This post will tell you how to move overseas to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. I will also look at the pros and cons of living abroad, as an expatriate for love.
I am the first to admit that my dating advice is radical. Nevertheless, it will get you married, I promise. I have know confirmed bachelors’ who swore they would never get married or could not get a girl, married in six months living in another country. Although, I think online dating is good, better is to move abroad and find a girl or guy to marry. Its a mathematical axiom, as the online girls will be browsed about seven hundred views a month. The off line girls will have only you, and maybe some local guy who is working at a coffee shop hitting on her.
Do you feel you will never get a woman for you, and never get married? Join the club. I was that way. I would metaphorically cry myself to sleep, thinking the world around me was wrong and that I could not attract women. If you feel this way you are completely wrong. You do not see your own beauty and power. You could attract almost anyone in the whole world with the right attitude.
The truth is, laughter always sounds more perfect than weeping. Laughter flows in a violent riff and is effortlessly melodic. Weeping is often fought, choked, half strangled, or surrendered to with humiliation. – Anne Rice
You have to ask God to give you the confidence and courage to believe in yourself and carry out your mission on this earth including finding the love of your life. Do it in a light-hearted laughing way, rather than weeping in self pity.
What you tell yourself that prevents you from finding someone abroad:
- Too old – Bullchips, I was forty when I met my wife and I know guys older.
- Too shy – The way to break shyness is take small risks until you get use to taking larger risks.
- Divorced – Like half the people in the US. Hope wins over experience.
- No one fits your ideal – Try harder and read the Bible, unless you are perfect you have no right to judge. Take Yoga classes and learn acceptance or live your life as a strange old man.
- No money – Love and money are opposites, do you not know that by now?
- Not worth the effort any more – OK then, you have to accept you are neither male or female, rather some amorphous blob that does not have enough hormones to motivate yourself for mating.
I moved abroad twice and so can you
The first time in my early twenties, I quit my job at Chase Manhattan Bank on Wall Street and went to Europe. I was not looking for love. The second time, I quit my job in downtown Boston and left those nonsensical women behind. I was forty and I met my wife in less than a month. Of course it took another six months to get her to go out with me. If I can do it you can do it. Both times I came back better than my previous domestic life full of obsessions and self-pity.
We are all condemned to live in our own self made purgatories – Mr. Spock
You can free yourself from this situation you are in now, it is simply buy an airline ticket (I recommend one-way) to the country of your choice. If you do not know where, spin the globe and see where your finger lands.
It is totally awesome and surreal living abroad. For example, One night I was thinking, here I am Friday night, in a club with women that look like Eastern European models and the guys back home are in cubes in their office living lives of quiet desperation.
Domestic dating sucks so what are you waiting for?
I do not need to rehash what you already know about the dating scene in your own country. Domestic dating sucks. It is a lot people who are not serious about staying together a lifetime. Rather, players and materialistic oriented self-seeking superficial people. So go abroad (leave the USA, UK or India or wherever your homeland is) and find a get the girl and live happily ever after.
Oracle: Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you’re waiting for something.
Oracle: Your next life, maybe. Who knows?
People are waiting for their life to happen with little risk. News flash: Victory comes to the brave.
Pros of moving abroad to find a spouse
- Get the women (or men) that do not put themselves online – Find the women that are off the dating sites. Find sleeping beauty and Cinderella rolled into one. The ones that nobody is looking for. The ones passed up by guys. The girls that do not see themselves as special, you think they are amazing. They might live in some anonymous big city in a block of flats or a village which is off the gird. They perceive themselves as some ordinary girl that will never get a guy, and you come alone and are prince charming and sweep them off their feet. I want to be a prince charming and a knight who rescues the princess. This is in contrast to girls who put themselves online and out there as marketable and ready to move. Who might be just as good, but I want to find the diamond in the rough. I want to live a fairy-tale.
- As a foreigner you will be seen as someone different – I have seen guys and girls date singles abroad that only movie stars and models could date back home. The reason is we all add up to 100% and all have something lovable about us, but the domestic dating game does not take note of our uniqueness. The US places a inordinate emphasis on money, job status and a distorted view of looks. We are all different and have unique characteristics that should be adored. More superficially, if you are in shape and have a sense of style combined with intellectual curiosity you can have the mate of your choice abroad. Think of it this way. If in your school a Swedish female exchange student showed up, she would be the talk of the town. Similarly if you are a guy and move to Europe in a village, you will be popular, just because you are a novelty, and that does not wear off.
- You do not miss anything by leaving your country – What are you missing? Really a few BOGO specials on frozen pizza and ice cream, the next Neflix series? The 24/7 political commentary on the news and the perfectly watered and cut lawns of suburbia? The nasty unhumble attitudes of people that make a little money here. Come on, get a life, routine gets boring.
- Economic benefits of living in another country – I moved abroad before the economic crisis and moved back after. People were telling me my career would be ruined. They were wrong. I missed the crisis and came out ahead economically of my peers who stayed behind. My friends are underwater in the homes or just getting by. In contrast, the broadening of my resume was seen as innovated and a positive thing. I learned things my co-workers could never learned living abroad, including languages.
