American girls Who are Traditional

I am a corn feed American boy born and raised. I was born on flag day and JFK was President in Philadelphia a stones through away from the Liberty bell. I am in fact a Libertarian because I believe in the US constitution. I love America. However, that does not mean I have to marry an American woman. Patriotism is not synonymous with the obligation to marry someone from your own country.

Never confuse woman’s liberation with the genuine liberation of women.

I believe in Family and Traditional values. Women in the US who are against this are not my cup of tea.

Feminism has told women up is down and down is up. The affect on American girls and society is divorce, single motherhood and an endless supply of women that will give it up easy only to find themselves middle ages and trying to find their last chance guy, who rarely materializes.

  • I guess my main complaint about the culture of American dating is its obsession with materialism and superficial things that do not matter. What matters is love. Not career or ego or even friends. Family and love.

Read some Thomas Kempis and contrast it with Maureen Dowd. Maureen Dowd is in her 60s and still single by way, I am not.  I am just saying be aware and make your own choice rather than just accept the society you have been born into.

Example of an American female nightmare and home wrecker

A co-worker of mine name Jane has five young kids and ran off with another man because her husband would not change. Her husband has no bad habits loves her and bends over backwards. She just got pumped up by her friends and found some home wrecker to shack up with and is now suing the husband for the money her father-in-law game them.

Good wife – my Mom

In in traditional marriage countries like Poland, husbands wives truly love each other and have a happy family and live a fairy-tale. I know I am also Polish. My parents have been together over 60 years in marriage and five children.

So the question out there to you American girls is what life do you want?

Do you want the life of every one of my neighbors who are going through boyfriends like carousels at a theme park before their juice has run dry and they are old alone and bitter? Or a fairy-tale romance?

Flight and flake out factor with American singles women

For American guys, I think the flight factor and flake out factor too high to risk marrying an American girl. I live in the Bible belt and even here girls swap husbands like clothes in a dressing room at Marshall’s or TJ max.

Ironically divorce in America, is least in North Eastern States like Massachusetts and New Jersey because of the higher percentage of Catholics and Muslims.

My recommendation is: marry a foreign lady friend. My wife loves me with all her heart as I love her and we will not ever leave each other. That I know for a fact. We are committed above our own personal happiness.

The world is large. You do not expect to marry a girl from your apartment complex. The why put boundaries on yourself. My blog contains specific concrete advice and dating tips on finding a foreign lady friend, from dating sites to choose to how to get a visa to help your sweetheart to the States.

True American manifest destiny is to expand reaches of your dating search

I am an American and I am married in Europe.  I can see objectively that American girls can be beautiful, but for me more like fine art or even a type of horse. That is they have beauty, but I am in no way attracted to American girls.  I can see objectively they are beautiful, however, they do not appeal to me in a man woman type of way. I know this sounds hard but it is just the way it is, what can I do. There is not sparkle or magic. What happened?  I moved to Europe, that is what happened, actually Eastern Europe and the women I meet here opened my eyes about a few things. Once I started meeting Polish or Russian or Ukrainian girls. I just lost my interest totally in American girls. Again why?

This is a huge generalization, but many, but not all, American girls are materialistic and play games in dating, they have lost their way in terms of what understanding what love is about.  In fact the American girls who take love and marriage seriously, are annoyed by the ones who do, that is the ones who take their cues from pop culture, Sex in the City and Cosmo magazine.

The modern American girl often, put career first and marriage and love and family second. I have always believed love is first and career means nothing. Family is everything.

Even in the heartland American females, do not care about their shape or style, and their lack of femininity is manifest similarly in their aggressive attitudes towards all men who try to flirt with them.

If you are an American guy

Run, do not walk away from the idea that you need to marry the girl next door. The world is full of beautiful women and if you are open-minded about other cultures and people, then why not date a beautiful Russian girl who will cook and take care of you and wants to have children? I mean this. Why would I lie? I and many of my friends married girls from other countries and are happy we did. Think about your relationships in America and if they really were a fairy-tale or something that you had to work at? I am sorry I do not have to work in my relationship. It is just peace and harmony.

Please consider that the world is full of opportunities.

I need to put these qualifying statements here as of course, America is a big country, I am just talking about a social trend. There are many good conservatives, nonmaterialistic American girls, this post is not about these girls.  More about the average liberal quasi materialistic American girls. American girls often do not respect men in dating and love (maybe the same could be said for American guys, but this is more written for guys looking for a wife).

If you marry an American girl you will have a 60%  chance of divorce, a foreign girl less then 20%.  American girls do not make great wives for many reasons.  I think if I was an American guy, I would consider, Russian girls, Spanish girls, Romanian girls or Japanese girls for a lady friend.

Where to look for non-American girls

  • I give you many specific websites on this site where you will find foreign girls for free. These are international mail servers in the girls language.  Many girls speak American English but with others you will need to learn a little of the language.
  • If you can not use mail servers, try an online dating site.

American girls demand equality but do not play fair

This is the biggest problem. The women from American who demand equality, which I agree with, are the ones themselves who often do not treat men as equal. They are more superficial than guys.

Look at the lame ads American girls put on sites like  They want, but will not say it, a guy who is 6’4″ dark hair, blue eyes, making over 100,000 dollars a year, will cook and clean and play with their cats and accept the fact that they will spend girls night out at bars dancing with other men etc, and still they will not like you.

I am a good-looking guy and do well professionally but to an American girl, you will never be anything special. My American friends basically conveyed the same thing. Further, American females focus on their jobs until 35 want some guy to have their kids, after being in love 5 times before. Who wants a lady who has not been able to commit to marriage before they prove themselves in their career. Therefore, American girls are the bottom of the barrel relationship-wise if you meet a career gal who does not want a family. They are at the top is they want a family.

I left America and American girls to meet the princess of my dreams and I am living happily ever after.  My wife cares more about my spiritual soul, then my money and my job or what I look like. She loves my and I adore her as my princess.  If you are an American guy you can have this dream. You can have a princess from a fairy-tale.  But I think not in America.  Why? American girls are often spoiled, and into their careers rather than family centered. Please comment if you want to know more where to look or if you feel the same about American girls.

By Mark Biernat

I live in with family between two worlds, US and Europe where I create tools for language learning. If you found my site you probability share my passion to be a life long learner. Please explore my site and comment.

135 replies on “American girls Who are Traditional”

You make it sound like a bad thing to be a materialistic and actually have a job. It’s GOOD. More women should stand up for their rights, and a man who discourages that doesn’t deserve to be respected by his wife, since he doesn’t respect her.

Also, being a liberal doesn’t make a women a bad person. I personally dissagree with conservative values, but I don’t think conservatives are mean or rude people. Some are, but so are some liberals. You shouldn’t judge people on that.

Juliet, Being liberal or conservative does not make you a good or bad person. This is a very good point. Many people think because they are liberal (or conservative) they are smarter or more compassionate. Well I meet compassionate liberals and conservatives equally.

I am an American in Eastern Europe. Most women here think materialistics are cheating themselves out of their own lives. I live in a culture where men kiss girl’s hand and truly love and want to be with their family and dream of family, not work. And women really think working for some boss is stupid compared to being with your family. They work for some stupid boss only if they have to. I am a guy and I can not think of any greater joy than being with my family. Career is for fools as you can not take it with you when you die, love you can.

Did you see the movie ‘Slum dog millionaire’? Does money, really mean anything? I think to American women career and money is more important than family in many cases.

I’m looking to date a foreign girl. Why? I too love my nation and am a proud America, but a lot of women here have their priorities so back words. I love a competitive woman, I love a working woman, I love someone who can help me support children, but that’s where it ends. So many women in America shun and do not value love. They are obsessed with the wrong things, aren’t committed, and aren’t loyal (I know from experience). I for one am now willing to take a chance and fall in love with a foreign girl, if it means I can have family values, a long term relationship, be looked at as a human being and find true love.

Sorry honey, he’s calling it like it is. As always, some girls never want to believe the truth.

Your comment only serves to put an exclamation point on everything the author said in the article.
A job is not “good” its necessary. It not life, its what you do to have a life.
Feminism has stolen all the sweeter gifts of life to women, replacing it with what? A job?
Love, marriage, kids, are the basics of life. Rewarding, gratifying, fulfilling. A job? Pure materialism.
Its a matter of brain washing, because I do not know many guys who would turn down the chance to be Mr Mom. Feminists need to denigrate motherhood because logic does not support them, but I would rather be a stay at home dad than have a career. For all its downsides, the mother is actually living her life, while the career woman is drudging for a check.
I would rather stay home as Mr Mom than work, because what I do is meaningful and serves me and my family.
I succeeded, and retired early, and now I am full-time dad to my 3 sons.
Career? How empty How pointlsss.

I always thought marrying an American is the best choice EVER!.
Now you truly threw me off.. Can we chat online?. I got a bunch of questions.

Hi Mustafa, We can talk chat here about American girls, ask any questions you like. I am American and I think I am pretty honest about American women. I think many guys from other cultures see American girls as beautiful because of TV and movies or they are exotic as they are different from their own culture, but they are not. American girls can be educated yes, but as wives, no way, they will not bring you peace.

I am glad that your so very happy with your foreign princess. Great for both of you.

I have to say I grew up in American which makes me mostly westernize but born in a foreign country and raised by very traditional parents which instill me with some of the (qualities) you mention. The devotion to put family above all else or such as a deep desire to transpire my husband’s happiness as mine own. Unless he is committing a crime or anything else detrimental to our relationship I do agree that I like to to do what ever makes him happy.

My very own happiness depends on his happiness. However as a woman living in America, its true we have been corrupted not in a bad way (we don’t ask you to climb Mt. Everest, Rob a bank or murder the President for us). Simple things like going shopping with us, or buying us flowers or knowing what we like sometimes.

I have struggle with my two very opposite wifey personalities for a long time. In my neighborhood I help cut the Lawn, shovel snow while most of my American neighbor wives never do any of these outside work as stay at home moms. Is it taboo? I wonder.

I see my stay at home neighbor walk down to the mail box grab her mail and walks right past the empty trash bin by the curb after trash day and never once will pull it back into the garage. It is as if to do so might convey to her husband the opportunity to start a rebel against all the set chores she carved into stone for him. He puts in a garden for her and never once I saw her out there helping him even with light stuff that she could help with. I began to wonder about how much expectations a American wife is setting down for her man. I know she stays home and does the cooking and cleaning but to be honest most American dinners are so simple to make.

American men’s meal choices are simple. Meat and side dish. What astound me is that all the American women (single and married) I talk to find it disgusting to touch raw poultry or meat. Really? How do they feed their families? What do they do all day? Sometimes I laugh at how naive and simply minded the average American man is. Not judging him by his money making meter but at just how little expectations they have at home of their wives. I have to admit inside I am little jealous and if it were not the voice of reason in me holding me back I want to grab me one of those hard working idiots.

However on that note don’t think just because your wife values you and your happiness doesn’t mean she has no feelings or desires or even expectations of her own. You have to give in order to take or she might start to envy and start eying the Joe the neighbor guy.
Sign, Not yet corrupted but getting there wifey.

I appreciate the honest feedback. Being subservient as a wife or husband to the ideal of marriage does not mean you can not have dreams and desires and deep feelings. On the contrary you tend to feel most alive as a human when you live the diccordialomy.

I guess I do not know enough information about your to reply. Where does your sense of values or world view come from? Do they come from being taught a certain way or are they authentically derived from some internal self-discovered sense of ideal? This is the salient point. If it is the former I can expect internal anxiety to culminate into boredom or corruption. If it comes from self derived ethics than you will see this as nothing more than a test rather then throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Look I maybe the wrong person to ask, as I am a sort of ascetic and believe in ascetic practices. I think our monthly bills are about $1,500 dollars a month for my daughter, my wife and myself. Yet we live a life of beauty as I live on a tropical island in Florida on the beach in a Luxury condo and have nice clothes and car and travel. Nothing is denied. We grow out own organic vegetable and go fishing. We bike or walk to most places. I have not turned on my cell phone nor recharged it in weeks.

This all came about since we just moved to the USA last year and am starting over economically. When I left the USA ten years ago, I was making easy 100k a year, I have a Masters in economics and a move and shaker. Now I am more an entrepreneur. I understand that I may make money or I may not. yet I believe in God’s ways are not man’s ways and the road to happiness in life and marriage is not about wanting to consume the whole world.

My wife does want more as I do as does my daughter. This is natural. We are humans. There is nothing wrong with that. It is a great motivation. It is fun to have stuff. As long your desire for a bigger car and house is not the goal in your life. Love is a lot more important than keeping up with the Jones. Often the neighbors family only looks good in the pictures and if you lived that life you would realizes the grasses is not greener just artificial.

Sure I could return to NYC and work on Wall Street and have a nice house in the burbs, but my daughter will never be 4 years old again. I would rather be poor and be with her. My wife and I spend 24/7 together. How could I trade that for the newest mobile gadget?

I live on Anastasia island and it is beautiful. My life is a fantasy. I would not want to trade it for anyone’s in the world.

My recommendation is that you actualizes your dreams and hopes in creative ways. Start a website, write a book get a PhD (or another one). being a good wife does not mean having no mind of your own or dreams, but rather in the partnership of marriage, you are submissive (as I am as a husband) to the greater good of marriage. And within this content you can move mountains and live your dream. Outside, once you go down the path of the dark side and give into corruption you will find it a hard road back from the bottom. Let me know if this makes sense.

For all the foreign guys out there, the administrator is right-on when talking about American women. Granted there are some good women with good values in America, but a majority are controlling, overweight demanding women. They are not particularly dedicated to their spouse. I have began dating exclusively foreign women and they seem so much more attractive and grounded.

In my personal experience American women do not even come close to South American or European women in terms of beauty and charm. If the American woman does, I would tread carefully as it is simply not in American culture for a woman to want to make her man happy. There are some exceptions of course but generally American women physically and culturally are more like men. Do you wan to date a man? I do not. I prefer tall slim leggy Russian girl with a PhD in literature and dreams of making her husband happy compared to a bossy hyper opinionated materialistic American lady who thinks size 12 is good and does not know how to cook, and thinks this is OK. If you were to be married to an AW who will be cooking for the family?
With AW my friends say they do battle at least once a week if they are in a relationship. Whatever happened to submitting your ego and being loyal in love?

you are right on the money, man.

I am an asian living in United States from the past ten years. I understand what you are talking about, especially better as an outsider.

What do you think is the best way to approach AW for dating and just making friends?

I absolutely agree with you on this article, I am myself am from another country, and dated few American girls. The reality of the situation is that they (majority) lack Cultural understanding, have no realistic perspective on life, are spoiled ADHD and bipolar egoist brats, and will treat a relationship like a RAG!!!! you will NEVER feel that spiritual bond with American girls, they are unloyal and unthankful, I’ve never seen such dull and empty woman in my life. Even the ones that are Educated; have a brain of a spoiled child, not only they contradict themselves, but don’t even admit when they do do harm to you!

If you plan to marry happily and have compassionate and understanding partner stay away from American girls at all costs. Unless you get really lucky, know how to handle them, or want to spend next few years splitting half of your assets in Divorce court.

