Do European girls like Indian guys

One of the most common problems I see out there is Indian guys in Europe are alone. They are highly educated, peaceful and friendly but have little to no luck with girls from Europe. I mean what is the deal? Why do not females from London or France date or seek Indian males? On a dating site you never see “beautiful Russian blond seeking Indian guy – just leave your mobile number”. Let me tell you it is possible to bridge this chasm. The purpose of this post if to tell you the reasons why and how to over come these issues with cross cultural Asian European dating.

All the world wants to date a beautiful European girl - What do you think?

Girls from Europe do not date guys from Indian because:

  • European girls often want someone from Europe (home team) or the Americas while India (visiting team) is unknown. In cricket do not most people route for the home team? Indian men are from the same basic ethic group as Europeans, that is Indo-Europeans, but the culture is radically different and they are from a far off exotic land. Too much risk for a girl as she wants someone to take home to her mother (to like) and marry, not a player a foreign culture.  Therefore, I can see how some European women do not go for Indian guys unless there are strong feelings of love. They prefer to stick to that they know, the home team from their own culture.
  • European girls assume that Indian men have Indian girls waiting for them back home and will get married so what is the in dating an Indian guy. Sure almost all Indian marriages are still arranged and many have Indian girls waiting back home. Or maybe we all have watch too many Bollywood movies and think this is reality, but Indian girls are beautiful and know that if you give your heart to a guy he would just go back to Indian and marry someone that looks like Katrina Kaif, Aishwarya Rai, Priyanka Chopra  or Tabu. European girls will never admit this but the risk of flight of an Indian guy is high if she competes with a beauty who also cooks Chicken Tikka Masala and does it with a smile. Come to think of it are you sure you guys want to date a ‘liberated’ German girl?
  • Indian guys are often, but not always are physically smaller frame than Europeans, largely because of the diet. I ethically vegetarian diets are better (I am not one), but it does affect protein intake and growth rates. In contrast, I have seen Indians raised in the  USA on a high fat meat diet become huge.  This is in one generation and no one can tell me this is genetics. Women like to date men either taller or broader than themselves as it give them a sense of security.
  • Indian guys often have a different style. Often because of their budget, but still, please, enough said.

So these are the common problems Indian guys face in Europe. Indians from Bombay, Tamil to Kerala usually come to Europe to study and often make higher earnings based on the power of the currency exchange rate of the rupee to the Euro or British pound. Sometimes they stay to get a visa or EU citizenship and sometimes for marriage.

They can get  these girls, but do not know how. I see the above as a common problem with Indian guys, that is they make very few inroads with European girls. In fact Middle East guys seem to do better even though Indian guys are more connected to Europe ethnically and in some cases culturally.

European blond for Indian male

Solution for Indian guys who want to date European women

  • Radically alter your style – Your goal should be to dress like an Italian. Some people argue that should be everyone’s goal who is in the dating scene as the Italians do know how to dress.  I have seen Indian guys in Italy with barely any noticeable difference in look than some Italian guy and even marry Polish girls. When in Rome do as the Romans, if you are in Europe to as the Europeans. If the fear about dating Indian men is cultural than lessen the cultural boundaries. Indians are attractive people, look at the Bollywood stars, do you think they have any problem attracting someone to date? Clothes make the man. Everyone can be attractive if they know how to jazz up their look. You could even pump iron and where a cool t-shirt with a good haircut. Learn about fashion even if you are on a shoe string.
  • Do not be a geek – Indian guys are generally smart and hard-working, but often are shy about flirting, OK they tend to be geeky. Take no offense, I am a confirmed computer geek myself.  It is not a bad thing, but it does not get your far with girls, unless she is like Mila Kunis and plays computer games like hipster guy.  Know how to be cool a charm girls. Charm is getting what you want without having to ask. Except for the culture you guys are basically the same as Europeans, there is not reason to feel funny or self-conscious. You come from a great land with a rich history. So get over any feelings you have and focus on learning how to charm girls. I do not know what to tell you, try with smiling and ask probative questions here and there about that they study and their interests and whatever it is, show some affirmative facial expression of interest.
  • Explain your real intentions–  If you are getting an arranged marriage back home, be honest. If you are looking for a marriage for a visa to Europe  (I am not recommending at all) be honest. If you are seeking true love then tell them, but be honest as life has karmic laws.
  • Try online dating – You would be surprised how the walls of culture fall when you start to write poetry online and via sms text messages. A lot of my friends from Sweden even have married people from the other side of the world.

Polish girls do marry Indian guys. British girls do marry Indian guys, I have seen all of this. It is more common the other way around for some reason. That is if an Indian girl goes to Europe or America guys are all over her, but the converse is true also.

Tell me what you think, about this type of dating and the possibilities? If you are a man from India what has been your experiences with love in the UK or Europe or chatting with Polish or Russian girls for example?  If you are an American gal or a European girl would you date and Indian guy?

42 Replies to “Do European girls like Indian guys”

  1. I live in Kraków, Poland and have had an Indian guy randomly start talking to me on the street and inviting me for coffee twice. First time it happened I was in a rush so I said I couldn’t, but he was too old for me anyway (about 30, and I was 19 at the time). I just don’t believe in that much age difference when you are 19 or 20. You have different priorities, at 20 all you want to do is have fun and at 30 you are probably about ready to settle down. This why I think it wouldn’t work.
    The second guy was younger, about 23 or 24 and I was 21 at the time. The problem was, from the very beginning he made it obvious that he was looking for a relationship, even seemed a little desperate so it made me think he just needed to get married for a green card rather than was interested in getting to know me. I still wanted to go and have coffee and talk to him since I like talking to foreigners, (it’s almost like traveling 🙂 ) and I would have if he didn’t answer his phone with the words “hi, Kasia” while we were talking.

    So if you are an Indian guy looking for a girlfriend in Europe, my advice is just take your time and make friends first. Asking a Polish girl on a date the minute you meet her is a good way to scare her off. Polish girls are careful daters. It is much better if you ask her to help you with something and have a casual conversation to start with.

