart for others.
Points of consideration love and Union:
- On one hand, monotheism represents the unity of mankind.
- Yet, is not Brahma, Tao and other Asian expressions of the ultimate reality expressing the same idea even if it is not in the language we understand or are used to? Religion is a subconscious metaphorical language which speaks about man’s deepest longings and desires.
- God blesses every person equally sinner, non-believer and devout and chaste equally, with no exceptions.