It is interesting that you are from another country and say this. This is what American guys almost universally say about American women. I know there are wonderful women in the USA, but to find the is next to impossible during the dating phase. The world is full of adventure and is very large and there is no reason you need to play the childish games many American women play.


I am an American man and I support and will vouch for everythign that just a guy is saying. American women are belligerent, cordial-headed, dominating, lazy, spoiled and DERANGED! To say the least. Yes, most appear to have mental issues, which have probably been manifested through manipulation of their midns at a young age, which hindered proper neurological and spiritual development. Its really ashame, but American women are volatile and not fit for marriage.

Please, my advice is not to keep awawy from American women at all costs. The laws in this country are also very materialistic-based. Just look at the feminazis who are being put up in our Supreme Court. This is a bad country to be if you’re a man and if you do get married here, make sure you have some cordial scordial lawyers who can devise a well planned out prenupital, because you’re going to need it!

I have seen so many American men ruined by women here. Yes, many women here are also single mohters, because many men have lost faith in being good fathers and husband. Instead they feel their only real worth is friendshipual relations. Of course, the feminazis blame all this on men, but will never take a look at their own participation in any of society’s problems. Its so easy to blame the male gender for all the problems!! Most men cannot stay in a relation with an American woman and escape, even leaving their children behind. If the woman doesn’t rape their spirit, the courts will!

I rather die than let any woman take my chidlren, so I am definately not fit for marrying an American woman.

I’m an American man and have to agree that most American women are not worthy of being wives. That said, I am married to one of the rare good ones. I was lucky. I did everything wrong in the modern American mating dance(paid for dinner every time, Valentine’s purchases, opening doors, etc.). You know, the things that get you disrespected and dumped in the “friends” bin. Fortunately for me, my wife is an anachronism. She actually likes this type of behavior. The vast majority of AW are greedy, self-centered, demanding, non-reflective harpies. Their “needs” even trump that of their own children. This is the reason that they have no problem destroying their own families in order to get what they want. This is the reason that 75% of divorces in the U.S. are initiated by women. They want what they want when they want it and it doesn’t matter who gets hurt in the process. I know because I watched my own mother do it. When AW feel guilty about something they have done, they will find a way to blame someone else. This helps them to alleviate the need to accept responsibility for their own actions. It’s always the man’s fault. Do yourself a favor. Never get involved in a relationship with an AW. It is simply too difficult and dangerous to wade through the 100 square mile sewage tank of American dating life in order to find a tiny diamond. You probably will not be as lucky as me.

Thanks for the comment. I have always said there are many sincere loving American women that could be great in marriage. However, that being said, somehow the culture of my youth, America, changed and my ideals about love and romance and family meet the reality of American women who were hyper consumptive self centered almost anti family. I am very happy that you found your love, I know in America it is harder than most places but it is possible.

I personally as an American man look at relationships different. I don’t have to have a woman or anyone to feel complete or happy. I travel internationally and find the ladies outside of America to be wonderful. American women are way too difficult to deal with in and only seem to care about getting drunk and messed by some thugs. They may be nice in a business meeting but are like a wicked witch outside of work.

My advice is to never trust an American female, she most likely will stab you in the back when you least expect it. Ever notice how many American girls are sloppy, dirty looking and give men the perception that she is doing you a favor by even speaking to you. I say look but don’t bet the farm on American women, you may lose your butt.

I’m assuming you’re from Eastern Europe, because most Western Europeans (like Italy, Germany, Spain, even the more conservative UK) have the opposite opinion of what you think. I admire tough, liberal, outgoing women, and more quiet, reserved, conservative women.

Either way, they’re both kind and respectful! The only difference is one class of women are more outgoing and not as traditional, while the opposite is true! And Spain is a materialistic country what are you talking about.
And most materialistics in America stand by their man.
You would rather prefer a woman from Russia or Estonia.

What a great article! As an American man, I can personally agree with just about every word of it. Feminism is a joke! The results of it speak for itself. I never did understand why women in this country have to be this way. It’s really sad to put career and job first before your own family. That is just wrong and play chess withed up in so many ways. Since I do live in this country though, I basically have no choice but to co-exist with AW. I can get along with them, befriend them, and sometimes hang out with them just fine. However, I will NEVER marry one. It would take a miracle from God to send a marriage worthy AW my way. Anyways, my plan is to finish my college education, get a good paying job so I can save money, and then go traveling to experience the different cultures. Eastern Europe is first on my list. I would love to get to know the people and the cultures. One day, I may even emigrate to western Ukraine…who knows?

American women are great as friends and co workers and business partners, but if you are thinking of marrying an American woman for the rest of your life, think this. Think very hard and consider what people have written on this website. Consider that the world is a very large place. It is not about a group of people but a social trend called feminism that has affected society. Some cultures are pro-marriage and family and some are not. Do you want to marry a girl who spoiled and not traditional? I do not. You do not have to spend the rest of your life with the girl next door if she will give you a hard time and want material comfort in a marriage.
Go for a girl that is: not materialistic, will not hassle you, and cooks and loves to take care of her family more than her boss or girls night out with her girlfriends. If you think you can find and American girl like that go for it, but my recommendation is consider girls from all over the world. My friends that married girls from Eastern Europe are all universally glad they did.
My friends that married American women, well they have told me they are waiting for the sweet kiss of death to set them free. Those are not my words. Of course not all American women are like this, but culturally materialistic thinking has destroyed a lot of lives.

I agree entirely, in my experience, American women can make amazing friends and co-workers. However, I sincerely doubt I will meet one that can be my wife. Not too long ago, I had to pay a visit to one of the local malls here in Phoenix, AZ because I was shopping for a suit and tie. It was a rather large mall and 95% of the stores are all catered for women. So anyways, the floors are naturally littered with women doing their shopping. It was hard to find a man walking around but I did see this one couple. The man looked like he was around 40ish and he was holding hands with a beautiful Asian girl. For some reason, this combination reminded me of feminism and how messed up it really is. Well admin, it really s to hear about your friends that are married to American women and can’t wait for the sweet kiss of death. That is just sad and unfortunate and I wish it didn’t have to be that way for them. I do my best to learn from these instances and make the wisest choice in finding a wife. As it is, my attention is now focused on Eastern Europe and that probably won’t change.

I do not know how you got so wise. Usually guys do not figure this out until it is, to late. I tell people, do not get smart to late. The world is full of opportunity. I am very pro marriage and family and consider idealistic about love. I believe in true love. I just do not think you need to marry someone from your own culture. Find someone that will really turn your world upside down, someone that you can not live without, your other half. Even if they come from the other side of the world.

Well, I didn’t get wise overnight. I am 29 and going to be 30 in a couple of months. After I graduated high school, I joined the U.S. Air Force and served four years of active duty. I was honorably discharged and gained a lot of experience about military life. In my early twenties, I used to go out to the bars and clubs in the U.S. to meet girls. I found it extremely difficult for any of the cordial ones to take an interest in me. I started feeling like something was wrong with me because I would always see the girls end up with other guys that would treat them like crap. I never did understand why but I didn’t know any better back then. Now I am in college and more educated about American society, after being exposed to the reality of feminism I finally know the truth. The problem isn’t with me, the problem is with this annoying social trend that has done more harm than good. I guess I am one of the lucky men in America that didn’t end up with a life-ing AW and I am thankful for it. It seems like almost every married man I have talked to would say things to me like “never get married, it isn’t worth it” or “everything you say to your wife is wrong, she is always right and the only way to avoid an argument is to say yes dear.” When I hear stuff like this I start to think…is this what I have to look forward to in marriage? Are you kidding me?? How on Earth can these wives be so damn selfish!? It is just stuff like this that has made me extremely cautious of women in this country. I will be looking forward to traveling to Eastern Europe for a long time. It will be a breath of fresh air.

I have read some of the articles in this site. I am amazed! What you guys tell me is like a revolution to my mind! I thought I was sic! Mentally ill!! I could not understand why everything always went bad. Now I see… I have been brainwashed by the materialistics.

Serious, I am very grateful towards your enlightening about woman truth. I live in Norway, and the article about AW, it is just like Norwegian woman, maybe even worse! We have HUGE problems in kinder garden and school, with ADHD and Autism. The divorce statistics went sky-high and we have growing amounts of homo-marriage. Everything is just really sic! Thank you soooo much for your help to understand, I am not sic, they are!

I would really love to “blog this message out in Norwegian. May I translate some of this (or every) articles? I will off course add link to the original paper.

I would be really happy to receive consent on mail.

If those ladies really treasure family life –like I get my impression of here, they are worth their own weight in gold, at least…

Thanks for the comment Peter. See, girls here that look like runway models tell me all they want is to find the one love of their life. They say they are very domestic and want to take care of their family. In fact I had a student of mind tell me that a few hours ago. The other women around the table were saying they agree, feminism is a bad thing and has hurt many people and relationships. They think being a domestic woman is a positive good thing. These women all have master’s degrees, intellectually curious, love to travel and are knock outs. Why? The culture is different. In the west guys almost believe there is no alternative. Life is hard and either they do not get married or they do get married and are divorced or existing.
I live in Eastern Europe. believe me, girls here thing feminism is a scam by the media. The irony is the attractive girls thing feminism wrong and the less them attractive ones are the ones screaming.
The closest thing I have meet to materialistics in Eastern Europe is Femen and they are normal girls looking to help their nation politically not the American girl model.
I think highly of Norway, by they way and I am aware this has spread there. I am very sorry to here that. The good news is the world is full of opportunity.

While I have never been to the USA im still aware that you are talking about the “average” American women and can beleive it as this has spread to certian parts of Western Europe too, while it might not be a s bad, it certainly has a degree of “not being family orientated” anymore, how many parents charge thier children rent at 17??…or the children just decide to leave home asasp. Result of a great family life at home?…cant of been that good. This is definatly happening in the UK but has alwys happened in certain Northern European cultures.largely Pretestant, but is also hitting the more traditional countires like Spain….but atleast it has beena able to keep its core culture and isnt Americaniszed, but still its changing.

Anyway, as youve mentioned before, there are many American women that are more traditionl even if they might not know or even be interested in the outside world…as the US is well known to be very insular and not know much about other cultures and alternatives, basically their view is the “right view”. eerrr….not it isnt because this veiw isnt the whole world….im from the UK and have always had the view that the way we think here isnt the whole world…and that this is why western nations have embraced multiculturalism as the way forward..and is now thier culture…which means that we must beleive in everything…whcih basically means that we dont beleive in our own core values anymore….this looks good but it has still kept most western nations very ignorant about the other cultures that have come to stay in thier host nations….

My question is what parts of the USA have nice friendly traditional women??….id imagine small towns??….what states mainly southern?…Texas?…others?…..This might not work for Ameircan men but it seems that American girls love English guys…more than any other foreign guy….to the extent that English guys who dont have much luck with english girls, go to the USA and fell they never want to come back…..but how ultimatly superficial this may be..i dont know…but still it just goes to show you how you can be perceived in another country comepared to your own……

I agree with lot of what you said Pedro, but USA is no more close in its thinking then many European nations. Actually, many countries around the world copies the culture of the USA. As far as multi-national, no country has any many different nationalities and mixed number of people as the USA. I live in neighborhood, one neighbor is from Ukraine, the other neighbors are Chinese, the other neighbors are white-anglo types. There is Indian HIndu family living behind my house and Arabic muslim family in another.

However, I will say this, except for muslims, most people who live in USA, regardless of race will adapt to the secular, modern and sterilized American culture. This has nothing to do with being isolated or insular. USA, about 100 years ago was a totally different country with a totally different culture. Today, most people are just giving into the modern culture of secularism, consumerism, s_xual liberation, etc. Really, most Americans are identical to people from Western and Northern Europe. I live in a very Nordic/Germanic city, so the German culture here really is prevalent.

Now, you want to know where you can find the most friendly and traditional woman. Well, my advice is to go to Amish country in Pennsylvania. You will find people who are more traditional than anyone you ever met in Europe, I promise you that. However, good luck marrying one of them. These people truly are insular and in order to marry an Amish, you have to be an Amish. Get your straw farmer hat and moustache-less beard ready.

Texas?? You got to be kidding. You planning on marrying some cowgirl from a farm? The girls in texas are wild. If you are coming to USA to find a good , kind and traditional woman you better hope she just arrived off the boat from a country where women are still like this.

This is America. The land of the macho, tough, liberated, business-saavy and independent American woman. American women are vultures and will either be after your wallet or trying to conquer you. Most American women want a man who will submit to them and make them feel superior, intellectually.

American women are married first to their careers, second to their girlfriends, third to their children and fourth to you.

Feminism and bra-burning started in this country and all the other countries followed suit afterwards. Homos_xuality is also common amongst women in USA.. In the city I live, about 30% of the women are homos_xuals. Also, the liberal use of tattoos and facial piercings on women in the USA I find very disgusting. Only in USA can you find a corpulent girl with dyed hair, hundreds of tattoos and nasty tongue piercing. Well, I guess England has a few of those too. LOL

Truth be told Yonatan, some of these girls in the US have so many tattoo’s stamped on their bodies that they look like human landscapes..yuck! I live in the Phoenix area of Arizona and this city is infested with tattooed guys and girls. It makes me wonder if there is a tattoo processing plant around here and they come off the assembly line. I’m curious to know which city you come from that you describe as Nordic/German.

Pedro, I would not recommend this country to you or any guy to find a wife. If you want a cool friend that you can watch a game with or work with in a job, then American girls can be good for that. You ask about the friendliest type of girls here? Well you generally find those types in a church but there is a risk that many of them may not be traditional. I once read about a guy who has traveled to all 50 states and he listed his stats on what kind of people inhabit those states. The friendliest he found come from the Dakota’s and Vermont, probably because it is very rural there with small town folk. Don’t even think about Texas, that state has the most arrogant people in this entire country. That’s about all I can say at the moment.

I’m an American woman working on my masters and I have to agree that there is an excellent point to be made here.
Children are raised in such a messed up environment in the majority of the US today. Although I’d miss my family, I’m seriously considering moving elsewhere purely for my children’s benefit once I’m ready to have them.
At my university, there are so many study abroad students and I find that I would much rather have them as friends than many of the sorority/fraternity students. I also tend to notice that quite a few of the international students date other international students, even if they’re not from the same country, rather than an American. This applies for both males and females.
I don’t believe I fall under the US media’s portrayal of the American woman (at least I pray I don’t) but I will admit I do have some of the characteristics (I am American after all). This especially applies to my lack self confidence at times, like most humans.
For one thing, it’s not safe for me just to walk to class by myself here even in broad daylight. Therefore, please don’t blame me for being cautious and suspicious when strange men approach me, especially with the way it’s become appropriate / common for men to treat women like s_x objects. I purposely dress down when going out to avoid this now. Sometimes we adjust the way we act just so we can deal with those sick types of men.
As for finding love overseas, I hear all this about the ladies, but what about European men? I realize now that us American women are seen as lazy, controlling, and greedy man-eaters. I was just curious though for those that are actually looking for a good man, are men across the globe any better? Do you have any opinion on this? Once I save up the money, I plan on finding out. For now though, I’m stuck here . . .
Please know that some of the comments made here, although meant for men who wish to find a good wife, when read by American women are really harsh. Generalizations like these are the reason many women have self confidence issues, believe no men would truly want them, and turn towards feminism. They just want to feel that they are worthwhile and feel good about themselves (even if that motivation goes towards the wrong issue). With that being said, humans (especially Americans and yes, I’m considering both men and women) have come a long way from being civilized and courteous beings.
Sorry for all the generalizations I myself have made and please know that these are purely a few of my own opinions on the subject.