    1. Hi Izabela,

      I can undertsnd what you have gone through. Long story short, I met with my wife (Kasia) Online and must say that I agree with your advise. Kasia and me were just frnds for chat we never thought that we will get marry. when we start talking too much and realise that we should meet in real than i planed a month holiday frm office and ask Kasia to come to india and meet my family. Kasia is very shy girl. In fact im very shy in girls. And she came two India we got Engased and I decided to move to New Zealand so we can live in an English speaking country and live happily. I faced so many problems I cant even explain. But I proudly say that I have best wife 😛 and for me my kaska is most beautiful girl. And i dont only know Kasia from Poland.

      Kinga, my best frnd is from Poland and so many other girls I know. Hope that soon I will come two Poland and meet all my friends and my Polish in laws.They love me so much and I love them most. I married Kasia because I found the girl like I wanted. Not for any visa or citizenship. That is I am in New zealand not in Europe.

      If you want be my friend via Facebook. You can find me” mine and Kasia’s pic is on profile.

    2. I met this Polish chick at the dog park in Melbourne Australia, I am not gonna ask her for a date or anything. I am taking my time to get to know her first, can you tip me on how Polish girls are and what steps I should avoid?

      1. Good question, Polish girls are into culture, you can talk about Poland and what you know about the history and culture, read up on it. If you know a few words of Polish even better. Everyone loves someone who knows about their obscure interests and background. Also Polish girls are cultured so if you can manifest a level of culture about things like literature and language or anything high-minded it will appeal to a Polish girl.

        Find out what she likes and then study and learn about this and be into it too. But also just be yourself and express things about your exotic culture, I am sure she is interested and would love to travel there someday as Poles love the ideas of travel to exotic lands.

      2. To some extend I do agree with Admin. However with my personal experience I can say all 5 fingers are not same. All I can say is, ” be a gentleman (not only with the girl u like with every girl) and you will find ur self a magnate. Surly dress up nicely but not over. Girls like neat and clean person. Don’t over show even if you are billionaire. Be sober and down to earth.

        If I am not wrong a girl needs “Care, attention and Love” If she is smart and do understand life she will give you enough space for your fun time (boys time)Try to talk about her family and if possible and admin said learn some Polish words. “Czesc” and try pronounce it clear. If you cant it will help you. confused??? This will be your fun time learning Polish from her and teaching her a bit Hindi.

        Rest, Wish you luck.

        A happy married boy with loveable Polish girl
        Vikas(me)+Kasia(my wife name) = Vikasia (isn’t amazing)
        Cheers!
        Vikas

  2. I am a North Indian guy (from Punjab) living in Germany from past 3 years. Surprisingly for me, I have more friends (girls) in Europe in these 3 years than in India (specially Polish, Balkans and Russians). Somehow I don’t go well along with other Indians. Also because most of them comes from South India and are typical geeks. They don’t like to go out too much and rather prefer to stay back and do some indoor stuff like cooking and watching movies. Unlike other Indian guys I am a bit open (actually very open) and like to make friends, go to parties, drink (even polish and russians say that I drink too much), dance. I never try to flirt with any girl if I don’t know her and to my surprise this behaviour attracts them the most and this is how i get girls. I prefer being good friends first, hang around together and then ask for a date. I am a well tanned guy and most of the European Girls like my skin color very much. According to them I am the “coolest” Indian guy ever and they can do anything someone to get my skin colour.

    1. Anshu,

      Hows going mate? I’m from Punjab as well. I agree with you on your skin color complements. Because when I was new in NZ I met couple of kiwi girls and they said you got nice skin it’s not dark not too white. I asked her but white people dislike Indians because we are dark skin. I was stun with her reply, ” they don’t have such nice skin so of course they will b jealous and that’s y they react like that” I was like. And about drinking, Even I am a party animal. Punjabis r know for their King Size life. Though we are not good in studies we are open-hearted and know how are live life.

      Cheers mate,
      Vikas

      1. Buddy,you had a chance, nice one indeed. I don’t know what happened, but I would like to make a comment.

        I asked her but white people dislike Indians because we are dark skin. I was stun with her reply, they don’t have such nice skin so of course they will be jealous and that is the way they react like that.

        When she complimented your skin that means she was attracted to you. You should have never made above comment. This sounds racist. If I were you. I would have made it funny. Without mentioning any words like ‘white’.

    2. This is about how women see guys from Indian, there are pluses and minuses.

      You might be James bond but do not generalize Indians. I agree that you may have more girlfriend’s in Germany than in India but trust me that has little to do with your connectivity with Indians. Individual opens himself more in foreign land and I am assuming that people are more socialize in the sense of talking to strangers in Germany rather than India.

      I am in LA and train Indians
      That’s being said, I am saying because I train people here (in Los Angeles) in PUA community (specially Indians), you would be surprised that Indian guys have more good stories and chance than any other race (except Latinos) if they improve a little bit of body language…

      “I never try to flirt with any girl if I don’t know her and to my surprise this behavior attracts them the most and this is how I get girls. I prefer being good friends first, hang around together and then ask for a date.”

      The answer to your above question is that if a guy like me will meet your girl who you are trying to be friends with then you will be dumped in friend zone forever.

      I am surprised, I really am, here is a fact and no one can deny is, when you meet a female. Their mind circuit is designed in a way that they make decision in 10 minutes whether she would dump you in friend zone or in boy friend zone. You just said what you get in these two.

      “According to them I am the “coolest” Indian guy ever and they can do anything someone to get my skin color.”

      Your post says all.

        Anyways the things which I usually encounter in Indian guys is:

      Scent – They generally don’t use Western hygiene to the extent others do.

      Fashion – There is a famous term in PUA community called Peacocking, which is essential to strike a conversation.

      Come out of their comfort zone – This is very rare in Indian community, often when I ask my friends to talk to someone (opening line is provided), they say, no man I am too shy or not interested while he is staring her too much, this is all bullshit excuse, just go ahead and talk to her, apply 3 sec rule..

      They think non Indian girls are easy to sleep with – Well I don’t blame them..The culture they have raised in is restricted and they are desperate.

      They show too much interest quickly – Always remember.. guys are like dogs.. more attention you give them more they will come to you. On the other hand girls are like cats.. less attention you give more they will come to you.

      Strengths of Indian men:

      1. They are honest, most of the time.
      2. They will respect you if you get to know them.
      3. They are ambitious.

