The purpose of this article is to look at bride buying from a psychological and historical context. Latter in the article I look at one legitimate way to pay for a bride without buying her. This is an acceptable method, I would use to find a wife, that exists today change your fantasy into reality.
- Men and women have fantasies about being sold or being a buyer in some Gothic medieval bridal trade.
Fantasies women have about being sold into marriage
Lets look at two common fantasies and see what this means for you today if you are looking for a wife.
Fantasy 1 – Believe it or not, some women imagine (in an historical romance context) being taken prisoner and being sold as a wife or the peasant girl force to marry and then falling in love with the man they marry. The reason they fall in love is their husband turns out to be, he was a good man who similarly was force to take a wife by family or political pressure and is just as much a prisoner as she is. This might even be close to an arranged marriage in India or Pakistan. This equates to finding love, without the painful courtship process as in Western dating, rather others decide for you.
Fantasy 2 – Another fantasy scenario is some gallant knight rescuing a woman from the bondage of an inauthentic forced union. This is the plot of romantic historical fiction.
Marriage fantasies from a Jungian perspective
These tales speak of a deep archetype longing about the subconsciousness desires of women and men in marriage.
There is a power in being powerless – Jesuit Priest working in Latin America
The fantasy 1 – Being sold into marriage, where the man is also a victim, it speaks of how women in today’s society feel so much pressure about everything. They feel pressure to be good and choose the right man and feel guilty about their own sensuality. Being stripped of their power in such a humiliating way, removes the guilt and responsibility of women. It is a fantasy of surrender. From this powerlessness and surrender comes something good, that is finding the man that they were suppose to be with anyway.
Fate has a strange sense of Irony. – Morpheus the Matrix
Women have deep issues with guilt and responsibility because as guardians of the next generation they have to make right choices in love. Men feel less of this burden. This is the root of this fantasy. I am speaking about a deep psychological desire women have of either being rescued or relieved of the pressure of a proper marriage.
Fantasy 2 – With the gallant knight fantasy, women want men to rescue them. This is why men go to poor countries to find Cinderella. It is a form of being a hero, and to some extent it it. Women want a man that saves them from their pain in life, and can lift them up to a higher unity. Women want to be taken care of and made to fee secure. However, to equate this to material security rather than spiritual or moral security is the grave mistake girls make.
- Understanding the psychology of women gives men the power to be a better husband by fulfilling a woman’s needs in the context of a real relationship. Marriage is not real in the eyes of God if one person does not do so willingly. But if you are in a relationship and understand what women want from a Jungian perspective the result will be a more optimal union.
- The take away from fantasy 1 – is you need to take the burden of responsibility from the woman in finding a mate and you be the one who makes the effort to get the girl, not the converse.
- The take away from fantasy 2 – is you need to make the girl feel secure not in a material way but as a spiritual hero.
The history of women being sold into marriage in Europe
Before Christianity marriage and even the act of ‘physical relations’ was seen on par with eating (a good meal). It was not elevated to a human idealistic level. It was functional and practical for the perpetuation of the bloodline or to satiate and hunger. I recommend you research women in the Roman Republic and Empire. Romans were not hedonists. Rather they simply saw marriage not an elevated way, rather the acts of physical relations with a woman way to release stress or basic desire, than a beautiful expression of love.
Historical revision of Western European culture of marriage – Many feminists believe Christianity represses women. This is not true. Feminists confuse women’s liberation with the true liberation of women. Christianity brought love to and respect to women to a new level. The Middle Ages was about the adoration of the purity of women.
The dark side to European Christian culture was and still is excesses associated with this quest for purity in women. In fact, that exist in the subconsciousness of men today. However, I would argue that this pre-dates Christianity as it relates to an evolutionary or biological need for a undiseased mate. However, in the historical context you can not assume that it was Christian thinking that put this expectation on the bride to be. Men need to learn to override this quest for the holy grail of purity unless they themselves are without sin.
Eventually any nebulous area between arranged marriage, dowry and slavery existed, but in mainstream culture was eradicated.
In contrast, existed the slave and bridal markets of the non-Christian empires in Europe. The Ottoman Empire was notorious for capturing Slavic and other European women and selling them to the highest bidder for forced servitude or marriage. Which was essentially the same.
To some extent this exits today, for example, go to Istanbul and see what is bought and sold there. I have seen it with my own eyes. It was like something out of a Star Wars where princess Leia was enslaved. However, these are not brides but rather women in forced servitude. I saw women in cages well guarded to keep out Westerners. In Western Europe less obvious situations exist for this type of trade.
Trafficking and brides sold are slowly being stamped out with Christian and humanitarian charities.
Who is looking to buy a bride in Europe?
Men from The Middle East and Asia and even the West still believe buy women in this way is still in play. It is not as it is a moral sin. If a woman is captured and sold it is not a fantasy, it no pleasure for her only the male I would image as some power trip or lazy way to get a wife.
Indian guys are just looking for a wife in Europe because they like the European features and their culture has this tradition of buying a wife closely related to arranged marriage. Indian guys might actually be looking for real wives to love and honour.
Middle Eastern men often are seeking brides in Europe, might be looking for a visa or access to the EU. However, I have met Arab/Muslim men that married Europeans in a true love marriage. This might sound like politically incorrect statement but look at the Sham marriages for work or politics statistically.
Where are the bride markets in Europe?
In Bulgaria there are Roma or Gypsies still sell young women to suitors that bring money. The cost of a bride is between 1,500 dollars and 5,000 dollars for a top pure bride. The market is in the town of Stara Zagora. The girls are Orthodox Christians and the age of 19 is consider the best age to marry.