Joy, Your post really makes interesting points.
Not safe to walk to class in broad daylight? In America?
Our colleges have apparently completely given in to the liberal culture, and there is no “wrong”
Secondly. I am the ex of a foreign bride. Our marriage broke up because she became Westernized, but my divorce was nothing like the horror tales most men can tell you.
My point is, seeking a foreign bride is looked upon by outsiders as being for “losers” who cannot get a “real” wife.
Traditionally, it is older guys seeking a foreign bride because they have learned the hard way. Young guys believe the propaganda and have not been abused enough to seek alternatives. But now you see both younger men and women seeking an out.
My advice for you, if you want a better place to raise kids, is the Philippine. Its very child friendly, Western friendly, cheap to live, always warm, and English is very commonly spoken.

Plenty of good men in USA.. Perhaps your very high American expectations of men is why you feel you need to run somewhere else. In the case of men, I think it is well deserved that they go overseas, because American women are as bad as you say. Many of them are selfish, dominating, overweight, backstabbing, dishonest and with a 50-60% divorce rate, not very promising to be there in the end.

As far as the perverts and freaky men who approach you, that is like 5% of the male population who does this. THey are more visible, because they are the ones who approach you. Most men in the USA shy away from going up to women and harassing or even flirting with them. These men are known as “Players” and are a certain breed of men. They are trained to behave like this and only represent a minority of the population.

You probably won’t like Eastern European men, because they are more traditional, controlling and have higher expectations of a woman to be a wife and mother rather than being a successful and powerful career woman, which is what most American men want.

There are many loving and caring American men who want a good wife. You know they go overseas as a last resort. Rather than finding a man who will appease you and all your desires, seek out a man who you can make happy and be kind and loving to you. TO consider the man as your king and honor him as that. He will truly honor you as his queen.

Good men are not found in the streets, but rather in churches, synagogues or in a structured environment, such as a group that does humanitarian or charity work. Also, groups that take part in constructive activities also are places where you find more noble men.

Clubs, bars, sports events, the “Players” on the college campus are all bad places to meet noble American guys.

I don’t fit any of those descriptions you mentioned for the typical American woman (although it seems quite a few do), except for being selfish. This doesn’t apply to what others spend on me though. I grew up in a poor environment and am glad I did. I learned to not waste money, time, or resources. Therefore what I’m mainly selfish about is time. I don’t like to waste mine or others.
I’m glad to hear about the 5% thing. Therefore, you must be right about places to meet men, but I just don’t know where to go and I’m not outgoing so approaching men is a difficulty.
Another thing is that I’m not afraid to settle down once I find my “prince” and we decide to make a family. There is no doubt in my mind that my children will be the most important thing in my life. Once they’re older, though, I probably will start working again when it doesn’t interfere with raising my children and helping raise grandchildren. I enjoy helping others and feeling useful through all aspects of my life. Doesn’t everyone? I want to help my husband be the best man that he can be and hope he’ll do the same for me (well best woman . . .).
These posts have got me thinking and probably will influence my actions. Although I knew American women portray many of the points mentioned, I hadn’t realized just how bad they had become in men’s eyes if these comments truly are accurate.

Joy, like I said do not listen to me, this is more for guys to encourage them to look in other places besides the the girl next door in America. I also am not talking about one person all American girls, but rather a culture that is very anti-romantic and very selfish. If you are an American girl and not like that, it does not apply. You seem pretty idealistic. It is very hard to find the person you should be with and the USA has a lot of players and people who do not respect women.
I mean what are you going to do 8 minute dating? Even some of my friends back in the USA that I thought were pretty good, cruise for the girl of the month they want to date. They are not looking for get married to a girl.
I guess it comes back to my main point. For a guy to fall in love and marry a girl and want to have a family with her, she has to be someone really special. Someone to inspire a guy. Not just another average girl. She has to be someone totally different.But the good news is every gal has a chance to make herself this way.

Places to meet guys?
In traditionally masculine venues.
Car racing- I used to drag race, and its swarming with a high percentage of guys.
Coin collecting- coin shows are very male dominated
Metal-detecting- Also male dominated
Motorcycling- again, male dominated
Shooting sports, and not necessarily firearms. Airguns, airsoft, paintball. All heavily male.
There are other male dominated things, as these are just prime suggestions, but to meet guys, get involved, and ask questions. Every sport and hobby has clubs and such, full of guys who would fall all over themselves to help a lady newbie.
Feminists love to say that men fear women who are smart and strong, but that is code for “angry lesbian” In truth, most men like smart, strong women, especially if the man is smart and strong too. Getting involved in traditionally masculine activities will bring you into contact with many nice guys, who will be delighted to find a lady who is truly interested in what interests them.
Ok gang, I mentioned these areas because they interest me. Must be other strongly male areas you can suggest.

Very interesting to read your comments, especially since they are not driven by anger.
So far as meeting foreign men, you should know that one of the reasons driving foreign ladies to seek Western men is either a problem or shortage in men.
Russian ladies outnumber the men, and alcoholism is epidemic there, so they look elsewhere. In the Philippines, infidelity and abandonment are rampant among the men.
In China, very few are Christian, or have any religion at all. The state limits couples to one child. This has caused massive termination of a pre-birth of girls, and high divorce rates for ladies who bear a girl.
And, to be honest, younger generations of American men are turning into pleasure seeking slackers who are only around for the relations and someone to help with the rent. Few care for marriage, and fewer have the values to make it work.
All the love sites I have been on had accommodation for ladies as well as men, I just did not bother to look. Maybe you could check out a South American country, where values remain, and there is no ugly secret about the men driving the ladies away.
God bless your search.

So, your an American man, who is saying that American men are good mates and only American women are bad mates. However you portray the men in foreign countries as being the bad guys, while the women there seems to be of ideal wife for you. If their women are good materials then why does the men there treat them so bad? Could it be because the women are so submissive they are allowing these bad behaviors?
Are you looking to push your limits on how far you can exploit women who will let you? It seems your opinion is only that.

It seems you brought your own agenda here, to use to accuse us terrible men, of all the untrue things you hate us for. Unreasoning hate is not good.
As a matter of fact, Western men are seen as ideal by the women of many countries. Western is many countries, such as America, Canada, Australia, all the UK countries. I speak as an American because I am an American.
This site focuses primarily on Russia and similar countries, and conditions are bad there. Economically, politically, and romantically. Many here can attest to it.
Alcoholism is epidemic among Russian men. Its a known fact. Russian women outnumber the men to start, then alcoholism eliminates even more men.
Russian women are stunning, intelligent, educated. If they have to look outside their country, why not the best?
I did not say any of the things you accuse me of. Very dishonorable of you to twist my words attempting to make me a bad guy.
I am not a bad guy. I am a highly intelligent, articulate, Christian. A good dad to my 3 sons, a good son to my parents, good brother to my 5 sisters. I worked 40+ years being productive before retirement.
Your arguments and opinions are invalid, thus, you must stoop to trying to destroy those who disagree. Its an old Nazi tactic. First, dehumanize the Jews, then its OK to destroys them.
That’s how you think.

Thanks for the information and sorry. I do realize I am “invading” a post that’s focusing on men trying to find love and therefore makes mostly accurate generalizations. I suppose I just wanted to voice my opinions so that men know not to completely give up on American women.

Hi Joy, you seem like a very intelligent and friendly woman with some good moral standings. Qualities that are, unfortunately, absent in most American men and women. Yonatan actually provides some good examples of places where you would most likely meet a good man. I would also like to add one more suggestion and that is golfing. Strange as that may sound and I don’t golf personally but when you think about it, how many ‘player’ types do you think you would see swinging a nine iron on a range? You are more likely to meet down to earth and peaceful type of men there. That is just an idea I’m throwing out. Also, I would agree with Admin that you should expand your horizons and explore other countries for that special someone. I can’t pinpoint which countries are the best for good men but I would ask Admin about that since he has much experience and has traveled to many places. You may need to just educate yourself on where to go. Start with google and use the right keywords, be creative. That is basically how I do it which is how I found this website to begin with. Admin provides a TON of insightful articles that teach me about women all over the world.

Joy said:
I’m glad to hear about the 5% thing. Therefore, you must be right about places to meet men, but I just don’t know where to go and I’m not outgoing so approaching men is a difficulty.

Ninja Gaiden, Admin , and of course, myself :D, have given some good advice..

Let me comment on what you said. First, you don’t have to worry about approaching men. What you need to think about is putting yourself in a comfortable environment where you can meet these decent gentleman your heart seeks after. Men have the God-given duty to approach you and most guys in the USA actually give raised eyebrows to overly-flirtatious women. Basically, you want to be modest, humble and polite. Engage yourself in an activity or group where you will be interacting with others, without any great risks.

Golf course may be good idea, but wouldn’t there be mostly older, married guys at the golf club?

Here are some suggestions I have of places to meet the gentleman.. I am not an expert here, but just think about these.. Maybe you can think of some of your own.. Be creative.. That is the first step in finding a good man:
1. Hiking groups
2. Nature watching
3. Classical Dancing/Music appreciation groups (when a man loves classical, he is most likely a gentleman, LOL)
4. Church/Tempe/Synagogue/Religious/SPiritual Groups
5. Yoga/Meditation groups
6. Organic Food events (healthy men are usually more caring, not always)

Most good guys are religious, IMO.

Yonatan mentioned that most good guys are religious. I believe this is true. Its possible to have values without religion, but without God, and His absolutes, values mean nothing, and can be abandoned at will, with no consequence.
I did not mention religion because I felt it was obvious, and in my experience, most church groups are female dominated.
I bet you could do a search online to find male-dominated hobbies and interests. Pick one or two that interest you the most, and get involved. Don’t pretend interest. Not only can it serve as a vehicle for meeting men, and ultimately, THE man, but it can also serve as a mutual interest between you down the road. That’s valuable.

I agree on all what you say in this blog! I’m 23 years old, an international student in the US and it’s my second year for me. When I first arrived here I really wanted to meet and start dating an American girl, since I’m going to school I thought it would be easier to mingle and maybe finding a girl that be my significant one. However I was really shocked by the reality of what values most of American girls have and what is the most important things they put first as their primary interests!! Unfortunately, as you mentioned, love, or family which are very important to me, are not the priorities. During my stay here, I have come to know and realize more things about American women, one of the notable traits most American women have is selfishness. I’m from a different cultural background and basically have different perspectives on many things, but I can now see why even some American men think the same as I do about American women, it’s obvious to me that feminism is taking over and even I feel that women here have more rights than men which I think is corrupting their values and making them more demanding that they forget the real values women should have and make them put the trivial things first. I also agree with you on being open to other countries and cultures, it totally worked with me, and here in the US! I find myself more into European girls because I have met lovely and understandable girls who have the values that match mine. Overall I don’t think that I will ever be able to cope with any American woman, as I’m already not thinking of dating American girls anymore.

If you are in America the best idea is to date a foreign girl. I wish it were not true but many American girls do not have the ideals they did in the past. This makes it really guys that do.

Dear admin, I just wanted to thank you for opening my eyes, I am a Indian Muslim girl born in the Middle East, the thing is that what you have said about American girls opened my eyes because here most of the girls think that men are very happy with American girls rather than Indian girls, here in India most of the girls think being dominant and exposing your body is something that has to do with your right to freedom, the acceptance of the American culture in Indian society is also leading to divorces and bad relations as women are forgetting where to draw the line, I also used to think that being submissive to your hubby is so outdated, but recently some magic in the name of love happened in my life that led me to believe your article would love to share this magic with you guys and would love to tell the ladies that being submissive is not being deprived of your own rights but u are admitting to the universal fact that a man is there to protect the women, you look upon a father when you are a child then why cannot u look upon a hubby when you are an adult, trust me ladies out there who think that women are far more independent emotionally and physically but the real fact I believe is that how ever powerful the women is either emotionally or physically but when a loving hubby hugs you, you feel very secured and completed, I believe humans cant change something that is universal so why put up false egos and ‘play chess with’ a joke
Please correct me if I am wrong.
regards, Sana

No corrections here. You score 100%
A house divided against itself cannot stand. Two people cannot rule the same household. God has made Man and Woman different, and each brings their own strengths to the table.
As a divorced dad, with 3 little sons, I have learned that I am a good dad, but as dads go, I am a bad mother
Marriage was never intended to be a power struggle, men are not the enemy. But here, that’s how it is. Women are constantly resentful and angry towards men here.
I think you must have had some sort of traditional grounding, and saw it work with your parents, maybe. Because of this, you did not blindly accept the hostile, materialistic view, but made your own decision, and have found happiness that way.
I am glad for you.
In the bible, God says, ” I take no joy in condemning a man” Well, American men are not gleeful their women are as they are. But you just look for solutions. We find love elsewhere, where we are loved, appreciated, valued.
Funny, American women do not seem to learn wisdom even with age. Check out the profiles of older ones, and they still want Johnny Stud, tall, rich, handsome, hung, and preferably, recently released from prison.
They do not seem to have realized the pointlessness of materialism, the value of character. The courage of real convictions, the strength required for fidelity, the gratification of children. Here they are, 50 something, with the house, car, the precious career, now they need a pretty boy to add to their charm bracelet, and complete it. Yet they still cant see past junior high thinking, and still value others based on looks, money, etc.
What a sorry bunch.

I know a lot of girls here in the US are like this :/ Its really sad. Thats why I am marrying a foreign man from Tajikistan :). We love each other very much and wish to just get away from all the rumor making, fools here. Not ALL American girls are bad though! Not all…

First of all just because YOU are an “American Guy” does NOT make you an authority on women from America. You mostly like struck out with American ladies because of the judgmental and knowitall attitude that you have demonstrated here. Like you say America a huge country so more than likely your assumptions are way off. Sure there are girls who watch reality tv and are fake and rude. But a lot of us are very nice and dont care about money. I think there should be a blog on American Men and how badly they treat women. I just watched a special documentary about the abuse these so called Eastern European princesses you speak of. Ever heard of Anastasia King? Yeah she dreamed of a beter life out of Russia and her Ugly American Husband and his best friend murdered her. These mail order brides you speak so highly of are so naive they do not often think about the risks of moving to the US with someone they know little about. And your situation is very rare. Most men will NOT move to Europe for a mail order wife. They want them here and the bride wants to be out of here country. There are no laws regulating this growing industry. No background checks or anything. Maybe if there were, then they wouldve found out that Anastasia King’s American Husband had a criminal record and it might have saved her life. These girls are so desperate to get out of ther country they will marry ugly, corpulent or socially akward Americans and sadly much of these marriages DO NOT last and end up in some form of abuse. Here is the link to the story.