      Also one thing and it is very important, girls are not racist, guys are, for example:

      if a guy meets a girls.. he refers her ta friend like” Hey man I met this white chick” on the other hand if a girl meets a guy.. she always says that “Hey I met this nice guy yesterday”

      Rules of attraction are always same you just have to tune it.. So please next time don’t refer yourself the “Coolest” Indian, rest if you need help. I would be happy to tell you some awesome conversation starters.

      1. These posts are fundamentally flawed. Europeans are not jealous of brown/ black skin. I am a doctor from Mumbai living in Australia for 20 years or I have a vantage point of seeing my culture from afar.

        Indian men are certainly not harder working or more intelligent than any other race. The problem Indian men have meeting women is not due to shyness or being geeks.

        It is because the vast majority of Indian men are seen by both men and women in the west as being immature, loud and unhygienic. Ask any foreigners who have travelled to India what they thought of the hygiene and constant harassment of women by Indian men. We need too wake up as Indians.

        The world health organization estimates that 587 million Indians use nature and public places as their rest rooms. Our country in an open sewer. We also have the highest ‘forced physical relations’ statistic in the world. We need to stamp out the rampant corruption and move away from the silly caste structure. I am often embarrassed of Indians when visiting my birth city of Mumbai. The majority of my colleagues are European and Chinese whom I have a wonderful professional relationship with.

        We as Indians live in the past and are not very sophisticated on a global level. With time all psychological boundaries can be crosses with dating from other cultures with patience and understanding. How many of you have sisters, that you would happily see married to a European man? European women in my option are happy to meet and chat with clean, mature intelligent men from from most races, but when someone has a backward slum dogs mentality and can’t keep there hands to themselves, this is not winning over any foreign women. Simple as that.

      2. Sunder Pichai CEO of Google is a South Indian. Satya Nadella CEO of Microsoft is a South Indian. Frankly, the people who look down on south Indians are North Indians, especially Punjabi. Who believe that “coolest guy” means everything to them.
        Stop being so obnoxious. People will run away from you.

  3. Many Indians guys also fail to connect to non Indian cultural diaspora around the world; yet they are obviously attracted to the exotic beautiful girls. Thus many a times they end up somewhere in the middle which might send wrong vibes to a girl. But this is not true for guys from all the cultures of India.

  4. I have been to USA and now I am in germany. the diff i felt is and how it is related to indian dating..
    1. Most of indians are from south india, very few from other parts of India.
    2. Srilankan, Tamilian, Pakistanis, it is difficult to recognize by looking them and most of the people are very miser in behaviour specially Pakistanis so it create a bad impact on girls in europe and in fact very few indians are really good in behaviour, sorry to say that but it is true and Pakistani they made it worst as a result as people see any asian specially from pakistan, india or Sri Lanka, they opt to stay away from them.
    3. On the other hands, girls are able to get german guys, somewhere I felt even being a german but german guys are also unable to get girls easily so when a frustrated Indi girl meets with frustrated german, they hang up and in most of the cases I found girl start being sleazy or start acting like a bitch (3 cases out of 5), more interesting in the same event if an indian guy will do the same thing with an indian girl (talking or touching) she minds it but she is open to a german even for much more sleazy body language.

    I will say at least german girls are honest here, if they will open they are open in same way to all and if not then to no one.

    6.) Indians are more successful with Romanian, Poland and with spain girls, I felt girl from these countries are very friendly and really believe in friendship,unlike with german in most of the cases they commit as friendship but its all about sex (trust me its true).

    I personally like afghan girls more although very few of them are good but I can guarantee you trust in such relations at least more than any other country.

    Sorry if you find it offending, I wrote what I have seen in shopping malls, railway stations, in grocery stores. in pub discos, on roads.

    I want to say not all Indian guys are miser and kinky, but such guys are misunderstood or facing consequences, cause of actions of stupid boys who spoils their own image and their country’s reputation and so there is a less rate of success but in USA it is exactly opposite, visit few weeks continuously to a same club or pub and you will a good girlfriend or mayb some girl who is very clear that she only want to have sex no marriage.

    Thanks,
    Rohan

    1. Robert,

      Firstly living the Indian name.
      Secondly you compared a Pakistani to a Sri Lankan or Tamil.

      Thirdly Sri Lankans and Tamil are very nice people.

      Fourthly We Pakistanis generally have no issue with women. We are neither timid nor meek but fairly rugged and confident.

      My experience with women has been nothing but positive be she English, European and even Indian girls themselves.

      Pakistanis are taller and skin colour tends to be right. Furthermore Bollywood actors tend to hail from regions in Pakistan.

      Now onto girls, number one be comfortable in your skin. Be confident, articulate witty which are three traits missing in Indian foreign contractor types approaching women. Over confidence and cheeky birders on sleazy and desperation and I have seen that too.

      Every woman is a delicate flower treat her as such with respect and be gentle. Every woman loves to be complimented but never directly as she feels uncomfortably and rightly so. Every woman likes to smile and made to laugh. Be casual about it even if your rejected.

      But Indian guys come on don’t be dissing us Pakistanis. As Muslim with deep respect about Christianity and Judaism I unintentionally met a Polish girl after I responded to a a guy around Aramaic, Hebrew and Arabic. Eastern Europeans are deeply religious and I like that where as your typical Western guy may not.

      So it is not even what you say it’s hoe you say it. With sincerity with respect keep your dignity and respect hers and I believe all good conversations lead to a coffee or a number to meet for coffee and hopefully things blossom.

      Most foreign men do come across desperate and it appears they are looking for visas and sadly is true for vast majority and very disrespectful to the ladies.

  5. Hi guys,

    I’m a French woman, 30, and I can tell you that some girls just love Indian guys, no worries for u!

    This type of girls go to Indian restaurant, Bollywood or traditional dance courses, and temple.

    They ay be the best for you (at least in Europe, no comparison with India of course 🙂 because they understand and enjoy pretty much the culture.

    So, the problem can be (at least for me, I don’t know for the other girls) that you guys often have girls at home or nobody but just want to have fun because you consider us as non serious girls, and this is an euphemism because I’ll stay polite. Because we bath in swim suits. Because we are no virgins when we get married. Because we are free.

