As you know dotpay is just a Polish type of paypal. You can write Sympatia and they will reply. us.sympatia.net/contact.html is the contact page. You can write them in English. It is worth it, in my opinion. I have known a few people who are together because of the website. Not every girl on there is for you, but I think Poles tend to be more serious about their religion than many because of their history. So give it a try. NYC is one of the hardest places to find a nice person by the way. So many people it makes your head spin, but to find the one for you, it is another story. Also consider so trips to other countries and if you want to let me know how it all works out for you.

Just remember the story of the ‘pearl of great price’. This is what you should seek in your life. The girl who you would give up everything for, including your NYC and career etc and I believe God will reward you.

Ha ha after about 2 weeks of frequent corespodance 50% of those women steered th e conversation to sex and ran dow their list of what the will and will not do and what they like and the whole roll and some of them more or less promised to have sex with me when I got home, Well I stayed light in that part of the coversation as i was not on there for that any way, and then talked of other things and soon the ladies (if ya want to call em that) quit writing me alltogather, I guess they were really looking for Mr. Right ………right tonight. I can not stand the way U.S. women are either they complained that evryone was after sex on there but when they meet a guy like me who does not persue them for that nor even bring it up bang they are gone. It have been my obsevation that U.S. women (a lot of them) use sex as a tool to manipulate the man and or control him and and since I did not persue them for that I was rejected more or less for anything else the sensed that thier powers of sex as a tool or contorll device were useless against me, In the other countries women are approachable friendly, genuine and real, ther are horor stories of some guys i know who have taken Russian , asian and other nationalty wifes but then they met those women as well prostitutes in the first place you can not turnm those in to house wifes, and ther view of men and relationships are distorted from their occupation, and so they take the guy for a ride and the money then it goes bad. So internet women and so on not the best bet, best to meet in a real place for real.

I’ve enjoyed reading your posts. More than anything I’m surprised to find in myself many of the values you have mentioned. I’ve been living in NYC for 15 years, and I rarely run across anyone who talks about these values especially in the context of dating and choosing a mate. I guess it’s nice to have this new awareness and also to feel like it’s ok.

I’ve been so intrigued that I logged into us.Sympatia.net. I’ve tried to “join the club” so that I can send email, but I’m unable to navigate “dotpay” to make the transaction. Any suggestions?

Thanks again. I am glad to be more clear on my values and to feel like I’m not alone.

Meditate on the quote below and really think about this in relation to the connections especially dating relationships you have. Watch the movie where this famous quote about greed and wealth is from and tell me what you think. And who gets the girl in the end of this movie by the way? The Rich man or the noble savage?

Before I get into my rebuttal to women and money and guys and relations did you ever see the movie Last of the Mohegans when Hawkeye’s translated soliloquy drives home of point of culturally relative values of security?

Would Magua use the ways of le Francais and the Yengeese?
Would you?
Would Huron have greed for more land than a man can use?
Yes – Would the Huron make his Algonquin brothers foolish, with brandy and steal his lands to sell them for gold to the white man?

Men are complex not base animals

I as a man can tell you I want someone who I can communicate with, be a spiritual partner, be a family, go to Disney and the whole nine yards. Humans are complex animals from our diet (we just do not graze on grass like cows) to our needs in life look up, Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Single men often focus on the physical relationships aspect not because married men’s libido decrease, on the contrary. Rather men are complex. Once you have your hot princess whom you are physically attracted to than you can focus on other things also. Imagine you are with your fantasy girl every night. That is marriage. Then you can read books and travel and do other things as well.

When you are single so much thought is put into achieving this physical connection., while in marriage it is given. Read about Maslow’s hierarchy.

I also think, that is why as a single man it is hard to really achieve wealth. I do not know too many captains of capital in that are not married. This point is echoed by Napoleon Hill.

Women seek emotional security not money security
About women wanting security, there are different types of security. Further material security is relative to a high degree would you not say so?

For example, in times of hunting and migration and famine women tended not to have their cycle during hard times because of this, it is nature. However, we do not live in conditions like that today. No one in the USA or the EU sees years of famine and migration. Those are extreme.

It is all relative. I lived in Poland for ten years and I am telling you, the poor in the UK or the USA are rich and spoiled. I am sorry. The -30 degree temperatures with no running water in Ukraine or the hard conditions people grew up on in post communist Poland, compared to someone in the USA crying poverty does not compute in my brain. My point is wealth is relative. Girls and expectations are relative.

My wife does not expect anything as she grew up with little and is spiritual.
I in contrast grew up in preppy New England. I did not expect much because I believe in the message of God. That is be thankful for whatever is given to you.

Further, many great people I know started poor and became rich. Many rich men ended in poverty. Women who go for money are foolish as the truth is seen not in the beginning or the end but always the whole (Hegal).