Glad the whole finding a mail order wife worked for you but it does not work out for everyone. In fact I have heard many stories of men who get rejected by these women you speak so highly of. You are biased because you found one that truly loves you and doesnt have other motives. Its sad that you are on here giving false hope for the same thing to many deperate American men. You sound like you work for one these dating site maybe.

Your comment is a rant. I permitted it of course because you do not swear or attack people (thank you), but it really is a rant based on opinion not fact. And you are right that America is a large country and you can not make a generalization. I love America and Americans including the women. However, culturally they are not the only game in town. There is no way an American guy needs to limit himself to the girl next door.

Be open minded. If your love comes from the other side of the world, so what? I know many and I mean many girls who have married guys in Europe and around the world. I know many American girls dating guys from other countries who live in America.

What is the big deal?

The sensational media which feeds on people fear (remember the rice crisis) will always paint the worst picture to get gullible minds in a frenzy. But objectivity is the essence of intelligence.

My grandparents came from Ukraine and Poland for example. I have relatives in the USA and Ukraine and Poland. When I was on a trip to Poland and moved and was living in Poland I met my wife to be. What is wrong with that? I still live here as I have passports. It would be like you meeting a guy from another state, a state where you have family in. Is your world so small that you would not consider that?

I am an American and EU citizen. I have lived in both countries for a reasonable time in my life and traveled to countless and I mean countless other countries. I run no dating site and have no ties to any. But I think I know what I am talking about when I say, the world does not end with American culture. You do not fall off the edge of a flat earth if you consider a bride from abroad.

Even famous people do this. For example, does not Dicaprio date a girl from Israel, Jim Carey date a girl from India, Pitt date a girl with a French connection, Jonny Depp, live and married to a French girl, Evangeline Lilly date a guy from Germany etc?

Where is your openness and sense of adventure?

I would highly recommend that guys (and girls) from America be open minded and know the world is a large place and you do not have to marry the girl or guy next door.

Collin Farrell dating Alicja Bachleda from Poland, Macaulay Culkin dating a Ukrainian girl, Milan Kunis, Milla Jovovich another Ukrainian married to an American guy as is Alexandra Kosteniuk, Natalie Portman is a Russian/Israeli etc. In fact this is the way the world works. Dating people from other cultures makes it interesting. You can marry from some meat guy that sits and watches sports all day, but I married someone from another culture and my world is richer for it. I recommend other people keep their minds open too.
Come on if you meet some good looking Italian painter in Paris that was crazy about you, are you telling me you would not consider him because he is European?

George Clooney is dating Italian Elisabetta Canalis, basically love does not care too much about abstract political boundaries, unless you are not open to the possibility.

Look at what you wrote, take a 2nd look at what you wrote, and notice one thing, all your anger is based upon A “special” documentary, how about your real life experiences? this is the only real truth in your life.

Don’t you know one thing about t.v. that they specifically sensationalize this and make it negative on purpose just to get your views, and increase ratings. the media, popular media in general including CNN and FOX have no obligation legally to provide factual information. for the corporate world perjury is not a crime unless its about an actors/actresses or person’s real life.

I will say the fact that your hatred comes SOLELY from the media, raises a lot of eyebrows from me. here’s the truth though, for every lazy beer drinking guy they show on t.v. who only thinks about about base things.

There are thousands of hard working guys who are part of the 101st airborne division, who wake up at 4 in the morning and work until midnight, just to provide men and women safety.

For every one guy they show on t.v. making a fart joke and eating potato chips on the Jimmy Kimmel show or others.,
there are thousands of Muhammad Ali type figures who work hard at their construction job, train hard in sports, and do what they can to provide for their family.

However, the truth is that these “real special” guys fly under the radar on t.v. and rarely make it to pop culture t.v. shows, because of t.v. agenda.

But the simple truth is this, if you look and think about negativity, that’s what you get, if you look for positivity that’s what you get.

If you hate abusive guys so much, then why the heck in America is that what women go for. I have seen all these b.s. music videos of “miss independent” but fact is that is not true. its a man’s world and most women prefer it that way.

A lot of guys curse their dads for abusing their mother. But its ironic to me that a lot of these guys don’t have women, but their abusive dad does.

And don’t get angry at the person who created this post. he does so out of wisdom and knowledge. If I saw him write like the stereotypical media American guy does I would not bother being on this site.

But being humble is always the road to happiness, never forget that, and always be real about yourself.

I married a foreign lady, from Asia, in 1999, when things were more primitive. We met by mail, and corresponded by mail for a year before marrying.
its pure BS that there are no laws regulating it. Although I am an American citizen, gays have more rights to marry than I do, if I choose a foreign wife. It cost me tens of thousands and almost a year before I satisfied the laws of two countries and could bring my bride here.
My bride was 20 years younger than me, spoke multiple languages and dialects, had a college degree, very beautiful, and purity. Try finding a pure one over 18. Try finding a woman with her qualities here who would marry an ordinary man. Even the corpulent and nasty ones here think they deserve Superman, and would be doing Superman a favor by marrying him.
Your materialistic thinking was blatantly obvious when you accused the poster of striking out with American girls. Winning with American girls is a losing proposition. You have no real defense, so you must imply the poster is a “loser” Pathetic.

Actually, there are laws controlling that exact thing you brought up, criminal records. The dating sites need to comply now.
Everything you wrote betrays your ignorance and reeks of hate. It shows you as exactly what the men here want to escape from. Fat? Ugly? Socially awkward? These are crimes?
They are to you, because you value others in the shallowest way. A man to you is only a valued human being if he is cordial. That’s a pretty sick philosophy.
It also reveals that you judge yourself by the same scale, thinking you measure up pretty well, eh? Wow! I value myself for far more important reasons than whats in the mirror! You will be so unhappy when you are a lonely old hag, screaming that love should mean more than looks. Uh-huh.
Vicious American women always miss the point. If its so bad here, and the men are such rats, why do they seek Americans?
Because in their own country, that crap you talk about does not happen every decade or two, its a daily occurrence. In Russia, the women outnumber the men significantly, and alcoholism among the men is epidemic. In the Philippines, the men have no fidelity. In China, the one child rule gets millions and millions of little girls aborted. The women who stand against that get divorced. Then must struggle to raise a child on her own, and since she has a child already, no one wants her.
In the islamist countries, women are cattle, and are routinely abused in the most horrific ways imaginable.
But you think you are standing up for women by ripping a few guys just looking for love. Oh yeah, brave.
Go to Iraq, Iran,Egypt, Saudi Arabia, see if they let you live ten minutes. Go to China and rip the government for what a lousy deal women get in their country. You will never be seen again.
Hell, just try coming out of your coma of stupidity into reality for a change. Your hate for men doesn’t make your grotesquely stupid opinions true. Got that? Or should I use simple words and speak slowly?

There is a blog on American men Joy, its called the American Media.
For crying out loud, the media actually said that the Boston Bombers need to be white American males to justify their hatred and persecution of us! If we are not responsible for every evil, their whole world collapses! They have no one to hate and to blame.
And you put your foot, or rather your mouth, right into the horse manure by calling us “losers” You are simply verifying every word said here about women like you. You look upon American men with contempt, based on purely material, empty values, but call us losers?
Good luck in middle age, when you gain weight, lose your looks, and discover men don’t like girls with poison fangs.

Amy touched all the bases in her rant. Just because I am an Americn male, I dont know enough to generalize about the American male experience? Who is better qualified?
Oh, we are all “losers” who cannot get a “real” wife.
This is liberated woman? A woman who treats men and even women of other countries with contempt? Is that what feminism is all about? Not freedom?
When an American woman says “loser” it means looks and money. Better in her value system means better looking. A pretty sad, empty value system. Women like that end up old, corpulent and bitter, and alone.
None of the propaganda she was spewing is true. American men seek foreign wives because they are romantic and idealistic, and still believe in love, which they cannot find here. So, rather than give up on their dream, they get a foreign wife, who still has ideals, and a conscience.

But the other way around – about American men. Fat, uneducated, boring, insecure! Nothing compares to an intelligent, suave European man. Nothing! And it is so natural for them! They are naturally raised like that! Oh, particularly the Germans! I am living in Europe now, and have lived here for a few years, and I am so glad I haven’t even had to have and type of relation to American men. hehe.

I think a lot of the problem in America is that we have so many single mothers raising sons. A boy needs a positive male role model in his life. A good father is suppose to teach his son how to be a real man. Lots of these boys grow up hearing anti male propaganda, and become ashamed of being a male. This can make approaching a woman very hard because they don’t want to be seen as some sort of friendshipual freak.

These boys grow up into weak men, who are too afraid to stand up for themselves in a relationship. The women these men date start to walk all over this man and eventually will lose all respect for a man that refuses to stand up for himself.

The daughters of single moms are also often exposed to hearing the friendshipist propaganda against men causing them to always have a chip on their shoulder against men. If they met a man who does stand up for himself and demands he should be treated like an equal and leaves her. The woman will say to herself that “Men just can’t handle a strong educated independent woman.”

I understand that often a woman has a good reason to be a single mom, and I am not judging them for that. What I am saying is that single mothers need to actively censor the anti male nonsense that many children grow up hearing.

This is a complex topic. I do not know how US culture will all end up. I just know that from my experience both as a son and a father, children need both parents as role models and for emotional support, if not they go through the next 20 years of their life at an emotional disadvantage.

I feel bad for guys that are culturally programmed by American materialistic society, and not to know how to be a real champion and prince for a girl. This includes learning to be strong and weathering the storms that women throw at you but also how to charm and thrill a girl so she drops all her extreme American materialistic ideas and falls in love with her prince.

Children need both parents to bring balance to a child’s life and complex maturity not to be one way or the other. That is not be a materialistic nor a chauvinist, but rather a prince and princess that has the ability to fall in love and get married and stay together.
If both parents are not spending a lot of quality patient one on one time with kids they will get cues from society and this is rarely good, especially for a guy these days who needs to learn to be a knight who can do battle and win a girl’s heart.

Russell, that old claptrap about men cant handle strong, smart woman is code for “angry lesbian” and no, men don’t want anything to do with them.
I love smart, strong women, because I want to marry my equal. One of the biggest, but untold reasons for divorce is intellectual inequality. Know what else is way up there? Weight gain. Can you say, mooo?
Another fact that is not generally known because it does not support the materialistic agenda. Kids, especially boys, are showing higher and higher incidences of problems such as ADD, Autism, ADHD, etc, due to women delaying childbirth until they have their “career” then selfishly having kids late in life, you know, to acquire another charm on the bracelet, collect the whole set.
I am not sure what affects them. I know our culture is a whole different world than it was when I was a child. Back then, children were precious, now they are preyed on.
Even though I am divorced, I have my 3 boys all week, and they only see their mom on weekends. When she had them, I paid child support as regularly as the tides. I am a strong dad, and they are coming up OK.
What you brought up is a good point, and brings something to mind.
American feminazi’s never concede that men have certain natural superiority over women, stating its nurture, not nature. Ok. but when they talk about women’s strengths and superior qualities, its a sign of their natural superiority.
Well, we live in a culture that thinks it can dispense with men. Many children, not just boys, are raised without fathers now. So, its the women who are, and always have been, responsible for nurture.
So, if its nurture, not nature, all these terrible men they hate so much are being raised that way, By the way their mothers.

Even though I’m an American girl, I agree with most of this. I do have a problem with one thing, however. I am absolutely devoted to my husband, I would do anything for him, I love to cook for him and take care of him. But “starting a family” isn’t for everyone. Due to health problems from my teenage years (and health problems I wouldn’t want to pass on to a child), I can not have kids. We could go the way of adoption, but my husband is so much older than me (nearing 60), and the last thing he wants to do is chase kids around at his age. Even though he’s Russian and family is very important to him (and to me), he and I both realize that kids are not for us. We’re both completely okay with that. This decision isn’t because I’m a materialistic, or American, or programmed, or want to put my career in front of a child. It’s because these are the cards I’ve been dealt, and I’m going to make the best of it. I realize you’re talking to men and advising them against dating American women (which I don’t completely agree with–there are those of us that are good and don’t need the man to “think hard” before committing to life with us), but some of us just can’t have families, and it’s not due to materialistic reasons.

Abbey do not worry, if you can not have kids for the reasons you explained you are not obligated to in any way shape or form of course. If you have health concerns, the ideas of children does not apply. I do know couples who choose not to have children for whatever reason and they are happy in love and marriage and it has nothing to do with anything. We are all different. Each of our relationships will means something different, and children are a serious responsibility. You never know what the future holds. Despite of what I write, there are no ‘shoulds’ in life.

Its Ok Abbey.
Your hubby knows this, loves you and chose you and stood by you. Its too bad you cannot, because you would do a better job as a mom then the ladies who have kids due to hormonal drives, then put them in day care for 18 years.
A spouse, marriage, kids, family, are not just commodities to be acquired.

I do not believe this, at all. I had the same feeling about american men. I thought they were all selfish idealistic pigs looking for a lay. So, I decided to marry a Russian man. I was 22 when we married and I get mistaken all the time for looking Russian myself. Family was my heart and main goal and I put it before everything. He started going out partying and He would hang out with other russian guys in our area and all Russian guys have Russian girl friends that are strippers.

Please explain to me what makes these “family oriented” Russian strippers a better choice than a beautiful really lovely american girl I don’t understand. Bottom line is that you have put stereo types on all of us and people are not so easily put into test tubes and divided up. You can find a girl who as you call it “behaves european” right here in america, and sometimes you can go to Europe and fling girls who behave very “american” come on guys use your brains or better yet, use your hearts.

Russian girls and American girls – why choose just one or the other, consider both.

Despite what you wrote I think American guys should seriously consider the whole world when it comes to dating.

I am in agreement with some of what you write, that one culture does not have a monopoly on virtue and goodness.
However, I do think a lot of American girls are a little bit rough around the edges, but it is not their fault. Also many American girls have given up on the dream of a normal life and a family partially because of us guys.

That is many American guys are players and swing from girlfriend to girlfriend. Players hurt people. Each time a guy does this, it hurts a girl and destroys her ideals a little. Eventually men and women lose belief in true love and a normal marriage and life.

So the solution is this. Take the attitude that the whole world can behave like this, but I choose not to. I choose to hold onto my ideals and judge each person for their character not their country of origin, including the USA or Russia.

However, that being said, I recommend almost universally that there is no reason that people have to marry the girl or guy next door or an American girl. Nor an American girl has to marry an American guy. Why not travel the world and see the world from a different perspective and then you will have a better feel for what is congruent to your ideas and ideals.

I think Russia has many wonderful people. I live in Poland and I know there is very little ‘playing and swinging’ going on. Most people day one or two people and get married for life. They do not cheat.

But times are changing and you find good and bad in every society. So there is no universal rule.

My message is be open to the possibility that your other half is on the other side of the world.

I think many guys are bitter about American girls as they have had such negative experiences since feminism has programmed a generation of girls to be jaded towards family and being a wife.

So if you have found that the case, do not make a big deal about it or get negative, do what I did, take the first plane to some far off exotic place and see if it is more to your liking.

Live your dream.

I am sorry you see the darker side of Russian culture. It is not a universal. My Russian friends would never behaves like that.