    So, please, just as yourself guys:what are you really looking for? We cannot get snow and monsoon at the same time, and that’s the same with women. You have to be honest to yourself to know what is really important for you.

    Intercultural understanding is a lot of work.

    I wish you all the best.

    Rejane

    1. Rejane, you said the important thing here, ” just be yourself.” but you also have to put your best qualities first to increase your value in front of a female, No offense but girls like challenges and if they think you are too easy for them then no matter you are indian or non indian..this is a turn off.

      I tell you a trick by which you can figure out whether this guy has a girl at home or he can get serious with non-Indian chick, (although I shouldnt be saying that).

      So the first thing you should notice in 5 mins of conversation (of course provided you are interested in him). How much history or cultural knowledge he has about other countries than india?? Because if he talks about india too much than the probability is he has not been anywhere else and hence chances are he has too much indian culture in him (rest you can imagine)..

      Second thing is while having a conversation ..is he able to make you laugh by your type of jokes and can have a decent conversation… A very good example is above comment where this dude asked girl “but white people don’t like Indian guys”, which portrays that he has been to that country only and of course has little knowledge about other culture (no offense and I apologize dude if I offended you)..

      You should see how much he has knowledge about your country movies. This is very important. while dating him you are not gonna watch Bollywood junk for 24×7.. of course its fun but for a little time.

      Of course music, does he have a good amount of knowledge of the music he is interested in. Of course it can be indian folk music, trance, jazz etc.

      These traits of personality shows how much curious he is about other things than India, if he has those that means there is a good chance you guys would date awesome as he will enjoy discovering your interest and so would you.

    2. Hi Rejane,

      Thank you for your comment. I have to agree that you right about the Indian perception. Sometimes a few bad apples give a bad review for an entire people. More importantly, I have dated European women and have been in a long relationship; adaptability, flexibility and communications are very important especially in an inter-cultural relationship.

      Additionally, Indian men should be open to explore these relationships with the same standards applied for all women. No biases for European or Asian (Indian) women in the selection preferences.

      I hope European women should be willing to take chance and get to know someone.

  6. Well me being an Indian find easy to get some nice fishes here in Europe better than India, and I see a lot of Indians successful in doing this, Unmanly men always end up in disaster no matter where he is from.Just because I get a lot of girls coming behind me it does not mean that I’m better than all European guys and European girls are not friendly. It’s a cultural thing and just because Indians populate more, smaller percentage of indecent or boring male look bigger. A real guy and a real girl wont really care about race when it comes to date or long time relationship. And it doesn’t really matter what the rest other immature people think about it. If you want to meet a real Indian guy, just ping me.

  7. From my personal experience,(I am from Punjab) it make a huge difference where do you come from, I mean your culture, heritage and lifestyle. I am not sure about rest of the India but being a Punjabi I was always confident talking with people, social skills you know, and getting girls is just about positive communication, from last eight years since I am in Europe. I been involved with English, French, Polish, Chinese and Russians. I mean I came here to do something in life not to go after girls(and I don’t follow no girl much) but I have had quite a number in my list, some decent ladies(couple of them from oxford.

    Some suggestions:

    1.Do not ask for a date at first meeting…be friends first and positive,know about her as much as can stay cool.

    2. Ask her to meet at some common place (bar or coffee place in uni)

    3. Don’t be too personal, talk more about, green peace, nature sports etc.

    Depending on how she is responding at right time ask for a date (actually asking for a date is old crap stuff) if you pay right you will get the her in some time .

    Once I get a girl when she was leaving a pub and going to other one round the corner and we chatted and I had her in two days.

    So stay cools, just that.

    Remember you cannot force a girl in western society, as soon as she feels you are desperate she will leave.

  8. The purpose of this is to compare Indian women Vs Western women so people go in with eyes open about the cultural differences before dating girls. Well, a stereo type and dual standard boring article with almost hyped comments and imposing rules on just Indian men.

    It is boring, because, just telling Indian man ‘must’ to do so many things. I wish and pray that Indian men should put their preferences also forth to any white girl and “laws must be same” without dual standards.

    First to Indian men who is seeking only committed relation in and with western woman:

    1. You must always remember that the best white western woman are no where to match ordinary Indian or south-Asian woman. Bear it always in mind. You can or may have best spouse in your backyard.
    2. If you are ready (fall in love and wants to get into committed relationship meaning marriage) then first evaluate the honesty level and tolerance towards you, your family and your culture and ability to integrate. They have two types of honesty. Public known honesty and keep things secret under the “privacy and space”. They also lie a lot lot lot than us. If you are committed to Indian family values then think 1000 times before marriage. Heart break can be cured than life break.
    3. If you write/learn/speak her language for her so she must also do, after all men and women are same:) no excuses for doing so because later you will regret.

    There is no “true be to yourself” with western woman – as you already read here “Indian man must do”. Take your background into consideration, talk to your family members and follow what your family wishes for you sincerely.

    Indian men no need to feel lower than counter-parts; they do not treat much higher than us – with the woman. They know how to approach better then us because they grown-up in similar way. We may torture a woman for working in home and giving birth to our kid but do not cheat for other woman whenever “space” is found and of course women will also do same. We do not throw woman out of home while it is freezing outside and lost interest in her(when any new and attractive woman found). We have no problem to throw entire money into her basket rather than just paying. A lot lot much better than them. To get good marks in exam, we must write good in test and for that hard working is necessary. So let them also do hard work to get better man, after all, equal way of taking actions.

    Looking for just physical relations then go to pub often with little extra bucks for paying your pleasure lady drink cost and taxi fare. It is as much simple as you read, believe it or not. Have fun in the night and get up tired in morning. Viel spass.

    At western women: if you can not find Indian man, be sure you will never know better man or better things for you.

    Indian men anyhow must know-never /smell bad in your body. Scent is a key for attraction in dating.