- If you think it is too much effort – Consider how much of an effort it will be to marry the wrong woman and give her your house and half your money and let her crush your heart while she is riding some young buck. Better is to meet a real woman face to face and who cares about religion.
Contemplate the brevity of life and the measureless gulf of eternity that lies before and beyond – Marcus Aurelius
What if you get stuck and just can not do it? You say, maybe I will just go back to online dating. Sign up for six months of yoga and learn to bend and stretch you mind. Practice yoga for six months or more at a good studio, like a Baptiste studio or Ashtanga, something thing will open your mind. If you do not know a place to do yoga, write me and your area and I will tell you which studio I would do in your area to get you unstuck.
Cons of leaving the country for love and marriage
There is a power in being powerless and anonymous.
- You have to deal with visa issues – You can live abroad for three to six month until you have passport/visa issues. The solution is cross the boarder and renew it (does not work as well any more, but possible), or get a job at a language school that will sponsor your work visa. Each major city has a consulate or an office of foreigners or department of immigration you can connect with.
- Money – Money who cares about money, are you absolutely nuts? Love matters, money does not. Teach English, do Fiverr or get a consulting job trade in the market. It does not matter. I lived in poor countries abroad for a good part of my life and you can always make enough to scrape buy. Am I a sleep under the bridge hippie? No in the US I am an investment banker, but abroad I prefer to be nobody.
Things to do before you seek love in Europe, South America or Asia:
This advice applies if you are going for longer than six months.
- Quit your job – Best day of your life (until you get married). You get to tell your boss good-bye.
- Put you things in storage – Or give them away to a needy charity, as this is good Karma and a tax deduction.
- Sell your house or condo – I am a Realtor I know what I am talking about. This is easy, I am flipping real estate all day long. You can get another house when you return. If you can make a small profit take the money and run. If not rent it.
- Simplify your investments – Make them all quasi liquid in case you need them, except your retirement accounts. Do not open a foreign bank account as it will make your tax situation easier to keep all funds US, just use your bank card abroad. I only had bank card problems in the US not abroad.
- Get rid of your old clothes and buy new – You want to look your best, so buy clothes from Hollister for your overseas adventure.
- Get in really good shape – Hit the gym and lose the weight, or do what you have to to lose weight, even if it is hot yoga twice a day.
- Learn 2,000 words – Learn a few thousand words in your new country using flashcards. I did this and could get by, and once you are there you will learn more. Do not worry about any grammar. Use Mnemonic tricks to remember your first 2,000 words. No one is good with languages, but use mnemonics and no grammar and you can learn what you needs. Memory words with association. You can not just remember something that is foreign, you need to associate it with something funny or strange. Access women that speak little English or do not use it professionally. If they are translators or tour guides or English teachers they get too many foreigners hitting on them and have inflated egos. Go for women that speak little English and do not want to be exported like a piece of meat back to your country.
- Write girls before you leave – But these will not be the ones you will date, they are just to flirt with online. Once you land go to a club and you will meet someone you will marry in six months.
- Find a flat – Use the local version of Craigslist or Gumtree or work with someone abroad to find the best deal on apartments to rent. Rent something small and cheap, your money will last. You can bike or take a tram to though the city and live a little like Jason Bourne off the grid.
When you return to the USA:
Bring your wife back – Do not leave her if you can. Always be together unless it is a real emergency. If you need to understand how to get a visa, read my article here:
Rent or buy the cheapest place you can – But do it somewhere new, not the same old worn out patterns of life. You can look here to compare different prices in the world and at home:
This was created by a Polish programmer living in Ireland it is based on actual user input.
- Also check out City Data Forum
Turn your lawn into a garden – You have been out of the job market so you need to survive. We grow our own food. I rolled back my yard and made it into a garden. This means you eliminate the biggest drain on disposable income, about $1,000 a month savings. In my backyard I grow a few hundred heads of lettuce, about a ton of potatoes, herbs vegetables etc. Read a book on Urban Farming if you do not have land. You can do it. Read Mortgage Free if you want a home.
Be patient getting back into your work life – It might take time. That is why I recommend the above. Evaluate how much you make in your W-2 job and consider consulting. If you do not have the skills take some courses on Udemy and put yourself out there as a consultant. Try to get about 50 dollars an hour. You can always get a real estate licence, there is always something to do in the USA even in an area with no jobs.
So my question is what are you waiting for? Why would you not leave your single life and travel the world to find the love of your life?
What is more important your money or your life? Sitting safely in your philosopher’s chair browsing online profiles and chatting on Skype or living life and taking a risk.
Avoiding danger is not safer than outright exposure to it. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing – Helen Keller
If you think the dating scene in your country whether it be America or India or the UK is the best you can do, then stay there. But if you want a life of adventure with strange and exotic tale to recant when you are old consider moving abroad. I mean when you are in your 90s are you going to start living your life?