On the other hand Russia is a culture all to itself. You have to understand that they pride themselves as being have European and have barbarian as my friends have said.

So in conclusion, there are many nice American girls, but in my experience and many other people’s, they are harder to find and might not be worth the search effort. In contrast when you step off the plane in other countries the girls find you.

“Russian girls and American girls – why choose just one or the other, consider both.”

Why choose one or the other? Because there are too many problems with American girls. When asked, they claim that they want a good, kind man but when a man like that walks up to them, that same woman won’t give him any time of day. She would go for the bad guys instead, that makes these girls liars and hypocrites. Approaching American girls is about as much fun as trying to become friends with a cornered porcupine. No thanks, I’m smarter than that. American girls play too many immature head games.

“However, I do think a lot of American girls are a little bit rough around the edges, but it is not their fault.”

A little? Mark, you are funny. Although, the way they are may not be completely their fault, it doesn’t make it any easier for those of us guys that are trying to be genuine. It makes it impossible. So what is the point of trying any more? I find my past experiences, talking to foreign girls is so much easier, smoother, and without any hangups.

I am living proof that just signing up on or meeting girls in a club in the USA is not the optimal dating strategy. I mean there are some nice American girls, however, I am very happily married to not the girl next door but someone from the other side of the world.

Even today I was commenting with my expat American friend that I see normal looking American tourists guys come through town with some plus sized tattooed American wife who is walking in front of him. Chills run up out spine, thinking that guy could have been me.
Further, man of these guys are restraining themselves to not look at some leggy Slavic beauty as she walks by giving him the eye.
America does have good women, just much harder to find, by a factor of ten. I think it has to do with the values portrayed in the media and the lies they have been raised with.

In contrast women in the rest of the world are more balanced and do not have an axe to grid with men. They are not trying to prove anything, but rather looking for a husband they can marry, have a family with and a normal life. I want a woman who will always put me before anything else. II do the same of course. I think many American women see men as a component of their lives.
Boyfriend, studies, career, girlfriends,parents, shopping, girls night, money, her cats etc are all almost on equal par. Eventually when you have a child, the stress of everything breaks.
In a marriage to a foreign girl, the girl knows she takes care of her family first and that is all that matters. I as a man think the same. I only make money to provide for my family. Not to try to juggle anything.
My wife makes my life peace and joy and she is proud of that. I do not know too many American girls that can say the same. That is they dream of being a good wife and good cook and mother and nothing else really matters in life.

I may not be the richest man in the world, but boy I got lucky finding my dream princess from the other side of the world.

I again will reiterate, I highly recommend guys, and girls for that matter consider dating people from not just their same social class, political economic status, race or country. You can marry and fall in love with someone from a totally different part of the world and they will give you happiness you could never find at home. It will change your life.

Foreign girls like talking to you. They are polite do not give off weird vibes and mixed signal in the same way I have personally gotten from American girls.

The amount of time and money you have spend on American girls, could have been spent on one cheap air plane ticket to a forgeign country and you would have a beautiful bride by now.

Its not stated a lot, but this is a huge problem with American girls.
You can talk about love all you want, but love cannot make a man feel desire for a corpulent, bitter, angry woman. Bad enough they waddle around looking like cows, but throw in the bitter, angry attitude, and there is no hope of intimacy.
I think many women adopt feminism as a defense, so they can pretend their loneliness is due to chauvinist men, when its really due to the fact they are twice the normal adult weight.
A man needs a certain level of stimulation, and is not going to get it from a woman who looks like she should be chewing her cud in a field somewhere.
Making love to most American women is like schtupping a queen size mattress.
Even if foreign girls were every bit as angry, bitter, selfish and antagonistic as Americans, at least they look like women and are physically delightful.

I think some of you are being just a little too harsh. Not all of us American women are self centered, pompous, well…another name for a female dog.
Not all women in the United States have careers for ego. Some do it so they have something to do while theyre kids are at school. Some do it to have extra money so they can provide extra for their kids. Some do it to help others. Like, I want to be a surgeon. I’m doing this to help others and so i can provide better for my future kids.
Now, yes, sometimes I only think about myself, but afterwards I do feel guilty. But I love my family. I would do anything for my family. I can be rude, but I try not to be. I dont live to serve anyone. I believe a woman can have a career and be a mother. My own mom did it, and I’m turning out pretty well.
Yes, some women all they want is to date you, have friendship, and kick you away like her old high heels.
Now, some of you complain about the south. The south is amazing. I’m in Virginia, and I’m a pretty decent southern girl. I have family in Virginia, West Virginia, and Tennessee. There’s nothing wrong with a southern woman. We can have a certain southern charm. But if you irritate some of us…well, that can be a big mistake.
Now, I still have a few years to go until I’m an adult, but i think I’m going to be a decent woman. I’m studying Spanish and i studied French. I’m in honors classes, and I’m acing them. I played the piano. I also read and write a lot. I love to read books. I find them interesting. I also love history and I can sit there reading a history book all day. I also dont mind running, when i’m in the mood to do so. I alos dont mind playing soccer, baseball, etc. So not all women in America are corpulent, obnoxious, self centered, pompous jerks(yes, I know it’s used mainly for guys, but i cant find another word to describe what i’m trying to say). Sometimes, American women can . This is why I try to make more guy friends than girls, because girls can be so irritating. So yes, most girls are horrible, but there are us rare ones that can be career women and family women.

Brittany, just realizes that many of us American guys are slightly jaded from experiences with American girls. I wish you could see it from another perspective.

We grow up thinking women are kind, loving, loyal and vessels who transmit culture, language and religion from one generation to the next. Then you start dating in American meet many material girls who are about ego gratification and have a low-level of intellectual and spiritual development beyond their résumé or the score of boyfriends they have had.

It is not that we have any bad feelings towards girls, just the contrary, we think they are the finer gender. However, in American culture there is a high premium on masculine behavior for some reason.

Then you travel to other countries and you meet girls who do not care about money and base their life on love and compassion. They develop things like musical talents and language skills, they go to church and have humble sincere faith and pride themselves on being able to cook for their husband. They do not want to be into serial dating with many boyfriends but find their one and only prince. And maintaining a balance of weight is not a big deal.

I want someone to talk about ancient Greek philosphy and have ketchup fights with and believe in me that I am their hero their one and only. Most and I mean most girls where I live never really have a boyfriend until they meet their husbands. What is so wrong with that? I want ketchup fights and a fairy-tale princess. Why must I settle?

They are women in the sense that they spend their energy focused on higher things in life, like culture and developing themselves as compassionate beings. Rather than focusing on money and career.

Again why do women think the summum bonum of life is career and being independent from a man?

The contrast is so stark that 100% of the men that I know that live as expats as I do would never consider an American girl again. Not that there is anything wrong with American girls and some are nice, but for dating they for some reason lose total interest.

I have lives a good part of my adult life in Europe and travelled around the world. I also am an American. I can see the differences in cultures around the world. There is nothing wrong with American girls if you like that. But if man, you do not have to marry the girl next door because of proximity or you are too lazy to consider the other 3 billion women in the world.

It seems there are many nice girls in the USA that would prove me wrong. However, the problem is they are so few and far between it is impossible for the average guy to ever really connect with them.

However, maybe girls might say the same thing about American guys, but generally foreign women dream of American guys.

I understand why some men may be turned off by some American women. But, just as an example, you date two women, and they both ignore you and go out partying, that doesnt mean you can base the entire American female population off of that.
Oh, and what about these nice American girls who are out there, but they get snatched up by who they think is their Prince Charming, when in reality, he is a rude, abusive, pompous jerk. There are probably a bunch of us nice American women, but some cant get away from their abusive man. Some nice women get taken by y guys. Just saying.
Now, I as a person, yes, I do like to have a nice cushion of money so I’m not living in poverty. But when i get older, if I had to give that up to, for example, save my child, then I would do it in a heartbeat. I want to have a decent paying job when i get older so i can give my kids better than what i had. i want them to have a nice house, a stable environment, and an excellent education. Is it wrong that I want that even though I need money for it? My interest in money is for my future children, not for my ego.
Now, I can cook, but I dont want to just cook for my husband and he expect me to do it. I want to do it because i love him and when he comes home he’s suprised by it. But I also want a man who when i come home from a long day, has dinner ready.
I’ve grown up independent, and I learned at an early age how to cook. Now, my grandmother thought I should be a polite, religious young lady. That didnt fit my personality. She was ashamed to be seen with me, but I didnt care. If that makes me a horrible person, then I apologize for my personality. But what I want to be when I grow up is a mother, wife, and surgeon. The job I want to do helps others. That’s nothing to frown upon. I dont want to be some high paid CEO of something. I want to help people live. If that makes me a bad woman, then so be it.
But not all American women are horrible. Now, some southern women are the best. How do i know? My family is full of southern women. Now, do I think most women from places like New York, California, Florida, and places like that can be rude? Yes, I do. But the ones of us that have grown up in small towns arent bad. I wish some of you all would see that.

Those southern belle’s are nice, Oh yes. Texas to NC. I went to school at Wake Forest, in NC and the women have a different approach to life than Boston women.

Brittany you make great points:
1) Men can be jerks – My reply is course we can, as God makes us equal and although manifest in different ways our problems are the same, that is to over come our anger and forgive and become loving compassionate people.
2) Nice girls get taken for a ride by guys. – 100% agree and I tell guys not to smile at girls unless you are serious. In fact, in the ideal it would be to wait, because if you break up with her before marriage you are basically sleeping with another man’s future wife. _ My only reply is women should not give up you know what so easy.
3) I believe you can cook – I think the whole idea of cooking is a dividing point in US culture. Women say ‘they do not cook’ to prove they are strong women and independent. However, lets be honest, when they have a small innocent baby that is crying for mommy for food, who is the one that will have to help that child. The man can, but the woman’s brain is wired to feed and help that baby. A woman’s brain will light up like a Christmas tree when that baby cries. So all this silly comments by women who try to prove they are strong by saying cooking is submissive is a moot point because cooking as well as other roles are wired in the woman’s brain when she has a small baby. It is evolution. I believe in science and evolution. A women who does not want to take care of her child is not only heartless but sick.
4) I believe you will give your kids a stable environment.
5) excellent education is the biggest excuse for parents to defer responsiblity to someone else. IQ is determined by genetics, the woman’s diet during pregnancy and the first eight years of life. This is when a child is formed. A stable environment at home with stimulation is the most important. Education will only mess you up in many cases. I would rather teach my child chess and languages before eight years old than send her to Harvard at 40,000 dollars a year.
Education is a big business in the USA and good to have but 100 times more important is a stable environment and love from parents as well as mental stimulation before the age of eight.

And to echo Katya’s point, it is not that American women are bad, they can make great CEO’s as well as middle level managers and workers. It has been argued women make better managers, are more detailed oriented, basically more repsonisble.

I believe in women in business. In fact when I ran an accounting department, at one point I had ten women working for me and only me. However, the question is should they be applying that talent and it is natural skills of intuitions and empathy as well as IQ (my wife is o smart her nickname I call her is IQ). That is for their own personal happiness? I think American girls feel uncomfortable with pride-ing themselves in being a good wives and mothers, which one million years of evolution as deeply placed in their brain.
When they fight this, it causes unhappiness for them and society.

In the end I agree with you. It is not just but men in the USA. If I walk in your shoes than I would not want to be a girl in the USA where men just try to be cool and have fun with my body while smiling at me, only to leave me and hurt me.
I guess the solution for both genders is find partners that have the same ideals,

For me the best girl to marry is a super cordial lady with ideals and lives those ideal. I am sorry this sounds superficial but this is what I did and she is my princess and soul mate.

I think attraction is important but ideals and the persons soul even more. But it is so much fun that I married a slim, leggy long aired beauty. I can not help it, however, talk about ideals and values she helps me be a better person.

US society places focus on things like career and money over soul often. And yes I am American.

Admin, exactly. I have been one of those girls who has thought I’ve found a decent guy-us both being from the South- when in reality he just used me. Dont take that as he had friendship with me. It’s just that I was used as a cover up.
Also, cooking isnt a sign of weakness or being just another women. Being able to cook is a good thing. What about when you’re living on your own? What? Are you just gonna buy fast food all the time and balloon up? Yes, not all people get corpulent with fast food if they have a high enough metabolism, but some people dont.
Now, with the education. I know it’s important to teach kids things. That’s why I tried helping to teach my cousins important things; Two are four, the one is seven. Also, my mother when I was still in say, first grade, taught me cursive and multiplication. She also bought me these little Spanish books that taught you Spanish. She also showed me her old French notes. Maybe that’s partly what led to my success in school, not to sound like I’m bragging. But for my kids though, when they go off to college, I want them to go to the best colleges. Also, i at the same time want them to do what they want to do. If that means them settling down at eighteen and having kids, then okay, i’ll support them. But if they demand they want to go to a fancy private school, then I’ll support them. I want them to do what they want, as long as it wont hurt them physically or emotionally.
Also, I think women can be happy family wise and job wise, like i’ve said before.
Oh, and god. I’ve had guys fricking stare at me, even a fricking like forty year old guy. They only want friendship, and I dont want that. I want a relationship, not friendship, well, not yet.
In America, I think some guys have had it drilled in their minds to be players, or to order their women around and abuse them like theyre dogs. Some are decent, but some are just complete scum.
Also, I dont think all American women have been told, ‘You need a career. You need to feel proud and powerful.’ I’ve decided I want a career, like I’ve said, not for ego, or money for myself.
Again, there are decent American women. I’m one, and so is most of the women in my family, along with a bunch of others I know. Maybe it’s because we’re from the south? But some men just need to come to the South maybe. Yes, sometimes the way we talk sounds absolutely atrocious, but we can be very friendly women. So, maybe some men could try foreign, some the south. Haha.

I have a much better understanding of where you are coming from. I think you are young and idealistic and you live in a world of men that want something from you.
Further, you have a high level of intellectual curiosity and you want to apply your brain at this juncture in your life to something that is productive, such as the work place. I understand this.
As for guys, well,Yes it is true, all men are pigs. Even me I am a pig. However, try not to look at it that way. Men love and are attracted to women. It is our nature. The question is this, can you find, or at least teach a man who channels his libidinal into higher dreams and ideals. This guy will respect in all your aspects as a woman.
Do you know Maslow hierarchy of needs? I mean in this way. Not just understand in from a base attraction level but all your dimensions as well as your dark side and insecurities.
I have noticed that women who wait and do not give guys milk for free so to speak generally have an easier time finding their man.
I can tell you that being married to your soul mate is a gazillion times better than being single. You have a real partner in life to share things with and travel and develop with.
I am a big fan of Maslow and Erikson in terms of understanding people and relationships. That is the true fit is the person who completes you on a multi dimensional level and you supports you with a fundamental humanistic trust in life.

I don’t think we are being too harsh at all. We are being honest based off of a combination of our own experiences with western women, stories told by other men (and some women), statistics, research, cultural dysfunction, trends, divorce culture, etc.

I am open to where ever the evidence takes me, and I have concluded that most American women are not humble enough for marriage. Brittany, I think you are one of them. In your post you speak of having a career and being a mother, but what about being a wife? You failed to mention that. Are you planning on becoming another single mother?