  9. My mother’s family were imported by the British to work as indentured labourers to what was, about 150 years ago, the British colony of Natal, South Africa. My great-grandmother was imported labour, a midwife, who provided for the medical care of the wives of the indentured labourers. We were Catholic, and my great grandmother spoke English as well as Tamil (originating from the south of India). We were greatly influenced by Catholic missionaries who were stationed in Natal, and who believed, at that time, that to be a good Catholic meant abondoning eastern/”pagan” cuture. This resulted in my grandmother not learning her venacular and of course my mother feeling alien to Indian culture. I am therefore a third generation South African, having been brought up in this country. I’ve studied or worked for extended periods in Denmark, the United Kingdom and Canada and English is my home language.

    My father was a European anti-apartheid activist so I have green eyes and dark brown hair. The only things which make me “Indian” is my love for curries and spicy foods (which by now is probably a Universal favourite) and my enjoying Bangra music (I dont understand the words but because I like dance music, I enjoy the beat as opposed to say rap/jazz/classical music).

    But off course the obvious give away to my ancestry is that I have brown skin. I believe that as a third generation South African I am not Indian any longer, but I find that white South African woman (themselves not European any longer probably third generation South Aficans as well) have problems seeing me as date-able.

    I wonder if there are any similar experiences from the diaspora community?

  10. Do not perceive Indian culture from one Indian guy ever. Reason why I say this being an Indian, there are 26 states in India with 26 different languages with 26 different cultures, foods, dances, music, literature, behaviors, dresses, living styles, customs, marriage styles, even how they call out their mom is all different. Confusing nation. If the guy is from Punjab (a state in India), he will act / behave completely different from that from Rajasthan (another state just neighbor to Punjab sharing the same boundaries. Forget about a South Indian guys would marry a North Indian girl or vice versa. Community will also not accept such a relation. We call India One Nation. India is in fact 26 Nations trying to live in harmony. Only the metropolitan guy from India is going to be open enough to understand and accept this fact. So much to leave you with confusion about Indian guys and proceed with actual question of the forum. European beauties are visible and Indian state beauties not visible but are going to even shake hands after marriage (Not the metropolitan beauties as they are just like any other Euro girls due to their liberated nature and dress sense). The guys who make up to other countries are not always rather lesser from metropolitan towns of India. I hope you are getting my hint about whom are you trying to guess if he is from India. You are pretty much confused as it is a confusion here in India too. This is just a race / cultural difference then there is last name tradition too that changes race within the race. For example, a Punjabi girl from Last Name “Mehra” will not marry a Punjabi guy whose Last name is “Sharma”. Now this is ridiculous in the same nation guys are not getting looked upon for marriage and they want cross countries cultural gaps to be abolished because they want some Euro girls. Sorry dear dudes I am just trying to set an example that Indian girls need help as they want to get liberated and trying to find your way out to already liberated girls is so mean. Make some good European friends and ask them if they can help you liberate Indian girls.
    I really respect all European girls and their ethics because I know them. They are polite and helpful just like any Girl is in this world. All girls are beautiful at heart, love them and respect them please.

    Love you all.

  11. Actually I am European, and I love a Hindi boy. He is so sweet and I really love him. I’m not brave enough to ask him about our future, but I do think about it. He’s catholic, so because of religion we won’t have problems. His first language is English, where he lives they speak English. But I am afraid of his family. What if they won’t accept me? He said they will, but what if not? Do you guys know anything about Hindi habits of marriage with a European girl? I really could use some help.

    1. I would say in my limited experience of observing European and Indian marriages, the marriages are solid, however, the parents are always an issue. The main thing is not to let other people run your life or how you feel. It does not matter what your or his parents think as this is your one life. You can respectfully own your own life and destiny.

      You have an excellent Gravatar image by the way.

    2. May I suggested something and wish that you think/ponder about how I would find out how his parents think. Find out where he lives. Then drop in when he is absent. try to start a conversation/dialogue with his parents. Don’t commit the blunder of talking about marriage or your relationship with their “holy/sacred’ son. Visit them as often as possible and gradually enquire their thinking about foreign girls with Indian boys. This shall enable you to gradually know where you stand. My son (today 54) is in a relationship with a blind lady from Ghana. For me the happiness of the two is more important than anything else. That is my thinking and way of life.

  12. Most European women judge Indian men negatively because of the stereotypes associated with them even if they find them to be relaxed, easy going and well adapted to living in the west. There is also some societal pressure involved in this. I have seen cases of my friends where the EU girl eventually broke up with the Indian boy because she was basically brain washed by either her family or her friends to think otherwise (that he is Indian, he is used to beating women, he is used to arranged marriage and non sense like that). Rather than asking the guy directly and making a decision on their own most women in EU fall for this type of societal pressure. Yes, I agree many idiot Indian men have tarnished the image by making dodgy deals about marriage and lying about relationships the women. But please do not tell me that white European men do not cheat or break up or have marriages with women sometimes for sake (only to end up divorcing them).
    I am Indian myself and have spent so much time in Europe (learned its ways and so on) that its hard for anyone to believe that I am from India ( I hear all the time: Are you from Italy? Are you from Spain? etc. etc.). And I still find dating very hard here cause women simply begin with as assumption that I am just looking to have relations and then leave them with no long term plans (when what i am looking for is the exact opposite).
    What I have seen happen is that the women from Europe who show a proactive interest in Indian men are either old (above 30 and ready to get married and look for Indian men cause unlike European men, Indian men are committed and do not run away from a married mans responsibilities) or they are below average looking (so not many white guys are interested in them anyways).

  13. I just want to comment on what happens on the ground ( I am a European man).
    I go to clubs and pubs in major cities in Europe and I have found one common thing there about the dating scene of and Indian (or for that sake any non-European and non-White guys). They get cock blocked by White boys at every single step ! I even had one of my friend saying this to me once that he thought it was his duty to do that even if he has no interest in the woman whatsoever.
    Even if the Indian man in charming enough to get a good girlfriend, it does not end there. My Indian friend has an Irish girlfriend and I have seen how her Irish colleagues give him looks as if he has committed a crime and they cock block him by putting him down in her eyes.
    I myself do not care who European women date. We as humans are free to date anyone we want, unfortunately race always gets in the way.

  14. Well I am a south Indian male grew up in the States married to an Aussie woman. On my single days I did live in Europe and did partied a lot in a lot of hot spots. I don’t know what the European gentleman above talking about. Wherever my African and Hispanic friends and myself went girls loved us. Honestly the white guys were striking outta luck and we were like kings Because the girls loved our skin color. Just gotta be confident and don’t be a player. European girls are really fun and no drama. Again just b confident and work on the accent. Us Indians do not have a charming accent.