Many poor people I meet are happily married. I do taxes in an area that has rich and poor and I have to say the poor marriages are happier generally than the middle class marriages. In fact the only normal families that are happy and together and are all lovey dovey with happy kids seem to be poor religious families. Maybe it is just the people who come into my office, I do not know.

I now live on a semi tropical Island off the coast of Florida under nice standard. I am not rich, nor poor, but my wife is happy. She promised to marry me for richer or for poorer. As I did also. This is what marriage and love is about.

It takes a lot of courage to live with convictions like this, but would it not be great to find a girl who believes this?

I have no idea why guys waste their time dating girls who care about money. If the sickness of greed has infected a person, it is best to move on.

If you think American girls are materialistic do not date them.

I think women seek emotional security which ay man can give them, but if you are meeting girls that want cars and money in a bank account, walk away.

Meanwhile there are countless girls who are over looked because they prefer not to shine in a base way but rather live their lives of quite desperation. These are the girls you want to connect with, rescue and sweep off their feet. They will appreciate and love you all the days of your life. Not the girls who look good at first glance and have been there done that or aspire to be there and do that.

Like the Bible says, when at a feast position yourself at the lowest point at the banquet table and so when the host see you he will say come join me by my side. You do not want to be the one who takes the seat of honor and is asked to move aside. And so it is with women.

Family and friends are just OK ways of meeting girls as the numbers of connections do not permit enough matches that could be potential for more.

Breaking the ice exists because women have so much at stake (pregnancy and family to care for) if they hook up with a guy so they are careful. Basically is a girl smiles at you and looks you in the eye you are in (after a lot of effort of course). So girls operated on a different level, more subtle.

But in the USA they use this breaking the ice as a power play. They are paranoid (feminist culture conveys men are the enemy) of guys or standoffish to the nth degree, but the irony is they have no problem hooking up in a club is they have been drinking with a stranger. It is feminism. It twists females ideas of mating and dating so much it is not worth meditating on.

Eastern European are not like this. The game is more win her heart like a knight wins a princess and she is yours to love and marry.

Maybe it is the friends you hang with or the city you are from? Maybe it is at 20 most kids question those things, I did. I sincerely do appreciate the feedback and hoe you comment again.

If it is like you say, with the tattoos and smoking and no church attendance, I can guarantee you generations future will go the way of America’s trouble youth, that is you guys will have children with multi partners and multi marriages and divorces and by the time you are in your mid way through your life you will be burnt out and cynical on love and relationships. This is my personal observation. It will be materially easy for your generation but sad in terms of love.

The 1990s post communist parent thought they would work real hard to provide the material goods for their kids. Both parents worked and they ignored transmitting the important cultural aspects of their parents to their children. Hence Poland’s new lost generation is arising perhaps. I see these tattooed cynical, smart, but not wise smoking on the streets and I wonder why their parents do not care. The kids are texting each other on their multi colored phones and have had multi boyfriends already. The answer is they are working to get that new flat or money for the vacation to Greece or Northern Italy or money so for trips to the Galeria to get clothes for their teenagers, or simply money for Alma.

However, the good news is this cultural current is only one cultural current in Poland and we will see which one prevails.

My message is any guy in Poland should ignore the Doda type galerianka or any interation of this, even if it is toned down, and go for the non tatooed humble ones that seek love of God and a husband rather than are impressed by their education or other things.

My parents are quite young, still, up to their teen years they lived in towns practicly occupied by Russians, having whatever was to be found on shelves emptied by communism, listening to as rebelious music as they could find (propably a copy of a copy of a copy of AC/DC casette someone’s uncle from States sent them) and having to count on themselves when it came to money during studies. As an effect they reised me and my brother in belief that we should be grateful for the opportunities we get, value education (that’s what let them improved their lives so much), live our lives to the fullest, not mind money or stuff too much, and learn to deal with life ourselves, help people and rely on friends, never let other take advantage of you. When I discuss it with my friends they tell me similar stories. How am I supposed to make drama about whatever little thing bothers me or go to a club looking just for sex with ideas like that planted in my head?

I liked the “bad girl” list though. Of course none of the things you listed actually labels a girl as a person you can’t have a nice relationship with (either romantic or not) but truth being told – there are only certain kinds of people for whom those things are characteristic. Only two I wouldn’t agree with are tattoos, piercings and smoking – they maybe used to be “bad girl” factors but now, as they are sociably acceptable (the first two) and common among young people (smoking) they are not anymore.
My best regards

1) through friends
2) through family
3) through online dating

I have no luck with the first two, and the third is basically a catastrophic nightmare for men for many reasons, so I won’t touch it. I’m sure you know the term “breaking the ice” with a girl. Well my question is why does this ice barrier have to be there to begin with? The problem is a sociocultural one that teaches young women to be paranoid of us guys, and it is not with you. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise because they will be wrong. Once you take a look at the big picture, then you will see that the problem was never with you. Soft spoken, intelligent, feminine, low maintenance ladies, such as the Russian lady you are talking to, are the best.