It looks to me that you have no plans on having a man or husband in your life that you want to treat well the same way he wants to treat you. If you turned out so well as you claim, then why aren’t you mentioning a desire to be a wife?

Hi Brittany, I do not know the USA like you do. I think in other parts of the world we tend to idealize the USA, mostly we learn about the USA from American movies and TV shows. We think this is the reality that every American woman is smart, clever and beautiful oh and slim.

However, I think the reality is different. And what is being conveyed is not that American women are horrible. Rather for dating, American women are not the choice that would lead to happiness for the American male. They might good women, just not wife material.

Katya, I believe some people tend to think America’s more horrible than it is. I also believe some others believe we’re better than we are. We’re average, just like lots of other developed countries. We all have our pros and cons. American men and women are the same way. American women can also sometimes me agressive, but not always. We can also be open minded. Lots of us are also very smart. For instance, I’ve grown up in a small hick town. People that grow up in highly populated towns around me, think that I’m supposed to be a stupid redneck who knows nothing about the world, and sometimes I know more than they do! Also, not all of us have these perfect bodies. We’re not all super slim, but not all of us are corpulent slobs. I know I’m not super slim, but I’m more of average. So I think people when they see these American movies with these perfect actors and actresses should look up actual average working Americans. We’re not perfect, but we try so hard to be. That’s where all our flaws lie. Because we try to be perfect.

I would just like to say that men are not ‘pigs’. This is accepted as absolute truth in society and I am sick of it. Shall we say all women are ‘es’? Doesn’t feel good does it…

The truth is that men were given an enormous friendship drive at birth, by God. It comes installed on the hard drive ‘right out of the box’. If you can imagine caveman days – this urge served the human race very well when other human beings (women) were scarce and where people generally did not live long.

Evolution takes millions of years to change and that same DNA is still installed on every male at birth. The DNA does not recognize that it is in a ‘modern society’ where certain things are inappropriate.

Men can be monogamous and make great life partners – there are too many examples of this to be disputed. They don’t have to be players. However, gain some understanding of biology and cut men some slack! We have 20 times the testosterone as women on average and that means 20 times the friendship drive. It is constant, unrelenting and distracting.

Women are installed with the mother gene at birth and they are assigned virtuous qualities just by doing what God or Mother nature has urged them to do – have children. Women are glorified and encouraged for following their nature – men are demonized and persecuted.

Finally, women truly have many gifts and virtues, however there is one Achilles heel, one form of kryptonite they fall victim to with astounding regularity. They have terrible choice in men. They fall for a-holes, abusers and jerks and then go on talk shows and talk all day to their fellow women-folk about how bad men are… what pigs they are!

Ok women, you have achieved ’empowerment’ – you have arrived. Now that you are here, I suggest you gain some actual spiritual qualities and start thinking original thoughts for yourself and recognize that this is a world of opposites – up/down, left/right, yes/no, on/off, yin/yang…man/woman. Embrace and accept your opposite other. Gain some depth within yourself.

Drew you are correct and I was wrong. I was being a little dramatic when I said all men are pigs. I wrote this to make women aware that unless women go for men that have some ideals about love and women, then their lives will often be an existence with serial daters or players. There are many men out there that want a real fairy-tale. I have one and would not ever trade it for being single.

Further, I know scores of girls who have been in long-term relationships with guys and living with them for years and it never really leads to marriage. This is because the milk is for free and flows too easy in Western culture. It is a dynamic that has made it difficult to find true love, along with a lowering of ideals in relationships.

Men will rise to the occasion if women put it out there that life and love are something from the Divine.

Okay, yes, guys do have bigger friendship drives than women, but at some point doesnt the thought run through your mind that something might be inappropriate at the wrong moment? I mean, I think some disgusting thoughts too, but seriously. There’s a time and place. Doesnt the thought occur that something might be wrong right at that moment? I get that guys have a bigger friendship drive, but seriously. Time and place for everything.

I like to think men and women are equal in all respects. Even with friendship drives. Please do not be offended by what I write, I just want to be honest and am arguing a point. Women’s desire for romance is no less than a man’s drive for intimacy, no matter that we call it, the result is the same.

Shakespeare wrote ‘A rose by any other name would smell as sweet’ – Romeo and Juliet (my favorite Shakespeare play).

Romance and love and intimacy as expressions of the same drive channeled differently

I do not like the idea that men have bigger drives than women and all the jokes about it as they do not exlpore the issue deep enough. That is men and women have the same drives but the language of expression and the timing is different.

Girls are not that innocent as they play
Why? For every guy that has a “roll in the hay”, there is a girl. It is always 50-50, how can it not be? Unless it was something forced which we are not talking about.

Every time there is a man cheating, he is cheating with someone.

I have traveled all over this world and as much as women put on a front of ‘oh I am so innocent’ and we only do it because the man wants it, I laugh. Women are the best sales people in the world. What are they doing, just staring at the ceiling and thinking of England? I think not.

Women do just as many things as guys. In fact it is not a big deal for a woman to do many things I am embarrassed to even think of. For men, love and romance is often an aspect of their lives, second to work or the Internet. Women could do without the Internet but not without social connections or relationships etc. You might say this is different from a friendship drive but it is the same manifest in a different language.

Same idea but different language of expression between the genders.

Every time one of my friends meets a girl in a club and they go to her flat and as she it pulling out a stack of ‘protection’ and I mean fumbling though a whole stack from a multi colored box in her night stand, she is simultaneously saying “I never do this type of thing”.

Every time a woman goes away on a weekend trip with her partner to some quaint little country inn excursion, and comes back and tells her friends ‘oh it was so charming at the inn, it rained all weekend but we read books by the fire or went shopping at the country store’, I know what really went one.

I am still waiting for men’s Victoria secrets to be as popular as it is for women.

Somehow the numbers of encounters do not add up between the genders in dating
So it amazes me every time a guy talks about how many times he has rolled in the hay and women talk there is a difference in numbers.
I think it is basically equal. However, men have the added feature in this drive that they must be the hunter or the seeker of it. So they are wired to find a partner, while the woman waits for one.

Guys might be more visual and go for it, but girls many all they do is obsesses about their looks and make themselves beautiful and read romances and talk about relationships. The read books on psychology to Jane Austen. Their minds are no less wired for friendship than men. They just manifest this libidinous energy in a different way as nature has made their role different.

How dating and drives are different between men and women
Also women have a cycle that naturally stimulates their hormones up and down and there are times when they want it or not and other times they ‘need’ it. Men, if they do not have it eventually because of the feedback mechanism of nature, that is you get more of what you reinforce, their drive will fade if they do not use it. Women have a cycle and will always keep getting interest in this at some point. I have guy friends that have almost no interest as they have given up on girls.

Also women in their 30 and 40s start to gain momentum with this drive. Maybe it is they feel better about their bodies or it is nature pressing them to reproduce. Men on the other hand get more romantic.

In college we use to dream up Utopian societies and one we had were 21-year-old boys with 35-year-old women. Then when the man was 35 he should switch to a 21-year-old girl then the drives would be in sync.

This is not bad that women desire intimacy at all and nothing to be ashamed of. I think psychology represses a lot of this in women.

Marriage and intimacy
We are all human and it is nothing to be ashamed of. I just believe it should all be done in the context of marriage. As much crazy stuff I write, I believe in love and marriage. I do not like the idea of ‘rolling in the hay’ with partners outside the context of marriage because every time you do this is like cheating on your future spouse or corrupting someone elses husband or wife unless you marry the person you are doing it with. I know I am old fashion but hey you have your whole life to do it with your spouse why not wait?
When you do get married you should do that stuff, the Bible says so and the Church wants you do even. Nothing to feel bad about at all. You can swing from the chandeliers if you want.

However, I think women enjoy it and want this as much as men. Maybe I am too politically correct and try to see men and women as too equal but I like to think that we are basically the same but playing with a different rule book in life.

Quick point. Everything you said makes sense. But also, at least here in America, why is it when men smile at more women theyre applauded but when women do they’re considered, for lack of a better word, bad girls?

Most of my friends and acquaintances are not players at all. I know most of my friends regretting they have slept with women as they are morally aware and sensitive and when they have their wives all those ‘rolls in the hay’ ment nothing without true love. My friends are attractive and successful.

Guys I know are not like pop culture characterization of men. Just take a look, most of the guys writing on this forum are searching for true love. They want a real wife and bride not a fling. Maybe some do, but the guys that write me privately and post here mostly want the real thing. Why? Because if you find someone you really connect with and are attracted to it is eons better than being a confirmed bachelor and getting corpulent and old when the rest of your friends have the pitter patter of little feet running around their house.

Rewards of having a family Vs. being a serial dater
I mean I am watching Star Wars with my daughter and playing chess. I am basically reliving my childhood but even better. My wife is beautiful and brings peace to our home.

Why would I want to have cold heartless one night stands and hurt people’s feelings for my own ego gratification? Grow corpulent and old watching TV and eating Chinese food alone in my chair? And going out with recyled women as I get older and older.

I want a white picket fence and ketchup fights and spooning and the whole thing. And you know I have it. I traveled all over the world and nothing beats being married to your soul mate.

I think teenage guys think in terms of ‘notches on their belt” because they are insecure and are looking for affirmation that they are one of the guys. But this is a teenage mentality.

Human genes of fidelity love and dating relationships
But human evolution is not about survival of the fittest nor spreading your seed to as many as possible.

This is a huge fallacy in understanding genetics and evolution.

Genetic proliferation has developed a higher level strategy as confirmed by many leading edge genetics and expressed by thinkers like Alfred Gierer from Tubingen. It is not just an interplay of the strong survive and luck, but now in our genes are actually ideals like cooperation, and community and ethics. They are evolving into our genes as natures sees this as a better strategy for survival than pure reptilian selfishness or ‘spreading ones seed’. Think about it. If we are to survive would not it make sense for evolution to incorporate more advance traits to proliferate and differentiate genes?

So the mating and dating game is not as is characterized in the popular press and dogmatic scientists. Ideals of love and loyalty to ones partner and mating for life are found in humans as our genes and consciousness evolve.

But ultimately I should not care how others behave. I should only like you ask questions of why people do things but live my life based on what I think is right.

This includes for me, finding the love of my life.

Maybe it is a Western European – American thing. In Eastern Europe you do have some guys that are going though primitive perpetual adolescence, but most are not. The Russian guys I and guys from Spain and Portugal and many other places are not like that at all. They are from the village and have been taught right and wrong. Or maybe it has something to do with education or religion. I do not know any men that are professors or Doctors here that are swingers; only the ones that try to act cool, but are walking bundles of insecurity are trying to meet girls all the time. Just ignore these guys.

Honestly Brittany, that is not the first time I have heard an American female ask that question, and I need to ask you to narrow it down a bit. Could you be more specific? I mean that is like me asking why would a girl go out with a guy to a restaurant, and have no intentions of getting romantically involved with him (not necessarily smile at him that night) but just use him as a meal ticket, and then have her women friends applaud her later on for taking advantage of him like that?

Guyver, I’m sorry if my question was too vague. But for example, if a guy sleeps or dates 4 girls within one years, he’s applauded. But if a girl does the same thing, she can be considered a wh_re. Why? They’ve both slept or dated the same amount. What makes it different?

I would be curious what other guys think, but me personally I think there is no honor in sleeping with four girls in a year. I mean when you get married and find your one and only this is like you have cheated on your future wife.

Further, the girls you ‘rolled in the hay’ with will be someone else’s sweetheart. If you put it in this perspective than think there is more honor, learning languages, doing charity, yoga, traveling excelling in sports or whatever than playing with people’s feelings.
Maybe you have done this, as you wanted to experience this or dating basically is lame and you felt you had no options.

Well just think about what I wrote. I think every time a guy or girl does this, it makes the task of finding their one and only more difficult as they do not feel the deep pains of loneliness and have the courage to do crazy things like search around the world for their one and only. They take energy that could have been transmutted to a purer form and dissipate it.

Virtue is its own reward, look up those cool players in a few years and you will see that they have nothing special going on in their lives. It is Karma perhaps.

Yeah. I mean, you probably shouldnt smile at four a year, but what about when you are with someone, who you love, and have s_x, but like a year later you break up? Now, I think that’s a different thing, especially if you two had talked about getting married. I mean yeah, some people believe in no premarital friendship, but what about in those cases? Those people think that that person is their future spouse.

Brittany, who exactly is doing the applauding? I’ve heard cases where other guys would cheer each other on in getting the “cordial lady” into bed for a one nighter, and then getting applauded by his young immature friends for it. Like it was some sort of conquest or challenge. A certain social flow will go with that trend. However, the dating four times a year part? That is still fuzzy, a man and a woman can “date” each other for a time with no friendship involved. America confuses the heck out of me as to what “dating” even is anymore.

I didnt mean a man and woman dating 4 times a year. I meant a man or woman dating 4 different people in a year. Like, you date someone for 2 months. Then you date someone for 5 months. Then someone for 3, then someone for 2. And believe me, I’ve seen men applaud each other for getting a certain amount, not just the ‘cordial’ girl.

I know what you meant by that. I think the ‘dating’ for months on end part is what leads up to the bed. I think that is why some guys will ‘applaud’ as you put it because it takes time and effort to get it done. Maybe it’s the only way that single guys feel they can get their needs met.

I will say I have been in the situation of living with a woman who wanted to get married. In the beginning of the relationship I was thinking along those lines but as I could see what life would be like with her after only a few months – I told her I could never marry her and so I moved out. She had all the non-qualities that you mention on this blog in abundance. Basically a militant materialistic.

I would like to add to this by saying don’t marry an American guy (except you, Mark, you’re a good one).

American men are rude. I can’t go anywhere without some guy referring to me as “baby” or “sweetie” or some other pet name. I think it’s extremely rude for a man to refer to a woman this way when they don’t even know her. My husband calls me things like this; he calls me detka and krasotka, but he’s allowed to call me whatever he wants. He’s my husband. I should note that he didn’t even start calling me these things until we were engaged. American men think that if they “flatter” a girl by acknowledging her with a frivolous pet name, they will have her. American men think they can have anything.

Also, a lot of American men are either overweight, or they have big muscles. Neither one of these looks good. They either lose interest in their appearance and get out of shape, or they go overboard and try to show off with these ridiculously sized muscles. Both looks are completely unnecessary.

So it’s not just American girls to run from, it’s American men, too.

Touche – I have heard this complaint about American guys. They tend to be players then if they get married they pork out and are obsessed with work. On the other hand, I know many American guys that are really sweet and want true love and do stay in shape. So be as a guy it is hard to see it though your eyes because I have not had an experience as an American girl. I would be curious what other American girls think of American guys.

Abbey I believe you need to subjective. American guys would still like to stay “guys” then things have a good chance to work out. But American girl want to be “Guy” things will not work out.

Ask an American girl what is one thing she could not live without. Some of them will say hair straightener, but most of them will say cell phone. I know girls who literally stay on the phone all day with their best friend or mom.

Hard to say what it is that makes them glued to their cell phone all the time. Unlimited minutes might be a part of the reason.

It is not that common in Europe, where I live and if anyone here was to use their phone that much, they would probably have to give up a half of their paycheck. It is natural here to get off the phone once you said everything you had to say and no one blames you.