  15. My conclusion that because Indians are so disregarded on a social level and deemed with all these negative stereotypes, this makes women and people in general look down on Indians on a subconscious level. To some this may sound preposterous, but these are my beliefs.

    I think this kind of subconscious bias probably affects women more than men, when it comes to dating alone but not in other aspects of society. One more known obvious example is when some women call any Italian man handsome, because of the stereotype surrounding Italian men. Just throwing in my two cents here people.

  16. I am a a Spanish girl. I was born and grew up in Switzerland. I’m very light skinned and I am not racist at all. My best friend is Indian. He looks very handsome. He is very smart and he is sweet. I am kinda in love with him, but he will marry one day an Indian girl because of his parents. He doesn’t feel the same way about me, but he cares about me. And I don’t care if he is Indian, or not. I just like him because he is a very good guy and has a good heart. The only thing is, if he would be here and not have this arranged marriage thing, he may would love me, we may could marry and be together forever. So the only thing which I don’t like from India is the caste system, and the arranged marriages, which make some people who are in Love unhappy, cause they cant be together. Also its true that in Europe its easier to get sex. But not only girls are easy, men are easy too. Because the culture is different. But as Spanish girl, I am conservative and it should be only after marriage. Its more romantic. But I made the mistake of dating, and my friend could never accept that. I hope we will meet one day, even if this means my heart will be broken, cause he doesn’t feel the same I feel and cause we cant be together. I hope if two people love each other, they can be together. Love does not know about races, culture or skin color. The problem is most men, everywhere just want to have sex as fast as possible and think that with western girls they can have it easily, but they don’t care to break their hearts. Western girls should be like in the other cultures, be more conservative and wait until marriage. But anyway, women have a problem to be respected all over the earth, because we live in a chauvinistic world.

    1. Atenea, I am sorry you have this dilemma and I do understand. If you were to marry it would not be the first time people in history have disobeyed their parents for love. In fact I think the greatest way you can honor your parents is live the life you want to live, not their life.
      You are a beautiful Spanish girl and the world is yours. Every guy in the world would fall over their feet to meet and marry you. I think it whether you are with your friend or another, you should think in terms of finding someone very idealistic, someone romantic and courageous like you. Screen guys on ideals and romantic vision rather than anything superficial and you will live a fairy-tale like I am.

      Oh one last thing, remember to live the questions in life and at some distant time in the future when you do not even realizes it you will be living the answers.

  17. Sorry for the name but I just want to keep myself discreet.
    I was in Ukraine for my academics I met this girl in club. She gave me her number and we met and after few times we started dating everything was beautiful.
    She liked me, loved me too(not sure about love) but I don’t know where things went wrong. During first part of our relationship I had said that the relation isn’t clear and I have no girl waiting for me. She was clear for me. As our relationship continued I started liking her and was inive with her. But her feelings were different. I sometimes find it hard to understand her. I know I had made mistakes in life and in this relation(I didn’t cheat on any other girl). I was young and she was 2 years elder to me. She was desperate to settle down and I wanted time. I said I would marry her but I need time. During this time I had financial issues and couldn’t give her gifts or flowers this thing was very important for her. She always complained about me that I am not matured, my character is not strong enough, she often brings out her past two relationships. First one was with a Ukrainian boy second was an Arab from Jordan. Later I started realizing that she loved those two more than me. I felt like she was just with me just to forget her past. Of course we had good moments together, we had plans together we had thought names for our kids too but couldn’t hold on her. Though she supported me when I had bad time, when I had problems in university but she was not ready to support me till the end. She knew I was at stage where I lived her so dearly that I would exchange her for anything in this world. She knew I loved her madly abd want to have a family with her. But she then started having doubts in her mind about me.She was just too worried about poverty, she felt she would be homeless. Though she knows I am not having much money in Ukraine both family soundly settled in India. I was ready to take her but after two years she just finished the relationship and started dating another guy, a Jewish Ukrainian. She is married to this guy. It was heart breaking for me. She moved to live with this guy just 10 days after breaking up with me. I felt devastated, if she had been wanted to be with me she would not move on so quickly. I discontinued my education and left the country. I tried to convince her so much but she just didn’t give me another chance. I was trying to convince her like a street dog for food but still nothing. She said she is not loving this guy she chose her because he is matured making good normal money. She said she had no other choice. She felt safe with him she felt she won’t be homeless. But I didn’t stopped communications I still tried to pursue her for 3 years. Sometimes we had bad talks saying complains and pain we feel. Sometimes we talked good talked good moments of our past. Sometimes we just fought and didn’t communicate for months. She often says she isn’t happy with this guy. I always tried to say to come to me I will take care of her but she never just believed me. She always thought it’s not possible. She says I am jobless I wont support our family etc. She says she want to live separately without parents or anyone else she wanted to feel as if it’s her home and make her own decisions.

    Now after 3 years of convincing I have failed. She sometimes used to say she would come and she wants to come because she felt unhappy, she says she has money to spend, place to live and good expensive chocolates she didn’t felt being loved. she says she gave all part of hee heart to her bfs ie, her first Ukrainian bf, 2ndn Arab bf and me, she has nothing left for her husband. During this communication she also said that she is still in love with her Arab bf who is already married, have a baby girl and expecting for a other baby later this year. It was very painful for me to know. I mean someone you love so much is saying that she/he doesn’t love you or don’t have same feelings as we have. sometimes I have felt she likes Arabs more, Arabian culture more it was just hard to digest for me. It always make me think what was she doing with me for 2 years if she like them? Was she really loving me or just not sure about me. All those tender words, those dreams for future family, all those moments we shared was it really true from her side?

    Finally few days ago we made a decision not to communicate with each other again. We would be total strangers to each other. It is going to be tough for me to not to see her or communicate her but I have to. For this I am even going to delete my Facebook profile so that I can refrain myself to look at her photos. I am also deleting my profile so that I don’t have to talk to anyone. I feel like isolating myself.