A lot of Indian guys have interest in this I think because Indians are fundamentally shy and would like to get a European wife but feel they they could not get a European women. Also India has a tradition of bride buying related to dowry and the ratio of males and females as well as economics. For example in India, you can buy a bride for 1000 RS, 100 dollars or for cheaper than a cattle, because the cost of raising a daughter and cultural acceptance of this. After Rajputs bride-selling began in Jharkhand in India (Kirpal Kazak).
However, in the Bulgarian bride market the women do not look European, rather Roma. Ironically Indians and Gypsies are generically related as they both come from the Indo-European migration (reference: Indians in Europe as Roma ). I personally do not find the Kalaidzhi that attractive as they do not have the classic tall lean European look.
If you want to experience this go to the open air bazaar in Bulgaria and choose a wife after flirtation and conversation and pay an interested party for the girl. There are Kalaidzhi who travel from town to town. If you are looking for the exact town they exist in, Stara Zagora, where women are put on stage.
Although the bride and groom involved on both sides might be sincere, it goes against my ingrained cultural understanding of love. You can not commoditize love. Someone is making money off the love connection, beyond acting as a transaction broker (a facilitator with no interest in either party such as a tour guide), but rather a true middle man making money of the buying and selling or someone with a vested interest in seeing a girl sold to the highest bidder is not my style.
The bride markets in an open traditional form only exist in Bulgaria. However, in Europe, there still exists in a respectable way to get a wife for a small fee.
In Russia there are bride beach hunts and bridal safaris which involved exactly what it sounds. Women put flowers in their hair and in a strange ritual are chased, and you can image what happens when caught. Similarly there are state sponsored fertility festivals in Russia with the purpose of reversing the declining birth rate of European Russians. These are largely nationalistic festivals and attempts sponsored by Putin with incentives to increase the rate of pregnancy in Russia. The former, I would put in the fantasy category until I get confirmation, although people say it is true. The latter is in the reality category, as it is widely reported in the news.
The respectable European bridal market
- Tours – I would use this method. if push come to shove. Bridal tours by companies like Anastasia web tour, Elenas models tours and loveme.com (A foreign affair) is an accelerated way to find a wife without buying her. Specifically this is where you go abroad and find a wife. These are usually in Russia and non-EU European counties. This is loosely analogous to speed dating in the USA. The criticism of these companies is they are expensive and there are scammers. That is true. However, remember in the USA and the UK there are also a percentage of women who are looking for a sugar daddy, or a free ride too, they just do it in a different way. So you have to understand most are sincere but some are not.
On the tours you do not buy a bride, rather you meet girls, correspond and date women ready for marriage in an honest way. You can meet twenty or even a hundred girls in a couple of weeks. Beautiful women lined up to meet you and have already been screened for willingness to go abroad. More often then not they are thin and educated women that have the look every guy dreams of. They are from these large industrial cities that are legacies from the Soviet Unions attempt to create a workers paradise.
No one makes money except a dating agency acting as a company that facilitates the tours. I have no problem with this. This is perfectly moral and acceptable. It is simply an accelerated way to pair off because the free will of the woman is retained. I personally would do this. I would go on a bridal tour looking for a wife. That being said, I never did this because I felt there were better ways. I recommend another way because “loves is patient”.
The best way to meet women from Europe
I would say that bridal tours are not as optimal as moving to a country and finding a bride or even taking a vacation to a country and hitting on women as you walk down the street, in Yoga class or at the grocery store. Meet women in youth hostels or alternative outdoor events like permaculture or hiking. Or meeting women online before you leave your home country, then date the best ones once you get there. If you are in immediate need for a bride, do something radical as I advise here: find a foreign wife.
As I bequeath a parting tip to sound advice to such men,
who come across in airships to bring home a polished woman.
- Go back to the beginning of this article and reread the psychology of women – remember women want to be rescued and want you to do the work in dating to relive them of the responsibility of making the right choice. You do not have to buy them, but you have to win them. You have to be a little crazy and even obsessive with the girl to convince her you are the right one. You have to be crazy enough to quit your job and chase her until she has not choice but to marry you. For example, want a Romanian woman, move to Romania for the summer or longer and teach English.
In one sense you are going to have to pay one way or another. In the modern world you pay with effort and chivalry, rather than a monetary unit of exchange.
A note to Western women who think men going on Bridal tours or foreign brides are sleezy – Get off your high horse. So many women in the west who are educated and professionals can not find a good man. These women that judge men, might be the same women who take home guys on the third date or less. Women in Europe are sophisticated because of the classical education system.
Further, think about the bridal market for bridal accessories in preparation for the big day in Europe, in London, Paris and Vienna or the USA for example. There is big money going into the preparation for marriage. It seems respectable on the surface, and women love the idea, except it is about money.
The idea there is a whole industry geared around making money off of people for a wedding in a opulent way. Look at the ads in any woman’s glamour magazine. It puts the expectation into their crazy western women heads. Its normal for American and Western European brides to spend 25k USD plus for a wedding., yet they criticize men who go on bridal tours to find love?
I believe in a low to moderate cost wedding as it is a spiritual union, not a day for show. Women might criticizes men for shopping for a bride via a tour to Eastern Europe, but these posh brides to be have no problem dropping 25k on a wedding only to divorce him latter.
Therefore, do not buy into this hypocrisy. Women that have extravagant weddings are much worst then men who are sincerely looking for love which is a natural thing. Feminism and materialism are symptoms of a larger problem Western culture. For example, I know many a bride that breaks the bank for her extravaganza, and a few years latter end up divorced. Better is to get married in a simple church wedding or on the beach or in a forest with a Minster or Priest or Justice of the Peace that has an authentic spiritual intention.
- If you want advice on finding a woman (or man) in another country ask a question in the comment section below. I will answer all comments well articulated and in good grammatical form.