In the USA, you always have to come up with a good reason to end the call, such as “I have to go to work” or “I have another call ”. And of course, you are supposed to add “I will call you back later”, even if you really do not intend to do it.

What annoys me the most about this phenomenon is that those girls can come over to visit and never get off the phone, just taking little breaks every now and then.

Or constantly texting and never making any eye contact. This results in both the person on the phone and the one she is talking to in person feeling ignored or getting confused about who is it that she is talking to at the moment. It makes more sense to just make the most out of your visit and talk to real people when you can and talking on the phone when no one is around.

But maybe it is just me, Iam not a fan of phone conversations in general and especially cannot understand people who feel the need to stay on the phone all day for no specific reason. I cannot imagine calling my mom or a friend just to tell them what I had for lunch.

I dislike those awkward moments when a phone addict has to go to the bathroom and hands the phone to a random person instead of just hanging up for a minute, making two strangers talk to each other. Sure, you could make friends that way, but most of the time it just gets awkward on both sides of the line. So if you happen to be one of the mobile addicts, please don’t do that to your friends.

Yes I love it when you go a meet a girl for a date or are on a date and she is on her cell phone with someone else or texting or messaging someone. I do not even have a mobile phone, if I want to meet someone, be with that person, I can not image what is so important, that it can not wait.

Personally, I would feel insulted if a girl brought her phone with her during a date with me, and spent most of her time texting or doing stupid things on it. I would tell her to turn it off, or I would just leave. I don’t need to spend my time with some girl who doesn’t respect it. Cell phones have their uses but not when you are supposed to be spending time with someone you chose to spend that time with.

Agreed, cell phones have limited uses, mostly when you have a girlfriend to stay in touch when apart, but not really for dating. I do not have a mobile phone, to much of a cash flow drain and I am with my wife 24/7 so no need.

I never liked cell phones, as the ide of being followed everywhere by phone puts me off, so I did not acquire one until I was in my forties.
I would take it on a date, or to church, etc, but turn it off. But then, it is not grafted onto me like it is with many. I dont ue it much, but when you need it, its invaluble.
Its not the cell phone, its the rudeness.

I agree with it being annoying when anybody, not just girls, are on their phones 24/7 if you’re trying to hang out with them or talk to them. I mean, I know when I’m at home by myself, I text my friends a lot. But I mean, I live far away from them, so either texting or Facebook are the best ways to talk to them. Personally, I think texting is less rude. Due to the fact that if you get a text instead of a phone call, you can glance down and hurry and type, or be like, “Oh, I can answer later.” A phone call, it’s irritating if someone keeps calling you while you’re hanging out with someone and you dont want to answer it and be rude, but it’s being rude anyways by the phone going off.
And as for Guyver, I would agree with you so much if i was a guy. I mean, if i were to go out with a guy, and he were to be texting his friends, I would be irritated. I would do it back to him just to be as rude. If he’s going to be rude, then I’ll be rude back. I’m not going to waste my time being nice when he doesnt respect it. It’s ridiculous with some girls when they have their phones and are like, “Oh lord, I just got a text message/phone call. Let me answer this right now!” I mean, be polite and say excuse me i have to answer, or it’s not important; i’ll get it later.

Brittany, instead of being rude in return, why don’t you just say adios and never speak to that person again? I would have no problem telling that to a girl I was out with if she decided to start diverting her attention away from me. I don’t put up with that. Why do girls think it’s okay to disrespect a guy they are out with, such as flirting with other guys on or off the phone? It would aggravate me to no end. Are they trying to test a man’s patience? Do you think that is wise? Dating in America has become one of the world’s biggest jokes. People just need to give up. It doesn’t work. It’s like being inside the Matrix, until you’ve been unplugged then you have no idea what life should be like. I’m going off on a tangent now so I’ll just end it there.

I would be rude back to show them how it feels. If I’m out with a guy, and he’s rude to me, I’ll be rude back. I will not waste being nice on rude jerks. I dont think it is okay to disrespect a guy you’re out with. I mean, if I was out with a guy, and someone called, I’d either be like, oh I can get it later, or excuse me, I need to answer this really quick. I’d be polite about it.

Men where born to be men and women to be women. The characteristics of men and women were almost very clear from the day they were created. Things got play chess withed up when women wanted to play men. Like Tom cuise said “You complete me” But she could not be him but to complete him if you undestand what I mean. I am from Middle east and believe me the American culture is being infectious over here as well. I know. I studies in the US

I wrote a long reply to your comment but deleted it. I believe men or women can be anything they want to be and in anyway. We all create and redefine our lives based on who we are. I believe there are no rules in life except to know and love God. And this is not even a rule but life itself.
However, that being said, American girls try to be too macho for me, and this turns a lot of people off. In the Middle East as in many parts of the world, women have more power because they understand the power in being powerless. I know this seems like a bad, it is not. Their strength in following their nature if you will is like Yin. Yin energy is in some ways stronger than Yang. Water dominates over earth. Trees that bend do not break in the first storm. Trees that are hard break and fall.

I do not understand why American women do not know this and try to be hard?

Be light, be gentle, be flexible and this is real power.

What’s the difference between then and the American ones?

American women are by far the most feared. The US is a very competitive culture. We, with the idea that ‘we are all winners’ and self-confidence overflows ad nauseum walk around with heads high. Now this is not all bad. Believing in yourself is important. However, when you are pumped with ego combined with very powerful messages about obtaining material things (the USA is a little decadent this way to say the least), the idea that if you are not happy in a marriage just leave (and there is a divorce lawyer, Oh I am sorry a family lawyer, on every corner ready for 300 bucks to tell you its OK, go ahead) and a culture slightly partial towards women and bias against men to maintain political correctness, American women unless they are of a good-natured sort, many whom I meet, are not worth the risk.

However, in contrast Canadian women are not yet over the top in terms of trouble. French Canadian girls are perfectly fine. I have met few that are anything but nice. British Canadian girls are troubled like American girls because of feminism and the influence of liberal form of Protestantism that has watered down ethics to situational.
Canadians from Greece or the Middle East or virtually anywhere but the British Canadian culture girls tend to be exceptionally nice.

You mention one of your wife’s greatest attributes is the fact that she values you for you, not your looks. And yet, the vast majority of your website’s material praises foreign women primarily for their looks, and your wife, primarily for her looks. It’s unfortunate she couldn’t say the same: “my husband loves me for me, not my looks.”

How is this acceptable, or fair? If you judge women largely for their beauty, and pigeonhole beauty into a certain set of traits, I hope women do the same to you. If you get in an accident and gain weight, I hope your wife’s attraction to you wans in the same way yours would for her under similar circumstances. When she ages, I hope she grows ugly, and you learn what love really means. It’s not about having an impoverished princess who’s just so grateful to have you that she’ll wait on you hand and foot. Desiring that sort of child-like adoration from a woman is immature and downright pitiful.

Love must be founded on absolute equality and mutual respect. It must be something which persists through thick and thin. And I’m sorry, but beauty is within. One day, your wife will be ugly and you’ll realize, in hesitation at your own wife’s appearance, what a shallow farce your feelings are.

There is one point you missed. It is one thing to be single and alone and want to attract someone. And another thing to be in love and married.

I am married and love my wife no matter what as she does me.

However, when I initially met her and she initially met me, light years ago, looks was perhaps the major determinant criteria for attraction. However, looks on all levels including what we were exuding.

Do you not want to be alluring enough to attract a mate like a bee is to honey? I mean everyone wants this.

Why is this so or important?

One million years of evolution. Some people say they do not believe in evolution. I say I do not either, it is a scientific fact, not a belief. This evolutionary process has guided mating for millions of years. That is a fact.

And nature has a wisdom about reproduction that goes beyond individuals and conscious thought. Nature is not even looking at what are the best genes for the pair to pass. This is contrary to popular though.

Nature is looking at it as the human race is one organism and what is the best way for this organism called the human race to survive. Hence not the hunter aggressive genes are attractive as much, that is passe, but universally compassionate, peace making genes in men, with mental flexibility are the new hunter gathers that women are wooed by. The human race has so many people in the world that nature is now gravitating toward off springg that is assimilating and cooperative and peaceful.

I am sorry, but there are subtle physical and chemical messages interpreted by both genders as what is attractive and this changes with each generation and world situation. In the 16th century when food was scare maybe a more Rubenesque shape was appealing, but not with heart disease the major problem not food shortages, a slender athletic man and women better fit the bill as to what is physically attractive to get you married.

So go ahead, ignore one million years of evolution and be politically correct, but if you want to be physically attractive to the opposite gender, read my advice. Once you are attracted to the person, then you can figure out if the relationship makes sense from a spiritual level. But I can not imagine that I would marry someone for ‘love’ if they did not do it for me on a physical level. To me that is friendship and some people say that is enough, but I want the whole thing.

I want someone to turn my world upside down like I do for them. However, once we say out vows we stay together no matter what. I do not believe in these temporary American marriages that end in divorce. American divorces are so lame and weak. I think part of this is, I think American women have a lot of premarital relations and this is a bait to get guys, instead of winning their hearts with a combination of beauty and virtue, the Jane Austen way. I do not believe in relations out of the context of marriage, I believe in a life of virtue and character development which feeds into the love and attractiveness equation.

I believe in one true love. If you want to find love, I suggest you take my advice about looks seriously as I am telling it like it is, nothing sugar-coated so we all feel good but no awareness is increased.

Yes I believe in true love and if you have ever read the story the Velveteen rabbit you have to know once you love someone it you do not notice the changes as they can not be ugly only beautiful. I am basically a Platonist, ‘live with the forms’.

By the way, where are you from that you have such strange views that are not congruent to science and nature?

I am a guy, and will describe my feelings like this. I do not choose who I love based on looks, but I do choose who I will consider that way.
Also, “looks” is a very personal factor. I happen to like short and slim, intelligent and strong, green eyes, red hair, or dark hair. BUT! I do not choose based on this. Personal preferences make some decisions more likely, but I am not obsessive, nor are most men, I believe.
Simple genetics explain it.
Men- need to rise to the occasion to reproduce. This means they need a certain level of stimulation and excitement. Thus, genetics dictates they pursue “looks”
Women- are stuck with the results of their choices, and so are genetically better off choosing nice guys who will stay around and support them, than guys with looks who will abandon them.
Genetics is also a factor in men preferring younger women, as they are more fruitful. Women lose the ability to reproduce at a certain age, men never do.
That’s all it is. Genetic imperatives.
That being said, “looks” mean different things to everyone, that’s what makes the world go round. My tastes have changed a lot over the years.
And so far as “looks”. any woman whose weight is appropriate for her height, and is not actually repulsive, looks attractive.
Its not that hard.

The American Woman is NOT marriage material for a long-term lifetime loving relationship, especially considering the literal contributions of many of the American females on this discussion thread. She demands to remain self-serving in a relationship, disregarding the needs of unity with her male counterpart, irrespective of whether he is American or not. What fuels her plight is her need to remain blameless and irresponsible for all the perceived injustices against her.

Gentlemen, Admin has been the beacon of gentle and diplomatic persuasion. I submit that the great majority of American Women be disregarded if you are to have the best chance of a fulfilling life long relationship. She will put her materialistic manifesto and ideology ahead of the needs of her relationships, and have you believe you need to buy into it, otherwise you are meaningless. The last time this kind of mentality took over strictly, human beings were being sent to gas chambers.

Any woman who is demonstratively kinder, gentler, more compassionate and understanding with the backbone to stand by and remain with you in your darkest hour, deserves to rule your world. This, most evidently, excludes the American woman.


You’ve hit the mark yourself everytime. Unfortunately, the problem persists despite calling it out.

Much appreciate your kind words nonetheless.


I have a question for you the admin. I am a brown skinned American, decently handsome, in a Lawrence of Arabia kind of way but muscular from playing football in high school and 7 yrs of military service in the U.S. Army as a combat medic.

My issue is when I came back to the states, many liberal people associated me with killing Iraqis and doing bad things while this wasn’t the case as I was a combat medic and i helped and treated wounded people.

While a good number of conservative whites didn’t see me as being one of them, despite the fact that i am conservative by nature, and am a christian.

I did meet girls however, but the American pop culture thing seemed very alien to me, as I lived, breathed, and slept the values of loyalty, duty, honor, selfless service, respect, honor, and personal courage. I got offended that some American girls could be so spoiled and extremely pampered and on the backs of people that bleed sweat and die for this country that they could use very hurtful words like creep, etc. when there was no physical or verbal threat at all. all i did was care about them much more so than the average Joe American guy would because of my combat medic background and instinctive ability and knowledge to take care of others.

I don’t understand American culture that well honestly even though I am a u.s. citizen, and have been here for a long time. I believe in being honest, being a master of your craft, and if you have an issue with someone you have to tell the person face to face, to not do so for me is cowardice and dishonorable.

My question to you then is how would a person like me get along with the possibility of being with a European woman?, Eastern or Western, preferably eastern because I am half Eastern European background, and other half is Asian.

The reason why I ask you this, is because I am the exact opposite of the American man stereotype, I wake up at 6 in the morning, compete in strength sports and am ripped, I love activity, have a degree from college in communication, I don’t drink beer or smoke, I travel a lot, and have written a lot of poetry and compositions in college magazines. I like to speak using words like majestic, elegant, magnificent. an example of word usage that makes me seen as weird at the bar/club scene, and i feel out of place from many American men, who like to drink beer and use cavemen language.

I have a good number of female friends, but it just seems silly to start a relationship with them because I get the feeling I can’t be vulnerable and honest to them about my real life hardships and military experiences of friends lost in battle, because they will curse me with their insecurity, as I experienced in the past, because i don’t follow the average Joe American man stereotype. these are some of the real life struggles that I faced in America.

You are way over analyzing this. Americans are so diverse and the culture is always changing and a number of sub cultures exist. There is a place for everyone here.

About girls they do not care about skin color or where you have been. What do girls want in any culture? They want a cool charming guy, they want to know where you are going. Someone with ideals to life them up where they belong like the song goes from the movie “An officer and a Gentleman” I would highly recommend you watch that movie and see the type of things girls really go for.

Ever feel like a fish out of water?
I would not recommend American girls. Yeah, there are a few nice ones hidden away somewhere, but who has a lifetime to find them?
I would try Filipinas first, and Latin American girls. They do not possess the knee-jerk prejudices from the six o’clock news.
I am not sure what you seek, but keep in mind, most of the better countries to seek a wife in have Christian values. It is people like this who are open-minded, accepting, loving and true.
You seem to have intelligence and bitter experience, use it when seeking your foreign wife. Being from another country is not a guarantee of perfection. But after years in the crucible called romance here, you must have learned valuable lessons. Apply them in your search.
Good luck and God bless

I like your reply, does that mean though I should conform and portray myself as a bum like most of the other guys are and not that educated. I think you’re response is educated and smart, but I am different from the norm in that, I am well mannered, very ambitious, use oxford level English and so on. Should I change that, drink beer a lot, act like a caveman, maybe even smoke cigarettes in order to get an American woman?