    For any guys Indians just be careful when you dream to have a relationship with Europeans or east Europeans they are tough either you must learn to let it go easily just like they do or you would feel it for years to come. Understand what you want. If you are not for marriage tell them, if you are not sure tell them that too. Don’t have any relationship with an European girl thinking she is easy to get laid with. Remember they all have feelings and Karma would hit back. You have to come up with a decision where you know how it would affect you, your family, family values in society. You have to either know or try to understand if you can take care of a foreigner, support her and protect her because there is going to be lots of staring going to happen in India if you are going to travel locally. You must also know if your parents would accept her as their daughter in law. Otherwise you must be ready to leave them and live on your own.

    Remember respect everyone not all girls are piece of fun to entertain or to boast around to your friends.
    Sorry for such a long story.

  18. Read the article and also few comments. I am married to a Polish girl and we have a beautiful daughter.

    I met my wife when I was out with my friends in a Restaurant and she was celebrating with her friends at an adjacent table. It did not try to make any friends or small talks with her cuz I am not that type of guy.

    Saw her and some how I had balls to walk up to her table and ask her “what do I need to do take you out some day?” She and her friends start laughing and to make matter worst even my friends were laughing at me. But she she looked at me and wrote her number on a napkin and gave it to me.

    So instead of looking for a European girl, most important thing is to look for that connection.

    When you have that connection then you’d know what to do and always be yourself. So all this things about different culture and religion does not matter. It differs from person to person.

    But at the same time if you are one of those guys who like to ask each and every woman out. I do not have any advice for you. I am not an expert at that.

  19. I am of Indian heritage (diaspora). So 100 % Indian DNA, but born and raised in Europe. I have never felt to be treated differently by white women in my environment. Sometimes male and female friends forgot- to my annoyance-that I’m different. I am proud of my exotic color and identity. I consider myself a Hindu and am a vegetarian. So not the most common European guy.

    I have had (some even long term) relationships with Dutch, Italian, English and Belgian women. Now already 9 years happily married with a Swedish girl (or woman by now).

    The point, however, is that our common culture has been predominantly the same. Of course there are differences, but no real obstacles. From a physical point of view we look the same (apart from the mentioned nice color). I think I dated the ladies the same way, as every other guy would do.

    However, strangely enough I cannot see myself with an Indian woman. Also here my prejudices would come-even no exception for Aishwarya Rai, who is taken anyway, up. Although we would share same religion, enjoy same music (I have a sweet spot for Rafi) and food, we would have a different world view.

    So I think the same applies for European women in connection to Indian men. Of course there are the exceptions to the rule, but it is very hard to mix the two worlds. Just think about how we look at fashion (why always the ugly jeans with sneakers?), hygiene (very, very sorry to say that….apologies), health care (Indians want always more more medicines) and education system (I don’t need my child to be pushed and pushed to have the high grades. She needs to develop her individuality).

    I do believe the above will be a bit provocative to some and am curious on your feedback.

    Regards,
    Mike

    P.S. Mr.India you seem to be a good guy. Go for the good girl. Not the one who prefers security and admits to have used you, still in love with the Arab, interesting.

    1. Well, thank you for the wishes Mr. Kumar but I am not expecting anything anymore in life. I have not given up of life just don’t have enough trust left. As you said its hard to imagine yourself with an Indian girl I have same issues. I tried forgetting my past but picturing myself with an Indian is what i can’t. I know I am born and bought up in Indian but I have no idea why my thoughts and wishes are different of a stereotype Indian. Anyways I have to accept what my destiny has for me and probably I will have to adjust with an Indian girl for the rest of my life.

      I don’t know about her love for the Arab maybe its a delusion. She is okay with her current life and doesn’t want to change it. So there is the “stop thinking of her” sign for me.

      I am happy to know your story it was really nice and to be honest I envy you but in a positive way. Good luck with your life.

  20. European women do go for Indian men but it depends upon the country and that being said, after they have relations with you, and after a while they tend to bore with you and leave you. Indian women are better for marriage and long term commitments than any European easy girl.
    Indian men have a craving for white meat so they get enchanted by white skinned European girls, sure European women will come across as friendlier than Indian women initially but once you have relations with them, they will get bored with you, they are lousy life partners. They also age very badly.
    If you think they treat you bad because you are Indian you are wrong, the divorce rates in European countries are very high, so they treat their own kind very badly too, in fact many frustrated white men want Indian and Asian women because they want traditional wives and families rather than stuck up feminist European women who do nothing but spread their legs.
    If you really crave white European women as an Indian man, the women most likely to go with Indian men are those from France, Spain, Romania, Hungary, Ukraine, Russia, and Bulgaria. French and Spanish women are the only Western European women who seem to like Indian men, other nationalities are not so friendly. Russian and Ukrainian women like Indians, also Hungarians as well. Polish women are mixed, some like Indians, some do not and are less tolerant.

    1. If you have expressed your opinion about European ladies from European soil, it seems you have “suffered” disappointments and letting loose your dismay and subdued anger. Don’t think that India is a bed of roses and women are all faithful, innocent and undemanding. To put it straight, you want a lady who will be at your beck and call and obedient like a dog. After having lived in Germany for nearly 42 years I am living now in India since 19 years and see every day what the behavior of men and women is becoming. A rich man is on the top of list; simply because of the massive commercialization of India. The India of yester years is vanishing faster and is being replaced by luxury and wealth and tons of money. Those who cannot see this they are in deep, deep trouble and sad disappointments.

  21. I would say the countries where Indian men do well are some of the Eastern European and Southern European countries, also the UK, but the UK is more of about money and status.

    British women do not care about your race as long as you have money. On the Continent its different, Germany is pretty race conscious. the only women there that seem to not mind Indian men are the immigrant women who come from Eastern Europe and the Middle East. That being said the social night life scene in Germany is super race conscious, if you got dark skin, you will not get into a club in the bigger cities, even the clubs run by Arabs and Turks will turn away dark skinned men.

    Good countries are Scandinavia, Spain, France, Hungary, Ukraine, and Russia. Russia though is dangerous and does have a good number of race oriented but the women are open towards Indian men. I have visited these countries and have had mostly positive experiences with the local women.

    Spanish women are super friendly but will not have relations with you unless you are their husband, so courtship is a long process there, they will flirt with you though.