The intellectually curious and smart people of the world get partners because evolution needs brains over brawn nowadays for mankind to survive.

There is no way you should lower yourself down. If you are talking about a girl who you want to be with for the long-term, take the high ground and talk about idealistic things.

For example, both my wife and I have Master’s degrees and some education after that. However, that does not matter, that matters is we are both intellectually curious, therefore the conversation just naturally gravitates towards interesting things. I have been with her for years yet the conversation is always nothing less than fascinating (as Mr. Spock use to say).

You want to find a smart on. If you want to get an American Smart one, try to find a girl interested in something deeper than the hear and now. For example, girls interested in classic literature or classical music or science or history are interesting girls.

I am sure you can find girls like this. They might be few and far between. However, that means you just have to increase the number of girls you talk to. I would have no problem talking to a dozen girls a day casually and flirt with them even for a minute if I were you. Maybe that is just me. But girls love the game. They love charming guys that flirt. This has nothing to do with looks, rather you need to perfect the way you talk to girls maybe.

If you really want to stay in the USA for your search and the likes have searches for interests. Try things like Russian literature for example.

However, don’t you think it would be much easier to find a foreign bride? I mean someone who is already into geeky guys. American girls tend to go for the football player guys. Yet maybe this is because that is all that is offered to them? Try to be the maverick geek that you are and you will attract girls. Look at the guys on Big Bang theory, they have girls all the time over their place.

No, don’t change.
What is known as love here is a valueless system. The women judge men here on purely immaterial basis. Character, honesty, fidelity, strength, intelligence, sensitivity, mean nothing. To “win” you have to give into the pressures and compromise yourself.
I wont.
Heck, I like beer well enough, but I cannot hide my intelligence, and refuse to trade my values for the approval of those who have none.
Here, winning is losing.
If you are serious about an American girl, try libraries, date teachers, volunteer at church. Try to mix with people with character, intelligence and values.
If you are interested in a foreign lady, look to South America and the Philippines, because they are still very Christian, and hold to good values.
I hear ladies from India are very traditional and conservative and intelligent, but have no experience, and the culture seems so vastly different from what I know. It seems too big a project at my age, but they sure are exotic and beautiful.
I agree with good old “ADMIN” in that foreign ladies should receive serious consideration. I did this long ago, before computers made it somewhat easier, and it was a great adventure.

I see what you are saying admin, you make sense. but here’s my situation, I am built like the football players that the girls you talk about like a lot, however, personality wise I am nothing like them. I am into literature, fine arts, poetry, etc. I know its hard to write too much about this, but I am like a vladimir klitchko type of athlete so to speak, not like a football butch. I do strongman and strength sports, but i don’t speak or think like a meathead, I speak proper and use professional level English and tone, probably goes along with college degree and etiquette taught to me as a child.

I am curious though, when you say maverick geek, what does that mean? at least in the way you refer to it as.

Chicks respond to style and charm. The question is are you stylish? Do you have charm? Girls would go wild over the assets you have with your brains and all. You just have a marketing problem. If you are as you say you are you just do not market yourself right. That is style and charm.
That is one side of the equation. The second side is do you travel and meet women abroad and on the web. I would take road trips and travel to Mexico or anywhere cheap and meet girls but also I would use the power of the web with online dating sites from around the world. How are you using these?
Also could you use “I” instead of “i” when you write here, thanks.

Interesting, I always thought that if I self marketed myself that would be seen as being egotistical, vain, and pompous. I always thought that being humble was the only way to live life, and that through energy alone, a girl will be able to sense what a guy is all about when it comes about in conversation. My family is deeply religious Eastern European, and Asian values.

Maybe in America it is different. So I want to know what you mean by marketing myself better? Could you elaborate on this?

Please use appropriate capitalization. I have to correct everyone of your comments. Thank you.
Basically you want to try an online dating site and write a very in-depth well thought out profile. Nothing general, but really something that speaks from your soul.
I am married so I only flirt with my wife. But if I was single I would flirt with a few girls a day, even the ones I was not interested in, just to tone my social skills so when you do meet the one, you will not stand there rambling about nothing like a (fill in any metaphor you like here).
Also what is your style like? Describe it to me, this is critical.

My style is very simple, what you see is what you get, I believe in honesty the most, I feel and as per how I was brought up, that gossiping and talking behind someone’s back is cowardly and dishonorable.

My main style of doing things though is being smooth, laid back, mellow, and relaxed.

I am humble by nature, and can speak well about literature, art, and so forth, and i love to be a craftsman, and I love sports.

I have won medals for power lifting and strongman for the state of Missouri that I am from.

However, for my sport it requires a lot of dedication, and I am very driven, however with this drive, I feel that I am pressured to drink a lot of alcohol and do things of that nature, just to be with some girl from the bar scene, that I have no interest in doing. Though some of my training friends do so, at the cost of their competition performance. To me its like a catch 22, i get better at contests, however, I am by myself, and they have girlfriends.

I don’t see a need to sacrifice my physique and acumen, by inhaling insane amounts of pizza, beer, weed, alcohol, and recreation drugs, or stay up til 6 a.m. just to get an American girlfriend.
though it seems to be the trend.

I have seen better results in yoga class, and dancing classes though, but I lose my trust easily, because of negative past experiences, where a girl would disrespect me by asking do I have a girlfriend?, and saying that we were nothing more than just friends, etc. Even though I did 7 years in the army as a combat medic, got deployed to Iraq, and have competed in sports contests.

I also get baffled at seeing the stereotypical American guy, sometimes I feel pressured into being the stereotypical American guy, but very few guys even know what its like to be a warrior, like myself, which is the exact opposite of the lazy caveman guy they show on t.v.

I am a competitive athlete as well as a warrior, that’s pretty much who I am. sorry MTV, VH, no American guy jackass here.

I would not go to an American bar to or play the American dating game. You will end up depressed. In contrast, a guy like you walking the streets of Moscow, Kiev or Buenos Aires would have model like women on each arm.

Yet if you are into American girls and there are many good ones you need to hone in on your style and approach.

Listen if you are kind of beefy looking I would recommend Brooks Brothers as your style. You already exude enough male stuff being a former Army guy and power lifter, so you need to balance it out with a little bit of the I spend my summers in Nantucket look.

If you dressed a little like the Great Gatsby ladys would be all over you. Clothes and style do make the man. If you have no luck with the girls you want, a change in style will go a long way to have girls let down their guard with you. With girls it is all about fear. You might scare them off. So you need to dress right. Brooks Brothers is just one suggestion but it is hard to go wrong with this. But there are many other styles that might fit you. The DJ look is cool too. I like the rock climbers black Gor-tex type body shirts with a good haircut.

It is not about materialism at all, simply girls like a well dressed man.

The objective here is to determine why girls are scared of you or the right ones do not connect with you. I think it has nothing to do with who you are, but what they see on the surface.

Once you have them, then they can discover what a sensitive sweetheart you are.

My main advice to you if focus on girls with ideals and high ideals, ignore all the others as all that glitters is not gold.

Interesting you say that, I love what you wrote. curious though, what is it about the American bar scene? or American dating? That you say will depress me. I should add some more info about me, I am not innocent, I had a lot of one night stands, the problem with me, it seems that is all I attract. I try to start a relationship with a girl who I consider the right one for me, but it doesn’t work out, either she doesn’t return my calls, or doesn’t message me anymore, have no idea why.

I have had a couple of relationships that haven’t lasted more than 2 weeks, one managed to last a month.

What I’m really looking for is a girl to be able to understand me well, which leads me to the next thing, I am really not a violent guy, I have been in the past because I grew up in very rough neighborhood’s at the time being the 90’s, my youth and so on, and me getting roughed up by my dad and bullies, created a situation where I had to fight back just to defend myself and winning fights meant survival and being able to eat lunch without starving because someone beat me up and took my lunch money away from me, then after high school it was college then off to military for 7 years.

But violent, physically is something I have never been, rarely even verbally. I often wonder if pop culture t.v. shows though do have a huge influence on women, because this is where I believe the confusion comes from. I feel that people like me are rare as heck, probably 1% maybe less of the population, and people that go through what I went through rarely come on t.v. movies, and pop culture shows, especially someone bi racial like me I’m half Asian, half Eastern European.

Hence, the stereotypical bar goer or American dater, getting more action long term dating wise.

Here’s the caveat though, I moved from a close minded place like Iowa, sheesh, boy that place was something else, almost reminded me of high school, to a more civilized place, the Florida keys. lots of people from over the world come to the Keys, I like the people here and the women, and they are good natured and spiritual. I realize that in the 90’s America was a more peaceful place, and there were not as many cliques and America was far less segmented, that Iowa, Missouri, or Florida would have made no difference. but today in 2012, it does, which makes me a bit upset, but I know that god takes care of everything and that karma affects everyone.

But I am a lover not a violent thug/biker type, and just like how even an atomic bomb will get absorbed by the pacific ocean if detonated deep in the pacific ocean, with the pacific ocean winning the battle and easily defeating the atomic bomb, if being here doesn’t work, (maybe protection from the higher power/god), I will go overseas, once I have dinero saved up from my work and work in an overseas location.

So I guess my question is what specifically are you going to find girls besides bars? Have you tried online dating, beyond Have you tried dating girls from other parts of the world?

Just because a girl is attracted to you for being a big, strong football type does not mean she is a hairy chested, beer drinking one of the boys. Physical attraction is not necessarily an indication of personality. I am the opposite of you physically, but I just adore smart, strong women. So don’t assume that a woman who is attracted to your football bod is an airhead cheerleader type. Give them a chance. You might make some lonely intellectual lady’s dreams come true.

Hello Admin,

I read all of your posts very carefully. I am really amazed at the analysis you made in the American Dating and I find every word you mentioned in the article is so true.

I lived in 4 countries and I speak 4 different languages, I am an Ivy League Graduate and I earn way more than an average American and I thought I would be a good catch when I first came here. Everywhere I lived I found that the American dating was the hardest of all. I dated several women, no woman (in america) ever made me or showed enough interest for me to get married. This is true only in America, I never had so much dating issues anywhere else in the world. Rest of the world makes you feel you are needed. Now I feel I wish I was married before I came to this country.

I cannot find a bride from another country because I cannot leave the country as my immigration is still tied to my job/work otherwise I really would. I have given serious thoughts about it even before I read your article.

The reason I am commenting is that you mentioned whats the problem in dating American women but you never mentioned how did this society become like this. I think its because of the lack of closeness within families and less social interaction. Everything revolves around money and freedom. I think a major contributor is that America is huge in land size and population. People move around all the time and freedom of dating and meeting new people makes them not learn to stay in a stable relationship.


Hello, Admin, As well as other guests to this post.

I was wondering through the internet and found this forum in here.
I am a Russian girl and I must say big Thank you to Admin from me and all other Russian girls for giving such a nice and true description of us.
My husband is American and he tells me almost every day , “I am so happy I am not married to American” and also thanks me for marrying him, because he could never marry an American girl.
He had never liked American girls and now, when more and more of his friends having troubles with their American ladies, He is trying to persuade them to look for a bride from another country.

Now, from being Russian, I do find American women and girls to be very strange. In Russia, girls are brought up to be good wives, meaning all girls learn how to cook, how to behave themselves well, how to do sewing, to be educated and how to dress appropriately. Their life are really family- oriented and It is almost impossible for a Russian girl to leave husband and kids for no reason, which actually happened to one of our friends here, in America. Now, don`t get me wrong, I`ve met some really good American women, but I have to admit they are really outnumbered.
Russian girl will try to do everything to keep her boyfriend/ husband to be happy, healthy and well-fed. They wouldn`t allow themselves to lose their mark even after 50`s. Even mature adult women in Russian stay tuned and gorgeous which I don`t really see in here.
They really stick to their husband and try to engage in their lives. My husband`s friends were shocked when they learned that I play video-games with my husband, drink beer, watch sports with him and are very much up to any outdoor activity. Meanwhile, it is what most of my Russian friends do with their boyfriends and husbands. They are trying to be not just good lovers, but also good companions and friends and keep their relationship calm and relaxed.
On the contrary, Russian men are not exactly perfect. I think they are really spoiled with all beautiful Russian girls around and take advantage of it. I had some of my friends, an absolutely stunning smart young ladies being mis-treated with their boyfriends. I think American men in this perspective are better match for them.
Russian girls are what American men looking for in relationship and vice versa.
I`ve heard that many Eastern European girls are like that. One doesn`t have to go to Russia for a bride. There are many great women in Poland, Ukraine, Romania and etc.
I hope more guys from America will find their soul-mates and happiness.

Thank you, I had a bad experience in my last relationship and gave her all my heart, only to feel used and be cheated on and not appreciated and yelled at for no reason. I’m an American in America. Now, I’m looking overseas for that can give me as much of her heart as I can give her.

This post makes me sad. I am an American girl from the USA. It is true that there are many women here that would not make good wives. However, being raised in a Christian home with virtues such as love, humility, and respect, I also know many women who would ‘play chess with’ly wives. How can virtuous sweet women from America marry good men if all of them think of American women as whole are uncultured selfish snobs? Should we move to other countries (I honestly would not mind moving to a different continent and learning about the cultures there). How do the “good” American women get beautiful fairy tale romances?

It is true there are a large percentage of women here who are not tempting marriage material. But, many men fit this description too.
Some guys are just bad characters, but mainly, American men know only what they see, and live. They cannot see past the materialistic culture they live in. They become creatures of that culture, blind to what they are. Does a fish know its in water?
If you want to succeed in love here, you will need to live by the higher values you wish to find in a man. Expect more, but be more also.
It seems to me, most guys dont date, but “hook up” and few try to present themselves decently. With American girls, its easy come, easy go, easy lay. The guys get what they want with little or nothing expected in return, then drift on to the next hook-up.
Have standards, withhold yourself. Make them prove they are worthy, and they truly care about you, and not just a free ride.
Dating anywhere requires an investment of your time and yourself, with many dead ends before you find the right one.

I guess my main complaint about the culture of American dating is its obsession with materialism and superficial things that do not matter. What matters is love. Not career or ego or even friends. Family and love.

So true. American woman raised in a Southern Baptist Family that found true love and marriage with a man ‘off the plane’ from Southern Italy!

I think BOTH American women and men fall into this trap. When I moved into the greater NYC Area in January 2006 from Western NY – I was shocked at the number of ‘Yuppie’ types down here that expected their future wife to be a Lawyer, a Doctor, and Indian Chief, be a size 2, have a million dollars in the bank, etc. etc. I actually went into a hibernation mode for a year to get away from that mentality.

Then – enter my husband. The Calabrese have a saying – Women Need Daylight Hours. Expecting them to do it all was a ‘cheat’ and a ‘lie’ they were told.

I wish you American men here at this site would reach out to other American men and say – You guys are putting this unrealistic pressure on women. They in turn push harder at trying to be a super power in corporate America. You both lose. Your both chasing the wrong things.

I’m a bit a old fashioned I guess – but I look for my promotions at home with my sweetheart – not at work. If taking care of myself, our home, my husband and those things are my priority – then I’d rather be a throwback to a different era and take my licks for it.

Signed – Future Italian Citizen and Happy Wife of an Italian Husband That Has a Happy Life!

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