    It has nothing to do with race and more to do with religion, having relations outside of marriage is seen as a bad thing to most Spanish women who tend to be very religious, they value marriage and a husband, and they tend to be traditional in their outlook. The Spanish women who will sleep around are those who are divorced and a bit older and lonely.

    I list Germany as a country to not try to establish relations because most German women are very race conscious but do not really show it on the outside. They won’t curse at you or attack you but they will go out of their way to avoid you.

  22. Hi

    I’m an Indian guy, age 50, lived in London all my life, and modern thinking, open minded.

    Read this thread of comments with interest.

    I married a great Indian girl, but have cousins and know many people and younger kids in our community who have married white girls / guys too. I have seen both the cultural marriages and the international marriages.

    Firstly, love is destiny. If one falls in love with an Indian or European girl, or guy, one cannot control ones heart, the way we have been brought up and our preferences are deep seated, hormonal & not totally in our control.

    There are plenty of same culture & also international marriages which have both succeeded or failed.

    It all depends on the strength of connection and underlying values, and open mindedness. Family acceptance of a cross cultural marriage helps a lot.

    Usually one partner will have to sacrifice to the other partners way of life, for a marriage to be successful.

    This is the essential truth in any successful union.

    Life is short, harsh and often not as we would like it. We should therefore look, at the underlying person, their values connection deeply , before marriage.

    From a business viewpoint, cross cultural marriages are a huge loss deal, for either a white or Indian person.

    I realise many will not agree, but it’s the harsh truth.

    It takes great understanding and flexibility to overcome this, and as one ages beyond 50, one may understand more why I say it. I also realise many younger people may brand me as an old fashioned etc for my views.

    Nothing is further from the truth. But reality and society are different to blind love, as people often discover.

    A cross cultural marriage often destroys the cultural background and religious identity of the children. Does the child of such a marriage pray to Jesus or Krishna ?

    The answer is none usually. The religious and cultural identity are destroyed. You just live life atheistically.

    There are huge implications to this. Religion, social identity, way if life, these are important to a persons sense of identity. Culture of thousands of years is wiped out totally. The identity of community and sense of pride, status and self belonging is wiped out. None of this matters when things are going well. It’s when tragedy strikes, e.g. death of partner, major illness, loss of job of money problem, etc, that’s when the other partner will realise their loneliness. And often the family will not support the partners much in a cross cultural marriages, the differences are too great for natural bonding to arise. Centuries of cultural traditions which are designed to bond families together are wiped out.

    The answer is basically you’re on your own.

    So if you enter a cross cultural marriage, be sure of the strength of the values, family acceptance, and that your goals are common, else in tragedy situations it’s far worse than a same culture marriage, as you lose support from family, siblings and the community, and most importantly your self identity and social bbe longing. Having said this, no doubt as more cross cultural marriages happen, a new community of cross cultures is forming & may become a new community.

    From a business viewpoint in terms of long term gain, if one marries outside culture, and throws away religion, etc, then one should make sure you’re getting great something in return, perhaps connection ( not lust ), great values morals and ethics, and / or great beauty , money etc as these things are also reality. Otherwise in my opinion it’s a loss deal. Plenty of same culture marriages fail too, but there is stronger family support in crisis times generally. International marriages , the couple is on their own, so their values and connection need to be stronger, else they suffer more in tragedy.

    Ultimately, God has a destiny according to karma, so what happens will happen, but one also has a choice in life and bears fruits or pain according to choice too.

    Sincerely
    Robert

  23. I am an Austrian girl and have been in India many times, and to be honest, Indian people, both men and women are attractive, more so when they smile which does not seem to be common in Europe.

    And yes, I got chatted up a lot, sorry to say that most times it is about physical relations’ which is definitely not my style.
    But I am glad I found friends too, friends I can trust whenever I meet them on my visits to this beautiful country. I have always been old fashioned – marriage is forever and a short spell to ‘modern lifestyle’ completely convinced me of that fact, I am a oneguy girl. I am vegetarian, avoid alcohol, pray and work hard, love to cook for my friends (for my siblings and parents too but those times I have to keep low on Indian spices).

    But one Indian guy made me seriously fall in love with him. Starting from friendship, writing and speaking on the phone nearly daily. After five months I went to visit him we lived together like a married couple for the duration of my holiday because in my heart he is my husband and he still Did not tell his parents. Now he is telling me he can not tell his parents, so all the talk before about marriage and kids and everything. He made me feel safe with loving him, giving my whole heart.

    By the way, I am not to offend anyone – some of my friends have similar issues with their boyfriends coming from their own culture, first it’s serious and after some time they just get anxious to lose their freedom.

    A European girl/white girl can love an Indian guy, but how can a girl know this guy will take it seriously?

    Just don’t leave anyone in dark about your intentions, its hurting too much.

    1. Parents are perhaps the largest impediment for foreigners marrying an Indian male or female because they are the enforcers and protectors of Indian culture. Indian youth might be open minded but the parents have a strict sense of who their children should marry. It is not like in Europe or America where there is a greater acceptance.

      The issue is here the man in all cases must be the hero and be able to either win the parents or not care. For example, as an American, I love and respect my parents but I will always marry who I want, even if it goes against their view. This is the story of Romeo and Juliet.

      You sound like an idealistic girl. I do not know what to say other than the guy has to be the one to be your champion even if it is against his parents, if not than it could be trouble latter one. It has to be you and him against the world or nothing, that is he has to fight for your love in a romantic way.

  24. I agree with the OP’s analysis but I completely disagree with the solution. Do not – ever – under any circumstances change yourself or (i.e. ‘radically alter your style’ and ‘don’t be a geek’) for a woman.

    If someone is not falling in love with who you are built to be as a person, what’s the point? And why do men (especially Indian men) always feel that they need to change for women? Are we to be slaves in the quest for love and happiness? What is with Indian men always feeling they need to change, especially for white women? Fuck that. Strangely enough it’s the guys who don’t give a cent that somehow do the best.

    Having been married and now separated, I cannot stress enough that manufacturing a persona simply to attract someone is a) incinerating any self respect you have for yourself and b) will get you into deep shit when your ‘true colours’ are discovered. Do not do it.

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